Colorado Conservatory of Dance
Step 4: Friends Help Friends Ways to Get Help for Friends in Need
Explain to students that part of friendship is helping out those in need, whether they are your friends or not. The word “friend” should be used interchangeably with “other children,” and students are expected to help their peers and classmates when they are in trouble. If a student sees another child who is upset, mad, or worried, they can lend a helping hand. Use the CARES strategies as tools for helping out another student who is being bullied or left out. C= Creative Problem Solving - a bystander can use this strategy by helping two children talk to one another and find a solution to the problem. The bystander could witness the bully teasing the target and say “Sally, some of the things that you said to Jenny are mean and untrue. Maybe you should try giving her a compliment instead.” A= Adult Help - children should use this strategy only after trying to solve the problem themselves, if the target seems extremely afraid, or the situation is very dangerous. Students should find the nearest adult and tell them about the bullying situation, what techniques were tried already, and that adult help is needed. R= Relate and Join - the principal of this strategy is “strength in numbers”. By joining in on the target’s side and standing up for them, the bystander takes power away from the bully. The helper could say something like “I like the fact that Billy looks different from you or me. Could you imagine if we all looked alike? How boring would that be?” E= Empathy - this strategy involves sensing how a target feels during an observed bullying incident, and empathizing with them. A bystander can comfort the target after observing the incident, and say “I’m so sorry Joey did that to you. You must feel very sad and upset. I understand how you feel, because he made me feel that way too once.” S= Stand Up and Speak Out - This technique requires the most courage, but can also be the most effective. Bystanders should be expected to speak out against bully-ing and let others know that they will not tolerate bullying at their school. Bystanders can say things like “You need to stop saying things like that to Ann because she is our friend. We do not tolerate bullying at our school so you need to stop teasing her right now.” Extension Activity: Create a poster for displaying the protective strategies of CARES. Have students show examples of each situation by writing or drawing pictures by each word to demonstrate the steps.
Learning to Help Others
“Tour Guide” is an exercise that helps students learn to build trust and cooperation with one another. First ask for two volunteers to come forward. Pick one leader and one follower. The follower will stand with their arms out in front of them with their eyes closed. The leader will take both of their hands facing them. Now instruct the leader to begin slowly taking the follower through the room using verbal cues such as “walk straight forward,” or “now we’re going to turn.” After your volunteers are done demonstrating, pair students off and have them select a leader and a follower. Give students a few minutes to explore guiding and trusting one other and then switch roles. Give students some guidance as they perform this activity by saying things like “be sure to move extremely slowly with no sudden starts or stops,” or “Help guide your partner with your voice so they know what is coming next.”
10
