CommUNITY Magazine (vol. 2 iss 6) Non-traditional Relationships plus Feminism

Congratulations to the 2014 Award Recipients: Eric Snyder, Volunteer of the Year Award Scott Levine, Community Service Award Price Chopper, Business of the Year Award Jerry Jennings, Peter Drago Leadership in Government Award David Rozen, Paul Postiglione Youth Services Award Kathryn Zox, Nancy Burton Straight But Not Narrow Award Bryan LaVigne, Community Center Award Ulysses de Armas, Libby Post Council Leadership Award Barbara Smith, Harvey Milk Award The Pride Center Gala |Friday, October 24, 2014 |Hilton Albany Join the Honorary Committee & Purchase Tickets at www.capitalpridecenter.org or call the Pride Center (518) 462-6138

August 2014 Volume 2, Issue 6 CONTENTS FEATURES Genderf*ck

SHORT CIRCUITS IN THE POWER EXCHANGE Drew Cordes by

pg. 6

Perhaps the most dangerous aspect of kink, BDSM and power exchange is the illusion of safety. Eventually, everyone who plays the way we play finds out this is not the case.

Sometimes, we learn it the hard way.

NEWS AND UPDATES Case Management Services at the Pride Center Celebrates 2nd Birthday! pg. 13 Your Spouse May Be Covered by Social Security by Elizabeth Pivonka & Lauren Ford pg. 17 The Plan to “Bend The Curve” - News from the AIDS Institute pg. 17 Summer’s Not Over Yet, Don’t Forget To Gear Up for the Fall! by Alison Horgan pg. 27 More news and updates online: www.capitalpridecenter.org/news-events

35 Years of Feminisit Social Justice in the Capital Region HOLDING OUR OWN pg. 14

10 Tips for Responsible Non-Monogamy by Lyndon Cudlitz pg. 5 THE STATE OF LGBT TOURSIM New Love for New York State by Schyuler Bull pg. 10

Discrimination in the name of god pisses me off! by

Larry Stefle pg.15

Capital PRIDE Festival in photos pg. 21

COLUMNS

Spe ia Trans View The Policy Issue: We Did Pretty Good This Year! by Moonhawk River Stone pg. 18 l Evenc ts & The Fashionable and the Frivolous When The Heat is On (And In Your Pants) by Alan Bennett Ilagan pg. 8 CCoamm unity le nd Gay Man’s Musings Why Every Gay Man Should Be a Feminist by Nyvek Moshier pg. 8 pgs. 29-3a4 rs Out in the Garden Workout by Judith Fetterly pg. 26 Here’s Guffman Good News by Patrick White pg. 27 Michael Cooks and You Can Too Summer Sparklers by Michael Meade pg. 35 Money Matters Buck Tradition. Be an Innovator by Thomas J. Walling CFP pg. 25 Ask Mark Your Task Questions by Mark D. Witecki, CPA, CFP, CFE pg. 24 To Be a Blessing Finding Me by Mayleen Medina pg. 36 Vintage Pride: Who We Are! Maggie Morrison - Be Honest, Be Fair and Tastefully Take a Stand interviewed by Chuck Zimmerman pg. 28

Director’s Note by Curran Streett | From the Editor’s Desk by Michael Weidrich pg. 4

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DIRECTOR’S NOTE

What a summer we have had! Between an overwhelmingly successful Vintage Pride cruise along the Hudson, a surprise appearance by Melissa Etheridge at Pride, awarding 4 remarkable young people a scholarship to

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C u rran Streett, Executive Di rector

send them off to College and great ongoing programs and events at the Center almost every day of the week- I feel so lucky to be a part of it all.

While the political landscape always keeps us on our toes and stories of violence, bigotry and even homicide directed at our community is heartbreaking, it reminds us of all we have left to do. Over a year after marriage equality became a reality in New York, I still get questions like “Well now that we have marriage, what is left? You can close your doors right?” Honestly, I look forward to the day when our services are truly

FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK

I am a fan of Wonder Woman. Have been almost my whole life. I was introduced to the Amazon Princess on television, when the live action TV show debuted.

Lynda Carter leapt onto into our living rooms and into my heart. I fell in love with her instantly. Fighting for her rights, in her satin tights, and the old red, white, and blue.

As many gay boys did in the day, I dressed up like her with my tin foil bracelets and belt and a little rope as my golden lasso. When my little sister was big enough, I dressed her up like Wonder Girl and we fought evil together. (Ironically, my mother is from an island paradise and came to the United States because of an American serviceman. ) Wonder Woman became a symbol to me of femininity and strength, a warrior and an

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ambassador of peace, a volunteer and a fighter, intelligence and brawn, and an amazing sense of fashion. As I started reading her comic book and watching the Super Friends, I saw how she was an equal amongst her male counterpart super heroes, Superman and Batman. In a landscape of all male characters, she stood above them all as the preeminent female superhero for decades.

As I got older and started reading more about the Women’s Movement and feminism, I came to understand just exactly how much of a feminist icon Wonder Woman was. Gloria Steinem made DC Comics return Wonder Woman to her feminist roots and put her on the cover of the first issue of Ms. Magazine. As per her secret origin, Wonder Woman a/k/a Princess Diana was crafted from clay by her mother Queen Hippolyta and brought to life by the Greek goddesses, who endowed her with amazing powers beyond mere mortal men. She lived in peace and harmony on Paradise Island with her Amazon sisters and her mother, the Queen. No man had set foot

unneeded in the community, when creating a corner of the world just ours is obsolete, but we are far from that reality. In truth, I find that we are as vital today as the day the Center doors first opened in 1970. While we have much to celebrate, we also have much to do and can use all the help we can get. Please join us in making our community even more vibrant and supported, either at the AIDS Walk on September 27th or at our Gala on October 24th. I hope you will join us in counting our successes and setting ourselves up for even more!

Mic hael Weid r ic h on their island until Major Steve Trevor crashed landed.

A contest was held to select an emissary of peace to return Trevor to “Man’s World”. Diana, in disguise, entered the competition and won, thus becoming Wonder Woman.

Until recently, that was Wonder Woman’s origin. This tale has lasted for over 70 years, reinforcing the feminine sensibility of the character. That is until DC Comics rebooted the character and made Zeus her father, having had an affair with Hippolyta. No longer was she endowed with the powers of the Goddess, but of the male god Zeus. For me, that was a betrayal of the character and flushed 75 years of her-story down the drain. In a recent interview with the new artist of the Wonder Woman comic book David Finch, he was quoted as saying he didn’t want to view the character as a feminist. This comment drew tremendous criticism and he later back pedaled and “clarified” his comment. It still rang hollow for me and continued my annoyance with DC Comics and their de-feminization of a feminist icon.

We want to hear from our Community!

Letters to the Editor may be sent to Michael Weidrich at mweidrich@capitalpridecenter.org Letters must be 100 words or less and must include name, phone, email.

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10 TIPS FOR RESPONSIBLE NON-MONOGAMY

Lyndon Cudlitz, Training & Education Manager

Remember, there is no one true/best way There are so many ways for non-monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory to look. Even individuals in the same relationship may have different ideas of how non-monogamy works best for them, but can come to a common definition for the connection they share. Explore options and possibilities to find what suits you best!

Discuss your definitions Words like “dating” or “sex” can mean different things to different people. When discussing boundaries, needs, desires, and hopes for the future, figure out what each person’s definition is. This can help avoid boundary violations, and you’ll get to know each other better.

Make agreements and set boundaries Know your own limits and respect those of other people. Some people are okay hearing the juicy details of another date, some people can only be “out” about one relationship on Facebook, etc. Many relationships find it helpful to write these agreements out for reference. Periodically revisit agreements to check-in and re-evaluate.

Be honest about your availability and priorities Giving enough time and energy to meet your partner(s) needs and your needs is something that can require constant attention and re-evaluation. Discuss what each person needs to balance all aspects of their lives, including self-care.

Sharing Google Calendars has been an effective time management tools for many non-monogamous relationships!

Communicate Communicate Communicate Non-monogamy can often require even more nuanced and intentional communication because there are more people’s needs, desire, and feelings to consider. Check in with you partner(s) from time to time. Listen as much as you share. Be honest about your feelings and needs, and create the kind of environment where others can do the same.

Strive to make all your partners feel validated Even if you have a “primary/secondary/etc” model, all partner(s) deserve respect and care. Just because you may not choose to devote the most time or energy to a “secondary partner,” doesn’t mean they should be treated as less-than.

Avoid creating situations in which partners are competing for your affections.

Exercise Compersion (Yes, it’s a word. Google it.)

We feel happy for partner(s) when they connect with new friends, experience personal growth, etc, right? Explore what it means to share in your partner(s)’ happiness, wherever that comes from (even if you’re also experiencing feelings of jealousy). When people are happy and healthy, we are better situated to contribute positively to our relationships.

Hold each other accountable Our best friendships and relationships are with people who can support us AND hold us accountable. If you notice a partner is acting unfair, or even unhealthy, in how they are talking about or behaving in another connection, express your concerns. In the end, your compassion better serves everyone involved.

Learn how to apologize and to forgive We all make mistakes. Holding ourselves accountable to our missteps, apologizing, and demonstrating a change can go a long way. So can learning forgiveness – for ourselves, for our partner(s), and for our partner(s)’ partner(s).

In short, be kind to others and to yourself.

Have other outlets Our non-romantic and non-sexual relationships are important to maintain, as well. Besides, processing relationship issues may be best done with friends, counselors, etc, instead of with another partner. Remember the importance of your self-care and alone time, as well. Being a balanced and healthier you, benefits your relationship(s), too!

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GENDERF*CK

SHORT CIRCUITS IN THE POWER EXCHANGE by

Thanks to carefully considered awareness, education and social campaigns by experienced practitioners and educators (as well as the misguided, incredibly naive, anti-feminist, barely literate trilogy of a certain British “author” who shall not be named), kink and BDSM relationships have crept into greater cultural awareness in the past few years.

Many of us are aware of the basic guidelines and operations of relationship dynamics based around the consensual yielding and wielding of power - negotiate and respect limits, use safewords, strive for self-awareness, communicate with your partner openly and honestly, be safe, sane and consensual... All good things.

It’s not that simple, though, is it? It never is.

Because the guidelines listed above are so stressed and repeated in kink communities and in kinksters’ practices, there’s a tendency for us to believe that our relationships are less prone to confusion and emotional or physical abuse. This is a dangerous assumption.

Online & in Private Abuse, or rather the capacity for abuse, is most identifiable in online kink circles. Let’s acknowledge this right off the bat: A large percentage of kink relationships form through the Internet, maybe even a greater percentage than vanilla relationships. (I have no proof or statistics for this, just the rationale that our numbers are fewer and we’re not easily recognizable out in the physical world, so our niche naturally turns to the net to find one another.)

Anyone on Fetlife or any other kink

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Drew Cordes

websites who discounts the staggering amount of sketchy folks and predators who clog our inboxes every day is turning a blind eye to vast numbers who gladly and repeatedly use the premise of power exchange for abusive personal gain and satisfaction. They may be idiots, but that doesn’t mean they’re harmless, and that doesn’t mean no one ever falls for it.

Let’s stop claiming that the power dynamics in our relationships allocate more or less fundamental responsibility for each other’s well-being to one or the other partner.

Most people with a decent head on their shoulders won’t be taken in by guileless assholes with transparent, destructive desires, and I don’t think online dating is inherently a dangerous practice, but kinky or not, my custom word of warning to anyone doing their dating online is: It’s easy to be charming on the Internet.

Additionally, many of those “onlineonly” folks, as well as a lot of other kinksters will say they just don’t prefer to be “in the scene.” They keep their interests private. The scene - full of munches, discussion groups, parties, conferences - is highly structured and has a wealth of education and oversight available from fellow experienced members. It is, obviously, harder to take advantage of someone when you’re surrounded by other people

(though it does still occur).

This doesn’t necessarily mean all those who prefer to keep things private are hiding abusive tendencies. Lots of people who keep kink private are incredibly experienced, knowledgeable and considerate; often the desire for privacy is because of a sensitive or public profession, or just the conviction that sex or play is a personal, private thing (weird, right?). Moreover, this preference does not necessarily make them more likely to err than those who are active in the community, but it does mean that some of the natural safe guards and learning opportunities that arise just from being in the community will be absent.

The Illusion of Control Those 101, common-sense advisories out of the way, let’s shine a light on some of the more insidious ways consensual power exchange malfunctions - even between knowledgeable, affectionate partners.

Perhaps the most dangerous aspect of kink, BDSM and power exchange is the illusion of safety. Negotiation of physical limitations and emotional boundaries that should not be crossed during play gives both (or all) players the impression that as long as you play within those lines, everything will be fine. Eventually, everyone who plays the way we play finds out this is not the case. Sometimes, we learn it the hard way.

It is impossible to negotiate everything - there will always be the unforeseen, the forgotten, the honest mistake, a slip of the tongue, the misplaced selfassurances of “I can handle it.” We are going to screw up sometimes. If this

is the way we’re going to play, we better accept that and prepare ourselves to deal with the fallout of when things go wrong. Because they will. Hopefully not often. Hopefully not in a terribly damaging way. But part of preparing for play is preparing to deal with and accept responsibility for missteps.

When things do take a wrong turn, we have safewords in place for our protection, but that is no failsafe. There is a common misconception that even though the submissive partner relinquishes themselves to the dominant partner, the sub still retains the ultimate power to stop everything via the safeword.

However, this notion puts an unfair burden on the sub to always recognize and object if something isn’t working.

Is it really wise or fair to place the ultimate responsibility of judgment with someone whose adrenaline, endorphins and hormones are positively raging, who’s experiencing extreme states of pain and pleasure? Who could keep their wits perfectly about them in such a state? Furthermore, there are times when subs are out of sorts, even nonverbal and can’t safeword.

There may be times when a sub is flying high and wants more, more, more, regardless of consequences. The dom has to take responsibility in these situations. Perhaps its best to err on the side of caution.

Afterward, the sub may gain some clarity on what they felt during play. They may express regret or feel genuinely hurt, and placing the onus entirely on the sub allows a boundary-pushing dom the excuse of saying, “Well, you didn’t safeword,” or “You didn’t let me know,” thus shirking any responsibility, disrespecting the partner’s feelings, and refusing to recognize a misstep and learn from it for future practice. It’s unrealistic to expect a sub to never regret or feel differently about an experience after its over. That’s when words like “communication” and “respect” take on their true meaning, and test who’s using them as buzzwords and who’s really devoted to their principles. Instead of becoming defensive and pushing blame, we have to honor each other’s feelings of dissonance or violation, and work through them together.

In turn, a sub or bottom should not expect their dominant partner always will

make the right decision, either. One doesn’t have to hang around the scene for very long or participate in many group discussions to hear the familiar refrain of “I’m not a mind-reader,” from doms and tops. Relinquishing power does not mean relinquishing responsibility for oneself. One may call their partner “master,” but we’re all still human. We all need help, guidance, and forgiveness for honest, repented mistakes - masters included.

This does not just stop at sex or play; expecting the dominant partner in 24/7 power exchange to bear the yoke of life decisions for both people is a heavy, heavy burden. Even those who identify as slaves cannot entirely surrender their agency. Decisions such as physical and mental health, career path, familial relations... these are deeply personal, complex issues that cannot just be dumped off on someone else. It is unfair to both parties. Furthermore, the long-term relinquishing of these issues might leave a submissive partner feeling genuinely disempowered and destitute should the relationship end.

One doesn’t have to hang around the scene for very long or participate in many group discussions to hear the familiar refrain of “I’m not a mind-reader,” from doms and tops.

Relinquishing power does not mean relinquishing responsibility for oneself.

Even those who are certain theirs is a lifetime commitment will still face serious illness and death at some point, and when those things happen, the partner who has willingly parted with their power for years and years better be ready, willing and able to shoulder that yoke of responsibility again - for themselves and perhaps for a now-incapacitated dominant partner as well.

Surrender power, surrender decisions but do not surrender your life, and do not surrender your judgment.

An Equal Foundation Let’s stop claiming that the power dy-

namics in our relationships allocate more or less fundamental responsibility for each other’s well-being to one or the other partner. To use an architectural metaphor: We consciously erect, engage and play with the structures of power, yes, but the foundations on which we build those structures must always be equal and level, just as they must be in healthy vanilla relationships.

The ways in which dom and sub, master and slave, tops and bottoms (etc.) must take responsibility for each other’s wellbeing is certainly different than the ways a vanilla couple must, but make no mistake, the duty to do so still must be a shared and equal effort. Falling prey to the romanticized illusion of total power exchange, of an unbalanced foundation is when people get hurt, slowly marginalized, disenfranchised.

Let’s stop claiming the negotiation/ communication processes in our relationships automatically translates to everyone’s needs and desires always being honored. Let’s stop claiming the nature of power exchange results in fewer (or greater) instances of abuse than the general population. Let’s see some real statistics first. Until then, clinging to this claim discourages, however subtly, victims from stepping forward, and transgressors from recognizing their actions.

To pretend what we do is always safe and sane is naive. There will always be mistakes.

Rather what we should do, all parties, is forge a contract before we play, before we yield and wield -- one that recognizes: Shit happens. We will do our absolute best to respect each other, our limits, our safewords ... There is no promise of 100 percent certainty that one of us won’t fuck up, or that we won’t veer into some dark, unpleasant territory; but we can promise that if someone starts to fall, the other will not hesitate to dive down after them. If it gets ugly, emotional, painful, we won’t leave until we make it right -- or as close to right as it can be. We’re in this together.

Albany resident Drew Cordes identifies as queer, trans*, and genderqueer, and is a part of the trans* social group Transgender Advocates of the Capital Region.

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GAY MAN’S MUSINGS

by

Nyvek Moshier

Why Every Gay Man Should Be A Feminist:

Nyvek is a local college student who has been volunteering with the Pride Center since 2008. It was Nyvek’s passion for weddings that first got him involved in the fight for marriage equality and the community as a whole.

In general, few people likely think of a man when they picture a Feminist in their mind. It is likely that even fewer think of a gay man. While I have many close women in my life, and have supported legislation promoting equality among the sexes, I have also never considered myself a Feminist.

My last semester in college changed everything when I took a Gender Studies & Women’s History class.

As my classes delve deep into the long history of sexism faced by women, I could not help but make connections to the homophobia gay men have experienced over the years and continue to experience today. Many of the stereotypes faced by gay men are directly connected to the perceived role women play in our society from birth. I think

the best example of this lies in one question that drives most gay men, and many lesbians, insane.

Every time a gay man is called queeny, women are also being insulted.

If you are in, or have ever been in, a same-sex relationship you have undoubtedly been asked “WHO IS THE MAN AND WHO IS THE WOMAN?” Whether directed at a gay man or a lesbian, this question is most likely asked with the belief that the one who is feminine, submissive, the housekeeper and ultimately penetrated is the woman in the relationship. This question is rooted in decades of sexism and a deeply held belief that a woman’s place is in the home and always beneath a man.

T H E F A S HI ONABLE AND T H E F RIVOLOUS

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Alan Bennett Ilagan created the website www.ALANILAGAN.com, which contains a repository of his work, as well as a daily blog; the website recently celebrated its tenth anniversary online. He was the manager of the Romaine Brooks Gallery from 2008 to 2012. His writing has appeared in Instinct, xy magazine, Capitalmen, Q Northeast, the Windy City Times, and the Boston Phoenix..

For events where a Speedo or a bikini would be out of place (and in upstate New York, that’s pretty much everything

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Now this also works in reverse when it comes to the lesbian community.

Many “BUTCH” lesbians are stripped of their womanhood by society’s belief that there is only one way to truly be a woman. Our culture teaches us that a true woman is soft, emotional, delicate, and always in need of a man to protect her virtue.

Through my education I have come to the conclusion that perhaps the only true way to defeat homophobia is to take on sexism first. I am proud to say that I stand by my sisters (lesbian, bi, trans and undefined) in the face of unrelenting sexism. I am proud to call myself a GAY MALE FEMINIST.

Al an Bennet Il agan

When The Heat is On (And In Your Pants)

The scene is seasonally idealistic and idyllic: an expansive lawn party where the ladies are dressed effortlessly in flowing silk and the gentlemen are comfortably housed in seer-sucker and linen. Not a drop of perspiration is to be seen on the forehead or temples, a light breeze is blowing, and it feels as if any moment that guy from the Polo ads is going to race across the grass on his majestic steed. In reality, that scene is filled with ladies desperately fanning themselves while praying their hair doesn’t explode from the humidity, and gentlemen who unceremoniously wipe sweat from their faces while pulling their wet shirts away from their soaking backs. This is summer in the Northeast, a hot and humid affair that wreaks havoc with the coolest duds.

Every time a gay man is called a sissy, flamboyant, queeny, emotional or bitchy; women everywhere are also being insulted. These insults are based in the belief that femininity, and what society has chosen to believe defines it, is inherently less worthy of respect than masculinity.

other than Gay Pride) it’s helpful to have some options for staying cool when the temperature and the humidity creep ever skyward. Particularly at stuffier events like weddings, looking hot when the heat is on is no easy feat, but there are ways to do so without turning into a post-mortem Frosty the Snowman.

Looking hot is no easy feat without turning into a postmortem Frosty the Snowman!

Fabric and cut are the primary weapons of combat against the helter-swelter of the summer, and going natural is a good way to begin. Cotton and other fibers that occur naturally breathe much better than synthetic fabrics. Even a light-weight wool is sometimes better than a cheap polyester or acrylic, which tend to trap heat (though recent advances in fabric technology have produced breathable polyesters – I still won’t risk it).

Don’t discount the power inherent in color when aiming to stay cool. Darker colors will absorb heat much faster than brighter colors, which tend to reflect light rather than turning it into heat. If you can’t handle the harshness of bright white, try for a cream or light beige. Anything is better than a navy or black, especially if sitting in the sun for any length of time.

The toughest situations, for both men and women alike, are when suits are required, either for work or more formal events like weddings. Notoriously unforgiving in hot weather, suits are a necessary evil of the season, though there are unstructured cuts and unlined versions that cut out on some of the heat-seeking aspects, and since we’re on the subject of cut and fit, looser doesn’t necessarily mean cooler.

In fact, excess folds of cloth do nothing but trap heat (and give the appearance of bloating). Tighter clothing, particularly in underwear and undershirts, will wick moisture away from the body, cooling the skin in faster fashion.

When all else fails, loosen the tie, undo a few buttons, and let the sweat reactivate your hair product. It’s summer, the living its easy, and the fashion rules bend in the heat. A smile and an easy-going attitude remain the most important parts of any outfit.

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THE STATE OF LGBT TOURISM Schyuler Bull, Director of Marketing, Albany County Convention & Visitor’s Bureau by

In June, I had the opportunity to volunteer at the I Love New York booth at the Capital Pride Festival. You may have seen me handing out buttons or stickers with the iconic I NY logo, only these featured the new Rainbow Heart design, part of the LGBT initiative launched last year by Governor Cuomo.

As the champion of the legalization of same sex marriage in New York State, Cuomo proved early on in his term that he is a strong ally for the LGBT population, which goes hand in hand with his commitment to increase tourism throughout the state. The tide is changing: the need to remain inclusive is more important now than ever before and brands are becoming increasingly aware of this.

When Cheerios released their television advertisement featuring a multiracial family, they opened the door to an important conversation surrounding America’s modern family. Other organizations soon followed suit.

Specific to the LGBT population, companies such as Hilton, the WNBA, Honey Maid and even Oreo have taken a bold approach to marketing themselves as inclusive brands. Despite some kickback, the campaigns have been wildly successful proving that the average straight customer won’t be alienated by an ad targeting the gay community.

household an average of $920 in taxes. If New York attracts more visitors the tax savings per household will increase and more tourism-related jobs will be available to residents.

Here in the Capital-Saratoga Region, tourism is a more than $1.75 billion industry that supports more than 33,000 jobs. Albany County represents more than half of traveler spending in the sixcounty region. In other words, tourism is an important local economic driver and we need to do what we can to help increase tourism and build a culture of hospitality.

With New York State ranking second to California for highest concentrations of same-sex households, and with each same-sex household earning an average of $85,000 per year, there is a considerable opportunity to capture more tourism spending and tax savings from LGBT travel in New York State and in Albany County. Given Albany’s 400 year history, our beautiful architecture, wonderful attractions, and fun events, Albany is outstanding travel destination for many visitors.

So why should New York jump on the bandwagon?

Working with partners such as I Love New York and the Pride Center, the Albany County Convention & Visitors Bureau has been working to do just that, but an effort such as this doesn’t happen overnight. In order to remain successful, we need buy-in from community leaders, business owners, and our neighbors. Let’s all make a commitment to doing our part to make Albany an LGBT-friendly tourist destination, be it through volunteering on a committee, participating in a business alliance, or handing out buttons and stickers at Pride.

According to a recent report released by Tourism Economics, traveler spending in New York State grew 3.5% in 2013, finally surpassing pre-recession levels.

This spending supports one out of every twelve jobs in the state and saves each

Schuyler is the Director of Marketing at the Albany County Convention & Visitors Bureau and is also an adjunct instructor of business at The College of Saint Rose. He also volunteers on a number of community boards and committees including the Pride Center’s Marketing & Communications Advisory Committee.

In addition, cities such as Chicago, Philadelphia, and Atlantic City are also driving initiatives to market themselves as safe and fun destinations for LGBT travelers.

Not only are they marketing their attractions and accommodations, but same sex weddings and conventions aimed at the LGBT consumer are also an emerging market that are showing huge dividends.

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Residents, business leaders, community partners, and public figures work together to support the gay and lesbian community, as evidenced by these statistics: The Capital District Gay & Lesbian Community Council/ Pride Center was the first gay and lesbian community center in the country, and Albany was home to one of the earliest Transgender groups dating back to the 1950s.

Albany scored a 95% on the Human Rights Campaign’s first ever Municipality Equality Index (MEI). The MEI rates cities based on 47 criteria falling under six broad categories: non-discrimination laws; relationship recognition; the municipality’s employment practices; inclusiveness of city services; law enforcement; and municipal leadership.

An analysis from the Urban Institute using data from the 2000 U.S. Census gave Albany a Gay Index of 166. This indicates that Albany’s Gay and Lesbian population ranks 66% above the national average of 100.

The information for this study was self-reported by those wishing to identify as a same-sex household.

The Huffington Post recently reported that Albany was the 7th most LGBT-friendly city in the United States, as ranked by Vocativ’s Queer Index.

Learn more about the Albany County Convention & Visitors Bureau’s LGBT initiative at www.albany.org/lgbt.

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The Affordable Care Act has made significant changes that benefit YOU. For more info on how to enroll, please contact: programs@capitalpridecenter.org

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BECOMING AN ADVOCATE by

By the age of twelve, there were tell tale signs that I was far from straight.

My natural tendencies to silently fawn over and idolize women, as opposed to men, probably should have clued me in on the fact that being straight was not in my future. Needless to say, I felt different, an outcast, even ostracized at some points. It wasn’t until the seventh grade that the possibility of being gay slowly crept into my mind. That same year, coincidentally, I befriended a very gay, very out young man who no matter what, did not waver in his beliefs or who he truly was. He listened patiently as I discussed the internal struggle I was dealing with regarding my sexuality and offered guidance when I asked. Above all else, he refused to let anyone knock him down, and that action of his steadfast strength led me to the Center Youth Action Team.

The Center Youth Action Team is about educating, advocating and ultimately gives a voice to youth within the community and ally’s. For me, it gave me a chance to help others. As cliché as that

Annina Van Riper

may sound, one of the core reasons I joined the team was to have an opportunity to spread a positive message; one that promoted self confidence, resilience and community. I made it my goal to get through to at least one person, showing them that it truly does get better.

time constraints of each meeting, saying everything I wanted to would be next to impossible. So instead, I listened. Honestly, I think that is just as important, if not more. By listening I felt I developed a better understanding of what was really going on outside my own bubble.

I made it my goal to get through to at least one person, showing them that it truly does get better.

Throughout my time on the team, I have been fortunate enough to work with and interact with some really incredible people. These people have such a genuine sense of community, helping others, and truly understanding what it means to be an advocate. The word that comes to mind is gratitude. Over the years, I’ve procured this sense of appreciation, one that hones in on the fact that I’ve managed to foster relationships with people that work toward a common goal of education and empowerment. A goal that teaches people not just how to tolerate, but to accept and love.

One facet of the team that intrigued me was hearing the voices of others. Going around to schools especially opened my eyes to what was going on in other schools in regards to the LGBTQ atmosphere. I consider myself quite lucky to have had the experience I had coming out, but also realize that not everyone had such an accepting and easy time. Again, this is where I wanted to spread the message of inclusion and positivity. I wanted to bring everything full circle and help others in the way that my friend helped me. I quickly learned that within the

Annina is a Member of the Center Youth Action Team and student at Bethlehem Central High School

CASE MANAGEMENT SERVICES AT THE PRIDE CENTER CELEBRATES 2ND BIRTHDAY!

Lauren Ford, LMSW LGBT Health Specialist

Last month Case Management my GED,” or “I need to find stable hous- competent providers and advocating for Services, a component of the Center ing,” or “I need to change my legal name,” trans and gender non-conforming people Support Program, celebrated two years and working side by side with our clients navigating systems that are not always of providing advocacy and service coor- to make those goals a reality. In the past willing or prepared to meet their needs. dination for health and human services. two years we’ve worked with folks from We work in conjunction with the Pride Center Support has seen a great deal of ages 12 to 85, from a wide variety of back- Center’s Training and Education Services expansion during the past two years and grounds and circumstances. Many of our program to create lasting change with we are now providing direct services to clients have faced discrimination at the health and human service providers and over five times as many clients per month intersections of race, class, ability, men- agencies. than in the first half of 2012. With Center tal health, sexual orientation and gender Support Counseling, Case Management identity. All clients enter Case Manage- Case Management Services is free for Services, Healthcare Enrollment, HIV ment Services voluntarily, and each of youth up to age 21 and operates on a lowTesting and LGBTQ Friendly Resources our clients brings their own strengths to cost sliding scale for adults. No one is turned away due to ability to pay for serand Referrals –we offer a wide array of their work with the program. vices. services to fit the needs of our commuCase Management Services remains nity. the only trans-specific case manageFor more information about Case Management Services or to The big goal of Case Management Ser- ment program in the Capital Region. request an appointment, please call vices is to promote the health and wellbe- Our trans-specific services include as518.462.6138x12 or email: ing for LGBTQ people by reducing bar- sistance with legal name changes and riers to health and human services. We gender marker updates for all identity casemanagementservices@capitalpridecenter.org accomplish this by helping our clients set documents, as well as connecting trans individualized goals such as “I want to get and gender non-conforming clients to % of clients identify along the trans* spectrum % of clients self-identify as people of color % of clients self-identify as living in poverty

The most common supports required by clients:

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HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICE PROVIDER REFERALS ONE-ON-ONE ADVOCACY HOUSING SNAP/HEAP

Name Change GENDER MARKER UPDATES Employment & Education Referrals

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Since 1982, Holding Our Own, Inc. (HOO) has been tirelessly working to advance feminist social justice in the Capital Region. What that has meant for the foundation over its 35-plus years is funding a range of projects and initiatives that typically would be rejected or overlooked by more mainstream funders, and projects geared towards changing systems, rather than only providing services. Current Board President, Sarah Podber, and immediate past Board President (and current board member), Nadya Lawson, emphasize that the connecting thread through all HOO’s undertakings is a steadfast commitment to a truly intersectional feminism.

Podber explains, “Recently a friend and HOO supporter kind of perfectly summed up HOO’s work as radical, queer, anti-racist feminist work that enacts a concept of justice that centers marginalized women, poor people, queer people, and families of every sort. And really, whether it’s candidate forums, granting-making, skill-shares, community dialogues or even just our board composition and internal decision-making, that’s what’s at the center of everything we do as an organization.”

“And also we try to be a place where people can be all of themselves – where folks don’t have to leave behind or prioritize any one of their identities.

But we don’t try to be all things to all people. We are unabashedly about challenging and eliminating oppression in all its forms – which means not always being in agreement with allied organizations,” adds Lawson.

Holding Our Own was established as the women’s foundation of the Capital Region to advance grassroots feminist social and economic justice. As a multiracial, multicultural foundation led by majority women of color and majority lesbian and bisexual women, HOO occupies a unique position among New York’s Capital Region’s philanthropic, advocacy, and social justice organizations.

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“Our positioning helps us form a bridge linking many directions: connecting the various communities of color, the philanthropic community and social justice work; between heterosexual and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities; and between predominantly white led and predominantly people of color led organizations,” says HOO executive Director, Carmen Rau. During its three decades in existence, HOO has issued nearly a million dollars in grants and loans to grassroots feminist social justice initiatives, including over 25 years of being the silent fiscal sponsor of the Women’s Building, one of only a few remaining stand-alone women-run and womenowned feminist community centers in the US. However, over the past few years the organization has been focusing on operating the Women’s Building, as well as fostering the development of non-monetary resources and infrastructure for feminist social justice work.

“Social Justice Philanthropy will remain a part of what we do, through both donor-directed grants like The Sanctuary Fund, which finances security deposits to women and families in our community who find they need to leave their homes without notice and who do not have access to other sources of support, and through a small grant cycle we’ve committed to doing this fiscal year to once again fund grassroots feminist projects,” says Podber.

“But we see a need to go beyond funding and to take a more active approach and engage in multiple strategies in creating the feminist future we want to see,” explains Rau. In recent years, those multiple approaches have included quarterly networking events to provide space for local feminist advocates and activists from a broad spectrum of community organizations, grassroots movements, local universities, and non-profits to connect and collaborate, plan skill-shares, and leverage resources; skill-shares on topics such as selfdefense and facilitation; the upstart

of She Breathes, a communitybased feminist blog; and a range of community dialogues and discussions, such as the Feminism, Politics, and Power: Changing the Dialogue series (which included two candidate forums) aimed at injecting feminism with an economic and racial justice focus into local electoral politics and the Towards Eliminating the Wedge: A Conversation on Prison Justice and Gender-based Violence series co-developed with the Albany Social Justice Center and set to continue this fall.

“These projects – the network, the forums, dialogues, etc. – really speak to HOO’s role in holding space for both the building of feminist community and for having the difficult social justice dialogues that are often overlooked and need to be happening, and to our ability to bridge various communities, issues, and activist camps,” says Lawson.

Rau says that in all HOO’s recent projects, she is excited to have seen an influx of young feminist involvement.

“We’ve been seeing a real growth of feminists in their 20s and 30s involved in our work in a way that’s not displacing older generations of feminists, but has started to instead create this great intergenerational network.”

Right now the organization is busy organizing its fall and winter programming, which, amongst other projects, will include a network retreat, a continuation of the Towards Eliminating the Wedge series, and a collaboration with The Pride Center to bring to Albany a performance of The Naked I: Insides Out, which explores queer and trans* experiences through monologues, short scenes, and spoken word poems. HOO will also be hosting the annual Women’s Building Picnic on August 30th at Lyons Lake, and Rau encourages folks interested in HOO’s work to join them for the picnic. “Besides the surroundings, the true beauty of the picnic is seeing people from really different segments of our community coming together -- different generations of activists, different histories, different demographics. You can see the connections we’ve made.”

DISCRIMINATION IN THE NAME OF GOD PISSES ME OFF! by

During the course of my life I have met many LGBT folks, like myself, who were turned off to organized religion after being told repeatedly that we were abominations. Over the last thirty years I’ve learned the difference between organized religion and spirituality and have developed a personal spirituality that honors all of who I am and that works for me. Organized religion had no part in my spiritual practice. Lo and behold, twelve years ago I fell in love with a man whose life’s calling was to become an Episcopal priest!

I first met my partner right after he was told by Bishop Love, the newly consecrated Bishop of the Albany Episcopal Diocese (AED), that he would never be ordained in his diocese unless he stayed in the closet, single and celibate.

This was after Keith had already been in the process in the Albany diocese for two years. The way the bishop treated Keith just reinforced my beliefs about organized religions –stay the hell away from them! The bishop’s remarks did not keep Keith from following his calling. He restarted the ordination process in Vermont. This meant driving back and forth to Vermont from Albany, sometimes daily for over five years. He served in 4 different churches in Southern Vermont. During this time I got to know the bishop of Vermont and many of the parishioners of these churches. These folks were truly welcoming, accepting and loving to Keith and me. They practiced what was preached and helped their communities in a myriad of ways. My heart began to thaw toward organized religion when I saw what a force for good that inclusive, nonjudgmental, active communities of faith could be to people around them. After a ten year effort my partner was ordained in a small country church in Vermont last January. The church was filled to overflowing with folks wishing Keith and me well. This church was only twenty miles from the border of the AED. What a difference twenty miles makes!

Not all churches in the AED are discriminatory; a few make a strong effort to be inclusive regardless of the bishop

Larry Steffler BSW, CLYL

and his polices. One of these churches was the church Keith attended in Hudson before moving to the Vermont Diocese. The people of this church loved Keith and for many years Keith was an active well respected member of the parish. Christ Church is where Keith started the ordination process that had to be aborted due to Bishop Love’s stance on LGBT people in his churches. The members of the church were very saddened and angry over the fact that Keith was not able to finish his process with them. These were the folks who took up Sunday collections for Keith to help support him while he was at seminary. A couple of months after Keith’s ordination, the priest at Christ Church was planning to retire and the vestry (church council) decided to offer the job of interim pastor to Keith. They knew it was a longshot, but they felt compelled to try.

He was told by Bishop Love, that he would never be ordained in his diocese unless he stayed in the closet, single and celibate.

The bishop refused saying that Keith did not have the experience to do the job. The vestry countered that Keith’s lack of experience could be overcome by the fact that he knew the church, knew the community, and knew the parishioners, and everyone would support him as he gained experience.

The bishop still said no. The bishop did not have the guts to be vocal about his own beliefs and be honest about why he turned down Keith for the position! Everyone knew the real reason that Keith did not get the job was that he was in an open, committed, longterm relationship with me. To say I got pissed is an understatement! After calming down (it took me over a week), I realized that my heart and my gut would not allow me to let this issue go. My partner and I had dealt with the repercussions of Bishop Love’s bigotry for over a decade along with many other folks in the diocese. During my reflections on what I could do to facilitate change, the same thought kept

recurring to me; Why do most of the members of the AED accept the status quo? Are they: unaware, homophobic themselves, or just apathetic? In an effort to find out I composed and sent the following letter to twelve ministers in the AED:

“This email was written to ask you how you reconcile being a Christian who preaches love and compassion in the Albany Episcopal Diocese and yet do nothing to change your diocese’s stance on LGBT people. As a person who teaches Jesus’s love does your heart and soul truly believe that the way the Albany Diocese has disdain for LGBT persons and excludes them from becoming clergy is justifiable and in accordance with Jesus’s teachings? Sadly, I have found that the Albany Diocese has a national reputation in the American Episcopal community as close minded and bigoted towards LGBT people and that your diocese lives up to that reputation. My partner and I have been personally affected and hurt by the policies of your diocese. Fortunately, we have found inclusiveness, love, acceptance and support in Episcopal communities outside of the Albany Diocese. I hope that your answer to my question has more substance to it than “It says so in the bible.” If you write back and tell me that your parish is inclusive, I will then ask you why you have not protested against Bishop Love’s polices and tried to change them. If I do not get a response from you, I plan on asking you and your congregants the same question during one of your Sunday services.”

In future pieces, I plan to write about the responses to my emails, my scary two and a half hour meeting with Bishop Love, why I felt compelled to “terrorize” a church service in Delmar, and most importantly, why does the National Episcopal Church, who forbids discrimination in their canons (church law), allow Bishop Love to get away with what he does. stefflerlarry@gmail.com

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SHOP101 Please join us for this complementary workshop

Wednesday, August 27th 6:00PM—8:00PM The Pride Center - 332 Hudson Ave - Albany - NY - 12210 RSVP by August 19th 518.462.6138 or healthcare@capitalpridecenter.org

The New York State of Health Small Business Marketplace {SHOP} offers an easier way to insure your employees. It’s convenient and customizable. With SHOP, you can now provide affordable quality health insurance coverage to your workers.

The Pride Center is excited to provide this educational resource to our community members and allies.

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Pub5941 GEAR 2013-0972

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LEGALLY MARRIED AND THINKING ABOUT RETIREMENT? YOUR SPOUSE MAY BE COVERED BY SOCIAL SECURITY!

Elizabeth Pivonka, Social Security Public Affairs Specialist, and Lauren Ford, LGBT Health Specialist

After the Defense of Marriage Act, also known as DOMA, was declared unconstitutional last year, legally married LGBT families are now eligible for a variety of benefits! Navigating this system can be tricky, but it doesn’t have to be. If you have a spouse who does not earn an income or who earns less than you do, your spouse may be entitled to Social Security spouses’ benefits based on your record.

Social Security can be an important financial asset for married couples when the time comes to apply for retirement benefits. In many cases, one spouse may have earned significantly more than the other, or may have worked longer. Or it could be that one spouse stayed home to do the work of raising children, caring for family members, or managing the household while the other was engaged in the paid workforce.

Your spouse can apply for benefits the

On June 29, 2014, Governor Cuomo made an important announcement, in which he detailed a three-point plan to “Bend the Curve” and move us closer to the end of the AIDS epidemic in New York State. The goal is to reduce the number of new HIV infections to just 750 [from an estimated 3,000] by 2020.

The strategies will keep HIV-negative New Yorkers uninfected and help those living with HIV live healthier, longer lives. The New York State Department of Health Medicaid program has suc-

same way that you apply for benefits on your own record. They can apply for reduced benefits as early as age 62, or for 100 percent of the full retirement benefits at “full retirement age.” Not sure what the full retirement ages are? To learn your and your spouse’s full retirement ages, based on birth year, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/pubs/ageincrease.htm.

The benefit amount your spouse can receive at full retirement age can be as much as one-half of your full benefit. If your spouse opts for early retirement, the benefit may be as little as a third of your full benefit amount. It’s important to note that benefits paid to your spouse do not decrease your benefit amount.

If you have already reached full retirement age but continue to work, you can apply for retirement benefits and request to have the payments suspended until as late as age 70. This would let you earn delayed retirement credits that will mean higher payments later, but still would allow your spouse to receive a spouse’s cessfully negotiated agreements with three pharmaceutical companies representing 70% of the HIV marketGilead, AbbVie, and Bristol-Myers Squibb. This agreement will expand access to medications and reduce the cost to the State of ensuring all HIV-infected persons are on appropriate treat’tnent.

The plan also promotes the enhanced use of evidenced-based interventions such as PrEP, nPEP, and advanced HIV testing technologies.

Full implementation of the recent amendments to NYS law is essential to this plan. Elimination of written informed consent as a requirement for HIV testing will make screening more routine and less burdensome. Enhanced data sharing will allow for state and lo-

benefit.

Spouses can consider a number of options and variables. The Social Security Administration can make it easier to navigate them. A good place to start is by visiting our benefits planner at www. socialsecurity.gov/planners. Take note of the “Benefits As A Spouse” section.

If you are ready to apply for benefits, the fastest, easiest, and most convenient way is to apply online! You can do so at www.socialsecurity.gov/applyonline and complete your application in as little as 15 minutes. We encourage people who think they may be eligible to apply now.

Find out more at www.socialsecurity.gov/ same-sexcouples.

Whatever your situation, rest assured Social Security will look at all possibilities to make sure both spouses receive the maximum Social Security benefits possible. Learn more at www.socialsecurity. gov. If you have additional questions you can also reach out to the Pride Center at casemanagement@capitalpridecenter.org. cal health departments to work in partnership with health care providers for purposes of patient linkage and retention in care. Protections of the 30% rent cap for 10,000 disabled HIV-infected persons will result in a decreased rent burden for individuals who were paying up to 70% of their income toward rent. Housing stability has a direct impact on a person’s ability to stay in care.

I also must acknowledge the success of our many programs that have virtually eliminated mother-to-child transmission of HIV, dramatically reduced new infections among injection drug users, and successfully addressed the needs of persons with sexual risk factors.

Over the last 30 years, New York State has achieved numerous victories in the fight against HIVIAIDS. On behalf of the AIDS Institute, I thank you for your ongoing partnership, commitment, and contributions to these successes.

Together, we can bring New York State to the point where new HIV infections will be rare and persons with the disease will live long, productive lives.

THE THREE-POINT PLAN INCLUDES: Identifying persons with HIV who remain undiagnosed and linking them to health care 2.

Linking and retaining persons diagnosed with HIV in health care and maintaining them on antiretroviral therapy to maximize HIV viral load suppression so they remain healthy and to prevent further transmission and 3.

Facilitating access to Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) for high-risk HIV negative persons.

1.

Reprinted from a letter date July 7, 2014 from Dan O’Connell, Director of the AIDS Institute

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T R A NS VI E W #1 24 ©

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Mo o n hawk Riv er St one

The Policy Issue: We Did Pretty Good This Year!

At the Federal level, five, folks, five big changes occurred!!

I would like to give a bit of a correction to my remarks of last column.

Not all big changes happen in June.

Sometimes they happen in May or even April.

In April this year, the US Department of Education’s civil rights office issued a statement handbook on Title IX and Sexual Violence stating that transgender students are fully protected in the school environment under the category of sex.

Yes, protection is comprehensive and includes having the students use the bathroom that corresponds to their gender identity and if others are uncomfortable that they can use a private single seat bathroom, modeled after the Cruzan v.

Minneapolis School District of many years ago. Great news for children transitioning in schools! The longer problem will be getting schools to change their written policies and to fully implement this Title IX coverage. Likely there will be challenges to it.

Then in late May, after many years of hard work by the Pride Agenda, myself and other transgender advocacy organizations we were able to get the first steps in what we hope will be a comprehensive change in how transgender individuals can go about having their birth certificates updated to reflect their gender identity without having to take hormones or have reconstructive surgeries.

New York State became one of the few places in the country now allowing such a policy which is in alignment with the Social Security and Department of State gender marker policies. Unfortunately, according to the Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP):

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“The policy does not extend to all transgender New Yorkers. People born in New York City, youth under 18 and people in prison are excluded.” So there is still lots of work to do to make this a comprehensive policy for all New Yorkers. The Pride Agenda provides this link to the DOH vital records website: health.ny.gov/vital_records/birth.htm.

We have much to celebrate, even as we sit in “progressive” New York without a transgender civil rights bill.

However, there is no direct link on that page to the proper information for how to do this change. But!!! if you email them, at vr@health.state.ny.us, they will send you the documents as downloadable attachments. I have addressed the broader issue with the person who sent me the email about how this needs to be as prominently displayed on that web page as other options regarding birth certificates. We’ll see...if it gets easier.

At the Federal level, five, folks, five big changes occurred!!

They are:

On May 30, 2014, the 40 year ban on Medicare coverage for genital reconstruction surgeries (better known as sex reassignment surgeries) was lifted.

No one knows yet how the coverage will work, but the coverage is now there.

On June 13, 2014 the same ban for federal workers was lifted and their insurance coverage now includes genital reconstruction surgeries.

On June 30, 2014, the President indicated he was to sign an executive order specifically protecting transgender workers in the workplace. At the same time, he was signing an order that anti- LGBT bias from federal contractors would not be tolerated.

On June 30, 2014, Secretary of Labor, Tom Perez, issued a paper stating that the Macy v. Dept. of Justice, Title VII decision was going to be broadly interpreted throughout the land, meaning that transgender workers, be they federal or non federal are now protected

by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. And to top it all off, on June 9, 2014, the American Medical Association has come out with a policy statement from their annual meeting stating that they fully support a no surgery policy for the changing of the gender marker on birth certificates. (There was no information about hormone therapy.) They also stated that regardless of the gender marker on the birth certificate, the patient should always be treated with the appropriate medical care and preventive screening care for their unique body configuration.

Such astonishing accomplishments in such a short period of time! We have much to celebrate, even as we sit in “progressive” New York without a transgender civil rights bill. The feds and the AMA have certainly put us to shame! As we enjoy the remaining days of summer, know that we do so with the great promise on the horizon that we have surely turned THE CORNER in our fight for civil and human rights! Yippee!...until next time...T Rev. Moonhawk River Stone of Riverstone Consulting is an Interfaith Minister, transgender activist, writer, educator, consultant, keynote speaker and psychotherapist in private practice for over 25 years with experience and extensive expertise in all aspects of transgender policy and health.

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photographs by Dawn Sylvester

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The August LGBTQ Professionals Networking Event Tuesday, August 12th, 6-8 pm Mexican Radio 325 State St, Schenectady

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Janet Stein / Arbonne International Jay Zhang Photography Joseph Roche Journey United Church of Christ L&P Media Mazzone Hospitality / Aperitivo Bistro Northeast Acura Rain Modern Chinese Ronnie Mangione / Wealth Advisory Group RBC Wealth Management Security Plumbing & Heating Supply Skylands Services, INC Sunrise Management and Consulting Tri City Rentals

For More Information on the Pride Center Business Alliance or To Learn How to Join Visit:

www.capitalpridecenter.org/resources/business-alliance/ 22

Mark D. Witecki

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ASK MARK YOUR TAX QUESTIONS Dear Mark, My accountant won’t return my phone calls. She prepared my 2012 tax return and I received a tax notice and the IRS is also trying to penalize me. The notice said that I had to take money out of an IRA and I did not do that. In fact, I inherited the IRA in 2011. I got a similar notice for 2011 and a bill from the IRS for taxes and penalties and I just paid it. The I got a bill from the New York State Tax Department for the same thing for the 2011 taxes. I think the accountant that did the return is hiding and she just won’t answer my calls.

Sign me, What gives.

Dear What gives, When you inherit an IRA there may be some required distributions called RMD’s . If you do not take any RMD’s there is also a potential 50 percent penalty that the IRS assesses in addition to the tax. It is possible to file a special form and try to waive the penalty. When doing this, one must provide a reason why the RMD was not taken.

It is also important to calculate the amount of RMD’s to date that have not been taken out , and take that amount out. Also, have your broker or financial institution fill out the required paperwork so that the RMD’s are automatically withdrawn in the future.

You will most likely receive a tax notice for 2013 as well in about a year or so. If the person from whom you inherited the IRA from was over 59 1/2 at the time of death or would have been 59 1/2 at the time of distribution, New York State provides an exclusion of $ 20,000 divided by the number of beneficiaries from gross income.

Please contact me to set up an appointment to further discuss the entire matter.

Dear Mr. Witecki, I used an off the shelf tax program whose name I shall not mention. I had some stock profits in my IRA and I ended up reporting the gains on the IRA stocks because the questions asked by the program seemed to indicate that they were taxable. Now I hear that is not the case. Is this true?

Very Truly Yours, Ticked off at T***** Dear Ticked Off, Generally speaking, gains on transactions inside a retirement account are not taxable transactions with the exception of any investments that generate what is known as UBIT (unrelated business taxable income).

This income usually is generated from a business activity not related to the primary purpose of an IRA or other tax deferred account. For example, an IRA owns a clothing store as an investment. Because the clothing is an activity considered not related to the primary purpose of the IRA or other tax deferred account, any profits and gains will be considered UBIT. If there are losses , those UBIT losses can offset other UBIT gains, and if there is a net UBIT loss for the year, that can be carried over to the following year. A typical UBIT scenario is an IRA owning a publicly traded partnership interest such as an energy company with oil and gas investments and this is owned by the IRA. There is a box on the form K-1 that is given to each investor.

That K-1 form states how much the UBIT is. There are a large number of these types of investments owned by IRA’s and other tax deferred accounts This is a complex matter. Please call for an appointment to discuss further. ==========================

==========================

24

Mr. Witecki, I did my own taxes in 2007 and I reported a transaction that came from what is called a 1099 form and it had on it 1099-B. It was

by

Mark D. Witecki

from a sale of stock. At that time it seemed unusual because I never remembered receiving the check. Now, I just got a 1099 in the mail from the New York State Unclaimed Funds people for 2013. I do remember filling out a form during 2013 for a lost check. But I already paid the tax in 2007. What do I do?

Bewildered, Confused and Upset Dear B C and U, Since you already claimed the amount on the 2007 return you have already paid the tax on that amount. However, the 2013 1099-B (which they mailed WAY after the time they were supposed to ) needs to be addressed. Assuming you already filed 2013 (you don’t say if you did or not in your letter), you must show the 1099B amount on the amended return with a corresponding entry for cost basis to net the amount to zero, and provide an explanation in an attachment as to the details of the transaction. Both Federal and New York State returns (and any other states if you filed them) need to be amended.

Answers that apply to specific taxpayers may not necessary apply to others. Changes in tax law and rules may affect answers given at any point. You can write Mark at Mark Witecki CPA CFP(R) CFE, 3701 State St, Schenectady, NY 12304. Mark D. Witecki specializes in small businesses and professional individuals. Mr. Witecki has a B. S. in Accounting from S. U. N. Y. Albany and an M. S. in Accounting from Syracuse University. Mark D. Witecki is a Certified Public Accountant, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ™ practitioner, Certified Fraud Examiner, Certified College Planning Specialist and is admitted to practice before the United States Tax Court.

Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® , CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ and federally registered CFP (with flame design) in the U.S., which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements.Mark’s office is located at 3701 State Street, Schenectady, New York and contacted at 346-4000.

MONEY MATTERS

by

Thomas J. Walling CFP® take all members into consideration when planning your finances and insurances. Many professionals hold themselves out as experts, but get referrals from trusted friends or organizations before making any decisions.

Buck Tradition. Be an Innovator Most of us live in non traditional households. Just remember to take all members into consideration when planning your finances and insurances.

Tradition is a strong word. It has been used against the LGBT community for years. It infers that if things change, the fears of the unknown will all be brought to fruition. Whether Marriage Equality was something we deserved invoked “Tradition” as a defense to obviously discriminatory behavior. That fight goes on.

Non traditional relationships are anything out of the norm. They are the result of anything from coming out, divorce, having kids, to dealing with an ailing parent. When dealing with money, security and relationships, there are much more important factors than tradition, as we all know. The roles we play are unique to us and our learning experiences. If one is raised thinking that men handle the money or that women should be paid less because the men have families to support, there will be an impact.

Luckily, for many rebels like us, that impact of a traditional upbringing was the use of critical thinking and self experience to assess situations without judgment. It seems counter intuitive, but we should thank those people for letting us see those things needing change.

Most of us start off single. These are the times to learn to become responsible in most aspects of your life. The development of good money habits goes

When dealing with money, security and relationships, there are much more important factors than tradition. beyond paying your bills on time. It involves looking at things you deem important for security like Disability Income insurance or a Renters policy.

No matter who or what you are, as well as what you have been taught, everyone should know at least the basic concepts of fiscal management.

Cash reserves come in handy and help when emergencies arise. Planning for retirement early will increase the time for investments to grow and have a huge impact later. Cash flow controls the ins and outs of money.

Discretionary income is the left over from cash flow. Most debt is bad. In youth, knowledge of these things can ave a huge impact on your later years.

Savings should have as much time as possible for growth.

All different kinds of relationships exist whether we acknowledge this or not. They should be based on love and security. Most of us live in non traditional households. Just remember to

Everyone plays a different role in a relationship of any type. Of course women should make the same as men for the same job. So should a transgender person or a person of color… any color. In fact, I think they should be paid more as they are contributing a new perspective. Let’s replace the word Non traditional with Innovative.

Our culture as well as our economy are in the business of growing. This requires new things. By definition, this is the opposite of Tradition. Businesses should celebrate diversity. It is what gives new perspectives to old problems and fuels innovation. The economy and our future happiness depend on this. Buck tradition. Follow your heart.

Be an innovator.

Thomas J. Walling CFP® is an Investment Advisor Representative of and offers securities and advisory services through Cetera Advisor Networks.(Member FINRA/ SIPC) and a Registered Investment Advisor. Branch office:235 Lark St. #43 Albany, NY 12210. He is also past presenter at the Pride Center on financial affairs affecting the LGBT community as well as for SAGE of NYC. Tom Is past presidents of the board of directors of The Albany Damien Center, Inc. as well as Our Brothers’ Keepers Foundation.

Tom can be reached at 518.878.1294 or Thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com

Thomas J. Walling, CFP®

INVESTMENT ADVISER REPRESENTATIVE

NY Insurance License #LA910069 235 Lark St., Suite 43 Albany, NY 12210 Direct: 518.878.1294 thomas.walling@ceteranetworks.com Cetera Advisor Networks, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC

25

OUT IN THE GARDEN

by

Judith Fetterley

Workout Judith Fetterley lives and gardens in Glenmont, New York. She also runs Perennial Wisdom, a garden design business for new and existing gardens.

I have just come in from five hours in the garden. All I can think about is the couch. But I can’t go there yet; I have some writing to do.

My children are concerned about my lack of aerobic exercise. I try to assuage their concerns about my longterm well-being by citing the research on the value of gardening as a form of moderate exercise. I also tell them that moderate exercise is better for me than strenuous exercise. I point out to them that for five hours I have been in constant motion and that the motion has been varied and complex.

I have pushed a wheelbarrow loaded with tools; crawled in under a spruce tree to weed around its base; edged beneath an overgrown shrub and carried the heavy clods to the appointed receptacles; divided and removed a bed of Filipendula ulmaria; raked up the remains of a major tree trimming.

During this time I have knelt, crawled, lifted, thrown, dug, sat on my butt and scooted, reached up and reached down. I am in constant motion but I am not constantly repeating the same motion. I weed for a while, then I get up and carry my weed-filled bucket to the curb. I weed for a while longer, then I see something that needs edging or trimming. I weed some more and then it’s time to dead head.

Everything is so spectacularly beautiful this time of year, my heart races to take in the big picture of sweep and swirl and the little picture of rain drop on mantle leaf.

Still I sympathize with my gym-visiting children who remain unimpressed with my claims for a workout in the garden, even at five hours. I don’t quite know how to tell them that the muscle I am really exercising out there is my heart. It is early July as I write this, and the heavy work of moving shrubs, dividing and transplanting perennials, re-designing and planting new and old gardens, wood-chipping paths, mulching and composting is done. It is time to enjoy. Last night I dreamt that suddenly it was fall and someone had come and taken down the entire garden before I had a chance to enjoy it. I was devastated. Luckily I awoke to find the garden still there and my heart intact, not broken, ready for its workout.

Everything is so spectacularly beautiful this time of year, my heart races to take in the big picture of sweep and swirl and the little picture of rain drop on mantle leaf. This spring I ripped out most of the remaining barberries, hacked out an overgrown dwarf Alberta spruce, and dug up an entire garden to make room for a vegetable garden for Sara. I grieve the loss of the plants that have gone, invasive and misplaced as some were, but my heart has expanded to take in the different presence of Sara’s vegetable garden in what has up to now been my space. My blue spruces are suffering from a disease that threatens to kill them.

I have ordered treatment but each day I prepare for loss at the same time as I weed, fertilize, and trim out dead branches, performing again and again the rituals of commitment and hope.

This balancing act stretches my heart to its limits. Last year I planted three new trees. My heart leaps at the sight of them this year, for each has survived and is a success. The fastigiate sweet gum at the front corner of the house is healthy and well-placed; the little cherry standard perfects the view from the kitchen window; the arching Parrotia persica completes the patio’s privacy.

As I write I can see Sara in her vegetable garden, and as I watch her tend her tomatoes and peas and beans my heart jumps around with such love for her and for our garden that I have to go and lie down. Ah, the couch at last.

Judith can be reached at fetterleyj@gmail.com

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Copyright © 2010 CUSTOMERicity, LLC. All rights reserved. Kevlar™ is a registered trademark of E. I. du Pont de Nemours and Company or its affiliates.

26

Here’ s Gu f f ma n

by

Pa t r i c k Whit e Good News

Patrick White is a Capital Region actor who will be in “Man From Nebraska” by Tracy Letts at Albany Civic Theatre 8/28-9/14

At the very end of this past theatrical season in the Capital Region good news was found in the auspicious debuts of two promising premieres which bring with them much anticipation for years of performance opportunities. No, it wasn’t the latest high school phenom debuting from the numerous training programs in the area which multiply on a yearly basis but June brought two new performance spaces to the Capital Region. The first was at the Albany Barn where Confetti Stage performed “Bent” the first two weekends in June and garnered a rave from the Daily Gazette. The second was a new home for the Soul Rebel Performance Troupe who had a regional premiere with “I Just Stopped By To See The Man” by Stephen Jeffreys the second and third weekends of June at an unused Church at 1501 First Avenue in Watervliet.

I asked Jean-Remy Monnay, the driving force behind SRPT how this came about .

“We were formed in 2009 doing play readings at local libraries and performed skits and monologues at local venues and in 2010 we were dissolved. A month later I reformed the group and we got incorporated in November 2011 and reapplied for 501 (c) 3. We’ve done a few small productions at The Sand Lake Center For The Arts, The Arts Center in Troy, Dali Mamma in Cohoes and performed in October in Collaboration with NYS PLS at Cap Rep in Albany and at The Albany Law School for Take Back The Night with the Albany County Crime Victim and Sexual Violence Center.

Our first big production was Camp Logan, produced in February 2013 at the Schenectady Community College and at The Sand Lake Center For the Arts. That production was sponsored by Price Chopper and The SCCC. Since then we had two big productions and one in collaboration with the Village Stage in Troy.

In August 2013, I heard about the Dutch Reformed Church in Watervliet which had been vacant for a while. I called Mayor Mike Manning and inquired about it.

He told me to contact Mark Gleason – The City General Manager. Mr. Gleason told me to send in a proposal. I was invited to address the City Council and in May of 2014, we officially moved in at 1501 First Ave. We had our opening show there recently – “I Just Stopped By To See The Man” and our next production is “Fences”

by August Wilson. I will direct the show.

We will be working with the community in Watervliet. We plan workshops for the youths and invite the Watervliet seniors to see our productions free of charge.”

As if that weren’t exciting enough there are also two new venues for Shakespeare in the Park this summer. Steamer No. 10 is presenting “The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspr (Abridged)” in Lincoln Park near The Sunshine School 8/1-8/3 and Confetti Stage (travelling again) is presenting “The Tempest” directed by Liana Robinson Martino 8/-8/10 at The Ten Broeck Mansion. All this and a new reviewer (Alexander Stern) at Metroland who even reviews non-Equity productions. Things are looking up around here.

SUMMER’S NOT OVER YET, BUT DON’T FORGET TO GEAR UP FOR THE FALL! by

Alison Horgan AmeriCorps VISTA Fellow & Program Development Assistant

Summer vacation is awesome in every way; lazy days of sleeping in, hanging with friends and relaxing.

Whether you’re enjoying the beach or the lake, traveling or keeping cool inside, you don’t have to worry about homework, writing papers, getting to school before the first bell and applying for college. School can be stressful!

Because we all know the pressures that come with the school year, the Pride Center is here to help!

While we encourage you to talk to your friends and family, or even if you’re connected with a school counselor, a GSA advisor, or other staff at your school; any time you need a shoulder to lean on, the Pride Center is here!

Our youth groups run throughout the summer and during the school year, offering you lots of chances to get involved. We meet in Albany, Schenectady, and Saratoga. Check out our Ongoing Events Calendar in this issue of CommUNITY to get more information about meetings times and locations!

Through our Center Youth program and other programs at the Pride Center, we address a variety of topics such as: • Advocacy & education • Dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression • Trauma & abuse • Coming out • Sexual orientation & gender identity • Healthy relationships • Prevention of STIs and HIV/AIDS • Family & parenting relationships • Grief & loss

The Pride Center also offers a fabulous Center Support program! Center Support Counseling for youth is a program of the Pride Center that offers support and resources to LGBTQA youth ages 13-18. It’s also FREE! Don’t worry, if you’re not 13-18, Center Support is also for adults. Contact Lauren Ford, (518) 462-6138 x12 for more info!

If you’re getting ready to age out of our Center Youth program, never fear!

There are tons of ways to stay involved through support and advocacy opportunities whether that be hanging out at our Rainbow Café, coming out for one of our many events throughout the year, attending a Peer Support Group, Recovery Group, Center Support Counseling, Case Management, or getting yourself tested with our FREE, confidential HIV testing. It is our hope, that by offering these services, we can empower YOU! Looking for some things to do to kick off your school year?

Don’t forget about our Back to School BBQ, Friday, September 5th from 6-8:30pm and our Center Youth Action Team Meet and Greet, Wednesday, September 10th from 4:30-6pm, both events at the Pride Center (332 Hudson Avenue, Albany)!

Start off your school year on the right foot! We’re looking forward to hearing from you!

27

V I N TA GE PR ID E: W h o W e A re !

inte rvie we d b y

Chuck Z imme rm an

Maggie Morrison: Be Honest, Be Fair and Tastefully Take a Stand

The locale is approximately 55 miles and 55 minutes north of Albany, in the hamlet of West Glens Falls and the surrounding City of Glens Falls, before the Northway appeared on any map. The title “Hometown USA” had designated the area from a Look Magazine publication of 1944. And here is where Mabel “Maggie” Morrison began her recollections of an earlier time and place. From memories of the Oneida Grange Hall, which acted as the temporary elementary school, through her Glens Falls High School years, Maggie related to me with infectious enthusiasm her loves of music and sports. “I especially enjoyed basketball, softball, hockey and tennis [but tennis did not like me]”. She was selected “Most Athletic” and competed on New York State level, playing the trumpet. Maggie also knew that she was “different” but placed those thoughts aside. “Nice guys came into my life” , she reminisced.

Then it was Adirondack Community College in Hudson Falls, eventually followed by her part time employment one summer at the Mayfield Diner in the City of Albany. Maggie met her husband-to-be while working there. Life moves faster than we may realize…. marriage, San Antonio, Texas, where he was stationed in the Army, back to the Capital District and by 1969, a family with two children.

Into her late-twenties, Maggie’s attraction to women began to take center stage in her life. She believed that in all fairness to her family, sharing these newly awakened and emerging feelings with her husband was necessary. He was understanding and they eventually settled upon a workable separation agreement. They remained friends.

When Maggie informed her sister she was gay her sibling’s response was “So am I!” Maggie Morrison spoke very lovingly to me about her parents. When her sister separated from her gay partner, Maggie’s parents were devastated.

Maggie Morrison’s emerging life involved managing for two years the women-only “Attic” bar above the “Playhouse” on Central Avenue [it closed when the owner attempted to integrate it with men since women wanted a woman-space only]. Maggie often accompanied her DJ to Manhattan and she believes that Alicia Bridges’ 1978 song, “I Love the Nightlife” was brought to Albany bar patrons and dancers through their endeavors.

“The Attic had the greatest sound system and music“, Maggie chimed. She recalled a popular women’s group “ALICE“….Area Lesbians in Common Endeavors, formed at this time, and , in the 1990’s, LLAMAS, another all-women group that promoted hiking, dinners and similar activities. In addition to her 20 years employment managing a local HMO medical claims department, Maggie also worked for Travel-

EVENTS THINGS TO DO CONTESTS

ers Insurance that brought her to NYC on weekends. She was a participant of the Manhattan Pride Parades for many years and is as knowledgeable regarding historic NYC GLBT bars and meeting places. Maggie briefly mentioned the Hudson Arms Bar in Albany as one of our oldest establishments.

“Be honest, be fair and tastefully take a stand” is a theme that emerged through my interview with Maggie. On one occasion during her earlier Glens Falls years, she confronted a teacher who had been less than diplomatic with a fellow student for a perceived inadequacy. The end result…Maggie assisted her peer in eventually overcoming that inadequacy. On another occasion, during the funeral of her sister’s gay son, Maggie honored his memory by acknowledging her nephew’s partner [the time prior to gay acceptance and marriage] and that neither he, nor her nephew, would be forgotten.

“In many ways the heterosexual and GLBT lifestyles are similar“, Maggie stated. “Be honest, fair and respectful and life will work out. Know the meaning of commitment and if a relationship changes or ends there in no need to be hurtful”. Maggie Morrison ended the interview with several loving thoughts regarding her extended family and friends. She also expressed the following…..” Youth must communicate“….

“People remember good things”….”I don’t feel my age” and…”.I am a strange little duck”.

Maggie Morrison is a faithful participant in Vintage Pride activities of the Capital District Pride Center. She rallied the largest amount of ticket sales for the recent highly successful Vintage Pride cruise on the Dutch Apple in June 2014.

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28

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VINTAGE PRIDE AUGUST POTLUCK

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS! Many of us have talents, hobbies and interests that we seldom get to share with each other. Join us as we celebrate our unique qualities and skills!

SUNDAY, AUGUST 17, 1-3PM FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, 362 STATE ST. ALBANY Vintage Pride is a casual social opportunity for LGBTQ people 55 and older. Bring a dish to share, enjoy drinks & dessert provided by the Pride Center!

29

Special Events Friday 8/1 Opening Reception for The Center Show

The Romaine Brooks Gallery celberates it’s August show with a special 1st Friday receoption in the Rainbow Cafe. The Center Show presents paintings, fabric works, mixed media, photography and a video installation from the collected talents at the Pride Center. Featuring works by Pilar Arthur-Snead, Lyndon Cudlitz, Rosy Galvan and Oliver Peters. The Rainbow Cafe will be open and will also feature a special wine reception to celebrate the first presentation of these talent artist.

Location: The Romaine Brooks Gallery at the Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave., Albany - 1st Floor Time: 5-9 PM Cost: FREE Tuesday 8/12 August LGBTQ Professionals Networking Event This monthly event is one of the biggest, and fastest growing, networking opportunities for the LGBTQA business community in the Capital Region. As always this relaxed happy hour will provide complimentary lite fare and an a uniuige opportunity to connect with dozens of colleauges and new clients! The August mixer is sure to draw a crowd at the newly opened and already wildly popular Schenectady location of Mexican Radio!

Location: Mexican Radio Schenectady 325 State St., Schenectady Time: 6-8 PM Cost: $10.00

Wednesday 8/27 SHOP 101 The New York State of Health Small Business Marketplace (SHOP) offers an easier way to insure your employees. Please join us for this complimentary workshop for small businesses (50 employees or less) to discover how to offer your employees coverage under the Affordable Care Act. With SHOP you can now provide affordable, quality health insurance coverage to your workers.

Location: The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave., Albany Time: 6-8 PM Cost: FREE

Saturday 8/16 Center Families Meet-up

Center Families is an emerging program of the Pride Center. We are dedicated to helping LGBTQ families in the Capital Region achieve their goals of building and sustaining happy and healthy families.

Stay tuned for some fun and fabulous family events, starting with our FIRST meet-up at The Crossings playground! We will set up near the playground. Be on the look out for a rainbow flag! :-) Feel free to bring your child’s favorite snack to share!

Location: The Crossings Playground 580 Albany Shaker Rd., Loudonville Time: 10am-12pm Cost: FREE Friday 8/22 thru Sunday 8/24 Youth in Power Pride Center Leadership Camp

If you’re between the ages of 13-18 and looking for a FREE weekend camp, this is for you!

YOUTH IN POWER is for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning AND allied (LGBTQA) youth to build leadership and learn about social justice issues, all while being at CAMP! YOUTH IN POWER will provide a welcoming, supportive, safe, and fun summer camp experience for young people who either identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, queer, questioning (LGBTQ) or as allies. This weekend program is jam-packed with a variety of workshops, social activities, and projects that focus on empowerment through social justice. Time at camp will incorporate “traditional” activities such as arts and crafts, boating, and lawn games in conjunction with youth-driven events, which are a key part of the YOUTH IN POWER experience.

Location: Albany County Visit here for more info: www.tinyurl.com/youthinpower Register online:

www.tinyurl.com/youthinpowerapp

Cost: FREE

Mark your calendar for next month!

Saturday 9/ 6 L.G.B.T.Q Fun In The Sun [F.I.T.S] Basketball Tournament & Fundraiser!

There will be a main basketball tournament [ Ages 14+ to play], affordable snacks & drinks for sale, side games for folks not participating in the basketball game and face painting for kids! Great Music Provided by the Livest L.G.B.T.(Q) DJ , *DJ TyeMula* Teams of 3 Two 6 minute half 's MUST RSVP by August 6th with t-shirt size! Cash prize for the winning team!! This is an event you don't want to miss. For more information and to RSVP, contact Rosy Galvan at rgalvan@capitalpridecenter.org, (518) 462-6138.

Location: Washington Park Basketball Courts, Albany Time: 1-4 PM Cost: $5 per person (includes t-shirt and game entry)

30

31

SUNDAYS Every Sun.

LGBTQ Alcoholics Anonymous* in the Garden Level 7-8:30pm am Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 11pm 1 in the Rainbow Cafe Sun.

of themonth

Bisexual Potluck Brunch* 11 1 in the Rainbow Cafe Vintage Pride Potluck Lunch 1-3pm

rd

of

First Presbyterian Church Sun. 362 State St., Albany themonth

4

th

Sun.

of themonth

Movie Night on the 1st Floor Supper Sunday on the 1st Floor

6:30pm

2 rd 3

nd

Weds.

Weds.

5-9pm

Every Sunday Night 6-9PM

MONDAYS Every Mon.

Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor

(ages 18-24)

6-7:30 on the 1st Floor (Sept. 4 - Nov 6 ) Schenectady Rainbow Nights Youth Group (ages 13-18)

Saratoga Springs Library - Glatsby Room 49 Henry St, Saratoga Springs

4:30-6

pm

LGBTQ Narcotics Anonymous* 7:30in the Garden Level 8:30pm

First Unitarian Society of Schenectady Tues. themonth 1221 Wendel Ave, Schenctady more info: Julia Helfman 518-372-911

7-9pm

32

2 th 4

nd

in the Romaine Brooks Gallery (1st Floor) 5-9pm Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor Game Night in the Rainbow Cafe Free & Confidentail HIV Testing on the 3rd Floor

4-7pm 6-9pm 4-7pm

RAINBOW CAFE IS OPEN

Every Friday Night

7pm

Trans* Pride Meet & Greet on the 1st Floor 7-9pm

Tues.

of themonth

Special Artist Reception and Opening

(1st Fri. the month - see capitalpridecenter.org/programs-services/center-arts for details)

Fri.

Capital Region Support Group for Family and Friends of LGBTQ People*

of

Every Fri.

of themonth

Trans* Pride Discussion Group on the 1st Floor

Tues.

th

7pm

Proctor’s Theater, Underground Space 432 State St., Schenectady

of themonth

Saratoga Youth Group (ages 13-18)

pm

th

Fri.

Every Other Tues.

of themonth

7pm

Albany Youth Group (ages 13-18) in the Garden Level 7-8:30pm

Every Mon.

TUESDAYS

1 2nd rd 3

LGBTQ Book Club on the 1st Floor

FRIDAYS

4-7pm

Gay Men’s Alcoholic’s Anonymous* in the Garden Level 7-8:30pm

st

7pm

Thrive LGBTQ Youth Group

st

of

Live from the Livingroom Poetry Open Mic* in the Garden Level

THURSDAYS

Men’s Peer Support Group on the 1st pm Floor 7-8:30 Free & Confidentail HIV Testing Mon. 4-7pm of themonth on the 3rd Floor

Mon. themonth

6-7pm social hour 7-8pm discussion

of themonth

RAINBOW CAFE IS OPEN

1 rd 3

Women’s Group on the 1st Floor

of themonth

Thurs.of themonth

3

am pm

WEDNESDAYS

Every

1

st

WEEKLY EVENTS

6-9PM

Except where noted all events take place at The Pride Center 332 Hudson Ave, Albany, NY 12210 The Garden Level can be accessed from the street through the door beneath the front steps

*indicates an outside group that meets at the Pride Center calendar online: www.capitalpridecenter.org/events/calendar.cfm

PRIDE CENTER AFFLIATES EVENTS Weekly Tennis with Saratoga Pride:

We meet every Wednesday at 6pm and Saturday at 10am at the Saratoga State Park.

Please contact Michael if you’re interested in joining us: Michael58785@msn.com.

Proudly continuing to serve as the voice of the LGBT community after 22 years…

Live every Sunday 10AM – 2 PM Check us “OUT”: WRPI 91.5 FM or wrpi.org 518.276.6248 • homoradio.blogspot.com

Thursday 8/21: Saratoga Pride Lesbian Networking Breakfast: 7:30am at Country Corner Café, Church St., Saratoga Springs.

You can find us in the upstairs dining room.

Latecomers welcome! www.saratogapride.com

33

Community Events 8/8: In Our Own Voices

8/23: In Our Own Voices

Back to School Bash, 11am – 4pm.

The Back to School Bash provides FREE SCHOOL Sexversations* 7-9pm.

SUPPLIES to students grades K-12.

Sexversations is a monthly gathering for women of color who have sex with wom- Supplies are limited and are available while they last.

Must have proof of student’s enrollment in school. en. Join us for some intriguing, enticing and thought-provoking conversations! For more information call 518-432-4188. This is not a school sponsored program.

We meet at a different location every The City School District of Albany is not responsible or 2nd Friday of the month. liable for any problems or damages arising from particiPlease call (518) 432-4188. pation in this activity.

8/28:

“Celebrate End of Summer Drum & Dance Jam!” Council of NENY will be conducting Experience Certified Health HIV and STI testing at Rock’s Recon Coaches Sharon Lastique and Party starting at 10pm. We’ll be Chrys Ballerano lead a fun rolling out our camouflagezumba, drum and dance event on themed syphilis campaign!

AUGUST 28th from 7PM-9PM at Testing is free and confidential!

The Women's Building. Open to all!

8/13 and 8/27: In Our Own VoicesLight refreshments provided! Tickets Voices of Unity (Formerly known as at the door: $20 per person or bring a Trans* Care) 6-7:30pm. Voices of Unity friend and pay just $15. is a social group for transgender people of RSVP requested as space is limited. color to share their voices about community (Contact Sharon or Chrys with questions about issues. payment via email: sharonlastique@gmail.com or cbdooly@yahoo.com) 8/30: Holding Our Own presents the “Annual Women’s Building Picnic!”

We provide the music, the beautiful location, the paper products, beverages and protein -hamburgers, hotdogs, veggie burgers, etc. You bring fruit or a dessert to share with friends & any extras you like. Come as early as 12pm to claim your table under the pavilion, take a dip in the lake, get a game of horseshoes going or play some volleyball. Bring the whole family!

12-4pm, Lyon’s Lake, Nassau, NY. Featuring music by DJ Sabrina!

RSVP hoo@holdingourownonline.org or for more info call 518.462.2871 Lesbian identified woman who enjoysto riding her motorcycle? Are you Are you a Lesbian identified woman who enjoys riding her motorcycle? A group to ride with? Have you heard of the illustrious “Dykes on Bikes” looking for a group to ride with? Have you heard of the illustrious “Dykes to yourself, “I’d love to be a member?”

We are trying to put together Sliding scale (we mean it):a $12 suggestedand donation adults; Kids thought to for yourself, “I’d love to be$2 a member?” We are trying to put to

8/9: Project HOPE with the AIDS

apter of DOB!! Contact capitaldistrictdykesonbikes@gmail.com

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! ! ! ! !

Are you a Lesbian identified woman who enjoys!riding her motorcycle? Are you looking for a group to ride with? Have you heard !!of the illustrious “Dykes on Bikes” and thought to yourself, “I’d love to be a member?” ! We are trying to put together a !

NY chapter of DOB!! Contact capitaldistrictdykesonbikes@gmail.com ! ! ! ! ! ! !

! ! ! ! ! !

NY chapter of DOB!! Contact capitaldistrictdykesonbikes@gmail.co

M I CH A EL C OOKS AND YOU CAN TOO

by

Mic hael Meade

Summertime Sparklers Michael Meade graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef at Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy.

Questions and comments are welcomed.

A good summer cocktail is like an instant vacation, no matter where you are! Whether it’s an afternoon backyard BBQ or an evening bonfire on the beach, in summer we are naturally drawn outside to enjoy warmer temperatures paired with lighter, more refreshing cocktails.

We use a lot of citrus to wake up our taste buds, and often incorporate spicy notes in our cocktails that cool us down and keep us coming back for the next sip. Summer is the best season for cocktails, given the wealth of fresh, local ingredients that become available. Head to the farmers’ markets to take advantage of seasonal fruit like peaches, plums and blueberries, as well as fragrant herbs that peak in flavor during the summer months.

Cha - Cha Cocktails

Fresh raspberries macerated in crème de cassis and then bathed in chilled Champagne, with just a hint of grenadine for extra flavor.

• 4 oz. fresh raspberries • 3 Tbs. crème de cassis • 1 bottle (750ml) dry Champagne, chilled • 4 to 6 tsp. grenadine syrup

Put the raspberries in a small bowl, add the crème de cassis and let macerate for at least 30 minutes.

Divide the raspberries among 6 Champagne flutes and pour in the Champagne. Add grenadine and serve immediately. Serves 6.

White Sangria Use whatever stone fruits look freshest at your market to create this refreshing sangria. It’s the perfect cooler for a hot summer day.

• 6 peaches, plums or nectarines, or your favorite combination of stone fruits, halved, pitted and sliced 1/4 inch thick • 1 1/2 cups peach nectar • 1/4 cup orange liqueur, such as Cointreau • 1 bottle (750ml) dry Spanish white wine (white Rioja) or Sauvignon Blanc • 2 cups club soda, or more, to taste • Ice cubes for serving

In a large pitcher, combine the fruit, peach nectar, orange liqueur and wine. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or up to 12 hours. Stir in the club soda and ladle the sangria into ice-filled glasses.

Serve immediately.

Serves 6 to 8.

Cucumber – Lime Coolers (Non-Alcoholic)

In the heat of summer, this refreshing drink is guaranteed to cool you down. You will need 6 or 7 large limes for both the juice and the garnish. Use a mandoline to cut the cucumber and lime slices, which will give you thin, uniform slices.

Watermelon Agua Fresca (Non-Alcoholic)

Mexican agua fresca (lightly sweetened, crushed fresh fruit stirred together with a little water) is a refreshing alternative to iced tea or lemonade. Mix all the ingredients in a large, wide-mouthed jar and set out a ladle alongside, then let guests help themselves.

• 1 very ripe, red seedless watermelon, about 12 lb.

• Juice of 4 limes • 3/4 cup sugar • 1 cup crushed fresh mint leaves, plus sprigs for garnish • 4 cups sparkling water • 3 limes, thinly sliced • 2 quarts ice cubes

Cut the watermelon in half and, using a metal spoon, scoop out the flesh into a large bowl. Working in batches, puree the watermelon in a blender or food processor. As each batch is ready, transfer it to another large bowl.

Add the lime juice, sugar and mint leaves to the puree, and stir to dissolve the sugar and combine the ingredients. Cover and let stand at room temperature for at least 1 hour or up to 3 hours to allow the flavors to develop.

Pour the watermelon mixture through a medium-mesh sieve into a large, clear glass jar. Add the sparkling water, lime slices and ice. Ladle or pour into glasses and garnish each glass with a mint sprig.

Serves 8.

• 1 cup fresh lime juice (4 to 5 large limes) • 6 Tbs. superfine sugar • Ice cubes as needed • 1 bottle (24 fl. oz.) sparkling water, chilled • Thin cucumber slices for garnish • Thin lime slices for garnish

Select 4 old-fashioned or short glasses. Combine 1/4 cup of the lime juice and 1 1/2 Tbs. of the sugar in each glass and stir to dissolve the sugar. Fill the glasses with ice and then top each glass with 3/4 cup of the sparkling water. Garnish each glass with several cucumber and lime slices and serve immediately. Serves 4.

Michael Meade graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York, worked at Jack’s Oyster House in Albany and is currently sous-chef at Thunder Mountain Curry in Troy.

Questions and comments are welcomed.

Send questions or comments to Mmeade1215@aol.com

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TO BE A BLESSING

by

Mayleen Medina

Finding Me This article is one of a series provided by Advocates for Welcoming Congregations, a Capital Region group that encourages the welcoming of LGBT persons into the full life and leadership of communities of faith.

The group also works to make visible for members of the LGBT community opportunities for practicing their faith traditions.

I was the only girl in a strict Roman Catholic Puerto Rican family.

Growing up I loved church but I never loved me. I was taught what to think, how to act and if I sinned I would go to hell. I was never taught self-love. The year I was to be confirmed I was pregnant. A sinner, I could not make my confirmation eight months pregnant. I felt abandoned and ashamed.

As a mom I taught my kids to pray and love God, but I never took them to church. At that point I felt as though religion was just a way to control people and spread hate. I began to develop my own opinions of what God was for me. I believe that no matter what name you use it is all the same creator and the beliefs are similar. The rules -- written by men -- are the only real difference.

God, Allah, Buddha, Great Spirit -- the name is not important. God would not teach us to hate.

When I was 20 I wrote my own prayer (Thank You song) and taught it to my children. During this time if I went to church it was the Unitarian Church because it was welcoming and I would not be treated differently no matter my beliefs, color, sexuality or gender identity. I always taught friends that selflove was important and to follow their hearts and take care of themselves; yet I still did not truly love myself.

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A year ago after struggling long and hard with obesity, depression and codependent relationships, I met a man.

This man is no guru, he is not very spiritual at all. He is simply a friend, a friend that saw “Me” the person I was hiding from the rest of the world.

He woke me up. I had spent 35 years of my life sacrificing my happiness to please others because I was taught that was my duty as a woman and mother.

This friend loved me, not for what I could do for him, but for who I was!

I need to love and honor myself as I would anyone else, but even more, before anyone else because without self-love I am but an empty shell.

Something just clicked inside of me.

Over the next few months I gradually broke down my walls and I found me! I began taking care of myself with diet and exercise. More importantly I began following my dreams. I had wanted to become a Hoopnotica Certified Instructor (Hoop Dance Fitness) for several years, but never believed in myself enough to try. I began daily mantra meditation and hooped when-

ever possible. In January I received five different Hoopnotica certifications and I now teach regularly.

One of my favorite mantras is Om Namah Shivaya, “I bow to Shiva.” In Hinduism Shiva is the supreme reality, the inner Self. It is the consciousness that dwells in all. Shiva is the name of your true self. I now believe that not only do I need to love and honor myself as I would anyone else, but even more, before anyone else because without selflove I am but an empty shell.

For the first time in my life I am healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually and I continue to grow each day.

Finding Me has changed my life more than anything else could. I now have an inner peace that makes me a better mother, friend, teacher and employee.

I have found me and hope you can do the same! I love my life! This is my prayer:

Thank you Lord for creating me Thanks to Allah for my family Grateful to Jah for all things that be Praise the Goddess for bringing children to me...

Mayleen Medina is a mother, teacher, daughter, friend and state worker. She is a Certified Hoopnotica Instructor currently teaching Hooping Fitness at The Yoga Lily in Clifton Park, NY

Welcoming Congregations

Join Us In Exploring Your Spiritual Side At One Of The Welcoming Congregations Below: Community Congregational Church (UCC) 221 Columbia Tpke, Rensselaer, NY www.clintonheightsucc.org Community Reformed Church of Colonie 701 Sand Creek Road, Colonie, NY www.coloniereformed.org (518)869-5589 Congregation Agudat Achim (Conservative) 2117 Union Street, Schenectady, NY www.agudatachim.org (518) 393-9211 Congregation B’nai Shalom (Reform) 420 Whitehall Road, Albany, NY www.bnaishalom.albany.ny.us (518) 482-5283 Congregation Berith Sholom (Reform) 167 Third Street, Troy, NY www.berithsholom.org(518)272-8872 Congregation Beth Emeth (Reform) 100 Academy Road, Albany, NY www.bethemethalbany.org (518)4369761 Congregation Gates of Heaven (Reform) 842 Ashmore Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.cgoh.org (518)374-8173 Congregation Ohav Shalom (Conservative) 113 New Krumkill Road, Albany, NY www.ohavshalom.org Congregation Temple Sinai (Reform) 509 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org (518) 584-8730 Eastern Parkway United Methodist Church 943 Palmer Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.easternparkway.weebly.com (518)374-4306 St George’s Episcopal Church 30 North Ferry St., Schenectady www.stgeorgesschenectady.org

Emmanuel Baptist Church 275 State Street, Albany, NY www.emmanuelalbany.net (518)465-5161 First Church in Albany 110 North Pearl Street, Albany, NY www.firstchurchinalbany.org (518)463-4449 First Congregational Church of Albany UCC & NACCC 405 Quail Street, Albany, NY www.firstcongregationalalbany.org / (518)482-4580 First Lutheran Church 181 Western Avenue, Albany, NY www.FirstLutheranAlbany.org (518)463-1326 First Presbyterian Church 362 State Street, Albany, NY www.firstpresalbany.org (518)449-7332 First Reformed Church 8 North Church Street, Schenectady, NY www.1streformed.com First Unitarian Society of Schenectady 1221 Wendell Avenue, Schenectady, NY www.fussonline.org (518)374-4446 First Unitarian Universalist Society of Albany 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.albanyuu.org (518)463-7135 First United Methodist Church 603 State Street, Schenectady, NY www.gbgm-umc.org/schenectady (518)374-4403 First United Methodist Church, East Greenbush http://www.fumceg.org/ First United Presbyterian Church 1915 Fifth Avenue, Troy, NY www.unitedprestroy.org (518)272-2771 Friends Meeting (Quaker) 727 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY (518) 436-8812

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church 501 Albany Shaker Road, Loudonville, NY www.goodshepherdchurchloudonville. org (518)458-1562 Holy Trinity National Catholic Church 405 Washington Avenue, Albany, NY www.NCCofA.org/holytrin.html (518)434-8861 Journey United Church of Christ 500 Kenwood Blvd, Delmar , NY www.journeyucc.com Presbyterian New England Congregational Church, Saratoga http://pnecchurch.org/ Saratoga Springs United Methodist Church 175 Fifth Avenue, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratogaspringsumc.org / (518)584-3720 Saint Aelred’s Priory and Retreat House (National Catholic) 670 Bunker Hill Road Northville, NY Tel. 518-863-8086 or 518-434-8861 staelredpriory@aol.com St. Andrews Episcopal Church Main at Madison Avenue, Albany, NY www.standrewsalbany.org / (518)489-4747 St. John’s Lutheran Church 160 Central Avenue, Albany, NY www.stjohnsalbany.org (518)465-7545 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga 624 North Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY www.saratoga-uu.org (518)584-1555 Unity Church in Albany 21 King Avenue, Albany, NY www.unitychurchinalbany.org (518)4533603 Woodstock Jewish Congregation (Reconstructionist) 1682 Glasco Turnpike, Woodstock, NY www.wjcshul.org (845)246-1671

Proud To Be Open!

Affirming! Welcoming! Joyous!

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QueerEngineer Get to know us & how you can support LGBTQ* students in science, technology, engineering, & mathematics. /QueerEngineer

Advertisers Index Adirondack Oral Surgery.....11 Albany.com.....28 Albany Gay Men’s Chorus....20 Big Gay Cruise...20 Buenau’s Opticians.....19 Canterbury Animal Hospital.....16 Choices Counseling & Consulting.....23 Connections Psychotherapy.....36 Corey Jamison Consulting...25 Customericty.....26 Joseph Dalton/ Prudential Manor Homes.....36 Delmar Family Medicine.....25 Drue Sanders Custom Jewlers.....9 Jay Zhang Photography.....28 Journey United Church of Christ.....11 JrMac Photography / Massage Therapy.....11 Ronnie Mangione, Financial Advisor.....16 Law Office of Geri Pomerantz.....11 Proctors...39 Queer Engineer.....38 RBC Wealth Management.....19 Joseph Roche, Accounting.....18 Saratoga Pride.....38 Security Plumbing and Heating Supply Supply....26 Skylands Services.....23 Sutton Law Firm.....24 The State Room.....19 Tri City Rentals.....40 United Hearts Ceremonies/Reverend Kay.....23 Welcoming Congregations.....37 Thomas J Walling, CFP® / Cetera Advisor Networks.....25 Mark Witecki CPA.....23

@QueerEngineer

Place your ad in CommUNITY and expand your brand awareness while directly reaching the important LGBTQ market For more information contact Steven @ 518-462-6138 or sminchin@capitalpridecenter.org A Pride Center of the Capital Region affiliate

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AnimationFest 2014 AUGUST 19 – 23

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NEW THIS YEAR: ANIME AFTER DARK! TUESDAY AUGUST 19 Planes (11) 10:00 am Finding Nemo (5) 12 noon The Lego® Movie (6) 2:00 pm Planes (11) 4:00 pm

WEDNESDAY 10:00 am 12 noon 2:00 pm 4:00 pm 6:00 pm 8:00 pm

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AUGUST 20 The Pirate Fairy (10) The Lego® Movie (6) Ernest & Celestine (3) Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2) The Oscar Nominated Short Films 2014: Animation (9) Steamboy (13) (subtitled)

THURSDAY AUGUST 21 10:00 am 12 noon 2:00 pm 4:00 pm

Finding Nemo (5) The Wild (14) The Nut Job (8) The Lego® Movie (6)

6:00 pm

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher (2) Steamboy (13) (subtitled)

8:00 pm

Type Your Movie Info Here

“oscar®” and “academy awards®” are registered trademarks of the academy of motion picture arts and sciences, and used with permission.

8:00 pm

Evangelion: 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone (4) (subtitled) The Sky Crawlers (12)

© 2014 Disney/Pixar

6:00 pm

live action | animation | documentary predict the winners at shorts.tv/theoscarshorts

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8

9

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FRIDAY AUGUST 22 10:00 am 12 noon 2:00 pm 4:00 pm

The Wild (14) The Nut Job (8) Ernest & Celestine The Oscar Nominated Short Films 2014: Animation (9)

6:00 pm 8:00 pm

Metropolis (7) (dubbed) Akira (1) (subtitled) with ICFS*

*Friday, August 22 at 8:00 pm: Akira (subtitled) with additional drinks, prizes, comfy couches, fun and surprises provided by It Came From Schenectady.

SATURDAY AUGUST 23 10:00 am 12 noon 2:00 pm 4:00 pm

Finding Nemo (5) The Pirate Fairy (10) Metropolis (7) (dubbed) Evangelion: 1.11 You Are (Not) Alone (4) (subtitled)

6:00 pm 8:15 pm

Akira (1) (dubbed) The Sky Crawlers (12)

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TICKETS • PROCTORS.ORG • 518-346-6204 PER FILM: $5 adult, $3 child/student FESTIVAL PASS: $25 adult, $15 child/student

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NON-PROFIT US POSTAGE

P AID PERMIT #798 ALBANY, NY

332 Hudson Avenue Albany, NY 12210

Be with us!

Tri City Rentals is a proud supporter of the LGBT community Visit one of our 24 Fine Capital District Apartment Communities

We want to thank the for choosing us as this year’s business of the year!

www.TriCityRentals.com

518.862.6600