Step 3: Tools for Targets Techniques for Students to Use Against Bullying
Talk to students about tools they can use when other students are not being friendly. First, ask students to talk about a time that they were left out of an activity, or a time that someone used words that were not very kind. Ask students: How did it make you feel? How did you respond to the other person? What could you have done differently to change the situation? Begin teaching students some of the tools they can use in a situation when kids are not being so nice. The best tools for a student caught in a bullying situation are the HA, HA, SO strategies. H= Help - Find a nearby teacher or peer to help you. Use this strategy when help is available and willing. Ask for nearby peers to help by saying “Could you help me ask David to stop taking my lunch from me?” You can also use this strategy by anticipating a bullying situation, and asking friends to stay nearby or asking a teacher to watch out for you. A= Assert Yourself - This is the best strategy to try first in a bullying situation. Look the bully or bullies square in the eye and tell them assertively that you don’t like what they are doing. For example, “I don’t like it when you make fun of my clothing and try to keep me from making friends. It is mean, unfair, and it hurts my feelings.” This strategy should not be used if the target feels scared or afraid for any reason. H= Humor - This is a good way for students to de-escalate the conflict and bring reality to the situation. For example, if someone makes fun of you because of your appearance or because of something you’re wearing, you can use sarcasm and say “Oh, thanks for noticing my new (haircut, dress, shoes), I really like it too, it makes me look really cool and unique.” A= Avoid - This is the best strategy to use when the target is alone and no other help is available. There are two ways to use this strategy. One is to avoid a bully physically by walking a different route home from school, or by staying away from the “bully hangouts” on the playground. Another is to avoid situations that may provoke a bully by playing with a group of friends close to supervision or by walking away and not responding to a bully that is teasing or provoking you. S= Self Talk - This strategy is a way to keep your self-esteem up when someone else is calling you names or putting you down. By keeping positive thoughts in your head, it helps to block out the mean things a bully might say, and helps keep you from being targeted again. O= Own It - In this strategy, by agreeing with the bully, or by responding in the opposite way than they intended, it helps diffuse some of the power the bully has. Targets can use statements like, “I agree, these boots really are ugly!” or “Yes, my skin is darker than yours, but that’s because I have a very unique cultural heritage. Would you like me to tell you a little bit about the place where my parents were born?”
Draw a Picture
Have students draw a picture of what they might do if they got stuck in a bullying situation using crayons, markers, or colored pencils and construction paper. Remind students of the HA HA SO strategies for protecting against bullying. They could draw someone going to get an adult for help, walking away from the situation, or even confronting the bully. Have students write captions or use bubbles to show what people in the picture are saying. Find a place to hang artwork on the wall to remind children that they can protect themselves from being bullied. You can also make a poster with the HA HA SO strategies and make a display in the classroom for antibullying techniques.
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