Step 1: Learning the Story (Page

Step 1: Learning the Story

Synopsis of the Ballet My Secret Bully Students learn the basic story of My Secret Bully to prepare for what they will see in the theater or on film. My Secret Bully is a book written by Trudy Ludwig. With Trudy Ludwig’s permission and guidance, CCD has also used the sequel to this book, Confessions of a Former Bully, to present a full lesson on anti-bullying strategies. Here is the synopsis of CCD’s story:

Katie and Monica have known each other since kindergarten. They have spent a lot of time together because they like doing the same kinds of things. Monica likes being around Katie…when she’s nice to her. But there are times when she can be just plain mean. It all started a few months ago, during school recess, when Monica noticed Katie whispering to a group of girls while looking at her. When Monica went up to them to ask what they were talking about, some of the other girls giggled like it really was something, which made Monica feel bad. Later, when Monica was playing with Sarah, Katie grabbed Sarah and pulled her away. “If you play with her,” Katie whispered in Monica’s ear, “I won’t come over to your house tomorrow.” Confused and conflicted, Monica continued to play with Sarah thinking Monica was just having a bad day. Everything seemed to get worse, though. It got to the point where no one would play with Monica at recess. She wondered if there was something wrong with her. She felt like no one liked her, and she wondered if they all made fun of her behind her back. Finally, she confided in her mom and told her how hard it is to be friends with Katie. Monica’s mom used role-playing to help Monica know what to say. Mom acted like she was Katie, and Monica got to practice out loud what she wanted to say, without sounding like a bully herself. The next day, Monica was ready. The moment Katie saw her, she began whispering to her circle of friends. Monica stared at her straight in the eyes and said, “Katie, does it make you feel good to make me feel bad? Because friends don’t do that to friends.” Monica knew that Katie could no longer hurt her. The next day Katie was sent to the Principal’s office. Also invited were Katie’s parents who were very disappointed to know that Katie had been bullying Monica. The Principal declared that Katie had chosen to wear the “bullying hat.” He asked her to think about how her behavior made Monica feel. The Principal said there would be consequences for choosing to wear the “bullying hat,” and Katie would need to begin thinking about what she did wrong and to write down ways to handle herself differently. In addition, Katie was required to meet with the school counselor once per week to learn more about “bullying behaviors” and how to be a better friend. Finally, Katie was required to reflect on how she might make up for the hurt she had caused when bullying other kids. The school counselor taught Katie a lot and had her keep a journal about everything she was learning. The first thing she learned was what bullying behavior looked like: l Bullying can be physical - when someone hurts your body on purpose; l Bullying can be verbal - name calling; taunting; threatening to cause harm; l Bullying can be social - laughing at someone, ignoring them, making faces, or excluding someone from a game, outting, or the lunch table; l Bullying can be controlling - telling friends what they can and can’t do; and, l Bullying can be cyber - using the internet, cell phones, cameras, and text messaging to hurt others. Bullying happens whenever someone hurts your body, your feelings, your reputation, or your friendships ON PURPOSE. Next, the school counselor taught Katie about her “Totally Awesome Empower Tools!” These were tools that a Target could use when someone says something mean on purpose. Here are some examples: l “Stop!” l “Why? Why? Why?” l Walk Away l “So,” “Whatever,” “Who cares?” l Agree

After learning so much about what bullying looks and feels like, Katie spent a lot of time reflecting on her behaviors and what she wished she could’ve done differently. She would’ve helped all her friends to be kind to each other, rather than telling them who to be friends with. She wouldn’t have laughed at Monica when she fell at recess, and instead she would have helped her up and made sure she was okay. She would not have used her cell phone to pass around embarrassing photos of Monica. Finally, she wouldn’t make fun of Monica and get her entire circle of friends to laugh along. She wished she could go back in time and do everything differently.

Katie decided to write a letter to Monica to let her know how very sorry she was. Monica read the letter, and while it made her feel good to know that Katie was sorry, she decided that she no longer needed to be friends with Katie. Monica said ‘thank you,’ and went off to the library to check out a new book to read over the weekend.

Monica had learned that she didn’t need to be friends with someone just because they apologized. Katie had also learned that it is important to apologize - it makes both the Target and the person who chose to wear the “bullying hat” feel better - but it’s important to let the Target decide if a continued friendship is right for them or not.

Read a Story

Read My Secret Bully, written by Trudy Ludwig to your students, or have them read it silently. As a picture book with simple, easy to read words, have your students pay special attention to the way the character choosing to use bullying behaviors interacts with friends and peers. Ask your students, “Has anyone ever not been very nice to you? How did it make you feel? Have you ever felt like you didn’t fit in? What did you do?”

Movement Activity

“Stand Up if You…” is a very fun exercise for developing awareness of each person’s individuality. It starts out with the teacher leading the activity by saying “We are going to play a game together, and I want you to think really hard about what makes you special and different from other people. Have you ever seen two people who look exactly alike?” If students say yes to this, then ask them “Were their haircuts exactly the same? Do they have the same likes and dislikes?”

Now lead students into an activity that shows we all have similarities and differences that make us unique. Have students follow your directions very carefully:

Stand up if you….Have brown hair Sit down if you….Have two eyes Stand up if you….Have a brother

Try a different action every time such as ‘Rub your belly if you…,’ ‘Turn in a circle if you…,’ ‘Jump in the air if you…’ After students get used to the game, start to tie in aspects of bullying. Say things like “Wiggle your body if you like to share with others” or “Go line up if you like to include everyone.”