Capilano Courier Volume 46 Issue 8 by Capilano Courier

vol ume

VInyl virgins

4608.indd 1

north vancouver

group projects suck

november

5 2012

courier staff drown in red bull

issue

N o . 08

Playboy Origami

12-11-02 9:22 PM

vol ume

46 issue N o . 08

CAPILANO Courier TABLE OF contents news

The Staff 4

of this super neat university newspaper

We're all dying to live

columns

6 JJ Brewis Editor-in-Chief

#HarperStarWars

arts

Giles Roy Managing Editor

Samantha Thompson Copy Editor

We're still talking about pumpkins

features

Giving a rat's ass about publishing

Opinions

Lindsay Howe News Editor

Natalie Corbo Features Editor

Celina Kurz Arts Editor

BeyoncĂŠ strips Lance Armstrong

calendar

Leah Scheitel Opinions Editor

Scott Moraes Caboose Editor

Ricky Bao Business Manager

Check out these warlocks

Anna L. gets some Stefan Tosheff Production Manager

Katie So Art Director

Connor Thorpe Staff Writer

the capilano courier

Ă&#x2014;

volume

46 issue N o . 8

CABOOSE

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism, or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

Shannon Elliott Web Editor

Colin Spensley Distribution Manager

Leanne Kriz Ads & Events Manager

4608.indd 2

12-11-02 9:22 PM

× Letter from the editor ×

DOCTOR, WHO? × ON the Cover ×

REbecca Joy

Rebecca is better known as Becky, and even better known as a super talented lady. Tumblr.com/rmjoy

Featured Contributors Susan Li is a freelance illustrator who enjoys TED talks, doesn’t drink coffee and is able to pin down exactly how she spends each day. “11 hours a day on school work, six sleeping, three on personal artwork, and two each on meals/chores and browsing online and time wasted on trivial matters.” After an injury, Susan took on the super-human power of becoming ambidextrous. “I was naturally left-handed but was trained at a young age to write and draw with my right hand.” Susan’s primary passions are “design, illustration and fine art.” A second-year student in Capilano’s IDEA program, she also brings a diverse background to the plate. “I sat through five years at UBC studying biochemistry. The last two years were special in particular, where I enjoyed the subject despite knowing that this might not be the career direction that I was going for,” she says. Susan is our resident fiction illustrator, you can check out her work every week in the Caboose. View Susan’s portfolio at Mou-s.deviantart.com.

creating a whirlpool of grim death, taking up shares in knives, stabbing me from within every 10 to 20 minutes. “Oh wow JJ, are you hungry?” has become a recurring question, as my loud and obnoxious tummy now finds the need to constantly interrupt my daily interactions with rude roars and moans. It hurts, it’s annoying and it fucking sucks. And no, I’m not very proactive about such things. But I decided this week that maybe I should try and dodge Death in case he was looming, and take myself to a nice quick jaunt to the loathed walk-in clinic to have this beast examined. I figured it would be a fast in-and-out. They’d scan my $2500 valued B.C. Care Card, lay me on a table, cut my stomach open and remove the alien prisoner I’ve been stowing away inside of me, releasing me into the world comfortable and calm once again. I show up at all three walk-in clinics near my home only to discover they’re either “not taking patients,” there are “no walk-in spots today,” or “the next time we can book you is in six days.” Six days? What if E.T. has eaten his way out of my stomach and killed me in my sleep by then? What if he’s baking a fucking pumpkin pie in there and all my vital organs catch fire and I burn to a crisp, and the last concert I ever saw was Waka Flocka Flame!? So the walk-in clinics were a big gigantic failure for me. I took the advice of several friends, and headed to emergency at the closest hospital. Yes, emergencies are notorious for their wait times, so I had no problem sitting there for three hours continuously reading the television’s closedcaptioning about Disney purchasing George Lucas (fuck yes, by the way). Two friends even came to sit with me, watched me give blood, and laughed along with me at my hilarious baseball hat and army boots jarring the pale blue hospital gown. Does all of this sound like kind of a hilarious and fun Tuesday night? Sure. But seriously, all I could think of while I was sitting there were things like how weird it was for the nurse to casually ask me to place my jar of piss on the “pee table,” an over-crowded trolley of various people’s urine. Or how the walls in my examination room were covered in multiple holes and scratches, and the ceiling seemed like it would crash in on me any moment. Or how the doors to the building were knocked off and replaced by shoddy wooden ones that moved at half speed. Meanwhile, where the fuck is my $2500 and what is it getting me? Listen, I’m all for medical equality, and for paying for things that we need, and for all of the kinks in the system to be worked out. But until our hospitals are a bit cleaned up, and doctors are actually available without all the hassle, I just don’t know if I’m comfortable shelling out $64 a month to this system. I’ll keep paying, because I have no choice. But boy oh boy, wouldn’t I rather spend that on another 10 magazine subscriptions.

Featuring: giles Roy

The Voicebox gives you the chance to have your opinion heard, no matter how irrelevant or uninformed. Just send a text message to (778) 235-7835 to anonymously “voice” your “thoughts” on any “subject.” Then, as long it’s not too offensive, we’ll publish it! It’s a win-win-win, unless you’re a loser.

“As much as I love trees, and I do, I'm not such a big fan of the new student lounge. Maybe I'm missing the point of what a lounge is meant to be but it is seriously lacking in tables at a reasonable table height and practical back supporting chairs. I may sound like a ninny pop, but hey, I paid for the damn thing.”

“Happy Halloween, Courier readers!” Halloween was last week. “The new map app on the iPhone is awful! I can't use it to look up transit routes anymore.” The Courier genuinely feels your pain. On the plus side: Apple executive Scott Forstall was actually forced to resign last week, after refusing to apologize for the shittiness of this new app. Vengeance!

“Get some more funny crosswords and games and shit on the back page.” You can tell both of these entries were submitted by two best friends, who were possibly sitting next to each other on the bus at the time. Cute! Thanks for the feedback, guys. Next week we'll publish a maze.

I tried it out, it was really terrific. “You guys mention Batman a lot. Question: Who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?” Not only would Batman win in a fight, Batman did win in a fight. In The Dark Knight Returns, which is the only comic book I've ever read, he shoots kryptonite-tipped arrows at Superman then beats the shit out him to teach him a lesson or something. Then Batman fucking dies of a heart attack. I don't feel bad spoiling that because this comic came out in 1986.

46 issue N o . 08

Please proofread your texts to the voicebox.

“The doors in the basement of the Arbutus building are all automatic so when you walk through them you feel like a wizard! Try it out!”

volume

“Make the next issue with tons of fun shit and crazy story and stuff.”

Ninny pop? Watch your language. Fun fact: Those trees cost thousands of dollars.

4608.indd 3

THE VOICE BOX

× Editor-in-Chief

the capilano courier

Charlie Black is a first year Acting for the Stage and Screen student here at Capilano. Charlie hails from and lives in Surrey, which means he commutes two hours a day. “I get a lot of reading done,” he says. A freelance announcer, Charlie spends his summers at Thunderbird Show Park in Langley, lending his charming voice to the show jumping and grand prix competitions. A d d i t i o n a l l y, Charlie owns a collection of “cartoony, odd and rare” hockey jerseys. One of his more recent pastimes has been learning pop tunes on the piano, including “Mercy” by his favourite rapper, Kanye West. Charlie’s favourite ice cream? Neopolitan of course: “You get three flavours in one!” Follow Charlie’s “occasionally-updated and profane” Twitter, @satellitesorrow.

If there’s one thing I enjoy in life above most things, it’s getting a piece of mail. It’s the best! There’s a reason I subscribe to GQ rather than buying it at the store. Sure, it comes half-folded and arrives a week later than it hits newsstands, but there’s just something wonderful about receiving something at your door. I get happy at the sight of a mere postcard waiting for me. But then there are the bad times. Like this summer, when I got slapped with a $2500 MSP bill that I had no clue was on its way. I mean, obviously I didn’t see that one coming. Or, y’know, I probably would have paid for it on a monthly basis like you’re apparently supposed to. The problem was, until that fateful day, I had no idea whatsoever that MSP payments existed. Call me naïve. But this is Canada, and we have free health care, do we not? Yeah, no. That’s not actually a thing, at all, for us B.C. residents. For those eligible, the service actually comes with a price tag of $12.80-$64, monthly. Keep this in mind, readers, for the moment when you don’t have free coverage anymore. For the longest time, I was just covered by my mom’s medical, or through school, or through work. And then I guess somewhere along the way that just cut out, and my dear friends at the Medical Services Plan of B.C. have just been holding an invisible net, waiting for me like the hand of Death, for the past who-knows-how-long. And when I called them to talk about it, they treated me like a scum bucket, someone whose entire body should be used to wipe the floor of Stephen Harper’s throne room. “How is it possible you didn’t even know you had to pay this?” If I knew, I clearly would have tried to avoid this large bill. “You want me to run this through on your credit card?” No, I don’t really have an extra two-and-a-half grand lying around. “You say you’re a student. Why not use your student loan to pay it off?” Well, actually I don’t have a student loan, and I think it’s quite questionable that a government employee is telling me to use a student loan to pay for something unrelated to my education. For me, the most frustrating part about the whole process is not that I have to pay for something. No, that I am actually okay with. But the fact that is, more often than not, I am paying for nothing. This isn’t to say I am some form of super-human (although I like to think I am), but I honestly just don’t get sick very often. I don’t have a family doctor, and walk-in clinics are the worst place in the world, in my opinion. The fact that I’ve been pretty healthy was reason enough for me to not have to change anything in the situation. So there I went, casually making big monthly payments, chipping away at this massive debt that I had no clue I was accumulating, grumbling through in relatively perfect health. Until recently. It turns out that somewhere along the way, my stomach decided to try my super-human theory on for size, and started

By JJ Brewis

12-11-02 9:22 PM

NEWS

News Editor ×

Lindsay Howe × n e w s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

MORE WORK, LESS PLAY New study shows quality of life in Canada is on the decline Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer

Despite Canada’s relatively graceful recovery from the worldwide economic meltdown of 2008, the quality of life Canadians experience is on the decline. According to the Canadian Index of Wellbeing (CIW), a study conducted in conjunction with the University of Waterloo, Canadians’ quality of life plummeted by 24 per cent between 2008 and 2010. Based on CIW findings, the culprit is an excessive focus on the economy and issues related to it. “In a society that is preoccupied with the economy and working hard, among the first casualties are those things that ironically matter to us the most,” says Dr. Bryan Smale, Director of the Canadian Index of Wellbeing. “In a society that celebrates working hard and ‘being busy,’ we forget to protect time for family and friends, and to enjoy those pursuits that bring meaning to our lives. We want to bring some balance to the conversation by reminding people that a good life includes those things that too many people regard as being less important than work and making money.” The correlation between wellbeing and economics has been demonstrated by earlier CIW studies. From 1994 to 2008, Canadian wellbeing – as measured by the CIW – rose by 7.5 per cent. In the aftermath of the economic crisis, and Canada’s subsequent recovery, that number dropped by 5.7 per cent in just a two-year period. “The concern then – and even more so now – was that policy was being driven primarily by a concern with the economy and little else,” Smale continues. “Our concern was that Canadians’ wellbeing was suffering because we were not attending to other aspects of our lives that contributed to quality of life. Certainly, the economy matters, but [not] to the exclusion of everything else that makes our lives worthwhile.” Canadian quality of life has primarily taken a hit in the broader areas of environment, time use

×× Peter pawloski and leisure and culture, though Smale explains that the CIW is based on 64 specific indicators. “Among the indicators that showed the greatest declines were such things as: fewer social contacts, worsening green gas emissions, a larger ecological footprint, an increase in the percentage of people with diabetes, continuing declines in visitation to our national parks and historic sites,” Smale explains. “Less volunteering for culture and recreation organizations, less time spent in social leisure, reduced economic security, increased long-term unemployment, longer commute times, and perhaps most troubling, [a] growing income gap between rich and poor.” In Smale’s opinion, that income gap and reduction of the middle class is where the problem lies. “The growth in an economy is not necessarily a bad thing, but the increasing income disparity with those at the lower end stagnating and the middle class shrinking that seems to be accompanying this period of slow recovery is jeopardizing other aspects of our lives,” he

continues. “Adherents to ‘trickle-down’ economics have failed to produce any evidence that the wealth generated at the top of society has benefited those at the bottom.” While it might seem that an economic recovery would increase social engagement, leisure time and cultural participation, the solution is not that simple unless “that recovery creates more opportunity for everyone.” “The wellbeing associated with engagement in leisure and cultural pursuits does not simply require having sufficient funds to purchase recreational products and services,” Smale explains. “There must be the will among policy makers to ensure that such opportunities are available to all and that economic pressures do not bring about the decline of leisure, recreation, arts and cultural services, programs and other opportunities. It is through our social relationships in leisure, our time spent in meaningful pursuits, and our enjoyment of the people and the world around us that enrich our lives, bring us closer together, and defines our humanity, that matter.”

It’s important to understand that the CIW’s definition of wellbeing does not equate to general public happiness. “Quality of life – or wellbeing – is a broader concept that includes both those things that are internal to us like our health, happiness and life satisfaction, as well as those things that are external to us that affect our quality of life, such as our social relationships, our environment, our communities and access to opportunities to enhance our lives,” says Smale. “Happiness is really linked to just emotion and general life satisfaction, although many others treat it as equivalent to wellbeing, perhaps because it is a more familiar concept to people.” Smale emphasizes, “Happiness is about emotion, whereas wellbeing is about flourishing in our lives.” Learn more about the Canadian Index of Wellbeing at Uwaterloo.ca/canadian-indexwellbeing.

NOT ALWAYS BUSINESS AS USUAL

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

New business program offers ESL students another option

4608.indd 4

Lindsay Howe × News Editor Beginning in Jan. 2013, Capilano University will be adding another program to the long list of available options. Capilano University’s School of Business, English for Academic Purposes department, and the Centre for International Experience have pooled their knowledge and resources together to form a new program titled the Business Administration for International Students Diploma (BAID). The new program aims to give students who have an advanced level of ESL an opportunity to build their English language competency while learning business English and other academic course materials. Donna Hooker, the director of the Capilano Centre for International Experience explains that it was time for the implementation of this program. “Non-native English speakers often

get frustrated when they reach the more advanced levels of ESL study. By then, these students have often studied English for some time and want to get on with their academic studies,” she says. Although this particular program will be new as of January, the program does contain similarities to current ESL programs available at Capilano. Currently, Capilano offers an ESL Plus Business, and an ESL Plus Arts and Sciences program, both of which function in a similar manner to the new program. In the ESL Plus programs, however, students are able to choose any Business or Arts or Sciences class that is available upon registration, as opposed to more specific program requirements that will exist within the new program. “This new program is based on a cohort model, where students with similar language challenges are working together and faculty are introducing them to business English, business concepts and also to the typical Canadian classroom environ-

ment and expectations,” explains Hooker. “The non-ESL courses taught in this program tend to be more numeracy-based at the beginning with course demand and intensity increasing as the student’s language level increases.” Program requirements for the new program are equivalent to the requirements for the ESL Plus programs, where students study all ESL topics and take one academic elective. To be considered for entrance into either the new program or the existing ESL Plus programs, students must be able to meet the entrance requirements for EAP070, which can be found on the Capilano University website. As for the amount of interest surrounding the new program, Hooker comments, “There is a growing interest in this program … Capilano is considering reducing the program to a oneyear transition program which prepares students for second year of the Business Administration diploma or the Bachelor of Business

Administration degree. [The university] is also considering the development of other similar transition programs for students who are not native English speakers.“ As for what type of courses students will actually be required to take if registered in the new program, the required classes mirror many of the regular Business Administration diploma programs. Required classes in the new program include Business Statistics, Financial Accounting, Organizational Behavior, Marketing and many other business orientated classes, alongside advanced ESL courses. As for what careers graduates of the Business Administration for International Students diploma would be prepared for, Hooker says, “Students graduating from this program would be prepared to work in similar careers as any student graduating with a Business Administration diploma.”

12-11-02 9:22 PM

NEW SPACE FOR STUDENTS Unfortunately not as good as outer space Celina Kurz × Arts Editor If students have walked between the Library building and Birch or Arbutus lately, chances are they will have noticed that some unusual structures have been taking form. The two pavilions currently under construction in this area, as well as the new First Nation’s student meeting place recently constructed right next to the new lounge for the Capilano Students’ Union, are a part of an overall plan to turn spaces in the school more suited to student gathering. Mark Clifford, Director of Contract Services at Capilano University, explains that the two pavilions being built are in fact not part of the same project. “They’re combined projects because they’re built at the same time and they’re consistent in design, but they’re actually two different projects.” The construction is being contracted by Aberdane Construction Ltd., the same company that built the new CSU lounge. The structure directly at the entrance of the Arbutus and Library buildings is referred to as the “Library Arbutus Courtyard,” and is funded using money from the school’s budget. The other is an extension of the recently constructed Aboriginal student meeting space, and received government funding for its construction. “The government gave a bunch of institutions, including Capilano, $600,000,” explains Clifford. “So we’re using that funding to [construct] the Aboriginal gathering place.” The cost of the two projects combined equals approximately $750,000. The spaces will both primarily function as open student spaces. “On a nice day, it’ll be a nice place for you to sit back,” Clifford explains. “[It’s] really meant to be a public space just for everybody ...

I bet you could even have a barbeque there in the future.” Additionally, the Aboriginal gathering space will supply First Nations students and staff with “an area to have ceremoniesm or whatever they want.” It will eventually also feature two traditionally-carved posts featuring bears, honouring that Capilano University lies on traditional hunting ground. “The bears will be looking like they’re holding up the roof,” says Clifford. “One of them’s going to be a kind of fierce-looking bear, the other, more of a mother bear with her cub.” The construction has affected the campus in terms of certain areas and pathways being closed off at various times, but according to Clifford, those in charge “tried to keep it as open as possible for access.” While he admits that “during the summertime we blocked off quite a bit of it,” he also adds, “Our term is not as big in the summer, so the impact on employees and students on the campus is much less. When it came to the September term, we opened up the two pathways.” However, access has been off and on. Clifford explains that they had to close it off at one point for health and safety reasons. The beginning procedures of demolition and excavation of sites for these projects began in May 2012, and there were a few hiccups in

the path to its completion. According to Clifford, the original end date was “about two months ago,” but delay in getting some of the supplies needed, as well as some minor redesigns, resulted in an extended period of construction. The current end date is predicted to be around Nov. 10. Both pavilions are evidence of a shift in the school’s attitude towards the campus as social space, and further expansion into this concept will show up in other areas of the school. Clifford explains, “In various buildings you’ll see some furniture appear. We tried to identify nooks and crannies around [campus] … where we can put some soft seating and then the students can

come and sit and relax.” He points out the “stairwell to nowhere” in the Library building as one such place, as well as the school cafeteria, saying, “How can we make that a better space for people, a more comfortable space?” International students also have a new space to look forward to, with the Centre for International Students currently in the works. The face of the North Vancouver campus has been evolving over the last few years, and these new structures add to that changing face, with more in store. “There are lots of changes,” explains Clifford. “It’s just when they happen, and what they’re actually going to look like, [that] is the question.”

×× Victoria Furuya

Growing up, differently Carmen Aguirre talks happiness after hardship Rebecca MacMurchy × Writer “As my mother had explained, if we were to keep people safe and transport goods across the borders without being caught, we had to hold our beliefs inside.” – Something Fierce, by Carmen Aguierre

In life post-movement Aguirre found herself pursuing her “calling” of being an actress, a choice made very difficult by her past. “Being in the resistance is actually the worst thing that can happen to you if you want to be an actor because it requires you to shut down, but my body and face would act as a shield. I spent about four years living in chronic terror … chronic terror is not good when you’re training to be an actor.” For quite some time Aguirre found herself unable to let go of the training she had received, and it took her many years to break down her barriers in order to be free with herself in the art of acting. Aguirre has nonetheless become very skilled in her craft: She has written and co-written over 20 plays and has over 60 film, TV and stage acting credits. Aguirre is working towards meeting a deadline for her second book, a memoir titled Mexican Hooker #1, in which she describes the struggles of being a Latin American actress in North American culture.

× volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 5

in a way that was relatable to readers, and she did so by offering a brutally honest account which parallels her commitment to the movement and her exploration into adulthood and sexual desire. “When you’re in a resistance like the Chilean resistance, there is no room for yourself. So having a personal life is an act of treason. You do not put your personal life first; you are there to serve your community, to serve a cause.” Aguirre admittedly sacrificed a huge portion of her youth for the resistance movement. In addition to turning down the opportunity for a full scholarship to study medicine at the age of 16, she postponed her lifelong dream of being an actor. Aguirre attributes her ability to ignore her goals for the greater purpose of serving her community, seeing herself as lucky to be raised in a collectivist society as opposed to the individualistic views of consumer North America. Aguirre’s attitude towards her life in the resistance is very positive; she makes a point to say she holds no resentment towards her mother for involving her at such a young age. Her sister Ale, however, holds the opposite perspective. Aguirre describes her sister as being completely apolitical, almost having a violent reaction to politics. Ale holds anger towards their parents for pushing her into a childhood laced with danger and risk, and while she is very supportive of Carmen’s memoir, she believes their struggles were underplayed to readers.

the capilano courier

The Women’s Studies Department was pleased to host Carmen Aguirre on Oct. 31 as she shared with students her “Reflections on being a Female Revolutionary.” Aguirre is an actress and playwright, but is best known for her award-winning memoir Something Fierce, which was the number one national bestseller, and winner of CBC’s 2012 Best Read’s award. In her memoir, Aguirre tells readers her story from a child protagonist’s point of view. Following the milatary takeover of the Chilean government in 1973, led by dictator Augusto Pinochet, Aguirre and her family fled Chile to seek refuge in Vancouver – where they remained until Carmen was 11 years old. In the time that passed Pinochet had continued his violent coup, jailing an estimated 130,000 people and killing at least 3,000. Among Pinochet’s targets were the educated and informed; those who considered themselves socialist were the greatest threat to his neo-liberalist way of

thinking. In 1979, after five years of living a relatively “normal” childhood, Aguirre was informed by her mother that they would return as a family with stepfather, Bob to South America to open a safe house in Bolivia. Aguirre read an excerpt to the audience, which accounted the events of her first-ever “mission” for the underground movement. Aguirre and her sister, Ale were instructed by their mother and stepfather on a journey they would be making across border lines joined by another woman, also a member of the party. Carmen and Ale were to pretend they didn’t know this woman, who was carrying goods across border lines. In the years that followed she continued participation in the resistance, formally enlisting at the age of 18, an act which Aguirre considered her duty to her country. “I think that anything that happens to you when you’re young will affect you for the rest of your life,” says Aguirre. She shares with students skills she learned during the resistance: “You’re trained to have your radar up all the time … you’re also trained to read people at one glance. You are able to walk into a room and in one glance identify possible informant, possible militant, completely apolitical … those are the exits if I need to get the fuck out of here.” Aguirre makes a point to state she did not write her memoir for personal catharsis, it was intended for public consumption. Aguirre wanted to write

12-11-02 9:22 PM

Columns

Columns Editor ×

GALLERY

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

Jillian Aquino × Columnist

Dorothy Stratten’s life in folds On a block filled with ESL schools and lunch spots, there is a gallery on the second floor of a nightclub. In fact, the last time I entered this building was for a Lil’ B show cut short by someone pulling a fire alarm. In the daytime, the building is quiet amidst the bustle of students and restaurants around it and I almost walk right past the entrance. I proceed through the same dark concrete corridor I did the last time, but instead of going into the club I turn left into a small, nondescript elevator that brings me up to a surprisingly large and serene windowless white space. I am in the heart of bustling downtown Vancouver, looking at origami in what used to be an A&B Sound. I’m here to see Dorothy, a show by Myfanwy MacLeod at Satellite Gallery. MacLeod is perhaps best known for her pair of giant, beautiful and creepy sparrow statues, The Birds in Olympic Village. This show is considerately more intimate but the sinister beauty remains. The exhibition consists of large-scale paper origami and photographs of smaller origami folded from Vancouver-born Dorothy Stratten’s centrefolds in Playboy magazine. Stratten’s story is a unique tragedy: as a teenager she was discovered working at a Dairy Queen on East Hastings by promoter Paul Snider. Snider became her manager, and the two married shortly after. Snider, an erstwhile pimp, arranged for professional nude photos to be taken of her and then sent them to Playboy, where she became August 1979 Playmate of the Month and Playmate of the Year in 1980. Stratten began working as an actress in Los Angeles and started a relationship with the director Peter Bogdonavich, whom she left her

husband for. When she attempted to divorce at times it is difficult to tell what body part I Snider, he brutally murdered her and then killed am even looking at. Her first name, Dorothy, is spelled out in gold-foiled late ‘70s style font on himself. Dorothy Stratten died at 20 years old. The aftermath of Stratten’s death left behind the wall and spotlighted, reflecting back as you an infatuated public. Jamie Lee Curtis played walk by. The work is displayed in two ways, on her in a TV movie called Death of a Centerfold: the wall photographs of origami are lit up in The Dorothy Stratten Story. A few years later peachy-beige frames reminiscent of the time another movie about Stratten, Star 80, period when she passed away with serene titles was filmed in Vancouver starring Muriel like Artifact, Fishbowl or Cormorant on a Rock. Hemingway and Eric Roberts. In an In the middle of the room seemingly harmless, unsettling move, the director with whom elegant origami figures of a swan, a lover’s knot, and other animals she had an affair, are placed atop low Bogdonavich, went plinths, each sized on to marry Stratten’s according to their younger sister and origami figure. wrote a book about Origami is such his experience called an intricate art that The Killing of the it is unsettling to Unicorn: Dorothy see parts of StratStratten 1960-1980 ten in the folds, A general sense her image again of unease permeates being presented for this show, with Stratconsumption, ten’s sad and sala×× courtesy of presentation gallery cious story at the centre, hitting close to home. only this time in a different context. McLeod Even though the space is welcoming and bright, addresses our voyeurism with some tenderwith touches like soft lighting, pleasingly simple ness – after all, origami paper cranes are photography and origami placed in the centre of the often used as symbols of remembrance for room, here Dorothy Stratten is seen only through those that have passed, but she also does not glimpses – a fold reveals a glance of lathered soapy hesitate to force the viewer into confronting the skin on one piece of origami, another a kohl-lined manipulation of Stratten. Dorothy eye. The Playboy pictures, originally intended to Stratten was used by those closest to her, be sexy, here become distorted and disturbing. including her husband and her lover. Though Stratten is reduced to her parts on creased this time Stratten is being shaped by a segments of paper – a thigh, her blonde hair, a woman’s feminist lens through art, rather than by nipple. Her image has been so abstracted, that Hugh Hefner in Playboy or in biopics about her

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

tragedy, something is amiss. McLeod and the curator Reid Shier acknowledge this absence in the show’s description, which says that “Through a process of folding and unfolding, the works come to represent what Playboy founder Hugh Hefner has stated constitutes the ‘ideal’ centerfold – one in which ‘a situation is suggested: the presence of someone not in the picture.’” Hefner’s intent was to excite his primarily male “readers” but McLeod switches that up here. In these works McLeod shows that it is Dorothy Stratten herself that is missing - her parts are there and her image remains, but she, her whole self, is gone. I leave Dorothy, get into the elevator and descend back downstairs to the nightclub entrance. On the bus home I can’t help but wonder about Dorothy, where she would have frequented in this city, how glamorous all of the changes in her life would have seemed going from grey Vancouver to sparkling Los Angeles. My curiosity gets the best of me and I go home and watch her Playmate of The Year interview with Johnny Carson on Youtube. Merely four months before her death, Carson tells her she looks as pretty in real life as she does in her photographs, pointing out that it isn’t always the case. Stratten, her whole life ahead of her, responds with a polite “thank you.” Jillian Aquino lives her life through a funnel in which everything around her is artful, from her grocery store purchases to the layout of her bookshelves. Jillian is fascinated with the contemporary world and the way humans interpret it. Especially if that way happens to be insightful and beautiful.

Yvette Yardanoff × Columnist

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

A cultural collision

4608.indd 6

In my first three installments of this column, I spoke to the food-related practices of self-care: healthy food choices, using meals as a means to bond socially, and how to organize a self-dictated cooking regime. I love cooking for myself, as it empowers me to be detailed in what goes into my eating. There is no greater way to take control of your health than by meticulously shopping for, and preparing, meals and snacks that are not only tasty but better for yourself health-wise. Even with those advantages, we can’t discount the pleasures of dining out. For some of us, restaurant eating is a reality, whether because of time constraint or choice. But too often we can end up set in our ways when it comes to the restaurants we frequent. The thing about living in Vancouver is that there are so many choices, which can be both a blessing and a curse. Here then, is one of my favourite dining spots, perfect for those on a budget, and for fans of exotic flavours: the long-standing Jambo Grill. I could go on and on about this place, mentioning every little ingredient, process and unique spice blend, but I won't. You're just going to have to experience it for yourself.

The Lower Mainland is home to plenty of ethnic-themed restaurants of all types, but what makes this one interesting is its combinations of cross-cultural cuisines. We're talking about Khoja style cooking at its finest, a marriage of cooking practices and spice combinations from India, Iran and East Africa. The first thing I am hit with when I open the door at Jambo Grill is the aroma of mouth-watering spices. The servers know the menu well and are able to answer any questions you may have. If you have any dietary restrictions, they can point you in the right direction. The owner has been known to visit each table, ensuring that you are nothing less than a happy camper. There truly is so much to sample on their menu, from appetizers to desserts. If you're able to go with a few people, do so – you can share the food, discover your favourites and broaden your horizons. If you're celebrating your birthday, you eat for free in a group of four or more. That sure beats the free cardboard birthday “meal” at Denny's. Sorry, that's actually an insult to cardboard. Traditional piping hot chai tea is always on the stove. If you're looking for something refreshing,

have a look at the selection of more exotic sodas. They have also imported bottles of beer and the usual assortment of cocktails. The winners for me are the mango lassi and the Mombasa lemon iced tea, muddled with mint leaves. It can easily morph into a cocktail as well. Something I have ordered on more than one occasion is the biryani. The chicken is my favourite so far, but I have yet to try them all. The biryanis have a very zesty yogurt sauce, so if you don't eat dairy, this will help narrow down your selection. The vegetarian curries are even better with warm naan garlic bread. I find the kabobs to be well seasoned, but a bit dry, by nature. You might want to pair them with one of their many chutneys. Why not try a thali? A thali, the Hindi word for “plate,” is made up of various dishes. Their mini thali and gujrati thali are steals, veg or non-veg, and both come with dhaal. I absolutely love this style of dhaal, reminiscent of a thicker rasam, tart and smoky, with peanuts too. And for the carnivores, you won't be disappointed with the selection of tandoor and Masai beef ribs, goat, lamb or their special Pilli Pilli Chicken Tikka. For a lighter protein, prawns, tilapia and halibut are

featured as well. There are plenty of restaurants all over the Lower Mainland that can fill in on the times when you just don’t have an opportunity to cook for yourself. And let’s be honest, we all deserve to treat ourselves and loved ones out to a nice dining experience once in a while. As satisfying as it is to sit down in front of a meal you’ve prepared for yourself, it’s also nice to sit back and chat with friends, and let a trusted source do the work for you. The Jambo Grill is located at Located in Vancouver at 3219 Kingsway. For more information visit Jambogrill.ca. Yvette Yardanoff has worked in kitchens since her youth and traveled the world enough to know basically everything there is to know about food. From choosing unique ingredients to sitting down with a carefully prepared meal, Yvette believes the entire process is integral to one's happiness.

12-11-02 9:22 PM

IN DA HOUSE

Samantha Thompson × Columnist

The secret world of Politwits

Samantha Thompson is the most politically savvy member of the Courier staff. When not swooning over various MPs, she also enjoys teen pop stars, Disney films, and the wizarding world of British novels.

Sam’s Guide to Ottawa’s Twitter Featuring her new bios for them. Politicians to Follow: Elizabeth May @ElizabethMay The MP who kicks ass at Twitter and is actually worth following. Stephen Woodworth @WoodworthMP Loves debating abortion, especially when restricted by 140 characters. Justin Trudeau @JustinTrudeau Tweets about where he is and where he’s going to be. Sometimes includes pics of his adorable kids. Thomas Mulcair @ThomasMulcair Leader of the NDP, makes funny puns. Political Commentators Kady O’Malley and Aaron Wherry @kady and @aaronwherry These two journalists, from CBC and Maclean’s, respectively, know what’s going on in Ottawa and explain it to you in plain English. I swear they live in the House of Commons – that’s how often they’re tweeting about it. Satirical Accounts Not Steve Harper @pmoharper What Harps would tweet if he was awesome, including #HarperStarWars Some Hon. Members @SomeHonMembers Short, sweet, to the point: “Hear, hear!” Vic Danger Toews @DangerToews Danger is his middle name.

× volume

×× Arin ringwald

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 7

in the odd one about what how they’re spending their day. Trudeau tweeted a photo of his new Lego set, which depicts the wrestling match he won earlier this year in Fight for the Cure. Clement recently tweeted “Practicing ‘What I Like About You’ on my guitar. #scary.” Tweets like these are what enable Twitter-users to talk to their MPs as if they were regular people, instead of frightening politicians who simply debate policy all day. This is particularly important in removing the disconnect between MPs and voters, something which is very prevalent in today’s political sphere. In a poll released earlier this year, 95 per cent of Canadians surveyed felt that politicians were disconnected from everyday people. It is hopeful that as more politicians begin to use Twitter, this statistic will begin to change – especially as the way MPs communicate with voters is also undergoing drastic change. For years, Town Halls were used as the primary way for politicians to crowdsource their constituents. Now, however, they can simply hold a “Tweet Chat” and dedicate an hour or so to answering people’s questions. This is useful for MPs who do not regularly use Twitter, because the allotted timeslot can be used to connect with constituents without the 24-7 time commitment required by those who are on Twitter on a more frequent basis. Green Party leader Elizabeth May is an excellent example of this: she regularly responds to tweets, and in fact has the best Twitter account of any MP presently in the House. She tweets about what she is going to do in the House before she actually does it, she keeps her followers abreast of what is going on in Ottawa, and she also tweets when something happens that is unjust. To the Twitter sphere, May is a committed, justice-seeking MP – which is precisely how she wants to be seen. She is using Twitter to further her reputation, and to ensure people are aware of the actions she is taking on their behalf. In short, May is doing it right. Unfortunately, there are also those politicians who are doing it very wrong. Stephen Woodworth, MP for Kitchner Centre, is one such example. He uses his Twitter account frequently, which is awesome, but as he was creator of Motion 312, he receives a lot of negativity from people who believe he’s wrong in his beliefs about abortion. Instead of just leaving the angry dogs alone, he pokes

them with a stick, over and over again. People will tweet pro-choice sentiments, and Woodworth will respond with things like, “I’m afraid you’re raving!”, When when someone said, “Stephen– your motion is dead. Respect democracy,” he replied, “The ideal of enshrining recognition of equality&worth of every humanbeing isn’t dead! [sic]” Now, I understand the desire to tweet your opinion about everything (that’s what my Twitter account is for, obviously), but as an elected politician in office, there are some restrictions on what you can and cannot say if you want to be politically intelligent. Free speech is important, but an MP who tweets at followers, sarcastically responding or implying that they are not intelligent, is not going to be an MP for much longer. Voters do not enjoy being made to feel stupid, it’s that simple. Stephen Harper’s Twitter account is in a realm all its own. Most of his tweets are measured, and don’t take any risks. Recently though, he’s started tweeting more frequently about things not directly related to the governance of the House. Last week, he tweeted about Halloween at 24 Sussex Drive, including the trick-or-treaters that came to visit and the 170 pumpkins his wife Laureen, Rona Ambrose and friends carved up for the occasion. His Twitter account makes him seem a little more human, but it still manages to be irritating – instead of Twitpics, Harper links to short YouTube videos of all his activities. The fact that our politicians are gradually all moving to Twitter to communicate with their constituents is a great thing, because it gives Canadians an easy way to engage in politics. However, the most important lesson that MPs can learn is how easily their tweets can make – or break – their reputation. In the meantime, we’ll continue watching the tweets with avid fascination. Naturally, with the start of Movember, we can expect the MPs will be tweeting the Twitpics of their ‘staches. Unsurprisingly, Harper has already tweeted his 20-second video.

the capilano courier

When you think about it, being a politician is a strange profession. You’re elected to your job, and once you’re in Ottawa you get promoted from plain old Canadian to almost-celebrity. This status is what distorts politics in Canada, because politicians continue saying all the stuff they said before they had this “celebrity status,” but now that the public are paying attention, these political celebs say even more. In the days before social media was a thing (hard to imagine, I know), this wasn’t a significant problem. Politicians could say whatever they wanted, but people wouldn’t hear about it unless the media reported on it, or if they shouted it repeatedly in Question Period. But now, most MPs and MP-hopefuls have Twitter, and all they do all day long is tweet. Now, this is great for someone like me, who sometimes feels a little lonely because I have so few friends actually care when I start spouting off about how significant the ties politicians wear are (they are important, I swear). I go on Twitter, spend hours skimming Canada’s political hashtags (#cdnpoli and #hw), and feel a little better about myself. I’m one of those people who follows more MPs on Twitter than actual celebrities, and as a result my feed is constantly filled with political tweets, broken up on the rare occasion with a tweet about Lindsay Lohan’s feelings about hurricanes (which apparently only happened because her account was hacked?) But more importantly, Twitter has begun to play an important role in the dialogue of Canadian politics. Politicians are able to communicate directly with their constituents (and unlike most celebrities, some of them even reply to your tweets on a semi-regular basis), garner opinions about bills before they head into the House to debate them, and tweet their stance on an issue so that it is clear to voters, instead of having to decipher complicated party policy. Twitter even allows constituents to take to the Internet in order to vent their frustrations about the outcome of a particular debate. An example of this occurred recently, when Rona Ambrose, the Minister for the Status of Women, voted in favour of Motion 312 which would have reopened the debate on abortion in Canada. The political pundits, those who watch the goings-on of the House with eagle eyes, noticed this and started tweeting about it. Others who only casually pay attention to politics, saw the tweets and added their own outrage – and soon it was all anyone on the #cdnpoli hashtag could talk about. Certainly, the tweets didn’t really “do” anything, but they started a conversation about something that may have otherwise gone unnoticed. However, as with any new technology, there are people who are really good at using it, and then there are those who really shouldn’t even be on the Internet. MPs have responded to the popularity of Twitter in one of three ways: they have a Twitter account, which they use regularly to let constituents know what is going on in Ottawa and how they feel about different issues; they have a Twitter account but don’t use it (I refer to these as “placeholder” accounts because they only exist to prevent someone else from using their name as a parody account); or they have a Twitter account and use it incorrectly, tweeting sarcastic or stupid tweets that are rapidly destroying any thread of a good reputation their publicist managed to establish. There are a number of MPs who maintain notoriously well-used Twitter accounts: Hedy Fry, Justin Trudeau, Niki Ashton and Tony Clement, among the group. Although a majority of their tweets are about federal politics, they also throw

12-11-02 9:22 PM

Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

HE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE

Giles Roy × Columnist

GOMORRAH’S SEASON ENDS Is Mother Gaia trying to kill us? In short: No, of course not, Mother Gaia isn’t a real person and to think the Earth is capable of “trying” to do something is dumb, and don’t be dumb, you dumb idiot. But also: Yes! On Oct. 27, a magnitude 7.7 earthquake hit the northern British Columbian coast, killing no people (remarkably), but scaring the bejeezus out of a few thousand. Among the terrified: seismologists who genuinely don’t know what to make of the occurrence. The fact that so much of seismology is still a guessing game is jarring. We obviously understand how plate tectonics work (impossibly large chunks of Earth slip and slide around on each other like so many greased-up wrestlers before them) and we can vaguely predict with limited accuracy when a quake is going to hit (a recent controversial Italian court decision actually sent six seismologists to prison for insufficiently warning the public about a fatal 2009 earthquake). But it’s a relatively inexact science, which has now presented itself as a direct concern for us, locally. A 7.7 earthquake in such a tectonically volatile region could honestly either mean that more plate activity is imminent, or it could mean that a bit of that tectonic pressure has been relieved, buying

us more precious years until the “big one” hits – the one we’ve been hearing about since elementary school. This will eventually happen either way, of course. And when it does, we’ll be about as prepared as we are now, which is to say, not at all. Because like most heavily populated places, our city didn’t really take earthquakes into consideration when we were building our skyscrapers and roads. Vancouver will end up on the list of obliterated cities that were largely, smugly unprepared. Meanwhile, on the other side of this continent, New York’s been pummeled with the worst storm in its history, with damage reaching as far north as Toronto and as far south (seriously) as Haiti. Again, the death toll from Hurricane Sandy is relatively low – at press time, all affected regions have counted a cumulative 72 fatalities – but the sheer surprise of it all has been the storm’s most devastating aspect. Floods, for example, have rendered large portions of the New York’s legendarily vital subway system useless until its 209 miles have been personally assessed for damage by city staff – and that can’t even happen until after the thing dries out. Sandy itself is a sort of mystery. Comprised of a tropical storm aligned with an extra-tropical

storm, it’s been dubbed a “frankenstorm” by media and meteorologists alike, which is apt a description as any. Because like Frankenstein’s monster, it’s two things: a patchwork of various parts and man-fucking-made. Sure, there wasn’t a mad scientist toiling away in an Atlantic Ocean cave creating a literal hurricane (I mean, probably not), but the correlation between batshit insane weather patterns and pollution-driven climate change is undeniable at this point. Which doesn’t even mean that we caused Sandy, but rather that we destabilized the meteorological patterns of the places in which storms like Sandy usually happen. In other words, we gave Mother Nature a kitchen and the ingredients for Sandy, and she made a big ol’ soup. At any rate, one can’t “blame” a storm like this on anything (or anyone) in particular – obviously. Certain United States democratic representatives’ recent attempts to directly do so, and subsequently capitalize on the political implications of being greener than their opponents, are laughable. But general arrogance with regards to these issues is a tangible problem – one that can be blamed on just about everyone in the Northern Hemisphere. People always talk about how we’re “killing the Earth,” but it’s becoming

increasingly apparent that the Earth will long outlive us. Consider that even if we wrecked our planet in all of the worst ways – greenhouse pollution, depletion of vital resources, and even nuclear fallout – it would take a few hundred years for the human race to finish itself off entirely, and a few hundred thousand for the Earth to naturally find its way back to normal. The planet can quite handily survive an apocalypse. Let’s not forget that it has before. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, it’s just that – wait, actually, I am trying to make you feel bad. Because you did this! You, with your headphones in and your smartphone out and your other polluting luxuries on standby. Your car and your diet and your wicked, utter apathy. You may not have killed the planet but you killed every human on it. And some of those guys were pretty alright. Giles Roy is trying his best to put modern scientific developments into laymen’s terms for you, the non-science-care-about-er. This makes sense because Giles is about as “lay” as it gets. If you’re a real scientist, cringing at every sentence in this column, he’s dreadfully sorry.

× Staff Editorial ×

sorry for Party-thrashing Stefan Tosheff

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

× Production Manager

4608.indd 8

Last week’s cover story on cults got my good old mind cogs a spinnin’. Cults have an (understandably) bad rap. It might be all the news stories about “mass suicide” and movie masterpieces like Drive Angry that have warped the public’s views on the subject. This got me thinking that maybe it didn’t have to be this way, and hey, how hard could it be to start a cult? I mean, that science fiction nerd did it, so why can’t I? It would help if I had some physical similarities with Jesus or Avril Lavigne, but I still feel like I should try. I could start the first fun cult –– a cult all about having a good time, injecting some positivity into this whole dark and grim thing cults have going on. Let’s sweep all that negativity under that carpet called denial and have some fun. Am I right!? This is your guide to joining my cult; this is a guide to:

STEFANtOLOGY In order to become part of my secret organization, you will first have to seek out my underground task force. I’m trying to be realistic about this whole fiasco, so the task force will probably consist of just myself, or like, a tape recorder or something. In order to find the underground task force you will follow a breadcrumb trail of clues that will lead you to

the correct location. This is where you’ll have the mysteries of the universe disclosed to you. In this enlightened state you will ascend into a frame of mind known to the Stefanites as “Partythrasher.” This is the first ascension of many that your mind will take on this tremendous journey. As a Partythrasher, you will feel obligated to cut all pizzas into pentagrams, shotgun Strongbows, and constantly force your friends to listen to Motörhead. Once you have achieved full Partythrasher status, I will visit you via astral methods, or I’ll catch a bus over to your house. Either way I’ll be there in some form. Once there, I will make you the best mixed party drink ever made, and upon the sweet nectar reaching your lips, the crazy fun party demon eggs will hatch and you will become one with the universe: The Stefantology Universe. For what seems to be enternity, your mind will travel across the Omni-verse, and when you return to your bod, you’ll probably want to hurl. That mixed drink is strong stuff. One of the many negative results of becoming a Partythrasher is that your tamer friends will grow weary of your ridiculous shenanigans, and won’t understand what you must party like to reach the next level. They may try to defuse the non-stop party demon that has barged into your mind’s eye, and birthed its many crazy-fun eggs into your inner-consciousness by trying to “talk” to you. This is when you are the most susceptible to “logic,” so you must be careful not to be swayed back into your ordinary boring life. Once you shower up and wipe that ralph off

your washroom floor, we can begin our work to enlighten each other. You will be one of my closest disciples, working in tandem to gather troops of Partythrashers, molding their minds to our wills. Or y’know, we could just hang out, I guess. A two-person “cult” would kinda rule.

×× Stefan tosheff

12-11-02 9:22 PM

NEW WORLD RETAIL STORE DISTRIBUTER AND EXPORTER OF MOBILE PHONES WITH DIFFERENT RANGES OF ELECTRONICS. WE ARE A LEGITIMATE COMPANY. WE DEAL WITH ALL NEW BRANDS AND MODELS OF MOBILE PHONES, DIGITAL CAMERAS, LAPTOPS, PLASMA TV’S, GAMES, IPOD’S. WE DO INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING WORLDWIDE. DO KINDLY REPLY BACK IF YOU ARE INTERESTED AND AS YOU DO MAY GOD BLESS YOU. WE ARE SELLING ALL KINDS OF PHONES. ALL PRICES ARE WHOLESALE AND INCLUDE SHIPPING. APPLE PRODUCT APPLE IPHONE 5G......................$600 APPLE IPHONE 4 32GB................$500 APPLE IPHONE 4 16GB................$450 APPLE IPHONE 3GS 32G...............$400 APPLE IPHONE 3GS 16GB..............$350 APPLE IPHONE 3G 8GB................$300 APPLE IPAD 2 WI-FI 16GB............$500 APPLE IPAD 2 WI-FI + 3G 64GB.......$600 APPLE I-PAD WIFI 16GB...........$400 APPLE IPAD WIFI 64GB...........$450 APPLE IPAD 2 WI-FI 32GB............$550 APPLE IPAD WIFI - 32GB..............$430

BLACKBERRY PHONES BLACKBERRY PLAYBOOK TABLET.........$400 BLACKBERRY TOUCH 9800..............$350 BLACKBERRY 9670....................$300 BLACKBERRY BOLD 9650...............$300 BLACKBERRY BOLD 9700...............$300 BLACKBERRY BOLD 9780...............$320 BLACKBERRY CURVE 8520..............$300 BLACKBERRY TOUR 9630...............$280 BLACKBERRY CURVE 8900..............$320 BLACKBERRY STORM 9500..............$300 BLACKBERRY STORM2 9520.............$350 BLACKBERRY STORM2 9550.............$300

NOKIA PHONES NOKIA N900.........................$400 NOKIA N97 32GB.....................$350 NOKIA N96 16 GB....................$300 NOKIA N93..........................$400 NOKIA N95..........................$350 NOKIA N92..........................$350 NOKIA N91..........................$330 NOKIA N93I.........................$330 NOKIA 6220.........................$300 NOKIA N90..........................$300 NOKIA N999.........................$400 NOKIA NGAGE........................$450 NOKIA SAW..........................$450

PDA O2/CDMA PHONES XDA TRION.........................$300 XDA NEO...........................$300 XDA ATOM..........................$330 XDA ORION.........................$330 XDA EXEC..........................$340 XDA MINI 5........................$335 XDA III...........................$280 XDA II............................$300 CINGULAR 8125.....................$300

ALL THE ELECTRONIC’S PRODUCT’S ARE BRAND NEW, SEALED IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGE, WITH COMPLETE ACCESSORIES AND ALSO WITH 1YEAR INTERNATIONAL WARRANTY AND A 1 MONTH RETURN POLICY. WE DO INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING WORLDWIDE. SO COME HERE NOW FOR YOUR ORDER AND AS YOU COME GOD BLESS YOU. OFFERING THE BEST AND CHEAP PRODUCT IS OUR PRIORITY.

4608.indd 9

MOTOROLA MOTOROLA XOOM WITH WI-FI 32 GB.....$400 MOTOROLA DROID.....................$350 MOTOROLA T721......................$300 MOTOROLA T722......................$300 MOTOROLA T725......................$250 MOTOROLA V170......................$300 MOTOROLAV171.......................$350 MOTOROLAV173.......................$350 MOTOROLA V180......................$300 MOTOROLA V188......................$350 MOTOROLA V190......................$400 MOTOROLA V195......................$300 MOTOROLA V220......................$300 MOTOROLA V235......................$350 MOTOROLA V260......................$300 MOTOROLA V265......................$350 MOTOROLA V266......................$300 MOTOROLA V300......................$400 MOTOROLA V325......................$330 MOTOROLA V330......................$350 MOTOROLA V360......................$300 MOTOROLA V3C.......................$400 MOTOROLA V3C RAZR..................$400 MOTOROLA V3I.......................$350 MOTOROLA V3X ......................$400 MOTOROLA V400......................$350 MOTOROLA V505......................$400 MOTOROLA V535......................$330 MOTOROLA V540......................$350 MOTOROLA V551......................$350 MOTOROLA V555......................$400 MOTOROLA V600......................$350 MOTOROLAV60T.......................$400 MOTOROLA V635......................$400 MOTOROLA V710......................$350 MOTOROLA V810......................$300 MOTOROLA V840......................$400

HTC PHONES HTC P5500 (HTC SAMSUNG............$650 HTC P6500 (HTC SIRIUS)............$640 HTC S730 (HTC WINGS)..............$630 HTC P4550 (HTC KAISER)............$620 HTC P3450 (HTC ELF)...............$610 HTC ADVANTAGE X7501...............$600 HTC S420 (HTC ERATO)..............$580 HTC P6300 (HTC PANDA).............$560 HTC S630 (HTC CAVALIER 100).......$550 HTC P3400 (HTC GENE)..............$540 HTC P3350 (HTC LOVE)..............$530 HTC ADVANTAGE X7500 (HTC ATHENA)..$520 HTC S320 (HTC MONET)..............$450 HTC P4350 (HTC HERALD 100)........$500 HTC P3300 (HTC ARTEMIS 160).......$420 HTC S620 (HTC EXCALIBUR 100)......$520 HTC P3600 (HTC TRINITY 100).......$520 HTC S310 (HTC OXYGEN).............$400 HTC MTEOR (HTC BREEZE 160)........$480 HTC TYTN P4500 (HTC SAMSUNG200)...$420

SONY ERICSSON PHONES SONY ERICSSON IDUO................$500 SONY ERICSSON EXPERIA X1..........$450 SONY ERICSSON W300................$350 SONY ERICSSON CT66................$300 SONY ERICSSON J300A...............$350 SONY ERICSSON P800................$400 SONY ERICSSON S710A...............$350 SONY ERICSSON T226................$300 SONY ERICSSON T237................$350 SONY ERICSSON T290................$400 SONY ERICSSON T300................$350 SONY ERICSSON T306................$350 SONY ERICSSON T316................$300 SONY ERICSSON W600I...............$400 SONY ERICSSON Z300A...............$350 SONY ERICSSON Z500................$300 SONY ERICSSON Z 500A..............$350 SONY ERICSSON Z 520...............$300 SONY ERICSSON Z 520A..............$350 SONY ERICSSON Z 520I..............$300 SONY ERICSSON Z525A...............$400 SONY ERICSSON Z600................$350 SONY ERICSSON Z710I...............$300

GAMES MICROSOFT XBOX 360................$260 GAME BOY LATEXT EDITION...........$210 GARMIN 396........................$250 NINTENDO WII......................$270 XBOX 360..........................$400 PS3 240GB.........................$400 PS3 120GB.........................$350 PS3 80GB..........................$300 PS3 60GB..........................$250 PS2...............................$250 PS1...............................$200

DELL LAPTOPS DELL LATITUDE D600................$390 DELL LATITUDE D500................$300 DELL INSPIRON 6000................$450 DELL LATITUDE D505................$440 DELL LATITUDE D610................$460 DELL LATITUDE D510................$420 DELL INSPIRON 9300................$630

TOSHIBA LAPTOPS LG PHONES LG CU500..........................$300 LG F7200..........................$300 LG F9100..........................$350 LG F9200..........................$300 LG FUSIC..........................$300 LG G4015..........................$300 LG G4020..........................$350 LG G4050..........................$300 LG L1200..........................$300 LG L1400..........................$350 LG LX350..........................$400 LG LX550..........................$450 LG PM225..........................$400 LG PM-325.........................$350 LG VX5200.........................$300 LG VX5200.........................$350 LG VX6000.........................$400 LG VX6000V........................$350 LG VX6100.........................$350 LG VX7000.........................$300 LG VX8000.........................$350 LG VX8100.........................$400 LG VX9800.........................$400 LG VX9800.........................$450

SAMSUNG PHONES SAMSUNG I900 OMNIA.................$450 SAMSUNG D600.......................$300 SAMSUNG D500.......................$300

TOSHIBA SATELLITE PRO L10.........$420 TOSHIBA QOSMIO E10................$850 TOSHIBA R100......................$550 TOSHIBA QOSMIO E10................$850 TOSHIBA SATELLITE PROL20..........$350 TOSHIBA M100......................$780 TOSHIBA M300......................$840 TOSHIBA PORTEGE A200..............$420 TOSHIBA SATELLITE L10.............$430 TOSHIBA QOSMIO F20................$600

SONY PLASMA TV SONY FWD42PV1 PLASMA TV...........$1000 SONY KE42M1 PLASMA TV.............$1500 SONY PFM42X1 PLASMA TV............$1100 SONY KDE42XS955 PLASMATV..........$1800 SONY FWD50PX1 PLASMA TV...........$1800 SONY KDE50XS955 PLASMA TV.........$1200

PIONEER PLASMA TV PIONEER PDP424MV PLASMA TV........$900 PIONEER PDP42A3HD PLASMA TV.......$800 PIONEER PDP434CMX PLASMA TV.......$1000 PIONEER PDP43A5HD PLASMA TV$......$1000 PIONEER PDP4360HD PLASMA TV.......$900 PIONEER PDP504CMX PLASMA TV.......$800 PIONEER PDP505CMX PLASMA TV.......$800 PIONEER PDP5060HD PLASMA TV.......$800 PIONEER PDP6100HD PLASMA TV.......$1000 PIONEER PDP614MX PLASMA TV........$800

TO PLACE YOUR ORDER CONTACT US AT : NEW WORLD RETAIL STORE STORE HOURS: MON - SUN:10:00 A.M. - 11:00 P.M. CONTACT PERSON: MR WALKER - SALES MANAGER Email: newworldretailstore@gmail.com newworldretailstore11@gmail.com

12-11-02 9:22 PM

arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

BIG WIN, LITTLE MOUNTAIN Film screening turns into victory party; pending eviction cancelled Natalie Corbo × Features Editor

×× Miles Chic

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

elief, more so than celebration, seemed to be the atmosphere at the Little Mountain Gallery impromptu victory party for tenants and supporters of the Little Mountain social housing project. The film screening on Oct. 26 was intended as a lead-up to what should have been a stressful week for the last four households living in the Little Mountain social housing in Mt. Pleasant. They planned to spend Monday at City Hall, pleading a case against eviction that they did not expect to win. The eviction of the tenants, who had been fighting pending eviction since 2009, was officially cancelled by the City of Vancouver and Holborn Properties the day prior. “We thought that today we’d be at a meeting listening to lawyers for BC Housing cram their eviction notices down the throats of the tenants,” says David Vaisbord, the filmmaker behind the short documentaries that were screened at Little Mountain that night. The short films are part of a project that will ultimately turn into a feature-length documentary. The gradual process was intentional, explains Vaisbord, as the films added to the ongoing dialogue within the public sphere about the fate of the housing project. “The process is the product,” he says. “So at any point

in the process of making the documentary film I can find a product to put onto the web, or to put somewhere … where it needs to be placed when it’s relevant.” The Little Mountain Gallery screening was the last of a series of screenings that has included UBC, Spartacus Books, Emily Carr and, perhaps most importantly, Vancouver City Hall. The five films, which were screened in immediate succession, provoked audible reactions of surprise and outrage among crowd members. One film centres around rapper and former Little Mountain tenant Red1, who talks about growing up in the project. He points out the house where the first girl he had a crush on grew up, and improvises a rap about the pending demolition. In another short, former resident Debbie Lawrence subverts security guards with a cameraman, in order to get one final shot of the house she grew up in, before it is torn down. The films make sense to be viewed as parts of a whole, which is indeed what they are. One film entitled The Eviction of Sammy and Joan does stand alone especially well, though, and provoked emotional reactions (and following the film, utter silence, according to Vaisbord) when it was screened in front of City Council. In seven minutes, it tells the story of the blind senior

couple who wonder how they could possibly learn to adapt to new surroundings if they are evicted. It’s an intimate glimpse into their life, as Sam shows off a box of his old sports medals, and harvests vegetables from the organic garden in his yard that he has tended to for years. The subjects of Vaisbord’s documentary project were all in attendance at Little Mountain Gallery, and pleased as they are with the City’s decision, they recognize that the struggle for social housing and justice in Vancouver is always ongoing. Ingrid Steenhuisen, who grew up in the project, is the subject of one film that documents her five-year fight to stay. She’s pleased with the victory, but notes that we must “make sure it never happens this way again.” Vaisbord calls his project a “hyper-local documentary,” and explains, “I was convinced that I could really find compelling stories in my neighbourhood that would speak to not only local issues but international issues ... I discovered Little Mountain housing which is only three blocks away from my home, but it’s a place where neoliberalism, which is a big, huge juggernaut, is acting out its process.” Beyond that, the whole event is a reminder of the importance of looking close to home for inspiration. Friday night’s musical guest,

neighbourhood resident and singer-songwriter Rose Melberg, talked about raising her son in the neighbourhood, and about writing one song while walking past the boarded up windows of the Little Mountain housing project. “This is a song about hope,” she said, in the middle of a set that prompted Vaisbord to ask her to collaborate on music for his documentary. Vaisbord expresses concern about people’s ability to tell these kinds of stories about their own communities. “You have to be self-financed if you want to look into your own neighbourhood because there’s nothing too sexy about Canada,” he says. “We can’t get international money to tell our stories.” Indeed, these kinds of projects have the ability to change public opinion, and sometimes even make an important impression on City Hall. For the future, Vaisbord is planning a digital installation, called The Sign Project, at the site of the Little Mountain housing project, which will allow people to view the films and learn about the site’s history while walking around the area. To watch The Eviction of Sammy and Joan, visit Vaisbord.com/blog/eviction-sammy-joan/, and for more info on the upcoming Sign Project, visit Vaisbord.com/blog/sign-project/.

4608.indd 10

12-11-02 9:22 PM

FASHION OF HER LOVE A portrait of the artist as a young guru JJ Brewis

a still from misty greer‘s american guru. photo by matthew bruditt photography

× Editor-in-Chief “I was in New York City this time last year, and locked eyes with a man who had a long silver beard with bright red-dyed tips. He was wearing a hot pink turban, and winked one of his crystal blue eyes at me,” says local fashion designer Misty Greer, on the phone from her Vancouver studio. “I smiled at him, and felt something spark inside me. When I got back to the hotel, concepts and visuals just started pouring out of me. It wasn't necessarily a collection of clothes, but the seeds of something more visually comprehensive.” Inspiration is found in the most unorthodox of sources. For Misty Greer, this one moment in time would dictate an entire artistic outpour. “The whole moment I shared with that magic man was really cinematic, so I knew I had to make moving images. Obviously a collection had to come of it, because that's how I currently tell stories the best.” Thus, American Guru was born, Greer’s most cohesive project yet. Beginning with a series of short films and centred on Greer’s newest fashion collection, the grouping is set to be nothing short of an iconic spectacle. “I always knew that it needed to be its own show. American Guru is bigger than just the collection,” she says. The launch is set to include burlesque performers from New York and Seattle, a tarot card reader, and the collective debut of Greer’s video work. “It's about the whole show: the performances, the collection, the video trailers

we made for promotion, and even down to the drinks! Guilt and Co. is designing special themed American Guru cocktails for the evening.” Greer, who grew up in Maui and relocated to LA in her teens, moved to Vancouver almost a decade ago. In that time she graduated from Kwantlen’s Fashion Design and Technology program, and over the past four years has made a name for herself with her ready-to-wear Trunk Show collection. In addition, Greer has also become a fixture in the burlesque world as a costumer, getting acclaim when Lady Gaga donned one of her signature hats in a performance. Though she ended up making a name for herself in fashion, Greer’s original educational path was in film. “I always took photos that had a fashion bend to them. So cinema,

photography and fashion have always gone hand in hand with regards to my artistic expression.” With that interest in tow, Greer directed the American Guru film series, a cinematic pairing that both compliments and highlights the imager y of her collection: stars and stripes, and an unfinished pyramid (a symbol of strength and duration) among them. In a series of four clips, a model is seen in Greer’s garbs, washing an American flag, and dancing in a room outfitted with only sparkles as a light source. The clips tie in to Greer’s long-term plan of “world domination, one sequin at a time.” Like the skulls and bows of Greer’s pin-up and burlesque Trunk Show pieces, American Guru “takes classic pop culture American symbols like the stars and stripes and the one dollar bill and related icons of American obsession, and kind of turns them on their head,” explains Greer. “I wanted it to feel iconic, and recognizable, but not clichéd in its delivery. I've manipulated those images to tell a story of mysticism and transformation.”

It was fashion though, that helped form Greer’s first creative memories. “I remember being very particular about my fashion choices from a young age. My first fights with my mom were over this red and black polka dot dress that I wanted to wear every single day,” she laughs. “[Fashion has] been integral to my personal story. Everyone finds their own way of expressing themselves; for me, it came out through clothes and costume. I've managed to make a business out of it by finding like-minded creatures who enjoy my vision.” A fashion designer at her core, Greer’s newest artistic cycle is a chance to try on a few other hats, from party planner to businesswoman. “I've never produced my own fashion show before, and that was on my to-do list before I turned 30. I was turning 29 this year and figured, if not now, when?” It’s been a busy time for Greer. But with American Guru, the output is personally, as well as creatively, satisfying. “As I get a larger client base, and work more, I find myself with less time to do purely creative things. I'm one of those poor souls that has made a business out of their art,” she explains. “That means as business gets good, I get less time to explore concepts just for myself. It was time to do something just for fun; to enjoy the process, and not have expectations or limitations on the creative process.” American Guru launches on Nov. 8 at Guilt & Co. in Gastown.

The "Main" Event

Main Street Vinyl Fair returns with gusto Charlie Black × Writer

use some true to heart materialism,” Privett ponders. “Materialism means finding value in material goods. Our culture is not materialistic but, in fact, acts in the opposite fashion by treating materials as worthless disposables.” Perhaps you’ll find something worth holding onto at the Main Street Vinyl Fair. The Main Street Vinyl Fair will be happening Nov. 10 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Cambrian Hall (215 E 17th St.). For more information, see Vinylrecordfair.com.

× volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 11

the world of vinyl, the fair will include, along with vintage vinyl, new releases as well. “Most new vinyl comes with a digital download card so you get both formats for one price,” points out Gowans. It is perhaps as a result of its incorporation and willingness to embrace the modern digital world that the analog revolution has taken afierce hold. “There is a new young generation of vinyl enthusiasts who grew up without records in their house, their parents listened to CDs ... but now people are discovering entire albums [and] artwork,” Gowans explains. In these days of instant digital gratification, music is consumed by many in s i n g l e - s e r ve portions, in the form of easily obtained downloadable singles. The enthusiasm that emanates from today's generation, regarding vinyl, shows that the experience that music gives us remains important. The appeal of vinyl lies in the experience that it brings, something that cannot be supplied by an iPod. “It adds sensory and material value to my listening experience ... I'd say that this world could

the capilano courier

There once was a time in this current generation when the only people who owned record players had owned them for a long time, namely since before CDs became widespread. Those who still listened to music on vinyl often were grandparents, hippies and neo-luddites. Yet in this digital age, vinyl has risen from beyond the grave in the last few years and has established a strong following amongst people of all ages, musical preferences, and walks of life. The Main Street Vinyl Record Fair in Vancouver is a prime celebration of this newly rediscovered obsession with the iconic black disk. Established and supported by local record stores, broadcasters and music enthusiasts, the Vinyl Record Fair has gained a strong and steady following since its inception in Aug. 2010, becoming the place to find that hard-to-find rarity, build a collection or to simply chat with other vinyl lovers. “Me and a friend of mine (a fellow DJ at CiTR) had the desire to start throwing events for our community ... We had a big empty space smack dab in the middle of Main Street but we had to comply with BC Casino regulations which hampered your most common social functions. Thus, the vinyl fair was born. It wasn't resource-heavy and it filled a niche in our community,” explains event creator and organizer Robert Privett, also a producer and show host at UBC's CiTR 101.9, and founder of BadBird Media. Not only will the event feature “thousands and thousands” of records, LPs, 7-inches and

cassettes up for sale or trade, you’ll also get to listen to local DJs Knights of the Turntable spinning vinyl while you shop. The fair will feature a silent auction on a variety of community-donated records, with all the proceeds going toward local non-profit organizations Girls Rock Camp, Safe Amplification Site Society, and CiTR. These organizations all contribute in various ways to encourage the arts and music community in Vancouver. Privett finds that while the love for vinyl is something universally accessible, Vancouver perhaps has a special communion with the phenomenon. “With the high cost of living in Vancouver, and so few residents (especially young residents) being able to own a home or anything at all, it can be really nice to call something our own.” The vinyl scene in Vancouver is a passionate community that rallies around the fair, and joining the community is as easy as simply being there and taking part. With your admission at a cool $2, you also receive a “Vancouver Vinyl Discount Card,” allowing you 10 per cent off all vinyl purchases at many record stores in the city. Dave Gowans, owner and operator of Red Cat Records, points out the value of the experience vinyl can offer. “I like the sound, the ritual and the whole process of taking a record out of the sleeve, dropping the needle, deciding on whether to listen to a side then another record, or flip it over; it's very relaxing.” Red Cat is one of the banner sponsors of the event, and gift cards and a record-cleaning kit donated by them are up for grabs in a contest co-hosted by the Georgia Straight and the fair. For those who are curious about delving into

×× Lydia FU

12-11-02 9:22 PM

arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

PUMPKIN THE JAM, PUMPKIN IT UP Carved beasts live on through autumn

Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor

Pumpkin: the orange round fruit that people use to carve scary faces into at Halloween. Many don’t think of the uses of pumpkins past Halloween decorations and jack-o-lantern carvings, but they are actually a highly nutritional food source, and can be used in a variety of recipes, as well as in other creative endeavours. Like most members of the squash family, autumn is harvest season for pumpkins. The Hazelmere Pumpkin Patch, based in Surrey, starts prepping for pumpkin season months in advance. According to Shari Tompe, the owner of Hazelemere, “Our season starts in April. We start preparing the field and we’re working right through to the middle of November before we get cleaned up. Even though we’re only open for ‘business’ business for five weeks, we’re busy from April until the middle of November for sure, just with the pumpkins.” During the time it’s open, Tompe’s farm offers hayride wagon tours and a mini maze, along with locally grown pumpkins. The majority of her clientele is interested in pumpkins specifically for scary décor: “90 per cent of the people who come to our pumpkin patch [come] directly for Halloween; the decorations, the jack-o-lanterns,”

she explains. “Probably about 10 per cent of the people who come to the pumpkin patch are looking for pumpkins for pies or for eating.” According to Nutritiondata.com, pumpkins are low in saturated fats, cholesterol and sodium and high in vitamins such as iron, potassium, and vitamin A, among a plethora of others. This makes them a nutritious addition to any dish that you would regularly cook using squash, or even yams. “I do have a couple of really special pumpkins that people come year after year for to bake with,” says Tompe. “I’ve had a few really good soup recipes that I’ve tried ... Someone else came and told me they made a pumpkin stew. So what they did was they hollowed out the inside of the pumpkin, and they put the stew ingredients inside the pumpkin, and then they baked it in the oven as that, and then when they serve it, they just take some of the side of the pumpkin away into the stew.” Because the farm is only open to the public from the last week of September until the first week of November, it begs the question of waste, and what happens to the pumpkins that aren’t used by the end of October. However, Tompe assures, “They are definitely not wasted. We will harvest quite a few of them, and then feed them to the goats and sheep the pigs and the cows, until they start turning.” And while those that rot in the field may look like they’re being wasted, “It’s good compost for next year. The crows and the squirrels also get a very big feast off of the pumpkins. They like to

eat the seeds as well.” Grocery stores also try to end up with as little waste as possible. According to a customer service agent for Safeway, the produce buyers try to plan it precisely to keep the amount of waste to a minimum. When asked how many they will have left by Oct. 31, she replied, “We’re lucky if we will have any left by tomorrow.” If there are going to be pumpkins left over, Safeway will give them away. “If they have school functions and they need some, then the boss always lets them go, if he knows that they’ve got too many.” Buzzfeed.com also offers creative ideas to lessen the amount of pumpkin waste. Among their top ideas was to turn the shells into a bird feeder, vase, or decorative candle holder. And most municipal waste services accept pumpkins for composting – a great way to keep vegetable waste out of landfills. If you are planning on cooking with pumpkins, Tompe has a few useful pointers: “Cookbooks are wonderful, but when there is such a selection online and you can find thousands of recipes, there is always going to be [something] online that suits everyone. Store them in a cool dry place inside. You can even cut them up to freeze them – great idea. Basically, [try] not to damage the pumpkin. Don’t bump it or bruise it or put it in any place that’s warm.” There are also different varieties of pumpkins that are better for cooking with than others are. “The typical jack-o-lantern pumpkins won’t keep as well because they have a high water content and

a bigger space in the middle that will cause them to start to rot a little bit faster. The more dense and heavier the pumpkin [is], the longer it will last,” she explains. While pumpkins may be famous for Halloween, they are useful in a multitude of ways. Keep them in mind as their harvest season dwindles. It can spark some culinary inspirations!

×× Tiaré jung

POSITIVE VIBEZ

Trio of shows provide wild ride with optimism

JJ Brewis

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

× Editor-in-Chief

4608.indd 12

Indians and Other Lives

Dan Deacon

Matt & Kim and Oberhofer

At the Electric Owl

At the Biltmore Cabaret

At the Commodore Ballroom

Stillwater, Oklahoma may not seem the most likely of places to find indie rock’s next big thing. But Other Lives take elements of their hometown and apply it to inspire their fans. After a high-profile opening spot for Bon Iver last year, the indie folk outlet played to a packed Electric Owl. “We really like this,” said singer Jesse Tabish. “Nice and intimate, it’s nice.” Promoting their sophomore Tamer Animals, the quintet filled the venue with their percussionbased sounds, woodsy harmonies, and orchestral moments, like the standout “E Minor”. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a crowd this into a band; at times the vocals coming from the audience outpowered the group altogether. On-stage, the house lights were shut off and replaced by a handful of moving lightbulb spotlights affixed to microphone stands which spread throughout the stage, giving an atmospheric feel of a spooky forest at sunset. Opener Indians charmed the crowd with his eerie blend of acoustic and electronic offerings, most notably on “I Am Haunted”.

Referring to his attendees as “the collective,” Deacon acts like an inspirational life coach to the audience, with performer and crowd sharing an equal amount of passion and enthusiasm for the performance. On “True Thrush”, Deacon encouraged fans to whip out their mobile devices and turn on an app which he tweeted about earlier in the day. With house lights off, participants’ phones were the only light source for the track, lighting up in a melee of bright colours, with camera flashes periodically providing lasers for the performance. Deacon is renowned for his live shows, and it’s easy to see why. Mid-set, he asked the crowd to form a makeshift hand-bridge out the doors, down the sidewalk, and back through the other entrance, while the rest of the crowd looped in and out of the Biltmore in an energetic frenzy, half-drunk and costumed on this Halloween weekend. Luckily, no booze ended up being spewed when Deacon asked the collective to put their hands in the centre of the room and spin like a giant big top with kaleidoscopic lighting swirling in a haze. Deacon’s eclectic blend of vocorders and synths almost took the back burner to the ruckus on the dance floor, but it’s likely he’s okay with that.

For those who have seen Matt & Kim before, this performance was nothing new. But that isn’t to take anything away from the duo’s infectious energy: the Brooklyn duo and real-life couple Matt Johnson and Kim Schifino (“partners in music and in sex,” as Johnson said) were as exuberant as ever, throwing bags of balloons to the crowd, encouraging audience members to blow them up and throw them into the air countless times. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and provided a great accelerated visual to the group’s performance, with Kim beating away madly on her hi-hat and Matt singing and playing keys at an unimaginable speed. “We really like coming to Canada,” Kim told the crowd. “You guys do a lot of shit right!” The crowd ate that up just as much as the group’s tunes. The only bummer was that the person in charge of sound for the evening seemed to be asleep at the wheel, with Matt’s vocals almost disappearing in the drums. Oberhofer proved to be a fitting opener, with quirky xylophone solos, floral shirts reminiscent of the ‘90s, and endearing off-pitch harmonies. ×× Tom Nugent

12-11-02 9:22 PM

FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

GROWING PAINS OF PUBLISHING Writers and publishers struggle to stay afloat

The shaky economy and advancements in technology are what the publishing industry is drowning in. Traditional publishing had a hard time adapting to the blooming e-market that hit like a tidal wave. According to Mashable.com, American publishers are generating more revenue from e-books than hard copies, and Amazon.com sold more Kindle books than physical books at the end of 2010. “I don’t think a lot of publishers were prepared to make the shift, and haven’t figured out how to capitalize on that,” Anthony says. “They were all offering e-book versions of the paper books, but it

them to the world and say: ‘Yo World, we have our special Canadian authors here.’” Because Everyday Fiction is an online publication, Campbell works with authors from all over the world. “One thing that we have been committed to right from the beginning is that it doesn’t matter where you’re from. The only judgment we use on stories is whether they are competently written in English,” she says, “There [are] just so many interesting people all over the world, and I’d like to see Canadian authors making connections all over the world, and making fans all over the world, as opposed to being such a weak country for fiction that we have to be so protectionist about it.” Leslie Anthony, a Whistler-based author who wrote two books published by Greystone Books, understands how the strict focus on Canadian content may inhibit the success of books.

was because ‘we have to.’ It wasn’t figuring out how this is actually going to add to our bottom line.” The main issue with going digital is that the publishing houses make less online than they would by using traditional mediums. Less revenue means fewer resources available to the authors, and less budget for book promotions and marketing. “People expect to buy the e-versions of things, for pretty cheap. So the profit margin on those things is a lot smaller,” explains Anthony. There are other options for budding authors, such as self-publishing, but in a shaky economy that may be just as risky. “Self-publishing is a little bit like the lottery,” Campbell describes. “If you can afford to lose the cost of the ticket, go for it.” With self-publishing, anyone with an idea and a manuscript can print copies of their work for relatively cheap, and independently sell it while

4608.indd 13

×× DAve Mcansh

on, especially in non-fiction: the type of information that people are consuming and the way that they are consuming it. There is still a huge number of people out there that like books, and want physical books, and like to read a whole book, but the trend is definitely [that] people who can’t digest that information, who don’t have time to read that stuff, who can’t even read a long-form journalism magazine article. The market is shrinking for sure.”

going to be achieved has changed 180 degrees. We’re in such a time of flux right now that I don’t even think all the usual avenues of advice are even prepared to tell you what to do or how to go about it.” “When I teach writing seminars at writing festivals and things, a lot of them have to do with breaking in like that,” continues Anthony, “It’s all pretty dismal right now, but it’s still there. It’s just a different model. At some point, it’s all going to settle out. Everything has been thrown into the air at the moment but at some point, something is going to be spit out the other end. It’s going to be a way forward and a path that’s a little less in flux.”

46 issue N o . 08

D&M Publishers is a flagship in Canadian publishing. The company has been around for over four decades and describes itself as “Canada's pre-eminent independent publisher.” While it is good to promote local authors on a local market, some think that limited focus could have attributed to its eminent downfall. “That’s one thing I do notice about the Canadian publishing industry’s insistence on publishing Canadian authors,” says Camille Gooderham Campbell, the managing editor at Everyday Fiction, “Are they then marketing to just Canadian readers? It’s very hard to then take

With the recent demise of many print publications, such as Spin magazine and Newsweek (which will now only be available online), the industry seems very dark and daunting to young talent that may have previously considered a career in publishing. But there are other options to the traditional way of getting a book published. “I’m dreadfully sad about D&M,” says Campbell, but she believes that the future of publishing is with smaller publishing houses, not large parent companies such as D&M. “The small press is one of the places where I think the future of publishing is, because it’s almost a hybrid between self-publishing and traditional publishing,” she says. “A small publisher doesn’t have the resources that a big publisher does. They’re not going to spend $10,000 on a marketing campaign. But they will buy the cover art for you, provide editing services, [and] get it into distribution. You’ve also got a support person. Someone you can talk about your book with.” As a veteran author who has seen the industry ebb and flow, Anthony doesn’t want to dissuade anyone from venturing to be a writer, but says that they might have to be more flexible. “To tell somebody who has either a talent for something or a dream, I’d say go for it. I’d say that the model that you have in your mind about how that is

volume

Big Bad Economy Strikes Again

× Opinions Editor

Writing the Future

Beyond Borders

Leah Scheitel

keeping all of the mark-up profits. But with this independence and freedom comes different costs. “Everything is your problem, everything is your cost,” Campbell explains. This includes everything from cover design, to font and proofreading, which can become a headache for authors who just wants to enjoy the writing process. There are numerous sites and online resources on how to publish works privately, such as Self-publish.ca and Firstchoicebooks.ca. To Campbell, one of the most important things to a self-published author is an editor. “An impartial. Not your friend, not someone from the critique group, not someone who knows you really well or someone who has talked your plot to death with you. You need an impartial person.” This is just to perfect the project, and doesn’t address the other hurdles such as marketing and promoting it to the target audience. Selfpromotion is something that is key to the success of authors in today’s social mediadominated world. And while technology has made this easier, it has also contributed to part of the problem. Anthony explains that when working on his second book, White Planet, which was published in 2011, he noticed the effect that technology had on the industry. “I could tell it was an industry just hanging

the capilano courier

On Oct. 23, Vancouver-based Douglas and MacInyre (D&M) publishers filed for bankruptcy protection. As the parent company to two other publishing firms (Greystone Books and New Society Publishers), and the publisher of many Canadian and local talents, this was taken as a huge blow to the publishing industry in Canada. They are the company behind the success of Charlotte Gill’s Eating Dirt, John Furlong’s Patriot Hearts, and many of David Suzuki’s works, among a multitude of other titles. While they have been remaining fairly tight-lipped since the announcement, this has many people within the industry wondering what it means to for the future of publishing and the success of local authors.

“There was an issue in releasing something in Canada at a different time than in the U.S. It’s a borderless world now,” he explains. “You release a book somewhere, and someone sees that and it’s like ‘awesome’ but they can’t get it in their country until six months from now – and it’s like, ‘forget it.’” “It’s very provincial thinking,” Anthony continues, “But that’s the way that the Canadian Council of the Arts and other granting agencies work.” Anthony states that his publisher would submit his book proposal to granting agencies to help fund the production process, but he has no idea if the grant money won is going to help promote his books or just help with daily costs of running a business. “The only reason that you want to publish it is so you can get that grant. And they’ll use that money for whatever.”

12-11-02 9:22 PM

FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

THE

RAT KING Surrounded by urban wildlife, everything comes back to rodents

Samantha Thompson

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

× Copy Editor

4608.indd 14

“Animals are always going to be a part of the city,” says Randy Celinski, president and owner of AAA Wildlife Control. As someone who has been in the business of removing wildlife from homes and businesses for a long time, he recognizes that this realization was an important step forward in the company’s approach to animal control. “We just focused on solving problems where they’re nesting. [We used approaches with a] more preventative nature, as opposed to just attempting to eliminate the animals – and the cycles just continuing,” Their role is to assist in the safe and humane removal of animals that get into places they shouldn’t be. Located in both Toronto and Vancouver, AAA Wildlife’s philosophy is based primarily on animal-proofing homes and businesses, instead of using more harmful methods like pesticide. AAA Wildlife only focuses on the bigger animals, not insects, which means they’re mostly dealing with critters like raccoons, squirrels, bats and rats. One of the biggest differences between Vancouver and Toronto, suggests Celinski, is that in Vancouver a major part of all their work is not

just keeping squirrels and raccoons out, but rats as well. “We do see rats, and evidence of rats, in the majority of places that we’re actively removing raccoons and squirrels from,” says Celinski. He emphasizes the importance of addressing the rodents when they’re dealing with wildlife removal, to prevent further problems. “Everything is, in a large way, geared towards rats.”

THE GREAT RAT DETECTIVE The prevalence of rats has not gone unnoticed. Of all the urban wildlife, rats are of particular interest to those in Vancouver because their populations grow incredibly quickly and are hard to control. Infestations are common, and with rats and urban wildlife come zoonotic diseases – diseases transferred by animals –which can have a negative impact on the human population. These zoonoses include everything from the plague to the avian flu to Lyme disease. The problem with these diseases is that often the symptoms are similar to that of the average flu, like nausea and fever, which

makes them hard to diagnose as having come specifically from an animal. This diagnosis is one of many things Dr. Chelsea Himsworth and her team of researchers is hoping to address with the Vancouver Rat Project. Himsworth is a veterinarian and the lead researcher for the initiative, which has examined Vancouver’s rat population and hopes to evaluate the health risk rats pose to people. Its goals are to describe the ecology of rats in the Downtown Eastside, and to perform a disease analysis on those rats. The project has been taking place over the last year, and the team has now begun analyzing their data. According to an article published by Himsworth and her research team, during which they surveyed Canadian Pest Control Professionals, rat infestations seem to be more prevalent and more severe in the Downtown Eastside compared to other areas of the city. The article also stated that exposed garbage, abandoned buildings and compost seem to be the most important contributing factors to rat infestations – which fits in perfectly with the negative reputation rats

currently hold. “One of the most interesting things that I have had to deal with during this project is the extreme opinions that people have about rats in Vancouver,” says Himsworth. “Some people think that all rats are ‘diseased’ and should be exterminated, while others thinks that rats pose absolutely no health risk just because there have been no recent epidemics of ratassociated disease in the city.” She believes that the truth is somewhere between the two, but points out that there is currently no evidence to support either opinion. “These polarized attitudes make it difficult to bring the focus back to ‘reality,’” she says. Rats in particular have a significant history when it comes to human disease epidemics, the most celebrated example being the spread of the plague, and naturally have a close relationship with humans. They’re also one of the most common animals found in cities, which enables their ability to spread disease. “They are an important animal to study when assessing zoonotic risks in urban areas,” says

12-11-02 9:22 PM

RETURN OF THE RAT

×× rebecca joy

“In the city we have done some sorts of surveillance over the years, and we didn’t see much of a problem,” says Morshed. “But if you encounter wild animals or wild rodents or wild insects, then you will always have some chance of getting exposed to some sorts of diseases – but it doesn’t mean you’ll get the disease.” Cities are no strangers to zoonotic disease outbreaks – perhaps most recently, the E. coli outbreak in Alberta, where many cases were reported of contaminated beef. However, in 1995 there was an outbreak of taxoplasmosis in the Greater Victoria area, which with 110 identified cases, was the largest outbreak of the disease ever reported. The spread was linked to the municipal drinking water, which was suspected to have been contaminated by feces of infected domestic, feral or wild cats. Although the disease can be hosted by a variety of animals, the parasite is only able to lay its eggs in the intestinal lining of cats. It serves as an important reminder that zoonotic disease outbreaks do not just happen overseas. Morshed says that the likelihood of contracting

YEAR OF THE RAT If Himsworth’s study goes as planned, Canadians will hopefully have a more comprehensive idea of how its rat population develops, and the potential risks of disease that come with it. In the meantime however, wildlife control companies like AAA Wildlife play an important role in controlling the rat population, and those of other urban wildlife. “[Rats are] the one species we exterminate … the snap trap is the most humane method of catching them, with the population of rats that we’re dealing with,” says Celinski. “We don’t really get involved in situations like warehouses, where there’s no end in sight to your rat problem.” For a lot of the other species AAA Wildlife deals with, simply animal-proofing homes and using one-way doors (so the animal can leave but then not re-enter) do the trick. But with rats, they quickly realized that this was not a feasible option. “With the nature of rats in the city, we eventually came to exterminating the rats,” says Celinski. “The main focus again was on rat-proofing, so we can eliminate the rats in houses without poison …[and] so no future rats will be able to re-enter.” On an average day, employees at AAA Wildlife will head out with a few pre-booked appointments, and then get some emergency calls as well –- which according to Celinski happens when there are “homes that might have a skunk that wandered in the basement door, or a pigeon flies into a store, or a bat in someone’s living room.” Depending on the season, the number of site visits can range anywhere from two to 12, per day. “We do climb into attics and chase raccoons out, or go into a basement and get ahold of squirrels in the net, and remove them to the outside if they’ve fallen down the chimney and are stuck in the basement,” he says. Facing an animal head-on can sound terrifying, but AAA Wildlife has been working with these animals for a long time and Celinski says they have gained an understanding of the creatures’ biology and behaviour. However, if you think you have an animal lurking in your house, he emphasizes the importance of calling a professional. He speaks of horror stories where homeowners have attempted their own animal removal, and climbed up to the attic to confront the raccoon. Unfortunately, the homeowners are caught off-guard and become frightened, and sometimes even fall through the ceiling in their surprise. When roofing companies are called in to repair the damage, they sometimes patch up the hole in the roof, without paying attention to the fact that there is a raccoon inside. In the middle of the night, the raccoon is tearing away and running around, trying to escape, and the homeowner ends up worse-off than they were before. When it comes to rats and other urban critters, there is a lot we don’t know. What is evident, though, is that all animals provide an opportunity for zoonotic diseases to spread. “For any zoonotic disease, I always say that prevention is better than cure ... we do get zoonotic diseases [more] often than people think,” says Morshed. Seeing how as it is essential that humans live in harmony with the urban wildlife, the more we can learn about the risks and their ecology, the better prepared we can be.

46 issue N o . 08

but if a mouse defecates in an open area where there is sunlight, air and wind, the virus will die very quickly – which is what has significantly contributed to the rarity of the disease. “When someone [wants] to clean that [mouse] droplet, there is some gas created, some aerosol, which contains that virus particle. It goes to the lung, and then [the virus] starts incubating and multiplying, and then people get the disease and die.” Another example of a zoonotic disease is the Lyme disease, which is transmitted by ticks when they bite humans and drag blood from them, like mosquitoes and flies. It is the most common vector-borne disease in the temperate zone, and occurs in Europe, Asia and North America. “When they drag blood, at the end they regurgitate. If that particular … insect is infected with the organism, the organism goes through the human body and causes the disease,” says Morshed. There are over 200 types of zoonoses, and all animals are pretty much capable of carrying a

a zoonotic disease can vary, but “if you do an act of surveillance for that particular disease and gather some data, then you comment. Otherwise it is very difficult to comment on [whether or not we are at a greater risk].”

volume

4608.indd 15

disease in some form. However, Morshed emphasizes that although every species does carry something, this does not mean every animal is diseased. “For example, tics carry Lyme disease, deer mice carry Hantavirus, and they carry other things too … Bats or coyotes, they might carry rabies, which is also a very deadly organism … but if you ask me if all bats are carrying rabies? The answer is no. Or all small mammals or rodents or deer mice carrying the virus? The answer is simply, no. But a few of them, they do [carry a disease].” Living in an urban centre that is surrounded by mountains, forests and ravines, like Vancouver, it would seem logical that we would be more susceptible to zoonotic diseases because we cohabit with so many urban wildlife species.

This lack of knowledge could have serious repercussions. Rats already have a fairly negative reputation, thanks to the likes of Disney (the baby-hunter rat in Lady and the Tramp) and E.B. White (the dirty, gluttonous Templeton in Charlotte’s Web). History serves as a reminder that rats were also the carrier of the plague, which as the Black Death in England resulted in one of the most devastating pandemics humans have been through. However, rats are not the sole carrier of zoonotic diseases. “Zoonotic diseases are not different than other diseases, in many respects,” says Dr. Muhmmad Morshed, a clinical microbiologist and Head of Zoonotic Diseases and Emerging Pathogens at

the B.C. Centre for Disease Control. “…When human beings are exposed to that animal, humans then get exposed to that particular organism through that animal, and they get the disease.” He uses the example of the Hantavirus, a rare but fatal viral disease. The virus is primarily spread with the help of deer mice. Although the mice normally live in more rural areas, there have been 61 reported cases of the Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome in Canada, with at least 20 of those resulting in death. The symptoms typically begin with those similar to that of the flu, but eventually will escalate to coughing and a shortness of breath. “This virus doesn’t cause any disease to the deer mice, but they carry it,” Morshed explains. It is spread through the mice’s feces, urine and saliva,

the capilano courier

Himsworth. Her project will be the first comprehensive study of rats and rat-associated zoonoses in Canada, and although she recognizes there are other urban wildlife species able of spreading disease, there are also comparable research projects being performed to study these populations. The Rat Project trapped a total of 727 rats in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, which were humanely euthanized upon capture. Each rat was then given an external physical examination, and an autopsy. “The purpose of this examination was to look for signs of health and disease, and to collect data and tissue samples for future testing and analysis,” says Himsworth. The project occurred in two parts: the study of the rats’ ecology, and a disease analysis of the rat population. During the ecology portion, which began in Sept. 2011, the team trapped the rats in order to assess the density, distribution and demographics of the animal populations. It was followed by the disease analysis portion, which began in May 2012, during which researchers tested the rats for at least 15 diseases. The team is hoping to evaluate the impact of the environment of the presence of diseased rats. Although at present the data from the disease testing is still being evaluated, Himsworth says there are already a couple things she has noticed through the research. Although zoonotic diseases can have severe or very obvious symptoms in humans, they cause “virtually no visible illness in rats,” she says. “This means that a rat that appears perfectly healthy can be carrying a dangerous disease [which] makes the study of rat-associated zoonoses quite challenging, because in-depth study and disease testing is generally required in order to appropriately assess human health threats posed by rats.” Although rats can be found all over Vancouver, regardless of the neighbourhood, the Rat Project focuses on the Downtown Eastside for a number of reasons. According to similar research in other countries, people with rat-associated diseases tend to live in poor, inner-city neighborhoods. “This is because infrastructural disrepair and unhygienic conditions (urban decay) provide an ideal habitat for rats, and promote close contact between rats and people,” explains Himsworth. She also points out that impoverished populations often have decreased health status and compromised immune systems, as a result of diseases like HIV/AIDS. “Despite the fact that rats are thriving in cities across Canada, and despite the fact that rats are associated with contemporary zoonotic disease risks in other countries,” says Himsworth, “We know virtually nothing about Canadian rat populations or the threat that they may pose to human health.”

12-11-02 9:22 PM

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

× opinions@capilanocourier.com

Celebrity Baby Giving birth to a marketing campaign Kelly Mackay

Babies are genetic replicas of their parents. For Blue Ivy Carter, her parents wanted her to shake her booty to make money before her first birthday, just like her mama and papa did. Blue Ivy’s name has been the centre of a heated debate between her astronomically wealthy parents, and a small wedding planner from Boston. After uniquely naming their child Blue Ivy, the Carters wanted to protect the rare name from copycats. But the name wasn’t original. A small Boston-based wedding planning business has been operating under the name “Blue Ivy” since 2009, three years before the birth of the world’s wealthiest baby. Beyoncé and Jay-Z wanted to force Veronica Alexander, the owner of Blue Ivy, to change the company’s name because they believed that using it was a violation of their child's identity. Beyoncé wanted to create a line of baby cosmetics under her daughter's trademarked name. What “baby cosmetics” actually are is a question in itself, but the main one is why this whole situation is even necessary. An intellectual property barrister, Christina Michaols told the Guardian: “Trying to register the name of a baby that, as yet, can’t even speak, let alone endorse goods, is a waste of time and an illustration of the depths to which celebrity cash-in culture has sunk.” A child should be a gift on its own, and doesn’t need to promote more materialistic things for the sake of a bank balance. Even though their trademark attempt was thwarted in the U.S., it was successful in Europe. The Guardian reports that in September, “Blue Ivy Carter was registered as a Community Trade Mark for a range of goods and services including cosmetics, fragrances, hair accessories, DVDs, baby strollers, and entertainment services.” Because their petition was denied by U.S. courts, Blue Ivy Wedding Planners are allowed to continue operating under that name. In an interview with Rolling Stone Alexander stated that, “In my mind I had some protective rights. There's no way by way of being a celebrity they should have entitlement [to the name]. Shame on them.” Apparently, Alexander holds no hard feelings. Blueivyevents.com prominently displays a picture

impact on our day-to-day lives. We may not know our neighbour from across the street, but we know that Suri Cruise is the daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and that he likes Scientology and she likes fashion. One has to wonder what will become of these children who grew up way too famous. Fame can be damaging to a fully formed adult. What are the damages on the psyche of a child that grows up under the spotlight? “Babyrazzi,” society’s admiration of these gold-

en children because they’re born famous, is one (admittedly strange) thing. But already rich parents trying to cash on by marketing their children begs the question of ethics. Beyoncé and Jay-Z are moguls and are idolized in the music industry. They don’t really need extra cash, so why are they trying to market their baby girl before she can even say the words “Mama” and “No”? Celebrities must remember that they’re giving birth to a baby, not a marketing campaign that can garner more income for the already too rich. These kids are going to have an interesting enough life, just being named “Apple” or “Moses.” They don’t need to come out of the womb selling cosmetics for kids.

Celebrity Baby Marketing Names The Brainchild of Leah Scheitel Sage Moonblood: daughter of Sylvester Stallone A new shade of fire engine red lipstick for Rimmel. It looks great on Kate Moss. Pilot Inspektor: son of Jason Lee A pen used only for writing Scientology scripts. Kal-El: son of Nicholas Cage Kal-El Chips. Kal-El Chunks. Kal-El Chow Mein!!! OMG. Destry: daughter of Steven Spielberg A revolutionary new dry wall that is earthquake proof. Sponsored by his end of the world movies. Audio Science: son of Shannyn Sossamon A night-class at community college. Maybe it’s just like Community. Apple: daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Sour Apples suck and should never be marketed. Ocean: daughter of Forest Whitaker Fresh from the Ocean, a brand new line of puka shell necklaces. Memphis Eve: daughter of Bono A pretentious new perfume from Chanel. Soon to be promoted by an equally pretentious commercial featuring Brad Pitt. Blue Angel: daughter of The Edge from U2 A scientifically designed lighter to better enable users to light their farts on fire. Hot ass!

×× Shannon Elliott



volume

46 issue N o . 8

× Writer

praising the newborn and “soul mate” couple. If a non-famous couple attempted to trademark their kid’s name, the situation would be laughable. But because it was Jay-Z and Beyoncé, this was taken seriously. Their petition was filed in February, and wasn’t resolved until October. This is an example of how our strange obsession not only with celebrities but also with spawn has grown. Tabloids, articles, and photos of the famous keep us intrigued in lives that aren’t ours, and have no

the capilano courier

ONe free visit

4608.indd 16

To redeem, go to www.capilanocourier.com



to the capilano courier website

12-11-02 9:22 PM

LIVEWRONG The Lance Armstrong battles Victoria Fawkes × Writer

Leah Scheitel × Opinions Editor

“Listen, I've said it for seven years. I've said it for longer than seven years. I have never doped. I can say it again. But I've said it for seven years. It doesn't help. But the fact of the matter is, I haven't. And if you consider my situation: A guy who comes back from arguably, you know, a death sentence, why would I then enter into a sport and dope myself up and risk my life again? That's crazy. I would never do that. No. No way.” This was Lance Armstrong’s furious testament on live television in Aug. 2005. Armstrong appeared on Larry King Live, denying the role of using performance-enhancing substances to help win any of his seven Tour-de-France titles. After years of defending his anti-doping record, the evidence against him is becoming insurmountable. Eleven of Armstrong’s teammates have testified that they had witnessed him taking performance-enhancing steroids. “USADA has found proof beyond a reasonable doubt that Lance Armstrong engaged in serial cheating through the use, administration and trafficking of performance-enhancing drugs and methods, and that Armstrong participated in running the U.S. Postal Service Team as a doping conspiracy,” said an Oct. 10 report from the United

States Anti Doping Agency. As a result of the alle- 2009, when Tiger Woods cheated on his wife gations, he has been dropped from a multi-million Elin, he faced a similar public disgrace. He lost dollar contact with Nike, and stepped down as credibility, sponsorships deals, and his career chairperson of the Livestrong Foundation, which suffered as a result of the humiliation. But unlike Woods, Armstrong’s fall from grace was he formed to raise money for cancer research. the result of cheating the system, not cheatMaybe Armstrong did cheat and ing on his wife. The reason people then lied about it – for 15 years. are taking Armstrong’s doping And while that is nothing to scandal so personally is because celebrate, at least he did Armstrong was an American something with his hero, one that beat the oversuccess and came whelming odds of testicuback from testicular lar cancer and went on to cancer with win the Tour-de-France Livestrong. Formed seven times, becoming a in 1997, the champion for cancer preorganization has vention and research. Now raised $400 million, that the word is out that with 81 per cent of each Armstrong’s incredible career dollar spent being incould be attributed to the effects vested directly into cancer ×× Mustaali Raj of the most elaborate doping scandal in research and awareness initiathe history of athletics, the adoring fans and tives. He built something to inspire people and help cancer patients to recover. organizations he once made proud are now shakArmstrong was diagnosed with stage III testicular ing their heads and scorning him for his mistakes. Some donors to Armstrong’s Livestrong cancer at age 25, and had to fight back from a near-death experience before he could even race Foundation are asking for their money back. A in the Tour-de-France. No one should take that couple from Austin, Texas claim they’ve helped feat away from him. But in shaming Armstrong to raise over $200 thousand for the organization, and the point where he has to step down from his own are now demanding that it be returned. But the foundation, it appears people will not rest until his thing is, it’s the man, not the legacy that is being focused on. The cancer awareness and research that name is dragged through the mud. Many professional athletes have fallen from Livestrong has advocated for over a decade has now grace and come under great public scrutiny. In been completely overshadowed by his indiscretion.

There’s irony in the fact that Armstrong, a cancer survivor, was abusing steroids, a probable carcinogen, but it’s hard to ignore the incredible work that Armstrong and Livestrong have done for cancer research. Cancer patient Doug Evans still sees Armstrong as a hero for the work he’s done for cancer research. “I don’t know if the doping allegations are true, but what I do know is what the foundation he created does and that we’re all better off because of it,” Evans told the Toronto Star. “Let’s not forget that this is a guy that beat the odds to survive. To win against cancer takes everything you have. You can’t cheat.” That’s the saddest part of the accusations – it’s not only Armstrong who will suffer, but also his cancer foundation. Even if he was doping, he probably wasn’t the only one. Cycling doesn’t have the reputation of being the cleanest sport out there. Along with baseball, it is the sport most accused of doping and they have the longest history of performance-enhancing drug use. But before he could even think of cheating to win the Tour-de France seven times, he had to make one outstanding comeback from cancer. Combine that with years of philanthropy work and forming a charity that has generated millions of dollars for cancer research, and that’s one impressive career. It doesn’t matter if he did it with a doobie hanging out the side of his mouth – at least he did it.

A CASE OF FOOT IN MOUTH Alberta’s Wildrose Party Keeps it Classy Samantha Thompson × Copy Editor

× volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 17

apologized. Her tweet was in response to an Albertan’s inquiry as to whether or not the meat could be cooked so it was safe, and then fed to the hungry. “I agree. We all know thorough cooking kills E. coli. What a waste,” Smith’s tweet read. Although Smith’s tweet does hold truth – E. coli can be killed if the meat is cooked to an internal temperature of 71 degrees Celsius – NDP leader Brian Mason argued in the Vancouver Sun that that wasn’t the biggest problem with her tweet. “I kind of share the view that it’s a terrible waste of food,” he said, “but the idea it’s OK to give it to poor people and it's not OK to give it to the rest of the population reveals an attitude that I find quite distasteful... It represents an attitude toward poor people that is at best condescending.” It’s unfortunate that ignorant, insensitive people find their way into politics, and then be fairly successful once there. Politicians should be the people Canadians can look to for leadership, not cringe every time they speak to a journalist. That being said, this “diversity” is a requirement of democracy – anyone, regardless of their views, can run for office. Once they’re on the ballot, becomes the responsibility of the electorate to ensure those elected are ones who can represent them efficiently and accurately. Otherwise we end up with politicians like Leech and Hunsperger, who say ridiculous things and then grasp at straws to find a reason for why they said what they said. Then again, this is all coming from a party whose rise to Internet stardom occurred when they designed a tour bus with a giant photo of Danielle Smith that “accidentally” placed the bus wheels right where her breasts would be. Stay classy, Wildrose.

the capilano courier

For more than two decades, one political party has governed Alberta: the Progressive Conservatives. Earlier this year, however, Alberta was heading into another provincial election, and the polls were suggesting that the further-right wing Wildrose Party would be elected to power. Alberta had been under the Progressive Conservative’s reign for 41 years, and its citizens were finally beginning to feel wary about having more of the same. The Wildrose Party came out of the shadows, offering a balanced budget, energy tax credits and a change in pace from the Progressive Conservatives. Thankfully, the Wildrose Party garnered 17 seats to the P-C’s 61, or else we’d be living next to a very different province. The Wildrose party in its current state is a very new political party. In 2008 the Alberta Alliance party merged with the old Wildrose Party to form the Wildrose Alliance Party. Current party leader, Danielle Smith, was elected in 2009 and took the party into its second provincial election (the first being in 2008) three years later. What is bizarre is that the party gained immense popularity during the election, despite Smith having very little political experience. Political theorists suggested that part of the reason for their popularity was that voters were looking for a change after the P-C’s 41-year reign over Alberta. Duane Bratt, a political science professor at Mount Royal University, told CBC, “You can't really look at [Wildrose's] potential victory without looking at the selfdestruction of the Conservative dynasty.” He

cited the building dissatisfaction with the people in many ways. As a Caucasian I believe that Progressive Conservatives, culminating in the 2007 I can speak to all the community.” Also a former decision to increase royalties on Albertan oil and gas pastor, Leech told CBC that what he meant was that it was not a disadvantage to be white when production by about 20 per cent. Smith herself does not have a lot of political representing different cultures. Both of these instances, besides experience, and in addition is accompanied providing excellent examby similarly inexperienced party ples of how ignorant candidates. This lack of profipeople can be while ciency was made painfully still being prevaclear when some of the lent in society, candidates opened their also indicates mouths. that the In a 2011 Wildrose blog post, Allan Party reHunsperger, ally doesn’t the Wildrose care what candidate for their candiEdmonton-South dates say – West, wrote homowhich in itself phobic statements, implies that which he said were Danielle Smith given “in the capacity of ×× Alex harvey - wickens understands that a church pastor.” According the people voting to CBC, the blog stated that gays for those candidates don’t “will suffer the rest of eternity in a lake care that they’ve expressed these of fire, hell, a place of eternal suffering,” and that people shouldn’t accept homosexuals because offensive and insensitive sentiments. And the ones “accepting people the way they are is cruel and who do care are in the minority, which won’t affect Smith’s overall bid for a successful election. not loving.” This can be seen in Smith’s reaction. In Ron Leech, another candidate in the election, told CHKF-FM, a multicultural radio station both cases, as leader, she did not criticize the out of Calgary, that he had an advantage because candidates for the offensive comments. Most he was a white man. “I think, as a Caucasian, I recently, she proved that she too could say some have an advantage,” Leech said. “When different questionable things. Smith suggested that tainted community leaders, such as a Sikh leader or a Mus- beef from XL foods could be saved to feed the poor lim leader speaks, they really speak to their own instead of being sent to a landfill, for which she later

12-11-02 9:22 PM

OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

× opinions@capilanocourier.com

THE CASE FOR INDEPENDENT STUDY Group projects take focus off of individual learning Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer It’s a situation familiar to most first-time and returning university students: the shifting of chairs and awkward introductions that accompany that first group project. Prevalent in high school, being placed into groups that are less than ideal shouldn’t be anything new. Still, the reliance on group work in university might be surprising for students who expected a significant upgrade in independence upon entry to the post-secondary world. University is supposed to represent a period of growth, development and knowledge – both in and out of class. It’s meant to be the first time independence is granted wholesale. Students are afforded the freedom to choose their school, their field of study, and their classes. It’s the first time when most are able to choose their own friends, rather than being lumped into a loose group of people that are more relatable than the rest of the kids in any given high school catchment area. Everything is different, until a group project comes along and proves that it’s not. The official explanation for the prevalence of group work is often that they prepare students for

the collaborative nature of the work environments that most will enter upon graduation. It is true that collaboration in the workplace is a fact of life for many post-secondary grads, though most careers don’t call for the organization of elaborate puppet shows based on mid-20th century existential novels. The futility of university group work is the most evident in lower-level classes. Required English, elective and qualitative courses ensure that any class hosts a chunk of students who are deviating from their chosen field of study. The potential for being lumped into a group of students who don’t necessarily care as much as you about a given subject is problematic for those who want to excel in all areas of a course. Apathy isn’t the only reason for group dysfunction – a litany of factors, including personality clashes, the dreaded but all too common serial procrastinators, and scheduling conflicts can doom a project before any work has been done. Most of the time, the projects that are assigned aren’t even particularly constructive. The goal of almost every project can be accomplished through the efforts of an individual, and when a great deal of emphasis is placed on the collaborative nature of an assignment, the results are often laughable.

Why should English students have to get together and mime scenes from The Bell Jar? Engaging in discussion is one thing – necessary for most fields of study, and valuable to students – but why dumb down what is often serious and important subject matter? A study on the benefits and drawbacks of group work by the Centre for the Study of Higher Education noted: “One of the strongest concerns that students have about group work is the possibility that group assessment practices may not fairly assess individual contributions.” The study goes on to cite lack of perceived relevance, lack of clear objectives and overuse as negatives associated with group projects. That’s a pretty serious condemnation when considering that all or almost all of the above areas of concern could be avoided by encouraging independent study. Inequity of contribution is perhaps the most troubling of the above. Why should someone who contributes fully and completely to a group project be graded the same as someone who blows it off? The study suggests ensuring that “grading practices are established such that grades properly reflect the levels of performance of each student and that where necessary, grade adjustments can occur to better reflect these levels.” This practice

would effectively resolve the problem of equal grading, but unfortunately it’s not always the case. At the very least, giving students the option to engage in group activities would be more beneficial than forcing it upon them. A student’s chance to broaden their horizons and become a well-rounded individual – and to have the resources available to do so – is truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for most. These kinds of projects cultivate a “get it over with” mindset when it comes to schoolwork, rather than encouraging an immersive learning experience. That’s what’s important about university: the learning experience. It’s what students pay for, and it’s what they deserve to get. Independence in studies is certainly more conducive to that goal than being coached and graded as part of a larger, impersonal entity like a study group. University is when responsibility comes down to the individual. Especially in a smaller school like Capilano, the acceptance of that responsibility by students needs to be rewarded with an increasingly personalized approach to class work.

CAp Creeper

“I have very mixed feelings on group projects. It depends on the class. If you’re in a class where everyone wants to be in the class because it’s not a mandatory class, then it’s good because everyone works.” Elizabeth Riegert

“I think that group projects can be useful because you can basically just collaborate with someone and maybe they can help you learn and you can help each other learn. But it has to be fair. You can’t have one person doing all the work and the other person just feeding off of them.” Adam Van Loo

“Everyone has to do their own share. I’ve been in groups that I’ve done most of the work and it just feels ‘why am I doing it?’ But if everyone cooperates and works together, it makes life so much easier. “ Sydney Abruy

“Working solo is way more productive, I think. You can get more work done and you can get more into what you’re actually doing.“ Jamel Paul

“I think working solo is more productive. However, group projects may help with other skills like working as a team or if you need opinions in order to make your project better. But as per efficiency and productivity, I like working solo.” Ileana O’Keefe

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

Question: Do you think group projects are productive?

4608.indd 18

12-11-02 9:22 PM

congratulationS beardo winners! Last week, we teamed up with Beardo to ask you all for your funniest beard or moustache story. Here are the winners, who each receive one Beardo toque and a set of BeerMo bottle openers! “One time, I dreamed about wearing a beard of bees but then all the bees turned into grapes and when I woke up I really wanted grapes. Does that count as a beard story?” – Alie Lynch “There’s nothing funny about moustaches or beards. They look good on some and not others. It isn’t really a laughing matter. People really need to just let nature take its course and not invest too much time in this, okay?” – Tanya Moyer “One time my parents had sex and the wiener must have gone in the vagina wrong because I was born with the inability to grow any sort of facial hair beyond a neck beard, so every November is pure agony for hundreds of reasons.” – David Laing

the capilano courier

× volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 19

12-11-02 9:22 PM

cap calendar

Calendar@ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

Contact us to have your event featured in the calendar. monday nov. 5 Improving your concentration Learn about “external and internal distractors” in this free workshop. God, this sounds like something I could really benefit from. Sometimes the term paper just doesn’t seem as important as that newest Voice episode. But then I remember Adam Levine isn’t gonna get me a degree. 11:30 a.m., Library 119. Free!

Chilly Gonzales Why is he sometimes called this and sometimes just called “Gonzales”? Doesn’t he know anything about creating a digital footprint? Whatever, if I lived in Cologne, Germany, I’d do whatever the hell I wanted to. Cologne. As if that’s a city name. Some people are too fucking cool for me to even fathom. Cologne, you guys. 8 p.m., The Rio Theatre. $23.50.

Getting to Like the People We Love Humans are social creatures by nature, but sometimes it’s hard to get along with people – even if we know we’d be broken without them. This discussion will address this, and give you some secrets to liking people, all from people who are happy. 7:30 p.m., Chabad Lubavitch B.C. (5750 Oak St.). $18/10.

Massage for Healthy Breasts Lots of people have breasts, but sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with them. This seminar will show you some sweet techniques on massaging boobs, by a trained professional. Sounds lovely! 7:30 p.m., The Art of Loving. By donation.

tuesday nov. 6 Cesar Millan: The Dog Whisperer Okay so all my friends who have well-trained dogs look at my angel Pepper and are like, “Dude, you really need to listen to Cesar!” But how I can I? Listening to whispers is really hard! Side note: can we all just take a moment to guffaw at the fact that there are no dogs allowed at this show? 7:30 p.m., Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre. $25-$125.

Wiz Khalifa I went to a Wiz Khalifa meet and greet (I know), and I told Wizzy to pound it and he did! Then my friend Shannon asked him to sign her boobs and he said “no way, I got a wife now!” So we like to tell people that Wiz Khalifa wouldn’t sign her boobs but he would pound me. Maybe she should have asked him to massage them. 7 p.m., Rogers Arena. $48.25-$66.65.

Vancouver Celebrates Diwali Diwali is happening, and the city is holding events all over the place to celebrate. Start it off with these community workshops, and learn to wrap a sari, get mendhi done, and paint a clay lamp, or diya. Then head downtown for more festivities! 1-2:30 p.m., South Vancouver Neighbourhood House. Free.

Video Games Live All the h-core gamers look at me and go, “Yeah, so do you even know what the SEGA Genesis is?” Um, yes I do. But the only games I get excited about are Just Dance: Disney and LEGO: Harry Potter, sorry. Anyway, this thing combines video games and classical music into a sweet event! 7:30 p.m., The Orpheum. $45-$80.

wednesday nov. 7

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

Happy Birthday Jess House! I’m just gonna put it out there that none of you probably know this gal, but you should look her up on Facebook and send her a very happy birthday. True story: one time Jess House and I watched the film The Beach and then The Dead Girl and had a legitimate conversation about sex with Toni Collette. She’s the cutest. Jess, not Toni. Toni stinks! All day, Facebook. Cost of Wi-fi or 3G connection on your mobile device.

Talent Time: Antique Gold Barbershop Quartets are really damn cool. I saw one at Disney World last month; they were actually performing outside while I was getting my hair cut. At a fucking barbershop. Mind blown? Well now you can see the “2006 Best Barber Shop Quartet” right here in Vancouver! They’re super adorable looking, and there are comedy acts on this bill too, so, y’know. 9 p.m., Biltmore Cabaret. $8.

Global Civic Policy Society: Public Salon Does anyone remember the mayor we had before ol’ Gregor, a Mr. Sam Sullivan? Yeah well apparently he’s been hosting these private dinner parties for 10 years with people from a “cross-section of the community.” And now he’s made them public, so you can watch these people talk about Important Things. 7:30 p.m., Vancouver Playhouse. $16/20/90 if you want dinner.

Intro to Cheese Making Ah, cheese rules. My fave is Gouda, or that kind with the jalapeño bits in it. It’s so delicious but it’s also one of those things that you want to be like, “Cheese, how are you made?” Well now you can find out with a real-life cheesemaker! 6 p.m., UBC Farm. $40.

Misty Greer: American Guru Vancouver fashion icon debuts launch of her first couture collection! In addition to the fashion show, there’s burlesque, tarot, and themed drinks! The higher-level tickets include free drinks, t-shirts and other “swag.” A designer who uses the word swag? Dreamy! Read our interview with Misty in this week’s Arts section. 7 p.m., Guilt & Co.. $30-$50.

Healthy relationships: What are they and what aren’t they A workshop that helps discern healthy versus abusive relationships. Topics include the cycle of violence, equality versus power and control, setting boundaries and communicating assertively. 1 p.m., Library 119. Free!

Thursday nov. 8 Happy Birthday Jason Schreurs Lordy lordy, look who’s 40! It seems like just yesterday that our Courier pal, all around karaoke junkie and famous music writer was just a young buck! We’re going to celebrate Jason’s birthday with a round of “Sk8er Boi” at a local dive karaoke bar. Chill out, what you yelling for?! All day, everywhere, cost of earplugs.

CSU Multicultural Night The International Students’ Committee of the CSU has decided to host a series of three multicultural nights. The first one features South Korea so they’ll be showing a Korean movie, and providing Korean food and beverages. Yum! Free food! 5 p.m., CSU Library Lounge. Free.

4608.indd 20

12-11-02 9:22 PM

Friday nov. 9 JD Samson and MEN Former Le Tigre member and all around awesome musician JD Samson now fronts the wonderful group MEN. They’re billed as an “art collective,” so maybe that means you get a little visual stimulation in there as well. Also featuring Vancouver DJs Maxwell Maxwell and Trevor Risk. 9 p.m., The Cobalt. $15.

Dan Mangan Everyone I know who likes Dan Mangan used to hate this now-famous Vancouverite, until they “gave him a chance.” And now he’s all they can talk about, and I’m 100 per cent sure they’ll be at this show. As for me, I’m still trying to figure out why his name is so awkward to say. 7 p.m., Queen Elizabeth Theatre. $28-$38.

Dance House Presents: The Tempest Replica In English class, I was always the kid who loved Shakespeare way too much. One day I bought a copy of The Tempest and was super excited, but never actually read it! Life regrets. Luckily, now I can see it performed as a dance piece. 8 p.m., Vancouver Playhouse. Prices range.

Baker’s Market Yum, baked goods! Including glutenfree, my tummy’s favourite! Get some macarons, cookies, muffins, pies, tarts, cupcakes, granola and more! 11 a.m., Moberly Arts and Cultural Centre. Cost of delicious chocolate cake.

Saturday nov. 10 El Ten Eleven Post Rock duo playing only instrumental tunes. Somehow I promise this is a lot more pleasant than it sounds. What about if I told you it’s only a bassist and drummer? They’re compared to a bunch of other bands I’ve always meant to listen to such as Trans Am and Godspeed You Black Emperor. Whatever, I’m too lazy. Just listen for yourself. Internet. Heard of it? 8 p.m., The Media Club. $12

Marpole’s Christmas Sale In my (very) humble opinion, it’s never too early for Christmas! Plus you have to go to Christmas sales ASAP so you can get your loved ones some of those carefully-made handmade gifts, without the work. Check out some baking, preserves, crafts and tasty refreshments. 10 a.m., St. Augustine’s Parish Hall. Cost of being an awesome gift-giver.

CCFC and You The Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada will be hosting an education symposium about Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Have the opportunity to speak with experts and get your questions answered. 9 a.m., Silvercity Riverport. $8.

Main St. Vinyl Record Fair Everyone knows vinyl is making a comeback, and it has a super sweet sound. Plus you get to feel so bossy changing over the records and hearing the tsch tsch sound as the needle finds the song or whatever. Check out the article in the Arts section for the scoop! 11 a.m., The Cambrian Hall. $2.

SUNday Nov. 11 Generationals Yeah! I interviewed one of these guys once, and it was a really last minute thing and the only place I could get wi-fi in a pinch was at a Tim Horton’s and he kept complaining that my “office is really loud.” Sorry, man. But on the positive side, Generationals’ music is really really good, like catchy indie pop that is featured in lots and lots of commercials but isn’t annoying. I do believe that was an oxymoron, but believe me. I believe in you, after all. 8 p.m., The Media Club. $12.

Remembrance Day Hopefully you already know what this day is for, but if not let me remind you: On this day in 1918, the armistice was signed that officially ended the hostilities of WWI. This is the day we remember those lost in that war and WWII. Many people choose to wear a poppy as a symbol of remembrance; I recently learned you can wear these on airplanes. All day, Commonwealth countries. Cost of wremembering.

Neil Young & Crazy Horse Okay so here’s a fun fact about Neil Young: his middle name is Percival, which is also one of Albus Dumbledore’s middle names! Amazing, right? Young is also Canadian, and really good at playing the guitar – really, those three things combine to turn him into an upstanding citizen. He’s also really famous, as demonstrated by his ticket prices. 7 p.m., Rogers Arena. $91-$205.

Milo Greene Another one of our darling indie bands, this quintet heralds from L.A., which I recently decided I want to visit so that I can go to the Friends set. Anyway, apparently they have four lead singers (not sure how this is possible), but my guess is that it probably sucks to be the fifth person who isn’t a lead. 8 p.m., The Media Club. $12.

Monday nov. 12 Leonard Cohen Wow, this week sure features a lot of Canadians (awesome, obviously!). Cohen is the Renaissance man of the arts, writing books, songs, and poems, and also being an amazing singer. He is the creator of my favourite, “Hallelujah”, as well as “I’m Your Man”. He’s basically been inducted into every hall of fame ever. 8 p.m., Rogers Arena. $60-$273.

Mozart’s Magnificent Mass Classical and choral music always make for a haunting combination, and this will be no exception. Mozart composed this piece six months before his death, 8 p.m., The Orpheum. $21-$28.

No Class! Remember how yesterday you spent all that time remembering? Yeah, today there’s no class because of it. The university is closed! Spend the day watching these shows: Sherlock, The Newsroom, Doctor Who. I’d add Gossip Girl to the list but I want you to take me seriously. All day, your house. Cost of TV.

the capilano courier

Gwar The fondest memory I have of Gwar is when Managing Editor Giles Roy reviewed their show and JJ Brewis, Editor-in-Chief, did illustrations for it. There was lots of fake blood on the picture, which sounds gross but looked pretty cool. The weird thing is, until about five seconds ago, I totally thought Gwar was a genre. 7:30 p.m., The Vogue Theatre.$37.

× volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 21

12-11-02 9:22 PM

Capilano Courier Story Meeting get a free red bull seriously.

the capilano courier

Ă&#x2014;

volume

46 issue N o . 8

join us for story meetings every tuesday at noon in maple 122

4608.indd 22

12-11-02 9:22 PM

the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

DEAR MOTHER Scott Moraes × Humour and Fiction Editor Dear Mother, I took an IQ test online and was awarded the score of 150. That means I'm a genius. You used to say it back in the days, when we played Scrabble and I not only got words no one else had even heard of, but spelt them correctly. I thought then that you were merely employing the well-known motherly device known as unconditional praise. After all, it didn't feel particularly impressive to me to retain some of the information from my nightly readings of my bedside dictionary. I have thus far underestimated my capabilities, and I fear it may have made a difference in my professional endeavours. Is this something I would want to include on my résumé, or should I merely resign myself to the limited scope of impressiveness demonstrated by my “previous work experience?” I feel I should attempt to learn Latin or some such dead and useless language. After all, being a genius brings great responsibility, and how do you prove you're a genius if not by exhibiting a true wealth of useless knowledge? Perhaps this would be the perfect moment to finally tackle Edward Gibbons' six-volume The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. I shall memorize the names and chronology (in Roman numerals, of course) of all Roman emperors and how long they lasted before they were poisoned by jealous lovers, stabbed in the back by conspirators, or fell victim to some plague. I have known, amongst my acquaintances, some many lost souls, who already in their mid-twenties, still have their dads tie all their ties and then just hang them up in the closet like that, for all of eternity. Is the fear of knowledge really that widespread? If ties are where we choose to draw the line, how long will we last as a thinking species, mother?

I am, however, reluctant to take this too far and break the tradition of modesty our family has been associated with for generations. Just a few days past, I went on a visit to the art gallery, and came upon a dreadful scene. A very pensive young woman froze in front of a painting at one point and uttered, with the deep complexion of a life-changing epiphany: “It's so... static”. To which a bearded gentleman replied, much to my own dismay: “Well, obviously, you bimbo, it's a fucking painting!” I thought it was a very valid point: indeed it was a painting and paintings are by nature static, but I should not want to be so arrogant as to disengage fully from the social contract and think myself above all. After all, without imbecility there would be no genius. Mother, if you wish to take the test yourself, I will send you a link to the website. I will also show you how to block pop-ups on the website because they distract you from the actual test with lures of money prizes and love matches, as well as occasional pornographic pictures. This is a deliberate attempt to test your moral strictness and your ability to focus, but since you have no doubt as to the state of your soul, I suggest you stick to the intellectual test. I hope all is well with all of you. Tell Jimmie that although he may not be the smartest one, he will always be the tallest one, and thus I will always look up to him. Love, Your son. ×× Susan Li

AQUAMAN VS. JESUS the capilano courier

Charlie Black × Writer

volume

46 issue N o . 08

4608.indd 23

they'd be crazy as shit. MARSHALL: And Jesus would serve them up for dinner, cook them with some divine goddamn lightning! He's Jesus. Even if He did die, He'd be back in three days to slaughter Aquaman in round two, New Testament style. NICK: What about God, huh? Jesus is about to finish Aquaman off, then His dad calls down from the skies and says, “Thou Shall Not Kill” and shit. Then what? MARSHALL: Aquaman wins by default. NICK: Ha! Aquaman wins! MARSHALL: By default! NICK: Whatever man, he still wins. MARSHALL: That might just be sacrilegious. NICK: Why, because I'm going against Jesus? MARSHALL: No, because you're rooting for Aquaman. He's the fucking Ringo Starr of The Justice League. Just along for the ride.

NICK: Okay okay okay. Who do you think would win in a fight: Aquaman or Jesus? MARSHALL: Is it a land battle or a water battle? NICK: A water battle, dude. Aquaman would be fucked in a land battle. MARSHALL: Nick, dude. Don't tell me you're rooting for Aquaman here. NICK: Hear me out. Aquaman would be in his element. He'd summon his fish friends. How many of Jesus' apostles could swim? MARSHALL: Peter was a fisherman. NICK: So was that fuckin' guy from Jaws. MARSHALL: Jesus can walk on water. He can turn the water into wine and get Aquaman wasted. If he's calling his fish friends to fight for him, they'll all be drunk as fuck. NICK: Exactly! A swarm of fucking drunk fish,

× Comic by Theresa hardy

12-11-02 9:22 PM

the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

Shot gun reviews : Anna l. beedes contest Our sex Coummist Anna L. Beedes was up for grabs. you had your chance. here are our favorite submissions ( or the best of the worst)

BACHELOR #1 Dear Anna,

BACHELOR #2 Dear Anna,

BACHELOR #3 Dear Anna,

BACHELOR #4 Dear Anna,

Since I first read your column I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. I dread the evening hours when I must prepare for rest, but what rest can I have when I must endure hours of torturous separation from the only thing that makes this life worth living? You're the only thing that makes my heart leap in my chest, the only thing that makes words stick in my throat. Come on this date with me, my love, and we will be united for eternity. We will spend the morning watching the glorious West Coast sunrise and in the evenings we will eat and drink among friends sharing the beauty of our love with those important to us. The hours will pass quickly but the moments will pass slowly. Like the winter sun searches for the beauty of a springtime flower, so my heart longs for you. I can only pray that seconds pass quickly until we can be united, if you so choose. Allow me the honour and I promise from then on, we will never part. The men of your past were fools to ever leave your side. Choose me, dear Anna.

The best first dates are the ones that play out like good dreams. They unfold in accordance not with some pre-determined and rigid structure, but rather flow naturally along with some ethereal and non-principled pace. They are dictated not by the conscious plans of a single agent, but by the interplay of various energies – some subtle, others wonderfully and readily transparent. They are characterized bya consistently pleasant mood, and suspend those experiencing them in a joyful and contented state. Their most memorable moments come intrinsically from them, are almost unintelligible from beyond the phenomenological forefronts of their experiences. And after having one of them, you wake up feeling happy. Anything could be the best first date; it's not what you do, but how you do it. That said, every first date should involve anal.

You have expressed a taste for features of Greek gods, and I feel I would greatly impress you on that front. I follow a daily workout with my Ab Belt and my Shake Weight. I sometimes have friends over and we play LOTR Trivial Pursuit or sing Sinatra songs on my karaoke (I can melt your heart with “Summer Wind”, mark my words). I've just finished my PhD dissertation entitled, Cranial anatomy of primitive captorhinidae reptiles from the Late Pennsylvanian and Early Permian, and the consequences of skullbone reduction on feeding behaviour. If you're interested, I could bring you a copy to our first date. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm looking for some casual fun, but if I look into the future and see the possibility of a wife and children, I'm ready for the leap – now or never, you know. Name the place, I'll be there (and I'll bring my Visa). But just so you know, I don't eat Chinese, Indian, Greek, Japanese, Southern American, or Southeast Asian.

My name is Bruce, and I am a weathered, experienced New York policeman, recently transferred to Vancouver. If I were to win this competition, I'd probably accompany you to a Christmas office party. Unfortunately, the date would be disrupted when a group of German terrorists decided to break into the company with guns and take the office party hostage in order to break into our vaults full of computer data or something - data worth money? Also, for the record, we'd pretend to be a divorced couple who have a few kids together. Anyway, the date would continue with me being the only one with the special skills needed to take out the German terrorists. I'd save the day and maybe we'd fall in love again? Anyway, we'd film our entire date and produce it under the title DIE HARD 6: THE SAME AS DIE HARD 1 EXCEPT SET IN VANCOUVER. I hope you'll consider me as a candidate.

Gods On Twitter LEAVES NATURE'S LITTLE PRANKS

Lauren Gargiulo × Writer @ThunderBoltsAndLightening (Zeus) I have such a headache!

“THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

1d ago

@WiseOwl (Athena) @ThunderBoltsAndLightening Can’t blame me this time!

the capilano courier

volume

46 issue N o . 8

@It's5PMSomewhere (Dionysus, God Of Wine) @ThunderBoltsAndLightening Join the club dad.

4608.indd 24

CHICKEN FINGERS LITERALLY THE WORST THING I CAN THINK OF 1d ago INDIE BANDS THAT SOUND LIKE RAFFI THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM

9h ago MY SON'S XBOX HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING ON, I JUST WANT TO PLAY SOLITAIRE

@Goddess_of_Love (Beautiful Aphrodite) Found a new favourite mortal today! He’s just so damn handsome! 9h ago @WiseOwl @ It's5PMSomewhere Well, maybe if you didn't drink so much… @ It's5PMSomewhere @WiseOwl Have you forgotten what God I am? @HeraLovesZeus (Hera) @ It's5PMSomewhere @WiseOwl

CLOUDS FLYING WATER! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHIT?

4h ago

It’s cause he’s from a broken family.

AIRPLANES WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF

4h ago

@ThunderBoltsAndLightening @HeraLovesZeus @ It's5PMSomewhere AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? ENOUGH! 3h ago @LetsStartARiot (Ares, God of War) @HeraLovesZeus @ThunderBoltsAndLightening Oooh! The Goddess of families messing things up again?

DISNEY BUYS STAR WARS BOTH ARE BAD

7h ago

×× Scarlett Aurbrey

BATMAN STILL THE MAN THE U.S. ELECTION WE'RE OBLIGATED TO MENTION IT

1h ago

(ReTweeted by @WiseOwl) (Favorited by @WiseOwl @ It's5PMSomewhere and 10 others)

12-11-02 9:22 PM