F AT H E R S F O R G O O D
When Sons Become Fathers A grandfather shares hard-earned insights from his years of on-the-job training By Gerald Korson
IT DOESN’T SEEM like that long ago that my wife and I wel-
Give them your time. No father ever died wishing he had comed our first child into the world. Just two months shy of spent more time at work, but many die wishing they had our first wedding anniversary, we were still figuring out how spent more time with their children. While work is necesto be husband and wife, and now we were parents too. sary to support the family, it can assume a life of its own More children would follow — lots more. We’d find that with burdens that negatively impact family time. Maintainparenting, like marriage, involves much on-the-job training. ing that work-family balance is difficult. Nonetheless, being Then, just when I felt I was getting the hang of this fatherhood an attentive husband and father is Job No. 1, and it might thing, we became grandparents as well. Now the eldest five of require pushing back on career demands. I am happy that our 11 children have married, and my sons, both hardworking profeseach has started a family. Grandchild sionals, dedicate intentional time to No.17 is due soon. their children. Grandfathering is also a learning Proceed with patience. I’m a fairexperience, but what fascinates ly mellow guy, but I do have buttons me most is observing my children, that can be pushed to the point that particularly my two married sons. I “lose it.” Fathers must keep such They’re navigating the same waters I buttons in check. It is our responsisailed a generation ago, and from my bility to guide our children to greater perspective they’re doing it better holiness. But, like us, they are far than I did. I always told them, “Don’t from perfect. We must be long-sufimitate my faults; outdo me in virfering in teaching our children faith tue.” They got that message. and virtue — a process that can help Changing times and cultural shifts us become holier too. bring considerable new challenges, Exemplify service. Christ washed but the fundamental principles of his disciples’ feet as a sign of humble parenting remain the same. When service. Fathers must do likewise I consider my mistakes as a young — in the way we sacrifice and father, I realize I sometimes failed show respect for our wives, take on to live these principles as faithfully household and other tasks without as I should have. Here’s some key complaint, and serve our parish and advice I’d give my sons — and young community. I wish I had modeled The author is pictured with his son Raymond — husbands and fathers anywhere — this last form of service better for a member of Ave Maria Council 5521 in South based upon what I’ve learned from my kids. I stressed service mainly Bend, Ind. — and grandson Joey. my own past missteps. in words, yet my married sons and Establish family prayer early. sons-in-law joined the Knights of Legendary coach Vince Lombardi, Columbus while still young, and a member of the Knights, said, “Winning isn’t everything; they have assimilated the truth that service begins at home it’s the only thing.” For Catholic fathers, the practice of the and extends far beyond its doors. faith is not the only thing, but it’s the basis of everything else. Catholic fatherhood brings immense joys. It is also a joy to Aside from Mass attendance, it took a while for my wife and observe the growth of my sons and sons-in-law as Catholic fame to get in sync about how and when to pray as a family. My thers themselves. As a grandfather, I can be confident that my married kids are figuring it out early, and it’s bearing fruit in grandchildren are in exceptionally good and capable hands, their children’s lives. Raising kids to become mature, responand that’s something for which I thank God every day. Happy sible, faithful adults is the whole point of Catholic fatherFather’s Day to all. B hood, after all. This begins with making the family a “domestic church” and “a community of grace and prayer” (Catechism of GERALD KORSON, a veteran Catholic journalist, is a member the Catholic Church, 1666). of the Knights of Columbus in Indiana. JUNE 2021 B C O L U M B I A
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