Cardiff Times - June 2024

Cardiff Times June 2024

Llys Cyncoed care home, Cyncoed Dementia Friends event

During this friendly and interactive session you’ll learn more about dementia, how it can affect individuals, and what you can do to help people living with dementia in your community. Book your free space at one of the below events and become an Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Friend:

Thursday 6th June at 11am

Thursday 13th June at 3.30pm

Tuesday 18th June at 11am

Llys Herbert care home, Lisvane Care fee planning

Thursday 20th June, 2pm - 4pm

Listen to Tracey Daniel from Brooks Macdonald explain the complexities of funding care, what benefits you might qualify for and how to make savings go further.

Trusted to care

To attend please call

Musical Director: Simon Curtis

Musical Director: Simon Curtis. Pianos: Rhiannon Pritchard and David George Harrington

Get started with Kumon this summer term and save with our Free Registration offer

With more than 60 years’ experience, Kumon is proud to be recognised as an education provider that delivers proven academic results. Independent research by The Education Policy Institute (EPI), an evidencebased research institute, revealed that Kumon students significantly outperform their primary school peers in maths. This makes Kumon students transitioning into secondary school well-placed to continue making progress and thriving in their education.

The Kumon Method of Learning uses unique study programs that aid students in developing lifelong study skills and an excellent appreciation of reading. We aim to help children of all ages and abilities become confident, independent learners who can thrive both at school and in their future careers.

At all of our Kumon Study Centres in Cardiff, we’re offering Free Registration on the Kumon Maths and English Programmes between 1 May and 30 June 2024 to help you get started with Kumon before the end of the summer term.

Kumon Instructors continuously monitor, guide and challenge students to grow by setting worksheets at their just-right level, established at an initial assessment that allows us to assign work that challenges students while building on their existing knowledge and ability. Many students will go on to cover topics that are beyond their equivalent school year as, at Kumon, progress is based on ability, not age.

Reaching an advanced level of study makes sure students are well-equipped with the skills they need to achieve excellence and, with guidance and support from their Instructor, Kumon students establish strong foundations in maths and English, as well as important study skills including speed, accuracy, time management, concentration and problem-solving.

Classes are held in centre once or twice a week, with students completing worksheets outside of class to build good study habits and further develop their understanding of the material.

Students can now experience our worksheets digitally on a tablet with KUMON CONNECT, making Kumon’s tried and tested worksheets even more accessible and convenient for students to study using their tablet and stylus.

Join the over 3.5 million Kumon students worldwide by contacting your local Instructor and book your child’s Free Assessment and Kumon Registration and save with our Free Registration offer via the website at https://www.kumon.co.uk

Alternatively, please see opposite for details for each of our Cardiff Kumon Study Centres and get in touch now to book!

“His

-Olivia, Kumon Parent

Stuck!

by Wyn Evans

It is eight years almost to the day that a neurologist confirmed that I had Parkinson’s Disease, so it is time for an update on my condition. The first thing to note is that I am still standing – but only just! I’ve previously explained how walking any distance has been increasingly difficult. The latest is that I resemble one of those old marionettes - a puppet figure manipulated from above by strings or threads attached to a control. In a simple marionette, the strings are attached in nine places: to each leg, hand, shoulder, and ear and at the base of the spine. By adding strings, more sensitive control of movement is achieved. Well, I take after a type of marionette some of whose strings have been snipped, causing my torso to duck and dive, desperately trying to find some control and steadiness.

My current physiotherapist has come up with a novel suggestion to ease my travails. Writing to my Parky’s Consultants she noted “that Wyn’s rigidity is very marked both in

his trunk and limbs. He has extremely tight hamstrings which are impacting on his posture as he can’t achieve full knee extension in standing.

I also feel his rigidity is really impacting his balance. Unfortunately, he had a fall last week… He has been actively stretching his hamstrings, but I feel that he may benefit from a medication review to systemically try to improve his rigidity or some Botox to target his hamstrings.” I’m meeting with the Consultants before the next issue of the Cardiff Times comes out and I’ll be sure to keep you posted. Botox in the treatment of Parky’s! I’ll believe it when it happens.

Parky’s was responsible for an unfortunate incident at home this week too. It was bedtime. Rather than standing over the sink to brush my teeth I’ve taken to sitting on the long edge of the bath with my top half over the sink. It’s less wearing on my legs and with much less risk of unbalancing myself or

taking a tumble. In theory, anyway. The taps are in the middle of the opposite long edge of the bath. So there’s me sitting, cleaning my teeth, well-grounded and, one would think, free of the risk of a fall. However, my posterior slipped backwards into the bath (caused by overbalancing to put my toothbrush away). It all happened in a flash so let me give you the slow-motion action replay. From sitting comfortably my rear end slid down the inward slope of the bath causing my upper torso to concertina at the waist and my neck and shoulders to slide down the baths opposite long edge, wedging my left shoulder and arm under the tapspout, my legs dangling by the knees over the other edge. My right arm was wedged between me and the short edge of the bath.

What a sight. When I say ‘wedged’ I mean scarcely able to move my hands, arms, legs, head, or anything else. I had on nowt but my pyjama trousers, the taps had scraped the back of my shoulder and blood was flowing freely from the resulting scratch. And it was

ten past one in the morning. It was open to me to shout for help, waking The Boss or the Girl so that they would haul me out. But I didn’t think that would win me their sympathy. All in all, I reckon it took me about fifteen minutes to inch my way up and out of the bath. It would be very funny if it was a scene shot for a TV sit-com and I am very glad we all saw the funny side of it. (A mockup picture is attached.)

I have to go and stretch my legs, literally so!

PS, thanks for all the kind wishes. The Girl had a wonderful 18th birthday party at Roath Church House.

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‘And Another Thing...’ O’Bertolli

Intriguing title don’t you think? Let me explain. I was in a local store the other day when I happened upon an older man who was using a jewellers eye loupe to read the contents of a tin of beans. I asked him why and he was doing this. He said: “You can’t be too careful,” which cleared that up for me. However, this got me looking at things more closely (metaphorically and literally). Bertolli Spread (instead of butter) became the subject of my first close label scrutiny. The packaging crows about the use of Mediterranean olive oil supported by pictures of olive groves glinting in the sunshine. However, the labelling says: “Produced outside of Italy.” It is in fact made in Dublin so O’Bertolli one assumes. Who knew? I bet that guy with the eye loupe did.

With the Advent of Summer (ish) She Who Must Be Obeyed suggested I get the Barbi out. Not being a fan of barbecues, I decided to take her literally and here she is. Burnt quite well mind. Of course, being politically correct like what I am, I have always felt that Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies and of course, women’s heads are much harder to put back on in real life. (Don’t write in please).

by Vince Nolan

Did you hear that there’s a new Divorced Barbie. She comes with all of Ken’s accessories apparently.

Crossword clue: Sends a postcard as the fisherman does 5, 1 and 4. *Answer below and no cheating.

I read this quotation recently which I thought I would share with you: “Time is what we want most but use worst.” This from English Quaker, William Penn the founder of Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, he died of a stroke. I suppose it was a stroke of the pen but maybe not, eh?

Since I seem to have become politically incorrect all of a sudden, one of my favourite songs from a musical is There is Nothing like a Dame from South Pacific which was penned in 1949. Of course, this is somewhat dated language now so to update it they could set it in the North of England and rename it There is Nowt like a Wench. Just an idea.

Sheltering from the sun recently, in a local alehouse, I overheard the following: “We stayed on French Island near Melbourne, it was on the coast.” Call me stupid but islands tend to be surrounded by water and this one is no exception. Here’s a picture to prove it.

A man rescued a “pirate” from a deserted island.

have questionable morels?

out the City hotels. The concerts were then cancelled and we found a City centre hotel

will no longer be slapping each other as their routines unless they are given dispensation by our First Minister.

(meaty urologist, oh please yourselves).

£80, hurrah! However, the fickle finger

ones from the Taff Vale) and asked them whether they fancied having a free beer for the afternoon. Fearing some kind of honey trap, they took that my offer was genuine. Cautiously, they agreed to join us. Picture the scene, 5pm on a sunny weekday evening at the side entrance to the Brewery on

deer who has lost both accident? No eye deer. when Trump dies, I will give “He is today how he was as President……….wearing make-up and lying in front

After inviting him onto his boat, he asked him whether it was harder to plunder ships with a wooden leg, hook for a hand, and an eye patch.

this in a local pub on their specials board: Love Local and champion local farms fisheries.” All very laudable but the first on their menu was Mediterranean Olives. Overheard in the same pub: “Every time we here we come here.” You don’t say.

intervened and cancelled the office lunch leaving us to wander lonely as some clouds around the Castle and its outdoor bar facilities until frostbite got the better of us and forced us back to a hotel we did not need. Much fun, but quickly found out that there is a limit to how much mulled wine one can drink before falling over.

tiny mistake and your whole post is urined.

was executed after the Supreme Court ruled he could turn it down if he wanted to. No pleasing some folk.

have not been directly observed but theoretical predictions based on their existence have been confirmed experimentally.” Oh please! And as for mesons and baryons, we could be here all night.

news and the others would butt in with constant interruptions and a stream of “furious debate.” With this in mind I have collated some quality put-downs which comics have used to deal with modern day hecklers:

The man promptly replied, “I’m not really a pirate.” “Oh really? Then what’s with the wooden leg?” “I was trying to swim away from the island when a shark bit my leg off and I had to replace it with this lump of wood.” “Well, what about the hand?” “Whilst foraging for food on the island, a snake bit my hand and I had to cut it off, then replace it with this hook.” “Okay. But what about the eye patch?” “That’s makes you blind?” “No, it was my first day with

Continuing the rope theme: Soap on a rope Pope on a rope

mention that my WIFI had died that morning. She misheard me and thought I said my Wife had died. Given this was her daughter she did not swoon, cry, or put down the food. Prior to clearing up the matter I said: Yes, that’s why I brought you a meal. It’s how I deal with loss! Alas this is a true tale.

How long have you had arthritis?” “I don’t have arthritis, Father,” the drunk said, “but just read in the paper that the Pope does.”

“What size of shoe does your mouth take?”

pensioners who could barely stand were seen hanging onto a lamppost, for support, rather

dates before but a recent trip to my local supermarket perishables that would make the following Monday. In fact I would make it to the car for the journey home. What is going EU supply issues? Closer inspec@on of the packaging and veg like Tanzania and Argen@na. So these climes, picked, packaged, taken to the port or airport, then delivered to the shops and put on the shelves with Tomlinson

with Mark Dacey (on the leS) who is the dynamic CEO of Colleges. It does not need me to suggest the uncanny Tomlinson or vice versa.

brewery got on a bus and sat

The world has taken a strange twist – at least the parts I seem to occupy. I have been reading about a proposal for the 2027 Rugby World Cup which will prevent any team in red shirts and green shirts playing each other because colour blind people often struggle to distinguish between the two. Not criticising them of course but this would affect Wales, Canada, Ireland, Tonga, Russia, South Africa and Japan. This had me in mind of that quote from BBC snooker commentator Ted Lowe who famously said during one of his commentaries: “And for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green.”

Wine every day all month!

off. I engaged four old-timers who were in the bar (could have been the aforementioned ones from the Taff Vale) and asked them whether they fancied having a tour and free beer for the afternoon. Fearing some kind of honey trap, they took convincing that my offer was genuine. Cautiously, they agreed to join us. Picture the scene, 5pm on a sunny weekday evening at the side entrance to the Brewery on Caroline Street where four pensioners who could barely stand were seen hanging onto a lamppost, for support, rather than illumination. An afternoon they would never…… remember.

“Hello.”

drink, there has always been attached to wine. Indeed, living from it, but I am making a the lockdowns. I’m giving up all month. No wait, that’s not Wine every day all month!

time it tried to other three shops I really and and sausage had enough of home school highlight of the it’s serious, excitement. phrase we 18th Century straight was and weft). Of the related call her Dr Dr R who We recently was pinned. door. Live Radio outdone we note: “Please

Staying with the drink, there has always been much snobbery attached to wine. Indeed, people make a living from it, but I am making a stand because of the lockdowns. I’m giving up wine, every day, month. No wait, that’s not it. I’m giving up.

drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a halfempty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?" by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and fellow man," the priest replied. "Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the apologised: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that

I was at the hairdressers the other day for my January scalping when the Jimmy Nail song “Ain’t No Doubt - She’s Lying” came on the wireless. Totally unscripted, we, the masked singers in the chairs and our masked stylists all started to sway and sing to the music in a scene reminiscent from The Full Monty when they all started dancing in the queue at the job centre. Fortunately all sharp implements were downed for a few short minutes and then without further comment, just like in a musical, everybody went back to their day job like nothing had happened. Lockdown has a lot to answer for but that was very funny.

“This is what comes from drinking on an empty head.”

“I know where you were when they were handing the brains out………getting an extra helping of mouth.”

Two people out on a first date. “Do you like Merlot Tammy?” “Yes, but you don’t pronounce the “t.” “Oh, Ok.” Looks at waiter: “Two Merlots for me and Ammy.”

I once owned one of the chewed pencils which Shakespeare used to write his famous works. He used to chew on it so much that I couldn’t tell whether it was 2B or not 2B. Staying with the Bard, in days gone by, in order to attract women, I used to use this quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82:

The Leader of the Opposition and I were sitting in our socially distanced local, The Funky Furlough, when a lady close by to us asked the Bar Manager if the toilets were still upstairs. He of course confirmed that they were but I thought this to be a very stupid question. I would have said something like: “I don’t know when madam was last with us but we moved them out to the car park many months ago as a direct consequence of Covid19.” Perhaps this is why I do not run a pub.

“Do you know, if you wore soundproof trousers one would hear a word you’re saying.”

minimum of ten were required or off. I engaged four old-timers the bar (could have been the aforementioned ones from the Taff Vale) them whether they fancied brewery tour and free beer for the Fearing some kind of honey trap, some convincing that my offer was Cautiously, they agreed to join us. scene, 5pm on a sunny weekday side entrance to the Brewery Street where four pensioners barely stand were seen hanging lamppost, for support, rather than An afternoon they would remember.

Recent crossword clue: “Brush under the carpet 5 and 4.” The answer was “gloss over.”

recent WalesOnline article bizarrely claimed GPs were working 40 months an hour overtime. I have no doubt they are ridiculously stretched at present, but 40 months an hour? over three years an hour. The only way this would be to time travel so maybe were referring to Dr Who. In my world this be like driving at 40 hours a mile which be quite slow but not unlike trying to negotiate the recent traffic carnage in Cardiff Centre as they impose bike lanes on the us.

the son of a good friend a urology for his Dad’s the heart to say eulogy meant. Anyway, here is (he was affectionately because of his likeness leader), involved a trip play France. We year relationship with played them home and international weekends. On (Mike’s first), we did it in the bus to Dover, ferry crossing was sitting next to him. At Customs Officer came onto hold up your passports along and count them and and said “I didn’t know and I haven’t got one.” I words to that effect. Then, in a World War 2 prisoner of war ducked down into the footwell his coat and mine on top of move, whilst we were both uncontrollably. The Customs the count, missed Mike

Interesting lyric we heard on the wireless the other day: “Sports bra and a Maserati car.” Who would have thought of that combination? Apparently many have including a poet called Dave Cox whom I have just “discovered”. Intellectual property rules prevent me quoting any of his work here but I encourage you to look him up. A real comedy genius and hugely refreshing.

A wife sent her husband a romantic

on a first date. “Do you like “Yes, but you don’t pronounce Ok.” Looks at waiter: “Two and Ammy.” has trained her dog Daisy to bring her a bottle of red wine. No surprise Bordeaux collie. I was sat with She Who Must Be Obeyed the other day whilst ensure that we had properly warmed up since we didn’t want to pull any drinking Unfortunately, only six of us turned up and a minimum of ten were required or the

“Is that your real face or are you still celebrating Halloween?”

“Your bus leaves in 10 minutes... Be under it.”

one day leS on the sell-buy date. It takes an inordinate amount of skill to in-@me” with 24 hours to spare. Waste levels must be astronomical. Staying with food, I have been doing some research into what is no longer the UK. The list is endless but here is a small sample: Pringles (Belgium), Colman’s English Mustard ( Germany), Terrys Chocolate Orange (France) Parliament) Sauce (The Netherlands). Staggering.

Picture the poor student trying to learn English. Student – try it in a German accent: “If I understand zis correctly, in ze first place you are brushing benease your carpet and zen you add shiny paint over it. You British!”

I wonder if you read about the Sumatran Orangutan called Rakus who was filmed recently in the wild treating a cut to his face with a pain-relieving plant. Apparently, he chewed the leaves of a climbing plant, Dracaena Cantleyi and then applied the poultice to the wound on his cheek. Here he is if you don’t believe me. Note the before and after scar below his eye. There was no report of how long he had to wait for an appointment with the local Urang Doctor but luckily, he was seen in time and the rainforest pharmacy had the plant in stock…...and we think we have evolved!

“I need you like Van Gogh needed stereo.”

The Leader of The Opposition and I were listening to Michael Ball on the wireless. He was interviewing Donny Osmond who had been appearing in panto at the London Palladium. Donny was speaking about a former acting mentor of his who told him the following: “Theatre is the only place where you can dream in public. Your job as an actor is to deliver that dream” which we thought was rather good. Oh yes it is.

Overheard in a pub recently: “He had a smile like Cheshire Cash!” Possibly Johnny Cash’s brother I thought to myself? Of course, Cheshire Cash would never blow anything up, but Dinah might. You will know that I like accuracy in reporting and consequently wondered if this Cheshire Cash was some reference to the glitterati who live on the Wirral. I am now sorry I looked this up. It seems that the Wirral Peninsula was wholly based in Cheshire according to the Domesday Book of 1086. Its location was described as within two arrow falls of Chester City Walls. However, since the Local Government Act of 1972 only the Southern third is now in Cheshire, the rest of it is in Merseyside. You following this? The above reference to measurement by weapon range reminded me that the distance across the floor of the House of Commons between the Government and Opposition benches is 13 feet, said to be equivalent to two broadsword lengths. Of course, the easiest way to win a debate in Parliament is to have a sharp sword at the ready. Everybody will agree you have a good point. Of course, the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which one I would prefer to have in a fight.

I was reading about a court case where the accused was described as “having murderous intent.” I was quite disappointed to learn that this had nothing to do with camping.

text message. She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” Her husband texted back: “ I’m in the toilet, please advise.”

Our friend Dr H has trained her dog Daisy to bring her a bottle of red wine. No surprise really, she’s a Bordeaux collie. I was sat with She Who Must Be Obeyed the other day whilst she sipped a glass of wine and she said, “I love you so much, you know. I don’t know how I could ever live without you.” I said, “Is that you or the wine talking?” She said, “It’s me talking to the wine.”

“Well, it’s a night out for him.. and a night off for family.”

Here’s one for you: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “LiKle old lady.” “LiKle “I had no idea you could yodel.”

Thanks to my cousin Lawrence for this joke. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Flop! Quickly followed by a poem what I writ:

Sainted Mother-In-Law was looking for car insurance now that her stunt driving days are managed to find a reasonable policy, it out and paid for it. She in turn kindly reimbursed me with this immortal covering “Thank you, the Monet is in the bank.” I course countered this with “There was really need to give me a priceless impressionist painting but thank you anyway.”

Staying with word games, I completed a word puzzle on my phone and I correctly guessed that the word they were looking for was Hadron as in the Hadron Collider. Having no clue what this was really all about I decided look it up. I wish I hadront bovvered (see what I did there): “Any member of a class of subatomic particles that are built from quarks and thus react through the agency of the strong force. The hadrons embrace mesons, baryons and their many resonances.” Trouble then wanted to know what a quark was.

A drunk who smelled like a brewery got on a bus and sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a halfempty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?" caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and for your fellow man," the priest replied. "Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He reading his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the apologised: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had "I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that does."

sell-buy dates before supermarket on a Friday that would make the some doubt whether the journey home. nothing to do with EU inspection of the packaging fruit and veg like these comestibles picked, packaged, distributed around UK the shops and put on the sell-buy date. It skill to supply goods spare. Waste levels doing some research manufactured in the UK. The small sample: Pringles Colman’s English Chocolate Orange Parliament) Sauce (The knock.” “Who’s there?” who?” “I had no idea my tolerance as it used to the

Finally, sad news, my friend David has lost his ID. Now he is just Dav.

I have also been reading Bob Mortimer’s autobiography which I also strongly recommend. Funny, poignant and very clever, but enough about me. In it he recalls a tale about having chronic flatulence as a child which was both embarrassing and at times very painful. During one particular attack he went to the Doctors who managed to “release the pressure” for him. He quotes the Doctor as saying: “Better an empty house than a noisy tenant” which I thought was very good. Presumably this was in the days before the Doctors were working 40 months an hour.

I walked into our local bar, The Moaning Monet saw Van Gogh sitting at the end on a bar stool. shouted “Hey Vince do you want a drink?”

Roses can be red, Violets are purple. Just saying.

I am a man of a certain age so my tolerance threshold does work as well par@cularly when being asked to embrace new technology. I was therefore She Who Must Be Obeyed suggested I download a new app called What3Words. naviga@on aid which divides the World into 3 metre squares and gives each combina@on of three words. I s@ll drive about a lot for business, believe assured that this system would be much more accurate than using our sat the first @me the other day and the unique three word loca@on I was looking Are Lost!” Design fault or user error?

Finally, back in the real world, a top tip for you all. Collect the residue coffee beans from your local caffeine emporium and bury them is your garden as a nitrate-rich fertiliser. Then later, you can have a walk around your grounds! I need to get out more.

Adios Amigos

Finally, a top bathroom tip: Never leave your pile ointment next to your toothpaste!

*Drops a line.

Happy New Year Dear Reader, the Year of the Ox. Apparently this year is going to be lucky with the Ox representing diligence, persistence and honesty. Not for going to be Trump’s year then is it?

Finally, a blessing for the drink: God, in his goodness, sent the grapes, to cheer both great and small. Little fools will drink too much and great fools none at all. My round.

He shouted back: “No thanks, I’ve already got ear.”

Hasta la Vista.

Hasta La Vista Chums

I recently paid a visit to The Sainted Motherin-Law bearing the gift of a chicken casserole what I had fashioned the previous eve. Whilst handing it over and in passing, I happened to

have observed when people type

smelled like a brewery got sat down next to a priest. shirt was stained, his face bright red lipstick and he had bottle of wine sticking out of

Laters

Yamas Chums

UK’S STRONGEST MAN COMPETITION DEBUTS

IN CARDIFF WITH FIRST-EVER LIVE

TV BROADCAST

The Ultimate Strongman is bringing its UK’s Strongest Man 2024 event to Wales for the first time in its 50-year history. Completing a double first for the competition, the event will also be broadcast LIVE on Channel 5.

Now in its 21st year on television, the UK’s Strongest Man has established itself as a key event in sports entertainment. This year, Cardiff will host the competition, attracting strongmen from across the United Kingdom for two days of rigorous contests at the Vindico Arena on Saturday 8th and Sunday 9th June.

The UK’s Strongest Man 2024 is not just a competition; it’s a fully-fledged entertainment spectacle. It combines live music, dynamic

light shows, and pyrotechnics with the sheer excitement of watching elite athletes push their limits through incredible challenges such as truck pulls, car flips, and the infamous Steps from Hell.

Glenn Ross, five-time UK’s Strongest Man winner and co-founder of Ultimate Strongman expressed his excitement:

“Bringing the UK’s Strongest Man competition to Cardiff, and Wales for the first time, is extremely exciting. This city, with its rich history and passionate community, provides the perfect backdrop for showcasing the pinnacle of human strength and endurance. Cardiff’s vibrant energy will enhance the experience for both competitors and spectators alike.

“Previously, the competition has been prerecorded and shown on TV later in the year, but being broadcast live on Channel 5 means that this year millions of viewers will be able to witness these extraordinary athletes in real time. We’re incredibly proud to be offering a thrilling and immersive experience that captures the awe-inspiring strength of our strongman competitions.”

The competition will be aired LIVE on Channel 5 from 2pm to 5pm on both Saturday 8th and Sunday 9th June 2024. For those who would like to watch from within the arena in Cardiff, tickets are available from https://www.eventbrite.com/cc/official-ticketsultimate-strongman-2024-2650689?gad_ source=1

June 2024

In The Words Of by

The Euro’s are about to commence, yet Wales didn’t qualify, sadly. At least Scotland and England are there to represent the UK. I can’t wait to spend days glued to my TV screen!

I have been fortunate to venture out for a few weeks on the spin, which makes for a very nice change. One music, one talk and one darts. What’s not to like? More on those below.

There are two interviews this month, both are musically linked albeit one being the comedian Rachel Parris who is bringing her piano to The Glee Club, whilst the other is the band James, who are not comedians but do bring a lot of fun to their gigs.

Tour Review: THE RE MADE MAN TOUR - THE MICHAEL FRANZESE STORY

After a last-minute venue change either due to Michael interviewing two controversial figures for his YouTube channel or his comments about Israel; the original Cardiff venue pulled out as I’m told the owners also owned the last venue where protesters turned up (Birmingham). I arrived at the Canton Liberal Workmens Club & Institute thinking I’d arrived at the wrong venue. After triplechecking my messages, and asking someone, I walked inside. There were no protestors outside. The night was a success, we all got to hear about how Michael gave up his life in the Mafia for his future wife. He faced many troubling times, both during, and after he’d left it all behind him, yet we found out that nearly every single person he’d “worked” with had been killed or died in prison. Michael Franzese knows he’s a very lucky man. I think we all left that night knowing it too.

Concert Review: LYRA at The Globe, Roath

Lyra has been around for a few years and is somewhat of a household name in Ireland. Her debut album has just gone to number one in the Irish Music Charts, but it’s mindboggling as to why she isn’t that well-known in the UK. I went for my first-ever visit to The Globe in Roath, and even though a lovely little venue, Lyra commands a much bigger stage.

Carl Marsh

Between singing her songs, she’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard speak. I needed to mention that! Her new selftitled album contains many songs that mean so much to her, some connected to the breakdown of her last relationship, but unlike Paloma Faith who didn’t like talking to me about it [in a past interview], Lyra took solace in it all knowing the crowd were appreciating her openness. Perhaps worthy to note is that of the songs I heard, they all sounded so familiar, yet I’d only heard two before, which shows how much of a fan I became that night and wanted the night not to end. She’s brilliant. Buy her album. Go see her when she’s next in the UK.

Bar/Restaurant Review: FLIGHT CLUB

Situated on St Mary Street, this is a dart lovers oasis for those that want something a little bit more upmarket than dingy pubs similar to ones that I was used to when my Dad played semi-pro in the 1970s/80s! Don’t get me wrong, you still have a traditional darts board and darts, but it’s all linked up to fun multi-player games via a TV screen. This is darts for the 21st Century! I’ve been wanting to experience this place for a good while. I had one of the best nights out in a long time. The food and drinks sampled were divine - and plentiful - at the launch event of Flight Club in Bloom, which officially opened its roof terrace where you can enjoy summer cocktails surrounded by an oasis of flowers whilst dancing on the smallest dance floor in Cardiff [allegedly!]

Interview with Rachel Parris Words by Carl Marsh

Known for “The Mash Report” (BBC Two), and “Live at the Apollo” (BBC One), this new tour is going to be a love letter to musical comedy with Rachel very much at home doing stand-up along with singing funny songs at the piano. Rachel will be at The Glee Club on Sunday 2nd June, and we spoke via Zoom ahead of her new tour, “Poise”.

Carl Marsh

I know you studied Music when you were at Oxford, so I can see the connection to how music plays a part in your comedy, but with the comedy itself, did you ever think you’d end up with a career in it?

Rachel Parris

I think music has always been there since I was a little kid. And I always had a passion for it. I always hoped that it would be part of my job somehow. I didn’t know that this would be my job. But like, even before this was my job, I was working in schools doing choirs. I was teaching piano I was teaching singing. I was playing in churches, with the organ and stuff. So, music has always been there - and will always be there. The comedy… no! I never thought I’d get into comedy. [Laughs] I don’t think I would ever have even known what that path would look like into comedy. So, it was quite a surprise.

Carl Marsh

And at what stage was it that… a eureka moment or some sort of catalyst when you knew you’d found your niche in comedy?

Rachel Parris

There were loads of different stages in terms of performing comedy on stage when I was at Oxford with the Oxford Imps, which was my first go at improv comedy. And a friend sort of sent me to audition for that. I wouldn’t have thought of it myself. And I loved it straight away. And that was probably the first moment that I thought, “Oh, I can be funny on stage”. But then it’s a different thing doing it on your own and doing songs. So, then I met a few comedians and watched a bit of comedy. This was in my mid-20s, by this point. And I thought, “What’s my way into that?” Because I knew stand-up terrified me. I was already writing and performing songs at open mic nights, and quite a few of them were funny. So, I thought maybe I can ‘Victoria Wood’ this [Laughs], and I can do it with funny songs. So that’s what I did. The first few gigs were just comedy songs, not stand-up. And it went really well. I was like, “Oh, this is what works for me in performing, actually”. So, that’s still what I’m doing now: comedy song and stand-up.

Watch and listen to Rachel Parris at The Glee Club on Sunday, 2nd June 2024. A few tickets remain.

Interview with Saul Davies [JAMES]

Words by Carl Marsh

The band was originally formed in 1982, yet it wasn’t until the 1990s when James had huge popularity with songs like “Sit Down”, “Come Home” and “She’s a Star” made them one of the UK’s biggest bands. With album number 18 “Yummy” getting very positive reviews since its release in April this year, I chatted to the band’s guitarist/multi-instrumentalist, Saul Davies ahead of the gig at the Utilita Arena on Tuesday, 11 June in Cardiff.

Carl Marsh

I’ve always thought that James is very much involved in that two-way connection to the audience, that engagement you have with the fans at gigs, very similar in style to how Coldplay are, with me having seen you both live in concert.

Saul - JAMES

Well, they’re a cultural phenomenon, amazing songwriters. Hugely significant entertainers. I mean, the songs are brilliant, and they just have this knack for engaging with people. I admire very much the way that they can engage with people. Our band is about engagement. We don’t do a lot of it online or whatever. We’re not interested in any of that. It’s all BS with people pretending that they like each other. It is not a very sensible way

forward. It is a waste of time, in my opinion, but when we’re standing in front of people on a stage…

Carl Marsh

You do engage. And you especially, you’re so good at getting the crowd singing along.

Saul - JAMES

It’s part of our job because, within those two to two and a quarter hours, we’re limited in what we can do in that time. You know, because we have this catalogue and we’ve got new stuff and all the rest of it, but you want to try and touch people. You want to challenge people a little bit. Eventually, the idea would be that you want people to leave the gig kind of feeling… like there’s got to be a celebration, hasn’t it? I think that’s what we do really.

We mustn’t take ourselves too seriously though, as we know what we’ve got to say. There’s some lyrical and musical content which is very dear and very important for us to say, play and present right to people. We also need to make sure that we’re having an experience that we ourselves ‘enjoy’. That isn’t the right word, it is too weak, but it represents some collective joy that James has as a band in being alive, and able to do it well and successfully.

Limited tickets are available for the Utilita Arena, on 11 June 2024.

With more than 35 different traders under one roof it is easy to while away an entire afternoon at this welcoming destination - you can even enjoy a coffee at the onsite coffee shop.

Here at The Pumping Station you will find so many wonderful examples of clothing, jewellery, antiques, furniture and home furnishings from the Victorian era right through to modern day, there really is something here for everyone.

HOW DID THEY DO THAT?

BEHIND THE SCENES IN A TELEVISION STUDIO

by Sara John

How does a television programme come together??

I will do my best to explain the process when I worked in the industry during the period many regard as the golden age of television.

An original programme idea starts life in the stratosphere which enters the head of a producer, researcher, writer, or associate. It might fit in with other current trends for family viewing at that moment in time. It might, if presented well, to the decision makers, strike exactly the right chord for the newly prepared and very top-secret autumn schedule.

If there is serious interest the, as yet unborn script must be prepared as a submission up the chain to those who run the operation and command the budget. During that process it must retain a reasonable level of confidentiality, which is not easy in a culture where knowledge

is currency, and walls have ears. When I was working in the television business the internal communications systems were second to none. A casual word could easily seed in the coffee queue in the restaurant at 10.30 in the morning: “Guess whom I saw in reception being greeted by that new guy from the Drama Department?” Word spreads rapidly and maybe adjusted as it travels through the air conditioning system (which we all thought it did). Does the rumour need a tweak from someone working in the canteen or in a rival department blessed with first class hearing?

Are there hidden mics under the tables in the restaurant? Not so, it was more like the situation, we have subsequently read in books about Bletchley Park, how no one outside those involved ever knew very much about the concept and final outcome.

Television differed from with the well-known cultures of the theatre and the film industry (although there were many similarities) and had developed its own methods of getting “the show on the road”. That meant very little leaked out until the proposal had been agreed. However, there were also some well-established centres of ‘secrets’ for those staff who prided themselves on always being “in the know”. My personal secrets centre was one of the biggest Costumiers in the business, (branches in the USA and all over Europe) used by film, stage, and TV... The secrets were generally exchanged or overheard in the (very busy) slow lift.

The gossip on this mythical production became The Word, and led to ambitious, pushy types seeking promises or even just reassurances from their line managers, that they were being considered for the planned production.

This was a waste of time because each contributing department to the final production crew were selected on merit, experience, background, and blot free annual reports, and, very importantly on their commitment, talent, and total reliability.

Weeks later the project was in the pipeline and decisions had become the immediate future for those selected to join the production.

Auditions were held. Famous faces appeared in reception.

It was definitely on!

The run up time from being allocated to a new programme or series also covered how much “prep time” was necessary which, of course, varied enormously according to whether it was a drama, comedy, documentary, or light entertainment show. News, current affairs, and sport went through a different process. That time was, of course, never enough!

The units of staff involved with the actual program covered a large number of people of many different backgrounds and abilities. Here is a selection of the different departments involved (I hope I have left no one out).

Set design, lighting, sound, makeup, costume, wardrobe, props - involving carpenters, painters, electricians, film unit, transport, catering, broadcast engineers, camera crews,

and many other engineers, all the way out to transmitter staff.

At this time BBC Wales was broadcasting on a number of channels. Broadcasting House had to be manned for 24 hours over 7 days. The cleaners and catering staff arrived very early. The security department was full-time covering not only the buildings but also the outside areas with outside broadcast vehicles and car parking.

Many visitors commented on how like a small village we were. Everyone knew one another, and everyone would give advice, start your car, wave you out or in, especially for female staff who might appear to the menfolk to be less adept at maneuvers in small spaces. Or perhaps like me asking the kind chap who was offering to help to go away because I would not be able to park my car if he was watching me. (I was not alone in that situation).

During these years there was constant change as technological developments changed the industry with new equipment and methodology with consequential effects on staffing. At the same time broadcasting in Wales went through many reforms with the introduction of Radio Wales, Radio Cymru and BBC’s contribution to the new channel S4C.

Alongside growth and development in production units some independent “outsiders” such as photographers, specialist makers, perhaps composers and musicians might also be involved.

As I was working in the Costume Department when I joined the BBC (a long time ago) it is familiar to me, so I will use it as an example of the procedure for turning the paper sheets of the script into a lively, bright television programme.

Costume (with regular support from wardrobe) and makeup department were the members of staff who had to be in touch with the artistes and performers at an early stage. Discussions had to be held diplomatically. It was necessary

for a good working relationship to be formed with the caste of a drama early on to arrange fittings and meetings in order to be well ahead of the game. Very often the leads would be well known and would end a phone conversation hopefully with, “Look, I’ll just leave it all to you!” Bliss.!

The Makeup designer and the Costume designer would attend rehearsals, often travelling to the London rehearsal rooms to do so. If garments were also being hired from the costume companies in London, then fittings for any alterations, also, needed the presence of the costume designer. It all took up time, with much of the time being swallowed up in travelling.

Space had to be allocated for all the costumes already selected from the stores labelled and checked over. Items from the London costume companies and finished new designs would join them from the making department on site. Many others would be purchased locally. A costume assistant would be tasked with labelling all the items dedicated to this production. NO ONE touches anything on another designer’s rail, it goes without saying.

The charity shops would have been raided for secondhand jewels, bags, scarves, gloves, hats and so on. Small items might be requested from the rehearsal room for the actors to practice with, secret documents being put into an awkward briefcase for example.

Every performer would have a blue cotton wrap to wear first thing in the morning for their call to the makeup department. All the dressing rooms would have no bolts or locks because, should there be a fire alarm, everyone can make good their escape.

The performing artistes will have been given different call times according to their characters’ requirements. I have worked on shows with the leading lady begging for collection from the Angel Hotel three hours before she was required in the studio, yes, three hours.

For a studio production Wardrobe staff and costume assistants would arrive early and set up with a briefing note from me, a copy of the script and therefore able to answer any queries and questions. Introductions are made then the labelled costumes are taken to the relevant dressing rooms. We had our own coffee facilities in the ground floor wardrobe HQ. This was most handy, but the big job was keeping uninvited coffee lovers outside.

Gradually the studio filled with staff, mostly engineering staff. The Gallery on the first floor filled with production staff, files, folders, cups of hot coffee, and, in those long-ago days cigarette smoke.

The floor manager, on the studio floor, the one with the headphones and built in mic was ready to get underway. The lights changed again. And again. We were under way bang on nine o’clock.

The stagger was the name for the first run through of the production. It was painstakingly, slow, and essential for the work following on the rest of the day prior to the actual recording performance. The stagger might take until lunch break in order to iron out any concerns and problems.

The director would prepare his “notes” ready to get together ‘face to face’ as it were with the cast. This is a private event, not for the benefit

of the crew! After the lunch break there is another run-through which is, hopefully, smooth running and satisfactory for both director and producer. During late afternoon small scenes maybe rehearsed if required. At six o’clock the studio “breaks” for an evening meal. Artistes are persuaded to change their character costumes for their blue cotton wraps. JUST in CASE!!

During these rehearsals many, conversations will have taken place between studio-based engineers and backstage engineers, the ones who ensure “perfection” from the equipment hidden from view behind doors which non engineers never entered. Another, essential world.

By eight o’clock the recording process would be underway. The atmosphere was already slightly more relaxed than it was earlier in the day. Sighs of relief all round. After the final words in the final scene plus a few minutes of perfect quiet, the staff scattered around the studio come forward and delight the performers with an “in house” loud round of applause. Not every show of course but it happens from time to time. Stress for all concerned has dissipated, exhaustion is setting in and hopefully replaced with a feeling of a job well done.

It is all over, bar transmission, the time is 10.45pm so the rest of the day is your own. I say to my crew thanks again!

Why not try

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For that early morning cuppa.

For when ‘7 across’ has you stumped.

For peace. For quiet.

For when a custard cream tickles your fancy.

For a hand to hold when it all feels too much.

For when you fall in love, again.

For that fit of giggles after a serious chat. For “namaste”.

For that homely feeling, even though you just moved in.

For every moment, we’re here.

STEVE ROBINSON

Part One

In this month’s column I have interviewed Steve Robinson the former WBO world and European featherweight champion who gives his interesting views on boxing and his career. (My thanks to Rachel Bowes who is Steve Robinson’s PR)

Ralph Oates

In which year were you born?

Steve Robinson 1968

Ralph Oates

Where in Wales were you born?

Steve Robinson Cardiff

Ralph Oates

What made you take up boxing?

Steve Robinson

My older brother Paul took me along to the gym. I started boxing at 9 and had my first contest when I was 10 years old. I then boxed until I was aged 12 to 13 then stopped for a while.

Ralph Oates

Which amateur club did you box for?

Steve Robinson Ely Star Boxing Club

by Ralph Oates

Ralph Oates

Can you remember how many amateur fights you had?

Steve Robinson I had about 22 amateur fights.

Ralph Oates

Have any members of your family ever boxed previously?

Steve Robinson

Yes, my older brother Paul, and my two sons, Luke and Jacob. Jacob is still Boxing.

Ralph Oates

Who was your first amateur opponent?

Steve Robinson. I can’t remember his name, but I lost to him. Truthfully, I think I was over matched on this occasion. If I remember correctly, he was a Welsh Champion, and I was facing him in my first contest.

Ralph Oates

Who was your most difficult amateur opponent?

Steve Robinson

I had 2 fights against a guy called Beaky Johnson. I found him quite tricky. Our first fight was close. I also lost in our second meeting; however, I thought I got robbed in that outing.

Ralph Oates

Who was your first professional opponent?

Steve Robinson

Alan Roberts from Neath whom I defeated by points over 6 rounds.

Ralph Oates

Who had been your most difficult professional opponent?

Steve Robinson

Prince Naseem Hamed. He was unorthodox and extremely awkward.

Ralph Oates

In which stance did you box southpaw or orthodox?

Steve Robinson

Orthodox but when boxing in the amateurs I used to switch in my first few fights.

Ralph Oates

How did you feel about fighting southpaws?

Steve Robinson

I felt alright about fighting southpaws. I defeated a few along the way. I was always told you have to move to your left against southpaws. I was also a left-handed orthodox which gave me a bit of an advantage. Since its the leading hand you use more often, your jabs, your hooks and most of your punches come from the leading hand. I had a strong powerful jab and shook a few people up with it.

Ralph Oates

How many professional bouts did you participate in?

Steve Robinson 51

Ralph Oates

During your professional career you boxed abroad in countries like France (twice) South Africa, Spain (twice) and Hungary. Would you have liked to have boxed in the USA?

Steve Robinson

Yes, I would have loved to, especially when I won the WBO world crown. I was trying to get a fight with Kevin Kelly who held the WBC version of the championship it would have been a unifi-cation contest with both titles on the line, but it failed to happen.

Ralph Oates

Who was your manager?

Steve Robinson

Dai Gardener

Ralph Oates

What would you say was your greatest achievement in professional boxing?

Steve Robinson

It’s got to be the night I won the WBO world featherweight title. I outpointed my opponent John Davison over 12 rounds on the 17 April 1973 to claim the vacant crown.

Ralph Oates

Once you retired from boxing were you ever tempted to make a comeback?

Steve Robinson

Yes, I was but I resisted the temptation.

Ralph Oates

Do you believe that boxing instils discipline and respect?

Steve Robinson

Yes, I do since it not only instils discipline but also confidence and respect. In so doing it calms you, making you a better person.

Ralph Oates

Are you pleased about the progress women are now making in boxing?

Steve Robinson

Yes, I am and I fully support them.

Ralph Oates

Women’s rounds in boxing last for two minutes, do you feel they should be increased to three.

Steve Robinson

Yes, women are just as fit as men.

Ralph Oates

Do you feel women’s world championship fights should be increased from 10 to 12 rounds or stay as they are?

Steve Robinson

Yes, I feel they should be increased to 12 rounds.

Ralph Oates

How do you feel about there being so many weight divisions in professional boxing?

Steve Robinson

I have no problem with this. It now makes it easier for boxers to make weight. When there was just 8 weight divisions many boxers had to struggle to make the stipulated weight which was not ideal.

Ralph Oates.

How do you feel about there being so many world boxing organisations like the WBC, WBA, IBF and WBO in professional boxing?

Steve Robinson

I think it’s a good thing with there being four major organisations. There is more opportunity to fight for a world title. There are so many good fighters out there, who deserve a shot at the championship. However, I do believe in unifying the titles when the chance arises, which I really wanted to do but wasn’t given the opportunity.

Part 2 of this interview continues in next month’s edition of the Cardiff Times

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Cardiff and Vale Recovery College health and wellbeing courses

by Natalie McCulloch

You may be familiar with the famous proverb which states that “The best things in life are FREE.”

Well, when it comes to gaining skills and knowledge about health and wellbeing ‘Cardiff and Vale Recovery + Wellbeing college’ are here to invite you to explore just that!

Francis Bacon famously said, “Knowledge is power” and where health and wellbeing are concerned the college believe it can certainly prove helpful in multiple ways.

There is no end of statistics available to highlight the effects and prevalence of poor mental and physical health and wellbeing in the UK and the associated stigma surrounding some of these. But thankfully, the NHS have initiatives like this college which aim to tackle issues as a country and empower our community through education and awareness.

Cardiff and Vale Recovery and Wellbeing college warmly invite you to begin an exciting and educational journey through their FREE courses!

The Recovery and Wellbeing college’s aims are:

•To increase our knowledge through an array of over 50 courses (all FREE!) covering topics concerning mental health, physical health, and wellbeing for the benefit of ourselves and others!

•To promote community inclusion and a sense of belonging through their courses, the people whom attendees meet on them, and the knowledge people can gain!

•To offer opportunities, hope and a sense of control through delivery of a service whereby all the courses are all co-produced by service users and professionals to ensure there is something for everyone to be involved with!

There are 90 colleges throughout the UK but excitingly The Cardiff and Vale branch is Wales’s very first Recovery and Wellbeing college!

All the courses take place across Cardiff and the Vale, some online and some in person.

The courses are open to anyone who is:

•Over the age of 18

•Living or working in Cardiff and Vale

•Is keen to be part of a college whereby we can learn from each other and support others.

•With or without personal experience of mental/ physical health challenges who would like to gain knowledge on a wide range of topics!

If you’re interested but unsure if you’re eligible, please do contact the college to find out more.

So, what makes the college so exceptional?

The Cardiff and Vale Recovery & Wellbeing College is unique to Wales as it puts peer support at the core of all the courses it delivers. They believe clinical and lived experience have equal value and worth. All the courses are co-produced and co-delivered by health care professionals and peer trainers with lived experience of mental health and physical health challenges. Course leads use their experience to support others.

If you have a lived experience of mental or physical health challenges, there may be an opportunity to get involved at helping to produce/develop a future course.

The college offers an array of over 50 courses including:

•Managing stress, health, and wellbeing at work

•Discovering self-compassion

•Understanding psychosis

•Menopause and movement

•Men and mental health

So, as you can see, there should be something for everyone and the service is always keen to hear of new suggestions to add to their course collection.

The college recognises that some people may require a little extra support to commence their journey, for example some people may need digital support with accessing the courses online or feel unsure about signing up at all, this is exactly why they have a friendly team of skilled trainers at hand to have that conversation with you and work out what you would like from the college, what skills/ strengths you already have and enable you to maximise your participation and make the most of the support available to you and those available for you to acquire.

Here are what some college students say: -

“I am not alone in recovery. Everyone’s journey/ recovery looks different The Recovery and Wellbeing College is a wonderful service that is much needed and appreciated within Cardiff and surrounding area and deserves support and commendation.”

“I’m not alone in my feelings even though it may feel that way Others have moved nearer recovery than me so there’s hope Others have been through some worse stuff than me so feel little less at bottom of pile.”

“I’m going to get a bag of teaspoons and use them to monitor my energy. Try to do 10 minutes of light exercise more often. Use an on off switch to show if I need to rest or am ready for activities”

“That art and creative writing are a brilliant way to express myself and my mental health”

“How to manage delusions better (from a professional perspective) NICE guidelines

about treatment- I wasnt aware ACT worked for psychosis Reminder about how common voices are”

“Others out there have similar problems to deal with and attend these courses looking for help. The staff of CRC have both experience and knowledge of mental health issues, enabling them to understand people on the course and our mental health concerns well. There is no shame in asking for or seeking help.”

On a personal note, as someone with lived experience and clinical experience of both mental and physical health challenges and a keen advocate of the role of wellbeing in our lives, I am thoroughly looking forward to embarking on my own journey with the college. Having met various team members and explored the detailed prospectus I was keen to share the great service the college offers with CT readers and encourage others to see what opportunities the college can offer them!

If all this sounds too good to be true, why not contact them today and check out how Cardiff and Vale Recovery college can be part of your journey or log onto their website to check out their current prospectus!

E: Cardiffandvale.Recoverycollege@wales.nhs.uk

Call: 02921 832619

www.cavuhb.nhs.wales/recovery- college

Leah Thomas is the new Head of Family & Matrimonial at Harding Evans. Leah qualified as a solicitor in March 2013 and has specialised in Family Law ever since. She is regularly praised by her clients for her compassionate nature. 13 Merthyr Road Whitchurch Cardiff CF14 1DA

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The Big Retreat Adventure and Wellbeing Festival

Set in the picturesque countryside village of Lawrenny in Pembrokeshire, Wales, The Big Retreat returned over a four-day period between 24-27 May.

We arrived on a hot sunny afternoon and checked in with reception. We were pleasantly surprised how large bell tents are inside. The room could fit four people. It was clean and spacious. The inside contained three beds, a few small tables to place your bits and pieces on and a lamp.

We offloaded our luggage then looked around the retreat. It was HUGE.

There was a choice of over 300 carefully curated experiences across 10 different areas. There was so much to choose from, you simply couldn’t fit it all in, so we opted for the following activities and treatments.

Having aches from working at a desk for prolonged periods of time I choose to go for a massage at the Woodland Spa. Glad I booked when I did because the treatments booked up quickly. There were various types of massage to choose from including Swedish and sports massage.

Feeling refreshed, then went to look for something to eat. We could hear loud music coming from the main stage with an instructor who sounded a little familiar.

On stage was none other than fitness instructor, Mr Motivator. He still had the same enthusiasm as he had back in the days of GMTV.

My children were not familiar with Mr Motivator, but they still took part in his fitness class. The atmosphere was phenomenal. People were laughing, jumping, and approaching us commenting that it was great to see children taking part too. After the exercise he then did a book signing. I have never seen my daughter look so excited. He was genuinely such a nice person who carries an aura of positivity.

Now it was time to eat. There was a lot of choice including Indian food, lamb, pork, toasties, jacket potatoes, pizza, cakes, burgers, and lots more. After some deliberation we opted for jacket potatoes then sat down on the bank to eat our delicious food overlooking the beautiful Cleddau estuary.

Later that day we attended an improv comedy event. At the last minute, the event was switched with a music event in the neighbouring tent. To our amusement music fans entered looking confused. The looks on their faces alone was enough to make you giggle. We had so much fun meeting new people, making up stories on the spot and having to stand in the most peculiar positions with strangers. It was extremely entertaining. If you’ve not attended an improv comedy event, we highly recommend you trying it.

We were then ready for the evening event on the main stage. First up was Lucy Spraggan who was incredibly popular with younger audiences - who charged to the main stage as soon as she started to sing. Next up was ‘The Feeling’ and by this time it had started to rain. When I say rain, I mean really rain. I wasn’t wearing a waterproof coat but stayed to the very end regardless of getting wet.

It was cold and wet so layered up with extra clothing when we arrived back at our tent. Thinking the duvet would be warm enough I tried to sleep. I was cold for the entire night. That will teach me for leaving my sleeping bag in the boot of the car.

The following day we attended an event with a sports science coach from the WRU. This was mainly for my son who plays rugby; interesting to know how the athletes are monitored for fitness. Later attended a talk about insomnia. Lucky for me I do not have this problem however, its interesting to know (its not always obvious) that there could be underlying health issues causing lack of sleep. The good news is, if you suffer with insomnia you can get help. One of the speakers gives courses to help you get rid of insomnia for good.

It was time to move so popped along to a dance class and was shown how to do paso doble and jive steps. We were having so much fun, wish this event lasted longer.

Another talk involved mental health. The speaker being British-American actress, comedian, writer, television personality, and mental health campaigner Ruby Wax. Ruby was incredibly open about suffering with depression. She spent two years visiting mental institutions giving talks for free. People in the audience opened up and spoke about very personal stories

son who sadly took his own life. It was a deeply moving moment. It felt like time had stood still. She emphasized that people need to talk openly about suicide. It could save a life.

If you know of anyone who suffers with a mental health problem, please ask them to seek help. If you have a mental health issue, please get help. You are not alone. There is always a way forward to help alleviate any issues whether it be counselling or needing medication.

My children ended the day paddle-boarding with trained staff. They were out on the river for approximately 1.5 hours and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

The festival was led by hundreds of instructors and artists. There was something for everyone and has been voted one of the top wellbeing and adventure festivals in the UK.

We certainly did have a holistic journey of wellness, and the attendees made you feel like you were part of a big friendly community.

The children spent most of the time without their mobile phones which was a major result.

The festival line-up of speakers, activities and workshops were inspirational and encouraged you to connect with your true self, leaving you feeling uplifted.

There was an array of musical talent, including celebrated artists we mentioned earlier as well as ethereal music and DJ sets. Food enthusiasts were treated to demos alongside talks on plant-based foods.

Having not glamped or attended a festival spread over several days and having two teenagers in tow, one who was apprehensive about glamping, I wasn’t sure how it would go. I was not disappointed and my daughter had such a wonderful time she wants to return next year.

Visit www.thebigretreatfestival.com

The 3 Life Lessons from the Police

A young police officer is sitting in the front room belonging to an elderly lady, taking a statement. He’s sitting on the sofa balancing his paper on his knee, she’s sitting on an armchair across the other side of the lounge with a cup of tea. You can hear the clock on the mantlepiece tick tock during the pauses in the conversation. Then, the door nudges open, and a German Shepherd dog wanders in, looks around and then proceeds to squat down in the middle of the room and deposit a fresh steaming turd. He then potters back out from whence he has come.

The police officer looks over at the lady, but she takes a sip from her teacup & looks as if she is pretending nothing has happened. Well, it’s not my dog and not my house, and everyone has different standards, thinks the young officer, so it’s not up to me to tell the dog off, so he just goes back to taking the statement.

However, fifteen minutes later, the statement is complete, and the curiosity becomes too much for him and as he leaves, he feels compelled to ask the question.

“I know it’s your house and up to you, but when your dog did a poo in the middle of the room, why didn’t you say anything?

“MY DOG?” replies the woman… “I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR DOG!”

Lesson 1: Fact can be Stranger than Fiction.

I’m John Donoghue: a former police officer with twenty years’ service and I want to impart the three life lessons I’ve learnt from my time in the police.

I was a response officer… that is, I was the initial response to 999 incidents & other jobs that were reported.

By John Donoghue

So, was I the best cop to have ever worked the streets? No.

But did I put in 100% effort to every incident I attend? Also No.

What I did was write about the funny, interesting, and bizarre jobs I went to…

I haven’t always been in the Constabulary and before joining I had spent 20 years in the military and had written my first book about growing up in Cardiff, my service and subsequent trip around the funny named places in Britain with my puppy, called Tails of the Unexpected: Digressions, a Dog and Project X.

And I thought I’d told all my tales… but I’d never come across a dog doing a poop in the middle of the room and nobody saying a word… and that’s when I knew I had to take up writing again. My first book of police tales being Police, Crime & 999: The True Story of a Front-Line Officer.

It seems that in the police, fact can indeed be stranger than fiction, and over the years, I’ve arrested a bride at her own wedding, chased a naked man around the deserted streets at midnight, discovered why wearing two pairs of socks can make you a suspect, found out what happens when you die if CSI don’t like you, arrested a member of the Royal family, fought with a Bonsai Tree called Geoff…

It wasn’t what at all what I was led to expect… after all I’d seen enough TV police shows before I joined to know how the police operates:

1.Most crimes are solved by a Chief Inspector with his Sgt sidekick.

2.During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

3.A detective, who is usually a divorced alcoholic, can only solve a case after he’s been suspended from duty.

Oh, and printers always work.

However, I soon found out someone had been telling me lies, and that’s when I discovered my next life lesson.

Lesson 2: Assume Nothing, Believe Nobody, Challenge Everything.

It’s the core lesson in policing and is something that has stood me well throughout my career, although didn’t make me very popular with the local vicar.

Along the way I also discovered some of the bizarre things that people call the emergency line for:

Someone called 999 because of a lack of hundreds & thousands on their ice cream.

An irate caller because McDonalds stopped doing breakfast at 11:00

A woman rang 999 to report a bad haircut.

Another 999 call because, “The neighbours are cutting their veg too loudly”.

There is a graveyard next door and it’s devaluing the price of my house.

All that being said, I hope I don’t come over as taking things too lightly or flippantly, as the other side of the police is some of the horrendous things we experience. They say on average a person experiences 4-8 traumatic experiences in their life, whilst a police officer can experience between 400-600.

There is a saying in the forensic world that every contact leaves a trace. A burglar may leave fingerprints, blood, traces of fibres at a scene, or minute particles of glass may be attached to an offender if they have broken a window etc.

And just as Every Contact Leaves a Trace in the forensic sense, every contact also leaves a trace on your soul, your psyche.

As a response officer, I’m first on scene at incidents and I’ve been to murders and horrendous traffic collisions, had people die in my arms and seen more dead bodies than I care to remember. And observing the worst that people do, day in day out, is bound to affect you.

So that’s why, like a lot of police officers, we turn to humour to get us through, often dark humour. As someone once said “Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life”

However, despite that, it can be all too easy to lose your faith in human nature, but whenever I start to feel like that, I recall an incident I attended many years ago and it always helps me get through. It relates to one woman, who despite her own predicament, refused to believe that people were all bad. That there was still hope, and that’s my final life lesson.

Lesson 3: There is always Hope.

The tale starts one early autumnal morning & a report had come in about an alarm activation in a small post office in a sleepy village on our patch.

Armed robbers had burst into the shop, fired a warning shot into the ceiling and demanded the money from the safe. It was all over in five minutes. The helicopter had been scrambled and every unit across the county was searching for the getaway car. I was first on scene and stepping over the debris I entered the shop.

The scene was carnage. Half an hour earlier, this was a quiet and sleepy post office. Now papers were strewn across the floor, glass from the broken window scrunched underfoot, the smell of cordite hung in the air, and everything was soaked as the fire sprinkler system did its worst.

The elderly post-mistress, who had been born and bred in the village had never seen anything like this. She was shaking, still in shock. “They came in with their masks on, shooting in the air, waving their shotguns about and demanding money” she told me.

I did all I could and made her a cup of tea, but despite all that had happened, and all that she had been through, I could tell that she hadn’t lost all faith in mankind’s inherent goodness and decency when she paused in her statement to muse, “I don’t know where they could have parked though, because it’s double yellow lines outside”.

John Donoghue has written five books about his service in the police & military. His latest, A Bonsai Tree Called Geoff: Police Stories I Probably Shouldn’t Share, is available from Amazon.

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The Handyman

‘A man for all reasons’

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£12 £12