CommUNITY Magazine (vol 3 iss 6) Vintage Pride

Your Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer Com m unity Center since 1970

OUR PROGRAMS INCLUDE Center Support: Offering low-cost counseling, and peer support groups such as Men’s Group, Women’s Group, and Family and Friends of LGBTQ people. Also providing comprehensive and culturally specific referrals for LGBTQ individuals. Our Rainbow Café has been offering peer support opportunities and vital referrals since 1971 and is an open community space for recurring events such as Game Nights & Supper Sundays.

Center Youth: Providing support, outreach & advocacy for LGBTQ youth ages 18 and under. Programs include 3 regional youth groups, Albany Youth Organizing! (AYO!) Drop in Space through a partnership with St. Anne Institute, HIV testing, civic engagement, the Center Youth Action Team, opportunities with state and local legislators, and annual events like the Alternative Prom and Youth in Power! Camp. Pride Center staff also support schools in 11 counties by providing training for staff and students on how to support LGBTQ youth.

Training & Education Services : Creating safer spaces and services for LGBTQ people in the Capital Region by offering comprehensive trainings for mental health and medical providers, colleges, businesses, organizations, and governmental agencies. Our nationally-known trainer is an expert in providing high quality, individualized trainings for entities seeking to improve services for LGBTQ individuals and communities.

Center Fam ilies: Dedicated to helping LGBTQ headed families in the Capital Region achieve their goals of building and sustaining happy and healthy families through providing ongoing social and community building opportunities.

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Center Arts: Our Romaine Brooks Gallery is a creative space and outlet for LGBTQ artists and themed work. The gallery is located on the first floor of the Pride Center. The LGBTQ Book Club also meets monthly to discuss works written by LGBTQ authors.

Trans Pride: Promoting the wellbeing of transgender and gender non-conforming communities in a safe, empowering space through social opportunities, community building, peer support, resource sharing and advocacy.

Vintage Pride : Connecting LGBTQ older adults to each other and to the broader community with monthly social gatherings, special events, educational and leadership opportunities, and taking time to celebrate and honor their resilience and contributions to our community.

Business Alliance : Business Alliance members gain exclusive visibility, ways to leverage customer allegiance & access to a dedicated consumer base. Join monthly Mixers to meet up with friends, distribute business cards, and make important business contacts.

Capital PRIDE: As the producer of the largest annual Capital Pride celebration in Upstate NY, the Pride Center brings a record breaking 30,000 festival and parade attendees, and 35,000 people celebrating throughout PRIDE week each year.

Com m UNITY Magazine: The Pride Center’s monthly publication highlights & informs the larger Capital Region on local LGBTQ news and events as well as supports other LGBTQ organizations. Over 3,000 avid readers reached per month across 10 counties.

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FEATURES Celebrate 45 Years as the Community’s Center with a look back at this year’s Capital Pride celebration

PRIDE In Pictures

pg. 6

Sail Along the Hudson with Vintage Pride in Pictures pg.21 Understanding Identities pg. 8 We Asked

pg. 9

Ageing into Lesbian-Feminism - An Excerpt from Life by Arlene Lev pg. 21 NEWS,UPDATES & INFORMATION From the Editor’s Desk pg. 7 Program Director’s Corner pg. 7 Quick Clips pg. 9 Joe Norton Laid to Rest with Military Honors pg. 9 Affiliates Calendar pg. 35 Weekly Events Calendar pg. 36 Special Events Calendar pg. 37 CommUNITY Calendar pg. 38 Advertisers Index

4

COLUMNS Trans View What Will it Take? by Moonhawk Riverstone pg. 14 Ask the Lawyer

by

Geri Pomerantz pg. 17

Vintage Pride: Who We Are Cricket Grillo...8 Hugs a Day

interviewed by Chuck Zimmerman pg. 20 To Be a Blessing Stretch Out Your Hand by Audrey Seidman pg. 25 Ask Mark Your Tax Questions by Mark D. Witecki pg. 27 Money Matters Love Wins

by

Thomas Walling

Out in the Garden A Class in My Garden by Judith Fetterley

pg. 29

pg. 31

Michael Cooks and You Can Too Summer Salads by Michael Meade pg. 33 Here’s Guffman The Play That Changed My Life by Patrick White pg. 35

pg. 30

Photo credits Cover ,this page: © Pilar Arthur-Snead / Photographic Expressions Opposite Page: © Dawn Sylvester

August 2015 Volume 3, Issue 6 CONTENTS

What will it take, if tremendous violence and hate seems to be the only foundation upon which legislatures move forward? ~Moonhawk RiverStone

Capital PRIDE Parade

5

2015 Capital PRIDE Festival photos: Š Dawn Sylvester

6

Capital PRIDE Festival

Marriage Equality become the law of the land.

But only just the day before, the New York State Senate once again failed to pass the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA).

While 18 states, the District of Columbia, and Puerto Rico F R O M T H E have already passed similar E D I T O R ’ S D E S K non-discrimination laws and implemented them successfully, New York State still has not. Cities across the state,

The past two months including Albany, Binghamhave been a whirlwind of ton, Buffalo, Ithaca, New York monumental activity for the City, Rochester, Troy, and LGBTQ movement, both na- Syracuse, have passed local tionally and in our Capital transgender inclusive nonRegion, with joyous victories discrimination laws as well and heart-breaking defeats. has Albany, Suffolk, TompOn June 26, 2015, almost 46 kins and Westchester counyears to the day of the Stone- ties. wall Riots, the US Supreme Court ruled that the Constitu- Our movement has come so tion guarantees a nationwide far, yet there is still so much right to same-sex marriage, left to do. We are now able striking down bans in 14 to focus our time, energy states, a landmark victory for and resources as an LGBTQ lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans- movement to fighting for othgender and queer (LGBTQ) er basic human rights desperrights in America. While we ately needed by those often here in New York State have forgotten in our community. had marriage equality since Here’s to continuing to orga2011, it was amazing to see nize around LGBTQ youth

PROGRAM DIRECTOR’S CORNER by R O S Y G A LVA Ń

This month, I am pleased to witness our magazine dedicated to one of my favorite programs at the Pride Center, Vintage Pride. Older adults in our community face many challenges ranging from having to go back into the closet for safety in nursing homes, to experiencing intense feelings of isolation and disconnect from our community. One thing is clear: older LGBTQ adults urgently need our support.

Hello! This is my very first entry in our new Program Director’s Corner in CommUNITY Magazine! I am excited to be able to share my thoughts with you, as well as communicate any important changes related to our programming.

Equally as important, they need our gratitude and they need visibility. As I write this, the United States Supreme Court recently agreed that marriage is a human right for everyone as upheld by our constitution. We cannot possibly celebrate this huge ac-

homelessness, transgender discrimination and violence, high quality affordable healthcare, senior services, dignity and safety. The fight is NOT over, it’s just begun

Be well and be empowered!

Michael Weidrich Interim Executive Director

complishment without taking into account the bravery and courage of older LGBTQ adults, whose existence shattered preconceived notions of sexuality and gender identity/ expression, and paved the way for acceptance like we’ve never seen before. Please join me in thanking all of the older adults in our lives, for without them we would not be here.

Vintage Pride is a social program of the Pride Center for LGBTQ older adults ages 55 + and friends. We host monthly potlucks and quarterly events.

If you know anyone who would benefit from this program please connect with me: rgalvan@capitalpridecenter. org.

7

Understanding Identities : Asexual

8

We asked: “WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE

QUICK CLIPS

PASSING OF MARRIAGE EQUALITY?”

Just a few short weeks after the Supreme courts historic decision in Obergefell v. Hodges we met up with some attendees at the Pride Center’s monthly Vintage Pride Potluck to see how they felt about this major victory in a fight for equality that many attendees had been a part of since it’s inception.

“I’m glad they passed it; maybe states that didn’t have it will go along and accept it without rejecting the decision.” - Roger Minch Jr. “The U.S. is growing spiritually; to me, it’s a spiritual thing.” - Greg McCormick

#translivesmatter

(It’s time to ask what will it take on pg. 12)

“It’s about damn time!” -Brother Ron Smith “Long Overdue” - “Bob” * Vintage Pride is a casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55 & older and their friends of all ages. On the thirds Sunday of every month the Pride Center holds a themed potluck at the First Presbyterian Church in Albany from 1-3pm. For more on Vintage Pride please visit: www.capitalpridecenter.org/programs-services/vintage-pride They Sailed Along the Hudson

(a look back with Vintage Pride on pg. 21)

Ageing into Lesbian-Feminism (An excerpt from a life on pg. 23) Above, left to right: Roger Minch, Greg McCormick, and, Brother Ron Smith. Not pictured “Bob”

Joe Norton Laid to rest with military honors

On July 20, 2015 Pride Center founder Joe Norton was interned at Saratoga National Cemetery. Norton’s longtime partner, Da...and Money Matters vid Epple was presented a memorial flag on (Tom says farewell and calls for an investment in our future fight on pg. 29) behalf of the President of the United States for Joe's service during World War II. Joe Norton was buried with full military honors in a joint plot shared with Mr. Epple.

LETTERS TO THE EDITORmweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org

9

Dan McCoy: An Ally to Albany’s LGBT Community

• Declared June Pride Month in Albany County • Within 6 months of taking office, Dan issued Executive Order 12-02 which prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression.

• Actively speaks out on behalf of the LGBT community throughout Albany County • Works closely with the Pride Center’s Youth Support Program to make Lawson Lake available without charge for the program’s Summer Leadership Camp • Works closely with LGBT organizations such as the Pride Center and In Our Own Voices to develop trainings and seminars throughout the county to combat bullying.

• Authored one of the first bills to make cyber-bullying a crime • Increased awareness and assistance for alcohol and substance abuse

Dan McCoy believes government should mirror the community it serves, he has appointed members of the LGBT community to positions of leadership in Albany County government.

Re-Elect Dan McCoy, Albany County Executive.

Vote Thursday, September 10th in the Democratic Primary Polls Open Noon to 9 p.m. For more info, www.danielpmccoy.com Paid for by the Friends of Daniel P. McCoy 10

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TR A NS* V IEW

What Will It Take? by

These past few months have been remarkable in ways, and in others, paralyzingly the same. On the eve of the 150th Anniversary of Juneteenth, the country was shocked by the murder of 9 men and women during their prayer meeting at historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, SC. As we all well know by now that hate crime created a firestorm of protest about the Confederate battle flag that is flown all over the South and at the South Carolina Statehouse for over 54 years. What was once a flag of the Confederate States had become a symbol of right wing hate groups and the target of protesters rallying for it to be removed. On July 10th, the Confederate flag was permanently removed to the Confederate Relic Room and Military Museum after Lt. Governor Henry McMaster and Governor Nikkie Haley signed legislation into law authorizing its removal within 24 hours of the signing of the legislation. The overnight of July 8-9th saw an intense debate in the SC House after the Senate had passed the bill. What was remarkable here was that Republicans and Democrats worked together to end this wrong and do the right thing. The most impassioned speech was given by Ms. Jenny Horne (R), a descendant of Jefferson Davis. Times can change. People from both sides of the aisle can work together to heed the will of the people and do the right thing.

It seems, as I noted in last month’s column, it takes an event such as Kent State or the wholesale murder of black men by white police officers before change happens. Many, if not

The will of New Yorkers is for GENDA to pass, yet, the Senate defies this

will with their lack of action 14

Moonhawk RiverStone

most times. Huge sea change has happened in this country--or the world-only on the heels of atrocity, often of atrocity long unacknowledged. But what happens when what’s happening is not seen as atrocity? Not visible enough to gain media attention?

What then? For instance you may remember how long it took for the world to recognize the atrocities of

What will it take, if

tremendous violence and hate seems to be the only foundation upon which legislatures move forward?

What does that mean for us who are transgender?

What pain and suffering are we to look to that will finally get the Senate to vote?

I shudder to consider the answer to that question.

the Holocaust, Cambodia, Uganda, Rwanda, Srebrenica? What does it take for human beings to act to stop hate and violence, to bring peace, or to right wrongs perpetrated way too long.

I did not feel joy on Friday, July 10th.

I felt heartened and had a sense of “at long last, we can begin”, but there is tremendous healing work to be done.

My tears were not of joy, but of recognition of the pain and suffering the Confederate flag represented and the

hate it can come to embody.

I come round again to New York State and our recently ended legislative session, and the deep disappointment felt on many fronts. Once again, I come back to the fact that we got promised about GENDA coming up for a vote in the Senate and once again, we were left wanting and once again, GENDA did not pass. There is, perhaps, no right way to compare what happened in South Carolina to GENDA, but still there’s a comment to be made here. That is, what exactly will it take to pass GENDA? Certainly our Senate is an embarrassment when compared with the courage and ability to act swiftly demonstrated by the South Carolina legislature.

The will of New Yorkers is for GENDA to pass, yet, the Senate defies this will with their lack of action. There is no debate, there is no reaching across the aisle for compromise or unity, there is no doing the right thing. No stirring speeches of the urgent need to protect transgender people. (Yes, South Carolina does not have any SOGIE laws--yet, but change is happening there, unlike New York.)

If Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Washington, DC, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Nevada, California, Oregon and Washington can get it right, why can’t New York? Yes, 31 states still do not have statewide civil rights laws, but 19 do.

What will it take?

Already hate crimes against transgender people are frequent and often terribly violent--an epidemic, but not one that reaches into the media as do other crimes of hate such as those in South Carolina or Staten Island.

What will it take, if tremendous violence and hate seems to be the only foundation upon which legislatures move forward? What does that mean for us who are transgender? What pain and suffering are we to look to that will finally get the Senate to vote?

I shudder to consider the answer to

Huge sea change has

happened in this country only on the heels of atrocity, often of atrocity long unacknowledged.

But what happens when what’s

happening is not seen as atrocity?

What then? that question. Instead, I would like to consider the alternative--that we do the right thing before more lives are lost. Before more families are torn apart in wrenching grief and pain. Cannot our lives become visible? Become valued integral parts of our communities without that being the result of violence? Cannot our lives become a source of joy now-before some awful tragedy forces the Senate’s eyes open and they pass GENDA. We could learn to do it differently--to do the right thing when it is called to our attention and not wait until atrocity strikes. What will it take to pass GENDA? My suggestion--Governor Cuomo could learn a thing or two from Governor Nikki Haley. And Senator John Flanagan could learn take a page from Representative Jenny Horne’s book. And, in our turn, we could raise a flag to that. Until next time...T

TRANS VIEW© #135

Rev. Moonhawk River

Stone of Riverstone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years with experience and extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and health.

Trans Pride Trans Pride

The Trans Pride program is dedicated to empowering trans* and gender non-conforming people and their allies through social opportunities, community building, resource sharing, and advocacy.

The Trans Pride program is dedicated to emDiscussion Group Meet & Greet powering trans* and gender non-conforming discussion group informal social evening peopleA and their allies throughAnsocial opportufocusing on issues for trans* people to nities, community building, resource sharing, important to trans* and advocacy. connect and build people and community.

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Trans* denotes a wide range of people including those who identify as transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, genderqueer, gender-non-conforming, questioning their gender, and more. We use the asterisk to help us remember that trans* identities and experiences are diverse, while still sharing a common thread.

All meetings take place at the Pride Center, 332 Hudson Avenue, Albany

P: 518.462.6138 PROGRAMS@CAPITALPRIDECENTER.ORG www.capitalpridecenter.org

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The Discussion Group and Meet & Greet are open to all trans* people and those questioning their gender, ages 18+.

Trans* denotes a wide range of people including those who identify as transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, genderqueer, gender-non-conforming, questioning their gender, and more.

We use the asterisk to help us remember that trans* identities and experiences are diverse, while still sharing a common thread.

All meetings take place at the Pride Center, 332 Hudson Avenue, Albany P: 518.462.6138 PROGRAMS@CAPITALPRIDECENTER.ORG www.capitalpridecenter.org 15

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ASK THE LAWYER by Geri Pomerantz

Short Answer: It depends on your particular circumstances. Please do consult with an attorney.

Much Longer Answer: We had occasion to celebrate the advancement of civil rights with the US Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, decided on June 26, 2015, holding that, as a matter of constitutional law, the states must allow same sex couples to marry, and must recognize those marriages lawfully performed elsewhere.

In New York State, we have of course had the right to marry since 2011.

With the passage of the marriage equality act in NY, came the statutory requirement that all laws referring to marriage must be read in a gender neutral manner. Of note, the Obergefell Court struck down other states’ laws that prohibited same sex marriage because those laws “exclude same-sex couples from civil marriage on the same terms and conditions as opposite sex couples.”

Legal parents have rights and obligations with respect to their children. In general, parents have the right to make decisions concerning the care, custody and control of their children. This includes directing the child’s upbringing, raising the child as she/he deems appropriate, making medical, legal and educational decisions for the child, deciding where the child resides, determining with whom the child associates, and

NOW THAT MARRIAGE EQUALITY IS THE LAW OF THE LAND, DO I STILL NEED TO ADOPT OUR CHILD TO PROTECT MY PARENTAL RIGHTS? managing the services and wages of the child, all without interference from the state and/or third parties.

Parents also have the duty to support their children, and provide for their care and nurturance. With that come the rights of the child to dependent benefits, such as social security, worker’s compensation, and their parent’s employer provided health insurance coverage. A child has a right to inherit from her legal parent, even if there is no will.

Of particular concern upon the termination of the parent’s relationship, legal parents have the right to seek custody, and visitation, of their children. In New York State, except in extremely limited circumstances (called “extraordinary circumstances”) only legal parents have a right to seek custody or visitation of a child. When the parent’s relationship is intact, or where they are united in their position that both are the child’s parents, there may be a dispute with third parties, such as a sperm donor who wants to be recognized as the legal parent, or with a medical provider as to who can give consent for the child’s care, or a government entity as to benefits which flow from the legal relationship.

A legal parent of a child is either the biological, gestational or genetic parent, or the adoptive parent. All legal parents have equal parental rights, unless there is a court order to the contrary. For example, if one parent is the child’s biological parent and the other is the child’s adoptive parent, the two parents have equal rights to seek custody of the child.

Like most other states, New York

State law assumes that a child born during a marriage is the child of both parents. Under NY’s statute, (DRL 24), the marriage can take place before or after the birth of the child.

The presumption of legitimacy of a child born during a marriage, means that the legally married couple are both presumed to be the legal parents of a child. But, this is a presumption that may however be rebutted, if for example the couple separates and the biological parent challenges the other parent’s parentage. Or a known sperm donor seeks to establish his parentage.

It’s important to note that the concept of legitimacy was created to protect property rights of men, for example to preclude a child who was not born during a marriage from inheriting his father’s wealth. Common law disabilities were imposed upon the “illegitimate” or “bastard” child.

The modern statutes were designed to address these inequities, in part.

While in our more modern times we see it as offensive to refer to a child as “illegitimate”, our laws have not caught up with reproductive technology, nor the many ways in which our LGBT community forms family, with or without children. Still in NY, there is no legal recognition of a parent-child relationship, unless there is a biological relationship, an adoption, or a relationship established and recognized because of a marriage.

First, if you want to try to rely on the marital presumption to establish parentage, you must be married to the biological parent of your child. If you are not married, the only way to establish a legal relationship with your child is to adopt her.

Ask the Lawyer continued on pg. 18

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Ask the Lawyer continued from pg. 17

A legal parent of a child is either the biological, gestational or genetic parent, or the adoptive parent

If the child is born to a married woman by means of artificial insemination performed by a medical provider, with the spouse’s written consent, appropriately signed and acknowledged by both the spouse and the medical provider, under NY law the child is deemed the child of both the mother and her spouse. As required by the marriage equality act, this statute (DRL 73) has been held to be applicable to same sex married couples. If this is exactly your situation (which means that you have followed the statute exactly), and if your legal dispute is inside NY state and would be decided by a NY court (or federal court), you likely would not need an adoption to assert your rights to parentage. This should be true whether the dispute arises between you and third parties, or between you and your spouse upon separation. If your dispute arises elsewhere in the USA now, or in a foreign county that recognizes the marriage, you would have a good argument that your parental rights should be recognized there too. However, if your dispute arises under the laws of certain US states (say for example, Kansas), you might have to litigate the issue to have your parental rights recognized, at least until there is a body of case law establishing the right. Further, if you (or the child) travel to a country where the marriage is not recognized, your parental rights flowing from the marriage will likely not be recognized.

If your situation does not fit exactly within the requirements of DRL 73, there is still a presumption of legitimacy of a child born to a married couple. However, there have been some recent cases in NY that have not applied that presumption to children born to same sex married couples.

In one case, the child was conceived through artificial insemination, but without medical supervision (e.g. a 18

turkey baster). Both parents clearly held out the child as the child of the marriage. However, upon the biological mother’s objection to her spouse’s parentage, the court held that the presumption of legitimacy of a child born to a marriage was inapplicable because it is based on the presumption of a biological relationship between the child and spouse that is not possible with a same sex spouse. Therefore, the spouse had no right to seek custody or visitation.

This case was upheld on appeal by an intermediate level appellate court.

Paczkowski v. Paczkowski, (Ap Div, 2nd Dept 5/20/2015). There was a similar holding, in a Monroe County case decided last year. In that case, the child was born to a married woman, who got pregnant as a result of having sex with a man while she was married to a woman. QM v BC and JS (sup Ct Monroe County 10/21/14). Hopefully, other courts will address these issues in different ways to protect parent child relationships.

A legal parent of a child is either the biological,

gestational or genetic parent, or the adoptive parent. All legal parents have equal parental rights, unless there is a court order to the contrary.

If you are not the biological parent of your child, the only way you can be sure that your parental rights will be respected is if you adopt your child.

This is true for straight parents as well as LGBT parents, in certain respects.

Second parent adoptions are common in New York, and elsewhere. In a second parent adoption, a co-parent adopts his or her partner’s child without terminating the parental rights of the partner. If you are married, it would be called a step parent adoption.

Adoption does of course require the consent of the biological or legal parent. I understand that adoption is costly and intrusive. I also believe that a parent should not have to adopt his or her child. However, adoption is far

less costly and draining than extensive litigation in an effort to establish a parental right to seek custody.

When he ruled that the spouse in Paczkowski v. Paczkowski was a legal stranger to her child, the lower court Judge acknowledged the inequity and imbalance in the law. While several other states have proceedings for parentage judgments, these are not available in NY. In other states, for example, someone who has lived with a child and held herself out as a parent can establish her legal parentage, regardless of marital status. Several states allow couples, regardless of marital status, who intend to become parents through ADI or surrogacy, to declare the partner as a legal parent.

While we certainly have come a long way, there is still a lot of work to do.

The legal rights of LGBTQ families are an ever-changing landscape, to be addressed monthly in this column. The material in this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to give legal advice, and should not substitute for the independent advice of counsel. The views expressed in this column are solely those of Ms. Pomerantz and do not reflect the opinion of the Pride Center.

The material in this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to give legal advice, and should not substitute for the independent advice of counsel. The views expressed in this column are solely those of Ms. Pomerantz and do not reflect the opinion of the Pride Center.

Geri Pomerantz is an attorney in the capital district with a practice focused on family and matrimonial law, specifically including LGBTQ families. Geri conducts continuing legal education training for other lawyers, and conducts community education, on issues of importance to the LGBTQ community.

She recently presented on parentage issues at the LGBT law day at Albany Law School. Geri is a member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of the Capital District. She can be reached at GPEsq@pomerantzlaw.org.

19

My interview with Cricket Grillo commenced with some typical questions with brief answers: geographic timelines, siblings, early education, typical and unique childhood experiences and…..”Hey, wait a second. You’re the subject of my next ‘Who We Are article’, I boomed.

Cricket had been asking me the questions about my early experiences. I protested and her response was direct and simple.

“Chuck, as we start the interview I had wanted you to feel comfortable.”

“Let the FUN begin! I mused.

Cricket Grillo…..

8 Hugs a Day!

Pope? ” eventually led us to a discussion of spirituality and of Cricket’s emerged thoughts on life as a creative force and “stardust and the Big Bang”.

“Firmly hold on to your Friends!” and “My Friends are my Family” are Nora Grillo saw the light of day in two statements that Cricket utilized Brooklyn, New York and she was when we approached the topic of raised in ordinarlove, loves and relationships. ily suburban It became very clear to R os e d a le, me that she had alQueens. ways, and continues The famto place long-term ily’s evenfriendships in extual retremely high relocation gard. interviewed by to Glens Chuck Zimmerman Falls in “Grillo, her inby the ter vening way, means teen years Cricket in was precipiSpanish and tated by a change of her father’s em- Italian!” this recently ployment. “Glens Falls, the Siberia retired educator exof my new existence!”, Cricket in- plained enthusiastically terjected. Each Vintage Pride: Who to me while we discussed We Are interview follows its own Cricket’s workforce expecourse. What began to emerge in rience in the Chatham, my notes as I spoke with my pres- New York School Disent subject was a series of personal trict where she taught maxims and random phrases enthu- Social Studies on both siastically rendered. “I’m a Lesbian the Middle and High Feminist!” Cricket Grillo perked as School levels. I often she described to me her eventual think of myself as part involvement with the LFL, Lesbi- detective in this interans for Liberation, a 1970’s woman’s view business, and when support group whose interests were I hinted about her age, as much social as political within the Cricket quirked, “If I do Capital District and on the SUNY tell you mine I will need Albany front. to shoot you!” Subject changed.

“I am a recovering Roman Catholic” and “Why can’t I [and women] Among my friends and have the opportunity to be the

Vintage Pride: Who We Are

20

acquaintances who know Cricket Grillo, I believe that “effervescence” could be one single common description of her personality. She related to me that she was shy in parts of her past life. “Lives and personalities can change, and with the realization of the need to love oneself first, and also that not loving yourself better than loving others” can be life-altering.

In retirement Cricket enjoys being “creatively idle”, which includes varied physical health activities, film/ film noire, drumming with a formal group, dancing, history, biking, easy hiking and ……well, she was on her way to a yoga Pilates class following the interview. “In retirement we are not finished” Cricket perked, so ”Life is a Trip, get on the Ride!”

Cricket’s cheerful advice/suggestion simply stated as we parted was “Be sure there are eight hugs a day in y o u r life!” We hugged.

SAIL ALONG THE HUDSON WITH VINTAGE PRIDE! On June 2nd we celebrated a breathtaking start to Pride Month by singing, dancing, eating scrumptious food and enjoying the charming sights of the Hudson River aboard the Dutch Apple Cruise!

Here are some snapshots of our night to remember. * Vintage Pride is a program of the Pride Center for LGBTQ older adults ages 55+ up and friends.

21

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Addictions & Recovery

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continued on page 24

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Today I live with two young men and 3.75a“ x 5” dyke who can pass for one.

3.75 “ x 5” 3.75 “ x 5” I have raised my boys to not call women girls and to embrace (not fear) feminism. My breasts still miss the sun at Michfest every summer.

I admire the queer youth of today, and I know they can do what they are doing precisely because we did the work of feminism. I plan to get old, grow my facial hair, get another tattoo, and wear bright red lipstick.

Feminism has given me the freedom to be fully myself.

adipiteisonal & HolLev istic Psychotisherapieas Traditional & Holistic PsychotherapiesTraditionalArlene & Holistic PsychothTrerIstar social worker, famGrowth for Healing & Growth for Heal Growth for Healing &activilying &therapist,

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Healing Trauma & Abuse Healing Trauma & Abuse Heal i n g Tr a uma & Abuse choicesconsulting.com), and Institute Depression & Anxiety for Depression & Anxiety Depression & AnxiThe ety Gender, Relationship Violence Relationship Violence Relationship Violence Relationships, Identity and Sexuality Addictions & Recovery Addictions & Recovery Addictions & Recovery (TIGRIS – www.tigrisinstitute.com).

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Body Image & Eating Disorders Body Image &be Eating Disordreached ers Body Image & Eatat ing Disorder518-438-2222 s can

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Fax 438-7777

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany www.bnaishalom.albany. ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Sholom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy www.berithsholom.org (518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany www.bethemethalbany.org (518)436-9761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady www.easternparkway.weebly. com (518)374-4306 St. George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady. org Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161 First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany

www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449 First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany www.firstcongregationalalbany.org (518)482-4580 First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany www.FirstLutheranAlbany. org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Methodist Church, East Greenbush www.fumceg.org First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany (518) 436-8812 Presbyterian New England Congregational Church, Saratoga http://pnecchurch.org/ Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville.org (518)458-1562 Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany www.NCCofA.org/holytrin. html

(518)434-8861 Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar www.journeyucc.com Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs www.saratogaspringsumc. org (518)584-3720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road, Northville staelredpriory@aol.com (518) 863-8086 / (518) 4348861 St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany www.standrewsalbany.org (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Temple Israel 600 New Scotland Avenue, Albany www.tialbany.org (518) 438-7858 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany www.unitychurchinalbany. org (518)453-3603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open!

Affirming!

Welcoming!

Joyous!

T O

B E

A

B L E S S I N G

Stretch Out Your Hand by Audrey Seidman

Bridge building is sweaty work.

I’m not talking about the Tappen Zee here; I’m talking about creating a path to hear, understand, accept and respect those we may consider to be “the other.” I’m talking about taking baby steps, sometimes even a courageous leap, into territory that may feel strange and even dangerous.

I find that crossing a great divide becomes easier when you have a partner approaching from the other side. As a Jewish, lesbian progressive, I feel blessed to have found such a partner in my friend Gary, a conservative Evangelical Christian, an ordained minister not currently serving in a pulpit.

I met Gary in the fall of 2012 as we began a journey of studying pastoral care at Albany Medical Center. Our differences offered up juicy opportunities to notice and explore conflicting views. Our footings were grounded in our common purpose, in the intentional interfaith environment, in the practice of offering honest feedback, in the soil of curiosity. How could I not care about a man as gentle, caring, prayerful and open-hearted as Gary?

A friendship blossomed. And over the past three years Gary has demonstrated in multiple ways his interest in learning more about different viewpoints of how one might interpret what the Bible says about homosexuality.

Then, in April, as members of Advocates for Welcoming Congregations began to plan our June Interfaith Pride Service, the country was abuzz about the Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act. This state law says the government cannot intrude on a person’s religious liberty unless it can prove a compelling interest in imposing that burden and do so in the least restrictive way. Many interpreted this a cover for those who wished to deny

services to members of the LGBTQ community, especially as same-sex marriage was gaining momentum.

Our committee agreed that as people of faith, our hope was to find the humanity in all people, to reduce the fear and the hateful rhetoric that is flung both ways across the divide on this issue. We agreed to use the theme “Building Bridges of Compassion and Community” for our service and, to offer inspiration and hope. We invited Gary to join me in talking about the growth of our friendship.

Gary prayed long and hard about this invitation. We talked about what good might come from sharing how we came to grow a friendship, about how he might be received. And on June 8, we told stories to those present about how we’ve come to see the Holy in each other.

And then Gary invited me to the nondenominational church he attends; he was to preach on July 5 while the pastor was on vacation. It was surely my turn to step towards his world. The service was mostly inspirational music, most of us standing as we sang the words projected on the screen, led by a beautiful Hispanic voice backed up by a sizeable band. I found myself enjoying the music, singing along, hearing the cries of “Jesus,” and “Hallelujah.”

And then the unexpected, but not surprising. A white-bearded man seated in the row behind me testified to his pain and disappointment in the recent turn of events – the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage decision. I sat down to ground myself as I listened. The man talked about his own inner work that was needed for the change he wanted to see; he didn’t attack. The pain that had quickly grabbed my heart eased.

I hoped that Gary and his wife weren’t

show up, step forward and stretch out your hand

made uncomfortable on my behalf. I recalled the email Gary sent me on that historic day of June 26: Naturally I thought of you today when I heard about the Supreme Court’s decision. I imagine it is a happy day for you….

And then it was Gary’s time to preach.

Using the story of Jesus healing the man with a withered hand in synagogue on the Sabbath (Mark 3:1-6), Gary distilled the teaching into three steps and a recommendation: show up, step forward and stretch out your hand; the moral, he says, is to stretch or die.

His message echoed what I am reading in Rabbi Amy Eilberg’s book, “From Enemy to Friend: Jewish Wisdom and the Pursuit of Peace.” She writes it is a mark of Hebrew wisdom “to actively work at expanding our heart’s capacity to hold multiple views. ‘Stretch your heart,’ it encourages...expand your heart and mind so that you have space for your own worldview and also for those of many others, for they may contain as aspect of divine truth that eludes you.”

Encouraged by the message of Gary’s sermon, strong in my own center, and with a vulnerable and stretching heart, I belted out the closing song at church that morning in true prayer: You make me brave…

You call me out beyond the shore into the waves You make me brave…

No fear can hinder now the love that made a way.

the moral is to stretch or die

Audrey Seidman is Co-President of the In terfaith Story Circle of the Tri-City Area. She is also a spiritual director, nurturing and companioning others on their spiritual journeys.

She can be reached at seidmanaudrey@yahoo.com.

This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

25

Members

as of May 15, 2015

Albany Medical Center Albany Renaissance BBL Hospitality Albany.com/Mannix Marketing Alliance for Positive Health Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Aras Performance Group, Inc Trans*,Queer & Allied Bank of America/ Merrill Lynch Professionals’ Bombers Burrito Bar Networking Event Buenau’s Opticians Canterbury Animal Hospital Capital District YMCA Casswood Insurance Central Avenue BID Classy Body Art Connections Psychotherapy Consumer Optical Corey Jamison Consulting, LLC. Deb Best Practices Decrescente Deja Vu Empire Merchants North Experience and Creative Design, Ltd. Geri Pomerantz, Esq GP Fund Solutions LLC HomoRadio Interim Healthcare Janet Stein / Arbonne International Jay Zhang Photography Joseph Roche, Accounting Journey United Church of Christ Key Bank L&P Media Lucas Confectionery and Wine Bar Mark D. Witecki, CPA Mazzone Hospitality / Aperitivo Bistro Mexican Radio Schenectady Montgomery County Office for Aging New York Life Nico’s Rooftop Tavern Northeast Acura Oh Bar Peck’s Arcade Price Chopper Supermarkets Rain Modern Chinese RBC Wealth Management River Street Men’s Club ROCKS PM Ronnie Mangione / Wealth Advisory Group Mexican Radio Samaritan Hospital Scofield Access Solutions LLC Schenectady Security Plumbing & Heating Supply 325 State St. Skylands Services, INC Schenectady, 12305 Spectrum 8 Theatre Sunrise Management and Consulting $10 Suggested Donation TD Bank donate in advance at The Desmond www.capitalpridecenter.org/events/augustnetworking The Grocery The Mansion Inn Tri City Rentals University at Albany Foundation Warner & Warner Waterworks Pub August’s event is brought to you by the Wells Fargo Pride Center of the Capital Region & Wolff ’s Biergarten, Schenectady General Electric’s GLBTA Alliance

Monday, August 17 6-8

26

ASK MARK YO U R TA X Q U ESTI O N S

Welcome to the DEAR MARK column where you can ask a tax question. Of course some questions cannot be answered to due to the limited space in this column or warrant more facts due to specific circumstances of the taxpayer. Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304 ----------------------------------------------

Dear Mark, Years ago I rolled over my New York State Pension to an IRA that I set up myself at a local broker. Now I want to take some of the money out but don’t know how NYS will tax it. I am aware of the 59 /12 year rule. I am 61. I know that if the pension was withdrawn from NYS directly that NYS would not tax it because it is a government pension. Also I did not mix any other money into that IRA. I have no other pensions.

I need help!

Dear I need help!, Only the amount that was rolled over directly into the IRA is considered a return of investment and not taxable assuming that amount is included in your federal taxable income. The earnings above and beyond the original contribution as taxable but may be excluded up to twenty thousand dollars a year also assuming that amount is included in your federal taxable income. I assume you are still a NYS resident and are filing NYS taxes.

Dear Mark W,

Mark Witecki CPA,

I hired a financial planner. He gave me a one sheet questionnaire and started giving me advice. He doesn’t return my calls. I gave him a deposit. I don’t know what to do. I asked for advice on retirement . I see you are a certified financial planner.

I have not yet filed my 2014 tax return but did file an extension for it. I am going through my receipts and found that I purchased office equipment for my business in 2013 on a credit card but did not pay for the card until 2014. What to do?

Please sign me, Exasperated.

Dear Exasperated, If the person was a CFP(R), then that person should have had you sign a retainer agreement as well as a disclosure agreement and some other documents before the engagement began.

My response would take more space than this column would allow. Please contact me for further assistance. ============================

Mark, I have not filed New York State taxes for the last three years although I have filed my Federal returns. Last week I received a nasty notice from the New York State Tax Department asking me for the back returns. The problem is I also worked in Vermont in 2012 and never filed there. I don’t want to have problems.

Sincerely, JB (no relation to JB Fletcher) Dear JB, The simple answer is to file the back returns including Vermont as quickly as possible. If you need assistance please contact me There is a program that New York State has when filing back taxes where penalties may be waived.

Dear What to Do? A charge on a credit card is equivalent to writing a check. You should amend your 2013 return to take that expense and should consider whether to take the amount as Section 179 depreciation Please contact me with any questions.

Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others.

Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements.

Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York

============================= ============================= =============================

Mark D. Witecki Certified Public Accountant Certified Financial Planner™ Certified Fraud Examiner Tax Preparation 3701 State Street, Schenectady, NY 12304 (518) 346-4000 f: (518) 346-5196

Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the Certified Marks CFP (c).

Certified Financial Planner ™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S. which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP’s initial and ongoing certification requirements

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0214-03393

MONEY MATTERS by

Thomas

J.

Walling

Love Wins

Marriage Equality is now nationwide, in case you haven’t heard.

My own best case scenario estimate was for this to happen in maybe, 2020.

Here it is today, in my opinion, way ahead of schedule. In the last decade or so, I have made a point to creatively discuss ways of legally and financially protecting our families from the inequities caused by homophobia and discrimination.

Initially, when the common people saw orientation as a choice, I can almost understand their throwing the “Special Rights” defense around.

What I could not understand was how everyone had an opinion regarding the validity or sanctity of our unions.

To this day, when someone says they think it is a right of the individual states to decide, I wonder who gives anyone a right in America to judge our love.

Even when supporters relayed to me that they believed in my life decisions regarding my family, a little voice would always say to me “who gives you that right?” Sexual orientation is really no one’s business unless they are looking to date you. I have always seen it as puzzling when states thought it was their decision whether or not to give us the same rights. People use this defense over and over. If

this were actually the case, are we sure states like Louisiana and Mississippi would even have legalized inter- religion or inter-racial marriages? I am not. The majority should not be the moral compass of the minority.

Does anyone remember lobotomies, electroshock therapy, or conversion therapy? Those who have probably do not remember the first two, I say tongue in cheek. How about listing us in the DSM as being mentally ill? Do we remember Conservatives wanting to ship us all to an island and let us all die during the AIDS crisis?

How about t-shirts saying really witty things like “AIDS…Kills Fags Dead?”

The infamous Reverend Phelps and his band of morally superior people using signs reading “God Hates Fags?” I forgive them, for they knew not what they did.

We should never forget from where the pink triangle comes. It comes from Nazi Germany and the death camps.

When did it turn purple? That was originally reserved for the religious fundamentalists and Seventh Day Adventists. McCarthy era hunts for the sexual deviants that ended in suicide or extortion? Countless youths bullied ending in countless suicides?

Harvey Milk, Matthew Shephard, Stonewall, the dark first decade of the AIDS crisis? These are all threads that are woven into our tapestry of LGBTQ culture. They are all products of treating people as “less than.” We have Marriage Equality. We need to work toward social and religious equality.

Things still need to change. That is why it is so important to support your local groups, like the Pride Center, who still wage the battle every day. It may seem maudlin reminiscing the negatives of the past, but that is the

only way to truly appreciate and protect our present and future. So many have worked so hard and given so much.

Over the past years, my mission with writing this column has been to educate and inform readers of legal and financial issues targeting our community. I find it fitting to conclude my column with the fall of DOMA and Marriage Equality nationwide. My point for this last column is to try to ensure our history resonates forward and to show my amazement at how speedy our road to equality is traveling. It is also to thank my readers for taking the time to include me, even in the smallest way, in your lives. Remember, money matters!

We have Marriage Equality. We need

to work toward social and religious equality

Thomas J. Walling CFP® is an Investment Advisor Representative of and offers securities and investment advice through Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC. (Member FINRA/SIPC) and a Registered Investment Advisor. Branch office:235 Lark St. #43 Albany, NY 12210.

He is also past presenter at the Pride Center on financial affairs affecting the LGBT community as well as for SAGE of NYC. Tom Is past president of the board of directors of Our Brothers’ Keepers Foundation.

Reach Thomas at 518.878.1294 or ceteranetworks.com

Thomas J. Walling, CFP®

INVESTMENT ADVISER REPRESENTATIVE

NY Insurance License #LA910069 235 Lark St., Suite 43 Albany, NY 12210

Direct: 518.878.1294 thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC

Customized solutions to allow you to maintain your independence.

www.scofieldsolutions.com 518-956-0345

29

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30

out

in

the

garden

Ab yClass in My Garden Judith Fetterley

I was blessed in this summer of difficult weather to catch a break. My first on-site class, “Design Challenges and How to Meet Them (or not),” was scheduled for Wednesday, July 1 at 10.

As usual, it was raining in the morning when I awoke. But when my first “student” arrived at 9:45, the rain stopped, and it did not begin again until after the class had ended two hours later. A miracle indeed and one I could use in this most stressful of all summers.

The class focused on four areas of design challenge and my responses to these challenges: the entrance garden, the driveway garden, the low-maintenance garden, and the patio garden.

The entrance garden proved to be of particular interest to the 15 gardeners who came to my class. Entrance gardens set the mood; they should reflect the values you want your garden as a whole to express. They also need to be welcoming, inviting the visitor to enter the home or more of the garden. I have tried to make my entrance garden an experience in lushness, which to me is both welcoming and expressive of my garden’s values. Richly foliaged and richly colored plants set closely together reflect what I hope is a generosity of spirit that exists throughout the garden.

Lushness, however, presents its own challenge, as thickly planted can rapidly become chaos. Retaining the fine line between the two requires judicial, and fairly constant, thinning and pruning. I wish my gardens as well to have an element of surprise. I have tried to provide this experience in the entrance garden through unexpected plantings – for example, a very large hosta, “Sum and Substance,” planted in full sun in

front of a lamp post which surprises by both its size and location.

A path winds through my entrance garden leading to the front door. I have constructed this path to meet the challenge of slowing people down as they approach the house so that they may begin to see what is there. I chose limestone for the path. Limestone is beautiful in itself but a bit rough on the surface; one can’t race up this path. I curved the path not only to slow down one’s approach but also to provide view lines to specific plantings on both sides.

The path is generous in its width and interspersed with even more generous landings at the curves. In its size and construction, the path sets the tone for the visit which begins at the front door.

The front door should be visible from the path, no matter how much it may curve, as people need to know their destination. I recently removed a large barberry and a large “dwarf ” Alberta spruce from the foundation plantings in front of my house because they were blocking the view to the front door from the path. I reminded my class that to be a gardener you must be able to kill.

My entrance garden presents me with an additional challenge, as one side gets shade and the other gets sun. Sun plants and shade plants can have very different tonalities, resulting in a garden that does not cohere. I have tried to solve this problem by finding plants that will grow well in both sun and shade (Heuchera and Astilbe) and by forcing some shade plants to live in sun (Hostas) and some sun plants to live in shade (strawberries), so that plantings are repeated on both sides of the path. I have, however, relied mostly on color to do the to be a gardener you must work of bringing the two sides together. be able to kill I have used a blue spruce on each side, and repeated the blue through Hostas.

Richly foliaged and richly

colored plants set closely together reflect what I hope is a generosity of spirit that exists throughout the garden

I have used gold as well, linking the gold shade-loving Hachonechloa with the golden sun-loving Euonymous fortuneii. White Astilbes connect with white geraniums; variegated iris grow on both sides.

The class was lively and full of questions. One plant in particular attracted their attention – the fastigiate plum yew (Cephalotaxus herringtonia). I positioned this plant to provide a focal point from the path just before you reach the front door. It is unexpected, as so few people are familiar with it and thus it provides horticultural interest and a bit of surprise. I chose this plant for its deep green foliage, its fastigiate shape, and the fact that, unlike the English yew, it is deer resistant. They were also interested in the Japanese “Ghost” fern. Unlike most Japanese ferns, “Ghost” is upright, not mounding. Thus it provides a striking backdrop for the mounding white Astilbe ‘Bridal Veil.’ Its ghostly foliage also illuminates the whiteness of the Astible.

Being able to share the delight that this combination of shapes and colors creates made me hope for more miracles and more classes.

Judith Fetterley lives and gardens in Glenmont, New York. She also runs Perennial Wisdom, a garden design business for new and existing gardens.

Reach Judith at f etterleyj@gmail.com

31

agmc

is an affiliate of

AGMC

AGMC is looking for new members

Show

Albany Gay Men’s Chorus

Your Pride Online

Rehearsals are Tuesdays 6:45 - 9:00 pm at the First Lutheran Church of Albany.

For more Information Website: www.albanygmc.org E-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com Voice-mail: 518-459-7563 Join us on facebook... Albany Gay Men’s Chorus - agmc

32

MICHAEL COOKS AND YOU CAN TOO by MICHAEL MEADE

Summer Salads

Summer’s here and it’s time to enjoy nature’s bounty. Tomatoes, corn, beans, peppers, asparagus and herbs, all fresh and ripe and readily available at farmer’s markets, roadside stands or right from your own garden. As Gershwin said, the livin’ is easy.

Here are two summer salads that make a perfect main dish for a picnic or casual supper or a great side for a potluck or a barbeque. Have a wonderful summer and I’ll see you in the fall.

Shrimp Salad w Potatoes and Green Beans 1 lemon wedge plus 2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice 4 green onions, finely chopped, trimmings reserved 3 Tbs. minced fresh dill, stems reserved 3/4 lb. boiling potatoes, cut into 1-inch pieces 3/4 lb. green beans, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces 1 tsp. whole-grain Dijon mustard 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil 1 Tbs. coarse kosher salt, plus more, to taste /4 lb. large shrimp, peeled and deveined Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Fill a small saucepan three-fourths full with water. Add the lemon wedge, green onion trimmings and dill stems and bring to a boil over high heat.

Cover, reduce the heat to low and simmer to blend the flavors while you cook the vegetables.

In a steamer over boiling water, steam the potatoes until just tender, about 15 minutes. Transfer the potatoes to a colander, drain briefly and then transfer to a large bowl. Using a rubber spatula, gently stir in 1 Tbs. of the lemon juice.

Add the green beans to the steamer and steam until just crisp-tender, about 6 minutes. Transfer the beans to a colander, drain briefly and then add to the bowl with the potatoes.

In a small bowl, combine the mustard and the remaining 1 Tbs. lemon juice.

Gradually whisk in the olive oil. Add to the potatoes and green beans. Add the chopped green onions and the minced dill and stir gently to combine.

Increase the heat under the seasoned water to high and bring to a boil. Add the 1 Tbs. salt and the shrimp. Return the water to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer until the shrimp are just cooked through, about 2 minutes. Drain well.

Cut the shrimp into 3/4-inch pieces and add to the salad. Toss to combine.

Season the salad with salt and pepper and serve immediately. Serves 2.

NOTE: This recipe doubles easily and can be made 1 day ahead of time. If you are cooking for 2, consider doubling the recipe and serving it again for an extra-quick dinner the next night. When steaming the green beans, take care not to overcook them so they will retain their fresh green color. For even faster preparation, purchase cooked shrimp that has already been peeled.

Roast Asparagus Salad with Chèvre 1 1/2 lb. asparagus Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste About 1/2 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil 2 Tbs. fresh lemon juice 2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil 2 Tbs. olive oil 1 Tbs. Dijon mustard 3 to 4 Tbs. snipped fresh chives Freshly ground pepper, to taste 6 green onions, including about 2 inches of the green portions, chopped 7 to 8 cups mixed baby salad greens 2 cups cherry tomatoes, red or mixed red and yellow, stems removed 1/4 lb. herbed goat cheese (chèvre), cut into 6 slices

Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil and brush with olive oil.

Snap off any tough ends from the asparagus spears and trim the break with a sharp knife. Using a vegetable peeler and starting just below the tip, peel the skin off each spear, down to the end. Arrange the spears in a single layer on the prepared pan, season with salt and pepper, and drizzle with the extra-virgin olive oil. Roast until tender, 12 to 14 minutes. Transfer to a plate and set aside.

To make the dressing, in a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, extravirgin olive oil, olive oil and mustard.

Stir in the chives and season with pepper.

Spoon about 2 Tbs. of the dressing over the asparagus and let stand while tossing the salad.

In a large bowl, gently toss together the green onions and the salad greens. Add the tomatoes. Drizzle just enough of the dressing onto the salad so the greens glisten and toss again. (You may not need to use all of the dressing.) Immediately mound the salad in the center of large individual salad plates. Place a slice of chèvre on top of each mound of greens and arrange asparagus spears around the perimeter of each plate, dividing them equally. Drizzle a few extra drops of the remaining dressing over the chèvre. Serve immediately.

Serves 6.

Michael Meade graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef at Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy.

Questions and comments are welcome at Michaelmeade1215@yahoo.com 33

HERE’S GUFFMAN by PATRICK WHITE

THE PLAYtheTHAT CHANGED MY LIFE amazing performances of my con- fer from this disorder. It made me ap-

I read a book awhile back put out by the American Theatre Wing called “The Play That Changed My Life” and it interviewed playwrights who are heroes of mine (Albee, Parks, Vogel..) and asked them the title’s question. I thought I would look around the Capital Region and play this parlor game with our own luminaries and ask them- What is the play that changed your life?

The play that changed my life would have to be “Angels in America.” I was sitting eating a bagel at SCCC, a friend of mine walked up and said “Hey I’m going to see a performance of ‘Angels in America: Part One’ at Union College, it’s free. Want to come?” I never heard of it and thought it might be cool. I was a broke college kid and since the show was free, I thought it might be a good idea to expose myself to something new. It was a staged reading. They performed it in a small black box theater with movement and some costume pieces. As I was watching the play I found myself in awe. This was the most simply staged piece of theater and the most powerful show I’ve ever seen. It completely changed how I looked at theater. Now running my own company I always think back on how simple that show was and how the simplicity drove the amazing acting.

When approaching a piece of theater as a director/producer I think back to that night in 1997 and think to myself “you have great actors, let them tell the story...the set, costumes and props are just secondary.”

-J.J. Buechner/Artistic Director Well, you drove me to the deepest recesses of my memory for this one. I won’t mention my starring role in “Peter Pan,” put on by my second grade class in the spring of 1953, though that production probably was EXACTLY what got me interested in theater: the hearty laughter from my parents; the nifty green costume my mother fashioned out of cut-off pants and dyed stockings; and the thrilling world of make-believe (no harness to help me soar, just a simple flapping of my arms).

No, I won’t mention this production.

But a little later, in the spring of 1963, I was part of a one-act play competition at the SUNY downtown campus.

My Albany High School drama teacher mounted Chekhov’s “The Marriage Proposal,” in which I played the father.

During the festival I saw another high school troupe do Tad Mosel’s “Impromptu,” a one-act in the style of Pirandello, and I was blown away by the sophistication of the play’s ideas and 34

temporaries. There was acting! There was a thought-provoking script! I’ve seen hundreds of plays since then, and I am always grateful when one of them grabs me by the throat and says, “Pay attention!” just the way that little play/ production did. -Paul Lamar/Critic

The most influential play I have ever seen was the 1994 original production of “In the Heart of America” by Naomi Wallace and directed by Pauline Tyer, both of whom were completing their respective MFAs at the University of Iowa. Pauline was my friend and mentor, and was urging me to come to Iowa for college. The play explores war, patriotism, homosexuality, love, heritage and the pursuit of truth in a poetic haze.

The production was raw, erotic and difficult. I had never seen theatre that was so authentic, that demanded so much from the audience. Any school that developed work like this, that nurtured such fearless artist, was where I wanted to be. Almost twenty years later, scenes from that production are still seared in my memory. Naomi’s haunting story remains present in my mind and I still seek answers to the questions the play raised. I have resisted the urge to direct the play, afraid that I couldn’t improve upon such perfection. It was a play that opened my mind to what is possible in the American theatre and how plays can change our lives.

-Chad Larabee/Director The first was “The Sound of Music”. I was 8 years old when I saw a performance in the final year of the original Broadway run. I can’t begin to say how many live shows I’ve seen since then; Broadway, regional, summer stock, community, and everything in between. The second was “Company”. I saw that in the second year of its original Broadway run. It was revolutionary for its time, not only musically, but visually, as well. The songs are still fresh! As an actor, it was to be my second show, and my first musical. (Over the years, I have since played David, Bobby, and Larry.) Let’s just say that seeds were firmly planted.

-Steven Leifer/Actor I played a woman suffering from bipolar disorder in “Next To Normal.” It was the greatest departure from myself that I’ve ever experienced in a role, and it definitely changed my life. When I began preparing, I found myself immersed in a world that I knew nothing about and I couldn’t possibly understand completely. I read every book I could find, I talked to people who suf-

preciate so much, and to this day I remind myself that we never know what someone else is going through, at times in total silence. It was pretty incredible to be a part of something that shone a light to the cast and audience, on a part of life that so many people suffer from every day. -Molly McGrath/Actor I have been acting since I was a little boy. I’ve been in over 150 plays in my native language and about 60 plays in English. I’ve directed a few plays and they’re usually plays that have meaning and educational; and most of them affect me somehow. I said all that to bring you to one particular play that I was in at the Ghent Playhouse: “The Boys Next Door.” I played a mentally challenge middle age man with a mind of a 5 year old. This play really changed my life in many ways. I did lot of research including watching and socializing and tried to really understand those who are really mentally challenge. It paid off. When I was actually on stage performing those scenes with actual mentally challenge individual in the audience, I felt home. And when I saw how they respond to me thinking I was one of them. It hit me really hard and I have been a different person since, especially every time I get to interact with one of them. I appreciate life better and I learned not to take what’s God gave me every day for granted. I stopped complaining when I have a migraine for it could be worse.

-Jean-Remy Monnay/Artistic Director As a teen, seeing “Fiddler on the Roof ” was the first realization that rich topics could be tackled in musical theater. I have come to love musicals like “Next to Normal,” “Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill” and the recent “Fun Home.”

With plays, again as a young adult and an older adult, I am always amazed at what is revealed of the human spirit in shows like “August Osage County,” “The River,” “Death of a Salesman” and “Glass Menagerie.” Can I pick one? No way. I am an easy touch. Maybe cause I am in a theater seat more nights than not.

-Phillip Morris/Producer There are really two. The first is “Macbeth.” My reading of “Macbeth” in high school really awakened me to the power of words in a play. The way so many lines in that play completely exploded in my ear was amazing. Additionally that play exposed me to exploring the psychological aspects of characters.

The impact on Lady Macbeth of her actions not only gave me insight into her as a character, but provided a les-

I remind myself that we never know what someone else is going through, at times in total silence. It was pretty incredible to be a part of something that shone a light to the cast and audience, on a part of life that so many people suffer from every day.-Molly McGrath/ Actor son for looking at the world around me. It opened my eyes to recognizing that other’s actions may be motivated by their own struggles (a big realization for a 15/16 year old.) The second was a London production of “Metamorphosis.” Having read the short story by Kafka, I couldn’t imagine how they would realistically bring the show to life. I shuddered at the thought of a Doctor Who like cockroach costume.

But through movement, a jungle gym set, and a sense of the absurd they created the world I had seen in my mind.

It was the most exciting thing I had seen on the London stage that year. It opened my imagination to what could be achieved upon the stage.

-Joe Starzyk/Playwright Strangely enough, because I’m not particularly a musical theatre actor, “Les Miserables” was the play that changed my life. As a young teen, I can remember listening with my brother to Colm Wilkinson, Patti LuPone and Michael Ball -- from the original London cast -and feeling the majesty of each of their contributions. The emotional plotline didn’t hurt, and allowed me to truly empathize with each character’s struggles.

Put simply, the show made me want to be onstage. It’s still a dream of mine to play Marius...-Tom Templeton/Actor

Chorus Rehearsal

Affiliate Events

The Albany Gay Men’s Chorus rehearses on Tuesday evenings from 6:45 to 9:00pm at the First Lutheran Church.

For more information: www.albanygmc.org, E-mail: albanygmc@yahoo.com, Voice-mail: (518) 459-7563 or join us on Facebook at: Albany Gay Men’s Chorus - AGMC.

Movie Night-Second Tuesday of each month We will begin at 5PM at Harvey’s Pub, 14 Phila Street Saratoga Springs,. From there, we can decide who wants to see what movies and leave accordingly for Bowtie Cinemas.

Lesbian Networking Breakfast We meet on the third Thursday of each month, at the Country Corner Café on Church Street in the upstairs dining room at 7:30 am. Latecomers are welcome.

Monthly GLBTQ Support Group Second Sunday of the Month Fallstaff Building, Skidmore College 3-4:30pm.

Contact Caroline with questions: 518.857.9361

QueerEngineer Get to know us & how you can support LGBTQ* students in science, technology, engineering, & mathematics. /QueerEngineer

@QueerEngineer

Patrick White is an actor, director and teacher who has been an adjunct instructor of acting at UAlbany, teaches acting privately and will be in Curtain Call Theatre’s October production of Conor McPherson’s “The Night Alive.”

A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate

35

SUNDAYS

EveryLGBTQ Alcoholics Anonymous Sun. in the Garden Level 7-8:30

WEEKLY EVENTS

† **

Game Night in the Rainbow Cafe

Sun.

3

6-9

pm

of themonth

rd

Sun.

Bisexual Potluck Brunch** in the Rainbow Cafe 11am- 1pm

of themonth

Last

Sun.

Every

Mon..of themonth

of themonth

1

st

Supper Sunday on the 1st Floor

5-9pm

MONDAYS Men’s Peer Support Group on the 1st Floor 7-8:30pm

TUESDAYS

Women’s Group on the 1st Floor

Weds.

of themonth

Weds.

Weds.

2

nd

(ages 18 & under) Saratoga Springs Library, Susman Room 49 Henry St, Saratoga Springs 4:30-6pm

Tues.

of themonth

Capital Region Support Group for Family & Friends of LGBTQ People**

First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendel Ave, Schenectady more info: Deborah Kenyon 7pm deborahkenyon2@gmail.com, 518-584-4774 (C), 518-695-4117 (H)

Trans* Pride Meet & Greet on the 1st Floor 7-9pm

Tues.

of themonth

4

th

Saratoga LGBTQA Youth Group

(ages 18 & under) Saratoga Springs Library Tues. 49 Henry St, Saratoga Springs

of themonth

4:30-6pm

Live from the Livingroom Poetry Open Mic** in the Garden Level

7pm

LGBTQ Book Club on the 1st Floor Women’s Group on the 1st Floor

of themonth

7pm

6-7pm social hour 7-8pm discussion

THURSDAYS Schenectady LGBTQA Youth Group (ages 18 & under)

Proctor’s Theater, Guild Room 432 State St., Schenectady

6-7:30pm

LGBTQ Narcotics Anonymous† ** in the Garden Level 7:30-8:30pm

FRIDAYS

Saratoga LGBTQA Youth Group

of themonth

6-7pm social hour 7-8pm discussion

of themonth

Trans* Pride Discussion Group on the 1st Floor 7-9pm

Tues.

3rd

2 rd 3 4th nd

WEDNESDAYS

Thurs.of themonth

2

nd

pm

Every

of the month

AYO! Youth Drop in Space

Every Friday of the month

(ages 18 & under) on 1st Floor & in the Garden Level

3-9pm

garden level only on 1st Fridays

Albany LGBTQA Youth Group (ages 18 & under)

in the Garden Level

7-8:30pm

Special Artist Reception and Opening in the Romaine Brooks Gallery check out the artists at www.capitalpridecenter.org/RBG

on the 1st Floor

5-9pm

Except where noted all events take place at

The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave Albany, NY 12210 The Garden Level can be accessed from the street through the door beneath the front steps

†

Anonymous meetings held at the Pride Center are non-affiliated, independent groups **indicates

36

an outside group that meets at the Pride Center

Friday August 7

Special Events

Opening Reception for Chris Holmes

Friday August 21-Sunday, August 23 Youth in Power : Pride Center Leadership Camp

Join us at the Romaine Brooks Gallery for a special 1st Fri- YOUTH IN POWER will provide a welcoming, supportive, day reception to celebrate the opening of Chris Holmes first solo show. Enjoy complimentary refreshments and commu- safe, and fun summer camp experience for young people who either identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, quesnity as you visit with the artist and his photographs.

Friday, August 7 Romaine Brooks Gallery The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave, Albany 5-9 pm Free!

Saturday, August 15 Center Families Playground Meet Up!

What better way to spend a summer day then among family?

Bring a blanket, some bubbles or your favorite games to play! There will be an epic game of freeze tag and lots of time to have fun and play together!

Washington Park, Albany (Look for us near children’s playground)!

Center Families is program of the Pride Center dedicated to empowering and celebrating LGBTQ headed families across the Capital Region.

Saturday, August 15 Near the Playground Washington Park, Albany 11:30 am - 1:30 pm FREE!

Monday, August 17 LGBTQA Professionals’ Networking Event

tioning, ace, (LGBTQA) or as allies. This weekend program is jam-packed with a variety of workshops, social activities, and projects that focus on empowerment through social justice.

Contact James Shultis, Youth Program Manager at jshultis@ capitalpridecenter.org or call (518) 462-6138 x15 to be added to the waiting list

Friday, August 21--Sunday, August 23 Friday and Saturday camp times: 9am-8pm Sunday: 9am-6pm Pick up & drop off is at the Pride Center at 8:15am each morning.

Albany County, Feura Bush, NY (To protect campers privacy and to create a safe space, location is only given out to registered campers/families/staff)

LOOKING AHEAD : Saturday, September 26 2015 AIDS Walk

The 2015 Capital Region AIDSWalk will bring together our community to celebrate the lives of friends, family, and our neighbors living with HIV/ AIDS. Please join us for a fun filled day with food, entertainment, and awards to support local organizations providing HIV/AIDS awareness, prevention education, counseling, and healthcare services for those living with this disease.

Proceeds benefit the men, women, and children living with HIV/AIDS served by the Pride Center and Capital Region AIDS organizations!

Saturday. September 26 Don’t Miss a special edition of the Region’s Fastest Washington Park, Albany Growing LGBTQA Monthly Event in conjunction with 11 am - Registration General Electric’s GLBTA Alliance!

12 am - Walk Come and meet up with friends , distribute your busi- Friday, October 16 2015 Pride Center Gala! ness cards, and make important business contacts.

Join us on a special night to benefit the Pride Center of the Capital Region and celebrate the important contributions of Monday, August 17, 2015 this year’s awardees who work hard to empower the lesbian, 6-8PM gay, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) Mexican Radio - Schenectady community 325 State St. Schenectady, 12305 $10 suggested donation (May be donated beforehand, for your convenience at www.capitalpridecenter.org/events/augustnetworking/)

Friday, October 16 Hilton Albany 6:30 pm List of Honorees and Info: www.capitalpridecenter.org/2015-pride-center-gala/ August’s event is brought to you by the Pride Center of the Tickets: Capital Region & General Electric’s GLBTA Alliance www.capitalpridecenter.org/gala-tickets

37

SPORTS/ FUN & GAMES Gay Skate Tuesdays: An open skate for the LGBTQ Community! $9.50 w. Skate Rental / $6.50 w. your own skates. For more info contact David at DB40@AOL.com or (518) 573-3962 7-9:30pm- Rollarama Skating Center, 2710 Hamburg St., Schenectady Thursdays: Geek and Gaymer Night 9pm- Rocks, 77 Central Ave, Albany (518) 4723588 KARAOKE

/hr ax, $8 gas, t e!

c s ude ran ni cl insu +

Get There with

Capital CarShare 518-545-4740 | capitalcarshare.org | Albany, NY

Mondays: Waterworks Pub - 10pm - 2am, No Cover.

(18+) 76 Central Ave, Albany, (518) 465-9079 Thursdays: Oh Bar - 10pm 1am, No Cover.

(21+) 304 Lark St., Albany, (518) 4639004 Fridays: Waterworks Pub - 10pm 18+ (w. cover)76 Central Ave, Albany, (518) 4659079 ROCKS- 9pm12am 77 Central Ave, Albany, (518) 472-3588 Saturdays: Circus Cafe - 10pm - 2am, (21+) 392 Broadway, Saratoga, (518) 583-1106

Center Square Pub -10pm - 2am, No Cover. 32 Dove St., Albany, (518) 729-2880

Individual High Holiday Tickets Available

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OPEN MIC / LITERARY Wednesday 8/ 12- Live from the Livingroom poetry open mic w. featured poet Thomas Dimopou-

Calendar

los.- The Pride Center, Garden Level 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, (518) 462-6138 Thursday 8/06 & 8/20: Open Minded Mic & Talent Showcase (for all performers)- sign up 8:30pm start 9:00pm Rocks, 77 Central Ave., Albany (518) 472-3588

SOCIAL / SUPPORT GROUPS

Out of the Closet I Am (for women who have sex with women): 1st & 3rd Wednesdays- 6:30pm-8pm Men’s Empowerment Group: 1st & 3rd Thursdays -6-7:30pm Voices of Unity (for Transgender people of color): 2nd & 4th Wednesday of each month from 6pm-7:30pm Groups listed above meet at In Our Own Voices, 245 Lark St., Albany (518) 432-4188 YouthPride! A student led meeting that centers around helping LGBTQ students and allied students discuss matters in our community, schools, and in their Gay Straight Alliances (GSAs) that they have in their schools. YouthPride provides leadership development and an opportunity to help plan activities around GLSEN’s Days of Action and Days of Support. 1st Friday of the month 6-9pm- Professor Java’s Coffee Sanctuary, 217 Wolf Rd., Colonie Trans Partners Group: provides support for people to discuss and explore their relationships with trans-identified or gender non-conforming individuals.

Open to people currently in partnerships with trans-people or people exploring their gender identities. Monthly on Tuesdays at 5pm. Contact Faith Hoffman at faith@choicesconsulting.com for more information. Choices Counseling and Consulting, 523 Western Ave. Suite 2A Albany, NY 12203-1617, (518)438-2222

TRIVIA

Tuesdays: Live Trivia with Frieda ROCKS - 8-10pm 77 Central Ave, Albany, (518) 472-3588 Wednesdays: Oh Bar - 9pm-12am 304 Lark St., Albany, (518) 463-9004

SPECIAL EVENTS

Pride Day at the Great New York State Fair- beginning with the raising of the Rainbow Flag at the Main Gate and followed by a day-long information fair.

Pride Day will also feature a ceremony that includes speakers from the LGBT community and a prominent presence in the Fair’s daily parade. . The day will conclude with a free Chevy Court concert at 8 p.m. from Melissa Etheridge. Friday.

August 28- NYS Fairgrounds, Syracuse, NY. More info at: www.nysfair.org

NON-PROFIT US POSTAGE

P AID PERMIT #798 ALBANY, NY

332 Hudson Avenue Albany, NY 12210

Distinguished Living...Successful Living...Gay Living Tri City Rentals is a Proud Supporter of the LGBT Community

Visit one of our 24 Fine Capital District Apartment Communities

www.TriCityRentals.com

518.862.6600