Resilient by Richard Chavez

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Resilient Richard Chavez

African Proverb

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter
-

Richard Chavez Resilient

No matter what life throws at us we have the ability to recover. Taking form after being compressed, broken, and bent is how we evolve as human beings.

My uprising, I had everything a kid could ever want. From a billiards table, playstation 2, computer, to cable T.V. Being the cool kid, I had all the kids from school over at my place. There wasn’t a school day that passed when I didn’t have friends over playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas with scribbled sheets full of cheat codes. A time when chasing the ice cream truck for blocks and playing cops and robbers was a fun thing to do. A time when corner store runs were the shit! When twenty-five cent chips were actually stuffed with chips.

All those times I had growing up everything I ever had was possible due to my diligent father. Providing us with the things he didn’t have as a child was his way of showing love. He sacrificed himself by working in a warehouse under severely humid conditions for 12 hours a day. Busting his ass for me, my mother and my younger brother, Brian. Not that my dad wasn’t home ever but would’ve loved to have more of his heart and time.

Having to learn stuff on my own was the only choice I had. I scraped my knees till I learned how to ride a bike, set up a modem and router to have Wi-Fi in the house and taught myself how to use a toolbox because back in the day, Kmart’s shit broke a lot. I could do this and do that, but all I ever wanted to hear from my father was I love you, Mijo.

My mother was quite the opposite when raising me. Compassionate, loving and setting up a good foundation for our future. As far back as I can remember, she would hold me and my brother's tiny hands for miles walking through heavy snow and rain to participate in events and sports. Giving it all she had so one day we can make a name for ourselves. My mother would also buy one-day bus passes to explore the downtown of Chicago. Looking through the illuminating skyscraper windows, she'll say to me, “One day you'll be there. You'll have a nice job and an opportunity to actually spend time with your family.” “Si ma un dia,” I told her, smiling back looking at her hopeful eyes.

Years later the fact that I decided to drop out of high school devastated her heart. I became just another statistic. A dropout. Wanting to work to provide for myself under my parents roof wasn't an option. My mother called my grandmother and told her that I'll be paying her a visit soon. “Fuck yeah! A trip to Mexico,” I thought. Wait! “But if I'm not headed to Ciudad Guzman, Jalisco where my Dad grew up, where am I going Ma?” “I want you to open your eyes and not to be blind Richie,” my mother yelled at me.

I was headed to a different part of Mexico where I didn't know what awaited me. “It'll be an eye-opening experience to witness real poverty and not take privileges for granted here in the states. It's for the best," she said confidently.

Life in Mexico City opened my eyes for what reality is out there. Cartels running the show, women prostituting themselves, and children carrying Smith & Wesson was the daily norm. A place where the majority of the people will kill for the position I have in Chicago. Walking through the dangerous streets made me realize that the saddest thing in life is wasted potential. I hit reality, and transforming myself to a better version is my mission.

After a year of being in Mexico City and Ciudad Guzman, Jalisco, my parents decided it was time for my return to Chicago. Content to see them, I told them I'm going to enroll myself in a military boot camp with GED schooling. At the O'Hare airport, I told them it's a 6-month schooling program in Rantoul, Illinois. My mom held me tight in her arms knowing that I'm going to leave her again.” It's not till winter so I'll still be here for the summer. ” That summer consisted of taquizas (having your own personal taco chef), long lines waiting for the Raging Bull & Vertical Velocity rides at Six Flags. Refreshing water parks in Wisconsin Dells, riding the ferris wheel at Navy Pier, feasting on succulent fire ribs at the Taste Of Chicago and enjoying the beautiful scenery at the Buckingham Fountain. The right way to spend time with the familia before I left.

The first two weeks at Lincoln’s Challenge Academy are known as the acclimation phase, making the cut to reserve your place. It consisted of standing straight for hours, no talking unless addressed by a lieutenant, folding the corners of your bed at 45° every morning at 5:00 a.m. and of course holding your own weight down all day. Many left within the first few days of being there. It was either because of gang fights between Latin kings, Satan Disciples, GDs, Black Disciples or gangsters from the street calling their mothers to drive hours to pick them up.

It's not in my blood to surrender. Being trained mentally and physically everyday, I went through a process of growth. Evolving me to a person that will stay with me for life. After 6 months I received my GED and completed boot camp.

Arriving home to my beautiful family and my newborn baby brother Roy was a blessing. For some reason while I was holding his chubby self, kissing him gave me a parental feeling. To make it my life’s work for my Roy and Ryan to have a better life than me. Teach them from my mistakes in life, developing them mentally and morally. Giving them all my love. A lifestyle they will pass on for generations to come.

As your first son, mom and dad, you ’ ve given me love the best way you know and I’m blessed to call you my father and mother. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

Christ, in my dream you stretched out your hand for me telling me how you ' ve always been there but I strayed from you and that wasn't living my life with a purpose. You then told me if I wanted to be your friend again and I stretched out my hand to hold yours. Nothing in my life ever again without the Divine will.

Perhaps this too will be a pleasure to look back on one day. Adjusting to change and recovering from misfortune is part of life’s walk. And this here will change me because my life depends on it. Straining toward what is ahead, I’ll press on. And when the time arrives for the gates to set me free, I’ll establish true to my dignity as resilient.

I Am From

Richard Chavez

Racing to the corner store for 25 cent bag chips

Immigrant family from Cuidad Guzman Jalisco

Chancla spankings and hottest summers forced to eat caldo

Hereditary from Perla and Ramiro Chavez

Addicted to chilaquiles and Agua de Horchata

Renting movies and video games from Blockbuster

Drives to Lake Shore Drive

Chicago’s South Side Gage Park

Heartburns from Mexican Cuisine

Airplane flights to Las Vegas and Mexico

Valentine’s Day

Evolution basketballs, Brunswick Billiards, Samsung and Playstation consoles

Zodiac in astrology; Scorpio

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb

Copyright 2023 ConTextos

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