ST. VINCENT de PAUL
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Stephen Ministry OFFERS CARE
ain can visit anyone, in many forms — the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, illness But, thanks to the trained lay ministers of the Stephen Ministry, caring help is available right here at St. Vincent de Paul Parish. “We offer care in the name of Christ,” says Marilyn Dietrich, referrals coordinator who co-leads the ministry with Maureen Vega. “We are lay ministers who are highly trained. We are not counselors. We provide the opportunity to talk while we listen. We offer a safe place, with a safe person who is not a relative or spouse. The pairings are gender-based. We are trained to listen and we will help you carry your pain.” Currently, the Stephen Ministry ministers are not meeting their care receivers in person, but instead, are using telephone calls and emails under COVID-19 protocol. The Stephen Ministry has been in place at St. Vincent since 2005. The non-denominational ministry was founded in 1975 by the Rev. Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D., a Lutheran minister in St. Louis. He realized that when he was being overwhelmed by parishioners who needed to talk about their difficulties, laypeople who are trained in understanding could be helpful. “You don’t have to be from St. Vincent Parish, or Catholic, or a Christian to be helped,” Marilyn says. The ministry is advertised in our bulletin and includes Marilyn’s phone number. There also are pamphlets available with information about the ministry and its work. When Marilyn receives a call from someone interested in receiving care, she will learn the circumstances of the care they need. Before COVID-19 restrictions were in place, she would make an appointment to meet with the caller to go into more detail about the ministry’s work. She explains the boundaries for care and the fact that everything is handled in confidence. “Confidentiality is broken only in dire cases,” she says. “I ask if they need a Stephen Ministry minister — we have 16 — and I put them in touch so they can begin the caring relationship.” The caregiver and receiver can meet anywhere, when in-person visits are permitted, usually in a somewhat public location. Some choose to meet at our church, while others meet in certain areas of a library, or parks.
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The St. Vincent de Paul Stephen Ministry members usually meet in person twice a month for peer supervision to discuss their work. However, with COVID-19 restrictions, the group has been meeting on Zoom. Marilyn Dietrich, in the upper right corner, is referrals coordinator for the ministry. The trained members offer caring help through in-depth listening to those experiencing painful circumstances.
“One of our ministry members met with the receiver for a two-hour walk in a park,” Marilyn says. “The place has to be comfortable.” The most important element of the relationship is that of trust. “The minister has to develop trust, especially with someone who has lost trust,” Marilyn says. “That fact that you show up is the most important thing at times. I find that you allow the receiver to talk, and you listen and reflect back on what they say. We learn how to elicit what their feelings are, to let them realize that ‘this person understands what I’m feeling.’” During the course of helping the receiver, God is brought into the conversation. “I ask, ‘do you mind if we pray, or do you want to ask God for something?’” Marilyn says. “Every person who comes for help, we look at them as a child of God, and we are not to be judgmental. You listen and walk with them through their pain. You pray together, which can be beautiful for people who have never considered bringing God into their pain, or vice versa. We also say that God is the ‘curegiver’ in the relationship and we’re the caregiver.”
