CommUNITY Magazine (vol 2 iss 10) HIV /AIDS plus LGBTQ Families

2015 CELEBRATION EVENTS

The State Room Honorary Co-Chairs: John Daniels & Kate Otis

Saturday, June 13 Washington Park, Albany Honorary Co-Chairs: Matt Baumgartner & Tess Collins

Hilton Albany Honorary Co-Chairs: Mark & Patty Breslin with Courtney & Amy Breslin 3

4

December 2014 January 2015 Volume 2, Issue 10 CONTENTS FEATURES

The Pride Center Gala Remembered in Photographs by Jay Zhang pg. 17

A Call To All Providers: We Aren’t There Yet.... by Sarah Henry pg. 21

PrEP and The End of AIDS by Terrence Meehan pg. 24 Families Centered in the Support of a Village

We may cringe at the often overused adage that it takes a village to raise a child, but the LGBTQ parenting community knows how true it is. by

Marielle McKasty-Stagg pg. 33

World AIDS Day pg. 25

LGBT Parenting: A Reflection by Arlene Lev pg. 34

NEWS, UPDATES AND INFORMATION

Welcome Interns Janet Farrakhan, Matthew Cooper & Sarah Mulhall pg. 10 Quick Clips pg. 11 At What Cost - an open letter to the Pride Center of the Capital Region pg. 12 Open Enrollment Connect + Services to the Community pg. 12 Advertisers Index pg. 36 The Weekly Events Calendar pg. 41 Pride Center Affiliates Events Calendar pg. 45

Get the latest information throughout the month at www.capitalpridecenter.org

CommUNITY & Special Event Calendars pgs. 41-45

COLUMNS

Ask the Lawyer by Geri Pomerantz pg. 13 Trans View Where Do We Go From Here by Moonhawk Riverstone pg. 14 To Be a Blessing Transgender Church Leader Offers Education and Conversation by Terry Diggory pg. 19 Vintage Pride: Who We Are! The Many Aspects of Joe: Reminiscing Joe Norton by Chuck Zimmerman pg. 22 Ask Mark Your Tax Questions by Mark D. Witecki pg. 27 Money Matters Our Changing Families by Thomas Walling pg. 30 Gay Man’s Musings Family, A Colorful Concept by Nyvek Moshier pg. 31 Michael Cooks and You Can Too Happy New Year! by Michael Meade pg. 37 Here’s Guffman An Interview with JJ Buechner by Patrick White pg. 38 The Fashionable and the Frivolous My First Brush With Accessorizing by Alan Bennet Ilagan pg. 39

Director’s Note by Curran Streett | From the Editor’s Desk by Michael Weidrich pg. 6

5

DIRECTOR’S NOTE

We need YOU now, as much as ever! As we reflect on our history, one of the most incredible accomplishments is what our supporters have made possible. Our founders, 45 years ago centered our community by opening the

by

C u rran Street t

doors of the Pride Center.

Knowing there was strength in numbers, and that resources and support comes in many forms, they drew on everyone to pitch in and make our community center a beacon of hope, and a lifeline where none had previously existed.

For over 20 years, the community kept this going, believing in the need and value offered. Today, we continue this tradition of community support sustaining our work.

So thank you, for all you have offered to ensure our community’s lifeline, center and future.

Because you gave, our youth

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK

by

that has been accomplished this year.

2014 was one hell of a year. In October, we celebrated the biggest and most successful Pride Center Gala ever. In June, we held the biggest Capital PRIDE Festival ever. In February we kicked off the year with a brand new annual event, the Gay Soiree. Our staff had grown to the largest number in the organizations history. We have seen record numbers of participants in all our programs, especially our Youth Groups, Vintage Pride and our Business Alliance networking events. It’s kind of amazing when you sit back and look at everything

The reality is that it literally took a village to do all these amazing things. From our Board of Directors, to our committee members, to all of our volunteers, to the community members that use our services, to the people of the Capital Region that attend our events.

Without these key ingredients, we would not be as successful as we have been. I know the staff of the Pride Center tries to show their appreciation and gratitude to the community as much as possible. Everything we do is very much a labor of love.

A prime example of the “it takes a village…” model is the very publication you’re reading right now. The other day, the staff was charting out the themes and ideas for our 2015 issues. I just finished reviewing

have a safe, fun and affirming place to go. Because you gave, adults in need of support have access to case management, counseling and support groups. Because you gave, our older adults have more opportunities for meaningful connection and support.

Over 10,000 people in our community are living better lives because of you.

Join us in this strong tradition of giving in 2015 as we celebrate our 45th anniversary as our community’s center! We will be kicking off this exciting year on February 5th, and hope to see you there!

Mic hael W eid r ic h the dozens of articles written by so many esteemed community members. The book is chock full of ads from local businesses that believe in this publication and support the Center. It literally is a village of content in 40 pages (48 for this bumper month). But like so many threads in a tapestry, we weave them together into this gorgeous, collaborative, living piece of work. It has never been so apparent to me that this book is so aptly namedCommUNITY. Looking forward, we are ardently preparing for the Pride Center’s 45th anniversary in 2015. I feel like we just celebrated our 40th, when we ushered in the Pride Center’s new name. But with a whole slate of amazing events, some incredible co-chairs and committees, and most fantastic “village” to support us; we’re ready for the BEST YEAR EVER!

Read CommUNITY in full color anywhere online! www.capitalpridecenter.org/community/ 6

FRIEDA and CARMIE’S HOLIDAY CABARET FOR KIDS

Saturday December 13th | 2-4pm | Location: TBA | Free!

Spend an afternoon with your favorite family Drag Queens, Freida Munchon and Carmie Hope! Join us as we sing some of your favorite holiday tunes and get you and the family ready for the season! This is a holiday inclusive event that you want to miss! All ages welcome.

7

These Presbyterian Churches Welcome You Where you can find a place ~ come as you are!

Albany First Presbyterian 362 State Street (at Willett) www.firstpresalbany.org Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:45 am

Hudson Falls First Presbyterian Church 5 River Street www.fpchudsonfalls.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Stephentown Stephentown Federated Church 1513 Garfield Road StephentownFederatedChurch.org Sunday Worship 9:30 am

Albany Westminster Presbyterian 262 State Street / 85 Chestnut Street www.WPCalbany.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Putnam Station Putnam United Presbyterian Church 365 County Route 2 518-547-8378 Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Stillwater Stillwater United Church 747 Hudson Avenue StillwaterUnitedChurch.org Sunday Worship 9:00 & 10:30 am

Amsterdam United Presbyterian Church 25 Church Street www.upchurch25.org Sunday Worship 9:30 am

Rensselaerville Rensselaerville Presbyterian Church Main Street at Methodist Hill Road rvillepres.org Sunday Worship 11:00 am (Summer Only)

Troy (Lansingburgh) Cornerstone Community Church 570 3rd Avenue www.cornerstoneccl.org Sunday Worship 10:30 am

Colonie Roessleville Presbyterian Church Elmhurst and Central Avenue 518-459-2816 Sunday Worship 9:30 am

Saratoga Springs Presbyterian-New England Congregational 24 Circular Street www.pnecchurch.org Sunday Worship 10:45 am

Troy First United 1915 Fifth Avenue (downtown) www.UnitedPresTroy.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Delmar Delmar Presbyterian Church 585 Delaware Avenue www.delmarpres.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Schenectady Union Presbyterian Church 8 North Church Street www.UnionPres.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Valatie First Presbyterian Church 3212 Church Street 518-758-9658 Sunday Worship 11:00 am

Guilderland Hamilton Union Presbyterian Church 2291 Western Avenue

Scotia-Glenville Trinity Presbyterian Church 185 Swaggertown Rd. HamiltonUnionPresbyterianChurch.org www.ScotiaTrinity.org Sunday Worship 8:30 am & 10:00 am Sunday Worship 10:00 am

Hudson First Presbyterian Church 369 Warren Street FirstPresHudson.org Sunday Worship 10:45 am

Spencertown St. Peter’s Presbyterian Church 5219 County Route 7 SaintPetersPC.org Sunday Worship 10:00 am

West Charlton West Charlton United Presbyterian 1331 Sacandaga Road www.westcharltonUPC.org Sunday Worship 10:30 am

More information at www.presrainbow.org

Share your

commitment

e ad for September 2014 CommUnity

ail of 4/10/2014 to Steven Minchin, please n color.

For any questions regarding this ad, please contact Judy Moyer (518) 283-7663 or Moyer.Judith@gmail.com.

Presbyterian Rainbow contract (modified 4/10/2014)

We are all God’s

Let us help you create the perfect wedding rings to show the world special commitment! children ~ your Come as you

are!

JOIN US ON

8

1675 Western Ave | Albany, NY 12203 | 518.464.9636 | www.druesanders.com

9

MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK INTERN SARAH MULHALL!

Show Your Pride Online

Sarah is very excited to begin her work experience as an MSW clinical Intern at the Pride Center in Albany. As an MSW clinical Intern, she will be seeing individuals, couples and families for low cost psychotherapy under the clinical supervision of Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW-R. She will also assist with the Pride Center’s youth program and programmatic tasks.

Sarah says that the Pride Center has special meaning for her, as it was one of the first resources she was directed towards when she was coming out over a decade ago.

Growing up in a small town, there was little support for the LGBTQ* community as Sarah was beginning to identify as a lesbian. It was a few years after she graduated from high school that she was an advocate and support for a young girl at her alma mater that was beginning to establish the very first GLSEN - Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network chapter.

There was a shocking push-back from the community and Sarah was able to attend the board meetings at the school to assist in the group’s formation. Proudly, today there are resources in her small town that were not available for her generation because of the young girl that decided to take a stand. She inspired Sarah to take action in a way she had never thought to prior to that. It was in this instance that she understood the importance of living her own truth and helping to support others to live in their truth in whatever way she can.

Sarah received her undergraduate degree in Sociology and Criminal Justice from the University at Albany in 2013 and was then accepted to the MSW program at the University at Albany in 2013. She graduated from the Center for Natural Wellness School of Massage Therapy in 2003 and has been practicing massage therapy for 11 years. Sarah’s interest in massage therapy and her interest in social work is interrelated, as they have both come from the desire to help people. She has worked

10

in a variety of spas in Albany, Chicago and Rochester as a massage therapist. In Chicago and Rochester, Sarah worked as the Director of Admissions, where she was responsible for recruitment, interviews and admissions. She was also responsible for implementing community outreach programs. Her passion for massage therapy contributed to her success in enrolling students to these programs.

Outside of work, Sarah enjoys hiking with her dogs in the woods, writing poetry and exploring new cookbooks and cooking shows. She is extremely passionate about animals, especially bears, and preserving their natural habitat.

MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK INTERN MATTHEW COOPER! Matthew began his experience working with the Pride Center in September as a graduate-level social work intern from SUNY Albany, working within the Center Support program for the 201415 academic year. Prior to his secondary education, he became active in his high school’s GSA, including participating in the Day of Silence and attending the Alt Prom sponsored by the Pride Center. As a gay man, Matthew would say this was when he first started to become aware of the issues our communities face and that this is what started him down his current educational path. In Spring 2013, Matthew completed his BA with a dual major in Psychology and Women’s Studies from SUNY Albany. During his studies in Psychology and Women’s Studies at the University, Matthew became interested in understanding how issues of social justice impacted individuals both psychologically and socially. Specifically, he found himself drawn to examining how queer identities were navigated in relation to (dis)ability statuses. His honor’s thesis focused on the sensitivity of social service providers to the issues raised in working with LGBTQ* community members who have experienced intimate partner violence.

During his last semester as an undergraduate, he was blessed to co-facilitate

QUICK CLIPS

INTRODUCING THREE NEW MEMBERS OF THE TEAM SARAH, MATTHEW AND JANET a section of his Women’s Studies 101 course, Introduction to Feminisms. Introductions to Feminisms is a class that surveys various forms of oppressions in society, how they interlock, and how we can come together to re-envision better futures for our communities. As an educator, Matthew was truly fortunate to witness the success of his students and to see them flourish as individuals. In the end, he states that he learned more from them than they probably realize and he is incredibly grateful for having that chance to grow with them.

Based on his interest in these topics, Matthew decided to enroll in SUNY Albany’s MSW program. Now, he currently see individuals, couples and families for low cost psychotherapy under the clinical supervision of Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW-R, CASAC. In addition to clinical services, Matthew also help co-facilitate the Pride Center’s weekly THRIVE group sessions that promote the mental health and wellness for LGBTQIA young adults aged 18 to 24.

Outside of these professional roles, Matthew is an avid reader (He’s currently reading A Storm of Swords from the A Song of Ice and Fire series), dog lover, Doctor Who/Torchwood fan, self-identified feminist/queer theorist, and writer.

Matthew attributes much of his success to the strong women in his life and is incredibly thankful for their support and encouragement. Matthew feels that he wouldn’t be who he is today without them.

Matthew’s career goals include holding a position in social welfare or sociological research that is designed to advance various forms of social justice, to continue providing clinical services, and to obtain his LCSW-R. He sincerely believes that his internship experience with the Pride Center’s Center Support Program will help him accomplish his goals of promoting social justice and making this world a better place for us all.

BACHELOR OF SOCIAL WORK INTERN JANET FARRAKHAN

Janet, a current student, was born and One of the gorgeous raised in New York City. Three years ago arrangements created for the she decided to move out of New York 2014 Pride Center Gala by City to receive an education. She is cur- Experience and Creative Design. rently a senior in the BSW program at the (see more from the Gala on pgs. 16-17) School of Social Welfare of Albany, and she also is a Pre K Director for the YMCA after school program. She enjoys when children walk into her classroom delighted and eager to explain what they have learned; for instance, they tell her what letters they learned in school or what number they could count to. She is honored to be working with the Pride Cen(find out about the end of AIDS on pg. 24) ter of the Capital Region of Albany, as a BSW intern, working within the Center Support Program. She works side by side with the LBGTQ Health Specialist and helps clients for case management. She will contribute to the youth program and their programmatic tasks, as well. She is thrilled to continue learning and helping the community that she holds so dearly to her heart.

Her passion is to help those in need who she can become a service to. Over the The 1st World AIDS Day was summer of 2014, she had the privilege to intern as a student social worker at a in 1988 & marked the first ever company called Good Shepherd Services, global health day. which is a foster care agency in New York (see what’s going on with World AIDS Day 2014 on pg. 25) City. She worked side by side with the Department of Home Finding for the LBGTQ teens; as a result, she was inspired by the individuals there who were able to stand up and speak how they felt and profess what their needs were. Her goal is to help others receive the services that they deserve.

She is a co-founder of a group on campus called Bridging the Gap where they do community service. They also educate We found possibly the cutest others on different topics such as poverty, homemade puppet we’ve seen mental issues, and health insurance; they are committed to finding resources to at Center Families Story Time (more on Center Families on pg. 33 ) meet individual’s needs. In her free time, she enjoys visiting New York City. When she has a great amount of free time, she enjoys traveling to different countries to help those who are in need. She also loves dancing, cooking and reading. (find the perfect bubbly to ring in 2015 on pg. 37)

11

OPEN ENROLLMENT

CONNECT + SERVICES TO THE COMMUNITY

We here in the Pride Center’s Healthcare Enrollment Program, have been working to educate the LGBTQ community about their healthcare coverage options. We’ve been fielding all types of correspondences from friends, colleagues, advocates and neighbors asking about Open Enrollment.

HERE ARE SOME NEW YORK STATE OF HEALTH UPDATES: November 15th was the first day of Open Enrollment for the New York State of Health Marketplace. This was the first time since early in 2014 that qualifying individuals and families could apply for Private Health Insurance plans (for those of you who did not have a Qualifying Life Event).

February 15th will be the last day qualifying individuals and families will be able to apply for Private Health Insurance through the Marketplace (without a Qualifying Life Event) until the next Open Enrollment Period. That means that if you miss this Open Enrollment you will not be able to apply for coverage that begins earlier than January of 2016!

WE ARE NOT ONLY WORKING TO INSURE THE UN-INSURED. The under-insured can equally benefit from the wide variety of plan options offered through the New York Sate of Health Marketplace. If you are paying too much for an employer offered plan or the plan you have through your job isn’t quality – you may be eligible for more affordable and comprehensive coverage.

If you are looking for insurance to supplement your current coverage and you are under 65 years of age, we may be able to assist you in acquiring an additional plan.

WE’VE BEEN WORKING TO BUILD A STRONG REFERRAL NETWORK - linking integral community supportive services to our program. This will make learning about and accessing the programs that keep us up-to-date and healthy, easier.

Whether it be linking free cancer screenings to the uninsured, or assisting clients connect with programs like HIAP(Health Insurance Access Program) - We’ve got you covered!

12

AT WHAT COST?

An open letter to the Pride Center of the Capital Region

In the days that follow the November 4, 2014 election the LGBT community and its allies should take an opportunity to reflect on the outcomes of our action or inaction. In the Capital Region alone with respect to the New York State Senate, the chamber that ultimately was the swing vote for marriage equality in New York, our community has suffered great losses.

Kathy Marchione, the Senator representing the north-eastern side of the Capital Region up through Saratoga County and including Saratoga Springs won re-election with over sixty percent of the vote. She initially won the seat based on her opposition to marriage equality. In fact she defeated one of the three republican senators, (Roy McDonald) in a primary, who broke with his party and voted in favor of marriage equality in 2011. She then went on to defeat a democratic opponent who also happened to be an out married lesbian.

On the north-western ring of the Capital Region, Senator Hugh Farley cruised to victory soundly defeating an advocate for the LGBT community. Senator Farley, a 38 year incumbent, voted against marriage equality and SONDA which extended basic human right protections to gays, lesbians and bisexuals when it passed in a republican controlled senate back in 2002. He is openly opposed to GENDA which would do the same for the transgender community.

Along the south-western ring of the Capital Region, sitting Senator Cecilia Tkaczyk, an advocate for the LGBT community, was also soundly defeated by George Amedore who voted against marriage equality when he was in the New York State Assembly.

These election night defeats leave us with one LGBT advocate representing the Capital Region in the New York State Senate. Neil Breslin, a senior Senator who serves the greater Albany metro area and is a regular attendee of Capital Pride and other LGBT related events.

The Capital Region net loss in the New York State Senate is three seats which could have been held by individuals who stood in solidarity with the LGBT community. In their place we have three senators who have openly opposed and/or voted against LGBT equality.

In the balance is GENDA, the bill that would extend basic human right protections to the transgender community. Is it possible that a republican held Senate at the direction of Governor Cuomo will ultimately pass GENDA in the next year or two… maybe?

While we seemingly wait and see, there is a larger more disconcerting reality we must contend with, a populace surrounding the Capital Region that voted for candidates who have stood in opposition to LGBT equality. In addition to the populace there is the print media including the Times Union which endorsed Senator Farley for reelection despite his anti-LGBT equality positions.

As a community at what point do we begin to hold the greater populace and print media accountable for perpetuating LGBT inequality? It seems after the passage of marriage equality in New York and the flood of recent court rulings which have expanded marriage equality across this country our community has disbanded from our activism. Let us not misinterpret these victories as a permission slip to sit on the sidelines. The greater populace remains ignorant and/or opposed to our fight for equality and it is our job to shift the tide. No one is going to do it for us.

Regards, Chad Putman

We want to hear from our community!

Letters to the editor may be sent to Michael Weidrich at mweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org Letters must be 100 words or less and include name, phone, and email.

ASK T H E L A WY ER

by

Ge r i Pomeran tz

I write this column in the aftermath of the 2014 Mid-term elections. Fresh in my mind is the continued war on the poor, middle class, disenfranchised, women, people of color, and the environment, and concerns over the impact of the election on the rights of LGBT people.

There is, however, a sliver of a silver lining, found in the local judicial races.

in this judicial district. To paraphrase from the report, Women in Federal and State-Level Judgeships, I hope that Ms. Fisher’s experience as a woman in a male dominated profession will inform her interpretation and shape the lens with which she makes decisions as a judge, especially in cases where women’s experiences are central.

Albany County voters re-elected Judge Margaret “Peggy” Walsh to Family Court, in an uncontested race. Judge Walsh, an experienced judge who is openly lesbian, was the elected official who received the most votes county wide in Albany County, with almost 60,500 votes.

By comparison, the next highest vote getter, Comptroller DiNapoli, received about 56,000, votes.

In the other county wide judicial race for surrogate court, there were about 66,000 total votes cast, with the democrat in that race receiving about 52,500 votes.

To put things in further perspective, the democrat who lost the race for Supreme Court received only 40,493 votes. Judge Walsh’s overwhelming popularity amongst the voters in 2014 is hopeful.

Consider her first race in 2004, when her unsuccessful opponent ran on the homophobic slogan “family man for family court”.

In the aftermath of the 2014 Mid-term elections there is a sliver of a silver lining ...found in the local judicial races.

Another out lesbian, Attorney Jill Polk, won a three way race for Family Court Judge in Schenectady County. Ms. Polk ran on the campaign slogan, “putting families first”. Her website notes “We’ve redefined what it means to be a family.

Today, it’s not just mom and dad and the kids. It could be grandma, grandpa, mom or dad and the kids, or two moms or two dads and the kids. We need to respect all families and help them manage the legal process so that the children thrive.”

The biggest upset in a local 2014 election was the victory of underdog Republican Attorney Lisa Fisher over Democrat Justin Corcoran, for the open Supreme Court seat in the third judicial district.

This judicial district covers all of Albany, Rensselaer, Columbia, Green, Ulster, Sullivan and Schoharie counties.

When she takes her seat on the bench in January, Judge Fisher will be the only woman trial court judge in the district. I have been quite critical, in this column and elsewhere, of the lack of diversity

After Judge Peggy Walsh was passed over for the Supreme Court seat by the Albany County Democratic Party Chairman, a slate of delegates who supported Judge Walsh ran a primary in Albany County.

The major political parties select their Supreme Court candidates at district wide judicial conventions in September by a vote of delegates, who are elected in the primary. The party establishment’s unsuccessful efforts in court, including appeals, to invalidate the Walsh delegate’s petitions, were deemed an “unreasonable and unjustified restraint upon the right of primary voters”. The Walsh Delegates then won the Albany County democratic primary by 54%.

Although the majority of Albany County delegates supported Judge Walsh, and her judicial experience notwithstanding, the party bosses made a deal to nominate yet another straight white man with no judicial experience.

Given the overwhelming democratic enrollment advantage district wide, Ms. Fisher’s election to Supreme Court is history making. Ms. Fisher could not have succeeded in the Supreme Court race without the votes of democrats committed to diversity.

Consider the data. In 2013, now Judge Richard McNally won the Supreme Court race over a Republican woman; he won Albany County by over 19,000 votes. In 2011, Judge Breslin won Albany County by more than 20,000 votes over his Republican challenger, a popular sitting female family court judge in Rensselaer. This year, the losing democrat received only about 5,500 more votes than Ms. Fisher in Albany County, notwithstanding the overwhelming

democratic enrollment advantage in the county. Lisa Fisher received 46.31% of the vote in Albany. In the comptroller’s race, with a popular democrat, the republican challenger received only 27.85% of the vote in Albany County.

Moreover, in her Family Court race this year, Judge Walsh received about 20,000 more votes county wide than the losing democrat in the Supreme Court race.

In Rensselaer County, Ms. Fisher won with 58.36% of the county wide vote; compare to Mr. Astorino, who also won the governor’s race in this county, with only 53.68%.

Ms. Fisher clearly courted the votes of women, the LGBT community, and progressive democrats in the Supreme Court race. Many of us were offended by the Democratic Party leaders’ refusal to nominate Judge Peggy Walsh for this seat, the lack of diversity on the bench, and the manner in which the party nominee was selected. Ms. Fisher’s success in this election demonstrates the impact of the efforts of the Walsh delegates and voters, committed to diversity on the bench and a more democratic process.

The manner in which Supreme Court judges are elected in our state has given unfettered control to party bosses, and has resulted in the critical lack of judicial diversity in our district. Perhaps, with the upset election of Lisa Fisher, this too will change.

The legal rights of LGBTQ families are an ever-changing landscape, to be addressed monthly in this column. The material in this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to give legal advice, and should not substitute for the independent advice of counsel. The views expressed in this column are solely those of Ms. Pomerantz and do not reflect the opinion of the Pride Center.

Geri Pomerantz is an attorney in the capital district with a practice focused on family and matrimonial law, specifically including LGBTQ issues. Geri conducts continuing legal education training for other lawyers on issues of importance to the LGBTQ community. Amongst other things, Geri is a member of the Collaborative Divorce Association of the Capital District.

Geri can be reached at pomerantzlaw@albany.twcbc.com

13

TR A NS * VIE W

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE ? by

Elsewhere in this issue is an open letter to the LGBTQ Community from Chad Putman, a gay man, activist, campaigner for progressive candidates, former member of Schenectady Human Rights Commission and colleague. In it he implores us to wake up and smell the garbage, and to do something about it besides close our eyes and noses and let it rot for another 2 years. It is his response to the 2014 election and I happen to agree with him.

I have been given a few days grace by the Pride Center to turn this column in a bit late in order to comment on the recent election cycle. But Chad beat me to it! Much of what he says, I might have said in my own words, and I will let his stand, and add to the conversation, knowing this is a tough topic to place in the CommUNITY newsletter. I give you all a reminder that the perspective here is my own and does not reflect that of The Pride Center in any way, and that I’ve taken a rare step to be more personal in my text.

A year or so before my father died, I was visiting him post another election cycle and he was again bemoaning the fact that his benefits had been cut, yet again, and that his access to physical therapy and other essential care was almost non existent. I said to him, “Well, part of the problem is you keep voting for the people who cut your benefits, and I don’t.” It stunned him. “What do you mean?” he said, my father was one of the most right wing Republicans you could imagine; he had also, over a decade earlier, suffered a crippling stroke that left the entire left side of his body permanently paralyzed. I said, “The people you put in office and idolize don’t care one iota about you and whether you live or die. All they want is a smaller government that leaves people like you out in the cold. I vote for people who think disabled people should live with dignity and have health care and access to treatment. So at least our votes zero each other out,” I said.

“You’ve got time--look it up and see

14

Moonhawk RiverStone

who votes which way.” I finished. That was all we said to each other, but I like to think I got to him. My father illustrates one thing I think about a lot. That is when a political party is so successful at getting people to act against their own best interests, then we are in trouble, and we’ve been in trouble for 30-40 years now.

The problem is not how we, the LGBTQ Community vote these folks out of office, but how we engage our allies to rise up and to reengage

When I was a child growing up the two main political parties had both had liberal, moderate and conservative members. But somewhere along the way, in the Republican party folks who were not conservative but right wing began to take over, and today still call the tune. The parties have no flexibility, only rigid, entrenched positions. I have been a member of the U.S. Holocaust Museum since its inception. When I opened the Fall 2014 newsletter this morning, I read this

by Sarah Bloomfield, Director of the Museum: “Much of the turmoil in the world today resonates so deeply precisely because of the lessons of the Holocaust-lessons about group-targeted hate, the durability and danger of antisemitism, the power of ideological extremism, and the threat of genocide. The topics in this issue...are reminders of how much the past can help us understand the present and make more informed decisions about the future.

History matters.”

This is precisely what we are turning our backs on now in America. Many have learned that it’s not OK to openly target LGBTQ people, but many have

not. Sen. Marchione ran her previous campaign on hate--hate of LGBT people and same-sex marriage. We did really nothing to make her constituents aware that every vote for her was a vote complicit in that hate, a participation in targeted-group hate.

That’s just one example. There are many others. In the previous campaign in 2012, Sen. Farley was seen on tape in an incredibly transphobic diatribe. What happened? Nothing.

He was reelected, twice. As the Holocaust teaches us, as the Southern Poverty Law Center teaches us, it is not a far step from group-targeted hate, to ideological extremism to fascism. The slope seems to be getting steeper and slipperier every election.

The problem is not how we, the LGBTQ Community vote these folks out of office, but how we engage our allies, and those invisible to us who are not yet allies to rise up and to reengage in a moral and ethical conversation about the promise of America. To value doing what is right over doing what makes the 1% richer. That while we were founded on high ideals of freedom and civil rights for all, in many ways we continue to fail miserably at doing so. The 1% get one percentier, the 99% get ever more desperate about how to live freely in a society that is committed to not lifting them up. The Occupy Movement was a brilliant canary in the coal mine of what we need to do to wake up to become an economic and socially just country. Its death heralded for us the call to wake up, and, sadly, we didn’t. How can anyone view the photographs and listen to the stories of the night of November 15, 2011 when Occupy Wall Street was demolished and not think, fascism? Occupy was that threatening to the 1% and we didn’t listen, instead that movement is now a vague memory.

Our political leaders need to be standing up and insisting on reform, working toward an equitable and just society for all, working toward true compromise that benefits everyone, not continuing to dig trenches deeper and deeper in political ideology that

Our political leaders need to be standing up and insisting on reform, working toward an equitable and just society for all, working toward true compromise that benefits everyone, not continuing to dig trenches deeper and deeper in political ideology only sends poison gas over the chasm of difference. Those in the middle are not doing well at all.

I would support Chad in asking our community--how do we engage folks to change hearts and minds of not only of the broad community members but of our elected officials or find a way to turn them out because hate is no longer a stance we value, no longer a stance we can afford to build our democracy upon, but the antithesis.

With Transgender Day Remembrance almost upon us as I write this, ask any transperson, whether or not it feels like genocide out there when the names of those murdered in hate crimes are read out loud. It does, it is.

There are still so many places where changing our birth certificates requires sterilization; there are still so many of us who choose suicide to a hostile and uninhabitable world.

Genocide. Think about those votes we need in the New York State Senate for GENDA. Think about how you might go about finding them. Our lives, trans lives, depend on it, but yours do too. We’re all in this together, after all-99% ‘s a big number, but it’s ZERO if we don’t speak up, act up. Until next time...T.

TRANS VIEW© #129

Rev. Moonhawk River Stone of Riverstone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years with experience and extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and health.

15

It was an evening to remember as the LGBTQ and Allied community of the Capital Region gathered to celebrate the accomplishments of some outstanding individuals and businesses that have made a meaningful impact on the Pride Center and the Capital Region. With over 550 in attendance, this was the largest Pride Center Gala ever, packing the gorgeous Hilton Albany in the heart of downtown Albany. With the generous support of our fabulous sponsors, our esteemed Honorary Committee, the great auction package winners and the amazing people who made a pledge to support the Pride Center, we were able to bring in over $90,000 to help support our ongoing programs and daily operations. The evening ended on a high note with a teaser preview of next year 2015, when the Pride Center of the Capital Region celebrates its 45th anniversary!

16

Photographs by Jay Zhang

17

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Sholom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithsholom.org(518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)4369761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St. George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org

18

Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161 First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449 First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580 First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Methodist Church, East Greenbush http://www.fumceg.org/ First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville. org (518)458-1562 Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861 Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Presbyterian New England Congregational Church, Saratoga http://pnecchurch.org/ Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)584-3720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open!

Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous!

TO BE A BLESSING

by

Terry Diggory

Transgender Church Leader Offers Education and Conversation This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith. The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community

Alex McNeill, the first openly transgender person to head a mainline Protestant organization, visited the Capital Region during the weekend of October 18-19 as the guest of the First United Presbyterian Church of Troy and Presbyterian Rainbow, a regional group advocating for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) persons in church and society. That mission is shared by More Light Presbyterians, the national advocacy group that Alex serves as Executive Director.

Education and conversation were the dual keynotes of Alex’s visit. You can’t have one without the other. In two workshops on “Exploring Transgender Identities,” at Troy First United and at the Presbyterian--New England Congregational Church in Saratoga Springs, Alex opened by telling his own story.

Though he was identified as female from birth, something about that identity never felt right. And that feeling began to interfere in the spiritual path that Alex pursued as a child raised in the Presbyterian Church and later in studies for the ministry at Harvard Divinity School, where he earned the Master’s of Divinity degree. Assuming a female identity seemed to impose a veil between Alex and God; eventually Alex decided he needed to identify as male in order to stay in touch with God as well as with himself.

To inform the conversation that made up the core of his workshops in Saratoga and Troy, Alex offered a way of thinking about gender identity as a continuum rather than a simple maleor-female polarity, and as a dynamic relationship that involves not only the gender of persons you find attractive, but also the gender with which you identify yourself. Within the context of this understanding, workshop participants entered into discussion about how to create a community of welcome for, and in partnership with, transgender persons. Welcoming everyone

one-on-one as a person, without the interference of gender codes, seemed a good place to start, though workshop participants honestly acknowledged the discomfort produced by the tug of gender assumptions embedded deep in the unconscious. To free ourselves we need each other and the kind of courage that Alex has found in his faith.

Welcoming everyone one-on-one as a person, without the interference of gender codes, seemed a good place to start Alex’s visit comes at a time when many of the issues he helped us address have reached a decisive point. This was most dramatically demonstrated in a meeting with Alex and students at Russell Sage College, arranged by the Protestant Chaplain, Rev. Beth Illingworth, a Presbyterian minister. Students and administrators at women’s colleges like Russell Sage are in the midst of dialogue about how to support transgender students while staying true to their mission of empowering women. As it happens, on the day of Alex’s visit to

Alex McNeill Russell Sage, the cover story of the Sunday New York Times Magazine was “The Men of Wellesley,” about this very issue. Seventeen “eager and thoughtful students,” as Rev. Illingworth describes them, attended the meeting with Alex,

and among them were student government leaders who came away with renewed commitment to continue the dialogue, and with a good example of the spirit that would keep it productive.

In 2015 other issues will come into focus through a lens that Alex helped to provide to those who met with him.

Understanding the transgender experi ence brings home the importance of pressing the New York State Legislature to finally pass the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA), which has been blocked by the Senate for the past five years.

On another front, although same-gender marriage is now legal in New York State, the Presbyterian Church still has work to do in recognizing the right of pastors and congregations to participate in same-gender marriage ceremonies as a matter of conscience.

Last June the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) affirmed that right, but an amendment to the church constitution describing marriage as between “two people” rather than between “a man and a woman” has been sent to all 172 presbyteries for ratification. As Executive Director of More Light Presbyterians, Alex McNeill is leading the campaign for ratification nation-wide. Members of Albany Presbytery will vote on the amendment at their November meeting with Alex’s testimony vividly in mind.

In his sermon during worship service at Troy First United on October 19, Alex traced his testimony back to its Biblical roots, choosing as one of his texts a passage from the Book of Acts (4:1920), in which the Apostles Peter and John declare: “we cannot keep from speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Alex McNeill has been a blessing by encouraging all of us to follow that example.

“We cannot keep from speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

Terry Diggory is a member of the coordinating team for Presbyterian Rainbow: http:// www.presrainbow.org/

19

“My business is my life.”

Your Assets MAY be Protected But is your family?

We know it’s not something you want to think about. But no one expects the unexpected.

The greatest gift you can give your loved ones is the assurance they are protected. That’s why at RBC Wealth Management we have knowledgeable financial advisors that can help address your unique concerns. You can create your own path forward. We can help.

Get more out of both.

The Living Balance Sheet® can help you find hidden value in your balance sheet. Learn

DaviD Connors

how to protect and grow your business and

Financial Advisor 455 Patroon Creek Blvd, Suite 200 Albany, NY 12206 (518) 432-1457 | (866) 615-2479 david.connors@rbc.com

make the most of untapped potential.

This revolutionary financial model lets you see the big picture of your finances – both business and personal – all in one place.

Helping you to adjust your strategies for optimal impact across the board, while allowing you to maximize your opportunities and the value of your business.

It’s worth it. Visit veronica_mangione@wagroupllc.com, or call VERONICA MANGIONE at 518-867-3210 for more information on The Living Balance Sheet ®.

Wealth Advisory Group LLC is an agency of:

®

The Living Balance Sheet ® and the Living Balance Sheet ® Logo are registered service marks of The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America (Guardian), New York, NY. The graphics and text used herein are the exclusive property of Guardian and protected under U.S. and International copyright laws. © Copyright 2005 – 2013, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America.

There’s Wealth in Our Approach.™

Registered Representative of Park Avenue Securities LLC (PAS) , . Securities products and services are offered through PAS. Financial Representative, The Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, New York, NY (Guardian). PAS is an indirect, wholly owned subsidiary of Guardian. This firm is not an affiliate or subsidiary of PAS or Guardian. |PAS is a member FINRA, SIPC|

VERONICA MANGIONE, Financial Representative • Wealth Advisory Group LLC • 255 WASHINGTON AVE EXT, SUITE 108 • ALBANY, NY 12205 •

Pub5941 GEAR 2013-0972

© 2014 RBC Wealth Management, a division of RBC Capital Markets, LLC, Member NYSE/FINRA/SIPC.

14-AY-177_3x5 bw Ad.indd 1

11/13/14 8:21 AM

 Design Build  Renovations  Additions  Green Services  Decks  Porches  Carpentry

“Providing All Your Residential,

Historic & Commercial Construction Needs!”

P.O. Box 504 Delmar, NY 12054

Phone: Fax:

admin@skylandsservices.com www.skylandsservices.com

20

518.488.0506 518.439.1222

Tra Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies A CALL TO ALL PROVIDERS: WE AREN’T forTHERE Healing &YET… Growth for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth by

Sarah Henry

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Relationship & Parenting Issues

Relationship & Parenting Issues

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues

As a Master’s of Social Work intern up the field is one of a caring, accepting daunting, as my knowledge and experiTrauma & Abuse Healing Trauma & Abuse Healing Trauma & Abuse from the University of Southern Califor- and understanding individual. Although ence wasHealing extremely limited. Although Depression & Anxiety Depression & Anxiety Depression & Anxiety nia, diving into different cultures, popu- that is not untrue, many in the field are sitting with a client and getting to know Violence Relationship Violence Relationship Violencewithin lations and communities allows me to not versed in caring for those them and Relationship understand their struggles is hoices hoices hoices Addictions & Recovery & Recovery Addictions &and Recovery understand theAddictions importance of connect- the LBGT C communities address- not new to me, truly understanding an C C With HIV & Illness HIVstruggles. & Illness Living HIV & Illness ing with peopleLiving andWith their I am ing their needs in anWith effective manner. individualLiving within the population recurrently anBody intern with theDisorders Pride Cen- This severely limits the options available quires Body education anDisorders unbiased sensiImage &and Eating Image & Eating Body Image & Eating Disorders ter of the Homestudies Capital Region, andServices the op- for LBGT individuals.

My experience tivity Homestudies that exceeds what already & Adoption Services existed & Adoption Homestudies & Adoption Services portunities I have been afforded during interning within this population has within me. In order to be a true social my graduate studies have provided me shown me the striking disparities that worker, I had to learn to connect with a insight into communities with whom I exist across all systems and the realiza- population I knew nothing about, proCounseling Counseling Consulting & Consulting & Consulting have had no previous contact, includ- tion that I was onceCounseling part of&the root of vide them with effective support and 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 ing the LBGT communities. Because I the problem. care, and identify how the entire process 438-7777 Fax 438-7777 Fax 438-7777 have had no previous contact with the affects me asFax an individual. population, felt Suite entirely unprepared Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 523 523 Western I Avenue, 2A (second floor) · Albany, NYto 12203 523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com info@choicesconsulting.com ·the www.choicesconsulting.com effectively assess and identify the needs After nearly eight months of an intensive As New rest of forYork, Healingand & Growth presented to me. This caused me to feel internship with a rather steep learning the nation, change course to a anxious and essentially inadequate when healthcare system that encom- curve, after hours and hours of readI3.75first began interacting with clients and history and current issues, and after passes mental health as an im-3.75 “ x 5” ing “ x 5” 3.75 “ x 5” the community. hours of sessions, I am still learning; but portant aspect of health overall, the guidance I have been provided durit is imperative that social work- ing this experience is invaluable and I However, it isn’t just connecting with the ers truly understand the needs am truly grateful. I am still working to communities and the people that constihoices & of the518-438-2222 population tute a social worker. It is understanding better understand with each experience Fax 438-7777 the systems of which those individuI have. I will continue to create a safe and Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies als try to navigate to fulfill their needs non-judgmental environment for all I for Healing & Growth are innate problem solv- serve. I will continue to provide effecand simultaneously overcome the needs Social workers that still plague the systems. As a social ers, and they are the focal point of pro- tive services. I will continue to advocate. worker, aspects of my training include viding resources and guidance to those I will continue to educate those around the ability to identify effective resources, we serve. As New York, and the rest of me. I will continue down this path of nation,Identity change course to a healthcare service for those I have served, those I educate myself on Sexual topics orOrientation cultures un- &the Gender known to me, and advocate for those I system that encompasses mental health currently serve and for those I will serve.

Relationship & Parenting Issues aspect of health overall, Fight on. as an important serve. it is imperative hoices that social workers truly & Healing Trauma & Abuse needs of the population There are barriers that still exist within understand the 518-438-2222 Fax 438-7777 Sarah J. Henry is Master’s of Social Work they are the person you passed a multiplicity of systems such as health- &because Depression Anxiety candidate from the University of Southern care, social work and law enforcement. on the street, the one standing behind California with a concentration in Mental in the grocery line and the one sitViolence For the LBGT population, Relationship barriers are you Health , as well as a sub concentration in hoices everywhere within these systems. In the ting next to you in the doctor’s office.

C military social work.

Sarah has been internAddictions & Recovery field of social work, one may think such ing at the Pride Center, Center Support Entering into the communities of the& Counseling barriers would not existLiving because the HIV Traditional HolisticProgram, Psychotherapies under the supervision With & Illness general perception of those that make LBGT population as an MSW intern was of Arlene Lev LCSW-R, CASAC.

T raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies T raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies T raditional & Holistic Psychotherapies for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Relationship & Parenting Issues

Relationship & Parenting Issues

Relationship & Parenting Issues

Healing Trauma & Abuse

Healing Trauma & Abuse

Healing Trauma & Abuse

Depression & Anxiety

Living With HIV & Illness

Living With HIV & Illness

Living With HIV & Illness

Body Image & Eating Disorders

Body Image & Eating Disorders

Body Image & Eating Disorders

Homestudies & Adoption Ser vices

Homestudies & Adoption Ser vices

Homestudies & Adoption Ser vices

Fa x

438-7777

5”

Addictions & Recover y

Counseling & Consulting 518-438-2222

Counseling & Consulting 518-438-2222

Fa x

Fa x

438-7777

438-7777

523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 i n fo @ c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m · w w w. c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m i n fo @ c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m · w w w. c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m

523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 i n fo @ c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m · w w w. c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m

x

Relationship Violence

Relationship Violence

Addictions & Recover y

Counseling & Consulting 518-438-2222

3.75 “

Depression & Anxiety

Depression & Anxiety

Relationship Violence

Addictions & Recover y

3.75 “

x

Choices

3.75 “

5”

x

5”

Choices

Choices

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues Healing Trauma & Abuse Depression & Anxiety

Relationship Violence

Addictions & Recovery

Living With HIV & Illness

Body Image & Eating Disorders

Homestudies & Adoption Services

C

Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies for Healing & Growth Counseling

Consulting

523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com

3.75 “ x 5”

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues Healing Trauma & Abuse Depression & Anxiety

Relationship Violence

Addictions & Recovery

Living With HIV & Illness

Body Image & Eating Disorders

Homestudies & Adoption Services

C

Counseling

Consulting

T raditional & Holistic Psychotherapie for Healing & Growth

523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues Healing Trauma & Abuse Depression & Anxiety

Relationship Violence

Addictions & Recover y

Living With HIV & Illness

Body Image & Eating Disorders

3.75 “ x 5”

Homestudies & Adoption Ser vices

Counseling & Consulting 518-438-2222

Fa x

438-7777

523 Western Avenue, Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany, NY 12203 i n fo @ c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m · w w w. c h o i ce s co n s u l t i n g. co m

3.75 “

x

5”

Growth Traditionalfor & Healing Holistic& Psychotherapies Homestudies & Adoption Services& Holistic Psychotherapies & Holistic Psychotherapies for Healing & Growth Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies TraditionalTraditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth Relationship & Parenting Issues Body Image & Eating Disorders

C

hoices Counseling Consulting

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Healing Trauma & Abuse& Gender Identity Sexual Orientation Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity

Relationship & Parenting Issues && Gender Identity Relationship & Parenting Issues Relationship & Parenting Issues Depression & Anxiety Healing Trauma & Abuse Healing Trauma & Abuse Healing Trauma Relationship & Abuse Healing Trauma & Abuse & Parenting Issues Relationship Violence 518-438-2222 Depression & Anxiety Depression & Anxiety Depression & Anxiety Depression & Anxiety Healing Trauma & Abuse Addictions & Recovery Relationship Violence Relationship Violence Relationship Violence Fax 438-7777 Relationship Violence Depression & Anxiety Living With HIV & Illness

Sexual Orientation Relationship & Parenting Issues

Addictions & Recovery

Addictions & Recovery

Addictions & Recovery

Addictions 523 Living Western Suite 2A (second floor) · Albany,Living NY 12203 LivingDisorders With HIV & Illness WithAvenue, HIV & Illness With HIV & Illness Body Image&& Recovery Eating Relationship Violence info@choicesconsulting.com · www.choicesconsulting.com Body Image Eating Disorders Body Image & Eating Disorders Body Image & Eating Disorders Living With HIV & Illness&Services Homestudies & Adoption Addictions & Recovery

Homestudies & Adoption Services

C

Homestudies & Adoption Services

Living With HIV & Illness

C

Homestudies & Adoption Services

Body Image & Eating Disorders

hoices C Choices

Body Image & Eating Disorders & Holistic hoices hoices hoices Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional & Holistic Psychotherapies Traditional Psychotherapies 21 Counseling & Consulting Counseling & Consulting Counseling & Consulting Counseling Consulting Homestudies & Adoption Services & for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth for Healing & Growth 3.75 “ x 5” 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 518-438-2222 Fax 438-7777 Fax 438-7777 Fax 438-7777 Homestudies & Adoption Services

V I N TA GE PR ID E: W h o W e Are ! inte rvie we d b y Chuck Z imme r man The Many Aspects of Joe: Reminiscing Joe Norton An alert and peculiar little, short and fragile looking elderly man, dressed in scanty leathers, possibly suspenders, and adorned with a multitude of medals and trinkets was standing alone

Joe Norton meant many things to many people; this is especially true among members of the Capital District GLBTQ community. Following my retirement and short-term move to the Catskills Town of Shandaken, NY in 1999 from metropolitan NYC, I was informed, through neighbors, that a group called S.T.A.R.S existed in the Albany area that might meet my present quest. I was seeking gay camaraderie for my country-roads motorcycle runs and discovered that S.T.A.R.S. [ Schenectady, Troy, Albany, Rensselaer and Saratoga], a men’s club, would meet periodically at the Phoenix Bar on Central Avenue, Albany.

22

One such early Saturday evening I decided to investigate this “S.T.A.R.S.” Unknown to any of the Phoenix clientele, I roamed the ground-level part of this bar, attempting contact with someone who might lead me to this ’fraternity of men’ I was seeking. An alert and peculiar little, short and fragile looking elderly man, dressed in scanty leathers, possibly suspenders, and adorned with a multitude of medals and trinkets [hmmmmm….short leather shorts, too!] was standing alone between the wall and billiard table in the center of the room. I approached him, both totally anonymous to each other, and asked about the possible biker group I had in mind. He immediately responded…..”We had two bikers once: one died and the other disappeared”. Unaware to me that evening at Phoenix Bar, I had introduced myself to the founder of S.T.A.R.S, and to the icon of Gay Pride and Support, of the Capital District of New York, as I would gradually discover over time. I did not follow any S.T.A.R.S

membership leads then and only returned to The Phoenix with friends several years later. I decided that it was a lot easier for me to travel the 65 miles from Chichester, NY, where I lived, to Albany, NY during daylight. “The Tuesday morning ‘Breuggers Group’, an informal weekly meeting of retirement-age men” was advertised in our Center’s “CommUNITY” paper and I wanted to check out this possible new fraternal venue for myself. The odd little gentleman was among the ten or so present on that first Tuesday I attended “The Breugger’s Bunch” nearly 15 years ago. Camaraderie IS rampant at these Tuesday morning informals, so when I inquired about the mystery man I had previously met at Phoenix, I was told by several….”Oh, that’s Joe, he founded this group probably about 20 years ago and we’ve been meeting ever since.” I was formally introduced to Joe Norton just before he climbed over the back of the extended bench to avoid bothering several other men on his way out the door, and, yes, he was wearing another pair of shortened shorts that morning, his family jewels nearly dangling from the loosened legs!

At this time of our introduction I knew virtually nothing about this Joe Norton other than his S.T.A.R.S and Brueggers Group affiliations and that I possessed several very misconceived ideas about whom he could or might be. A subsequent interview I conducted with him at the Gateway Diner in about 2001 [I had hoped to write a Vintage Pride: Who We Are column for the Pride Center back then] enlightened my views somewhat, followed by a myriad of Joe Norton recollections relayed to me through friends, contacts and events over the years. Joe Norton would evolve from a first impression peculiar little man to that of educator, innovator, reformer, mental health advocate, greeter and visitor, philanthropist to several people, and founder and supporter of numerous causes now taken for granted….. And, who knows ???….the many aspects of Joe.

I was formally introduced to Joe Norton just before he climbed over the back of the extended bench [to be continued]

Be part of the PLAN TO END AIDS Take Part in the Next Steps Youth-led discussion to promote positive, healthy, and informed choices regarding sexual health Discuss with experts in the field and youth leaders Monday, December 1, 2014 3:00-4:00pm Empire State Plaza, Convention Hall Albany, New York FREE and open to the public.

The New York State Youth Sexual Health Plan is a key resource for everyone!

Educators, community stakeholders, health care providers, policy makers, public and private sectors, parents, guardians, and youth are encouraged to attend!

For more information: worldaidsday@health.ny.gov

View the Plan at:

http://www.health.ny.gov/community/youth/development/docs/2014_nys_youth_sexual_health_plan.pdf

Have you put yourself at risk?

Need PrEP or HIV testing?

Albany Medical Center offers free assesment for PrEP and free HIV testing. www.amc.edu/HIV

Call 518.262.6923 for more information.

23

Public officials have announced a path forward to reducing new HIV infections to near zero, with many talking about the possibility of “the end of AIDS.” With some work, we could make new HIV infections about as common as TB infections, which is very uncommon. But for that to happen, the LGBT community needs to do a few things. Among them is to encourage people at high risk to use PrEP, which is a once daily pill called Truvada that can protect people from HIV. The message is finally getting through and the use of PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) is increasing in our community, but there are still too many people who have not started using it and still too much misinformation and ignorance. Recently, Scott Wiener, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, tried to encourage others by announcing that he is on PrEP. Really, this is good stuff. Daniel O’Connell, Director of the AIDS Institute at the New York State Department of Health says it’s a “game changer to have an option beyond condoms to offer people, but most especially gay men who continue to be disproportionately impacted.”

Remember, the LGBT community remains at the center of the HIV epidemic in the US. Recently, the number of new infections in our communities has been increasing! The vast majority of new infections are among gay men and transgender women, with a majority of those people of color. You can still protect yourself with abstinence or the use of condoms, but we know that not everyone uses condoms consistently.

Now we have another prevention method to add to the mix – PrEP. It’s not for everybody, but if you’re in the LGBT community and you have sex, you should look into it and talk to your doctor.

Importantly, our community leaders and organizations need to focus on educating the community and making this option available to those at risk. Though many doctors are prescribing it already, local doctors need to be educated about PrEP too.

Other high risk communities have already had success by adopting additional prevention methods. “We have made such options available to injection

24

PrEP and THE END OF AIDS by Terence Meehan

drug users and HIV-infected pregnant women and have seen new cases related to these populations plummet,” explains Mr. O’Connell. New infections among children born to mothers with HIV have been nearly eliminated by getting such women on antiretroviral therapies during their pregnancy. Infections among intravenous drug users in NY have fallen dramatically since the widespread use of needle exchange programs. People can debate the ethics of providing IV drug users with clean needles, but the programs have worked as intended.

Some people are still debating the ethics of taking a pill to help prevent HIV, but that’s all nonsense. Let’s focus on what works. PrEP works and reduces new HIV infections.

Gilead, at 1-855-330-5479 (if you don’t have insurance) or 1-877-505-6986 (if you have insurance) to apply for financial assistance. Or apply online. In other words, cost should not be a barrier for most people. Community organizations and the state need to step up to provide assistance to people who have trouble paying. That will likely happen soon.

Public officials have announced a path forward to reducing new HIV infections to near zero

New York State’s “End of AIDS” strategy has three components altogether: 1. Testing people and getting newly diagnosed people into care.

2. Getting and keeping people with HIV in care to keep them healthy and reduce the chance of transmission 3. Providing access to PrEP for high-risk people to keep them HIV negative.

PrEP offers no protection from syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, herpes or even the next sexually transmitted disease we haven’t yet seen. And PrEP must be taken regularly around the time you’re sexually active to be effective. For many people this is difficult. If you don’t take it regularly, it does not protect you from HIV. But strict daily use provides extremely good protection. There are programs and methods for helping people take their medications every day as prescribed. Where they don’t already, these programs need to be expanded to cover people on PrEP. If you have insurance, it probably covers PrEP. That goes for private insurance you get through your job, insurance you get from the NY State of Health “Obamacare” website, or from any public program like Medicaid. Deductibles and co-pays may be expensive for people with private insurance, but the company that produces the pill offers financial assistance to many people. And if you don’t have insurance at all, the company offers the pill free for many people who can’t afford it. Talk to a doctor first. And call the manufacturer,

Talk to your doctor if you have one. If you don’t have a doctor, contact the Pride Center or In Our Own Voices, or call Whitney M. Young. Jr. Health Services in Troy and Albany — (518) 465-4771 — for help in finding a doctor. Or search online for medical services. Visit prepfacts.org or the CDC website for more information.

Talk to your friends. If you are sexually active or an IV drug user and at risk of HIV, talk to a doctor about PrEP.

The PrEP part of the strategy is the newest. If you’re a community leader, you need to be taking action.

Let’s work to make this as routine as getting an HIV test. Let’s protect our community and eliminate new HIV infections.

Terence Meehan is a Ph.D. student in public administration at the Rockefeller College of Public Affairs and Policy at SUNY Albany.

He has a Master’s degree in public administration from Harvard University and served as Assistant Director of AESOP (An Effective Shield of Protection), an HIVprevention and outreach NGO in Moscow, Russia in the late 90s. His research focuses on innovation in health care.

Every December 1st, people come together from around the world in solidarity to pay tribute to the millions of people we have lost, celebrate the lives of people living with HIV/AIDS, raise awareness of the global impact of HIV/AIDS, and celebrate victories that are allowing more people to live longer and healthier lives through increased advances and access to HIV prevention, testing, treatment and care. The first World AIDS Day was held in 1988, marking the first ever global health day. Twenty-six years later we are still working to reduce new infections, provide excellent care for people with HIV/AIDS, and one day soon come to the end of this epidemic.

At the Pride Center, we are committed to promoting the wellbeing of our community. We encourage everyone to take charge of their health to make informed choices. We are proud to offer a safe and welocoming space to ask questions, and receive safer sex supplies such as condoms, dental dams, and water based lube. We also offer ongoing support and referrals to other supportive services such as the Albany Damien Center and the AIDS Council of Northeastern New York.

The following suggestions on how to observe Worlds AIDS Day 2014 are taken from: http://aids.gov/news-and-events/ awareness-days/world-aids-day/

SHARE THESE LEARN ABOUT THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT

Visit Healthcare.gov and Cuidado de Salud to find out about the Health Insurance Marketplace and more. Learn about the Affordable Care Act and HIV.

FEDERAL RESOURCES

White House - Red Ribbon World AIDS Day NHAS Report: “Improving Outcomes: Accelerating Progress Along the HIV Care Continuum” (www.whitehouse.gov/ sites/default/files/onap_nhas_improving_outcomes_dec_2013.pdf) Fact Sheet: Shared Responsibility to Strengthen Results for an AIDS-Free Generation (www.whitehouse.gov/ the-press-office/2013/12/02/factsheet-shared-responsibility-strengthen-results-aids-free-generati-0)

SHARE PHOTOS AND MESSAGES IN THE FACING AIDS PHOTO GALLERY.

(http://facing.aids.gov/gallery/) Share your message on social media using #FacingAIDS. By putting our faces to AIDS, we can help reduce the stigma around HIV and promote HIV testing.

WORLD AIDS DAY BADGE

World AIDS Day. December 1.

Help promote World AIDS Day. Post this web badge on your site. The Badge Code: <img alt=”World AIDS Day. December 1.” class=”wad-images” src=”http://aids.gov/images/world_ logo1.gif ” />

LEARN ABOUT THE EPIDEMIC

Learn the HIV/AIDS Basics.

Know the Facts, Take Care of Yourself.

Get fact sheets about the epidemic and other resources.

ATTEND AN AIDS DAY EVENT

See a schedule of events taking place in Albany on December 1st & 2nd here: www.health.ny.gov/diseases/aids/general/awareness_days/wad/docs/2014_event_ schedule.pdf or visit : www.health.ny.gov/diseases/aids/general/awareness_days/wad/

25

For issue released in November

Try us out for the holidays!

First United Presbyterian Church

EVENTS THINGS TO DO CONTESTS

A congregation dedicated to inclusiveness & social justice for the LGBTQ Community

1915 Fifth Ave., Troy 12180, 272-2771 10 AM Sunday Service Check our website for Advent & Christmas Eve Services: www.unitedprestroy.org

For issue released in December/January

Looking for a Welcoming Community?

Check us out!

First United Presbyterian Church

Guide to the Capital Region DINING NIGHTLIFE DIRECTORY & MORE!

26

A congregation dedicated to inclusiveness & social justice for the LGBTQ Community

1915 Fifth Ave., Troy 12180, 272-2771 10 AM Sunday Service Website: www.unitedprestroy.org

Rainbow flags in the sanctuary & outside

ASK MARK YOUR TAX QUESTIONS

Welcome to the DEAR MARK column where you can ask a tax question. Of course some questions might warrant answers that cannot be answered to due to the limited space in this column or warrant more facts due to specific circumstances of the taxpayer. =============================

Dear Mark, Years and years ago I had a business but it failed because I didn’t make enough money and I didn’t pay all my taxes. I got hounded by the IRS and NYS tax department and paid them a lot of money but now everything is quiet and I think they have forgotten about me. I asked my tax preparer if everything is good now and she told me that no news is good news.

I want to start a new business now.

Only problem is I am afraid if I do that, the old ghosts will resurrect themselves and maybe I still owe money.

What to do? Is my preparer correct?

Sign me as, Looking up at the sky and afraid it will come down.

Dear Looking, The best way to see if you owe delinquent taxes is to perform a tax search by contacting the various Federal and New York State tax agencies and asking them what is showing as due, both by type of tax, year and amount. Also, one should look for gaps in filing or missing returns and get those up to date. If your tax preparer is a EA CPA or Attorney , =============================

she should be able to have you sign power of attorneys to obtain the information. Also, you should have this person get wage and income and account transcripts to see what information the IRS and New York State has on your income and expenses. Also, she should review your bank records and other records to make sure all income and expenses and returns have been prepared.

It is also important to verify the income and other tax returns that ARE filed to ensure that the returns were filed by you, not estimated returns filed by the government based upon the information they have. The government often will file a “dummy” return based on information it has to create a basis for a tax assessment, and quite often that amount is higher than is actually owed.

If you are not able to address this issue with your preparer please give me a call to set up an appointment. Part of my practice involves reconstructive services which includes preparing old returns and addressing old tax issues for clients. =============================

Dear Mark W, i was bitten by a dog this year. It was my next door neighbor’s dog, and I filed a complaint against the neighbor’s insurance company. I went through a lawyer and the lawyer charged me one third of the settlement plus expenses. Can I write off the lawyer’s fee?

VTY, EF

=============================

Dear E F , I assume that your settlement was for pain and suffering. If that is the case, the amount received is nontaxable.

When one receives a settlement that is nontaxable, generally speaking , any associated fees with that settlement are nondeductible

============================= Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York =============================

=============================

Mark D. Witecki

Certified Public Accountant Certified Financial Planner™ Certified Fraud Examiner Tax Preparation 3701 State Street, Schenectady, NY 12304 (518) 463-4000 f: (518) 346-5196 Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the Certified Marks CFP (c). Certified Financial Planner ™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S. which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP’s initial and ongoing certification requirements

27

28

Members

AIDS Council of Northeastern New York Albany.com Aras Performance Group, Inc Buenau's Opticians Capital District YMCA Canterbury Animal Hospital Central Avenue BID

Charles F. Lucas Confectionery / The Grocery

Classy Body Art Corey Jamison Consulting, LLC. Connections Psychotherapy Deb Best Practices Deja Vu Experience and Creative Design, Ltd. Geri Pomerantz, Esq Homo Radio / WRPI Janet Stein / Arbonne International Jay Zhang Photography Joseph Roche Journey United Church of Christ L&P Media Mazzone Hospitality / Aperitivo Bistro Mexican Radio Schenectady Montgomery County Office for Aging Northeast Acura Rain Modern Chinese

QueerEngineer Get to know us & how you can support LGBTQ* students in science, technology, engineering, & mathematics. /QueerEngineer

@QueerEngineer

Ronnie Mangione / Wealth Advisory Group

RBC Wealth Management Security Plumbing & Heating Supply Skylands Services, INC Spectrum 8 Theatre Sunrise Management and Consulting Tri City Rentals Wells Fargo

- JOIN TODAY! www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance

A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate

29

MONEY MATTERS

by

As same sex marriage becomes more accepted, the face of the LGBT family is changing. In days gone by, many experienced shunning from genetic family and thus created families of their own choice. Everyone needs somebody to look after them. While living in Orlando for a time, my roommate was a drag mother. Her drag name was “Debbie Disco.” She passed away about ten years ago and I miss her often. We had a group of about ten people who did everything together.

These were the times our grandkids will not hear about until they can vote.

We were a crazy crew, but as time progressed, our gang became smaller and smaller. Even though Orlando is and was an accepting city, we were still in a state that did not respect us. Between this, religious fundamentalism, and closed minded family members, we sought out familial relationships of our choosing. Finally, in 1991, I moved back to NY with one friend left and a whole lot of survivor guilt.

This time of year is not the time to look back at things you do not have. It is time to appreciate the things you do have Times have changed. As I write this column, our 18 month old God daughter is running around the house a little too fast while Barney the dinosaur is playing on the TV. She went to her first drag show at 9 months old, I am proud to say. My step son who was suburbanized through his teen years was actually on a TV ad for Marriage

Thomas J. Walling CFP®

Our Changing Families Equality in Maryland. I am a Grandpa, which was something I never imagined as my moniker. I know several couples who have been through quite a lot in order to be parents and they get the utmost of respect from me. These are but a few things we have fought so hard to gain. We should never take these things for granted.

Protecting those you love is one way to appreciate your family. Disability, death or even unemployment can derail plans for both you and your family’s future. Insurances can take some of that risk away. Disability Insurance (DI) can be attained through work or private policies. DI covers a percentage of your income in the case that you cannot work due to an injury or illness. Life insurance can help with providing a lump sum or income to family members who are already dealing with enough emotional stress.

Keeping cash reserves is also very important in the case of unemployment or another emergency. It is usually recommended that 3-6 months of expenses be placed somewhere accessible in case the need arises. When looking into these things, it is recommended to speak with a financial professional. Also, make sure your legal stuff is in order by consulting an attorney. This should go without saying for those who are planning to or have children.

Marriage may not be your thing either because of; not needing a piece of paper to sanctify your commitment, taxes, or an “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” attitude regarding your relationship.

The Marriage Equality movement collaterally created “Domestic Partners.”

It is a hybrid entity that spoon fed LGBT to the masses. Many benefits are available without legal marriage to provide for the health and well being of your Partner. Straight unmarried couples use these too, so they may be around for quite a while.

Protecting those you love is one way to appreciate your family So, as we look to the holidays and New Year, appreciate and enjoy your family, however it came into being. Our people are our people and they understand and love us. This time of year is not the time to look back at things you do not have. It is time to appreciate the things you do have. Right now I am appreciating the stain resistant fabric on my furniture and the fact that most kids grow out of Barney the purple dinosaur. Happy Holidays!

Thomas J. Walling CFP® is an Investment Advisor Representative of and offers securities and investment advice through Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC. (Member FINRA/ SIPC) and a Registered Investment Advisor.

Branch office:235 Lark St. #43 Albany, NY 12210. He is also past presenter at the Pride Center on financial affairs affecting the LGBT community as well as for SAGE of NYC. Tom Is past presidents of the board of directors of The Albany Damien Center, Inc. as well as Our Brothers’ Keepers Foundation.

Tom can be reached at 518.878.1294 or Thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com

Your Point of Entry for Information, Referral and Assistance to Long Term Care Services Montgomery County Office for Aging, Inc. & Montgomery County Department of Social Services

1-888-460-9624 518-843-2300 518-853-5088

30

GAY MAN’S MUSINGS

by

Nyvek Moshier

Family, A Colorful Concept...

Family, this word has never had a simple meaning for me at any point in my life. As a child who was adopted, I struggled to compare my family to those kids who were raised by their biological parents. Coming to terms with being gay meant acknowledging that the word family would likely never mean the same thing to me as it would to my friends and family. My whole life has consisted of an ever changing definition of what it means to be a family.

My Fiancé Jonathan and I recently chose a date for our wedding. We come from very different families that have had very different impacts on our lives. Jonathan comes from a small family consisting of him, his mother, father and one sister. He also has two aunts and a couple cousins. I on the other hand have seventeen siblings, five adoptive and twelve biological, along with dozens of nieces and nephews.

In terms of accepting us as gay, our families have also differed in their approaches. Overall both of our families have accepted us, but the path to acceptance was challenging to each of us in different ways. Just before coming out I heard my one sister say that she believed “All faggots should been lined up and shot dead”. After coming out I had another sister say she would never leave me alone with her son. Jonathan only experienced opposition with his mother. Ultimately his mother’s stance was this, and I quote “It’s okay that you are gay, but remember that you are still a man.” This was his mother’s passive way of telling him that being gay was by no means a license to become flamboyant.

Coming to terms with being gay meant acknowledging that the word family would likely never mean the same thing to me as it would to my friends and family Now since our coming outs, Jonathan and I have resolved the majority of the conflicts with our families and those ties are stronger than ever in many ways. But family took on yet another meaning as we embraced the LGBT community. I already understood that blood did not define what it meant to be a family, but even I was taken aback by just how many beautiful people we would meet in the community and come to love as though they were our brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. So the definition of family has once again undergone a transformation in my life. And as I sit here composing this article, I look forward to further evolution in regards to what exactly family means to me. With all this said, Jonathan and I face another decision as we approach the subject of having children. As an adopted child, I clearly have an understanding that there is much more to family than blood. But still, my heart does long for that genetic connection. We now must sit and discuss how we envision our family. If we adopt, are we willing to take on a special needs child? If we choose surrogacy, how do we choose the woman who will carry our child? And then of course there is the fact that we would be required to go outside of New York State if we chose surrogacy since it is illegal here.

So as we prepare to enter 2015, family is very much on our minds. And while we are in no way certain as to how our family will look, we are certain that we cannot wait to have one. I end this article with one very powerful truth in my life. All through my life I have experienced a great deal of uncertainty, but one thing has never changed. While I have not always known what I wanted to be, who I would marry or where I would live; I have always known that I was destined to be a father. And to that child that has yet to enter our lives, I make this promise; I will always love you unconditionally.

Since our coming outs, Jonathan and I have resolved the majority of the conflicts with our families and those ties are stronger than ever in many ways. But family took on yet another meaning as we embraced the LGBT community

Nyvek is a local college student who has been volunteering with the Pride Center since 2008. It was Nyvek’s passion for weddings that first got him involved in the fight for marriage equality and the community as a whole.

Thomas J. Walling, CFP®

INVESTMENT ADVISER REPRESENTATIVE

NY Insurance License #LA910069 235 Lark St., Suite 43 Albany, NY 12210 Direct: 518.878.1294 thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC

31

Are you searching for a Financial Advisor?

Are you searching for a Financial Advisor?

Residential • Commercial Land & Development Landlord / Tenant Representation

Are you unhappy with your current advisor?

Are your accounts receiving the service they deserve?

Are you struggling to manage your portfolio on your own?

Has your portfolio lived up to your expectations?

74034-v5 A1585

Experience the Wells Fargo difference. If you are Are you unhappy with yourAdvisors current advisor? looking for a Financial Advisor who stands apart from the crowd, Are your accounts receiving the service they deserve? come and see what makes us different. We offer comprehensive Are you struggling to manage your portfolio on your own? investment advice, a broad range of investment choices, and Has your portfolio lived up to your expectations? dedicated personal service.

Experience the Wells Fargo Advisors difference. If you are looking for a Financial Advisor who stands apart from the crowd, come and see what makes us different. We offer comprehensive investment advice, a broad range of investment choices, and Meleco, DiNallo, Kelleher Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors dedicated personal service.

CW Kelleher Vice President - Investment Officer 30 S Pearl St P-2 Albany, NY 12207 Direct: (518) 455-7461 Meleco, DiNallo, Kelleher Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors cw.kelleher@wellsfargoadvisors.com www.melecodinallokelleher.wfadv.com CW Kelleher Vice President - Investment Officer 30 S Pearl St P-2 Albany, NY Investment and12207 Insurance Products: u NOT FDIC Insured u NO Bank Guarantee u MAY Lose Value Direct: 455-7461 Wells Fargo(518) Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of cw.kelleher@wellsfargoadvisors.com Wells Fargo & Company.

2013 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. © www.melecodinallokelleher.wfadv.com

Investment and Insurance Products: u NOT FDIC Insured u NO Bank Guarantee u MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. © 2013 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.

74034-v5 A1585

0214-03393

0214-03393

32

Brian Brosen & Reginald Monroe Licensed Associate Real EstateBrokers

FAMILIES CENTERED IN THE SUPPORT OF A VILLAGE by

Marielle McKasty-Stagg

overtly rude or cruel (in fact one of the most endearing aspects of the south is the unflagging politeness with which its residents conduct themselves), but I certainly had moments where I felt unsettled and I realized what was missing – with all the bags of toddler clothes and sunscreen I packed I realized there was something we forgot: our village.

W hen

I became a parent, I had certain expectations. I expected to be overjoyed with a new member of my family, I anticipated I would feel love and devotion like never before, and I braced myself for sleepless nights and bodily fluids. I knew this transformative part of my life would be thrilling for my wife and I, equal parts eye opening and exhausting. With all that thought and planning, the one thing I didn’t realize was just how important other people would become. Having spent the better part of my youth rolling my eyes at sayings like “It takes a village” I now realized that a village had become the reality of my life. I could easily see that a supportive family can help with a last minute childcare snafu, good friends can lovingly remind you that it’s normal for your house to be that dirty, and having an employer who understands the reality of parenting can make all the difference in giving you the time and freedom to be the parent you always hoped to be.

Like many of life’s most important gifts, the community of support was something that could easily be taken for granted. Living my life in a bubble of familial, friend, and work support had been a privilege, and it almost become one that I was ready to take for granted.

Earlier this year, my family and I went to Myrtle Beach for the first time. The beach was beautiful, the water was warm and the time with family was great. As much as we were having the time of our lives, I couldn’t help but notice some strange glares or eyes lingering on us a little too long. It took me a little while to catch on, then I realized, families like mine were not the “norm”. No one was

I, Like many other LGBTQ parents, notice the double glances, the assumptions that my daughter is my niece, or the loud questions about where she was adopted from or how I “handle her ethnic hair” Of course, life in the Capital Region isn’t always perfect. I, like many other LGBTQ identified parents, do notice the double glances, the casual assumptions that my daughter is my niece, or the loud, awkward questions about where she was adopted from or how I “handle her ethnic hair”. The first two years of my daughter’s life were spent in a fog of sleep deprivation and love (in seemingly equal measure) and, now that she sleeps more (but still somehow not enough), I have had the time to pause and reflect on what has made this journey to parenthood better, and what has made me a stronger parent. Realizing that it was my community of support, my village if you will, that made the difference, I now felt certain that I wanted to be a part of giving others that same fun, supportive, and understand ing space that I had been afforded.

T h e Center Families group has bec o m e t h a t place for me, and for my family. We’re hoping to be part of a community committed to creating

an inclusive space where all LGBTQ families with children have visibility and opportunities to thrive. So far we have had several successful events including: a fun outdoor meet-up at the Crossings Playground in Colonie, an afternoon of Family Yoga in Delmar, Storytime at the Albany Public Library and an information night for folks interested in becoming foster families. Now that the holidays are upon us, we are working hard to plan a Holiday Cabaret and Drag Show for families and kids this December.

We are always looking for more families to join our events and become part of our community – whether your children listen to the Frozen soundtrack on a loop or have started begging you to drop them off a block away from school, Center Families is a place where you and your family can find fun and support.

Right now, we are looking to create more opportunities for families with older kids or teen agers – if you are interested in helping to plan or attend any events please contact us at the Pride Center.

Special Thanks to some of my villagers: Amy Peker and Katie Skiff for making Story time so awesome, Krista Spohr for putting on the best kid yoga class around, to my wife Nicole for designing flyers and for being there always and to Rosy Galvan for her patience, support which makes Center Families possible.

Like many of life’s most important gifts, the community of support was something that could easily be taken for granted

33

LGBT PARENTING: A REFLECTION by

Arlene Lev

Jack Stevens on right, with Vince Sgambati and their son Jesse This month CommUnity is celebrating our queer families and I am celebrating the Bar Mitzvah of my youngest son and shepherding my oldest through his second year of college. For two decades we have shared parenting with other families and I am watching a generation of children move into adulthood, reared by out queer parents. Collectively there are a dozen (near) adults, many of who are queer identified themselves. It’s true, Family Research Council (rightwing, tea-party republicans) – some of our kids are queer themselves <insert huge smiley emoticon>. They are all the most amazing group of young people imaginable – fierce warriors, gentle souls, and wise beyond their years.

But as they age, we age too. Last month we lost a dear friend to cancer.

An amazing gay father, who with his partner of nearly 40 years, reared an amazing trans son. In honor of his life, and all that our families have shared, I am re-printing something I wrote nearly a decade ago. During my early years of parenting, I wrote a column, In a Family Way, that was nationally syndicated. Today, we’d likely call it a “blog.” This was written upon returning home from our summer retreat in Provincetown at Family Week, circa 2005. (http://www.choicesconsulting. com/familyway/). I have chosen to leave it “as is,” though there is much I see differently today looking back, and some would choose different pronouns today. Like the black and white photos of my youth, this is picture of a time that is quickly fading in an era of marriage

34

equality, and the huge gaybaby boom that leaves many activists drowning in diapers. Some may even wonder why we needed a queer parenting retreat – why not just go to any beach with your children?

I write this with tears in my eyes remembering Jack Stevens, running down to the edge of the water, herding – like the little goats they were – the children. LOTS of children, maybe twenty, varying in ages from 2-17, with Jack making sure all were safe, all had towels, all had pails to collect their crabs, all are were being kind to one another, and most importantly all were accounted for. Part of me will always be sitting on the porch watching Jack, a mother-hen if there ever was one.

We knew that the children would mature; we knew we would age. I didn’t think we’d lose Jack so young. My friend Jack – if I could only learn to radiate even a tiny amount of the gentleness and kindness that you did caring for those you loved. May our sons realize that an amazing role model you were, just being yourself in a world that would have denied you all that we built together, if we had let them. Yes, Jack, we were and are indeed very fortunate.

Provincetown, Family Week, for Jack Stevens It is truly amazing how 400 queer families can completely transform a small seaside fishing resort! Yes, 400 LGBT

families have once again descended on Provincetown, Massachusetts for the 10th anniversary of Family Week. Gay dads with one, two, three, and even seven, yes seven, children in tow. Lesbian moms pushing double strollers holding twins, couples round with babies on the way. Babies held in carriers close to their bodies, toddlers up on shoulders bouncing, small children pulled in bicycle carriers behind fast peddling dads trying to figure out [how] to stay fit while parenting. And oh those teens and pre-teens; many have that classic teenage bored look, as if standing on street corners with drag queens who are in heels and make up and flashing pasties encouraging people to come to their evening performance, is just so regular, so blasé, so “whatever” that it’s not worth discussing. Others have that absolute directed intensity of activist youth; they make fierce eye-contact while offering to shake your hand and discuss the need for sex education in the public schools, or how sad and painful it is to have your gay dad die of AIDS, especially when your school doesn’t want you to talk about it. Our children -- growing up and taking on the world.

Family Week, produced by the Family Pride Coalition (now the Family Equality Council), has been a refuge for LGBT families, one of the very few places we go where our rainbow families are bell-curve normal. Same-sex headed families, mixed-race families, gender-bent expression are the norm; kids play on the beach, digging for

crabs, rafting on the ocean, while their parents discuss how to raise issues of diversity and homophobia within the school systems.

As we were leaving this year, friends crowded around the van, yelling “drive safe” and “see you next year,” blowing kisses and waving, a friend playfully asked, “What about this scene is like saying goodbye when I was kid growing up in Queens, and what is so very different?” We all laughed (a group of expatriate ethnic New Yorkers); indeed, much was the same forty years later. We all talked loudly and at the same time, we had left over food packed up to take home (albeit in coolers not shopping bags), we said goodbye about 50 times before we actually left (and then came back because we forgot something). We had taken the best of our family gatherings, legacies from the old countries from where our grandparents fled, seeking a better life. We had given our children that same wonderful summer feeling we remembered from our youth of sun, and water, good food and wild fun, and lots of loving parental arms to run to when the inevitable children’s squabbling began or to wipe away the tears when a boo-boo happened.

But, for all our regular-ness, we are not just an average group of dads and moms. My friend who asked the question has been in a thirty year relationship with his male partner.

They are two white men who adopted their African-American daughter at birth, a wild and strong-willed child, who plays baseball with a fierce intensity, challenging boys’ years older than her. Their daughter has a pen-pal, an older African-American girl who is leaving for college this year. She too is the daughter of a white gay male couple who have also been together for thirty years. Her parents were the first gay couple to adopt in New York State, paving the way for all of our families, and their daughter is now a fierce advocate for gay-parented families. My friends pose for pictures, two white dads, their arms loving protecting their Black daughter, her long-hair neatly plaited, painting a new portrait of the American family.

During Family Week we attended synagogue services. We sat with LGBT families, representing all colors of the rainbow, forever changing the face of Judaism. We also attended the

COLAGE (Children of Lesbian and Gays Everywhere) dance, watching our children all dressed up, one young boy in outrageous drag, madly, crazily, dancing with joyful, youthful abandon. Our children are safe here in P-town, in this little town on edge of Atlantic Ocean, playing, praying, dancing, and even doing drag — not because children of queer people want to do drag anymore than any other children might, but because they can if they want to. They can collect hermit crabs (as long as they throw them back in the water afterwards); they can play competitive baseball (even if they are girls with neatly braided hair); they can wear yarmulke’s on their not so neatly dreadlocked hair (and not be the only one), and they can dress up in heels and wigs with their parents cheering them on, making fashion suggestions.

That is quite different from the way it was when I was growing up on the streets of Queens! (Okay, it was really Brooklyn).

We had taken the

best of our family gatherings, legacies from the old countries from where our grandparents fled, seeking a better life. We had given our children that same wonderful summer feeling we remembered from our youth.

So the queens and dykes, from Queens and Brooklyn, are in a family way, keeping the best from the past, and building a future for our children.

LAW OFFICE OF GERI POMERANTZ, ESQ. Proudly serving the LGBT community and our friends

Arlene Lev is a family therapist, a queer activist, a lesbian mom, and a writer when she can find the time and inspiration.

She is the Founder and Clinical Director of Choices Counseling and Consulting and TIGRIS, the Institute for Gender, Relationships, Identity, and Sexuality (www. choicesconsulting. com). She is also very proud to be the Clinical Supervisor for the Pride Center’s Center Support Counseling Services.

694 Columbia Turnpike East Greenbush, NY 12061 Tel: 518-479-3713 http://pomerantzlaw.org/ Practice focused on family and matrimonial law

35

Advertisers Index

*BUILDING pride* *ENGAGING community* * EMPOWERING lives*

Albany.com.....26 Albany Gay Men’s Chorus....42 Albany Medical Center.....23 Buenau’s Opticians.....32 Canterbury Animal Hospital.....20 Choices Counseling & Consulting.....21 Corey Jamison Consulting.....30 Drue Sanders Custom Jewelers.....8 Emmanuel Baptist Church.....40 First United Presbyterian Church.....26 HomoRadio.....39 Jay Zhang Photography.....3 Law Office of Geri Pomerantz....35 Ronnie Mangione, Financial Advisor.....20 Lesbian and Gay Families Building Project.....8 Montgomery County Office for the Aging.....30 Northeast Acura.....32 Queer Engineer.....28 RBC Wealth Management.....20 Realty USA - The Capital Team.....32 RiverStone Consulting.....39 Saratoga Pride.....28 Security Plumbing and Heating Supply....30 Skylands Services.....20 Spectrum 8 Theatre..... 42 Super Ball at Bristol Mountain.....4 Sutton Law Firm.....39 The State Room.....44 Times Union Center.....44 Tri City Rentals.....48 Welcoming Congregations.....18 Wells Fargo Advisors.....32 Thomas J. Walling, CFP® / Cetera Advisor Networks.....30 Mark Witecki CPA, CFP......27

Place your ad in CommUNITY and expand your brand awareness while directly reaching the important LGBTQ market For more information contact Steven @ 518-462-6138 or sminchin@capitalpridecenter.org

36

MICHAEL COOKS AND YOU CAN TOO

Happy New Year! by

When it comes to New Year’s Eve

and entertaining friends, there’s no more festive way to get everyone in the party mood than by popping open a bottle of bubbly. Bubbles have a way of making everyone’s spirits rise and reminding them of good times. It’s nearly impossible to be in a bad mood while sipping sparkling wine.

tion that sent C02 gas into the wine.

Among connoisseurs, some of the most popular champagnes are the ones from families who grow grapes and then use it to make their own boutique style champagne.

Sparkling Shiraz

Champagne is the classic choice; the French sparkling wine is singular in its cachet and historic appeal. But there’s a whole other world of delightful sparkling wines to explore. Along with offering a range of different flavors and styles, an international bubbly often can be a more affordable choice if you’re entertaining a crowd.

Down under in Australia, deep dark burgundy sparkling Shiraz has been enjoyed since the 1860s. Legend has it that a Frenchman from Champagne moved to Australia and started making méthode champenoise wines using the abundant local Shiraz grapes. Sparkling Shiraz offers deep flavors of berries, cassis and

Some of the best sparkling wines are the ones made right here in the United States. Made using the traditional Champagne method, sparkling wines

by American vintners like Iron Horse, Domaine Chandon, Gruet and Schramsberg offer bright fresh flavors and toasty complexity bathed in fine bubbles.

Here’s the lowdown on some of my favorite international sparkling wines for the holidays or any time you want to add some sparkle to a festive occasion.

Champagne Traditionally made from Chardonnay, Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier grapes, Champagne is the most famous sparkling wine in the world. The thing that makes Champagne special is the way it gets its fizz. When you see the words “méthode champenoise” on the bottle, it means a combination of yeast, wine and sugar was bottled, starting a secondary fermenta-

Mi chael Me ad e

chocolate balanced by a spicy hint of white pepper Pair it with roast turkey dinner like they do in Australia, heartier meats like lamb and pork or blue cheese.

Prosecco Fresh flavors of green apple, green pear and citrus come in every glass of Prosecco, which is a very popular

sparkling wine these days. The best Proseccos come from the Veneto region in northeast Italy, where they’re made from prosecco grapes. Its soft bubbles, lower acidity and fruitiness make Prosecco very easy to quaff.

Prosecco is an ideal mixing wine for making fruity cocktails like the classic peach nectar Bellini or Mimosas.

Cava Chances are, if you’ve had a “Champagne cocktail” at a brunch or swanky bar, you were probably drinking a Cava. With its bright fresh flavors and “minerality” (a subtle, dry quality that most often comes from grapes grown in limestone, schist and granite soils), this Spanish sparkler is a great stand-in for more expensive Champagne. Cava is made the same way as Champagne but using three local grapes: Xarel-lo, Macabeo and Parellada. The name Cava literally means “cave” in Spanish, referring to the place where this wine is aged before being brought to market.

Moscato d’Asti With its appealing aromas of peaches, apricots and flowers and delightful sweet-tart flavor, Moscato is like drinking in a summer day. Crafted from moscato grapes, this fine, softly sparkling wine from Italy’s Piedmont region is very easy to love. Moscato is especially appealing for guests who aren’t big wine drinkers, but love to enjoy a glass of something bubbly around the holidays.

Brachetto Sometimes called a light-red version of Moscato d’Asti, Brachetto is a lightbodied, aromatic wine with distinctive notes of strawberries. Grown in the Piedmont region of northern Italy, it comes in two versions: spumante (fully sparkling) and frizzante (lightly sparkling). Moscato d’Asti is delicious with a fruit-based dessert, while Brachetto shines with bittersweet chocolate or tart lemon desserts.

And as another year draws to a close, I wish all of you a holiday season filled with warmth and joy and I look forward to seeing you here again in 2015!

37

H e r e ’s G u f f man

by

Pat rick Whit e

AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH JJ BUECHNER When casting about for the topic of my column showcasing theatre for the December issue of community I simply glanced across the rehearsal hall at my Artistic Director this month, JJ Buechner, who runs the Local Actors Guild of Saratoga. He’s doing something unusual this holiday season. He’s offering a new play festival featuring 3 local playwrights with fully staged, off book presentations of their new works running in repertory from December 13th thru the 21st at The Arts Center at 320 Broadway in downtown Saratoga. I thought I would find out what inspired him to do this.

JJ Buechner What is your theatrical background?

“I’ve been involved in theater since I was a young child. I’ve work all over the Capital District including Curtain Call Theater, HMT, SLOC, Spotlight Players, SCCC, Confetti Stage and I spent three summers doing stock at The Fort Salem Theater. I studied theater at SCCC with Sandra Boynton.”

What was the play that changed your life? It’s funny, people have asked me this before and it’s such a hard question for me to answer. I don’t think it was one particular play that changed

my life but there are two plays that I’ve performed in that really changed how I looked at acting. The first was “Torch Song Trilogy”, I played Arnold which required me to be on stage for 3 ½ hours without a break and the second was “Of Mice and Men” where I played Lennie. Both roles were physically and mentally draining. Each night after the show I had to learn how to let go of the characters I was playing. Those two characters go through so much and it was hard to play them but so rewarding. It really changed how I looked at the craft of acting.”

How long has the Local Actors Guild of Saratoga been around? “I started the LAGS in September of 2006 with a staged reading of the show “The Guys.”

The first production was in conjunction with another theater company that unfortunately is no longer in business.

After “The Guys” there was supposed to be another collaborative production between the other company and LAGS of the musical “Nunsense”. That sadly fell through, when that happened a good friend of mine simply said “Why don’t you just do it on your own.” Three months later “Nunsense” was up and running. After its success I decided to go forward with producing a full season and I’ve been in business ever since.

What is the purpose of the New Play Festival? “When I first started producing shows playwrights would randomly send me scripts of new plays and musicals. Unfortunately I received shows that really didn’t fit my vision for the company. So I thought “what would happen if I asked playwrights to submit full length new works?” I received so

many wonderful shows and I literally could have planned two seasons just from the submissions I received. I was a little overwhelmed at first but I had the help of other theater professionals in reading and choosing the two other plays. We are hoping to make this a yearly festival.”

So, there you have it: a snapshot of another working theatre group in the Capital Region, thriving, doing unusual and daring things. If the level of interest in creating theatre in the Capital Region were a publicly traded stock you would be very wealthy investing in this continually climbing resource.

The plays are “Chasing Charles” by Buechner, directed by Hollie Miller, “Life in 3D” written and directed by Christina Asselin and “Welcome Home Jimmy” by Brian Sheldon directed by Patrick White. Call the box office at 518-393-3496 for show times and tickets which are $15. each or $30 for a flex ticket to all three shows. Happy Holidays!

Patrick White is a Capital Region actor, director and teacher who is currently directing “Welcome Home Jimmy” for LAGS, “Yuletide Revels” for the First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 12/12 at 7PM and 12/14 at 10AM. He is also offering an adult acting class on Saturday mornings.

Contact Patrick at: white.patrick1963@gmail.com.

Rainbow Cafe & Center Arts present

G.O.O.D. SUNDAYS OPEN MIC Dance, Music, Comedy, Poetry...

1st Sunday of Every Month * 6-9pm * Rainbow Cafe

Hosted by House of Dom & Nime Unique

38

free

332 Hudson Ave, Albany

THE FASHIONABLE AND THE FRIVOLOUS by Alan Ben n et Ilag an

My First Brush With Accessorizing

The very first fashion accessory that caught my eye (as blasphemous as it may be to characterize it as such) was my grandmother’s rosary. A rope of Tiffany-blue glass crystals that she worried religiously between her fingers as she recited her prayers, it ended with the small silver sculpture of Christ on the cross. Before I ever learned which prayer corresponded to which bead, I was fascinated by their sparkle, their order, even their sound. They made the lightest clicking noise, like the smallest set of monotonic chimes. There, in my grandmother’s wrinkled hands, was my first brush with accessorizing.

She is the first one who taught me the importance of a proper accessory, and that usually meant some sort of flashy jewelry. Far removed from my mother’s conservative style (she favored gold and elegance and simplicity), Gram’s accessories were bold and vibrant and often quite sparkly. With crystals and sequins and unabashed pizzazz, she used those pieces as a counterpoint for her relatively shy persona.

to church, to her grandson’s birthday.

It was a lesson I took to heart, one that began with the fabulousness of a crystal rosary, bound by prayers, and emboldened by the love of a grandson for his grandmother.

Proudly continuing to serve as the voice of the LGBT community after 22 years…

Live every Sunday 10AM – 2 PM Check us “OUT”: WRPI 91.5 FM or wrpi.org 518.276.6248

•

homoradio.blogspot.com

How strange, yet how fitting, that such a small object could bring back such a flood of memories.

Whenever someone challenges something as trifling as fashion, I think back to the power that my grandmother’s rosary had over me. I smile, adjust whatever bit of flair I may have on, and suddenly my grandmother is with me again.

She dressed rather plainly, favoring black and navy and subdued darker tones, but when it came to her accessories, she was all flash and glitter. Purses of intricate bugle beading, necklaces of trailing crystals, broaches of multi-colored cut stones and those wondrous earrings that caught the light and simply sparkled – they set off the hidden facets of her outwardly shy countenance.

When we’d visit her in Hoosick Falls, I’d browse through her jewelry boxes, taking out the clip-on earrings (she would never be bold enough to pierce her ears) and the bracelets and the pins. In the afternoon and morning, they reflected and refracted the sunlight, mesmerizing my young eyes and captivating my young gay soul.

At night, when she would tuck my brother and myself in around the time of her holiday visits, she’d regale us with tales of Greta Garbo and movie stars gone by, the actresses of the silver screen in all their black-and-white glory, and the way they dressed and carried themselves. It was my first lesson in glamour. Throughout it all, the rosary clinked in her hand, its twinkling orbs chained in groups of ten, divided by Hail Marys, linked by a silver chain.

She wasn’t fussy, flashy or ostentatious. She worked at the armory during the second World War, for crying out loud. Yet she allowed herself one or two pieces to pop whenever she was going out – to dinner,

Alan Bennett Ilagan is a freelance writer and amateur photographer who resides in upstate New York with his husband Andy. He created the website www.ALANILAGAN.com, which contains a repository of his work, as well as a daily blog; the website recently celebrated its tenth anniversary online. He was the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery from 2008 to 2012. His writing has appeared in Instinct, xy magazine, Capitalmen, Q Northeast, the Windy City Times, and the Boston Phoenix. Notable artistic collaborations have been created with the likes of Steven Underhill, Paul Richmond, Dennis Dean, and Michael Breyette.

Lifestyle Photography is... Your Everyday, Your Important Moments, Your Once In A Lifetimes, Your Loved Ones.

Lifestyle Photography for a Lifetime of Moments

www.Facebook.com/ZhangPhotography www.JayZhangPhotography.com JZPhotographicServices@gmail.com

39

EMMANUEL BAPTIST CHURCH Invites you to join us for the

Season of Advent As we celebrate the

The Canticles of Christmas

With the Songs of Zechariah, Mary, the Angels, and Simeon

Weekly Sunday Worship at 10:00 AM December 21, 2014

Christmas Reception following 10:00 AM Worship Christmas Concert by Choir at 12:30 PM

December 24, 2014

Christmas Eve Candlelight Worship 7:00 PM Emmanuel Baptist Church of Albany is a Welcoming and Affirming Baptist Congregation.

You are welcome here!

275 State Street, Albany, NY (518) 465-5161

Web: www.emmanuelalbany.net Email: emmanuelalbany@juno.com

40

Visitor Parking is available on State Street, or along the East side of our building (past the church). Enter through the side door or through the large double doors in front.

41

The Albany Gay Men’s Chorus Presents:

“Christmas Bells are Ringing”

Saturday, December 13. 2014 7:30pm First Congregational Church 405 Quail Street (off New Scotland Avenue) Albany, NY.

Adults: $12

Sunday, December 14, 2014 3pm First Reformed Church of Hudson 52 Green Street Hudson, NY.

Students: $9

Under 12: Free

A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network(GLSEN).

Advance discounted tickets are availible through the Pride Center of the Capital Region at www.capitalpridecenter.org, or -In Albany at Romeo’s Gifts, 299 Lark Street, or -In Hudson at The Spotty Dog Books and Ale, 440 Warren Street.

AGMC is an affiliate of The Pride Center of the Capital Region.

42

"(.$

Special Events

Tuesday 12/9 LGBTQA Professionals Networking Event

Join us for great food, good company and one of the best opportunities to make and build business connections in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and allied community!

This month’s event will take place at LAX on Lark Restaurant & Lounge.

Tuesday, Dec. 9 LAX on Lark Restaurant and Lounge 6-8 pm $10 Suggested Donation

Saturday 12/13 Frieda & Carmie’s Holiday Cabaret for Kids!

Spend an afternoon with your favorite family Drag Queens, Freida Munchon and Carmie Hope! Join us as we sing some of your favorite holiday tunes and get you and the family ready for the season! This is a holiday inclusive event that you want to miss!

All ages welcome.

Sunday 12/28 Supper Sunday

Join your friends and make some new ones while celebrating 2014 and looking forward to the new year at this great community meal that’s free and open to all!

Sunday, December 28 The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave, Albany 5-9 pm Free!

Tuesday, 1/6/15 LGBTQA Professionals Networking Event Join us for great food, good company and one of the best opportunities to make and build business connections in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and allied community!

The first networking event of 2015 come to Wolff ’s Biergarten in Schenectady!

Tuesday, Jan. 6, 2015 Wolff ’s Biergarten 165 Erie Blvd., Schenectady 6-8 pm $10 Suggested Donation

Monday 1/19/15 Gay Straight Alliance Network Brunch

Saturday December 13 Location: TBA 2-4 pm Free!

Let’s celebrate MLK Day by a coming together for a networking and skill building event for GSA faculty and student leaders throughout the Capital Region.

Monday 12/22 Exclusive Preview of The Imitation Game

FREE event for students & faculty!

Brunch included!

Monday, December 22 Spectrum 8 Theatres 290 Delaware Ave., Albany 7 pm $12 - a portion of proceeds will benefit the Pride Center

GET EVENT UPDATES:

Spectrum 8 Theatres present an exclusive premier screening of the new film The Imitation Game before RSVP to Youth Program Coordinator, James Shultis by Thursday, it opens to the public. A portion of ticket sales for this January 16th at 462-6138 or jshultis@capitalpridecenter.org. special event will be donated to the Pride Center.

Monday, Jan. 19, 2015 R Based on the real life story of legendary cryptanalyst The Pride Center N H B Alan Turing, the film portrays the nail-biting race 332 Hudson Ave. C U against time by Turing and his brilliant team of code- Albany, NY 12201 breakers at Britain’s top-secret 10 am -12 pm Government Code and Cypher Free School at Bletchley Park, during the darkest days of World War II.

43

44

45

WHAT IS #GIVINGTUESDAY? We have a day for giving thanks. We have two days for getting holiday deals. Now, we have #GivingTuesday, a global day dedicated to giving back. On Tuesday, December 2, 2014, people around the world will come together for one common purpose: to celebrate generosity and to give. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a simple idea!

So, just find a way for your family, your community, your company or your organization to come together to give something more to the Pride Center of the Capital Region. No matter how big or how small, that you give matters. It matters to thousands of LGBTQ community members across the Capital Region who benefit from the Pride Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s programs and services, services that affirm and empower.

GIVE ONLINE @ www.capitalpridecenter.org

DECEMBER 2

46

Like What You See?? Consider Giving a Gift.

The Pride Center of the Capital Region is the oldest gay and lesbian community center in the country and has grown to be the largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) multi-service agency in Upstate Like What You See?? Consider Giving a Gift.

NY.

Serving 10 Counties, the Pride Center is the only LGBTQ community center between Kingston and the Canadian The Pride Center of the Capital Region is the oldest gay and lesbian community center in the country and has Border.

ThebePride Center’s mission to promote the well-being of all(LGBTQ) gay, lesbian, bisexual, agency transgender and grown to the largest lesbian, gay,isbisexual, transgender and queer multi-service in Upstate NY. identified people and those affected by discrimination based on gender identity and expression. queer Serving 10 Counties, the Pride Center is the only LGBTQ community center between Kingston and the Canadian Because you, the Center’s Pride Center’s core programs willofcontinue to benefitbisexual, the LGBTQ and Capital Border. of The Pride mission is to promoteand theservices well-being all gay, lesbian, transgender and queer identified people and those affected by discrimination based on gender identity and expression.

Region community now and in the future. Our programs include the following: CENTER ARTS, CENTER FAMILIES,

BecauseSUPPORT of you, ,the PrideYOUTH, Center’s core programs and services willAND continue to benefit thePRIDE, LGBTQ Capital CENTER CENTER COMMUNITY OUTREACH, TRAINING EDUCATION, TRANS andand VINTAGE Region community now and in the future. Our programs include the following: CENTER ARTS, CENTER FAMILIES, PRIDE. Your gifts ,stay local, helping to serve OUTREACH, the LGBTQTRAINING community Albany, Columbia, Fulton, CENTER SUPPORT CENTER YOUTH, COMMUNITY ANDin EDUCATION, TRANS PRIDE, and Greene, VINTAGE PRIDE. Your Rensselaer, gifts stay local, helping to serve the LGBTQ Albany, Montgomery, Saratoga, Schenectady, Warren and community WashingtoninCounties.

Montgomery, Rensselaer, Saratoga, Schenectady, Warren and Washington Counties.

Columbia, Fulton, Greene,

Tear Out - Pledge Form Mail to: 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, NY 12210 Tear Out - Pledge Form Have Questions or Need Additional Information? Call: (518) 462 - 6138

Mail to: 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, NY 12210 I will fulfill my gift in the following manner: Have Questions or Need Additional Information? Call: (518) 462 - 6138

To help the Pride Center of the Capital Region

I want to make a __ one time __ monthly gift of:

______Check made payable to the Pride Center of the Capital Region

To□$10 help□$25 the Pride the Capital □$50Center □$75 of □$100 □$250Region

I ________ will fulfill my MasterCard gift in the following manner: ______ Visa

I want to make a __ one time __ monthly gift of:

Card # __________________________________________Exp. ____/____ ______Check made payable to the Pride Center of the Capital Region

□$500 □$1000 □Other $___________

_______

Amex

This gift

□$10 □$100 MasterCard Visa________________________________ _______ Amex is: □$25 □$50 ___In□$75 Memory of □$250 ___In Honor of ________ CVV _________ ______ Signature □$500 □$1000 □Other $___________ Honoree _______________________________ Other Ways To Give to the Pride Center: Card # __________________________________________Exp. ____/____ Please give us your name and address below: Donate Online: www.capitalpridecenter.org This gift Name is: Street

___In Memory of ___In Honor of

Honoree _______________________________ City

State

Zip

Workplace Giving: SEFA, UNITED WAY, Northern New England CFC

CVV

_________ Signature ________________________________

Matching Gifts: Check with your employer regarding matching gifts & please applyWays to have Other Toyour Givegifttomatched. the Pride Center: Planned Giving: Thinking about leaving a lasting impact on the Pride Center

Please give us your name and address below:

Donate Online:Region www.capitalpridecenter.org of the Capital through your will and estate plans? Please contact us

Name

Workplace Giving: SEFA, UNITED WAY, Northern New England CFC

Phone (____)

Street

_____-__________________

at 518-462-6138.

Email ____________________________________________________

Matching Gifts: Check with your employer regarding matching gifts & please 47 apply to have your gift matched.

NON-PROFIT US POSTAGE

P AID PERMIT #798 ALBANY, NY

332 Hudson Avenue Albany, NY 12210

Distinguished Living...Successful Living...Gay Living Tri City Rentals is a Proud Supporter of the LGBT Community

Visit one of our 24 Fine Capital District Apartment Communities

www.TriCityRentals.com

518.862.6600