GOSPEL FOR THE WIN
Carvin Winans, an American gospel singer, songwriter and producer, who has sold millions of albums and toured all over the world, is ready to make your holiday season complete with his latest release, Cool Gospel.
TOP LOVE LIFE NIGHTS
RICH IS GOOD, WEALTHY IS BETTER
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THE DO’S AND DON’T’S OF DATING
NOVEMBER 2025 ISSUE
GOSPEL FOR THE WIN Carvin Winans, an American gospel singer, songwriter and producer, who has
sold millions of albums and toured all over the world, is ready to make your holiday season complete with his latest release, Cool Gospel.
14 MOVERS AND SHAKERS
Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
17 MAN CODES
Rest and relaxation.
18 HE HELPS YOU CREATE A BETTER
BUSINESS
If you hire Scott MacMeans be prepared to have really tough conversations about your business. And then be prepared to experience massive revenues.
20 LIFE LOVE NIGHTS
Paula Goins has created a new event to bring connection, culture, and cause together to celebrate the best in what people have to look forward to by combining great food, good music and incredible people, all in one place.
26 THE RIGHT THAT SHAPES THE FIRST AMENDMENT
Following the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, many
THE COUPLE WHO PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER
If people are ever going to get into better mental and physical shape, they need to have a better understanding of their relationship with sugar and their health.
Americans have started to question the current state of freedom of speech in America.
39 CODE M BEAUTY
Amazing women are refining what it means to be sexy.
52 THE MEAN THAT IS AMERICA
Rudeness is at an all-time high and it’s being wielded mercilessly by people of all ages without regard for others.
58 THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH
LaToya Smith examines love in her 2-part series on Intimacy reimagined. In this second edition she explores marriage and connection at the seven-year mark, highlighting the techniques needs to survive and thrive in your relationship.
The hospitality industry is far more than meet and greet. It is the confluence of multiple spokes that play a significant role in the global economy.
64 THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF DATING
Dating in 2025 is one of the hardest things a single person can do. Here are some tips on the do’s and don’ts if you are currently in the dating market.
72
THE DIVINE 9
Get to know people who are making a difference in their organizations and in their careers.
74
RICH IS GOOD, WEALTHY IS BETTER
In a world obsessed with money, Dr. Willie Jolley details why it is better to be wealthy. His latest books provides the blueprint to unlocking happiness and peace in a world of greed and cruelty.
76 WARM WINTER FASHIONS
There is something about cooler weather that allows for an expression in fashion that is unmatched in style.
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Bilal S. Akram
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Brad J. Bowling
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To the PUBLISHER
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ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST
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SOCIAL MEDIA
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IT CONSULTANT
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Digital Jetstream, LLC
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
David Christel
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Bilal S. Akram
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SHAKERS
TAMIKA SHANEA’ ROBINSON-CARTER
Tamika Shanea’ Robinson-Carter is a proud married, mompreneur who “inspires and changes lives daily through positivity.” She is a devoted mother of four (three sons aged 29, 25, and 21, and one daughter, 22) and 4 bonus children.
With over 25 years of business experience, Tamika built her foundation through her event-planning company, De’Sav K’Ari Events, which is now a part of her multi-faceted company Tamika Shanea’, LLC. Her company includes subdivisions Tamika Shanea’ Creations, which offers lip glosses, glitter pens, self-defense keychains, and Tamika Shanea’
Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!
by Paris Lampkins
Realty for future real-estate services. She also currently works as an Operations Coordinator at Equitable Advisors.
She has now returned to her first love broadcasting launching her weekly podcast “A Gal from Cleveland w/ Tamika Shanea’” and her popular daily Facebook Live series “Convos with God,” which continues to inspire audiences worldwide.
Tamika holds an Associate’s from Bryant & Stratton College and a Bachelor’s from the University of the People both in Business Administration. She is currently pursuing her MBA at Cleveland State University.
DAWN B. RICHARDSON
Dawn B. Richardson is pharmacy sales representative for AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF Pharmacy), the world’s largest AIDS organization that currently serves over 2.5 million patients in 17 states and 47 countries around the world. She has more than 20 years of experience in the healthcare and pharmaceutical industries.
Currently, she serves as one of the two chairs of (BLACC- Ohio) Black Leadership in AIDS Healthcare Coalition. BLACC (Black Leadership AIDS Crisis Coalition) is an AIDS Healthcare Foundation affinity group that provides culturally relevant outreach to the African- American community to increase awareness and access to HIV/AIDS prevention, testing, and care.
Richardson holds a Master’s and Bachelor of Arts degree from Kent State University. She is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated, the Cleveland Chapter of Jack and Jill of America and The Cleveland Chapter of Links, Incorporated. In her spare time, she enjoys traveling and spending time with her family and friends.
DEVON CHRISTOPHER JOHNSON
DeVon Christopher Johnson is a successful entrepreneur and media mogul, born and raised in New York. He spent his early childhood in Far Rockaway, Queens, before moving to Uniondale on Long Island as a toddler. DeVon's success can be attributed to his strong foundation, which includes achieving the highest honor of Eagle Scout during his years as a Boy Scout, as well as serving as a volunteer peer educator for the American Red Cross during his high school years.
DeVon earned his Bachelor's degree in Communication and Arts from Seton Hall University, followed by a Master's degree in Journalism from Harvard University. His career began at Def Jam Records, where he worked in marketing and advertising roles before moving on to Universal Music Group, Warner Music Group, and Atlantic Records. During his time in the music industry, DeVon collaborated on projects for iconic artists such as Jay-Z, LL Cool J, Mariah Carey, Trey Songz, and Rihanna.
Despite his successful career in the music industry, DeVon felt called to pursue his passion for media and publishing. He founded BleuLife Media Group, Inc., which began as a single publication, Bleu Magazine, and has since grown into a full-scale multimedia company serving diverse audiences worldwide. DeVon leveraged his marketing knowledge and communications expertise to develop a media empire with a global reach and a man-
date of inclusivity and diversity. BleuLife Media Group's platforms now include Bleu Magazine, Bombshellbybleu.com, Bleu TV, a podcast network, a geo-targeting mobile ad platform, and an agency that represents digital influencers.
MAN CODES: REST AND RELAXATION
Compiled by Bilal S. Akram
“Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
- Maya Angelou
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” – Anonymous
“It's a good idea always to do something relaxing prior to making an important decision in your life.” - Paulo Coelho
“He who cannot rest, cannot work; he who cannot let go, cannot hold on; he who cannot find footing, cannot go forward.”
- African Proverb
“When the mind is allowed to relax, inspiration often follows.”Phil Jackson
“Doing something positive will help turn your mood around.
When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.”
- Simone Elkeles
“Find people that bring you joy and make time to be with them... it’s more important than we think.” - Alicia Keys
“Fixed times must be kept free, hours appointed, for the health of the soul.” - Augustine of Hippo
“Relaxing brings weakness, when done by a muscle; but brings strength, when done by a person.” - Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Mark 6:31-32 –(31) “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get so)me rest. (32) So, they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.” (NIV)
Paulo Coelho
If you hire Scott MacMeans be prepared to have really tough conversations about your business. And then be prepared to experience massive revenues.
Thriving in business has never been more complicated. In 2025, one bad decision can destroy a company forever. For business leaders that might need some help navigating the rough waters of self-employment can turn to SVO Performance CEO, Scott MacMeans.
MacMeans is a fractional leader in business. That means that he offers help to those who might have gaps in their business plan and need assistance identifying opportunities that they cannot see, or either do not have time to exploit.
“I help business owners interpret data, and I help give them a better sense of what they should be doing to have better out-
HE HELPS YOU CREATE A BETTER BUSINESS
Written by BRAD BOWLING
comes.” MacMeans said.
For those who struggle to understand data driven analysis, finance, and the legal aspects of business can hire MacMeans to come in some help them understand their options and execute at a higher level, often leading to more revenue.
MacMeans operates like a partner for anyone who simply does not have the time to push all the buttons that come with business. With MacMeans being a consultant, his influence can affect positive change without taking on a partner or hurting the bottom line.
“I work with all different types of people.” MacMeans continued, “The people who get the most out of my serves are those people who push their ego to the side and let humility go away
Anthony settings community.
Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.
and who actually step into a role because they want to be better and learn a better way to get business done.”
MacMeans says that a change in mindset is often the winning formula for those who gain the most out of MacMeans’s services. He champions those business owners who see the possible, take a step back, and then learn a better way to accomplish their goals.
At the end of the day, business ownership is all about results. Those who understand that thrive, and those who struggle with that are out of business within the first three years.
MacMeans understands that so he picks his clients carefully. Not everyone is strong enough to hand over the keys to a business and let someone else drive. It takes a strong personality to do that, and it takes an even stronger person to take the advice of a consultant.
TRUST IS THE KEY
MacMeans firm will come in and create a better work environment, however they really come in and change the mentality of the owner. He credits the fact that when people really start to understand the rules of the game, they see so much growth and potential by learning new and better ways to operate their business. The metrics of success are determined by business diagnostics. MacMeans team will come in and run through a series to determine where the business is, and where they want to go. After that MacMeans will develop, with the owners’ help, a plan to impact on the business in a way that will allow it to thrive with the information that is acquired during the learning period.
However, MacMeans warns that success is not overnight, and hard
decisions need to be made for a business to begin to see improvement.
The best time to contact MacMeans is the day you start your business. The second best day to contact him is today.
For those who have spent twenty years trying to get ahead and never can seem to get over the hump are the best candidates for SVO Performance. Those businesses have a client base and have clung to life; they just need organization and a better understanding of how to get over the hurdles of business.
MacMeans also helps businesses that need an exit strategy.
“There are so many business owners who have been in business for a long time and have no one to turn the business over to,” MacMeans continued, “We will come in and structure the business, so it is attractive to another business.”
Success is not guaranteed in business, and failure is often not understood until it is too late. For anyone who is willing to push all their poker chips to the middle of the table and bet on themselves should consult Scott MacMeans for help.
He can tell which card to play so your risk is reduced, and your chances of winning are better. ●
Scott Macmeans can be reached @ admin@bethebuffalo-chargethestorm.com
Anthony Brown in various settings throughout the community.
LOVE LIFE NIGHTS
Paula Goins has created a new event to bring connection, culture, and cause together to celebrate the best in what people have to look forward to by combining great food, good music and incredible people, all in one place.
By Kristen Wright Matthews
The current world is a strange place. Filled with inflation, doubt, and turmoil, people everywhere are experiencing a level of anxiety that is becoming a cause for concern. With few outlets or opportunities to celebrate life, many are choosing not to venture out, which increases anxiety by adding self-isolation to the problem.
For Paula Goins, this represented an opportunity to do something to feed people’s souls and spirits. The journalist, cultural curator, and experiential event producer decided to create a night where people could recapture what it meant to feel alive. She wanted to create a room filled with laughter, live music, and meaningful conversation that reminded everyone what it meant to feel seen again.
Goins created the Love Life Nights Experience. It consists of an event designed to reconnect with people through shared meals, live artistry, and purpose-driven giving.
“When I couldn’t find it,” she said, “I decided to create it.” What started as an intimate gathering called Love Life at Cozy’s in Los Angeles has evolved into a full-fledged movement, one that blends luxury with authenticity, warmth with purpose.
The former Wedding Style Magazine writer has more than 20 years of expertise in storytelling and creative production. Her writing experience, along with her refined eye for elegance and detail, has allowed her to breathe life into Love Life Nights into a reality.
The first event kicked off in Columbus, Ohio, with amazing results and a wonderful evening.
Goins and her team received amazing support from those who attended.
Emmy Award-winning comedian and Saturday Night Live Icon, Kenan Thompson, joined the crowd in Columbus. Born in Columbus, Thompson
didn’t take the stage as a celebrity; he became part of the family.
Thompson and Goins are longtime friends, and his presence underscored the authenticity of the evening.
“These are the times when we need to know our neighbors,” Thompson said in a conversation with Twyla Garrett, serial entrepreneur, real estate developer, and founder of The Impact League. “That’s what this is about, connecting again.”
A Curated Experience
Love Life Columbus unfolded like a symphony every note intentional, every guest hand-selected. The luxury evening featured a multi-course gourmet meal crafted by local chef Emmanuel Tyson (Chef Manny), served family-style at tables of six to eight. The communal seating encouraged strangers to dine as though they’d known each other for years entrepreneurs sharing bites with educators, nonprofit leaders laughing alongside attorneys and artists. The result? A room where friendship felt effortless.
Entertainment for the evening was just as remarkable. The live band, Fewxion, led by Love Life Columbus music director Hawc Griffin, filled the room with timeless grooves and heartfelt energy. The set featured a surprise appearance by Keith Eaddy, a Los Angeles–based music director and re-
Greg and Sabrina Oden were in attendance at the Love Life Columbus, Ohio event.
nowned saxophonist who has shared stages with some of the biggest names in R&B and jazz. His performance a collaboration with Fewxion brought the crowd to its feet.
Among the distinguished guests were former NBA player Greg Oden and his wife Sabrina, as well as business leaders and entrepreneurs Twyla Garrett and Kevin Calhoun reflecting the diversity of industries and passions that Love Life Nights attract.
Purpose Meets Heart
While Love Life Nights offers a luxury experience, its heart beats for a cause. The youth-led Blankies 4 My Buddies Foundation serves as the official nonprofit partner, with partial proceeds from each city’s celebration donated to provide comfort and healing to children facing hard times.
Founded by CJ Matthews after the loss of his unborn sister, the foundation began as his personal healing journey and has since grown into a global youth movement of kindness. Together with his younger brother Kollin, CJ inspires kids everywhere to make a difference with their own hands.
Earlier this fall, Love Life and Blankies 4 My Buddies visited the Ronald McDonald House of Central Ohio, delivering blankets for babies in the NICU, crocheted hats for Children’s Cancer Awareness Month, and copies of CJ’s award-winning book And Then There Was One, written to help children cope with grief.
The Journey Continues
With the success of Columbus, Love Life Nights is expanding nationally with upcoming stops in New York City, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Miami, and the DMV area. Each city’s ambassador will select a cause close to their heart, ensuring every celebration leaves a lasting impact.
On November 29, Love Life returns to Columbus for one final evening before the tour hits the road. Guests can look forward to a new menu designed by Chef Darryl, whose Southern-inspired cuisine will be paired with Zesty Compass Wines, and an electrifying performance by viral R&B sensation L. Young, whose powerhouse vocals have captivated millions online. Local musicians will also share the stage, continuing Love Life’s tradition of blending artistry, purpose, and connection.
The next Love Life Columbus event will be held on November 29, and tickets are available now at LoveLifeNights.com.
More Than a Night Out
Love Life Nights isn’t just an event it’s an atmosphere. A movement. A reminder that true luxury lies in human connection. “When people come together to eat, talk, and just be, something shifts,” Paula Goins reflected. “That’s the kind of love we want to multiply city by city.”
As the lights dim and glasses clink in Columbus once more, one thing is certain: Love Life Nights has struck a chord. It’s an experience that feels as good as it looks where every table tells a story, every song lifts the soul, and every connection lingers long after the night ends. ●
Comedian Kenan Thompson, Kristen Wright Matthews, , and Paula Goins at the event.
THE RIGHT THAT SHAPES THE FIRST AMENDMENT
Following the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, many Americans have started to question the current state of freedom of speech in America.
Written by Madison M. Maynard
In mid-September, YouGov reported that 55 percent of Americans, mostly Democrats and Independents, say the state of freedom of speech is somewhat or very bad, with only 27 percent, mostly Republicans, saying that it is good. However, Democrats, Independents, and Republicans are all viewing the state of freedom of speech more negatively since this past spring.
Since the beginning of President Trump’s second term, there has been a growing amount of concern about how freedom of speech is being handled, defined, and misapplied.
Several public figures have risen to prominence, amplifying ongoing debates surrounding freedom of expression, with Charlie Kirk being one of the most controversial.
Countless conservatives consider Kirk a hero, and many viewed
“Black women do not have the brain processing power to be taken seriously. You have to go steal a white person’s slot.”
The Post stated that her commentary was “unacceptable,” “gross misconduct,” and endangered the physical safety of her colleagues.
This has sparked outrage in the Black community, especially among Black journalists, and the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ).
“The dismissal earlier this month of Attiah, who was the founding Global Opinions editor responsible for bringing diverse perspectives to the paper’s pages, has raised an alarm about the erosion of Black voices across the media,” said the NABJ press.
Many accused his rhetoric of targeting the Black community, particularly Black women, immigrants, and the LGBTQ+ community. After his death, people have spoken up regarding his controversial remarks, only to be retaliated against and some were unexpectedly fired from their jobs as a result.
him as a strong advocate of our right to freedom of speech. Since his passing, his resolute supporters have compared his legacy to civil rights leader Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and he’s been labeled as a martyr.
However, many in the civil rights community haven’t let the comparisons to Dr. King slide. In those circles, Kirk’s legacy is far from celebrated, and he is frequently referred to as a White supremacist.
Many accused his rhetoric of targeting the Black community, particularly Black women, immigrants, and the LGBTQ+ community. After his death, people have spoken up regarding his controversial remarks, only to be retaliated against and some were unexpectedly fired from their jobs as a result.
This has led many to a crucial question: Is there a double standard concerning who can enjoy freedom of speech?
The termination of Black opinion columnist Karen Attiah from The Washington Post has sparked much discussion because she posted on BlueSky one of Kirk’s most controversial statements.
The first amendment has come under attack by some in America.
The NABJ recently met with The Post to ensure that they stay committed to diversity within their newsroom. Executive Editor of The Post, Matt Murray, stated that they continue to prioritize diversity and giving opportunities to journalists of color. Moving forward, the NABJ seeks to develop a formal relationship with The Post to ensure accountability.
The impact of the evolving standards of fairness in freedom of speech has not been limited to journalists and public figures. Censorship of various segments of the population that express dissenting views has trickled down to everyday individuals and is preventing citizens from freedom of expression. An example of this is the overwhelming censorship of social media posts, which limits access to information.
After Kirk’s death, there were multiple complaints of racial harassment on the campus of Delta State University in Cleveland, Mississippi. A few days later, news came out about a young college student named Demartravion “Trey” Reed, who was found hanging from a tree near the campus.
Reed’s initial autopsy by local and state officials ruled his death a suicide. However, the details surrounding his death has led his family, legal team, and many others to believe he was lynched.
Former NFL player and activist Colin Kaepernick’s Know Your Rights Camp Autopsy Initiative has funded an independent second autopsy. The initial report claims that Reed’s death wasn’t a suicide, but it has not been officially confirmed by his legal team.
According to Jayden Reynolds, a student at Howard University in Washington, D.C., he didn’t see a lot of coverage on Reed’s death, so he decided to post about it on his Instagram page. Later, he realized that he’d been shadow-banned, meaning that his story was no longer viewable to his followers.
Reynolds made it clear that this won’t stop him from speaking up for the Black community, but he is thinking about social media in a way that he didn’t before.
“I will continue to post, but now I am more alert to odd changes in viewership,” Reynolds said. “I’m not someone who tries to create content. I was merely just reposting a story to get the attention of my peers and my friends who follow me, and only receiving fourteen viewers when I have around 570 followers doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t add up.”
This experience led Reynolds to question whether a double standard exists regarding who is truly afforded the right to free speech. Based on his own experience, he believes such a disparity does exist. Especially when it involves advocacy for the Black community.
“I definitely believe that Black voices are being disproportionately
silenced,” Reynolds said. “All marginalized groups are given a lot less exposure to mainstream algorithms as opposed to non-POCs.”
There are a lot of concerns about the current state of free speech, but the nuances of what constitutes protected speech are often misunderstood by the general public. There is often confusion about where the right to free speech begins and ends. However, on an Instagram post, the American Bar Association provides more clarity on our First Amendment rights.
“Speech between individuals or on social media that is not controlled or influenced by the government does not fall under First Amendment protections. Private individuals, businesses, or organizations are not prevented from imposing their own restrictions on speech.”
The First Amendment restricts only government action, not private entities. Therefore, organizations like The Washington Post are within their legal rights to regulate employees’ speech if it conflicts with company policies. Similarly, platforms such as Instagram may moderate or limit the visibility of posts they deem inappropriate or can choose to limit or remove posts that don’t align with its policies.
The experiences of Karen Attiah and Jayden Reynolds highlight the ethical implications of silencing speech rather than its legal ramifications. Many people express concern about the suppression of Black voices, particularly in today’s polarized political climate. Nevertheless, numerous organizations such as the National Coalition Against Censorship and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) continue to advocate for the protection and amplification of diverse perspectives.
Censorship, when used to silence disagreement, risks eroding the very foundation of open dialogue. Yet, total freedom without accountability can lead to harm. The press and platforms such as Instagram have a moral challenge that lies in finding a balance between protecting users from dangerous content while still honoring the principle that everyone deserves to be heard. The challenge is ensuring that moderation policies do not disproportionately restrict marginalized voices and further suppress the perspectives of underrepresented communities. ●
Freedom of speech is considered to be the bedrock of American culture.
The transformative power of prayer in marriage is the tie that bonds couples together for long-lasting relationships filled with love and respect.
Written by CHRIS A. MATTHEWS
Chris A. Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and approved supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Visit chrisAmatthews.com to learn more about his work with couples and families.
MMarriage is an intricate journey, filled with ups and downs, and the ever-present winds of change. When couples set out on this path to build a resilient and enduring union, they often seek valuable tools and strategies to navigate the intricate terrain of married life. One such tool that has recently gained recognition for its potential to impact marriages positively is the practice of prayer.
In this article, we embark on a journey into the world of highly religious couples, each sharing an impressive 20-year bond. Their shared secret? The act of praying together. We shall explore the reasons why these couples who pray together tend to stay together, and how this seemingly simple act can be a catalyst for profound transformation within a marriage.
Marriage, as it turns out, is far from being a static institution; instead, it’s a continuous process of growth and adaptation. Much like individuals themselves, marriages evolve. Couples who have weathered the challenges and shared joys of decades understand that transformation isn’t an abrupt occurrence but rather a cumulative, adaptive, and facilitating journey. As these couples gracefully adapt to life’s myriad challenges and the ever-shifting landscapes of their own selves, they turn to various tools that aid them on their remarkable journey.
Our voyage begins with a comprehensive research study that has identified 368 couples, all highly religious, who have forged bonds lasting an average of two decades. These couples have not been immune to the changes that life inevitably brings, yet they have found a way not only to endure but to flourish. Their enduring marriages are a testament to the potency of cumulative, adaptive, and facilitating transformation.
At the heart of these remarkable unions lies the practice of prayer. For these couples, prayer is a cornerstone of their marital transformation. They do not perceive prayer as a quick-fix miracle worker; instead, it is a catalyst for meaningful change. Prayer serves as a tool to gain deeper insights and discover effective solutions to the inevitable challenges that married life presents. In this exploration, we shall delve into how sincere and profound prayer equips these couples with the tools necessary to navigate the intricate journey of married life successfully.
Understanding the Research
Before we dive into the transformative potential of prayer in marriage, it is imperative to gain a comprehensive understanding of the research that reinforces the value of prayer. Researchers have dedicated themselves to the investigation of how Evangelicals, in their interpretation of the Christ-groom metaphor within the con-
text of their own relationships and spiritual experiences, have found consistent marital growth by way of faith-based practices. The participants in this study described their understanding of Jesus within this metaphor in a multitude of ways:
• Some perceived Jesus as tender and intimately desiring a relationship.
• Others saw Him as relentlessly pursuing them with passionate love.
• Some viewed Jesus as a stable and companionate partner, highlighting reliability.
• Many described Jesus as continually sacrificing and generously giving.
• Some believed that Jesus provided for their needs, even when they could not reciprocate.
These participants have employed the image of the husband or lover God to sanctify their marital relationships, attributing sacred qualities to their unions. In this sacred metaphor, they view their spouses as “gifts” from God and consider Jesus as a guiding example of how they should behave within their own marriages.
It’s important to note that interpretations of this metaphor were not uniform among the participants; some applied it quite literally, acknowledging hierarchical aspects in their marriages, while others grappled with these hierarchical elements, choosing to favor more equal partnerships. Nevertheless, the metaphor has been a powerful influence, promoting qualities such as patience and love as ways of relating to their spouses.
The Interplay Between Spirituality and Marriage
The study reveals that the Christ-groom and Church-bride metaphor has the potential to enhance the commitment of couples to one another. It encourages the embodiment of qualities such as unconditional love, patience, and sacrifice, while also enhancing their conceptions of God.
The Transformative Power of Prayer
It is evident that the transformation of a marriage is an ongoing process, and highly religious couples have discovered that prayer plays a pivotal role in their personal and marital development. But how does this process work, and what are the key factors that contribute to the enduring bond of couples who pray together?
• Enhanced Communication and Understanding – One of
the most notable benefits of couples who pray together is their ability to foster improved communication and understanding. When couples engage in prayer together, they create a dedicated space for a deeper connection. This shared practice provides a safe haven for them to express their desires, hopes, and concerns, deepening their connection and enhancing mutual understanding.
For example, consider Zach, a devout Latter-day Saint husband, who, together with his wife, prays every night, offering specific prayers for each other. This shared spiritual communion strengthens their bond as they express their desires for each other’s wellbeing. Through prayer, couples find a platform to prioritize selflessness over selfishness, focusing on their partner’s needs and thus elevating the relationship.
• Conflict Resolution – Another prominent benefit of prayer in marriage is its role in conflict resolution. Disagreements and challenges are a common occurrence in any marriage, and prayer provides couples with a constructive means to address these issues. When conflicts arise, sincere and poignant prayer offers couples a brief respite to step back from the situation, regain control over their emotions, and become more rational and reasonable in their discussions.
Take the example of Tal, a devoted Muslim husband, who turns to
prayer when he is upset. During prayer, he centers himself and seeks guidance. By the time he returns to his wife, he is in a better emotional state to engage in a productive discussion. This approach highlights the role of prayer as a calming and clarifying force that aids in problem-solving within the marriage.
• Shared Values and Goals – Praying together also serves to reinforce shared values and goals within a marriage. It is vital that partners in a marriage share fundamental beliefs and aspirations. Through prayer, couples align themselves with their shared spiritual values and remind each other of their common objectives, ensuring a strong sense of purpose within the relationship.
Mary, a devoted Christian wife, underscores the significance of their nightly prayers with her husband as a reminder of their shared faith and purpose. They employ prayer as a means to seek guidance and reaffirm their commitment to both their faith and each other, thus establishing a robust foundation for their marriage.
• Encouragement of Gratitude – Prayer within marriage also encourages a profound sense of gratitude. By expressing thankfulness for each other and the blessings they have received, couples create a positive and appreciative atmosphere within their relationship. Gratitude holds the power to counteract negative emotions and significantly enhance marital satisfaction.
Lina, a devoted Jewish wife, emphasizes the role of gratitude within her marriage. Both she and her husband include expressions of gratitude in their daily prayers, which have helped them focus on the positives in their relationship. Gratitude becomes a means of acknowledging each other’s contributions and strengths, ultimately creating a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership.
• A Source of Strength During Difficult Times – In the ever -shifting landscape of marriage, couples inevitably face trials and tribulations, stemming from both internal and external sources. Highly religious couples find that prayer serves as a profound source of strength during these challenging moments. It provides them with a sense of spiritual support and resilience, ultimately enabling them to weather the storms of life together.
Ella, a devout Buddhist wife, shared the role of prayer in
Prayer is considered to be the foundation of a strong union.
their marriage during her husband’s illness. She attests that their shared prayers provided them with a profound sense of unity and strength, helping them confront the uncertainty of the situation with courage and faith, ultimately bringing them closer together.
As couples strive to unlock the secrets of enduring and flourishing marriages, couples who pray together offer profound insights. The transformation within a marriage is not a one-time event but rather a continuous journey of growth and adaptation. These couples have demonstrated that prayer, as a catalyst for positive change within a marriage, isn’t a panacea but a source of guidance, understanding, and strength.
Through enhanced communication, conflict resolution, shared values, gratitude, and the ability to face challenges head-on, prayer emerges as the glue that binds these couples together. They have learned the transformative power of prayer, showcasing the enduring strength of marriages where partners not only grow together but also pray together, thus ensuring their bond remains unshaken through life’s myriad seasons.
It’s clear that in the ever-evolving river of marriage, the transformative power of prayer keeps couples grounded, connected, and resilient. It serves as a reminder that in the face of change, challenges, and the passage of time, couples who pray together are more likely to stay together. ●
BEAUTY
CANDACE STARKS
Candace Starks is a 40 year old powerhouse entrepreneur making her mark across the greater Los Angeles area. Best known in the real estate world for her thriving Notary and Loan Signing business, she's built bridges across industries from grassroots communities to LA's elite circles.
Now, Candace is expanding her reach into writing, fashion, and creative expression driven by authenticity, purpose, and a desire to inspire.
Beyond business, she's a proud mother to a 20 year old son her greatest motivation and living symbol of legacy.
Embracing both her Black and Mexican heritage, Candace moves through life with harmony and power balancing strength and softness, hustle and grace. Whether she's at a closing, creating, or cultivating community, Candace Starks is the definition of doing it all unapologetically and with intention.
GOSPEL FOR THE WIN
Former Kansas City Chiefs football player, Art Still, discusses life after being diagnosed with cardiac amyloidosis (ATTR-CM), and how he is spreading the word to people across the US about getting tested for the condition.
Written by BRAD BOWLING
Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.
Art Still was a professional football player for the Kansas City Chiefs.
Every morning when Carvin Winans wakes up, he goes to a special place in his house for what he calls, prayer hour. During the hour of prayer, Winans takes time to thank God for his family, his accomplishments, his struggles, and his blessings. His head down and his eyes closed, Winans focuses on understanding that his journey could have been different. Who knows what his life would be like without his faith? For him, his blessing starts with being born into an incredible family.
HIS FAMILY
There are ten Winans siblings, who were born to David (Pop) and Delores Winans’ (Mom) parents. The siblings in birth order are Ronald (deceased), Carvin, Marvin, Michael, Daniel, Benjamin ("BeBe"), Priscilla ("CeCe"), David II, Angelique, and Debra Renee. Carvin and Marvin are the only twins in the family.
Mom and Pop Winans lived in Detroit, Michigan, where the family attended and sang in church. The musical family was so talented that everyone in the family went on to have careers in the music industry. Pop Winans also had a solo career in music, releasing a CD of gospel music with his wife, Delores "Mom" Winans, called Mom & Pop Winans in 1989. That project earned him a Grammy nomination.
With the apple not falling far from the tree, the Winans' children all went on to develop their sound and act as they formed in various groups. Carvin performed as a member of the Winans. This group included his brothers, Marvin, Ron, David Jr., and Michael. The group had major success singing contemporary gospel and toured all around the world.
Their big break was their first record, Introducing the Winans, produced in 1981 by Andrae Crouch, two years after he discovered them and invited them to tour with him.
They performed vocals in This Is America, Charlie Brown's segment "The Building of the Transcontinental Railroad" in 1989. Their style was noted for its crossover efforts and received airplay on R&B radio. The group's last recording was in 1995. They have been involved in various Winans family projects where they are credited as the Winans, like in November 2000s Christmas: Our Gifts to You.
Together, the Winans have won seven Grammys, and their music still resonates with people today.
“It was a very special time for us,” Winans said, “We were able to accomplish some amazing things. And to do that with my brother made it even more special.
HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Carvin and his brothers have experienced moments throughout their careers that, for him, will never be forgotten. Carvin recounts one of his best memories of his journey by making it on to The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
“I grew up watching Johnny Carson, so when we were asked to appear on his show, I thought I had made it,” Winans chuckles. “There are certain times when you just look back and say, ‘wow that was cool,’ and that was one of those moments.”
Winans has so many memories to be thankful for. One of his fondest memories is being asked to sing backup to the Michael Jackson song, Man in The Mirror. He thinks back to being asked to work with Jackson and how, in that moment, they knew that they were at the top of their game. Friends with Quincy Jones, the group was asked to come in and share some ideas about how they would approach the background vocals.
“When we got there, Michael would share his thoughts with Quincy, and then Quincy would share those thoughts with us. We would respond with our ideas, and then we all would sing.” Winans continued, “Then it got to the point where Quincy said to Mike, ‘Hey, they are right here in the room, you can just tell them our ideas.’ We all laughed, and then Michael loosened up and we had a ball making that record.”
Winans knew the song was going to be special because of what it meant to everyone as they were making the song.
“People do not know this, but that was Michael’s gospel song. His goal was to make a gospel record, and Man in The Mirror, was it,” Winans said. “We could all feel how deep and powerful we all sang.”
Today Man in The Mirror is considered to be one of Jackson’s best songs and would reduce people to tears when he performed the song in concert. Winans remembers that recording session as one of the best days of he and his brothers’ recording careers.
HIS STRUGGLES
As all men do, Winans has seen his day of struggle. Even with an amazing family, even with being born to sing like a bird, life can be challenging at times. For Winans, the journey of life was no different.
“Even though I was born in the church, I still had my share of bad decisions,” Winans remembered. Although none of his decisions caused him any long-term prob-
lems, Winans knew that this career was going to have ups and downs and that he would need to stay grounded and humbled to better handle the losses as well as the wins.
Winans left the music industry for about fifteen years when he moved to Canada. Winans met his wife Cherie, who is Canadian, and the couple decided to live in Canada. Winans became a dual citizen and started his life with his new wife by stepping away from music.
“When we moved to Canada, I tried to remain in music, but no one there really understood what it took to create music at the level I was used to,” Winans said. “I tried a few things and then eventually I had to do something else because gospel music in Canada was not popular, and I lived in an area where no one made music professionally.”
Winans received residual checks from past records and performances; however, those checks became smaller and smaller, and their bills stayed the same.
“My wife was incredible and very consistent in her work.” Winans continued, “So I would cook and clean, and I made sure when she got home, everything was good, but that got old and I knew I had to do something to start to bring in some income.”
Winans was out of his element. His Grammys, his career, and his fame did not create an income for his family in Canada. He and his wife created a resume, and he applied for a porter’s job at the local Volkswagen dealership in the area.
The owner of the dealership was floored when he saw Winans' resume.
“He said to me, ‘There is no way I am going to let you wash cars at my dealership,’” Winans said.
But Winans needed a job and did not care about his past. He needed to put food on the table. He eventually got the job and did it with class and humility. Winans was eventually moved up to sell cars and outsold every salesman on the floor while he worked there. He did his job with pride, and it made him feel valuable enough to take another look at music.
Winans was offered an opportunity to return to the States to become the CEO of a record label. He jumped at the chance. He had been out of music for a long time, and this gave him a chance to get back to doing the things he loved. With his wife and kids' support, he left
Canada and began his new position. His dream job quickly became his worst nightmare.
“When I went to cash my first paycheck, it bounced,” Winans said.
The office was not real, the opportunity was not real, and the job was not real. Winans had been scammed. He thought he had done his homework. He and his wife checked the opportunity out; it looked legit. He moved his daughter to a new school, he bought a new home, and he left his wife in Canada. It was fake, and Winans’ faith was shaken.
HIS BLESSINGS
Winans' foundation was shaken, but his faith never wavered. His family was separated; however, their belief in each other was strong. Winans remembers those in the music industry hired him to do special projects, which paid his bills. He was offered chances to step back into singing and soon realized that his nightmare might actually
have been a dream, because it moved him back to a city where he could thrive doing what he loved.
Today, Winans has just released his latest project, Cool Gospel. It blends so much music with messaging. Each song resonates at a level everyone can feel. Winans credits his upbringing for allowing him to bounce back like he has.
“There is someone out there who is struggling with a decision and direction. I need them to know that if they keep God in their life, and their faith strong, they will find what they are looking for, and they will find their destiny,” Winans said.
Prayer hour is over. Winans opens his eyes and stands in front of his huge bay window and looks out into the world with a sense of peace and happiness. He knows that he is blessed. He knows that he is humble, and he knows that his journey is one built in purpose.
If there is any message to his story, it is that anyone can stumble, anyone can fall; it is how you get back that matters. A strong example of a man, the way only Pop Winans could have made. ●
For more information, please visit https://www.carvinwinans.com/
THE MEAN THAT IS AMERICA HEALTH
Rudeness is at an all-time high and it’s being wielded mercilessly by people of all ages without regard for others.
Written by DAVID CHRISTEL
The recent Ryder Cup held in September at Bethpage Black in Farmingdale, New York, was in the news when it was reported that US golf fans exhibited what was termed “shameful, rude, and meanspirited” heckling directed at the European team. The behavior garnered plenty of press attention as yet another example of Americans’ lack of respect and dignity.
The irony in this is that fans attending Bethpage Black have a reputation for being boisterous, rude, and often vulgar What’s different about this is that rudeness in general in the US has skyrocketed to unheard of levels. We are now surrounded and inundated with rudeness wherever we are, in all arenas, and at all levels of society.
The analogy is that people of all ages are treating life like a video game where the consequences for one’s actions aren’t real. But people and life are real. People get hurt and traumatized, their lives irreparably harmed, jobs and careers lost. Sometimes, people end up maimed for life, commit suicide, or are killed because
In today’s world, people are mocked and laughed at for their misfortunes. We malign, debase, and dismiss them and we believe that’s okay to do. The callousness with which we now approach life is dispiriting and only does one thing: take us down a rabbit hole of diminishing compassion, connection, and emotional stability. What used to be
of rudeness.
David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.
considered ill behavior is now commonplace and, in some places, celebrated.
Rudeness takes many different forms from talking on one’s phone while at the movies, to smoking in prohibited places, to destroying property, driving wildly on roads and highways without regard to other drivers’ safety, using course language no matter who is present, blaring music wherever and when-
ever, talking on the phone when a store clerk is trying to communicate with you, having loud phone conversations while working out at the gym the list goes on and on.
The Pew Research Center reports that half of people polled say that Americans have gotten ruder since COVID-19. About half of Americans have experienced a downward shift in everyday civility. Many polled said that they experience and witness
greater levels of rudeness when in public spaces.
There are a number of reasons why Americans are so rude.
1. American hustle culture drives people to step over others considered too slow or low.
2. Obsession with and reliance on technology and social media rather than face-to-face interactions has reduced our compassion quotient plus decreased our attention spans and tolerance for anything of length.
Mate poaching is the deliberate attempt to attract or seduce someone who is already in a committed romantic relationship. This can involve flirtation, emotional manipulation, or direct actions to disrupt the existing relationship.
3. The US is a melting pot, so clashes occur between cultures, religions, ideologies, etc.
4. Americans tend to ignore other country’s cultures and conventions, often out of a sense of superiority.
5. Many Americans tend not to do their homework when traveling to other places, especially other countries and thus believe that they can do whatever they please.
6. The American diet is terrible, which leads to insufficient nutrient intake. That leads to health issues, both physical and mental, which leads to emotional and psychological issues.
7. Obesity combined with lack of exercise often leads to poor mental health and one’s sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
8. American hubris has created a culture of superiority and entitlement.
9. Influencer culture keeps raising the bar or lowering it depending on your perspective on flash that lacks substance, depth, and meaning.
10. The proliferation of purposeful mis- and disinformation coupled with an education system unable to cope with or create an environment that interests and engages students.
11. So much of our news focuses on an unending barrage of negative things, which brings our own mood down and feeds a sense of hopelessness, insecurity, anxiety, and fear.
12. Much of American culture is now based on “What’s in it for me?” We’ve added “Why should I care?” to that.
All of this negatively affects our emotional state, and thus, how we communicate and interact with each other. The outcome is: rudeness. One of the underpinning emotions of our rudeness is anger. According to an NPR-IBM Watson Health poll, 84 percent of people surveyed said Americans are angrier today than compared with a generation ago. Of those polled, 42 percent reported that they were angrier in the past year than they’ve been in prior years.
Americans have a lot to be angry about you name it, it’s buggin’ us. The big question is: How do we deal with our anger when we’re surrounded by a million things that trigger us?
As Jack Nicholson said in the movie Anger Management, “Temper is the one thing you can’t get rid of by losing it.” Sappy, but true. For most people, losing their temper may make them feel temporarily better, but that’s just an emotional reaction, not a long-term solution. The problem is: that anger is going to surface again and again unless effectively dealt with.
Seeking professional therapeutic help is what most people consider because working with someone who offers a dispassionate, neutral perspective wherein the observer has no emotional investment in the client and their anger issues is extremely helpful. There are also anger management support groups one can join. They’re very helpful in many perspectives and lived experiences are brought into play that are highly relatable to the group’s members.
Not everyone, though, wants to work with anyone else and would prefer to handle things on their own. In that case, the following tips are useful to develop and practice.
when
Identify triggers – triggers are those things that provoke an emotional reaction. That could be something as simple as a word or phrase, a scene in a movie, someone’s actions, or a song. Identifying what causes us to be triggered is important so that we don’t keep setting ourselves up for meltdowns or blowups.
Determine if the anger we’re experiencing is helpful or not –knowing when expressing anger is appropriate or not allows us to manage our response rather than be a slave to it. We then can choose a different response to and interaction with the situation that resolves or dissolves it.
Recognize the warning signs – we can all feel when our anger switch is going to flip on for whatever reason. We then have to ask ourselves at this decision point which direction we want to go.
• We can step away from the situation without engaging – as difficult as this can be because of how we’ve been socially conditioned about saving face, standing our ground, not backing down, manning up, etc., taking this action can save our dignity and maybe even our life.
• Talk through our feelings with someone we trust – trust is in short supply these days, so having someone in our corner is extremely helpful. Whomever we talk with, it’s not just about getting things off our chest, but working toward positive solutions.
• Breathe and relax – okay, when in the heat of the moment, this can be the last thing we think of doing, but boy does it
work. This simple approach allows us to press our internal pause button and even help us to take a step back to gain a larger, calmer perspective.
Recognizing that we’re angry is only part of the emotional equation. We also need to figure out what that anger is actually based upon so that we get to the heart of our emotional response and begin to understand it more deeply. That process then allows us the option to release it and gain a whole new level of personal freedom.
By utilizing the above tips, we can create what would be termed an “Emotional Response Kit,” something to draw upon at any given time. One side effect of effectively using this kit is that we begin to know ourselves better and through that process become ever freer from emotional baggage and entrapments. We also learn what’s our own to deal with and what belongs to others.
Finally, one last thing we can learn is that we are in charge of our own emotions, no one else’s. If they’re rude, that’s their problem we now have the ability to respond more maturely rather than react. And just knowing we don’t have to be in charge of or solve others’ emotions is a big relief. We have enough on our own plates to deal with.
So, let’s serve up the best version of ourselves possible and do our part in making the world more hospitable and heartcentered! ●
THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH
LaToya Smith examines love in her 2 part series on Intimacy reimagined. In this second edition she explores marriage and connection at the seven-year mark, highlighting the techniques needs to survive and thrive in your relationship.
Written by LATOYA SMITH
LaToya is the founder of Eros Heart Coaching, where she creates inclusive, transformative spaces that guide individuals and couples toward deeper self-awareness, passion, and authentic connection. Driven by a profound belief in the power of self-discovery, she helps people ignite their truest desires unlocking lasting joy, pleasure, and overall wellness.
“W
hat happened to you wearing that red sexy satin teddy to bed? Why are you wearing those holes in your boxers like a moth just chewed them up? We don’t go out anymore; we just stay stuck in the house. When was the last time you paid me a compliment? Give me some I want some. When was the last time you gave me…?”
Does any of this sound familiar? LOL.
For couples that have been together 7+ years, redefining intimacy is a MUST! There are a lot of factors that can cause couples to become disconnected in their relationships. Barriers like health issues, emotional trauma, lack of awareness, and lack of sensations can hinder pleasure, but awareness and effort can lead to breakthroughs.
Around this time in long-term relationships, people begin to feel restless, dissatisfied, complacent, or evolving and ready or tempted to make a change. It’s not just about romantic relationships either: you may want a new car, a career, to upgrade your home, and other personal commitments. It’s just a natural progression of renewal. It happens because of:
• routine fatigue when things become predictable or monotonous and boring,
• unmet needs, whether emotional, physical, or intellectual, that you feel are neglected,
• transitions that occur in life, e.g., career changes, identity shifts, aging, parenting, and even the empty nest scenario, or
• unresolved issues that are ignored and swept under the rug for so long that they’ve caused a wedge in the relationship when they resurface.
When beloveds take the time to communicate and rediscover where they are now, they can move the needle for a new and fresh perspective and begin to heal old wounds.
Here are a few things to consider when navigating the 7-year itch to break through the cycle that keeps couples bound in a loop of complacency.
Check-ins: Communicate, Capacity, and Connection Agreements
• Reflection Prompt: Before you begin, take a breath togeth-
Time and commitment helps those survive the dreaded seven-year itch.
er. Ask yourselves: “How can I show up for you this week in a way that makes you feel loved, supported, and seen?”
Let this be a moment of presence not performance. A space to honor your connection, not just your commitments.
• I encourage couples to create space for weekly check-ins intentional moments to keep communication flowing and deepen understanding of each other’s needs and desires. With the whirlwind of business travel, board meetings, kid activities, and daily obligations, it’s easy to feel like two ships passing in the night.
• Communication: Ask your beloved, “What are we doing well?” and “What can we do better?”
These questions open the door to reflection and growth.
• Capacity: Each partner shares their needs or requests. Then, each responds with their current capacity to meet those needs. If one isn’t able to fulfill a request at that moment, this becomes an opportunity for a gentle conversation about when they might be able to. This practice fosters safety, visibility, and emotional presence.
• Connection: When it’s time to connect, you’ve already communicated your needs and assessed your capacity. Now, you can show up fully present, engaged, and attuned to one another.
Reflective Prompts
Acknowledge that the relationship got stale
• Be calm about it and give yourselves grace and space to feel all the emotions you have about the relationship.
• Do this without judgment because it doesn’t mean the relationship is over. Stop tripping!
Ask questions of yourself and your beloved
• What am I/are you feeling? Why now?
• Am I/you avoiding something difficult?
• What do I/you want that I am/you are not getting?
• What’s in the way?
• What are you anticipating or projecting?
Get curious
• Revisit what brought you pleasure and joy/excitement
• Try something new together and by yourself
• Create some intimacy around shared goals
• Play more. Date again.
Address any issues
• Plan to have the hard conversations. Stop sweeping things under the rug.
• Consider getting individual and couples therapy
• Hire an Intimacy Coach
The Roots of Connection
The root of connection is the foundational elements of how things or people are linked or related physically, emotionally, or conceptually. We’re connected in so many ways and disconnected all at the same time. Isn’t that interesting?
With that said, take a pause this month and grab your journals and answer the following questions. You are welcome to do these questions by yourself and with your beloved. Before you proceed, give yourself permission to be honest with yourself and allow any and all emotions to be present for you and your beloved. Additionally, allow time for good dialogue around the questions. So, please create a safe environment for it. For example, the top of this article involves all five senses when tapping into physical intimacy. Here’s a thought:
Five Senses:
• Sight: choose a safe, nice, and inviting environment
• Sound: play ambient music
• Smell: light a candle or incense
• Savor: have your favorite snack or beverage
• Touch: wear soft, flexible, and comfy clothing or nothing at all (LOL)
Questions:
• What agreements have you created around intimacy?
• What do you want intimacy to look like for you?
• Do you truly know what you want and do you ask for it?
When you go through the questions and emotions come up, just breathe, take notice, and do the same for your beloved. Don’t judge or assess, just be and just observe. If you feel too charged or emotional and you need support, pause the exercise and seek professional help from a therapist.
Yes, there are growing pains in this process, but healing takes time, and it’s worth it in the end. Just trust the process. You probably have a lot of things swirling in your mind right now good, that’s the point.
Keep being curious, have fun with the above exercise, so you can redefine intimacy. Lastly, read the quote below and allow it to penetrate your soul.
“True intimacy energizes you. It makes you braver in the world. It becomes your recharge, your relief, your reminder that you are not alone in this.” ~ Unknown.
As life shifts, so does intimacy. The deeper you explore, the more profound the connection becomes. ●
Romance plays an important role in keeping a relationship strong.
THE DO’S AND DON’TS OF DATING
Dating in 2025 is one of the hardest things a single person can do. Here are some tips on the do’s and don’ts if you are currently in the dating market.
Hmm dating the art of meeting new people, going on awkward first dates, and trying to figure out if you should kiss someone or just high-five them at the end of the night. As timeless as the search for love itself, dating comes with its own set of rules, many of which remain bafflingly ambiguous. To save you from embarrassing yourself (or worse, ending up on a dating app meme), here’s a light-hearted guide to the do’s and don’ts of dating.
Do: Smile Like You Mean It
If you’re ever in doubt about your facial expressions, just remember: if your date is talking, nod, smile, and occasionally mutter something encouraging like, “Wow, that’s amazing!” or “I totally get that.” But don’t overdo it if you smile so much that it resembles a creepy grin, the date might start to think they’re at a job interview, not dinner. Moderation is key.
Don’t: Talk About Your Ex on the First Date
There’s nothing more exciting than discussing the emotional baggage of past relationships on a first date, right? Wrong. If you’re mentioning your ex in the first 15 minutes of conversation, you might as well just bring them along as your “plus one.” Dating is about moving forward, not rehearsing your breakup story like it’s the Oscar-winning monologue you’ve been practicing in the shower for months. Keep it cool your ex isn’t a guest on this date.
Do: Ask Questions (But Not Too Many)
Showing interest in someone’s life is always appreciated, but ask the wrong questions, and you’ll find yourself knee-deep in awkward territory. “So, tell me about your childhood trauma” isn’t a great conversation starter. Stick to safe territory like hobbies, favorite foods, or “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?” This shows you’re interested without accidentally diving into therapy session territory.
A COLUMN WRITTEN BY
CHATGPT
Written by CY BORG
Don’t: Discuss Politics or Religion (Unless You’re Ready for a Fight)
Sure, it’s important to know if your date shares the same beliefs as you, but perhaps not on the first date when you’ve just met each other. You don’t want the evening to devolve into a debate about healthcare policies or the merits of your religious views. Instead, ease into these conversations after you’ve established some kind of connection. That way, if things go south, you’ve still got the option of pretending to leave because “your dog is sick” (even if you don’t own one).
Do: Be Yourself (But Maybe Shower First)
It’s important to be genuine don’t try to be someone you’re not. That said, maybe avoid showing up to the date in your pajamas or while holding a massive burrito. First impressions count, and while the “I just rolled out of bed” look might be adorable in a rom-com, it’s not quite as charming in real life. Basic hygiene is a must, and while you’re at it, a little cologne or perfume never hurt anyone.
Don’t: Be Overly Forward (Unless You’re in the Movies)
There’s a fine line between showing interest and appearing desperate. Telling someone you’re “soulmates” after the first two hours of conversation is a surefire way to make them run for the hills. Romance should build slowly and naturally, like a good plotline in a movie not as if you’re trying to skip straight to the finale. Play it cool, and give them space to breathe. They’re not running a marathon don’t rush the romance.
Do: Enjoy Yourself
Remember, dating should be fun! It’s about getting to know someone, laughing together, and sharing experiences. Don’t get too caught up in the idea of perfection or whether your date is “the one.”
In the end, dating is a journey, not a destination. And if all else fails, just remember: there’s always pizza and Netflix to fall back on. ●
Cy Borg is an artificial intelligence writer. Using Open A.I., Cy responds to various prompts with fully-qualified answers using the internet and technology.
THE REALITY OF HOSPITALITY
Written by DAVID CHRISTEL
Omari Head had planned on going to law school. Instead, he redirected himself and attained a bachelor’s in hospitality administration at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. You might say that “hospitality” or being of service is in Omari’s blood.
“The spirit of service came a lot from my family. We were always hosting people really being accommodating and demonstrating a level of care, concern, and consideration when engaging with people. My parents always set the scene for there to be a good experience and for folks to have engagement.”
As Omari got older, he realized that our biggest currency is relationships, human capital that we collect. “It’s the folks that can help elevate and motivate you and help you do all sorts of things and vice versa. And sometimes it just starts with something as simple as breaking bread together. And that's something I learned in our household.”
It’s that fundamental life approach that eventually attracted Omari to the hospitality industry. His older brother, who worked for a hotel, shared with him the ups and downs of working in hospitality. He encouraged Omari to pursue higher education because he himself found the lack of education was a hurdle to his own advancement. In school, Omari’s initial thought was to be a regional vice president for vacation ownership companies, and then potentially go back to law school. From there, the plan was to ascend to senior vice president or chief labor relations officer, which is where I wanted to really engage and focus his time. As he got older, he went into operations.
“I had great work experience while I was an undergrad. I had great mentors. All of that really confirmed what I wanted to do in the hospitality space. It confirmed I wanted to be a hotel owner, to do hospitality in a different fashion. It confirmed that I wanted to do operations, but that I wanted to learn everything from the ground up. I really wanted to elevate the industry.”
Omari set his sights on attending law school. That would have set him up perfectly for dealing with labor relations and human resources. Instead, he gained a larger perspective of the hospitality industry, wherein he began to understand all the different intersections within hospitality, specifically the hotel arena.
“The hotel space is very unique and complex. It's an operating business on real estate and a franchise model for the most part. Those are three different levels of consultancy, three different levels of
Omari Head works as a hotel broker for those who are seeking hotel ownership.
competency. People may be franchise experts, but they may or may not know real estate. The folks in real estate may or may not know the hotel business. I had to know all three, so my having experience in the hotel, consulting, and operations worlds has given me the ability to effectively execute in the hospitality industry.”
As Omari says, the hotel/hospitality industry is complex. He explained that knowing every aspect of the industry is now key for hospitality professionals. They need to understand nontraditional skills beyond just hotels, restaurants, or convention centers. Franchising, food and beverage, supply chain they all fit within the model of knowing all the components and players intersecting within the hospitality industry.
That then leads to Omari’s other focus: leadership. “The big piece of my being a leader in the industry is being a servant leader. I’m focused on growing and developing the talents of staff members. I want to make sure people are in the best possible positions for whatever role they are working in or toward. Together, we’re then poised to execute the master vision.”
Ensuring staff members feel fully supported is of prime
importance to Omari. As he says, his goal is “to develop you up.” He looks for how he can sow seeds that encourage people upward, that help them envision, create, and execute new visions.
One thing he’s cognizant of is that as a leader, it’s not all about him.
“You can’t want to hold somebody down to keep propping yourself up. You can’t be afraid to let somebody else shine, or to share what you know. I would rather put something out in the world and hope that something good comes of it. Life isn’t a transactional format. If that’s your perspective, then you can end up disappointed because not everyone shares the same perspective and agenda.”
In 2024, Omari had the opportunity to take on leadership of the Marriott-Sorenson Center for Hospitality Leadership at Howard University. This gives him the chance to work with the next generation, as well as to be innovative and connect with people throughout the hospitality industry.
“The great thing about Howard University is that there’s great talent here. And these students are getting their degrees in various things. I have a student pursuing their degree in interior design,
finance, and marketing. There are JD, MBA students, and a PhD student. They’re all interested in the intersection of their degrees and hospitality, in addition to operations. They may inquire, ‘Well, how do I become director of technology? How do I become the director of finance at the Ritz-Carlton? How do I become an asset manager for a REIT?’”
Omari explains that the university program has put in place different strategies and resources to help students get to their desired destination. Some of those things could be professional association memberships. It could be certifications, coaching, and mentorship, and all the things needed to really help students advance.
Something else students are being made aware of is the fact that jobs in the hospitality industry that existed fifteen years ago may no longer exist, and what exists now may disappear in the next five years as innovations and advances in technology increase the speed of change within the industry.
“Everything is moving pretty quickly, so the easier you can adapt, or, more importantly, forecast and or create change, the better off you’ll be. The real skill set moving forward is being able to participate at that level. The hospitality industry has gone through a lot of changes, and it will continue to change. There are still some core pieces of taking care of people and now, but expectations have changed, and those entering the industry need to be as flexible and adaptable as possible.”
Students are realizing that the complexity of the industry requires their involvement in as many of its aspects as possible. Right now, the center's content is centered around professional development, resume skills, interview coaching, professional certification achievement, and then industry association engagement.
“We want students to focus on the power of being secure in whatever skills they’ve acquired, to focus on strategic skill acquisition and sharpening those skills, so that they have the confidence needed out in the field. Invest in yourself and build your knowledge base. Innovate and reinvent. Be in tune with what’s going on around you and the industry and learn how to evolve.” ●
Barbara Arnold Massey
Hotel ownership is an untapped market for those looking for strong assets.
DIVINE 9 THE
BRIGADIER GENERAL JEFF WATKINS
Brigadier General Jeff Watkins, class of 1985 holds the position of Director of the Joint Staff, Ohio National Guard. The Ohio National Guard serves the Citizens of Ohio and America by fulfilling its state and federal military role of providing public safety, when ordered by the Governor. It also serves as an operational force to support federal missions as determined by the President.
The Ohio National Guard consists of the Ohio Army National Guard, Ohio Air National Guard, Ohio Military Reserve, and Ohio Naval Militia,
Get to know people who are making a difference in their organizations and in their careers.
By Bilal S. Akram
totaling more than 17,000 personnel. BG Watkins began his military career when he enlisted as a Decontamination Specialist in January of 1986. He received his commission as an Chemical Officer from the Ohio Military Academy in 1994. His assignments include Chief of the Joint Staff, Ohio National Guard, Commander, 73rd Troop Command, J3 Director of Joint Operations, Brigade and Battalion Executive Officer, G1 Mobilization Officer, Commander, 52nd Civil Support Team, and Deputy Inspector General. BG Watkins holds a Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice; concentration on Juvenile Justice from The Kent State University, Master in Public Administration; from the Keller School of Business, and a Master of Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College.
KI KIK B. JONES
Ki Kik B. Jones a native of Pittsburg, PA. She started her career in radio at the legendary 106 WAMO station in Pittsburgh in 1997. She has since worked in Baltimore for 92Q Jams, and for stations in New York City and Washington D.C. Ki Ki has also done Network reporting for Sirius XM, WBAL radio, iHeart Media and CBS Radio.
Ki Ki returned to Pittsburgh in 2016 to work part-time for WAMO 100 and then 107.3 The Beat before officially retiring from radio in 2020. She then launched her social media management and PR firm, Nice 2 Media Marketing & Promotions, LLC.
Ki Ki returned to work full-time in 2022 for WAMO 107.3 and Audacy station to host afternoons and was promoted to Assistant Program Director.
She is also the DEI ambassador for Audacy Pittsburgh cluster; working hard to bring special projects and activities that encourage inclusivity and diversity.
She is a very proud and active member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated and holds a Degree in Business Management from
ANTHONY P. HARRIS, JR.
Anthony P. Harris, Jr. has over twenty years of experience as a Fairfax County Public Schools educator, primarily serving at the middle school level. Harris has served as the proud principal of Robert Frost Middle School for eight years with a focus on school culture and climate, academic excellence, community engagement and professional development.
In his second year as principal, Mr. Harris was honored with Fairfax County Public Schools' 2020 Outstanding New Principal award.
Harris has served in the role of president of the Middle School Principals' Association for FCPS. He also served as the Southeast Regional Representative for the national board of the National Alliance of Black School Educators (NABSE) from 2022-2024 and was the President of the Fairfax Alliance of Black School Educators (FABSE) from 2020-2022.
In addition, Harris served four years as a co-facilitator for the county's Principal Pool leadership development cohort, as he supported aspiring leaders for the first year of their principalship. Harris continues to serve NABSE as a member of the Administration Commission planning team.
Harris holds a Bachelor of Science in Marketing Education with a Minor in Business from Virginia Tech and a Master's in Education Leadership from George Mason University.
the University of Phoenix. Ki Ki is married to Treven A. Jones and they have one son, Vaughn, who works for Disney Cruise lines and lives in Hyattsville, Maryland.
Harris was initiated and is currently a brother of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated via the Pi Upsilon Lambda Chapter in Largo, Maryland is a member of the 100 Black Men of Prince George's County.
BOOKREVIEW
Jeff Washington’s recent project, Sweet Mama.
RICH IS GOOD, WEALTHY IS BETTER
In a world obsessed with money, Dr. Willie Jolley details why it is better to be wealthy. His latest books provides the blueprint to unlocking happiness and peace in a world of greed and cruelty.
Most people say they want to be wealthy, but studies show that the majority of those people don’t know how to achieve that goal. I want to help you in that effort!
After 2 decades of hosting The Willie Jolley Wealthy Ways Show on Sirius XM Radio and growing the show from zero ratings to the #1 show for self-help, I’m excited to announce my new book, Rich Is Good, Wealthy Is Better!
This book is the result of my interviewing some of the greatest wealth creators on the planet. People like Bill Marriott, David Rubenstein, David Steward, Ted Leonsis, Bob Johnson, Sheila Johnson, Steve Case, Les Brown, and other billionaires and multi-millionaires,
Many people are familiar with the iconic book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, which has produced more millionaires than any other book, except perhaps the Bible. This book could be thought of as the sequel to that book! Rich is Good, Wealthy Is Better states that it is good to become rich, but encourages people not to stop at getting rich, but to keep going to become wealthy.
Rich Is Good, Wealthy Is Better has two distinct groups it focuses on. First are all the people who say they want to be wealthy, but don’t know the difference between being rich and being wealthy. They spend money on items that make them look rich but are really making them poorer!
The second group this book focuses on are people who have worked hard all their lives - scraped, saved, and sacrificed to create a comfortable nest egg, and now worry their children will treat their money like a lottery win.
One man said his greatest fear is that his children will not treat his money like he treated it! He said, “I need help educating my children about how to keep and grow my nest egg and not squander it!”
This book is a tool to educate family members about growing the wealth that they have been blessed with by their parents.
The ceiling of one generation should be the floor for the subsequent
generation. Yet to maintain and grow wealth, it must be taught! This book is the answer to that problem.
A centerpiece of the book is the “five types of wealth”:
1. Financial wealth
2. Health wealth
3. Relationship wealth
4. Reputational wealth
5. Intellectual capital wealth.
I also share the fact that not everyone will become rich, but anyone willing to be disciplined and determined can create wealth!
This book tells you how others have done it and how you can do it too.
This is a book that every household needs to own, and everyone in the family needs to read!
Put it on the kitchen table. Read it together. Teach it to your kids. Build wealth that lasts. ●
BOOK REVIEW
FASHION
Written
by LARON HARLEM
Bradley Candie styled by BRAD THE STYLIST
photo by D LYFE PHOTO
Brian G entire wardrobe,, BALLY photo,,,, D LYFE PHOTO
DALE
bowtie,,,,STYLED BY DECARLO
sweat shirt. POLO RALPH LAUREN
photo by D LYFE PHOTO
LaRon Stylist accessories
STYLED BY DECARLO
photo by BG PROMOTIONS INC
