BOOK - MIDDLE SCHOOL - SELF CONTROL - 01/12/23

Self-Control

Copyright© 2022 Cloud9World™ Corp. Written by Pamela L. Bruening, Ed.D. Illustrated by Norman Smith and Franky Carrillo www.cloud9worlduk.com, info@cloud9worlduk.com Cloud9World™ and all related titles, logos, and characters are registered trademarks of Cloud9World™ Corp. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Published by Cloud9WorldUK Limited, United Kingdom

SELF-CONTROL - Table of Contents

About Self-Control - Page 4

What It Is - Page 6

What It Isn’t - Page 7

Weighing In - Page 8

Reflections - Page 10

Next Steps - Page 11

Create Your Own Ending School Vignettes

The Bench - Page 12

Math Class Dilemma - Page 16

Friends? - Page 20

Create Your Own Ending Work Vignettes

Dream Job - Page 24

Sweet Tooth - Page 26

Taunted - Page 28

Self-Control Challenge - Page 30

Resources - Page 31

About Self-Control

Did you know that the ability to control oneself through willpower, or self-control, is one thing that separates us from most of the animal kingdom? According to Psychology Today, our brains use a lot of energy when they exercise willpower.

Self-control, or the use of willpower, is the ability to refrain from acting impulsively to a stimulus. People with self-control can delay pleasant consequences for a while to meet a longerterm goal. Those NOT exhibiting self-control often have difficulty meeting long-term goals because impulses take them away from the goal at hand.

Why would it matter whether you have self-control? Self-control becomes important in many areas of life. One place self-control is vital is in spending money. Those without self-control in spending are nearly always broke or awfully close to it. Self-control is important regarding your health. If we want to remain healthy longer, exercising and eating healthy food depends on our self-control.

Nearly every employer values self-control in their employees so that their money only pays for those who are completely focused on their work during “on-the-clock” hours.

When we stop to think about it, self-control often dictates decisions and actions, which in turn dictates the outcomes of those actions.

What It Is

Keeping watch over your words and actions.

Self-Control is…

• Like having the “superpower” to say “no” to something not in your best interest.

• Treating yourself with respect by choosing to eat healthy foods, making time to exercise, and making positive decisions for yourself.

• Being your best in every situation.

• A habit that you can develop.

• Keeping watch over your words and actions.

• Overcoming the urge for instant gratification.

• Managing your every move.

• Following through with your actions toward the goals you have set for yourself.

• Treating others with respect by choosing to use kind words, obeying authority, listening before speaking, and making positive decisions that affect your relationships with others.

• Regulating your emotions.

Examples of self-control:

• We demonstrate self-control when we don’t spend money we don’t have in our possession.

• We exercise self-control when we delay immediate gratification to do something we desire very much.

• We use self-control when we do what we know is in our best interests rather than what looks great at the moment.

• We use self-control when we think about what we say and how it may impact others before we allow the words to leave our mouths.

• We demonstrate self-control when we accept the consequences of not studying rather than cheating or copying from someone else.

• We exercise self-control when we don’t respond to hurtful comments with additional hurtful comments.

What It Isn’t

Self-Control isn’t…

• Acting without thinking.

• Saying whatever comes into your mind without thinking.

• Being easily swayed away from goals, values, and priorities.

• Doing want you want to do at the expense of others.

• Acting selfishly by hurting others.

• Caving into instant gratification.

Lack of self-control:

• Yelling out or talking in class without permission.

• Giving in to the impulse to say something inappropriate or hurtful to another.

• Allowing feelings to control your body’s actions.

• Doing something you will regret later.

• Purchasing something you can’t afford.

• Avoiding studying for a test in a subject you dislike.

Acting without thinking.

Weighing In

Now that you know what SELF-CONTROL is and isn’t, let’s weigh in on what is in it for you and the possible consequences for not adopting SELF-CONTROL as a character strength in your own life. While it is always a choice to exhibit any character strength in your life, consequences, both positive and negative, always follow based on your choices.

There are many benefits to adopting self-control as part of the person you want to be. People who exhibit selfcontrol are usually very successful in life. They obey laws and are trustworthy. They make and keep friends because they consistently treat them with kindness. They use self-control as a decision-making lens for everything they do and speak.

They can set and meet their goals in finances, relationships, education, and work. Those with self-control know how to have fun without being disrespectful or rude to others. Those exhibiting self-control are usually well respected and trusted.

There are also negative consequences for people who do not exhibit self-control. Most of these consequences are directly related to the area in which the selfcontrol is lacking. For example, a natural consequence of lacking the self-control to study for a test is a poor grade.

Other negative consequences may take more time to appear, but those who lack self-control often find it difficult to make and keep positive relationships, be trusted to do business with others, and be trusted in higher-level job positions. Lack of self-control equates to irresponsibility and lack of consistency.

As you “weigh in” to decide if self-control is important to you in accomplishing your goals and becoming someone you are proud of, consider people in your life who exhibit self-control. There are also many famous people and athletes who have exhibited self-control, a probable reason many of them have reached fame. Search them out to learn more about them and their lives and how their selfcontrol has impacted their lives, their careers, and the lives of many others.

Reflections

Many people describe selfcontrol as an area of weakness when they lack it and struggle with setting and attaining goals or sticking with started projects. Self-control is certainly related to some of these struggles; however, there are some ways you can increase your self-control and improve your willpower and ability to reach your goals.

Self-control is an important factor in the ability to attain goals. Most people associate willpower with self-control and goal attainment. While, at first, it may be difficult to resist temptations, avoid undesired behaviors, and delay gratification, self-control is improved with consistent practice over time. In the short term, however, willpower is often limited. Willpower is easily depleted when you focus all your energy on one goal and have trouble moving on to another goal . Self-control is like a muscle in that the more it is exercised, the more it strengthens. At the same time, your willpower to resist temptations and delay gratification will also increase.

While willpower plays an important part in exercising selfcontrol, motivation increases your ability to maintain selfcontrol for longer periods of time and attain goals .

Setting a clear goal and monitoring what you do (your behaviours) toward reaching that goal on a regular basis are also important to successful goal attainment. Clear goal setting and frequent progress monitoring work with willpower to increase motivation toward attaining goals.

Next Steps

To develop self-control, you must decide who you want to be and how you might want others to view you. Start by setting short-term goals and practice self-control in meeting those goals. Small wins with self-control will enable you to practice self-control with long-term goals as well. While gaining complete self-control in every area of your life is a life-long process, the earlier you are able to start, the further you will go with regard to meeting your goals.

Create Your Own Ending School Vignettes

The Bench

It was a hot and sunny day when Tamisha’s biology class took a field trip to the local zoo. They had a long bus ride, and the scorching heat felt unbearable as buses from several local middle schools unloaded students for this habitat observation experience. Once they arrived at the zoo, the oppressive heat and humidity seemed to permeate every square inch of the entire place. Tamisha and her friend, Robyn, headed up to observe the polar bears in their tundra habitat. They hoped they could find a shady area to complete their hour-long observation.

The tundra habitat where the polar bears lived had several shaded areas, but it seemed that other kids had the same idea. All of the benches in the shade were full of kids from other schools. Robyn looked at Tamisha in horror.

“It’s so hot, I can’t stand in the sun for an hour! Plus, these dark blue tee shirts our school gave us to wear make it even hotter in the sun. What are we going to do?” she asked. Tamisha held up a bottle of sunscreen. “Here, put some on,” she said. “Let’s walk around the habitat for a little while. They all have to move at some point to complete their observations. We will just position ourselves to take their spots when they get up. It won’t be that bad, I promise!”

Robyn nodded her head and put some sunscreen on her face and arms. The two girls strolled around the perimeter of the habitat and made their observations. They had several things to describe and data to collect, and they were able to do it easily because they were moving. Tamisha looked her observation sheet over and noticed that they had completed the entire thing.

Just then, two girls from their neighbouring school left the seats on the bench just a few feet away to walk around and see the rest of the habitat. Robyn and Tamisha quickly slid into their seats and enjoyed the shade while they looked over their observation sheets.

Just when they got comfortable, the two girls returned to claim their seats.

“Give us our bench back,” one of the girls said. Tamisha looked up to see two very tall girls standing over them with their hands on their hips. “We were there first,” she continued.

“You’ve been gone for 5 minutes,” Robyn shouted back. “What makes you think you own this bench?”

“It’s our bench,” the girl shouted, getting closer to Robyn. “We were there first!”

Robyn stood up quickly and angrily, so she was nose-to-nose with the other girl. Both girls stood there, frozen, staring at each other. It was obvious they were both ready to explode.

Tamisha stepped very quietly behind Robyn and gently put her hand on Robyn’s shoulder. “It’s just a bench, Robyn, so not worth it. Let’s head back to the picnic area, lunch is going to start soon,” Tamisha said. Robyn stood there, still frozen. So did the other girl. “Come on, let’s go,” she said one last time.

Tamisha was shaking. Robyn finally started to back away. She walked over to the bench next to Tamisha and started gathering her bag and clipboard. They started to walk away.

“We will see you outside the picnic area by the buses,” the girl said. Robyn turned around one last time and stared her down. As the girls walked away from the tundra habitat, Tamisha was frightened.

“You’re not going to fight that girl, are you?” she asked Robyn. Robyn shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t want to fight, but I can’t sit there and let her treat us like this either,” she said. “She made me so mad!”

If you were Tamisha and Robyn, what would you do?

Maths Class Dilemma

Spencer and Roy were walking together from lunch to their maths class. Spencer had a strong dislike for maths. He had a hard time with numbers and often got frustrated and angry. Because of this, the teacher, Mr. Rivers, had him sit in the front row so he could help him when needed. Spencer got in trouble in maths class at least once a week, and today, he wasn’t very enthusiastic about going.

“Why do we have to take maths, anyways,” Spencer asked Roy. “I mean, when will I ever need to know how to figure out the circumference of a circle?”

“Friday night when I come to your house, and I eat all your pizza,” Roy answered, giving Spencer a friendly nudge in the arm. “Come on, it’s not that bad. Do you want me to ask Mr. Rivers if you can sit next to me, and I can help you?”

“What, so you can get in trouble, too?”

Spencer said. “I think I would just feel better if I could get one day off from the stress of that class. It makes my brain hurt.”

Roy and Spencer walked through the door from the building into the courtyard and their friend Yadin joined them.

“Hey, what is up,” Yadin said when he saw them.

“A bunch of kids are sneaking out and going down to the convenience store to get a drink and then go to the park. I want to go, but I’m afraid of getting in trouble. My mum would be so mad.”

“It would get us out of maths class,” Spencer said, smirking at Roy.

“No way, Spencer,” Roy replied. “I’ve been working really hard and finally got my grade up to a B in that class. If I miss just one class, my grade will slip. Besides, that’s not going to solve your problems either.”

“It’s not that big a deal,” Yadin said. “Sam says he does it all the time and never gets caught.

He slips out that gate over there, and nobody notices. Then he goes and hangs out at the park and comes back to get on the bus, and no one has ever noticed.”

“Great, now we are taking advice from Sam? Didn’t he just almost get kicked out of school because he vandalised the bathroom?” Roy said, exasperated.

“But the point is, he didn’t get kicked out,” Spencer said.

“Come on, Roy, don’t be such a goody-two-shoes. Who cares if you get a B in maths or not?”

“I care, I have studied twice as hard and stayed up doing maths homework until after midnight most nights! Plus, I want to go to that new school where you have to apply to get in. You guys just don’t get it, do you?”

Just then, Savannah walked up to Yadin. She was the girl Roy had a crush on.

“Yadin, you are coming?” Savannah asked, nodding toward the gate where the group of kids would sneak out. Yadin nodded his head yes. “We will wait for you down the block,” she said, then noticed Roy and Spencer standing there.

She flashed Roy a smile and said, “Oh hey, Roy,” and his insides melted.

Yadin turned to Roy, “Have you had a change of heart?” and he and Spencer giggled at each other.

What would you do if you were Yadin, Roy, or Spencer?

Create your own ending to this story.

Friends?

As they waited in line to buy movie tickets, Lucas and Juan chatted about the school day. “Did you see that maths homework?” Juan asked Lucas. Lucas groaned in return. It was a long assignment, especially for the weekend. Lucas and Juan heard loud voices behind them and turned to look. It was two kids from their class, Samuel and Isaac. They were making a lot of noise, and Lucas and Juan could tell everyone waiting in line was uncomfortable.

“Lucas, Juan,” shouted Samuel, as he and Isaac made their way to the front of the line. Lucas and Juan tried to shrink where they stood, but it was too late, they had been spotted. Samuel and Isaac clumsily pushed their way through the line, pushing people as they went. They tried to make it look like it was an accident, but it was clear that it wasn’t. When they reached the front of the line, they acted like they had planned to meet Lucas and Juan all along. They didn’t want the other people in line to get mad that they were cutting the line.

“Hey,” Isaac said in a long, loud drawl, slapping Lucas and Juan on the back so hard they both winced.

“Hey,” whispered Juan. an. It wasn’t that Juan and Lucas didn’t like Isaac and Samuel. They were just so loud that it was embarrassing. The last time they went to the movies together, Samuel accidentally knocked into a woman as they were leaving the theatre, and she tripped, dropping her bag. Juan and Lucas stopped to help her and apologise, and before they knew it, Samuel and Isaac were skipping ahead hooting and hollering like they didn’t even care.

To make matters worse, the woman shouted at Juan and Lucas after they helped her. She thought they were the ones who knocked her down.

As they approached the theater, Lucas caught Juan’s eye, and they gave each other a look as if they were saying, “What should we do?”

Isaac and Samuel were following close behind. “I think I want to get some popcorn,” Lucas said. “Juan, come with me, We will split it.”

“Yeah, popcorn sounds good,” Juan said, following Lucas to the concession area. Samuel and Isaac stayed by the theatre door and waited, which was a relief to Lucas and Juan. Once in line, Juan turned to Lucas and said, “What should we do? I don’t know if I want to hang out with them if it’s going to be like last time.”

“I know, me either, but I don’t want to just ditch them; that would be mean,” Lucas replied.

“Like they did to us last time,” Juan said, raising his eyebrow.

“Let’s just give them another chance,” Lucas said. “They’re not trying to be jerks, it’s like they don’t know how to act. Maybe we can get them to calm down a little.”

“I did have fun last time,” Juan said. “Until disaster struck.”

Lucas felt someone tapping on his shoulder. It was Isaac. He started to dance wildly in the middle of the line, which seemed to irritate some of the other customers.

“Be cool, Isaac,” Juan told him. Isaac stopped and looked around. He noticed that other people were giving him dirty looks. He stopped and looked at the floor as Samuel bopped over, bumping into people as he cut the line again.

“Isaac let’s get in there and save some seats,” Samuel said. Then he looked at Juan and Lucas, “We are going to get in

there first and save you guys seats in the front section. Here,” he continued, “get us a soda while you’re at it.” Samuel handed Lucas five dollars and started to walk away with Isaac, but Juan interrupted.

“Wait,” he said. “OK, so here’s the thing...”

If you were Lucas and Juan, what would you do?

Create your own ending to this story.

Create Your Own Ending Work Vignettes Dream Job

Ethan couldn’t wait to go to work today. It was the first day of working at the video game store—his dream job. Being an avid gamer, Ethan could think of no better place to work than at the game store. He knew he would do well with his vast knowledge of different games, genres, and systems. After arriving at the store, Ethan looked around. The walls were covered in shelving holding video games. There were bright promotional cutouts and posters all around the store, and there were three gaming stations attached to big-screen TVs where customers could try out the latest releases.

As Ethan watched a customer play the newest racing game, he was called over by the store manager. “Hey Ethan, welcome to the team,” his manager said.

“Thank you. I’m super excited to start here. Gaming is sort of my thing,” Ethan said.

“Well, you’re among friends. I would say that we all feel the same way,” the manager said, referring to the other employees who worked there.

“So where should I start? Helping with game demos? Organising a tournament for customers?” Ethan said excitedly.

“Woah there, I know you’re excited, but we have a different job for you to start with,” his manager said. The manager handed Ethan a long list and went on to explain that Ethan would be starting off by finding the games on the list and marking them as “on-sale”.

Ethan looked at the list and saw that there were around a hundred titles to be marked down. Ethan looked longingly at the gaming stations in the store, wishing that he could be demoing a game for a customer.

Ethan knew that he had just started the job, but it was going to be hard to do such tedious work with his passion all around him. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to resist the temptation to play the games rather than do the work assigned.

Create your own ending to this story.

Sweet Tooth

Ever since Jenny was little, her family and friends would poke fun at her having a sweet tooth. Jenny had tried controlling her sweet tooth and making healthier choices but never made much progress. She loved sweets, especially anything chocolate, and was knowledgeable about the varieties available and even how they were made. No one was surprised when Jenny started a job at a sweet store in the local mall.

As Jenny arrived for her first day of work, she was met by the manager, Hailey. “Hi Jenny, excited to start your first day?” Hailey asked with a smile.

“Hello, yes absolutely,” Jenny replied.

As Hailey took Jenny behind the counter, her eyes took in all the treats the store offered . There were sour gummies, jellybeans of all colours, chocolate-covered pretzels, chocolate truffles, and so much more. Hailey explained proper procedure for handling some of the candy: using gloves and wax paper.

She explained how to cut, weigh, and price fudge by the pound. Hailey also explained which sweets were to be put out for sampling by the customers. In the middle of her tour, the phone rang in the back, and Hailey excused herself from answering it.

On her way to the back, Hailey invited Jenny to try one of the chocolate-covered potato chips on the sampling plate.

As Jenny waited for her manager to return, Jenny thought about her current nutrition plan. No sweet items were included in the plan that she had decided to start, but she was dying to try one of the chocolate treats.

Create your own ending to this story.

Taunted

Kevin did not want to go to work today. That morning at school, part of Kevin’s trousers got caught on his desk, and a big hole was ripped as he got up to sharpen his pencil. The whole class erupted with laughter, and Kevin never felt so embarrassed.

Now it was time for Kevin to start his shift at the car wash, where he worked with a kid who was in the class when the embarrassing incident occurred. Kevin knew that he would be catching flak for a while, but he still wasn’t looking forward to it. As Kevin arrived at the car wash and checked in, it didn’t take long to start.

“Hey Kevin, hope you are wearing ripproof pants. There are plenty of things to get snagged on at the car wash,” one of the coworkers joked.

“Ha, get your jokes in while you can, guys,” Kevin said, trying to be a good sport.

A few other coworkers who had heard what had happened at school joined in with their smart remarks, and at first, Kevin tried to just brush it off. The taunting continued, however, and Kevin was starting to feel heated. Kevin got along with his coworkers normally, and he knew they were just giving him a hard time. He was feeling embarrassed again, though, and angry.

It was taking everything he had not to lash out with inappropriate language.

Create your own ending to this story.

Self-Control Challenge

Are

Choose from one of these challenges:

• Keep a daily anecdotal record of what you do and what the response of others is to your exhibition of self-control. At the end of one week, prepare a personal reflection about the experience to share with the class or small group.

• Decide on one thing you would like to have better self-control within your life (exercise, food, inappropriate language, etc.). Set a 2-week goal for what you want to accomplish. Record your progress every day for two weeks and note any changes.

• Interview someone you admire for having self-control in a certain area of their life. Create your questions, conduct the interview, and present it to the class, explaining what you learned from the interview.

Resources

Designs Elements’ Credits

- White brick photo created by mrsiraphol - www.freepik.com

- Tear vector created by pikisuperstar - www.freepik.com

- Split vector created by starline - www.freepik.com

- Pen paper photo created by jannoon028 - www.freepik.com

- Happy boy photo created by rawpixel.com - www.freepik.com

- Person-wearing-rainbow-socks-while - Photo by Thoni Huang - www.pexels.com

- Typewriter vector created by macrovector - www.freepik.com

- Light bulb vector created by macrovector - www.freepik.com

- Girl thinking photo created by freepik - www.freepik.com

- Japanese man photo created by cookie_studiowww.freepik.com

Content – Illustrations, Photos and Vectors’ Credits

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Self-Control – Made in Word Art - www.wordart.com

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Self-Control 1 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Self-Control 2 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Self-Control 3 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Futuristic self control concept with glowing low polygonal human head and ship wheel isolated on dark blue background. Modern wire frame mesh design vector illustration stock illustration - Credit: inkoly - From iStock Man experiencing angry emotions and SEMI TRANSPARENT evaluate their emotions from the side stock photo - Credit: galitskaya - From iStock

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Businessman climbing the corporate ladder of success stock photo - Credit: BrianAJackson - From iStock Dieting, Choice, Fruit, Donut, Women stock photo - Credit: sefa ozel - From iStock

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Woman power and girl strength in business achievement, winning and career success with strong businesswoman leader in office raising fists with ambition looking forward to city building background stock photo - Credit: ChinnapongFrom iStock

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Lovely zoo map illustration in flat design stock illustration - Credit: JoyImageFrom iStock

Tired polar bear laying on a rock and relaxing with his bird friend stock illustration - Credit: StrawberryIce - From iStock

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African woman suffering from heat and sweaty dehydration with thermometer and strong sunlight in flat design. stock illustration - Credit: Blueastro - From iStock Teenage boys and girls using different devices like laptop, digital tablet and smart phone for social networking Credit: Antonio_Diaz - From iStock

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Self-Control 4 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Generation conflict. Furious black sisters quarreling, grey studio background stock photo - Credit: Prostock-Studio - From iStock

Beautiful african teenaged girls showing no sign over grey studio background stock photo - Credit: Prostock-Studio - From iStock

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Modern looking student posing in front of his classroom stock photo - Credit: Zurijeta - From iStock Sad student sitting in a classroom stock photo - Credit: Zurijeta - From iStock

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E=mc2 stock photo - Credit: kontrast-fotodesign - From iStock Three high school students in a classroom stock photo - Credit: Zurijeta - From iStock

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Overflowing and flowing on the floor water in the bathroom stock photo - Credit: fox and butterfly - From iStock

Outdoor portrait of beautiful smiling teen female student with backpack looking at camera stock photo - Credit: Valeriy_G - From iStock

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Self-Control 5 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Close-up of a Cinema sign stock photo - Credit: chrisdorney - From iStock New Orleans, USA - Dec 10, 2017: At the ticket booth to the popular Audubon Aquarium of the Americas. People on a queue to purchase tickets stock photoCredit: sfe-co2 - From iStock

Self-Control / Sea Horse

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Cute little boy gets mad angry fighting and shouting expression stock illustratorCredit: Boonyen - From iStock

Confused Afro Guy Has Too Many Questions and No Answer, White Background stock photo - Credit: Prostock-Studio - From iStock

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Cinema and entertainment. Young man buying popcorn from saleswoman in movie theater lobby, closeup of hands stock photo - Credit: Prostock-StudioFrom iStock

Photo of indignant serious man raises eyebrows, has serious expression, listens information with thoughtful look stock photo - Credit: SementsovaLesia - From iStock

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Self-Control 6 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Gamestop video games store entrance facade in strip mall with sign, photographed in San Jose, California on boxing day stock photo - Credit: NicolasMcComber - From iStock

Dvd stock photo - Credit: BBuilder - From iStock

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Self-Control 7 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Old candy store. Colorful candies in jars. Old fashioned retro style stock photoCredit: Turker Minaz - From iStock

New York City: A package of Original Fruit Skittles in the supermarket, fruitflavoured candies produced and marketed by the William Wrigley Jr. Company. stock photo - Credit: Antonio Gravante - From iStock

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Self-Control 8 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Worker washing red car with sponge on a car wash stock photo - Credit: romaset - From iStock

O Closeup image of two people shaking hands stock photo - Credit: Farknot_ Architect - From iStock

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Self-Control 9 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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Self-Control 10 – Illustrated by Franky Carrillo

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