THE SARDINE – Issue 3

A Good Idea At The Time Doug woke up at three in the morning. I knew he was awake because he said out loud “I’m awake.” That was nice of him. When you’re sharing a room it’s always good to know when your roommate is awake, even if you happen to be in the middle of the best dream you’ve ever had. Very courteous of Doug to just put it out there like that.

Thanks Doug. As soon as I realized Doug was awake I was hit by a horrible memory. It was of the last thing I did last night before I went to sleep. It was of a text message I sent to the girl I love but who doesn’t love me. I was a bit drunk when I sent it. It had seemed like a good idea at the time but now it felt like the worst mistake of my life. Worse than the time I put shaving cream on my toothbrush even. I was awake too now. Very awake. I had to escape myself so I suggested to Doug that we should go to the contest site and see if there was any swell. So we did. We got to the contest site in the dark and two cars were parked in the designated surfer parking spots. They were parked in front of photos of Kolohe Andino and Brett Simpson. “Kolohe Andino and Brett Simpson must be here,” said Doug. We walked along the path until we reached the main scaffolding. Just as we arrived Damien Hardman made the call that there would be a 12 o’clock call looking at a possible 2 o’clock call. That seemed like a lot of calls. I hoped he had a good phone plan. Doug and I paddled out and surfed with Kolohe Andino and Brett Simpson and Pancho Sullivan and Toby Martin. The waves were tiny but the wind was offshore and the sun was beginning to peek over the dunes. It was a beautiful morning and the talk was positive.

There was a feeling the next few days were going to deliver. But in between waves and random chatter I could taste something like the bitter tang of shaving cream on my tongue. Why Goddamit? Why did I send her that drunken text? Sigh... - VB

DREAM OF SPINNING FLIGHT Since

Wilbur

and

Orville

Wright

launched the first manned glider off the Kill Devil Hills in Kitty Hawk North Carolina man has dreamed of mastering flight. Yesterday Gabriel Medina Orvs

achieved could

what

only

Willsy

have

and

imagined

when he piloted his surf vehicle through a 360 degree rotation over nine yards long to claim the Buondi Best

Move

Expression

Session

at

Supertubos. Not only did he win $1000 he created aviation history by making the turn on a wave smaller than a bee’s wee wee. Who did Gabby beat for the win? Well, none other than Bede Durbidge, Adam Melling, Jadson

Andre,

Heitor

Alves,

Kai

Otton, Owen Wright and a totally on fuego Miguel Pupo, (who everyone in the world loves more than their own family because he’s such a legend).

Well done Gabby Dabby Doo!

SARDINE PIE An interview with Rip Curl Pro Contest Director Damien Hardman

Wanna hear something crazy? In 1988 Damien Hardman won seven WCTs and didn’t win the World Title. Can you believe that? It happened. A few years later he opened a pie shop at Narrabeen that made the best chicken and asparagus pie I’ve ever eaten.

Now he’s the contest director at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal. We got him to pose out on some rocks on sunset for a pensive and moody opener for this interview.

Does anyone still call you “Pies Hardman”?

There’re only two people who call me that. You and Ridgway. Thank God that never stuck. Thank God you guys don’t do commentary anymore.

with a pencil so you can rub it out and start again at any time (laughs). Nah, Saturday could be the best day of the waiting period and it’s looking like Monday could be quite good as well.

There’s another swell coming Wednesday too I hear.

The biggest swell of the waiting period is coming but it’s got really bad weather and shitty winds. Best case scenario would be to get it all done by Monday afternoon. But that’s provided we get three full days between now and then. But we’ll play it by ear and keep an eye on things and make the calls when we need to.

How’s the bank?

Do you still have the recipe for Bank-wise it’s good. I think the chicken and asparagus pies? it’s good more often than not in I never had the recipe. It was Peniche but what you’re really my Mum’s. I was just riding her waiting for is the perfect wind, tide and swell. The usual stuff. coat tails.

So how’s the swell looking for the next few days?

It’s looking like a very flexible forecast. It’s a forecast drawn

How much influence will Kelly, Mick, John John and Parko have on the call?

None. Because they very rarely turn

up for the call anyway. Generally speaking it will be Kieren Perrow who will representing the surfers. The only time the other guys have something to say is if they’re in the first heat and the surf is shit.

Have you ever dropped your World Titles into a discussion about the call? For example: “Well I’ve got two World Titles and I say you’re paddling out.”

No because the guys would say something like, “You won those Titles in the dark ages you wanker.”

What’s the best part about being a contest director?

Getting to surf on the lay days when the surf is still ok. I don’t mind getting up early either. I used to get up before dark when I had the pie shop. My goal? To bake thee a fine pastry.

Is there any extra pressure on your position considering this is such a crux event for the World Championship?

Not at all. For me the job is to pick the best four days in a ten day window and hopefully give the surfers the best waves and conditions possible. What’s going on in the ratings is irrelevant. – VB

DOUG This is Doug. Doug lives to get radical. Even when there is no surf in Portugal he manages to find tubes made of surfboards. Doug doesn’t watch TV. He goes to the beach and picks up rubbish. Have you noticed how much trash is on the beach lately? Doesn’t matter what country you live in, there’s too much rubbish in the water and on the beaches. Rip Curl and the Surfrider Foundation did a beach clean-up in Peniche the other day and filled a flatbed truck with over a tonne of rubbish in less than two hours. At one spot. That’s a disgrace. Surfers need to be onto this shit more than anyone.

Join the Surfrider Foundation and pick up some rubbish. Doug picks up rubbish and look how barrelled he’s getting! Go Doug! Live to get radical man.

MICK FANNING’S FIVE FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT PORTUGAL 1. THE SEAFOOD Sol with lemon and some special secret sauce is an unbelievable meal. I’m not the biggest fan of sardines though.

Last time I had a sardine I nearly threw up. Reminds me of the smell Wilko’s room too much.

2. LISBON I love the old parts of the city. The cobblestone alleys and little bars.

You walk through history when you cruise through those parts of town.

3. THE HIGHWAYS Easy to negotiate and the speed limits are incredible.

4. THE WAVES There are so many different waves here it’s crazy. They’re everywhere. Reefs, beachies, ledges. Big waves, small waves, fun waves. There’s something for everyone.

5. TIAGO PIRES The prince is the nicest human ever and he runs this whole country.

Everyone wants to see him do well at this contest. He’s the man.

JOEL PARKINSON’S FIVE FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT PORTUGAL 1. TASCA DEL JOEL Best restaurant in Peniche and not just for the reason you think.

2. SARDINES Bait never tasted this good.

3. SUPERTUBOS D-Bah meets Off The Wall.

4. THE EXCHANGE RATE Finally after 15 years it pays to be Australian.

5. TIAGO PIRES Future President of Portugal and a good human being.

DID YOU KNOW...

The mayor of Peniche doesn’t have

business

cards.

He

walks around with a giant sack full of sardines and should you be lucky enough to meet him he’ll throw his arms in the air and exclaim proudly “Bom Dia, welcome to Peniche!” before sliding you a can of the town’s most famous export. That’s how you win over the people, man. Get some sardines in your game Obama!

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