CANTA ISSUE 5, 2021

Page 1

EDITORIAL

I remember that I used to feel like such a druggy when I used to use an inhaler. As an asthmatic when I was younger, it was necessary to take my Ventolin or Flexotide with me to most places, especially on a school camp, where I would surreptitiously puff on it behind the dining hall to bring my lungs back up to speed. This was obviously the character development of the man I would become, and it seems that we have switched them out for Caliburn and Vaporesso. Remember how we used to shoot up heroin with those retractable pencil pens –what we called a ‘lead pencil’, despite all pencils having a lead? Or even that huff of a Vivid or the twink container? Those were some wild days, alright. Anyway, that debauchery has really shaped us all into functional members of society, who, as a species, party and sometimes sniff that Vivid.

That brings me to the actual point of this editorial, our Parties and Drugs edition. You’ll likely come across these things during your time at university, so we thought it would be appropriate to collate a range of experiences. With this theme, everybody has had a different take. Some have found their solace in sobriety; others think Harold the Giraffe couldn’t have been more wrong. As for me, I talk drug reform with Chlöe Swarbrick, funny things with Chris Parker, and make you my favourite end-of-the-night sandwich.

This magazine is about you. We neither encourage nor discourage any of the behaviours discussed within its pages; we’re just realistic here at CANTA. We tell your stories unashamedly.

However, if you think you’re behaviour is harmful, or perhaps that of someone around you is, trained counsellors at the New Zealand Drug and Alcohol Helpline can be contacted 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 0800 787 797 or by texting 8681.

Managing Editor

Liam Donnelly

Print Editor

Liam Stretch

News Editor

Emily Heyward

Designer

Conor Jones

Feature Writers

Neueli Mauafu

Lily Mirfin

Ella Gibson

Ella Somers

Contributors

Jasmine Irving

Ngawahine Thomson

Anne Nonymous

Logan Sanko

Emma Johnstone

Campbell Trewin

Ryan Crosbie

Digital Editor

Pearl Cardwell-Massie

Audio Editor Asher Etherington

CONTENTS CANTA TEAM
06 NEWS 09 BROKEN NEWS 14 CHRIS PARKER 16 MUSHROOM HUNTING 18 THE PARTY SMOKER 20 TO THE LEFT: CHL Ö E SWARBRICK MP 22 ELTON JOHN: AND HIS WILD PARTIES 24 FLAT FAMOUS 26 SOBRIETY ROCKS 30 I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE 44 LUCKY DIP
to get involved with canta? VISIT CANTA.CO.NZ - editor@canta.co.nz - print@canta.co.nz
Video Creative Director MaCaulay Quinn
Want

President ' s piece

Ahoy team!

I hope you are all settling back into term two! For me, this term has been hectic already; there’s a whole bunch going on. By the time you’re reading this, we’ll have elected our new Finance and Engagement Officer. I’m so excited to have them in this position and to start communicating more about what the Exec has been up to so far this year.

At the moment, one of the key things we’ve been up to is working our way forward with Te Akatoki, looking at both how we support them and the UCSA’s own treaty obligations and cultural journey. There’s a lot of work to be done in this space, and I’m excited about the opportunities this might bring for us all – in partnership and going forward. It’s important to acknowledge that Te Akatoki hasn’t had it easy in this space due to a number of structural barriers and to reassure everyone that this year’s UCSA exec is committed to progressing this.

We’re about what’s best for students, and elevating our tauira Māori governance and representation is part of this.

This fortnight’s CANTA is on parties and drugs. Recently I attended a pretty sobering meeting with a local Senior Sergeant and Noise Control, who talked about how parties have been recently in the Ilam-Riccarton area.

It sounds like there have been a few issues around here, and so now’s a good time to remind everyone that although parties are heaps of fun, it’s important to think about minimising the harm they might cause to everyone involved. It’s not fun to talk about, but parties can increase the risk of sexual harm, violence, harm from substances and alcohol, and risk pissing off your neighbours.

I thought I’d share my top tips for pulling off a great party because I love a good boogie as much as anyone:

Register your party on the Good One party register, and tell your neighbours that it’s going on. Some community members who call me mention that if they did know about parties in advance, they would go do something else for the evening. It’s worth giving them a heads up.

Plan out your substance use. This includes alcohol – how much are you going to drink, and how you’ll manage that with plenty of food and water to get you through the night. Consider if you’re drinking or consuming a safe amount, and start small if you’re unsure.

Avoiding drugs is the safest option, but if you are taking something, get it checked. Research what a safe dose is of a drug, and take it orally, as that allows your body’s natural defences to process it. Don’t combine drugs or alcohol – stick to one substance in a night.

Plan out who’s coming to a party, and put safeguards in place to ensure that you don’t get a bunch of randoms turning up. Look out for each other when you’re partying and prioritise consent –it creates a much safer environment than if everyone’s in it just for themselves and can mean you have a good time.

Stay off the road! Even if you’re messed up, traffic isn’t going to stop for you or your mates, so make sure to think about cars.

And – think about the liquor ban! You can get fined hundreds for just having a bottle open around here, which in my mind is a stink deal.

Above all, have fun!

24-HOURS OF BACKYARD CRICKET FOR MENTAL HEALTH

A bunch of freshers at College House are “fizzing at the bung” ahead of their 24-hour cricket marathon fundraiser later this month.

George Glover and his mates will be putting their backyard cricket (BYC) skills to the test in a bid to raise funds for mental health charity ‘I AM HOPE’, in the most “Kiwi-as” way.

“We were yarning, we were just thinking of crazy things that people have done ... just sort of doing something that hasn’t really happened before to our knowledge and then incorporating it with something we are all passionate about, which was fundraising for mental health counselling,” Glover said.

The players, made up of roughly two teams of seven and a sub, would play BYC until they had either run the equivalent of a marathon (about 2,500 runs) or reached the 24-hour mark.

“Whatever comes first; either the 24 hours or the distance, we will play to that,” he said.

But sixes and fours won’t count. The distance had to be made up of physical runs.

And the team of backyard cricket enthusiasts were aiming to raise $42,000 for the 42,000 metres they hoped to run.

Glover, who last year raised $64,000 for Mike King’s I AM HOPE Gumboot Fund after swimming the length of the Queen

Charlotte Sound twice (123 kilometres over 10 days), said the mental health charity was an important organisation to support.

“Everyone has their mental health battles, of course, and the beauty with I AM HOPE is how their system operates in getting the funding to those youth that need it.”

The charity connects and funds private counselling for youth needing support.

Glover, who was studying towards a Bachelor of Arts and a Bachelor of Science, said he was looking forward to the event getting underway on 28 May at College House.

“I’m buzzing. I’m fizzing at the bung. The boys and girls that we have involved as well are very, very passionate in their work ethic as well. It’s the people that are involved that make it,” he said.

Meanwhile, preparations were underway to ensure the players and supporters stayed fed, hydrated, and entertained throughout the fundraiser. Traeger Grills had sponsored the group to supply the barbeque, and the players were in talks with Redbull about supplying drinks and music throughout the night.

For more information and updates, follow the group’s Instagram @bycmarathon or donate at the Givealittle page (https:// givealittle.co.nz/fundraiser/marathon-innings).

6 NEWS

UNWANTED DRAMA FOR THE DRAMA SOCIETY

Members of DramaSoc are calling on the UCSA to step up its game and create a better environment for student clubs on campus.

From having to fight for performance space in the Ngaio Marsh Theatre to dealing with moldy storage facilities and broken promises, DramaSoc president Shania Lahina said the club had been facing “roadblocks” at every turn.

She said when it came to securing performance space in the Haere-Roa theatre, the club was up against competition from other clubs, external parties and issues with the booking system.

“It feels like [the UCSA] are not prioritising clubs or student wellbeing,” Lahina said.

For this year’s semester one production, DramaSoc were asked by the UCSA in March to consider moving their May show back a week due to an ‘admin error’ which meant the space had been double-booked.

Yet 24 hours after being asked to consider postponing their show, the club was informed the UCSA was no longer able to accommodate moving the show because it had accepted a new booking request made in that time.

Another time, Lahina said the club had the space booked out for a week, but a day before its dress rehearsal, was told by the UCSA the space was needed for another club event.

“All our set was still on stage, so we had to go early, pack it all away ... And in the mess, we lost items from cast, there were things left on stage that were damaged,” she said.

The club president said the UCSA had also promised to help the club find a new storage space for its costumes and stage props which were sitting in a leaky shipping container, but nothing came of it.

DramaSoc treasurer Kristen Truman said meanwhile the club was having to purchase new costumes and props to replace what was in the container as there was “mold everywhere”.

“A lot of our budget ends up going to costuming and props and set because if we store anything in the container (which we only have half use of), it will be destroyed by the time the next show rolls around,” she said.

The pair said the constant setbacks and issues had been “frustrating”.

“It always just feels like the UCSA isn’t on our side and there are many times when we have really felt that disconnect where we have been on campus for a really long time, but it doesn’t feel like we’re welcomed on campus or celebrated,” Lahina said.

UCSA president Kim Fowler said clubs were at the “heart of what we do at the UCSA” and was open to working through concerns clubs were having.

“I completely understand that this is a source of frustration for clubs, and really do wish that the space could be more available, but unfortunately there are a lot of conflicts for booking the Ngaio Marsh Theatre, which was designed to be operated as a multi-purpose space, not just a theatre.”

Fowler said external bookings had never taken priority over clubs during term time. However, in the holidays it was “first come, first served” as the UCSA was working to pay off its debt on the building and making money on external bookings helped.

DramaSoc’s production of ‘Love and Information’ will be held on May 14 and 15. Tickets were available online at eventbrite.

7 NEWS

INSTITUTIONALISED RACISM WITHIN UCSA SEES M ÃORI REP PAID ONE THIRD OF AVERAGE

The Te Akatoki - University of Canterbury Māori Student’s Association - representative on the UCSA student executive was asked to describe what mahi she did in order to justify why she deserved to be paid the same as general exec members.

Te Akatoki tumuaki Rosa Hibbert-Schooner resigned from her position on the student exec last week over major pay disparities, which saw her earn two-thirds less than general executive members despite doing the same amount of work.

Hibbert-Schooner, who earned $1,600 per annum, compared with the $5,200 general exec members were on, said her resignation was about taking a stand against institutionalised racism and highlighting the need for organisations and universities to “step it up” and honour their part in Te Tiriti o Waitangi.

“We were asked to kind of, not prove, but describe what mahi we do in that role to justify the increase of the pay and I kind of thought ‘well yep, that’s great you’re thinking about it but that’s not the process we want so I’m going to resign’ so it makes a bit more of a stand and we get some support in it so people know what’s going on and then secondly can help push for results,” she said.

But UCSA president Kim Fowler said it was about the UCSA making sure it knew that her time was “being used in the right way”.

“That wasn’t ‘we don’t believe you’re doing any work’ that was a ‘we can see you’re doing the work, we want to know exactly where it is, so we know that your time is being used in the right way and also if there’s any gaps there where we should be putting that role into other places or sitting on other boards where it’s actually more important for Te Akatoki tumuaki to sit,” Fowler said.

Hibbert-Schooner said she brought the pay disparity issue up at the beginning of the year but said it hadn’t been properly addressed until recently as the UCSA had been dealing with “a lot of crisis issues”.

When asked whether the UCSA would have done anything to address the inequity if Hibbert-Schooner hadn’t resigned, president Fowler said “absolutely” but thought it probably wouldn’t have happened as quickly.

“Absolutely because we were meeting to chat about it, but it wouldn’t likely have been addressed so quickly. It’s been a hectic term and we haven’t had a CEO so far and so it’s been really tricky to resource it essentially.

“It had been really obvious since the start of the year to the exec that this year Rosa was taking on way more responsibilities in the role and we were always intending to rescope it and increase that.”

Fowler said the reason for the difference in pay was because the remuneration had changed years earlier to accommodate the tumuaki at the time having to decrease their hours.

“At one point in time the Te Akatoki tumuaki couldn’t commit to doing more work for the UCSA on top of what they were doing for Te Akatoki and so at that stage the UCSA made the decision to rescope that role to one that was two hours a week, so they only had to worry about being at our exec meetings,” they said.

Fowler acknowledged that the UCSA needed to do better.

“The students association are a colonial institution and so I don’t think anyone has bad intentions, but I think we live in a pretty colonial society, and we are in the position we are, so I think we certainly have issues that we need to work on.”

Hibbert-Schooner said her resignation was much bigger than the pay disparity.

“The main issue here is not just money inequality, but it is the systemic bias we are facing and continuing to face … There is systemic bias within our society and furthermore in organisations. This is not just about the role but about UCSA as treaty partners and what they do for us.”

Hibbert-Schooner said tauira Māori were being under-valued and under-resourced across the board.

“I do think wellbeing support is a huge one for Māori students ... We have huge mental health issues and big disparities in health inequities but are not given the right support.

“We have a Māori counsellor and there is only one of them and they are part-time from what I last checked and that’s just not good enough,” she said.

Hibbert-Schooner wanted her resignation to start a bigger conversation and help create change.

“In 5 years’ time, do we still want to have Te Akatoki in a modest whare that’s breaking down and has a leaky roof or do we want to be utilising and sharing resources and making sure that no matter what association is, if it’s Māori or Pasifika or the Queer Canterbury group, that we’re all uplifted and can share resources because we are giving so much as students to the student body and it should be given more resourcing and just awhina from our UCSA organisation.”

She wanted Pākehā students and student associations across the country to listen and learn about the issues tauira Māori were facing and practise “being a good bicultural partner”.

The UCSA, Te Atatoki and other figures were set to meet to discuss changes to the role going forward.

8

NEWS

Free Drugs at Mono

In an attempt to entice more people to Thursday night’s Mono event, the UCSA is offering free drugs to those who attend.

“The numbers attending Mono are decreasing, so we had to ask ourselves, ‘What is the thing we’re missing that partygoers love?’ ‘The answer was pretty clear’.”

When queried about the logistics of offering free drugs, the UCSA explained they’d establish a “buffet-style set up” at the nearest bus stop.

While at Mono, students can request a “buffet break”, which will allow access to a great range of opioids, amphetamines, and hallucinogens.

Rhythm and Brutalism’ To Be Held At Puaka

James Hight Building

The University of Canterbury is the latest venue to join in the New Year’s Music Festival market.

‘Rhythm and Brutalism’ is the latest addition to the ever-increasing calendar of festivals around the New Year’s period.

The festival offers “12 floors of fun”, with each level of the Puaka - James Hight building “hosting a different vibe or genre of music”, according to a UC Press release.

The festival will culminate with Scribe seeing in the new year in the Undercroft.

Wolf Juice Receives UNESCO Heritage Status

The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization has granted ‘Heritage Status’ to Ilam, as the official home of the infamous Wolf Juice.

UNESCO announced last week it would be granting the status to Ilam due to the cultural significance of Wolf Juice, which was originally founded in the region.

“The cultural impact and the hugely important role it plays within student society means Wolf Juice and the region of Ilam, where it was founded, are deserving of this status,” said a UNESCO spokesperson.

The status means any Wolf Juice made outside of the Ilam region cannot officially be recognised as the beverage.

Parties, drugs, and alcohol are all fun and games until they’re not. When mates come together for a good time, no one wants the worst to happen, but sometimes things get out of hand. Too many people are drinking way too much and waking up on the neighbour’s lawn or scrapping over nothing and ending up in the ER. Partying and safety can go hand in hand if we do it right.

There are a few ways to keep yourself and your friends safe on a night out. It’s important to know your limit with every kind of drug. Do you need that extra pill? Are the shots really necessary? Once we are under the influence of any drug, our judgement is clouded, and this can lead to silly decisions.

I could give you the usual tips like drink water between beers and remember that eating isn’t actually cheating. To be honest, though, the best thing to ask yourself is this: is the hangover worth it? Try to enjoy a night out that you’ll remember and not be absolutely crook the next day.

Unfortunately, we can’t trust everyone to be safe around us, so we really need to double down on protecting ourselves. Never leave a drink unattended and lock eyes with your drink from the second the bartender starts pouring to the moment it’s in your hand. By staying vigilant with our drinks, we can prevent drink spiking.

It’s also crucial to know how you’re getting home, whether that be putting enough money aside for an Uber, a mates mum or the

glorious Sober D. Have some backup options just in case your Sober D forgets their responsibilities or your intoxicated brain tapped into your Uber bank account. Having this planned out can prevent you from trying to wander home or lingering outside the bar trying to sort a ride.

Another way to keep safe is to carry condoms even if you don’t plan on having sex that night. Drunken escapades can lead to anything, and carrying condoms can lower your risk of participating in unprotected sex. Preventing unwanted pregnancies with your one-night stand and lowering your chances of transmitting STIs are two great reasons to protect yourself in bed.

Sex while intoxicated is a risk in and of itself as all parties involved could be vulnerable to sexual assault, consent issues and wake up uncertain about what happened last night. Ensure everyone involved is able to think clearly and are aware of what’s going and, most importantly, enthusiastic about it.

A risky night out is not worth it in the grand scheme of things. By all means, have fun and explore the world but do it safely. Think about what drugs you are consuming and how much, protect yourself and your friends, and engage in enjoyable yet responsible sexual activity. Ka kite anō, e hoa mā!

@cdhbyac

10
Art By Logan Sanko

Chris Parker shot to fame after being a panellist on the likes of 7 Days and going on to feature on a podcast and TV show, The Male Gayz. Since then, Chris has featured heavily on the standup circuit and has graced the stage and screen in many different roles. Aside from comedy, Chris is a nationally recognised felt craftsperson, and a portrait featuring his lockdown felt crown is on the walls of Te Papa. Liam Stretch got to the person behind the funny.

For those who have had the drapes to the outside world closed, who are you?

My name is Chris Parker. I’m a comedian based in Tāmaki Makaurau but born on Ōtautahi. I make funny videos on my Instagram but also do lots on TV as well. I’m also a libra and gay - so that’s my personality sorted.

Describe your comedy style?

I would say camp, revealing storytelling with fun jokes and always a bit of a theatrical twist (I trained at drama school, so I can’t help but get a bit theatrical).

Your skills with felt have seen a rather seductive portrait of you admitted to the hallowed halls of Te Papa. Where did your skills with felt come from?

My skills with felting developed like any good craftsperson, just over time and out of boredom. Lockdown created the perfect opportunity to get really good at something so useless.

What do you like so much about felt?

I love that it keeps me distracted and allows me to relax when things are getting stressful and hectic in my life.

How did growing up in Otautahi shape your approach to comedy?

Well, I think growing up in a fairly conservative, repressed city (sorry Chch... but maybe it’s true) influenced the stories I tell from my upbringing. I also find lots of joy in being very open and expressive about my life now as a kind of counterreaction to that as well :).

Many people would have first seen you appear on The Male Gayz. One topic I recall from one episode is the little tog dryers from swimming pools and how you wished to have one in your house. Has this wish become a reality?

Let’s just say, I’m working on it (asked fiancé, he said no, we have to save to buy a house first).

Why do you think there are so many queer people in comedy?

Simply because we are the greatest people on earth, we’ve gone through barriers and come through the other side, so we have great stories and perspectives to share.

What’s the worst party you’ve ever been to? Why?

I have a love/bay relationship with parties for babies. Why have them? The kid isn’t conscious! They have no idea what’s going on. The food is always kids’ food, but it’s always adults who are attending. And they are always 10am on a Sunday. Fortunately, they only last an hour, and I am quite partial to some fairy bread every now and then.

You’ve spent some time as a stage actor too. Do you enjoy this medium more than the screen?

I love to be live and in front of crowds hearing the applause and laughter and connecting in one room together. But the tv money is 200 times better, hahaha.

If you were to produce a period drama, what would make the best storyline: Czech Hunter or Broke Straight Boys. And who would you cast?

Czech Hunter, who doesn’t love a wintery European period drama. It’s basically a portrait of a lady on fire but with men.

What’s your Burger King order?

BK Chicken with cheese and a Hershey’s Chocolate Pie (the greatest invention on earth - I would say dessert on earth, but I’m unsure if it’s actually food).

Would you rather be a rabbit or a cat?

A cat, call me by my name - Mr Mistoffelees.

Where can we see you?

In the car park of Countdown, eating a rotisserie chicken out of the packet.

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There are quite a few psilocybin-containing shrooms around, but the most common you’ll find here is the hardy wood-loving Psilocybe subaeruginosa.

You should know, in New Zealand, it is illegal to cultivate or prepare (meaning to collect, or to dry out in an oven on the lowest fan-forced setting with the door ajar until cracker dry, or to seal in a container with desiccant in a cool, dark place for long term storage) any mushroom containing psilocybin.

In fact, psilocybin is a Class A controlled substance. The powers that be believe it poses “a very high risk of harm” to individuals and society in its misuse. The Government officially regards psilocybin to be: highly dangerous, highly addictive, and of very little or no therapeutic benefit.

Of course, that’s all bollocks. Psilocybin is one of the safest, non-addictive psychoactive substances on the planet, with a great potential to be used therapeutically to treat PTSD, depression, cluster headaches, and death anxiety.

But that doesn’t mean foraging for edible mushrooms is without hazard. Some mushrooms will kill you or make you sick if you consume them, or even if you handle them and then touch your mouth. Never consume anything you aren’t 100 per cent sure you’ve correctly identified.

Anyway, mother nature’s government-subverting mycological Class A fruiting-bodies are recognisable by a few key features:

1. golden, sombrero shaped cap.

2. white, fibrous, moderately thick stem.

3. distinctive blue bruising of the white stem and cap.

Other psilocybes have similar – but not identical –features to the common psilocybe subaeruginosa (which all also bruise blue), and there are shrooms that bruise blue but which look nothing like a psilocybe.

So, while bruising is not sufficient for an ID, there are no blue-bruising shrooms that look like psilocybes. When

you have an ensemble of positive features plus the blue bruising, you probably have the goods, though getting a second opinion from someone more experienced is always important.

One thing to look out for is copper-based sprays which can look bluey, which are 1) not a good thing to consume and 2) do not indicate that a particular mushroom is actually bruising blue. If you are not 100 per cent sure what you have is safe to consume, please, for the sake of your liver, do not even try it.

Some mushroom mantras for you...

All mushrooms are edible; some are edible only once. Googling “poisonous mushrooms NZ” is not a waste of time.

A positive ID leads to a positive trip.

Don’t pick pins; let them open and drop spores.

Don’t pull out mycelium if you can help it (use clean scissors).

Shrooms are for sharing.

Don’t trip alone for your first trip. Subaeruginosa are potent, so you will not need very much.

Mushrooms can vary in potency, even within the same species, so dose cautiously.

Plan comfort and pleasantness, but don’t be afraid to face your demons.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go spray some p. sub spores around the campus woodchips. For further reading on this important topic, check out Know Your Stuff’s mushroom harm reduction information on their website: www.knowyourstuff.nz

17

I hate smoking, and by hate, I mean with a passion. The whole idea of being exposed to the smell of dirty gas on your clothes and body really annoys me. I’ve been friends with a lot of smokers, and still, I have never had the urge to show some sense of appreciation towards it.

However, when I am at a party, and I am feeling a bit buzzed out due to being intoxicated, all of this disgust for smoking goes out the window as I go around looking for a dart or two. At first, I thought it was just more of a one-time kind of thing, but later realised it was becoming a norm for me.

At first, it was kind of embarrassing, as I was being a hypocrite in contradicting my personal beliefs and distaste for smoking. Funnily enough, I started to see that it wasn’t only me that had this problem. It has been proven and set in stone that a lot of us are smoking only at social places, especially under the influence of alcohol.

The name “social smoker” is a common term for people who face the same situation as I do. It is proven that there are factors that contribute to socially smoking. Being in a social space such as a party can lead to peer pressuring an individual to pick up a durry. In crowded places such as your average Thursday night out at Mono, you are bound to give in for a puff. Keep in mind that even if your smoking is in the lines of socially dragging, you still are classified as a smoker.

It is important to signify, however, where you stand with all of this. Are you willing to change the social smoker from part-time to a full-time position? Is your health affected heavily by social smoking?

Yes, it is cool to be amongst your mates joining in on the smoke sesh, but there are downsides of being manipulated into it. Firstly, the health complications. Whether you deny that you are a smoker, being one socially already classifies you in the many health scares that come with it. I am not taking any sides and judging those who smoke, but you can’t hide the fact that it does take a jab at your body. Even if you smoke only now and then, it “harms virtually every system in the body,” says Bill Blatt from the American Lung Association in Washington, D.C.

So, what does this mean for those who are social smokers?

Personally, it is up to you and how you choose to accept it. Whether you now become a full-time smoker or just give it the boot, it is always good to seek out all the known details within the situation. Mapping out how it impacts your own situation is key because, let’s be honest, this decision can be affecting your future. Next time you think of grabbing yourself a quick dart at a party, have a think first of where you stand on the line of a social or straight up smoker.

If not, then go ahead and have a puff.

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Currently the electorate MP for Auckland Central, this 26-yearold came to our attention when she ran in the 2016 Auckland mayoral election. Unsuccessful, she then was selected as a parliamentary candidate for the Green Party of Aotearoa in the 2017 election and was elected as the number seven on the party list. Running in 2020 in the Auckland Central seat, she was successfully elected as the member for the electorate, beating National’s Nikki Kaye, who had held the position for 12 years.

Despite not entering politics to be the face of drug reform in the country, Chlöe has quickly become the go-to spokesperson for the media and the nation on all related issues. This is mostly due to her work on the Misuse of Drugs (Medicinal Cannabis and Other Matters) Amendment Bill and the Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill and referendum. She has since taken the mantel to be the Green Party’s drug reform representative and has moved to number three on the Party list.

Liam Stretch got to the nitty-gritty of Swarbrick’s feelings on drug reform, harm reduction, and how her perspectives are shaped by facts.

For Swarbrick, her passion for seeing active drug reformation in New Zealand boils down to a couple of key motivating factors, evidence, contradiction, experience.

“Why is this meaningful to me? It’s because of justice and a sense of frustration that nobody in parliament goes into bat for an addict. Who goes into bat for recognition of the fact that World Health Organisation data shows approximately 90 per cent of illicit drug use isn’t problematic, it’s entirely recreational and only about 10 per cent is problematic – that which leads to addiction or overdose or otherwise?” Swarbrick said.

Chlöe believes that the opportunity for meaningful conversation is being dismissed as the issues are swept under the rug, or there is blatant dishonesty from a number of the political elite.

“There is a huge part of this conversation that we miss. It is highlighted when politicians are door stopped or stopped on the tiles when they go into Question Time, and every few months, they are asked by journalists when the last time they used cannabis was, and the majority will say, and are on record in saying, that they had used it back in the mists of time.

“The reality is they now oversee a law that penalises people for engaging in the exact behaviour they did, but worse than that, when it comes to things like the synthetic’s crisis, it’s sentencing people to death. So, that’s why it’s so meaningful for me.”

Chlöe adds that “so many politicians will express completely different opinions behind the scenes as they are willing to in the public sphere, so, for me, it is a matter of integrity”.

Swarbrick says that she is overwhelmed by the confluence of evidence for drug decriminalisation as a system of harm reduction. She cites two Government initiated reports – one by the Ministry of Justice and one from the Ministry of Health. The former suggests decriminalisation and regulation investigations as a possible remedy, and the latter virtually said decriminalise them all.

When discussing drug reform policy, Swarbrick and Green Party’s intentions rise from frustration for doing things the same way.

“I just go back to my experience at the UN in Vienna, which is the birthplace of the war on drugs internationally, it’s called The Commission on Narcotic Drugs. We had country after country say, ‘we’ve got more overdose deaths, we have more people in prison, we’ve dished out harsher penalties, we’ve got more drugs, we’ve got harder drugs. We’ve got to do the same thing but do it harder’. What’s the definition of stupidity? Doing the same thing over and over again.”

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Liam Stretch (he/him)

When asking if she could breakdown the drug reform policy of the Green Party of Aotearoa, she revealed it centres around the reality of use in New Zealand and first points to cannabis legalisation, highlighting stats from the Dunedin and Christchurch Longitudinal Studies, which revealed that 80 per cent of all New Zealanders would have tried cannabis before they turned 21. Swarbrick and the Greens believe there is no way to really stop usage, but there are ways to make it less damaging.

”We know that the best way to reduce harm is to legally regulate that substance, and the majority of that usage does not produce problems; the best way to reduce the potential for harm is to inform people and to make sure that we have funding available for services for people who do need help and an opportunity to intervene if there is problematic usage.”

Swarbrick adds that such responsibility is allowed for when there is a legal duty of care in a legally regulated supply chain.

A further aspect of the Party’s drug reform policy is a proposition for effective decriminalisation of personal uses substances, which is to say, that criminalising people for using substances doesn’t work, yet only driving them underground.

“Right now, we have a status quo of unknown people in unknown places, consuming unknown substances, with unknown quality and unknown effect.”

Swarbrick believes this is a product of ineffective prohibition in which substances get harsher and harsher and more potent, leading to the maximisation of harm… moonshine, anyone?

Further elements of the reform policy pertain to medical or therapeutic application for certain substances. For example, supporting the University of Auckland led research into psilocybin.

Asked whether she was frustrated with psilocybin – the stuff found in shrooms – still being a Class A drug, in the wake of other countries and US states decriminalising or legalising the substance, she said, “my frustration with the Misuse of Drugs Act 1975 knows no bounds. She believes that it is the major impediment to us having a logical, compassionate, or even conservative, and has 1970’s ideology and ways of thinking as its backbone.

Wondering whether dated thinking was a cause for the failure of the legalisation of cannabis at a referendum last year, I put the question to Swarbrick, who prefaced her response with the fact she holds no blame to those who voted ‘No’ and regularly takes on board their arguments against.

“I think one of the many reasons will be the level of specificity. We didn’t operate this referendum in the way that I argued from the very beginning, which was that we should have had a bill

that had passed all the way through parliamentary procedure, which, in turn, meant going into the referendum that people knew it would get into law. What we had was something that a lot of people had uncertainty as to how it would progress.”

Swarbrick puts part of this uncertainty down to a lack of civics education in schools, with people not knowing what the difference between a bill and an act is, or the meaning of either, as well as the nuances of the parliamentary process.

“It also meant that we didn’t get to have a meaningful debate about the specifics inherent in it.”

This saw a number of runaway moral panics, which were picked up by political players. Many of whom, Swarbrick would argue, “were acting in bad faith”.

“That’s not to be conflated with saying those who voted ‘No’ voted in bad faith, I absolutely do not believe that, but I do think that some people who were advocating for the ‘No’ vote wilfully misused evidence.”

She believes that further promotion around useful tools such as a draft law or the Prime Minister’s science advisor’s report into the opportunity of harm reduction would have helped clear some confusion. Another spanner in the works was that the discussion became more about whether ‘you like, use, or support cannabis’ and not ‘do you support the Legalisation and Control Bill, a public health model to reduce harm?’.

“It was a misrepresentation of what was actually on the table here.”

Until we get effective change, there are currently systems separate from the government which act to reduce harm, and such activations have been granted permission to continue their work at areas such as festivals. One such example is Know Your Stuff, which offers drug testing discreetly and confidentially. Swarbrick believes such organisations should be funded.

“Yes, it absolutely should be funded. The thing I would say as well, that in 2019 we fought and won for the changes to the Misuse of Drugs Act. Obviously nowhere as far as it needed to be, but it at least meant that Police discretion was applied by default when sending people down the criminal justice route.”

The harm reduction measures allowed for a fund available for drug harm reduction measures that funded a project in her electorate called Haven for people dealing with synthetics harm; within that same package, “there is the ability to fund things like Know Your Stuff”.

“As we’ve seen from research overseas, even from the UK, there’s been a 95 per cent reduction in hospital admissions from festivals by virtue of having legal drug checking.”

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22

The Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party has been bringing glitz, glamour, and celebrities together since 1993. Considered one of the best as well as most memorable after parties to go to following the Oscars ceremony come to an end, rich and famous people from all over the world are invited to attend.

It wasn’t Sir Elton John that produced the first Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party in 1993. Instead, The Hollywood Reporter writes, it was actually Hollywood political activist and executive director of Rock the Vote Patrick Lippert, “who had become ill with AIDS, came to EJAF with the idea and threw the first bash at Beverly Hills’ Maple Drive restaurant”. Tragically, Lippert died three months later at the age of only 35. Since then, the Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party has taken place every year and raised a significant amount of money to fund AIDS research.

Whereas Vanity Fair’s famous Oscar party has lost guest numbers over the years, and its tight rules and regulations have meant their party has lost some of its shine, Elton John’s Oscars event seems to become more popular every year. Perhaps it’s the beloved star factor that Elton John brings to everything he does, or maybe it’s the important cause - likely it’s a mixture of both. Forbes writes that attending one of Elton John’s academy

award parties meant people “got to attend and enjoy a very memorable and surreal night, all while raising funds for an important cause. It’s that combination that has made this event relevant for 26 years, with no end in sight”.

At invitation-only, expensive tickets, a guest list packed with people who have large bank accounts, as well as a celebrity auction, the money raised from Elton John’s Academy Award parties is always in the millions. This year’s party, for the first time in its history, was live-streamed due to COVID-19. Members of the public were invited to join an hour-long pre-recorded show special, with tickets costing $20 instead of in the thousands. This year’s party raised $3 million USD, adding to the over $70 million USD that Elton John’s Academy Award parties have raised for AIDS research over the last 29 years.

The Oscars might be the pride of Hollywood elites, but the anticipation and buzz around Elton John’s AIDS Foundation Academy Awards parties seems to grow every year. Elton John’s Oscar parties are described as having all the glossy drama, prestige, and glamour that only comes from the rich and famous. Growing from strength to strength over the last 29 years, Elton John’s AIDS Foundation Academy Awards parties show no sign of ending anytime soon.

23

Flat Famous

T-RUSS LEVI HENRY

is your finest example of peaking at high school, he’s gone from an athletic, bottom tier rower to a bottom tier amateur DJ who traded out the morning workouts for Big Gary’s and Captain Bens.

hails from the not-somighty Whanganui and has also delved down the path of Brother Josh, working hard on the tools during the day and even harder in the bedroom during the night.

JOSH JONTY

has taken a simpler path to the rest of the boys, in becoming a tradie, where he spends the majority of his day either sucking on his unbearable vape or committing sins in the job site portaloo.

is often heard rambling on about his 4th placed Highlanders and when he is not talking about how they got robbed, he’s talking to his matches on his joint Bumble account with Brother Murphy.

is the hero of the flat, he has discovered more than one way to use a pool table and often forgets that there is such thing as a toilet when he goes to sleep on a Saturday night.

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Brother T-Russ Brother Levi Brother JOSH Brother Henry Brother zac

ZACK

HARRY RICKY MURPHY

JONTY HUNTER

quite often disappears during the late hours of the evening to “treat himself” after a long study session, we still aren’t sure if this means going to maccas for a fro-co or a quick trip to his missus’ flat.

isn’t shy to being featured in CANTA; the 2019 Sex Issue was the highlight of his university career and he will remove his kit on demand for nothing less than a $2.50 fried rice and a game of pool.

is rarely sober. A common weeknight involves him smacking a bottle of wine “in the name of Jesus” so that he is warmed up and ready to cook our flat dinner for the night.

Brother Ricky is one of the nicest humans you will meet, until you leave your dishes out, the lounge messy, interrupt him studying, have loud music playing, leave your washing in the machine or not clean up after cooking. Everyone loves Ricky.

actually spends more time in Wellington with his missus than he does in our flat. He has missed multiple of the boys 21sts and getting him in for this photo involved getting a signed permission slip.

Brother jonty Brother murphy Brother hunter Brother ricky Brother harry

SOBRIETY ROCKS

“You don’t need alcohol to have fun.”

- Everyone’s Mum when they’re 16 and want a box of Smirnoff Ices

Sobriety isn’t something I thought would ever come into my life. Except maybe if I ever became pregnant. You see, I’ve never been that big of a drinker. I was always a lightweight and only really drank socially. But I’m pretty social, so I would end up drinking at least one night a week. More if I wasn’t living with my parents. But then alcohol started having some negative effects on my body. My body couldn’t just try and hold on until I was 30 or something. Why did it have to strike me down in my prime? I wasn’t feeling my best and decided that cutting it out completely would be good for at least a little while. Then I felt significantly better and realised that alcohol just wasn’t for me anymore. Now all I needed to do was figure out how I would survive university socially while avoiding alcohol completely.

Here is your unofficial official guide for surviving parties sober

Now, I am required to acknowledge that I’ve only been sober since February (thanks, Ella Gibson, for constantly reminding me of this). I’m no expert in the field; this is simply my recent experience.

If you’re insecure about not drinking, which, to be honest, I am, then you should carry some sort of drink that isn’t immediately recognisable as non-alcoholic. Pretty much avoid carrying around a coke. Beer pong isn’t off-limits if you can rinse out the cups before you start and not mix your drinks up with whoever you’re playing with. I mean, you could probably still do a Yardie if you wanted to, but is it even a great idea to begin with?

A night in town costs next to nothing now. Most bars will give you free non-alcoholic drinks for sober driving. I don’t even sober drive; I just keep my car keys in my purse and pretend that I am. My last night out cost me $15, including Ubers. Saving your money in town, priceless.

No one is going to realise that you’re not drinking. The only times that I really miss alcohol is on the occasional Friday and Saturday nights when you’re not too tired and then at the 21st where you don’t know all that many

people. But the morning after is more than enough to make up for being sober the night before. Sundays suddenly became full days where I could get things done and enjoy my time as opposed to being a half-day where you’re still a bit drunk or a bit hungover.

I didn’t want to be ‘the sober friend’. It was something that took a bit of time to accept. I decided that my party identity would be the stealthily sober one. The one you aren’t sure if they’re drinking but are amazed by their ability to bounce back the next day. Being sober isn’t a reason to stay home. If anything, going out becomes easier and safer. Going to Mono or town doesn’t need to involve alcohol. Most of the fun is genuinely in making memories with your friends.

Sure, alcohol can be fun. But it can also be endangering to yourself and others. Everyone has a unique relationship with alcohol. Don’t assume that your own relationship is good because it doesn’t seem as bad as someone else’s. The New Zealand drinking culture isn’t the best, particularly at university. Alcohol is permeated into the university experience. So, coming to terms with the fact that it will no longer be part of mine was difficult and a real adjustment that’s still ongoing.

Binge drinking seems to be a part of the New Zealand drinking culture that isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Although this is normalised, there does need to be some education on the long-term effects of drinking in this manner. The fact that I have an excuse to not be drinking shouldn’t even be part of the conversation. We should all be able to say no to alcohol just because we don’t want to drink. No excuse is necessary. But it seems like having an excuse to not drink is far more socially acceptable than someone saying, “it’s just not for me”. Collectively as a student population, we need to make sure that saying no to alcohol is an option. Peer pressuring someone into drinking isn’t ok, neither is mocking someone for a personal choice.

Going out and being social sober is fine. You still enjoy yourself; you still have fun. But you also have the next day too. Your Saturday night out doesn’t suddenly take your Sunday too.

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What started as an attempt to shift chronic tobacco smokers away from the leaf has now become a breath of youth inhalation. Vaping now stars as the main attraction in uni culture. If you go to any gig these days, I would doubt that you have been able to see past the vape cloud conglomeration that sits upon the heads of our drum and bass loving cohort. What strikes me as concerning is the following statement released by the Ministry of Health (MoH) in 2020, “despite some experimentation with vaping products among smokers, vaping products are attracting very few people who have never smoked into regular vaping, including young people”. This was written in their official 2020 position statement on vaping.

You don’t have to be a genius to realise that this statement is wildly incorrect. Yes, vaping has moved many cigarette smokers away from the durry, which is primo. But look around, ask the next vaper you see whether they were ineradicably addicted to cigs before. I can guarantee you that the majority of vapers today were not. And that is the problem that needs urgent addressing, especially when youth are at the crux of this controversy.

Introduced as a safer alternative to smoking tobacco, vaping came into the scene initially via a computer screen. Before 2018, vaping was legal, but to get the goods, you had to order them online and pay to have them delivered to you. But in June 2018, the MoH declared that e-cigarette or electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) “can be legally sold in New Zealand”. The New Zealand Medical Journal said that this decision was made “without sufficient and timely Government policies and mechanisms to control marketing”. The opening of this free marketplace meant that you could now sell, use, purchase and advertise vaping products anywhere. This new accessibility skyrocketed vaping’s marketing as seen in 2019 when there was a 190 per cent increase in advertising, otherwise known as 2 million bucks.

It is completely admirable that the 2011 Government wanted a “Smokefree Aotearoa” by 2025. But the problem lies within the blatant dismissal of this undeniable magnitude of people - especially young people that would not dare touch a cigarette - that are now addicted to the nicotine in a vape. When you have vapes plastered with innocent, colourful and alluring imagery, made to look all desirable in sex appeal and can come flavoured as a “circus cookie” or as “loaded glazed

donuts”, are you really surprised that 12 per cent of secondary school students in Aotearoa today vape regularly? And that is secondary students, imagine us, the feening uni students!

Vaping is considered a safer alternative to smoking, but just because that is relative to something directly proven to give you cancer, does that necessarily make it “safe”? Or is vaping just the lesser of two evils? Most ENDS consist of three main components: solvents (typically propylene glycol to dissolve nicotine and vegetable glycerin to produce the vape cloud), sweeteners and flavours. Agencies such as the Food and Drug Administration have recognised these ingredients as safe, but those compounds are consumed as food, not as heated aerosols. Little is known about their effects as heated aerosols, but incoming research has suggested that vaping may contribute to asthma, pneumonia, and severe lung damage. Even a TikTok went viral, showing a 22-year-old girl who had been vaping for four years with severe lower back pain. After an MRI, her doc informed her that her spinal discs that were supposed to be white and thick were actually almost black and squashed down from the nicotine. Nicotine, funnily enough, changes the chemical makeup of your discs and essentially makes them deteriorate. As well as that, nicotine is associated with high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, blood clotting, and pneumonia. Generally speaking, you just don’t want to get yourself addicted to it.

The new Vaping Amendment Act commenced on 11 November 2020 to slowly implement vaping regulation. The full regulation is expected on 11 February 2022, where vape retailers such as dairies and petrol stations “must only sell notified products, must display health warnings and R18 notices and can only sell tobacco/mint/menthol flavours”. Increasing research indicates that vaping is a “worrying epidemic”, such as one by Jude Ball of Otago University that shows in 2019, 12 per cent of teens were regularly vaping – that’s more than the 5.4 per cent of young adults that were smoking cigarettes in the first place in 2015. So by the time that the proposed regulation comes into play, will it even be effective enough to kick the habit if more and more young people become chronically addicted to the fruity flavoured fumes? Time will only tell. But before casually picking a vape because your mate passed it in your direction, ask yourself: “Is it worth the potential risk?” That lil sucker may taste, smell, and feel good (trust me, I know), but the reality that is revealing itself is suggesting that the truth ain’t so sweet.

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Liam Stretch (he/him)

On April 19, it was Bicycle Day. I can feel some of you grimacing with the perception that there is a day celebrating bike riding. However, you would be mistaken if you thought this was commemorating any normal ride on two wheels.

Bicycle Day pays homage to the first intentional ingestion of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). Way back in 1943, a wee Swiss man named Albert Hofmann from the pharmaceutical company Sandoz had been experimenting with Acid for some time; after trying to synthesise ergot as a respiratory and circulatory stimulant, he accidentally absorbed some through his fingers. After experiencing some mild effects, three days later, he decided to ingest a whopping 250 micrograms of the stuff and take a gentle bike ride, as our story does take place in Switzerland after all.

What would follow would change Hofmann’s life forever. During the journey, Hofmann quickly spiralled, and he was overcome with anxiety and believed that his neighbour was a malevolent witch (we’ve all been there) and that he was going insane, and that the LSD had poisoned him. Following the house call of a doctor, who talked him out of the hole and reassured him of his physical wellness – the only sign of any abnormality were his saucer-like pupils – Hofmann began to vibe with his trip.

“... Little by little, I could begin to enjoy the unprecedented colours and plays of shapes that persisted behind my closed eyes. Kaleidoscopic, fantastic images surged in on me, alternating, variegated, opening and then closing themselves in circles and spirals, exploding in coloured fountains, rearranging and hybridising themselves in constant flux ...”

Following this experience, Hofmann would go on to regularly dose himself with LSD, and he realised that he had discovered a

significant drug. Though, due to its potency, he did not picture it being used recreationally, rather as a powerful psychiatric therapy.

It was used in a number of psychiatric settings and even in New Zealand.

By 1964, ‘acid tests’ in therapeutic settings were commonplace in New Zealand. Records show that Delysid – the pharmaceutical product name – was provided free by Sandoz and being administered to ‘consenting’ Kiwi patients throughout the country.

It became part of the global and NZ party and art scene, yet its time free of the law was short-lived.

LSD remained legal until the mid-1960s. Following it blowing up in the flower power and youth scene, it was made a Schedule 1 substance and was first outlawed in Nevada and California in 1966. New Zealand went on to criminalise lysergic acid in 1967.

Despite its illegal public status, the CIA had a great interest in it during the Cold War years, in which it was a part of the MKULTRA programme, a name in the halls of infamy for the research around mind control. People from prostitutes to soldiers were given the drug, often without their knowledge, and the results were recorded.

In recent years, research around LSD’s potential therapeutic abilities has been revisited, including a study at The University of Auckland last year. It remains Class A in Aotearoa.

Hofmann died from a heart attack at 102 in Switzerland.

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Art By Emma Johnstone

It’s 2021, and the referendum didn’t pass. How do you feel about that?

Well, I feel very disappointed as there was so much effort put into this referendum. The club activities increased even through the ups and downs of COVID. As a club, we were doing our best, and when talking to the students, it gave us hope as most people were for legalising cannabis. It was disappointing, but we will be even more prepared for the next one, whether or not I’m the president!

What’s BUDSOC got in store for this year?

This year we will maintain our weekly activities. Each week we have our usual protest, and every second week we have special events such as blazer strike, movies nights, crafting nights, board game nights, that sort of thing. There might even some new events that we will be developing as an executive for next semester.

If the referendum did pass, what would BUDSOC have transformed into?

BUDSOC would have become a drug harm-reduction club. We might have pursued joint-rolling events/competitions or perhaps could have moved onto focusing on being a social club for psychedelics. [We could] Perhaps be educating people about shrooms, the same way we currently do for cannabis. We might

have become a club that hosted more overt “get high and have a yarn/watch a movie” type of nights, as an alternative to the “get drunk and fucked up” nights clubs tend to get away with hosting, basically promoting binge-drinking culture. We came up with a lot of ideas at the AGM last year, but it’s okay… maybe one day we will be able to use those wonderful ideas in the future?

How has the referendum result changed what BUDSOC does in the future?

It hasn’t. Act like it’s legal, right? The referendum just stopped us going ahead in a different direction. We are still doing exactly what we had been doing in the past, with new, creative and fun educational cannabis activities.

If you could swap how alcohol is treated in law with how cannabis is, would you do it?

This is just a personal opinion, but I think that all drugs should be legalised. There is so much more harm done when they are illegal. As a country, we could follow the example of those that have already done it, where we can see the results are positive. To answer the question, though, I would swap them, as it would cause less harm to the people around me. Having said that, alcohol can be used positively to have a good time, just like cannabis. With all of these things, moderation is key.

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BUDSOC is the University of Canterbury society for the normalisation and legalisation of cannabis. CANTA spoke with president Inga Tokarenko, for this Parties and Drugs edition.
Art By Campbell Trewin
34

There was no experience as elite as entering the Life Education Trust van as a school kid. Carpeted walls, half cut open mannequins, and the NZ Big Bird of life’s education were an escape from the regular classroom; you knew that you were in for a good time. But the party would truly begin when Harold the Giraffe would pop out of a black curtain conveniently as soon as the tutor slipped their hand behind it. The deity, the god himself; Harold spoke nothing but truths enlightening the unadulterated ears of the young kids of Aotearoa.

One of the prevalent topics that Harold preached about was substance use. “Don’t do drugs, kids, they’re bad”, Harold would declare, you know the classic saying that we have been illuminated with our whole lives. We were presented with sufficient education on why they were bad and what could happen if things went too far. Harold was the pinnacle of drug education, and he told us to not do them, but did that work? I think that uni students are the first point of empirical evidence to suggest that just telling someone not to do drugs may not be the best way to cultivate less harm.

Growing up, I always thought that I would never do or experiment with drugs. For most kids, this was the shared mindset. Harold the Giraffe, health classes at school, and society in general persistently preached this narrative that drugs were evil. Older folk would caution kids with this drug dismay while at the baseline be either ingesting caffeine, inhaling nicotine, and most likely engaging in regular alcohol guzzling. Slightly ironic, don’t you think?

During high school, I experienced this perspective shift towards drugs. It was as if someone switched the framed “lens of fear”

that I had been instructed to look through to an alternative angle of curiosity. And like most, I experimented. Luckily, within reason but I had to work out that realm myself. Of course, that is typical at the onset of adolescence to participate in more risky behaviours, but it is also inevitable.

Here comes the double-edged sword; not wanting to necessarily endorse drug use but simultaneously wanting to reduce the harm of substance use. But if drug use (in a reasonable sense, we’re hopefully not shooting heroin here) is inevitable, then wouldn’t we logically want to make it as safe as possible? This is the thing: people are going to do drugs. There, I said it, who would have thought? This conundrum is nothing out of the ordinary; it has already been surfaced a multitude of times before. For example, recent cases such as the 2020 marijuana referendum and enforcing drug testing at festivals in New Zealand were nothing but controversial. Obviously, the negative referendum result lies as evidence for this. All I am proposing is that we stop glorifying and sugarcoating a world without drugs to kids. Moreover, we should consider resources to educate children and promote safe drug use.

As to what those resources would be, I am unfortunately not sure, and I think that the quest for an answer to that query would be a difficult one as well. But more than that, it is also incredibly important. If our current method of scaring kids with the looming thought of “drugs are bad”, only to have them left at the inescapable juncture of being curious without any proper education and safety precautions, it leaves me worrying. Harold, you’ve forever been the real MVP, but maybe it is time to call for an assessment of the other end of the sword.

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Ella Gibson (she/her)

WANT TO SHOW OFF YOUR ART?

SUBMIT YOUR ART ON OUR WEBSITE!

Art By Ryan Crosbie

Now That’s What I Call RDU

Live podcast series in celebration of NZ Music Month/Te Marama Puoro o Aotearoa[[[[[[[[[

PROUDLY MADE WITH THE SUPPORT OF õ TAUTAHI MUSIC VENUE, 12BAR

In celebration of NZ Music Month, RDU 98.5FM kicked off a live podcast series on Monday 3 May, taking place on ‘The Morning After’ breakfast show throughout the month of May. The series aims to delve deep into therich history and culture that has helped shape the Ōtautahi music scene to what we see today. Each week willfocus on a different decade, starting in the 1980s and moving through to the 2020s for the final episode.

Hosted by RDU 98.5FM’s breakfast duo, Ben O’Connell & Josh Watson, the pair will welcome guests from across the eras. Taking a closer look at what was going on within the local scene at the time,

uncovering the memories and of course, revisiting some of the incredible music that has been produced in the city we call home.

“This is a really exciting take for us on NZ Music Month for RDU 98.5FM. The idea formed from discussions wewere sharing about RDU’s 40th celebrations at the Canterbury Museum Exhibition in 2016. This month’s activity should be another look back into the history books for the stories and people who formed our Kaupapa over the decades. Tune in!” - Simon Claridge, Station Manager, RDU 98.5FM”

The twenty-one episode live podcast series will feature discussions from an array of key players across the local scene including the likes of some of Ōtautahi’s trail blazers:

Tiki Taane (Salmonella Dub)

Jason Peters (Pumpkin Head)

Jay Clarkson (The Expendables)

Natalia Sheppard (MC Tali)

Other guest include long standing RDU 98.5FM show hosts:

Mike Williams (Soundcheck)

Greig Bainbridge (Demo Crew)

Gretchen McKinlay (Girlschool)

Hat Meier (The Hit List)

Featuring alongside members of the RDU 98.5FM community from past and present, including:

James Meharry (Pylonz, RDU 98.5FM Station Director, 2006 - Present)

Spanky Moore (RDU 98.5FM Past Breakfast Host)

Gemma Syme (RDU 98.5FM Content Manager 2015 - 2018)

Katy Yiakmis (RDU 98.5FM Past Station Manager)

Zita Joyce (RDU 98.5FM Past Station Manager).

Listeners can tune in live on RDU 98.5FM each weekday between 8- 8.30am to the series that kicked off on Monday 3 May 2021, or listen on demand by visiting rdu.org.nz

THE 3am sandwich

TIME CAPSULE ISSUE 21 SEPT 21, 1981

WANT TO GO ON A BLIND DATE FOR LUCKY DIP? APPLY FOR LUCKY DIP ON OUR WEBSITE

dipper one

As I sat waiting for my date to arrive, I thought to myself “wow, I can’t even make a blind date work”. It was half and hour since our date was supposed to start and I was still sitting alone. Whatever is out there, whether it’s a higher being or just some earthly spirits, wants me to die alone I’m pretty sure. I’ve had some disastrous dating experiences (hence why I chose to do Lucky Dip, it takes the control out of my hands) and I’ve had time to relive them all in my head while waiting for my date. I attempted to distract myself from my miserable memories by daydreaming what this man might look like.

Sure enough, just as I start daydreaming I hear a “hey” behind me and I turn around to see quite the handsome gentleman. He apologised for being late (something he would continue to do all night, which was sweet), sat down, and immediately started chatting away. He was very engaging and was just as interested in listening as he was talking. We actually had loads of things in common, sharing similar tastes in books and gaming! Occasionally I’d get lost in his stunning dark green eyes, which really stood out on his rather hairy face.

As we were eating, it started getting quiet so I took the opportunity to ask him about his plans for the future, after his graduation. He confidently confirmed he had secured a job and would be moving to Melbourne at the end of 2021. In what might’ve been the stupidest move of the night, I jokingly replied “oh that’s cool, I’ve never done a long distance relationship before”. I was just desperately trying to be funny, instead I think I appeared desperately psychotic. The look he shot me as soon as I’d said it was this weird combination of scared, concerned, and sympathetic. Realising the joke did not come off the way I hoped it would, I quickly tried to cover my tracks by laughing it off. Oh dear, I really am my own worst enemy.

Anyway, despite the hiccup, the rest of the date went well. We shared a few more laughs and lost track of time. As he rushed off to a study group and we parted ways, I couldn’t help but think that despite one verbal fumble, this might have actually been my first date that went alright.

Lucky Dip is the longest running segment in CANTA. Each issue, we set two people up on a blind date and they record their experiences. These anecdotes are as they come; unedited.

Dipper two

Fuuuuuuck yes finally! I had been applying to do lucky dip for ages, I was so pumped for it. So just my luck that I end up being really late for the date.

As I run towards Otto and through the doors, I notice a small woman hunched over a table alone and assumed it was her. After apologising for being so late, I gave her a friendly but awkward ‘nice-to-meet-you’ hug. She was small in stature, but big in... attractiveness? Sorry I’m trying to make that sound poetic.

I apologised again for being really late, but she seemed surprisingly chill about it. Turns out she’s just surprisingly chill, like she’s in an eternal state of chill. I asked her heaps of questions to get to know her, and was confronted with a lot of short, one sentence answers. However, there were a lot of smiles and giggles so I was quite confused. Honestly, it was like I was on a date with that Debby Ryan meme.

I kinda felt like I was doing a lot of the heavy lifting for this date. It paid off occasionally as I discovered we actually had

a lot of similar interests. It’s just that the conversation wasn’t stimulating... at all.

It was at this point I decided we needed our food, now. Because I had run out of things to say, and eating was a convenient excuse to not talk. While eating, we got on to the topic of life after University, which to her credit was actually a conversation topic she initiated. I mentioned moving to Australia for a job and she replied “I’ve never done long distance before” followed by the trademark giggle. Huh?!?!

I wasn’t even sure she wanted to be on this date, but now does she thinks we’re in a relationship? Fuck this was one whirlwind, confusing date. Determined not to end the date on that very weird note, I pushed through with a bit more conversation and then made some excuse up to leave.

I’m sorry, [REDACTED], you seemed nice but I just don’t think I was feeling it.

I want to open up an ice cream parlour and call myself Scoop Dogg

UNHAPPY
SEND COMPLAINTS TO LETTERS@CANTA.CO.NZ
WITH SOMETHING IN THIS EDITION OF CANTA?

HORODOPES

ARIES

I was about to tell you to light up a joint, but I don’t need to tell you that, do I? You’re already doin’ it.

TAURUS

This is a sign to splash out and buy those blueberry blunt wraps you’ve been eyeing up. Spice it up a bit.

GEMINI

Your aesthetic would really benefit from you smoking ganja out of a massive, flashy pipe.

CANCER

If you see a bottle and think, ‘wow, that would make a great bong’, that’s because you would be great at making it into a bong!

LIBRA

Put down that beug, get off your ass, and move!

LEO

Just smoke a good indica and chill, dude.

SCORPIO

There is a reason people like to smoke with you. Because of those god-like lungs! You are ripping the goddamn fattest cones, and you should be proud.

VIRGO

Usually, it’s ‘puff, puff, pass. But for you, it’s just ‘pass’.

SAGITTARIUS

There is no one – no one – who will get the group as high as you can. You are the master of the toke, the hottest in the box. The responsibility to get them super baked is on you.

CAPRICORN

Maybe just chill a little bit, okay? You ain’t Snoop Dogg.

AQUARIUS

I know what you did. Yeah, I do. You secretly love smoking it but voted no in the cannabis referendum, didn’t you? Ugh, you disgust me.

PISCES

When the doobie is burning unevenly, you can always be trusted to fix it. A true hero xo

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