Started Off Innocent, Living in Hell by Brother Treadwell

Brother Treadwell

Started Off Innocent, Living in Hell

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

Started Off Innocent, Living in Hell Brother Treadwell

me about everything for about an I ate candy and chips and she was talking to sounds. hour. I just listen and express emotion through

Boom , Boo m, Bo sta r te om, B d to r oom, in g o Boom u t.

, sh o t s

I grabbed Ashley’s hand and ran her away from the sound of shots to the entry of the alley. I was so scared. “Is you ok?” she asked. “Yeah. Is you ok?” “I’m decent,” she replied snuffling.

Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, shots rang out again. Then I ran her behind the dumpster across from us

to a black car parked in the alley, Then 2 hooded figures came running back alley. I seen the man that paid for and as the driver of the car pulled out of the with me and gave me a head nod. my sister’s food, driving off. He locked eyes

C h ic ag “ C o m o a n d h is 2 h it e ta c lo s e o n N e ll, l e t’s g ’s d r o v e o r a nd o ba f f b la c lo s e p a in c k to s t in g . r to t th e f Gu c c h e fr r o n t, o n t. ” We b Ashle i-man ou t th e o th h y sa i ea r d d an s p ea d as kers.

K en ’ s w voice e wa s cryin g e tti g ou ng t lou d in

So w e r a n to t h e so u n older b d of his o y s th a cry , a nd t was w u p o n se ith Ken’s eing Ke b r o th e r n I also holding s ee n o n his nec e o f th e k as blo od flow e d o u t.

His whit e shirt w a s so a k got lou ed in b d e r a nd lood. H louder, S he w a e w as g I felt his s crying asping p a in. I sta for air, to o . I w r te d c r y a nd a s alked o Ken crie ing and v e r to K e n. s looked ova a t Ashley.

I looked at his Big Brother in the middle of the street, 2 bullet holes in his head, his wild eyes no longer icy but blank and lifeless.

Ken continuing to cry out and each cry piercing my soul, filling me with wild pain.

I was lost in the atmosphere of two dead bodies for what seemed like hours. I touched Ken on the shoulder. He turnt around and started punching me.

He was crying and I was crying, but I couldn’t hit him back because every punch he gave me felt like it can bring his brother back to life.

So I just balled u p in pain hurting. , n o t fr o K e n sto p m th e p p e d p un unc h b u louder. ching m t becau e and fe se my h o ll on top mie was o f me c rying lou d er a n d

H is p a in w a s ro ck m y so in g u l.

me for No ambulance ca 2 hours.

about

or ter’s neighb is s y M t. in g. “I’m t this po ject buildin ro ck outside a P a e b th e m in a o c ple . ley to g A lot of peo hug, crying e n a n d A sh K a , e e m m g ld in to iv g e a nd y said, grabbed m Nell,” Ashle e y B . m o m h my finna go wit

“Bye Ashley,” I said walking inside the building. Ken stayed outside not listening to my sister’s neighbor.

The moment I made it in my sister’s apartment, “Where the fuck you been? You got me worried about you. Why the fuck you ain’t come in the house when you hear shooting? You going home to Mom and Daddy. They on the way. I can’t do this no mo,” Shon said.

I walked to my niece’s bed and went to sleep. I woke up to my mom hugging me crying, whispering that I’m not coming back over here. I was supposed to be at church with her, not really talking to me, but letting out her feelings and thoughts.

My mom took me to Burger King to get something to eat then she took me home.

“Go in there and tell your Daddy you home and I’m finna go shopping for you some school clothes and shoes,” my mom told me. “Ok bye,” I said. “Bye,” she replied.

The moment I walked in the house my sister Nini told me that my homies Brenton and Deangelo was keeping coming ova everyday I was gone. So I went to ask my dad can I go outside. “No, go yo ass upstairs and do yo homework,” he said.

I stump up the stairs mad. “Stop all that damn stumping and do yo damn homework,” my dad yelled.

So I started doing my homewo rk, but those 2 dead bodies kep t popping up in my head and Ken ’s pain and loud cries made me start crying.

So I just put my homework up and went to sleep. I woke up to my father yelling for all of us to come to the kitchen to eat. He asked all of us did we do our homework.

, a nd ting, quickly a e d .” e y rt d ta d ur We all s , “Yeah, da and said o ,” he said. p ld u o We all said h c s t a e w g , it up r chores od before e us d o o u r I cleaned d e a ft “Eat this fo a m t d u a B d . y orning a s d o ne m ol in the m o h c s w he n w e w e s u a ec t 9:30pm b p. curfew is a ight to slee a tr s t n e w d up , I a n d w a sh e

Just to wake up smelling nice bacon, eggs, and blueberry pancakes. My big brother Chuck woke us up. “Go brush yo teeth and wash your face, eat breakfast, put your clothes and shoes on and we finna go to school,” he said.

ack for ys left us a sn a lw a e h S . p woke u h en and watc e before we n d o e g th ys a to in lw a o g ast, then M y mom w a s d the breakf ke o o c r e th school. My fa ool. leave for sch e w l ti n u ys o Cow b

Then open up his businesses at 8:45am, as we all getting our book bags and preparations for the school day.

“Ya’ll learn something at school today,” my dad say every morning before school.

Me and my siblings never walked to school together. We all met our friends on the corner and we’d walk in our separate groups to school.

Brenton and Deangelo ran up to me the moment I came out our gate. “Bro, I got to tell you what happened over this weekend,” they both said together. “You tell ‘em,” Deangelo said to Brenton. Bro Andre big cuzin got killed bro,” Brenton said.

be that s y o eb p s, of th o buy chi e n o s st in wa us dollar z u c h is ng , g iv i s b ut s d u n h e t i wi d fr cool rho o s o y b a h alw e ig was o ur n e f H o . s e a s o n l l in g d r u g w e r e rs A nd co rne d y . e h t n on nd ca a s e j u ic

rojects, et killed in the p g le p eo p o tw “Bro I just seen .” s brother’s friend hi nd a er th ro b Ken’s

it was my friend

“Damn,” Deangelo said. “Bro Andre cuz was bleeding a lot. We gon see it on our way to school,” Brenton said. And as we got closer to the blood on the sidewalk, it was a small crowd of about 15 kids staring at the bloody sidewalk.

as k e it w li g n i t I s ac f r ie n d . me wa d o n s a , r d e e ca r r o th o ke d s Ken’s b lo f e o s m k o hb a c y in g , s ck flas a w a s cr b s t d i h k ro ug Some m e it b r o F . n o t h in g in g u p . w o r h t sta r te d

The kids started laughing, then we all kept walking to school.

Inside the class, Mrs Flasmen said, “Good morning class.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Flasmen,” we all said together.

at day forward th the door and from th

Then she closed war zone. looked like a bloody

e world sounded an

d

But none of the teachers taught about life after school.

I got all F’s because getting an A was meaningless if I get killed out of school.

I was becoming a survivor at the age of 8 years old.

Do It s e

Ha p

p in

e ss

su p

p os ed s l ik to l a st B ut e w e ? ha v th e ee ho p So v ery es we c h e o f h a r ig h t ppi t r is h ne s o b e m th e s ad v is i ma on k a nd e s us g tr y no t l a d , to b e sa d

em

. (B

ut w

il l it

last

)

Do Pain supposed to last?

I’m in jail, the system way of punishing me by chains.

I just come from hell, I feel no pain, GOD fills me with love, now here comes the pain.

I express my Godly love to my brother’s in jail. They think I’m a lame.

The moment I found love, I found pain.

But I’ll rather be a lame in pain, Then to have No love from above

Brother Treadwell I Am From I am from America From jobs and paychecks My dad and mom, a big red house, a full family I am from human life Love, hate, rise and fall I’m from Charles and Gladys From eating family dinners and playing board games And from an overprotective, caring family I’m from “You, crazy as hell” And from “You smart big Nell” I’m from I believe GOD is in full control, no matter what I’m from Chicago From soul food, watermelon and fried chicken with hot sauce From Charles Treadwell I am from started off innocent living in hell

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