Gaines Center Spring 2023 Newsletter

GAINES CENTER for the HUMANITIES

IN THIS ISSUE IN THIS ISSUE

Letter from the Gaines Director

Welcome to the Big Blue Big Top!

The 2023 Lafayette Seminar: Slavery in Central Kentucky

The 2023 Breathitt Lecture with Hayden Osborne

Celebrating our Seniors

The 2023 New York Art Experience!

Alumni Spotlight: Jim Seaver (class of 2004)

Save the Date: 2023 Bale Boone Symposium

Letterfromthe GAINES DIRECTOR GAINES DIRECTOR

In the life cycle of the academic year, May is always a period of transition. At the end of final exams, students move almost instantaneously to their new status. Student lay down their pencils, close their laptops or hit submit on their research papers, and freshmen become sophomores, sophomore cross the halfway mark to junior year, and juniors are transformed to seniors. This moment of transition is even more sharp for graduating students. You will find in this newsletter our annual report on the plans of the senior fellows. We ask them each where are they going and what they will do. The examples of the alumni of the Gaines Fellows program tell us they will be leaders wherever they land, but first they must make a move.

The recognition that students are just moving through on their way to the careers and lives that will mark most of their lives is even more in mind this year. The theme for the 2022-2023 academic year was MOVEMENT. We used this year to focus broadly on movement as both a physical and political concept. The students in the junior seminar learned from scholars about the history of sport, how archaeologist use artifacts to study people across time and performed some traditional Indian dance. The Gaines Center sponsored a workshop with the UK Circus Club and Professor Meg Wallace who teaches a course on philosophy and the circus. Students and folks from the community met in Buell Armory and performed circus skills while learning of its relevance to how philosophers have understood what it means to be good. One of the highlights for many, and me personally, was hearing and learning from renowned dancer and choreographer Bill T. Jones. Bill T. Jones offered an expansive understanding of movement both in his life and his comments to all those gathered. Famous for his fearless and unique approach to dance, Jones is equally bold in the subject matter he undertakes through movement and the human body. I continue to think about his interaction with an audience member on the possibilities of the body and dance in the face of disability and aging.

I had my own lesson in the need to move with your students and learn why the things and people that are important to them should matter to us all. As with each year, we had several very good applications for the Breathitt Lecture for Undergraduate Research. I admit that I was initially biased when I saw a very rigorous and coherent description of the links between Romantic poetry, Wadsworth, and Taylor Swift. I quickly realized. It’s me. I was the problem. The best part of this job is the opportunity to engage with smart young people who push you to think critically about what is happening now and its connection to the past. I, along with the audience, were able to listen to a Hayden Osbourne, a senior English Education major, explore the links between Wadsworth, the Lake District in the England, and the lyrics of Taylor Swift. Hayden’s deep engagement with the Romantics and Swift’s lyrics won over the skeptical and informed those who knew and loved the artist.

Letterfromthe GAINES DIRECTOR GAINES DIRECTOR

His deft demonstration of the way the important themes of Romantic poets played out in Taylor Swifts songwriting provided a glimpse into the amazing talent he will bring to the classroom as a high school English teacher.

For the Lafayette Symposium, we partnered with the Commonwealth Institute for Black Studies (CIBS) to feature the Slavery In Central Kentucky Initiative led by associate professor in the University of Kentucky department of history, Dr. Vanessa Holden, who also taught in the junior seminar in 2019. The Central Kentucky Slavery Initiative uses both archival and digital humanities to document the history of Black and Indigenous people at the University of Kentucky and the region. In addition to a lecture from Dr. Amrita Meyers about her new book on Julia Chin, we also held a day-long symposium at the Lexington Public Library where scholars, librarians, students, and city workers discussed how this initiative is making place the history of slaver and freedom in the Bluegrass region. One of the projects featured was the Freedom on the Move historical database, which uses UK’s vast archives of Kentucky newspapers to document ads posted by slavers seeking the recovery of Black people who self-emancipated by running away. The Lafayette Symposium’s intent is to highlight humanities in the local community. We were joined by over 100 people who came to learn about how this Initiative is contributing to our understanding of life for both enslaved and free Black people in Fayette County, central Kentucky, and the nation.

The theme next year is Myths and Monsters. We are honored to have acclaimed writer George Saunders give the Bale Boone Lecture at the Kentucky Theater in the fall. We also have a highly impressive list of faculty members signed on to teach in the junior seminar from disciplines such as law, Chinese studies, the College of Agriculture Food and Ecology as well as a local artist. As with the previous themes, we try to amplify the work of those on our campus and beyond who are engaged in important work on a singular idea while not losing sight of the broad mission of the Gaines Center as an advocate for the Humanities all over campus and in the community.

This year long meditation on movement has been one of the most inspiring in my time at the Gaines Center because it forced me to confront my strengths and my limitations both physically and intellectually. The Gaines Center is a place, when it is at its best, that stretches those who come to it be they a fellow, someone on campus, or a member of the community. I hope that you all will stretch and move with me this summer and we ready ourselves for a fall of constructing/deconstructing myths and perhaps slaying a few monsters along the way.

we're always looking for new and interesting ways to engage with our fellows, friends, and the wider community So when Dr Meg Wallace approached us with a proposal for a circus arts workshop we...well, we immediately swung ourselves into this high-wire opportunity!

Dr. Wallace, an Associate Professor in the Philosophy Department, teaches a hugely popular Circus and Philosophy class which inspired one of her students, Jess Farace, to start the UK Circus Club: a first-of-its-kind organization offering UK students the opportunity to gain firsthand experience of the circus arts. As the Circus Club started to get off the ground (literally and metaphorically), Meg saw the potential in offering a similar experience to both the UK and Lexington communities--and the Gaines Center was the perfect partner to make that happen!

What a magical occasion it was! Participants ranged from 6 to...quite a bit older than 6, with a wide range of physical abilities and skills. But our instructors balanced (see what we did there) their participants with the effortless grace usually reserved for the flying trapeze

Circus Arts Instructor Jesse Alford taught participants how to juggle with a wide variety of items while, at the other end of the hall, Jessica Johnson demonstrated the beauty of aerial silks

As you can see from the photos we've shared, our participants had a marvelous time, many of them attempting skills well out of their comfort zones "I learned that it is okay to fail," one participant said, after the workshop, with another participant sharing that the workshop "stretched my brain as well as my body." Universally, our participants were both surprised and impressed with their accomplishments

We're hoping that we can offer the Circus Arts Workshop again in the future. If you're even a little bit interested, check out the video below for a peek at this year's circus shenanigans!

"I learned that it's okay to fail."

An enslaved woman, Julia Ann Chinn was born between 1790 and 1797 in the Bluegrass region of Kentucky. Home to the state’s largest free Black population, the Bluegrass was also the site of Kentucky’s biggest plantations, dedicated to growing hemp, wheat, and corn. In the decade during which Chinn was born, slavery blossomed in Kentucky. The region’s earliest white settlers brought their human property with them from their home states to help grow the economy and “tame the frontier,” although the status of enslaved people wasn’t settled until 1792. That year, Kentucky became the fifteenth state to join the Union and formally legalized slavery by including the institution in Article IX of their new Constitution.

The central Bluegrass counties experienced the largest Black population growth as a result of this and other measures. And while these counties were primarily rural, most had a town center where Black people made up a sizeable proportion of the population. This included Lexington, Georgetown, in Scott County, where Julia grew up, and Frankfort, the state capitol. As our keynote, delivered by scholar Amrita Myers reveals, slavery was vitally important to the political, social, and economic life of the region that dominated the life of Julia Chinn and thousands of other Black persons, enslaved and free, down through the nineteenth century.

Dr. Amrita Myers (Indiana University) presented the keynote lecture, "Julia Chinn's Old Kentucky Home: Slavery in Central Kentucky, "

A packed house gathered at the Farish Theater, Lexington Central Library for the second day of the Lafayette Seminar--a panel event moderated by Dr. Vanessa Holden (Department of History).

Opening the seminar, Shea Brown (Deputy County Clerk) and Dr. Kathy Newfont (Department of History) discussed their work for the Digital Access Project as a means of preserving and digitizing Fayette County's rich African American History.

Brown and Newfont were followed by Jennifer Bartlett, Reinette Jones, and Kopana Terry who represented University of Kentucky Libraries, and shared their critical work on Freedom on the Move, a project that archives fugitives from slavery through Kentucky's historical newspapers.

Closing out the morning, Crystal Gregory (Fiber Artist/UK College of Fine Arts) discussed her work in the Material Studies Lab, connecting hemp, slavery, and fiber arts

The 2023 Lafayette Seminar was presented in collaboration with the Commonwealth Institute for Black Studies

PRESENTED BY HAYDEN OSBORNE

Hayden Osborne, a secondary English education and Lewis Honors College senior from Pikeville, Kentucky, was selected to give the 2023 Edward T. Breathitt Undergraduate Lectureship in the Humanities. Osborne’s lecture, “Take Me to the Lakes: folklore, evermore, and Wordsworth,” engaged a packed house with its imaginative exploration of how the lyrics of Taylor Swift's eighth and ninth albums, "folklore" and "evermore," take inspiration from the works of William Wordsworth. By the end of the evening, Osborne had persuaded us that Swift has truly established herself as a “new romantic."

In the spring of 2021, Taylor Swift became the first woman to win the Grammy Award for Album of the Year three times, winning in 2010, 2016 and 2021. This achievement has made music critics, pop culture scholars and her fans deem her one of the most influential artists of the current generation.

While critics and fans alike have often reduced Swift to identities such as pop star, serial dater, or revenge-hungry femme fatale, Osborne's lecture presented Swift as an artist first, through a discussion of how Swift views her own work and through her writing practice, utilizing moments from interviews, documentaries, and awards show speeches.

Osborne examined the intertextuality that both "folklore" and "evermore" have with the poems of William Wordsworth--as he pointed out, this is just one way of considering her artistic merit. As the evening progressed, Osborne interrogated--with an engaging sense of humor--how Swift's songs: “seven,” “marjorie,” “the lakes” and “willow,” reflect the same themes of childhood, imagination and the natural world seen in Wordsworth's “We Are Seven,” “Lucy Gray,” and “Lines Composed...Above Tintern Abbey.” Osborne presented Swift in a new light: yes, she is a businesswoman and a brilliant performer, but she is first and foremost, one of the most prolific artists of her generation.

Tim McGraw

White Horse

Treacherous Call It What You Want

It's Time to Go

celebratingour SENIORS

Riley Droppleman

Biology; English

Athens, AL

Thesis

"Writing New Normals: A Study of American Pandemic Fiction in the Wake of COVID-19"

Thesis Chair: Michelle Sizemore

After Gaines?

"I'll be staying at UK to complete a second degree in English."

Best Gaines Memory

"Making hot chocolate to beat the cold during our seminar with Dr. Roorda. We were sitting outside, wrapped in blankets; we were all a little miserable, but I wouldn't have wanted to freeze with any other group of people."

Abigail Eplin

Seconday English Education

Barboursville, WV

Thesis

"The People We Carry"

Thesis Chair: Elizabeth Connors-Manke

After Gaines?

"I'll be joining the MIC program here at UK to pursue a Masters in Education for Secondary English."

Best Gaines Memory

"Our orientation in Berea. Most of the seniors ended up in a bookstore together and sat in an alcove where a resident artist's shop was set up. Also getting to know the juniors that weekend was really special."

Sophie Gershtenson

Interiors; Historic Preservation

Lexington, KY

Thesis

"The Crossings: Adaptive Use of Wonderland Mall, Balcones Heights, Texas"

Thesis Chair: Patrick Lee Lucas

After Gaines?

"I've accepted a full-time position at EOP Architects in Lexington where I'll be working as an Interior Designer."

Best Gaines Memory

"It's tough to choose, but I think the Red River Gorge hiking/cabin trip still takes the cake!"

Brandy Jackson

Merchandising, Apparel & Textiles; Journalism

Atlanta, GA

Thesis

"Luxury & Sustainability"

Thesis Chair: RayeCarol Cavender

After Gaines?

"My double-degree still has another year to go, so I'll be at UK for a little while longer."

Best Gaines Memory

"NYC! I absolutely loved that my first time in New York City was with my cohort. We explored together, ate great food, and laughed a lot. I didn't know what to expect from this experience, but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

Felix Lowery

Landscape Architecture

Jackson, TN

Thesis

"Restorative Landscapes and Their Potential Application to the University of Kentucky Campus" Thesis Chair: Ned Crankshaw

After Gaines?

"I'll be moving to Seattle for work!"

Best Gaines Memory

"Our orientation at Shaker Village! It was an amazing chance to get away from stress and connect with my cohort."

Mihir Kale

Politcal Science; Peace Studies; Spanish

Louisville, KY

Thesis

"El papel lo aguanta todo? Linguistic Nationalism in Hispanic Constitutions"

Thesis Chair: Yanira Paz

After Gaines?

"I'll be gaining work experience at a think tank!"

Best Gaines Memory

"Our hike to Red River Gorge!"

Christopher Lucas

Finance

Santa Rosa Beach, FL

Thesis

"Capitalizing on the Screen: Analyzing Financial Narratives in Popular Media"

Thesis Chair: Andrew Milward

After Gaines?

"I'll be working at Morgan Stanley as an Investment Banking Analyst."

Best Gaines Memory

"Connecting with Ouita Michel and planning the Feast!"

Alexandra Nolletti

Neuroscience

Wooster, OH

Thesis

"How Slow This Old Moon Wanes"

Thesis Chair: Meg Wallace

After Gaines?

"I'll be moving to Columbus this fall to pursue my MD at THE Ohio State University's College of Medicine."

Best Gaines Memory

"Making crepes at the Feast!"

Luke Schlake

Public Administration; Economics

Hamilton, OH

Thesis

"The Economics of C.S. Lewis: The Paradox of Rationality in 'The Abolition of Man'"

Thesis Chair: Daniel Kirchner

After Gaines?

"After receiving multiple grad school acceptances I've decided to attend the RAND Corporation's Pardee Graduate School in Santa Monica, CA, to complete my M.Phil of Policy Analysis."

Best Gaines Memory

"The Feast was one of my favorite times. That's when I realized the fellows felt more like family to me than academic peers."

Even as we say goodbye to our seniors, we look forward to welcoming our new Gaines Fellows for Fall 2023. Here's just a little bit about them...

FELLOWS SELECTED

FROM APPLICATIONS

3.9

FINE ARTS

ARTS AND SCIENCES

BUSINESS

AGRICULTURE

DESIGN

LEWIS HONORS

THE 2023

art

O B J E C T S

If you would like to support the Gaines Center and humanities programming at UK, you may donate year-round by searching for "Gaines Center" at uky.networkforgood.com

Senior Fellows, Gaines alumni and UK alumni enjoyed an evening of catching up at the always-fun Jack Demsey's in NYC!

2023 ALUMNI REUNION

"It was such a gift"

Jim Seaver (class of 2004) was one of the last cohort of Gaines Fellows to know Gaines founder, John Gaines, personally. Current fellows Leena Haider and Jessica Miller invited Jim back to Bingham Davis House to ask him about his time in Gaines and his life since.

LH

Could you tell us a little bit about yourself, growing up in Kentucky, and your journey coming to UK?

JS

I was in the class of 2004, here at the Gaines Center. I'm from Lexington originally; I went to Lafayette High School and ended up at UK because, well, for starters, they gave me a Singletary Scholarship. I was a history major with a geography minor and I went through the Honors Program. And I have really fond memories of my time here, especially my association with the Gaines Center. I think of all my memories from my time as an undergrad, and where my heart lies, when I think about that area of my life, is the Gaines Center. And I know that sounds very trite, but UK was and still is such a big sprawling campus and a big entity. So many of the buildings that I remember have changed, but the fact that the Gaines Center is still substantially the way I remember it feels like a homecoming.

LH

What prompted you to apply for the Gaines Fellowship? How did you hear about it?

JS

From the time I was a freshman I was very fortunate to work with faculty who knew of the Gaines Center and said, "You're the kind of student they're looking for." I think several of them are still here:

Francie Chassen-Lopez in the history department; Rich Schein in the Geography Department— they both suggested Gaines to me. It was surreal to walk into this building earlier. I round the corner and I see a photograph of Jane Gentry Vance she was my very first Honors Program teacher; it was just surreal to see her again and suddenly be whisked back in my mind to be in my freshman year in her honors class in Boyd Hall. And to think about who I was and about people like her and Rebecca Gayle Howell (who is in the photograph across from her) and the influence they had upon kids like me. You know, when you are teaching at a university level, students come and students go and you may be close to them, but they're only there for a moment. But when you ' re a student, and you really click with a faculty member, you remember that association and the role they played in your development. It's wonderful to me that both of them are commemorated here in those photographs.

FACING PAGE: The Gaines class of 2004 pictured outside Commonwealth

House Lauren Argo, Eileen Broomall, Melanie Fee, Dustin Harris, Thomas Johnston, Andy Lewis, Aumaine Mott, Rickey Pack, Lori Ann Prater, Lesli Proffitt, Jim Seaver, & Mark Youssef

"the fact that the Gaines Center is still substantially the way I remember it feels like a homecoming"

So, how did the experiences in your undergraduate years affect where you headed afterwards?

JS

I knew that I was going to graduate school for something; if I could be a professional student my whole life I would do it in a heartbeat. I know that sounds crazy for you all who are in the middle of crunch time finishing papers and exams! But I loved being a student; I loved hanging out with really interesting peers and faculty and soaking it all in. So I had this idea: I'm going to live the life of the mind. I kind of wish I'd taken a year off after I graduated, just to figure out what I wanted to do. But I thought, "Oh, I was good at history as an undergrad; I should keep doing history." Graduate school was so different intellectually, emotionally, and socially from the very nurturing intellectual environment that I'd known here. I think I had assumed grad school would be like the Gaines Center, and it's not. That was a bittersweet transition, but a lot of the thinking and development that happened in Gaines influenced the historian that I became. After I graduated from UK I went to Indiana University for my Masters degree in history and, years later, my PhD in history. I minored in folklore, so I'm a folklorist as well, and still very involved in the folklore academic community. It’s interesting to look back at that trajectory and see that the scholar and the person that I am now. That journey began in this building.

LH

You are a Community Engagament Coordinator for the Kentucky Historical Society. Did you think that this is the work you'd be doing? Or did you think you were going to go into education? What were your career plans?

JS

I had several life changing experiences in graduate school. One of them is that I got to live abroad, in Germany, in 2006 and 2007. And then in 2008, I interned at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, DC. When I was at the National Gallery, I was part of a larger ecosystem of public facing humanities work and the people that I worked with seemed to have a fairly good division of work and life, something you don't always see in academia. That balance was appealing to me. I worked in publishing for three years, which has its own crazy kind of environment. After I left publishing, I fell into the wine industry somewhat haphazardly. It was a fluke. But I remember when that opportunity opened up thinking that I could learn a lot from it. The kind of spontaneity and curiosity that I honed as a Gaines Fellow is what made that opportunity so appealing to me. So, I spent 11 years working for the largest winery in the United States that's not located along the West Coast; it’s based in Bloomington, Indiana. I was doing wine education and I was a wine ambassador. I was teaching, but in a different setting. I also developed an interest in the history and culture of alcohol in the United States, so I taught a very popular course at Indiana University on that topic. About a year ago, though, I was kind of looking for a transition. I was looking to get closer to my family in the Lexington area. The Community Engagement Coordinator job opened up at the Kentucky Historical Society. One of the reasons they hired me is because I had one foot in

academia and could "walk that walk and talk that talk," but I had also been in the public sector (when I was working at the winery), meeting people where they are and simultaneously representing an organization. Those two skill sets really came together well for the work that I'm doing now as the community engagement coordinator. I have three main roles within KHS, one of which is constituent relations. When people have a history problem it's usually very practical like, "Hey, I'm trying to figure out where my ancestors genealogical records." I help with that. I coordinate the state's Historic Marker Program. And my third role is with cemetery issues. That can run the gauntlet of "hey, how do I clean an old headstone?" to "what are the legal stipulations for developing a site that has a historic cemetery on it, or, "Oh, my God, we were digging, and we hit something, and we don't know what to do!" I connect those folks to resources that can help them out. That’s another strength that the Gaines Center really developed: being a generalist. I think it can be easy to have one thing that you hone in on, and you ' re the expert on, but how often can you pivot? And know, within a week, a whole different field that you didn't know about before and know enough to give good advice to people! But also to know when to pull back and acknowledge your own limitations or lack of knowledge. It was so humbling as a Gaines Fellow. And I say this with genuine admiration for this program. I was a Singletary Scholar, and all my professors during my freshman and sophomore year told me, " you ' re brilliant, you know you ' re getting an A,” and then I get to the Gaines Center, and I look around, and think "I am the idiot in this room. " I had imposter syndrome. It was also humbling in the way it needed to be, for me to realize that there were people in this space who were experts on

things that I was never going to be an expert on, and learning to rely on them and collaboratively engage with some of the things that we ' re working through, and know who had strengths that we could lean on. And, also, when to talk and when to shut up. And I'm still working on that.

LH

You learned to rely on others, to approach your cases differently, being a generalist and making sure that you ' re being as aware and respectful as possible. That must have been important going into your work with the Kentucky historical roadside markers. How did you begin working on this project?

JS

The Kentucky historical roadside markers program is the main public program in my office. There are over 2400 historical markers throughout the state that date back to the mid 1930s. On the one hand, I'm just trying to keep the existing markers standing upright. I'm also working on putting new markers out on the landscape. There are three that I dedicated last fall, right after I came on board with the Kentucky Historical Society. The points of contact for these nominations invest well over a year of time and effort in getting these things put up, so to see these people grinning from ear to ear witnessing their history being commemorated is amazing. It's not always easy history; it's not always happy history, but the state is giving some recognition to those stories.

"that's another strength that the Gaines Center really developed: being a generalist"

History is such a hot button topic, from what curriculum is being taught to the controversy of removing or replacing statues. How has that influenced your work? And what advice would you give to people when they're in these discussions?

JS

History is not always easy. It's not always fun. You're not always going to agree with it. It's an ongoing discussion or a debate. And sometimes it’s an argument about what happened in the past. You need to look for reliable data; you learn to read silences and try to read between the lines. If people look to history only to prop up a self-congratulatory narrative, they're not approaching it for all the right reasons And if you look at a place like Kentucky, there are a lot of difficult narratives that have been mapped upon this terrain. With the marker program that I manage, I want people to have some sort of engagement with that, to get a sense of where they fit within the larger timeline of this space. Historical markers are part of this larger culture. And this larger debate that we ' re having right now about what does it mean to engage with the humanities? I think people need to be challenged to engage with the wider world. And the Gaines Center does that for its students and with its public programming I look at these posters here [in the seminar room of Bingham Davis House]. Imani Perry. Nikky Finney. Rhiannon Giddens I wanted to drive back for that talk so badly. They're all doing phenomenal work. And I think they get it: this idea that history is not always easy, you should be challenged. And you should also be challenged to listen. That's another thing that I learned at the Gaines Center just because I have very strong feelings doesn't mean that I'm the only voice in the room. And sometimes I’m especially mindful of the fact that at this point in my life I'm a middle-aged white guy and I should listen, and really listen, try to see people for who they are, and meet them where they are, and then see if my way of thinking about something needs changing. My hope is that the historical marker program starts conversations. I always tell people that it's the beginning of the conversation, not the end. My chief goal, as the coordinator of the Historical Marker Program for the state, is to create educational encounters. When people start attaching their own emotions to a historical marker, and turning it into a monument, or a statue, or a trophy, or advertising, or even a gift for somebody else, that's when it starts to get problematic. But being a part of this program means that I cannot escape the larger debates that are going on in society about monuments and memorials. That has been challenging. Every day I learn a little bit more, and I learn to navigate those waters a little bit better, but I'm still getting there.

"just because I have very strong feelings doesn't mean that I'm the only voice in the room "

Photo: Brittany Petty

If you could only record one single moment as a Gaines fellow in your memoir, what would it be?

I was one of the last Gaines Fellows to have a personal relationship with John Gaines before he died. I was thinking about him today; he still looms large in my mind as this intellectual figure, this very cultured Renaissance thinker. He was wealthy, but he also had a sense that he needed to use his wealth to foster other people who didn't have access to the privileges that he did. He could be intimidating as a thinker! I remember being at a party at his home, a dinner party. And he was in his later years so he would often just sit and watch the room and witness all these people coming together. It was like a salon, if you ' re familiar with that. He would listen to the conversations happening around him.

He had a brilliant art collection that went up for auction in the 1980s and I actually have a catalog from that art sale somewhere in my own book collection. But he was just an impressive human being. He was also very down to earth. Once we got to know him and his wife, Joan, another phenomenal human being, the fellows and I cooked spaghetti for them here in Bingham Davis House. We served them Crystal Light lemonade. And they were so nice about it. I have such fond memories of them.

"Colleen Horne, who was the Gaines administrative whirlwind at the time, came over to me, elbowed me in the ribs, and said, 'His name is on this program. And he's sitting alone at his own party. Go talk to him.' And I went and sat down. And I remember thinking 'where do I begin?' I had not really spoken to him one on one before. And I just said, 'So, I hear you ' ve done some work with the Breeders Cup?' And he said, 'Yes, I started it.' And there's a silence. And then I just say 'cool."

When he passed away, in the spring of 2005, I was in my first year of grad school. I was ailing; I was not doing well in grad school. My sense of self had been rocked and I remember just thinking, "Jim, you ' re a fake, you ’ re a bad intellectual; what are you even doing?" And I hear that Mr. Gaines is not well, and we have been told, "if you ' ve ever had something you want to say to him, now ' s the time." And I wrote a card—he didn't know how appreciative I was for this experience. I could get choked up right now talking about this. But I wrote a card. And it arrived not long before he died. He was with Dan Rowland, who was the director of the Gaines Center at the time, and a few other trusted friends, and he said to his wife, "Joan, go get that card." So, they read it, and they're all emotional. He passes not long thereafter. And I find out and I send an apology note to Joan, and it says, "I'm so sorry, I cannot make it back for the funeral." But then Dan Rowland called me and said, "John Gaines wanted you to represent your class at his funeral." So I never sent that note to Joan. I went to the funeral. I got to read at his funeral, sharing something he had written. And, yes, it was proof that in this place he fostered the community that surrounds it, he fostered the worldview that we get from it. It was not only beyond these walls, but it was beyond him, and Joan, and all the other people who are associated with it. So it was such a gift. I'm just going to leave it at that. It was a gift. I think as you go out into the world, you ' re going to see that the two years you spent here are going to cast a long shadow in the best possible way. And I think about moments when I was a Gaines Fellow where I was uncomfortable, I was angry, maybe I'd been bickering with one of my fellows, something like that. But I was learning and I was growing. And this place was a crucible that really did turn me into the person that I became. And what a gift.

Photo of John Gaines courtesy of Dan Rowland

"He didn't know how appreciative I was for this experience"

I want to end it right there. I'm going to be thinking about this message you just gave me, because my last question was asking for advice. You just gave me advice.

If I had to give advice to Gaines Fellows, I would say first of all, comparison is the thief of joy. It’s so easy to look at other Gaines Fellows and think, "Oh, they're getting accolades and they're doing cool things and who am I? What am I doing?" We're all on separate journeys. I think it's important not to compare yourself too much. And to acknowledge that we will each find different ways to impact the communities that we live in. And I look at the Fellows who I knew, who were within a few years of me and none of us are famous. And, you know, I truly thought "I'm going to go off and I'm going to be the hero." No, I'm not. I'm a 41 year old dude who's putting up historical markers. But I feel like I'm making a difference in the communities that I'm moving in. And I think I'm on this larger journey, where I'm hoping that when I die, like John Gaines, I can look back and say, "I did enough for people."