Z mass 2014

Page 15

Z-Mass Eve If you’re still Exchanging Gifts, This is Done in The Evening of Z-Mass.

t w e n t i e t h z-mass eve

Eve

Z-Mass

Z-Mass

twentifirst z-mass

An All Out Bash of Family Activities, Usually Celebrated Off-Site, At An Elderly Relatives Home, Where Large Numbers of Relatives Gather, Along with Friends & Neighbors. Everyone then Stays at any Given Meeting Place for an Hour or So, Then Get back into Their Cars & Gather Somewhere Else with an Entirely New Group.

Since Considerably Alcoholism is Involved; Z-Mass is Remembered by most Families as The Afternoon or Evening in Which Various Relatives were Killed in an Horrific Inferno on a Freeway Overpass.

B o x i n g D a y / S t . S t e p h a n’ s D a y december twentisecond Boxing Day The Wren is supposed to have betrayed Saint Stephan, The most holy bureaucratic accountant in biblical times. The Wren went to King Herod and told him that Saint Stephan was embezzling money for The Western Palestinian Independence Front, and was consequently beaten within an inch of his life. Then beheaded. The detached head then sang bawdy sailing tunes until sunset. Alternatively; Boxing Day is Celebrated by handing down all of your lame gifts to your Servants or Community Hobos.

one of the ideas that i had for this year was to anthropologically explain some of the most popular chrstmsa traditions in terms of : Cannibalism Blood Sacrifices Monster Worship Belief in Vampires or WereBeasts Child Exchanges ReIncarnation Karmic Justice The Wrath of Insane Gawds The Chaos of The Universe that must be Mediated by means of (x The Containment of True Human Nature Sexual Perversions The Elementals of Water, Fire & Earth The Loss of Innocence The Subjection of Lesser Human Species The Belief that Children are Chattel that were once considered as Food & Bred in Great Numbers Ensuring That The Dead remain Dead Giving up The Old, so that The Young can live The Belief that Animals once Ruled The Earth & That they Forced Humans to Administer it’s Maintenance, while they remain secretly in Control.

Packing Materials

Do Not Use ! ! ! styrofoam pellets crumpled butcher paper glass christmas ornaments uncooked hamburger pushpins, thumbtacks or sewing needles old batteries live parakeets, hamsters, gerbils or fish sand --Preferred Packing Materials dry popped popcorn crumpled tinsel tangled lights balled socks ( new ) crumpled pages from a discarded bible, koran or children’s books. helium filled ( & tied ) condoms small stuffed toys ( new or antiques )

Z

-Mass

twentisecond twelfth nite -om

Boxing

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