Balanced Family Fall 2016 by Cleveland Jewish Publication Company

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FAMILY

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FALL ISSUE | 2016

HEALTH | WELLNESS | PARENTING | LIVING

Teaching

& technology

How do local learning institutions handle smartphone use among students – and are they prepared for ‘Pokémon Go’?

INSIDE: KIDS AND POLITICS 12 | ASSISTED LIVING STRATEGIES 20 | SAVING FORbalancedmag.com COLLEGE 22 6 | BALANCEDFAMILY | SPRING 2015

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BALANCEDKIDS

Editor’s note

CLASSROOM QUANDARIES

Editor Michael C. Butz wonders how differently his schooling might’ve been had smartphones existed at the time

Feature story

TEACHING & TECHNOLOGY

While some may worry that “Pokémon Go” will create distractions at the outset of a new school year, educators say – like with most technology in the classroom – it’s all about striking the right balance

Closing column

38 THE POWER OF POSITIVE

Columnist Beth Kuhel explains how embracing a new narrative when encountering struggle can lead you to be happier and stronger

On the cover: Solon residents Rebecca Lockman and Ethan Abraham check their phones while at the Solon branch of the Cuyahoga County Public Library. Rebecca and Ethan are both 14 years old and entering ninth grade at Solon High School. Cover photo and photo below by Michael C. Butz.

SCHOOL CHOICE

STATE OF THE ARTS

When changing schools, parents should home in on the details and be mindful of helping their children make the transition Options abound for families looking to supplement children’s arts education – or for those in need of options due to lack of school arts funding

12 POLITICAL DISCOURSE

Parents – not politicians – should set the example when it comes to children discussing and absorbing the 2016 election cycle

BALANCEDADULTS 16 DOG GONE

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22 MATRICULATION MONEY

‘Early and often’ best describes how parents should be saving for their child’s college education

BALANCEDBODY&MIND

32 SCHOOL STRESSORS

Kids can find school stressful – whether due to bullies, assignments or assimilating after summer break – but parents can help them manage

36 DIGESTIVE DISAMBIGUATION The differences among food allergies, intolerances and sensitivities are important in determining how best to treat them

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FALL 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 3

BALANCED

FAMILYMATTERS FROM EDITOR MICHAEL C. BUTZ

One might consider the summer of “Pokémon Go.” When local news wasn’t covering presidential politics or the Olympics, it seemed to be focusing on this new augmented reality game that, in July, reportedly had more than 21 million daily active users, making it the biggest mobile game in U.S. history. I’d contend that visits I paid this summer to various Northeast Ohio parks at which packs of four or five kids walking seemingly aimlessly with their noses buried in their phones would support that statistic. Though my childhood of the ‘80s and ’90s was far removed from the days of the oft-recited “I walked to school every day in a foot of snow … uphill … both ways,” it also feels like a far cry from having technology constantly at my fingertips.

While kids today are trying to catch Pikachu on “Pokémon Go” and organize their schedules on their smartphone, my childhood was spent trying to not catch dysentery along the “Oregon Trail” and making sure no folders fell out of my overstuffed Trapper Keeper. Sometimes I’m envious of those for whom technology and social media are second nature, especially given the speed at which technology evolves and plays a role in our everyday lives, but these also come with pitfalls. For instance, cyber bullying didn’t exist, and while TV did its own damage to my generation’s attention span, it’s not as invasive or omnipresent as the device in one’s pocket or purse. With these sorts of divergences in mind, Balanced Family set out to learn both how area schools were preparing for

Editor Michael C. Butz editor@balancedmag.com Art Director Jon Larson

Classroom quandaries

hat would school have been like for me had smartphones existed during my childhood? That’s a daunting question, one I found myself asking as we put together this issue of Balanced Family.

FAMILY Contributing Columnist Beth Kuhel Cleveland Jewish Publication Company President & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein

“Pokémon Go” to enter their hallways during the new school year and how, in general, they balance the reality of smartphone ubiquity in today’s society with the need to focus on educating that same society’s next generation of leaders. Kristen Mott reports on that topic in just one of many back-to-school-themed articles in this issue. Also on the syllabus, so to speak, are stories about saving for college, easing transitions to new schools and handling school-related stress (for both parents and children). So what would my schooling have been like had smartphones existed at the time? Would it have been better? Who’s to say – but one thing for sure is that those teachers who told me and my classmates we couldn’t use a calculator on math tests because we wouldn’t always have one in our pocket as adults would today earn an F for that assessment.

Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Manager of Digital Marketing Rebecca Fellenbaum Digital Content Producer Lillian Messner Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial Kristen Mott Ed Wittenberg Carlo Wolff Custom Publishing Manager Paul Bram Advertising Marcia Bakst Marilyn Evans Ron Greenbaum Andy Isaacs Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Design Jessica Simon Stephen Valentine Business Diane Adams Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Display Advertising 216-342-5204 advertising@balancedmag.com Circulation 216-342-5185 circulation@cjn.org Balanced Family is produced by the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Beachwood, OH 44122. For additional copies, call 216-342-5185. For general questions, call 216-454-8300. FIND US AT FACEBOOK.COM/BALANCEDMAG

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BALANCEDKIDS

School

CHOICE When changing schools, parents should home in on the details and be mindful of helping their children make the transition

By Carlo Wolff

arents of children about to enter a new school should prepare thoroughly, visiting the school in advance and making connections spanning the school district administration and families whose children already go there.

That’s the advice of Deborah Pilarcik, guidance counselor at Hilltop Elementary School in Beachwood, and Tori Cordiano, a clinical psychologist who is associate director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Laurel has campuses in Beachwood and Russell Township. Pilarcik suggests that guidelines vary by the age of the child. For elementary school students, for example, parents should ask how children are placed in homerooms and whether childcare is available. For

6 | BALANCEDFAMILY | FALL 2016

middle school students, asking who helps them prepare for high school – and how – is critical. So are questions about participation in volunteer and community experiences. For high school students, ask whether the school has a curriculum focus, like STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics). Cordiano, who also has a private practice in Beachwood, says preparation for such a change is best accomplished “in small doses” over time. For younger children, in particular, it’s important to

Cordiano

Pilarcik

“give them a clear definition of what’s going to happen in pretty concrete ways.” Parents should arrange to meet the child’s teacher, visit the classroom and see as much of the building as possible, she adds. “It lessens children’s anxiety when they have a picture in their head of what it’s going to look like.” Making contact with a family in the new district that already has a child in school can help, too, Cordiano says. Your child seeing a familiar face on his or her first day, along with

parents knowing other parents who can advise them on, say, buying the right textbook, can ease the transition. Broad guidelines aside, dealing with students’ needs is tricky, suggests Pilarcik. That’s a reflection of the growing internationalism of the student body. For new students, “You do your best to connect them with peers who can understand,” she says, referring to linguistic communication, a growing issue. She noted one teacher

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BALANCEDKIDS asked her third-grade students how many languages and/ or dialects they spoke. The yield: 23 or 24. As a counselor, Pilarcik used that information to help her determine how to involve those students in making the best seating arrangement. “The other tool I’ve become really good friends with is Google Translate; pick any language, type in what you want to say and it’ll translate it to that language,” Pilarcik says. “I’ve actually written a student’s schedule in Hindi.” Getting a feel for the building itself is critical, too. If possible, particularly with younger kids, it’s best to visit the school when class is in session, says Cordiano. The younger the child, the more his or her appreciation for a parental presence.

Starting class at a new school bears similarity to buying a house, and parents may be more excited about the change than their children. That’s OK, says Cordiano. It’s also OK for kids to vent. “Our instinct as parents is to jump in with all of the positive things … and we do that from a very warm and loving place,” Cordiano says. “We need to balance that with allowing them to be mad. If they feel mad, we want to give them space to share that without jumping in to fix it. “I think being positive and realistic is a good guide for parents. You certainly do want to be positive but not to the extent that your child doesn’t feel he or she can’t express frustration or worries.” BF

MOVING INTO NEW SCHOOL DURING SCHOOL YEAR

Pros: Your child is the new kid on the block. May get more attention from peers and staff. Child does not have the summer to think about the new school – or worry about it. Child will have the opportunity to make friends at school prior to summer. Cons: Your child is the new kid on the block. Peers will have formed groups of friends, and depending on your child, it may be difficult to make ones. Academics are in full swing and depending on the academic demands of the schools, your child may feel behind or even “bored” with them.

MOVING INTO NEW SCHOOL DURING SUMMER AND STARTING AT NEW SCHOOL YEAR Pros: Your child is starting out with everyone, creating a level playing field. Hopefully, you have moved in early enough for your child to meet neighborhood peers, join a local pool, play sports or attend camp. Cons: Your child may not get the special attention he or she needs, academically or socially. This will require very good communication with the school. – Deborah Pilarcik

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TO L CK OO BA SCH

BALANCEDKIDS KIDS

State arts of the

Options abound for families looking to supplement children’s arts education – or for those in need of options due to lack of school arts funding

By Carlo Wolff

arents who want more art education for their children than school provides can avail themselves of numerous resources, from local arts centers to state programs to art galleries, even to artists themselves.

If a comprehensive arts education has been hard to find because of cutbacks to funding in your school district, look to the greater community for help, say three women involved in the field. Santina Protopapa is executive director of the Progressive Arts Alliance, a Cleveland nonprofit that aims to integrate art into what it calls project-based learning. MaryBeth Matthews teaches art at John Marshall High School on Cleveland’s West Side. Mary Ann Breisch is executive director of the Valley Arts Center in Chagrin Falls. Protopapa suggests parents think outside the box

8 | BALANCEDFAMILY | FALL 2016

of their community and open their eyes and ears to arts possibilities. Matthews counsels direct engagement with the community, along with integrating art into projects with many other facets. Breisch touts her organization and similar ones like BayArts in Bay Village, the Beck Center for the Arts in Lakewood, and Cuyahoga Arts and Culture, the Cleveland organization that allocates the county cigarette tax funds so critical to support of the arts, because all contribute to the area’s artistic vibrancy. “I think part of the story is being aware on a few different levels,” says Protopapa. “What

Breisch

Matthews

are the opportunities that the big institutions are offering that are really cool? The second is there are all these smaller organizations embedded in the community that are doing lots of interesting things at neighborhood and local levels that are oftentimes free.” The “free” part matters. Cuts in state education funding have hurt. So have testing requirements linked to such federal programs as Common Core and the recently deceased No Child Left Behind that effectively crowded out art, instead elevating the importance of courses in science, technology, engineering and math, or STEM.

Protopapa

What’s available also varies by a municipality’s income and geography. Some school districts in wealthier communities “have the money to afford really nice arts programs,” says Matthews. “Schools that are in more impoverished communities don’t. At impoverished community schools, their emphasis is on the core areas because they’re dependent on raising their scores, so arts get shuffled to the side. “I’ve been in a lot of different schools in the district and when I’ve been strapped for money; I did some grant writing and some of the

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BALANCEDKIDS nonprofits I wrote grants to don’t even exist anymore,” she says. “I’ve had individuals donate money directly to me and my department to use for my students.” “Sometimes arts gets the back burner,” concedes Valley Art Center’s Breisch, citing academic pressure that starts in kindergarten. “What I know is that in high school, because the requirements for graduation and for getting accepted in college are so stringent and narrow, even if students want to take art class, they cannot fit it into their schedule. It’s a very complex soup; the teachers sometimes are offering classes they cannot fill because students cannot fit them into their schedule.” That’s why it matters that a visual arts teacher from Chagrin Falls Intermediate Elementary School also teaches at her center, Breisch says.

ARTS BACK TO FRONT BURNER? Perhaps times are changing. Last December’s enactment of the Every Student Succeeds Act, an educational program that replaces No Child Left Behind, specifies that music and art are essential to a child’s education, giving arts educators hope. “I don’t know how much of all this has been operationalized yet, but it was a very big moment,” Matthews says of the legislation. “One of the cool things is that it actually blatantly says music on it, but also says arts,” and it calls for emphasis on STEAM – science, technology, engineering, arts and math – rather than the artsless STEM. As a region, institutionrich Northeast Ohio already

emphasizes the arts – so much so that Protopapa suggests not limiting yourself to your own community. Think and look wide and deep. Quality arts education opportunities are all around you. “I grew up in the suburbs and the last few years of high school I was at Cleveland Institute of Music,” says Protopapa. “I did percussion ensemble and took private lessons, nothing I had available in the southeast suburbs where I grew up. In terms of the next level of rigor, our high school was so small we didn’t have a percussion ensemble. “For not being New York, Los Angeles or San Francisco, we have a really high community of professional artists here. You can get a fabulous jazz education in Cleveland – in high school. You don’t have to wait for college to experience that level of rigor and professional quality. You could be interested in being a classical musician, a jazz musician, a sculptor, a ballet dancer … people out in the further stretches of our region, I don’t know if they fully understand that.” In Chagrin Falls, the Valley Arts Center makes a point of connecting to the community. According to Breisch, two Chagrin Falls teachers in the center’s instructor pool help students “supplement the experience they have in school with a richer and deeper experience here.” The center serves people from 60 ZIP codes on Cleveland’s East Side and, with help from scholarships, doesn’t turn anyone away. Chagrin Falls parents have requested less standardized testing and more arts education, she says. “There’s recognition that the arts are critical and

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BY THE NUMBERS • •

•

A 2014 draft report on arts education in Ohio covering 2010-13 includes the following data: A 7.3 percent decrease in the number of arts courses taught. Percent decrease greatest for dance and drama/theater. Overall, student enrollment in arts courses decreased by 11.6 percent, with percent of decline smaller between 201112 and 2012-13. School districts reported increases, decreases and no change in student enrollment in arts courses. Decline in enrollment likely driven by factors at local school district level. The percentage of students enrolled decreased in 22 arts courses and increased in five. The courses with the greatest percent decrease in enrollment are the two dance courses, the two theater courses, and General Music. The number of arts courses taught decreased in 24 of 27 titles but increased in ceramics and advanced placement two-dimensional and three-dimensional studio art. The number of arts teachers decreased by 6.3 percent across all arts disciplines. Percent of decline increased in 2013. SOURCE: Ohio Alliance for Arts Education for the Ohio Department of Education

important, but there’s a tension between understanding they’re important and making the time for them, making them a priority in school curricula,” Breisch says. “Maybe it’s a diminishing return on the art experience and some bottomline considerations like funding, federal, state and local dollars. That’s a question in my mind. But the statistics are stunning, when you look to art for the foundation of a whole person.” When it comes to building a foundation, and to building something permanent, Matthews is taking involvement with the community to a new level, integrating arts education with civic pride – and product. Blessed with a principal who gives her the money she needs, Matthews this fall plans to press her class into a project with art at its core. She aims to have her students design laser-cut steel panels for a proposed

entryway for the school of engineering where she teaches at John Marshall. It will be an “awesome” project, she says. “It could be things hanging from the ceiling, it might be an outdoor sculpture,” she says, and it will be designed to reflect the school’s culture. Her students will visit the factory where it’s going to be fabricated, programming their design into a computer numeric control, or CNC, laser cutter. “We’re going to go to the factory, check out the whole process, look at the sheets of steel being cut by the lasers, the engineers and the company will explain how lasers work, how they control that,” she says. “Then my students will come back and create some designs. They’re going to use the engineering design process in a creative form.” What an artful idea. BF

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BALANCEDKIDS

Political

discourse Parents – not politicians – should set the example when it comes to children discussing and absorbing the 2016 election cycle

By Jonah L. Rosenblum

hus far, the 2016 presidential election has featured name-calling and a debate regarding the size of a candidate’s body part – and that was largely during the primaries, with months to go before voters head to the polls Nov. 8.

For parents already struggling to keep Jimmy from calling his little sister Debbie “stupid,” this political season surely hasn’t helped. “This election seems to be a little more aggressive than elections we’ve seen in the past,” says Lisa Ramirez,

a pediatric psychologist at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland. With challenge comes opportunity, however, and Ramirez says there are chances now to teach children how to engage in respectful political discourse

12 | BALANCEDFAMILY | FALL 2016

Berger even during a mostcontentious election season. That’s what Brian Berger, a government teacher at Shaker Heights High School, does in his classroom. He says his role is to help his

Ramirez students learn how to have that discussion. “I really try to stress civility and I really try to enforce that one side is not correct,” Berger says. “You’ve really got to honor

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BALANCEDKIDS each side. Whether you agree or disagree, it’s someone else’s opinion and you can’t force your opinion on (him or her).” Oftentimes, that teaching starts with parents or guardians themselves. “Parents don’t realize how important they are in modeling for kids how to process big feelings and big events,” Ramirez says. When Dad yells across the table about “what’s that idiot done recently,” the children are invariably listening. If a parent senses a political argument getting out of hand, that might be a smart time to table it. The parent can even explain to his or her child why the conversation is being postponed: “We have different views about who should be president. We

both were getting a little angry so we decided to take a break.” “If you find yourself in front of your child and you’re engaging with someone else and it’s not a constructive conversation, I would disengage,” Ramirez says. Parents may also want to temper their tone. If they spend months talking about how Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton or Republican nominee Donald Trump is the devil incarnate – and then that devil incarnate is elected – that can be confusing for younger children. If possible, parents should talk through differing views so their children know both that they exist and that it’s OK to disagree. Respectful difference is not always a part of today’s political culture. Many absorb

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Parents don’t realize how important they are in modeling for kids how to process big feelings and big events. Lisa Ramirez MetroHealth Medical Center politics through TV shows on networks that cater specifically to their views – like FOX News or MSNBC – and read blogs and articles that are very much in line with their thinking. For children and young teenagers, social media is a huge source of oftenopinionated political information. “Your social media feeds tend to be oriented toward and aligned with your values or your social group,” Ramirez says. “Teens tend to be a little more impulsive. They may latch onto something they heard somebody say or one article.” If parents are comfortable, it may be worth changing the channel for a night to see what the other side has to say. That could be a valuable experience for a child. Even if that liberal family is dead set against watching FOX News, or that conservative family can’t stand the thought of MSNBC, it’s at least good to set a positive example for children. Parents can let them know that “I believe this, but some people believe this.” If nothing else, that will help them

when they go to school and encounter the opposition for what may be the very first time. School, in its own right, can be challenging politically. Perhaps a kid is the sole Republican in a liberal class – or vice versa. Berger’s school tends to be more Democratic, for example. (Shaker Heights favored President Barack Obama, a Democrat, by 80 percent over Republican Mitt Romney in 2012.) Making sure the minority feels comfortable is key. “You really want to make sure the voices of the minority, whether it’s the Republican stance or a different stance, gets heard and that they don’t get belittled or ostracized,” Berger says. “You can always learn from someone else’s point of view.” Nor is it simply about protecting the rights of a minority. It’s that learning to disagree is critical in growing up. “You have to have that skill set or else you won’t be successful in the real world,” Berger says. BF Jonah L. Rosenblum is a freelance writer from Cleveland Heights

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Vacationers staying at a hotel or camp while away from home may find it beneficial to make similar arrangements for their pets

Barkley Pet Hotel and Day Spa

By Kristen Mott

acation-going pet owners know the drill: the hotel and flights are booked, passports are up to date and the final itinerary details are falling into place. But what should be done with furry, four-legged friends?

While some may enlist the help of a friend or family member to watch their dog or cat while they’re away, other pet parents are looking for a more secure and personalized option while they’re on vacation. Howard Perlmuter, president and CEO of Beverly Hills Pet Hotels, Inc., opened The Barkley Pet Hotel and Day Spa in Orange about a decade ago for that reason. “I created this concept because I had a personal need for my own peace of mind,” said Perlmuter, who named the pet hotel after his

Golden Retriever, Barkley. “My pets are my children, and I was finding that there wasn’t a place that I felt comfortable watching my family member that would give me that peace of mind. And it wasn’t just a local thing. I felt there was a bigger need as pets become bigger members of the family.” While it may be convenient for a family member or neighbor to pet sit, Perlmuter suggests that pet hotels are often a safer option. “Animals are unpredictable by nature.

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When a family member watches your dog, what happens innately is a lot of them know when the owner is gone, especially when they’re in the same environment, and they want to go look for the owner. Instances of pets running away or trying to get out and look for their owner are significantly higher in those circumstances,” says Perlmuter, who also owns The Barkley in Los Angeles and plans to open two locations in India next year. “At a place like The Barkley, you’re basically getting 24 hours of continuous care in a secured, controlled environment that has specialists who take care of the pets and attend to their personal needs.”

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WHAT TO KNOW Pet parents who are interested in leaving their dog at a pet hotel or resort should begin looking at their options several months before their planned vacation, says Missy Bedwell, co-owner and camp director of Camp Bow Wow in Highland Heights. “That way they can weigh their options about what will work best for their pet,” Bedwell says. One of the aspects pet parents enjoy most about Camp Bow Wow, Bedwell says, is that it’s an open play facility. In addition to overnight boarding, the facility also offers daycare, basic grooming and training classes. “While the dogs board with us, they’re out playing

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BALANCEDADULTS eight to nine hours a day with other dogs. It’s great for our resort parents who are looking for their dogs to have exercise and socialization while they’re here,” Bedwell says. The Barkley also offers four core services: 24-hour overnight care, day camp, a grooming salon and spa, and obedience training. Activities are incorporated into overnight stays as well, such as group play, walks, personalized playtime and even swim sessions in the facility’s indoor pool. It’s also important to consider the requirements of each facility before making a decision, Bedwell says. For instance, at Camp Bow Wow, which also has locations in Bedford Heights, Westlake, Strongsville and Cuyahoga Falls, dogs must pass a temperament test, complete a social interview, be spayed or neutered, and be current on all vaccinations before being allowed to stay at the facility. A minimum or maximum length of stay also should be considered. Says Perlmuter, “We can pretty much take any pet that we need to so long as the pet and the employees are safe. Our No. 1 concern is the health and safety of our pet guests. We’d like to take every client we can, but if for some reason this isn’t a good fit for a pet, then we’ll be honest and say so.” Many people feel anxious leaving their pets in someone else’s care, especially those who are doing so for the first time. To calm clients’ fears, Bedwell gives a complete tour of Camp Bow Wow and goes over a daily schedule.

Individuals also have access to live streams of the facility, which can be viewed on a computer or smartphone, to check in on their pets while they’re away. Doing a trial run before leaving a pet at a facility also can be worthwhile. “We want people to be comfortable and we want our pets to be comfortable,” Perlmuter says. “We offer trial periods that allow you to bring your pet in. The idea is to take baby steps, so you come in for a little bit longer each time.”

IN THE KNOW • • • • • • • •

Questions to ask before choosing a pet boarding facility: How long has the facility been in business? What’s the staff-to-pet ratio? Are there security fences around the building? Does the facility have someone on site at all times? What type of animal care training does the staff receive? Is the facility a member of an association for boarding, daycare, grooming or training? Are dogs separated by age or size? Does the facility have an evacuation plan? SOURCE: The International Boarding and Pet Services Association

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY Safety is of utmost concern when leaving a pet in the care of someone else. For that reason, all of the camp counselors at Camp Bow Wow are certified in First Aid and CPR, and the facility is monitored 24/7. In the event of an emergency, staff will attempt to take the dog to the parents’ personal vet before bringing them to VCA Great Lakes Veterinary Specialists, which is affiliated with Camp Bow Wow. “We always call parents first to let them know what’s going on with their dogs and we get permission from them to go ahead and take them to the vet,” Bedwell explains. “We will transport them to the vet and stay with them while they’re getting any medications or anything else that they need. If they’re healthy enough to return to camp, we will bring them back and they’ll stay with us for the remainder of the time.” The Barkley is located less than a mile from a 24-hour emergency animal clinic should a serious situation arise. Perlmuter

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Camp Bow Wow

says staff members are trained to follow different protocols depending on the emergency. “Certainly the first step in any emergency is identifying it and being there ready and prepared with staff members, and of course client communication is extremely important as well,” he says. “We take every precaution to prevent an emergency in the first place. I think prevention is as important as actually handling the emergency.” With many pet-sitting options to choose from, Perlmuter says it’s key to find a facility and a staff you can trust to care for your furry friend.

“The overwhelming majority of our clients are repeat customers. We’re sort of that second home for them. We like to say the pets that come here enter as guests and leave as our friends,” he says. On top of that, it’s important to find a facility with staff members who are passionate about their jobs, Bedwell says. “We know all of our dogs by name,” she says. “Every dog that comes in, we know who they are, we know about them and their family, and their situation, if they’re nervous or playful. We all love our jobs. We love dogs. That’s why we’re here.” BF

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BALANCEDADULTS

Assistance for assisted living With so many choices facing those searching for the right senior or assisted living facility for a loved one, take the advice of experts on what to look for By Ed Wittenberg

uality of care is the No. 1 factor people should consider when choosing a senior or assisted living facility for their loved one, says Jennifer Nance, vice president of marketing for Kemper House. “Every nursing facility should be licensed by the Ohio Department of Health,” she says. “Check what the latest state survey says. It will tell you how each facility ranks and what kind of care they give.” Chadwick Koke Kemper House is a long-term care facility for Alzheimer’s disease and dementia patients with locations in Highland Heights and Strongsville. When going on a site visit to such a facility, one should look at – and smell – Nance the cleanliness of it, Nance says. “Are there any odors?” she says. “Also ask about staffing ratios of caregivers to residents. You’ll want to find out if they have enough staff to cover the number of residents there.”

20 | BALANCEDFAMILY | FALL 2016

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BALANCEDADULTS Mary Nelson is director of health and wellness at Symphony at Mentor, which serves residents in every stage of dementia. She says people should look for a place that is “homelike and comforting” for that particular resident. “Sometimes if you put someone in an atmosphere that is not like their home, they are frightened,” she says. “Here we have a very homelike atmosphere. We try to give residents an environment that is safe, comforting and nurturing.” Having a sense of freedom is important for residents, Nelson says. At Symphony at Mentor, they can walk “until their heart’s content,” she says. “Our hallways are rectangular, and they never feel like they are trapped,” she says. “We have rails they can hang onto, we have wide hallways, and our lighting is nonreflective so it’s easy to see.” A safe and secure environment is a key issue in a long-term care facility, Nelson says. “Our neighborhoods are secure, so residents cannot wander out of the building,” she says. “That’s one of the main concerns we have, because with dementia they are confused and often want to leave. So we want to make it very comforting and secure so they can’t just walk out.”

Meals and snacks are also very important, and they should be tailored to the resident’s likes and dislikes as much as possible, Nelson says. “We formulate their plan of care individually,” she says. “Nurses are in the building 24 hours a day. “We try to hire caregivers who have a passion for caring for others. It’s a very unique population that we serve.” Assisted living facilities and retirement communities are different, says Kathy Chadwick Koke, director of marketing at Laurel Lake, a retirement community in Hudson. “People coming into continuing care retirement communities are much more proactive, because they want to still be in charge of what their goals are for senior care, if and when it’s needed,” she says. “With assisted living, you’re starting to need some personal assistance, physically or mentally. “The goal is always to have a day-to-day, happy lifestyle and to remain happy and healthy as long as possible and to take care of loved ones. They don’t want to be a burden to anyone.” Choosing staff that is a good fit for your loved one is important, Chadwick Koke says. “It’s almost like an extended part of your family,” she says. “It’s nice to create those kinds of

CHECKING IN TO CHECK THINGS OUT A list of some of the things family members should look for or ask about when researching a long-term care facility, according to Kemper House’s Jennifer Nance: • How many rooms, suites and/or beds do you have? • Do you have specialized care for individuals with memory loss? • What security measures are in place to keep my loved one safe? • When are visiting hours? • How do you handle emergencies, both medically and behaviorally? • What services are available in the facility, such as dentist, podiatrist, psychiatrist, medical director or nurse practitioner? • Are the rooms private or will my loved one have a roommate? • Do you have nurses in the building 24 hours? • How often is my loved one showered? • What exactly is included in the cost, and will the cost increase as my loved one’s needs change? • What social programs and activities do you offer? • Do you have therapy services? • How do you meet residents’ spiritual needs? – Ed Wittenberg relationships before you are not able to do it yourself.” Cost is also a key factor, Chadwick Koke says. “Check out the different types of contracts retirement communities offer,” she says. “What if I do need a higher level of care? “Anyone looking at any place will want to know,

what if I lived here for 20 years? Will I be able to afford it? That’s what everybody wants to know.” Although Laurel Lake is a retirement community, it also offers assisted living and skilled care and is licensed by the state for rehabilitation and long-term care if needed, Chadwick Koke says. BF

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Matriculation

money ‘Early and often’ best describes how parents should be saving for their child’s college education By Ed Wittenberg

t’s never too early for parents to start planning for their child’s college education.

“They should start saving from Day One,” says David Gottlieb, financial adviser at Edward Jones in Pepper Pike. “Once you start, if you keep doing it, there will be plenty of money put away.” Matthew Foglia, an independent financial adviser with Cambridge Investment Research in Solon, agrees that starting as early as possible will have the most impact, as time is a critical component. “Many people when they first have children don’t have the disposable income to put away sizable amounts toward their children’s educations,” Foglia says. “If you need to start small, say $50 or $100 per month, that would be much better than waiting until the children are in their teens and playing catch-up. That first $50 deposit doesn’t seem like much, but it has 18 years until it’s needed.” There are many ways for parents to save money for a child’s college fund, Gottlieb and Foglia agree. One is a 529 plan, an education savings plan operated by a state or educational institution designed to help families set aside funds for future college costs. It is

22 | BALANCEDFAMILY | FALL 2016

Foglia

Gottlieb named after Section 529 of the Internal Revenue Code, which created these types of savings plans in 1996. “In this type of plan, the money is invested in mutual funds and can grow tax deferred,” Gottlieb says. “When they pull it out, if they want to use it for higher education, it comes out tax-free, and the parent maintains control of the money.” Another way to save, Gottlieb says, is through zerocoupon bonds, also known

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BALANCEDADULTS as discount bonds. These are bonds bought at a price lower than their face value, with that value repaid at the time of maturity. “It’s a way to buy future dollars for college savings,” he says. “It’s almost like a U.S. savings bond.” Simple college savings calculators are available on the websites of most mutual fund

companies, Foglia says. “These calculators will provide a starting point for planning, but meeting with a qualified financial adviser is very important,” he says. “There are many funding vehicles to choose from, and engaging with a financial adviser to help you to understand the benefits and drawbacks of each option is critical.”

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Foglia believes it’s a great idea for parents to involve their children in the college funding process at an early age “in order to jumpstart their financial literacy.” “At what age a parent should begin that process is a personal decision that the parents need to make,” he says. “But educating teenagers about personal finance and investing will have a positive impact for a lifetime.” Gottlieb also favors the idea of including children in the financial planning process for college. “When they’re 8 or 9 years old, (parents can) explain how expensive it is,” he says. “Just start talking to them about what it costs to go to college and how ‘we have to save to help pay for your college.’ As they start getting older, (the

children) should start thinking of ways to make money.” Gottlieb notes many people who talk about saving money for college focus on financial aid. “My focus is, ‘Let’s save so we don’t have to think about financial aid,’” he says. “The problem is people aren’t disciplined to save; they start to save and quit. The key is consistency.” Foglia adds parents should make sure their income source for the college funding is protected. “The death of a parent during the college funding years can derail the plans that parent had originally intended for his or her child,” he says. “Make certain that there is always an adequate amount of life insurance protecting the parents.” BF

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&technology While some worry that “Pokémon Go will create distractions at the outset of a new school year, educators say – as with most technology in the classroom – it’s all about striking the right balance

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TO L CK OO BA CH S

Story by Kristen Mott Photography by Michael C. Butz

“Gotta catch ’em all!”

Solon residents Rebecca Lockman and Ethan Abraham check their smartphones while at the Solon branch of the Cuyahoga County Public Library. Rebecca and Ethan are both 14 years old and entering ninth grade at Solon High School.

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That’s been the mindset of millions of people, especially children and teenagers, this summer as “Pokémon Go,” a location-based, augmentedreality game available on smartphone devices, has swept the nation. From searching for a Charizard in a local park to hunting for a Pikachu outside a coffee shop, people are going out to explore their communities to play and battle against other users. But as summer winds down and schools reopen their doors, parents are questioning whether “Pokémon Go” – or other technology like it – will be allowed or banned inside the classroom. “We’ve received several calls from parents concerned about ‘Pokémon Go,’” says Dan Adiletta, an instructor of computer science and the academic technology coordinator at Gilmour Academy in Gates Mills. “I think with a lot of parents, their initial reaction was negative to ‘Pokémon Go’ because they’re protective of their child, and that’s excellent,” he says, “but I do think that the more

you look at it, the more you can find that it’s very positive and helpful and exciting – as long as you’re using common sense.” Kristen Kirby, director of community relations for the Mentor School District, says she hasn’t heard from any teachers who plan to incorporate “Pokémon Go” into this year’s lesson plans, but that it would be up to the discretion of each to do so. “Our teachers are the content experts for what they’re teaching. We allow them great flexibility in the way they teach and deliver lesson plans. As long as they’re still meeting the teaching and learning standards set forth by the state of Ohio and the Mentor School District, we would be fine with them using it,” she says. Over the summer, Jonathan Kuehnle, principal of Shaker Heights High School, had informal conversations with several teachers about incorporating the game into school curriculum. Whether any of them decide to do so this academic year is up in the air, but Kuehnle says he believes the game can encourage social interaction, especially if it leads students to interact with others they may never have spoken with in the past.

FALL 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 27

Adiletta

Kirby

“When you can find something in common with somebody and make that connection, it strengthens our sense of community,” he says. “That can happen through technology, through sports or through education. Just like anything else, if we adopt it with moderation and a little common sense, it can be fun – and it can even be educational.”

VARYING POLICIES While some students may be able to play “Pokémon Go” as part of a school project or homework assignment, many will have limited access to their smartphones during the rest of the day as more schools are adopting policies regarding student smartphone usage. At Gilmour Academy, for instance, smartphone usage during the school day is prohibited. “Cellphones are not allowed during class and teachers are instructed to remove a cellphone from a student if they see it,” Adiletta says. Students losing focus is one of the main reasons for the strict policy. “We found that the attention issue is significant,” he says. “As a teacher myself, I’ve noticed that students, especially at the high school and middle school level, have such a hard time maintaining focus for any significant length of time, that it is incumbent on us to remove these distractions.” About five years ago, Mentor High School had a similar policy against smartphones. Now, high school students are allowed to use their personal phones – except for the camera function – during free periods like lunch or when they’re walking through the halls. “Several years ago, we decided it was more important to teach students

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Kuehnle how to use their phones responsibly and for real-world situations,” Kirby says. At Shaker Heights High School, the policy of “off and away” is used, Kuehnle says. Students typically carry their phones with them, but they aren’t allowed to use them unless directed to do so by the teacher. “The policy of ‘off and away’ strikes an effective compromise,” he says. “The job of school is to prepare you for life, and there’s not a job or college out there that doesn’t involve the use of technology in some form. You can’t just issue a blanket ban, because that’s not realistic. We have to acknowledge that the technology exists and figure out how we can help our students learn and appropriately make use of that technology both in school and once they graduate.”

TECHNOLOGY IN THE CLASSROOM Although some schools do not allow students to be on their personal smartphones during school hours, that doesn’t mean these schools are banning technology altogether. On the contrary, many are embracing apps and digital platforms that allow students to learn and express their creativity. Kuehnle says he sees learning opportunities both inside and outside of the classroom for “Pokémon Go.” “I have a friend who is a museum director, and she said to me, ‘I have never seen more teenagers coming into the museum than I have this summer thanks to that game.’ And when you talk to the kids they say, ‘Gosh, I’ve never really been here before,’” Kuehnle says.

“One of the things we’re trying to do with the implementation of technology is to be able to offer students more authentic assessments. This is a way for them to apply their knowledge so that it has a real effect. It’s seen by real people, and it’s being put to use. Students take the assignment more seriously and put their best effort into their work.” Dan Adiletta Gilmour Academy

“We can encourage them as they’re playing the game, if there’s a Pokémon floating in front of a Picasso, to check out that painting. It’s all about teachable moments.” In the Mentor School District, each middle school student is assigned an iPad to take home and use for homework assignments. Once they graduate and move on to high school, they receive a grant-funded MacBook. “It’s so great for creation and collaboration,” Kirby says. Both teachers and students take full advantage of this technology, Kirby says. For example, a district teacher took students to an art museum and used iPads to participate in an interactive display, Kirby says. And in 2014, several students from the district had the opportunity to participate in a student achievement fair in Columbus thanks to a “talking art museum” they had created using an augmented reality app called Aurasma. “They basically painted themselves into a painting, so if you took an iPad and focused it on the painting, it would come to life with a presentation

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The popular augmented reality game “Pokémon Go” became the biggest mobile game in U.S. history when it registered 21 million active users in July.

they had already done and videotaped and uploaded to the app,” she says. “They’re learning public-speaking skills and producing skills that meet other standards beyond the art curriculum.” At Gilmour, students and teachers are always looking for ways to use new technology, Adiletta says. Some teachers have introduced WeVideo, a cloud-based video editor, to students, while others are encouraging them to use Tackk, a Clevelandbased creation app that allows them to build public web pages for their senior projects. “One of the things we’re trying to do with the implementation of technology is to be able to offer students more authentic assessments,” he says. “This is a way for them to apply their knowledge so that it has a real effect. It’s seen by real people, and it’s being put to use. Students take the assignment more

seriously and put their best effort into their work.” On the other hand, the main challenge with schools using more technology, Adiletta says, is keeping students focused. “Many people refer to something as the distraction economy,” he says. “Even on some of the websites we use for educational purposes, there are ads and tools to pull users to new sites, to pull them into games, to pull them into all sorts of different directions that we were not intending. That’s something that we’re very cognizant of and we’re trying to really address that.”

SETTING BOUNDARIES Many parents are concerned with how much time their children are spending on their smartphones and laptops. While it’s easier for parents to monitor their children’s technology usage at home, it becomes difficult to set limits while they’re at school. Communication

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between parents and school administrators is key, Kirby says. “When we begin giving students devices, we hold parents meetings so we’re on the same page. When they’re in our building, they’re on our network, so we have control of what’s happening and which sites are blocked and not blocked,” she says. “We make it clear to parents that when they come home and they’re on their network, they need to have security settings in place that meet their standards. It’s the parent’s choice what the child is allowed to view on the internet at home.” As a parent, Kuehnle says he understands the need to set limits on screen time. He also is cognizant of the fact that many parents want their children to have access to their phones during school hours in case of an emergency. “As an educator, we know teaching and learning, and as

a parent, you know your kid,” he says. “What’s best for your kid is for the two of us to work together. A lot of parents want their child to keep their device on at school in case they want to reach them, and I get that as a parent. “At the same time, I can’t have my cellphone out all day at work, and the kids can’t have it out all day during class because they need to learn. I would encourage parents to talk to their schools about being informed of the school’s policy.” Adiletta notes that much research is being done on technology and its effects on a child’s well-being. He believes that schools will adapt and change their policies and procedures as technology continues to evolve. “We definitely don’t have all of the answers on this issue,” he says. “It’s an ongoing process. We’re studying it and talking about it, and we’re going to keep changing as the technology changes.” BF

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FALL 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 31

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School stressors A

Kids can find school stressful – whether due to bullies, assignments or assimilating after summer break – but parents can help them manage By Jonah L. Rosenblum

child’s first day of school, an employee’s first day at a new job – these moments are nerve-racking.

Sometimes, however, simply returning to the same school building as the year before can seem perilous. Maybe it’s deep sadness over the end of summer. Maybe it’s bullying. Maybe it’s an intimidating teacher. Maybe it’s a crush or a struggle to fit in with the cool kids. Sometimes, it’s more than one trigger. And it can be scary for a child who has never felt “this way” before. “When you’re a younger kid or even a teenager, the emotional experiences

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can be much more overwhelming and you may not have as extensive a vocabulary to explore those emotions or share those emotions,” says Kathleen Corcoran, a psychologist with the Cleveland Center for Conscious Living. Either way, back-to-school stress can be serious – and a parent should treat it with respect. It’s easy, with the passage of time, for a parent to chuckle at his or her child’s darkest fears. That parent knows that first crush likely won’t turn into a spouse – and that’s OK.

That parent had good teachers and bad teachers – and made it through. Still, laughing off a child’s heartfelt concerns isn’t going to help. Instead, Liz Brady-Toomey, a therapist at Compassionate Collaborations in Lakewood, says understanding is key. She suggests phrases like, “Oh, I can see how that would stress you out,” or, “What do you think we can do about it?” Some kids will come right out and talk about their feelings. Others won’t. Instead, parents might notice a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping or that their STRESSORS on Page 35

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Mind Over Matter: Understanding the Psychology of Pain By Sherry Gavanditti Is it all in your head? Research is revealing that when dealing with pain, the brain plays an important part in determining to what degree and for how long you will experience pain. More than 30 million Americans suffer from some form of chronic pain. Not lamenting on your pain can give you a greater chance of getting better, with the help of your physician or a physical therapist and an individualized therapy program. Your attitude will play an important role in your own recovery. Chronic worry about pain can lead to a pattern of catastrophic thinking. Repeated attention to pain can cause us to magnify the outcome and effects of pain and render us with little control over how we think and react to pain. Avoiding pain-associated behavior, such as not doing your prescribed physical therapy because you fear that it could increase your pain — even temporarily — can contribute significantly to your disability. You can’t expect to get better by denying yourself the help you need. It’s normal to feel anger, frustration or helplessness, but these feelings can be a precursor to treatment ineffectiveness. Don’t appraise your self-worth and abilities negatively because you can’t control your pain. Your response to pain can have both positive and negative effects. Taking action and exercising with the belief that you have control over your pain can improve your function and fitness. Chronic pain creates a barrier between who you were and who you now are, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You Have Options Therapy For Your Pain: Therapists at Menorah Park’s Peter B. Lewis Aquatic & Therapy Center see firsthand that those who stick to their rehab program have the greatest possible range of motion, and can do more activities. Debra Glett, physical therapist at the Center, notes that one aspect of movement and pain is its effect on the joints of the body. The joints require movement for health. One of the reasons for that is the synovial fluid, which delivers lubrication and nutrients to the joint cartilage, requires movement to circulate throughout the joint area. Unlike our blood, which is moving through our blood vessels even when we are at rest, delivering oxygen and nutrients to our muscles, skin, bones, etc., the fluid that nourishes the joints requires movement. A therapist can evaluate you and design an individualized safe program that is tolerable and will help you increase your activity. “Aquatic exercise and therapy allow for activity that often cannot be tolerated on land,” Glett said. “Many clients who exercise for 30 to 60 minutes or more in the pool couldn’t tolerate more than 20 minutes of land-based activity. The pool is the gateway to

Eran Shiloh, physical therapist at the Peter B. Lewis Aquatic & Therapy Center works with client Lisa Sutton increased activity on land and the progression to land-based exercise, the natural course of therapy. It remains an activity of choice for the regular weekly exercise routine of clients with longstanding chronic pain. An hour in the pool two to four times a week can help one to better do what they want on land, and in their professional, family, recreational and social lives.” Angie Holpuck, also a therapist at the Center, says myofascial pain (painful muscles and trigger points) can be helped by several manual techniques such as dry needling (pushing a very thin needle through the skin to stimulate trigger points and release tight muscle bands) and a hands-on technique called MFR, or myofascial release (applying gentle sustained pressure into myofascial connective tissue is shown to reduce pain). “As a physical therapist, I use these techniques in combination with active movement in the water or on land depending on the client’s needs and preference,” Holpuck said. “Once the myofascial pain is reduced, there is less muscle-guarding. Movement becomes easier.” Yoga — Gentle Stretching Can Help: It is known to bring balance to the body, mind and spirit. The breathing exercises and physical poses can help reduce chronic pain and anxiety by helping participants develop a mindful awareness and sustained attention to the present moment. Producing Endorphins Will Reduce Your Pain: Exercise, excitement, pleasure, laughter and anything that makes you happy can cause your brain to produce this opiate-resembling analgesia. Endorphins have a natural antidepressant property. They decrease pain sensitivity, increase deep sleep and increase mental sharpness.

Courtney Stanley, OT, MS and Shannon Steele, DPT work with Erwin Myeroff Lighten Up: And finally, consider losing weight if you need to, as it will reduce pain and stiffness. Every 10 pounds you lose can lower your arthritis pain by up to 20 percent. The Center’s Health Maintenance program after your therapy can be very helpful. For more information on exercise classes, land-based or aquatic therapy, call 216-595-7345 or visit lewisaquaticcenter.org. Retrain Your Brain: Krystal Culler, director of Menorah Park’s Center 4 Brain Health, has many suggestions and classes to help you take a mental climb away from your pain to a beautiful, healing altitude. “Aromatherapy, meditation, guided imagery, acupressure, acupuncture, visualization, massage, sound baths and other natural approaches can be helpful, and you can learn to cope. There may not be one fix, but there are lots of alternatives to help you find the wellness path you need,” she said. You can find out more by emailing her at center4brainhealth@menorahpark.org or by visiting center4brainhealth.org. Fear No More: Relaxing your mind, body and spirit to accept your limitations, surpass your expectations and continue your treatment is a first — and most powerful — step in healing.

The Peter B. Lewis Aquatic & Therapy Center at Menorah Park

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BALANCEDBODY&MIND STRESSORS from Page 32 kids don’t initiate plans with friends anymore. “Parents are the best interpreters about their kids,” Corcoran says. “If they sense there is something going on, there probably is.” In those cases, Corcoran says, “it’s helpful to make statements rather than bombard them with questions.” A statement might be something like, “You seem a little less happy lately.” That phrase is hard to disagree with – and a lot less overwhelming than the open-ended, “How are you feeling?” Brady-Toomey says letting the child talk is key. It can be tempting for a parent to spell out everything and try

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to guess what’s bothering the child and attempt to provide a comprehensive solution. She recommends, instead, when a parent notices that his or her child doesn’t look right to simply ask a conversational question: “Hey, you look like you’ve been thinking a lot. What’s going on?” A casual opener allows a child to feel more comfortable when initiating a conversation. “A lot of times, they’ll tell you the truth if it doesn’t seem like such a horrendous deal,” Brady-Toomey says. Another benefit of keeping calm in the face of a child’s adversity is that it lets the child know that such adversity is OK. It’s important, BradyToomey says, that children learn that “it’s normal to have stress, it’s normal to get

mad.” After all, this won’t be the last time they’ll be upset. For younger children, roleplay can be an effective way to overcome stress. They can act out or practice their response to a certain situation. If it’s a bullying situation, the child and parent can prepare a response to a bully. There’s no one-size-fits-all technique for feeling better. For some kids, role-play works great. For others, it might not. The same is true with art. For some, drawing out their feelings is extremely helpful. For others, it’s not effective. “One of the worst things we can do is try to force kids to do something that doesn’t work for them,” BradyToomey says. “It really does depend on the kid and what’s a good fit for them.”

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For teenagers, there can be a fine line between letting them know you care but not being overbearing. Corcoran says with teenagers it can be helpful to model selfcare. Show them how you “regulate your emotions,” exercise and keep calm. And sometimes, it might be best to simply let the stress go – ignore it – and go out for ice cream. Parents shouldn’t force their children into the “distraction technique.” Indeed, the child might protest at first: “Oh please, you can’t make me happy with ice cream.” Ice cream tends to win out, however. BF Jonah L. Rosenblum is a freelance writer from Cleveland Heights

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FALL 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 35

BALANCEDBODY&MIND

Digestive disambiguation

The differences among food allergies, intolerances and sensitivities are important in determining how best to treat them By Ed Wittenberg

any people believe they suffer from a food allergy, but in reality they may be dealing with a food intolerance. Some of the symptoms of the two conditions are similar, but the differences between them are important.

Dr. Donald Kirby, director of the Center for Human Nutrition at Cleveland Clinic, says food intolerance is an adverse reaction to food that is not immune mediated, but with a food allergy, the body has a specific immune response to that food that occurs repeatedly when a person is exposed to it. Eating a food one is intolerant to can make one feel miserable, but a true food allergy can lead to a life-threatening situation. “A lot of people think they are allergic to foods but really are not,” Kirby says. “The

perceived rate of food allergies is about 20 percent, but those who actually have the allergies is about 1.4 percent.” Food sensitivity refers to one not feeling well when he or she eats that particular food. “The best way to take care of food sensitivity is to not have that food,” he says. “But humans are not always so bright when it comes to that.” Dr. Samuel Friedlander, an allergist and immunologist at University Hospitals in Cleveland, says his office treats many people with food allergies and food sensitivities.

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Friedlander “A food allergy is specifically related to the immune system, whereas food sensitivity is related to other adverse effects in the body,” says Friedlander, who specializes in allergy, asthma and sleep medicine. “Food intolerance is a sensitivity in which somebody has problematic symptoms related to eating certain foods, but not necessarily due to the immune system; it’s due to other factors. “For instance, if you have celiac disease, that intolerance is related to different parts of the immune system. Lactose intolerance is related to an enzyme deficiency.”

Kirby Kirby says lactose intolerance may be the most common example of food intolerance. He says by age 20, about 20 percent of Caucasians – as opposed to about 80 percent of AfricanAmericans and about 90 percent of Asians – become lactose-intolerant. “So symptoms may be variable to different people,” he says, “but a way to avoid having those symptoms is to avoid that particular food or take a medicine like Lactaid that helps to break up lactose to make it more tolerable.” Celiac disease is a common food allergy, Kirby says. It’s also an autoimmune

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BALANCEDBODY&MIND disease characterized by allergies to wheat, rye and barley. It’s possible to have a wheat allergy without having celiac disease. “Wheat allergies can happen in children, but more than 60 percent of the time they will outgrow it by age 12 or so,” Kirby says. “But the reaction to it can be quite severe, enough to be lifethreatening.” Most food allergies, Kirby says, are caused by eight different allergens: milk, soy, fish, shellfish, eggs, wheat, peanuts and tree nuts. He says food allergies are more common in infants and children, who often outgrow them, except allergies to peanuts – often the most severe – and to milk and tree nuts to a lesser degree. “Food allergies that occur in adults tend to continue

throughout their lifetime,” he says. Food allergy symptoms can be variable, Kirby says. “They can be very minor, or the larynx can swell up and it could be fatal,” he says. “There are specific (gastrointestinal) symptoms, most often in children.” People with severe food intolerances may have allergy testing done by an allergist. “In extreme cases, an allergist may work with a dietitian to do some elimination diets, to see what foods might be better for a particular individual,” Kirby says. “Then avoid the foods (that are causing problems).” Friedlander says the most important thing physicians need to do regarding food allergies, intolerance or sensitivity is to diagnose the problem.

“Once we’re able to do that, we can come up with the best treatment plan,” he says. “That’s why it’s so important that we find out what’s happening.” Friedlander recommends keeping a food log for two weeks and sharing that with one’s allergy physician. “We can go over the symptoms and try to figure out the best management and treatment,” he says. “That’s a good start. It’s important to consult with an allergy doctor so (he or she) can determine the diagnosis and come up with a treatment plan.” If one is having a true allergic reaction, Kirby says, he or she may experience swelling of the face, throat and other body parts. They also may have difficulty breathing, skin irritation or hives.

“Some people will manifest with severe nausea and vomiting, running eyes or nose or nasal congestion,” he says. “Usually with food sensitivity, the symptoms are just general (gastrointestinal) discomfort, gas, cramping and bloating, with or without diarrhea.” In the event of an allergic reaction that requires immediate attention, one should go to a doctor or emergency room. “We know food allergies are on the rise because they are becoming more common,” Friedlander says. “They are impacting more and more people, and the positive side is we have better treatments and also more options for dealing with these problems. But the downside is they are more common.” BF

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The David and Freda Robinson Residence at The Weils (left and center) and The Willensky Residence on the Montefiore campus (right).

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FALL 2016 | BALANCEDFAMILY | 37

CAREERPATH BETH KUHEL

The power of positive Embracing a new narrative when encountering struggle can lead you to be happier and stronger

ot getting into the college or job of your dreams, going through a breakup or losing a loved one can seem like the end of the world. One way to move forward is learning to adapt from the most positive people – accept the “new normal,” spot alternatives and then create a happier life.

Have you ever noticed how attractive and likable people are when they have a positive attitude? These individuals see their setbacks as experiences to learn from in order to improve. They take pleasure in personal growth, and rather than perseverating on a problem, they look for ways to grow from it. Positive people don’t think of themselves as victims. They rebound by developing new habits and are proactive in pursuing positive goals. They reframe situations that turned out poorly as something they’re grateful for, and will often say to themselves things like “it was meant to be” or “it’s all for the best” or “I’ve learned valuable lessons from this.” Research shows that these people tend to be happier as they readily let go of unhappy narratives and are even forgetful of actual facts about things that were hurtful; some even create inaccurate memories so they

can be happier. These upbeat people are generally happier because they focus on that which they can control, break patterns of repetitive negative thought, and work at noticing the best in themselves and others. They’re admirable because they actually get stronger and wiser following a challenge. Let me give you an example. I met a young woman we’ll call Alex who exemplifies positivity and inspires everyone she meets with her remarkably empathetic behavior. She suffered for more than 20 years from a chronic illness that forced her to drop out of high school because she needed constant medical attention and nearly 100 procedures and surgeries. Alex describes herself as a “mighty warrior on the path toward better health.” She fights daily battles with her fears, negative thoughts and pain – and she’s proud of being so open about her

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struggle so she can give strength to others who suffer and let them know they’re not alone. Instead of drowning in self-pity, she used her limited strength to be featured in what’s become an award-winning documentary about her struggle to help raise awareness about her disease. Medical professionals say part of Alex’s success with her recent organ transplant and her documentary is that she’s driven by positive goals, positive images, positive thoughts and positive, proactive behavior. She sought purpose in her struggle by using it to help others in a similar situation and when she was weak leaned on her closest family for support. Pulitzer Prize-winning author Charles Duhigg writes in his book, “The Power of Habit,” that positivity is a matter of habit and that all of us can benefit from practicing some of these “habits” in order to become more positive and ultimately more effective and successful in life. “Once you understand that habits can change, you have the freedom and the responsibility to remake them. … Once you understand that habits can be rebuilt, the power of habit becomes

easier to grasp and the only option left is to get to work.” Turn off the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Rephrase your comments and conversations to reflect a more positive outcome. Anytime you hear yourself saying something that lowers your mood, think of another way to say it that could lift your spirits. Positive people are energized more by what they can do than what they can’t. Positive people don’t just have a great day, they make it a great day! These people realize that setbacks and failures are a normal part of a successful life. So if you want to be happier, more likable and productive, try working at becoming more positive. Accept the “new normal,” and in time, your new narrative and new behaviors will attract good will and help you thrive in school, work and life. Beth Kuhel, M.B.A., C.E.I.P., is a Forbes, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur magazine contributor, and an executive and millennial career coach. Kuhel is also a member of the Forbes Coaches Council. Follow her on Twitter at @BethKuhel and learn more at fromdiploma2dreamjob.com.

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