The Old Lady in the Window
Miguel Wilson
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives. Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities. While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books. This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
The Old Lady in the Window Miguel Wilson
As a child, I watched everything all around me because your brain is a sponge. This is something that stayed with me as I got older. My Big Brother was the one I watched most cause he was my Big Brother. It’s natural for you to pay attention to your Big Brother cause if your father is not around, the next man in line is your Big Brother. So I paid close attention to him and noticed that to everyone else he was the perfect child. He’s the child that every parent wants and every sibling hates. But I did not hate my Big Brother, not at all. I wanted to learn how did he get people to think he was perfect. It took like eight years but the answer was simple. He did not do anything but what people told him to do and I knew that wasn’t me. I like doing what I want to do. I did not get in trouble that much when I was young. Does that mean I was like my Big Brother? No, far from it. I just did not get caught as much cause I watched and learned from other people. Stuff like the old lady in the window who saw me break the window. I can’t control that so I tell myself, watch out for the old ladies in the windows.
They’re bored so they are in the window all day to catch me and all the other kids doing things we aren’t posed to be doing, like knocking over garbage cans, snatching and running, catch a girl from a girl, freaky Friday, and playing with the worms. See I was like so many other kids but was also different. I looked at wrestling but knew it was fake, but also knew you could hurt yourself. I laughed at Pokemon, but did not play with the cards cause I knew that the cards would not bring the same thrill as watching it. I had dreams of making it to the NFL. I did not think I would get tall so did not think about the NBA, so basketball was out the picture. I actually taught myself how to play basketball in jail but that is a story for later. I threw a lot of rocks, so yes, I can throw. I caught bugs.
I used to catch bugs, climb trees, big trees, little trees, skinny trees. I like trees, always have, always will. People certainly looked at me as a odd ball, but I knew I wasn’t just cause I’m doing what I want to do does not make me a odd ball. It makes me a leader. So I’m a 11 year old boy in a tree looking down at the grass, the cars and other kids playing. The old lady in the window looks and smiles and tell me to come down or I'll hurt myself. I tell her I’m really good at climbing so I won’t hurt myself. She tell me I’m lying. I tell her I’m not. She ask me to climb down and have a talk with her. She has snacks and juice so I’m all with it. We eat the snacks and drink the juice. So she showcase her smarts by asking me to show her my scars and the story that came with them and the pain level when I first received them and the current pain level. Before I knew it she was calling me a liar. I didn’t know why she was calling me a liar so I ask her and she said that I told her I wouldn’t hurt myself climbing trees but had so many scars from climbing trees. And this old lady probably just in the window watching me fall over and over until I became good at climbing trees.
She admitted that she hasn’t watched me fall in a while and just because I got good at it did not mean I would not fall and hurt myself. And the important thing is to get back up. I tell her people think I’m a oddball cause I catch bugs and climb trees. She says it may seem that you are because you are the only person doing these things but the truth is that I’m not a follower and that other boys and girls will start climbing trees too. And I ask her why. She said that today was the highest she saw me climb and it made her wish she can climb a tree.
When she was young she caught bugs too. And I ask her what was the first bug she caught. She said a butterfly and I was lit up with joy and it was all on my face. So she ask me what was I so happy for. I told her my first bug was a butterfly too and that there were bugs easy for us to catch. She ask me which one was easy to catch and I told her lightning bugs and it was her time to laugh. But before I was playing with bugs and climbing trees, I was a little kid, probably three or four. I couldn’t wait until Saturday came. It was like Christmas for all little kids, waiting for the cartoons to come on. My first love was Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Action figures, wallet, beeper, cup, hat, drawers, socks, I had it.
On all my birthdays, I had plates, cups, and hats. This is what my life consisted of at that time. I was happy every Saturday. Why? Because I told myself I was a red Power Ranger, the red one, the white one, the blue one, the black one, and the gold one. Before the show used to come on, I used to try to be the first one to shout out “I’m the red one!” I liked red when I was little, and the Red Ranger was the leader, Jason. So yes, no one ever picked Alpha 5 or Zordon or Goldar. I wonder why. They won a lot, but no one ever picked them. Saturdays was the best for me. If other kids were like me, “It’s morphing time!” was a catch phrase heard everywhere there was little kids playing. All the other cartoons was cool, but nothing got my blood pumping like the Rangers. I saw the Rangers everywhere I went, at school on backpacks, on shoes. Everywhere. I did not care that they came from Payless, I wanted the Power Rangers shoes that light up. Why? For some reason I thought they gave me powers. You could not tell me anything. Fast forward two to three years later. I saw a movie that I fell hard for when it came on. I’m smiling the whole time the movie is on.
My favorite part of the movie was a line that singles out becoming a grown man. At the time I didn’t know, but that line was “When I’m King, I’m going to rule it all.” Then the beat drops in. Once that beat drops, the singing comes.
To this day, when that beat drops people sing. I’m now thirty two, and at the time I was like five or six. So the Lion King is one of the biggest things of my childhood. That followed me all the way to my adult life. As a kid, I did not know what they really was talking about. But as a man, I understand what the Circle of Life is all about. What goes around, comes back around, because it’s a circle and that’s what a circle does. But just like the Rangers, I had the Lion King everything. Bunk beds, clothes, shoes, socks, toys, video game. I would watch that movie all day, over and over until I got to take the tape out of the VCR and fix it myself by hand. Most people that are young saw the Lion King, but on DVD, not on VHS. So they never had to fix a tape or use a VCR.
After the Lion King came Harry Potter, Pokemon, and Dragonball Z. My love for them was like the love I share with Power Rangers and the Lion King. But I’m a little older now. Dragon Ball Z is an action packed cartoon with lots of fighting, flying and energy. Blassis Pokemon is full of animals with powers. Harry Potter is with a wizard boy around the same age as me so I got Pokemon before school. Dragon Ball Z tales and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on vhs tape too. My big brother has the Dragonball Z tapes so we watch them together. At the time, his favorite character was Gohan, mine was Vegeta. They're both very strong but Gohan is the strongest. But Vegeta is very strong and no pushover. Why they are different is because Gohan hit his head very hard as a child and he is raised by humans and Vegeta is raised on the home planet, so he is 100% the way a Saiyan is supposed to be. So this cartoon is right up my alley and people at school were like “How do you like all three of them and which one is better?” I have to admit that at the time I liked Harry Potter the most. He had no parents because they were killed by him who must not be named. Mine was not dead but they weren't around so we had that in common. And I love magic so the idea of you doing something the laws of human physics say you can’t do I’m all for it 100%. So yea, I’m a kid with a big scandal in front cause guess what comes on at 7pm Monday night. RAW. I almost left that part out. I was a big DX fan, Stone Cold, the Rock, Undertaker, and Chris Jericho.
Miguel Wilson
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright
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