Step 3: Tools for Targets (Page

Step 3: Tools for Targets

Techniques for Students to Use Against Bullying

Talk to students about tools they can use when other students are not being friendly. First, ask students to talk about a time that they were left out of an activity, or a time that someone used words that were not very kind. Ask students: How did it make you feel? How did you respond to the other person? What could you have done differently to change the situation?

Begin teaching students some of the tools they can use in a situation when kids are not being so nice. The best tools for a student caught in a bullying situation are the HA, HA, SO strategies.

H= Help - Find a nearby teacher or peer to help you. Use this strategy when help is available and willing. Ask for nearby peers to help by saying “Could you help me ask David to stop taking my lunch from me?” You can also use this strategy by anticipating a bullying situation, and asking friends to stay nearby or asking a teacher to watch out for you.

A= Assert Yourself - This is the best strategy to try first in a bullying situation. Look the bully or bullies square in the eye and tell them assertively that you don’t like what they are doing. For example, “I don’t like it when you make fun of my clothing and try to keep me from making friends. It is mean, unfair, and it hurts my feelings.” This strategy should not be used if the target feels scared or afraid for any reason.

H= Humor - This is a good way for students to de-escalate the conflict and bring reality to the situation. For example, if someone makes fun of you because of your appearance or because of something you’re wearing, you can use sarcasm and say “Oh, thanks for noticing my new (haircut, dress, shoes), I really like it too, it makes me look really cool and unique.”

A= Avoid - This is the best strategy to use when the target is alone and no other help is available. There are two ways to use this strategy. One is to avoid a bully physically by walking a different route home from school, or by staying away from the “bully hangouts” on the playground. Another is to avoid situations that may provoke a bully by playing with a group of friends close to supervision or by walking away and not responding to a bully that is teasing or provoking you.

S= Self Talk - This strategy is a way to keep your self-esteem up when someone else is calling you names or putting you down. By keeping positive thoughts in your head, it helps to block out the mean things a bully might say, and helps keep you from being targeted again.

O= Own It - In this strategy, by agreeing with the bully, or by responding in the opposite way than they intended, it helps diffuse some of the power the bully has. Targets can use statements like, “I agree, these boots really are ugly!” or “Yes, my skin is darker than yours, but that’s because I have a very unique cultural heritage. Would you like me to tell you a little bit about the place where my parents were born?”

Draw a Picture

Have students draw a picture of what they might do if they got stuck in a bullying situation using crayons, markers, or colored pencils and construction paper. Remind students of the HA HA SO strategies for protecting against bullying. They could draw someone going to get an adult for help, walking away from the situation, or even confronting the bully. Have students write captions or use bubbles to show what people in the picture are saying. Find a place to hang artwork on the wall to remind children that they can protect themselves from being bullied. You can also make a poster with the HA HA SO strategies and make a display in the classroom for antibullying techniques.

Role-plays are very important opportunities for children to practice the skills that they are learning in the classroom. After identifying the HA HA SO strategies, act out a role-play to demonstrate ways that children can respond while in a bullying situation.

First, ask for volunteers to act out the parts of the target and the bystanders. Have other students be an audience to help guide the target through their response to the bullying behaviors. Always have an adult act out the part of the bully. Try the skits once through with the “bullies” giving in after the first strategy is used. Then repeat the skit again and have the target try several different strategies before one really works. You can also act out these situations with puppets as well, to help children understand the actions without having to be the targets or bullies.

Situation #1: Some kids from John’s class are playing tag at recess. John asks if he can join in, but one of the kids tells him no one else is allowed to join. John is very sad that he is not included. What should John do? Guide students through using different HA HA SO strategies to solve the situation. For example, John could use assert yourself by saying “It hurts my feelings when you don’t let me play too,”

Situation #2: Students are working on art projects in class as Anna goes to get a paintbrush from the supply table. She reaches for the last one, but another student pushes her aside and takes the paintbrush from her. This same student is always rude to her, taking things that she wants to use, and it is frustrating to Anna. What should he do? Encourage students to think about some qualities of friendship Anna could use to work out a compromise, such as sharing, trading, or taking turns with the paintbrush. Anna could use the assert yourself technique by saying “I have an idea, why don’t we take turns using the paintbrush. Then we can both use it!” Anna could also use help by asking the teacher if there is another paintbrush that she could use.

Read a Story

Find a story that illustrates some of the concepts of bullying and either read it to your students, or have them read the story. Use the resources guide at the end of this workbook to find a book that addresses the topic you would like to work with. While reading the book, ask students to identify some of the concepts you have discussed with them. Have them identify characteristics of friendship, the techniques for defending against bullying – HA HA SO, and identifying key roles in bullying – Target, Bully, and Bystanders (both the Silent Majority and the Caring Majority.)

Creating Classroom Kindness Rules

After introducing the main concepts of bullying, tell students that they will be creating a safe environment in their classroom that is bully-free. Have students brainstorm rules that they would like to have in their classroom in order to make it a safe place to learn. Think about qualities of friendship they want to have in the classroom such as sharing, or being kind to one another. Start students off with the following rules, and encourage them to add on. • We will not bully other students • We will help others who are being bullied by speaking out and by getting adult help • We will use extra effort to include all students in activities at our school