CANTA ISSUE 2, 2021

EDITORIAL

Hello you lovely people.

To those that have been trotting around this campus for a while, I’m sure the attendance has already slipped to around 75 per cent. I personally always learned better when eating a six-pack of chicken nugs and listening to ECHO360. To the babies of the campus. The freshers. I hope you had an overly raucous O-Week and have started to get into the university experience. I will remind you, as you begin your courses in Human Anatomy, we have plenty of condoms outside the CANTA office. Alternatively, for equally effective contraception, move into Bishop Julius.

Well, we’ve made it to our second issue for 2021 without being cancelled... yet. @Stuff.co.nz

I’m super delighted to place in your little mits our Pride Issue. Within the following pages, you will find content with an LGBTQIA+ bend to it. Our feature writers and contributors have been hard at work, and we’ve collated a range of experiences from those across the spectrum.

I tell a couple queer stories and share with you the greatest recipe of all time, Fairy Bread. Do pay attention, it’s an easy one to get wrong.

We’ve timed this issue to come out alongside Christchurch Pride, which lasts from 5 – 15 March. It’s set to be the biggest one yet. It’s been a long time coming for this Garden City; as a young person, I couldn’t recall an ounce of rainbow anywhere. Apart from maybe a certain bar which rhymes with ‘ooze’. But, as Mufasa says, we mustn’t go there.

So, enjoy this issue. The wonderful thing about a university is the diversity it brings; read some stories that might challenge your norm and take a chance to appreciate the experiences of others. Most importantly, engage in Christchurch Pride. Get out there and see what the fabulous folks of Ōtautahi have to offer.

Kia ora, Liam (he/him)

ONLY CANTA.

As some of you may have observed, CANTA made local headlines due to a proposed CANTA OnlyFans account. What started as a mere UCSA Noticeboard post, birthed into a front-page article in The Press. It’s truly incredible what can be considered news.

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for the feedback. From those who likened it to prostitution to those who volunteered to participate, all the feedback we received was much appreciated. I always maintained that any opposition this idea received would be met with reason and a willingness to compromise.

Part of the motivation behind this idea was that we might be able to further the conversation around body-positivity and help put to rest the antiquated notion of slut-shaming. CANTA does support and will always support open conversation around sex, nudity, and any other related topics. Simply because not talking about them has never done anything good.

It should also be acknowledged, some of the motivation behind this idea, successful or not, was simply to gain some attention for CANTA. Which… uhhh… worked.

The mere suggestion of OnlyFans sparked the conversation – from what truly represents body-positivity, to the role of sex work in society, how OnlyFans treats its customers, to the inadequacies of this country’s sex education curriculum. I’ve observed and have been part of many colourful discussions.

For every discussion, there have been many opinions shared. Personally, I’m a little saddened. Having listened to and read several perspectives, I feel there is no compromise regarding a topic as divisive as this. It will always remain polarising. Despite

this fact, the variety of conversation started ultimately means this idea succeeded in some way.

Although the reception has been relatively warm, there are a few points of criticism I would like to address:

1. No, CANTA does not recommend watching hours and hours of porn as a fitting substitute for a conversation about sex.

2. Prostitution is legal in this country, by the way. It’s also not an occupation one should be shamed for having.

3. The start of an OnlyFans account would probably not cause students to replace flat parties with flat orgies.

To clarify, this was solely my idea. No other individuals or organisations were involved in the decision-making process that led to this idea being floated. In particular, no one from UC. (hey, can we have more funding now?)

No OnlyFans account has been established at this stage, nor do we intend to promote audience-submitted content. We will, however, always continue to be a safe space for conversation around sex, nudity, and intimacy – when they need to be had.

Ngā mihi nui, Liam Donnelly (he/him)

P.S. By the end of the year, we hope to have given away over 7000 12-packs of condoms. So, if you ever want some, head over to the CANTA office to find them.

Kia ora,

President ' s piece

Kim Fowler (she/they)

Kia ora koutou!

What a start to the year it’s been! I’m so stoked that that year has got off to a good start (touch wood!).

I’m Kim, your student president this year. I’ve just finished up my chem degree and am loving the job so far! This year, I lead an executive of 13 – together, we represent you on all sorts of boards and committees at UC and governing the UCSA, which delivers services for students. If you’re new here, check out our website – UCSA.org.nz – to find out what we’re about, or come and visit upstairs at Haere-roa, your student building.

A lot has been happening at the UCSA recently, including new food outlets Otto and Oishii and a revamp of the Undercroft Food-court! You can find Otto and Oishii underneath PuakaJames Hight, serving pizza and sushi. In the Food-court there’s now dumplings and Mexican!

Your executive spent the week before lectures began learning all there is to know about the UCSA, and now they’re set up to represent you at uni! Their email addresses are on our website if you ever want to drop them a line about something affecting you.

Our CEO, Dave Hawkey, put in his notice at the end of last year, and over the last few weeks, we’ve been recruiting to find a new CEO. We’ll keep you updated on this process as it progresses, but’s a great chance to thank Dave for his contributions to the UCSA over the last seven years.

It’s been amazing to welcome you all to campus with a massive O-Week. I hope you had a great time and managed at least to snag some free food!

Clubs Day was absolutely epic! Campus was buzzing with all the stalls around the place, and it was lovely to see all of our clubs set up for another year ahead.

None of these wonderful things could happen without our UCSA staff – a small army of people who make this place function, so a big thank you to them for all their work so far this year!

That’s all from me for now!

Any questions, just get in touch – president@ucsa.org.nz

NEWS

HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA AT UC

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

Almost half of LGBTQ+ students have either experienced discrimination at UC or know someone who has.

In an online survey conducted by CANTA, 48 per cent of the 100 students surveyed reported experiencing or witnessing homophobia or transphobia on campus.

22 per cent of respondents said they had personally experienced discrimination because of their identity, with a further 26 per cent reporting that they knew students who had.

Maeve Burns (they/she), president of QCanterbury, a club for queer students and allies, said, “it’s shit” that queer people are still having to deal with discrimination, particularly at a place like university.

“It makes me so fucking angry. I hate it … Uni is a space where people pursue higher thought; there is nothing that can justify it.

“It’s shit, and it’s just infuriating, and it shouldn’t be here,” they said.

About a quarter of respondents also reported having felt physically unsafe at uni because of their queer identity.

Just last year, a student was assaulted outside The Foundry for wearing a pink sweatshirt. He was called “gay” for wearing pink and was punched in the face, suffering a concussion.

Maeve said what happened to that student “comes out of little bubbling hatred.”

They said discrimination wasn’t always “super blatant” but could lead to physical harassment and end with people being assaulted.

Maeve said people needed to start speaking out if they heard others making homophobic or transphobic comments.

“We need people who are able to call their friends out and able

to be like ‘hey, that’s really problematic’ because that’s the kind of stuff that eventually turns quite big.”

“I think most UC students probably aren’t doing anything active or think anything needs to be actively done to help rainbow communities.”

55 per cent of survey respondents thought straight, cis-gender students (people whose gender identity aligned with the sex they were assigned at birth) didn’t have a good understanding of issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community. 31 per cent of respondents were unsure, and only 14 per cent thought they did have a good idea.

Maeve said students needed to start educating themselves on issues affecting LGBTQ+ folk.

Last month, the Government announced it planned to ban conversion therapy by the start of next year at the latest. It followed a 150,000 strong petition, launched by the Green Party, to urgently ban the harmful practice.

And while things were improving for queer people, Maeve said there was still a lot to be done, as evidenced by the survey results.

“Everyone should have their pronouns, regardless of whether they are cis, in their Instagram bios and in their email signoffs. That is really easy.

“It’s a really good way of indicating to queer people that ‘I’ve got you,’ in a really tiny way.”

Another practical way students could show their support was to mention their pronouns when asked to introduce themselves in tutorials, Maeve said.

Pride week kicked off on Friday and runs until Sunday, March 14, with events ranging from quiz nights to pride markets and a whole lot of partying.

NEWS

NEW TENANCY LAWS

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

You can’t get the boot from your flat without reason anymore. New laws came into effect last month in what was the biggest shake-up of tenancy laws in more than three decades.

Parliament passed a raft of changes last year, aimed at improving the lives of renters. A couple of changes were made in August, but most of the big ones have just come into force on 11 February.

I sat through an hour-long webinar and read parts of the Residential Tenancies Amendment Act, so you didn’t have to.

Here’s what I learned:

Goodbye to no cause evictions

Landlords can no longer evict tenants without cause with 90 days’ notice. Instead, landlords will need to provide a reason, meeting specific grounds, in order to end a tenancy.

However, you could still be given the boot if the landlord or a member of their family needs to move into the property, or if the landlord decides to sell the property. In which case, the landlord would need to provide 63 days’ notice or 90 days’ notice, respectively.

Bedazzling

You can now make small changes to the property. Landlords can no longer deny a request for minor alterations, but they are able to set some limitations around what changes can be made. They must respond to written requests within 21 days. Landlords can place some minor limitations around the changes but can’t be unreasonable.

So, if you’re wanting to build a shrine to Harry Styles, you possibly could, as long as it’s small, doesn’t cause damage to the property and can be easily removed. Although, something tells me landlords wouldn’t be overly enthusiastic about that idea. Maybe try sending them a link to Harry’s latest single, ‘Treat People With Kindness’, and see how that goes.

No more rental bidding

All rental properties must be listed with a rental price. Landlords can no longer encourage prospective tenants to outbid each other. They must stick to the rental price advertised but are able to accept more if offered more by renters. Essentially, they can’t instigate rental bidding.

Other changes

All fixed-term tenancy agreements will convert to periodic tenancies unless, for example, the landlord and tenants agree otherwise.

Landlords can no longer stop tenants from getting fibre broadband installed, as long as it’s of no cost to them.

They must also provide renters with a tenancy agreement in writing. If they don’t, they are committing an unlawful act and may be liable for exemplary damages or an infringement fee.

To come...

The final phase of changes, set down for August 11, will see further protections for domestic violence victims. Any tenant experiencing family violence will be able to end a tenancy with two days’ notice if they have evidence of the abuse, without being further impacted financially.

MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR MOSQUE ATTACKS

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

March 15 this year will be two years since a horrific day in Aotearoa’s history.

This month, a national memorial service will be held to mark the second anniversary of the Christchurch terrorist attacks.

The event will take place at Christchurch Arena on March 13 to remember the 51 people killed and 40 others injured in the shootings at the Al Noor and Linwood mosques in 2019. The service will begin at 3pm and will be live-streamed.

By Liam Donnelly (he/him)

NEW PIZZA AND SUSHI RESTAURANTS CLOSE AFTER ‘PUSHI’ DISASTER

Two new restaurants on campus, Oishii and Otto, have already closed their doors due to overwhelming backlash.

The restaurants, which are located next door to each other, collaborated on a new dish called the ‘Pushi’.

The ‘Pushi’ claimed to be “the best of both worlds”, combining Otto’s pizza with Oishii’s sushi.

It reportedly tasted so bad that the uproar over the dish has caused both restaurants to close their doors for good.

“Fusion? More like fucking disgusting,” said a man who kind of looked like Gordon Ramsay.

CANTA ATTEMPT SCENE FROM ‘UP’ WITH CONDOMS

Overwhelmed with tens of thousands of condoms, CANTA has decided the logical use for the rubbers is to recreate a scene from an animated film.

Thanks to the generosity of Durex, CANTA found itself with over 80,000 condoms to distribute.

However, sick of the realities of university, one disgruntled CANTA staff member had a better idea.

The employee inflated 10,000 of the condoms and attached them to the roof of Haereroa, hoping that the building would float away, like the scene in ‘Up’.

The attempt quickly failed, and the employee was arrested on 10,000 counts of wasting a perfectly good opportunity for sex.

ELECTRIC AVE CONVERTING TO COAL

2021 will be the last time Christchurch will host the Electric Avenue festival as we know it after Event Coordinators announced a shift to coal power.

“We are converting to coal because it will give our event a cooler atmosphere,” said the Lead Coordinator.

Some people expressed their disappointment toward the organisers over the decision.

“There is perfectly good petrol that could be used instead. It is so irresponsible that they’ve converted to coal!” said local activist Gerta Bergthurn.

The city will host its first Coal Lane in 2022.

The CDHB Youth Council takes us through some tips and tricks on how to keep ourselves and our partners safe when having sex. On top of the resources mentioned below, CANTA also has plenty of free condoms available, come down to the office in Heare-roa and grab a bunch.

As a lot of us gain freedom and liberation in our adult lives, we feel the need to explore. For many, this happens through sex. Sex is something that should be fun and easy, although for many people, especially our LGBT+ youth, it can be filled with fear. With open and inclusive communication, sex can become something fun and easy again. It can become safer.

In sexual relationships, communication always needs to be upheld. Whether you are in a relationship or met a few hours ago, consent must always be established. Whether it’s a quick “Are you sure?” in the moment or a conversation before heading to the bedroom, an obvious sign of your partner wanting to participate should always be gained before going further. If you or your partner decides during sex that they aren’t feeling okay anymore, that is also fine – consent has not been given. If your partner continues against your wishes, there are resources for you to access, ‘Safe To Talk’ is a 24/7 helpline based in Aotearoa (safetotalk.

nz) and they are non-discriminatory. They will provide you with someone to talk to and further help.

Openly talking about STIs and other sexual risk is also a very important aspect of sexual relationships. According to Family Planning New Zealand, men who have sex with men are most at risk of STIs. Currently, there are many resources to combat this. Firstly, wrapping before you tap is one of the easiest methods. In Aotearoa, free condoms and lube are available from various organizations. ‘NZAF’ (New Zealand AIDS Foundation) can send out boxes of free condoms and lube to you, free of charge. This can be done on their website (endinghiv.org. nz). Condoms can also be used to protect women from STI exposure; they don’t just protect you from pregnancy, so it is so important always to make sure your partner wears one.

If you are worried that you may have contracted an STI after sex, you have various options. For HIV/AIDS, in

the first 72 hours following exposure, you can take Post-Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). To access PEP, you need to get to the emergency department immediately. STI tests can be done two weeks after sex – as 14 days can be a window stage of STI infection, with an early test possibly leaving it undetected. After these two weeks, you can get tested at most health clinics, your GP, the University Health Services, or Sexual Health Services. You can also order STI home tests from NZAF; these are free and can be in discreet packaging. For long-term prevention, Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) is also available and funded in Aotearoa. PrEP is 99 per cent effective in preventing HIV infection when taken daily; it has to be taken before exposure/ sex.

Exploring our sexualities should be safe, and with open conversations and awareness of resources available to us, safety in sex can be assured. Ensure you check your status and know your facts.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

(THE FOUNDRY CLOSED FROM 7 PM)

FRIDAY

Art By Hannah Copeland (she/her) @bobbicompany

Art By Jack Carden (he/him) @jack.carden.art

By Liam Stretch (he/him)

You’ll have seen his face gracing your phone screen many a time, and for those of you who went along to the O-Week Comedy Night, you would have taken him in, in person. James Mustapic is quickly becoming one of New Zealand’s go-to comedians, and rightfully so. Finding fame of The Spinoff’s Repressed Memories, he is now a fully-fledged comedian doing tours and stuff. Liam Stretch got to know what makes him tick.

Firstly, who on Earth are you? Fill us in; who is James Mustapic?

Hello! I’m James Mustapic - I’m a standup comedian and Drew Neemia stan.

Describe your comedy style?

It’s hard to analyse your own style without sounding wanky! But I guess my comedic style is awkward and dry! I also find great enjoyment in using multimedia elements in my shows and making fun of NZ pop culture.

You seem to love a PowerPoint. What draws you to them as a comedy tool?

I really like using PowerPoint/videos in my shows because it’s just so much more engaging! An hour is a long time to watch someone stand and talk on a stage - I’m the type of person that loves texting whilst watching a TV show… So I like bringing PowerPoint in because it’s something to look at when an audience gets bored of staring at me.

When did you realise you were funny?

I still don’t know if I am funny.

As a baby gay, how did comedy help you?

Comedy was really helpful for me to come out of my comfort zone and be myself! I used to be quite shy when I was younger, and I think part of that was growing up gay in a smaller city and going to an all-boys school. I didn’t really feel like I could fully be myself, so it was really great being able to get out there in front of a whole bunch of strangers and talk about being gay!

How does being queer continue to develop your humour?

Being queer in comedy can be really fun because it’s a unique experience and perspective, which a lot of people haven’t experienced themselves! So I really enjoy being able to tell straight crowds about my life and queer culture!

Do you have anything exciting in the works?

My next stand-up comedy show! It’s called Inside James Mustapic, and it’s all about going inside my brain, heart, and all of my other body parts to analyse why I’m so messed up! It’s at the Little Andromeda Theatre on April 9th and 10th, and it’s going to be very good! What’s something that has happened to you that is hilarious but also really concerning?

I once had a colleague at work come up to me, and he was like, “Hey bro, just wanted to say thank you. I used to feel so embarrassed when I’d wear T-shirts because I felt so bad that my arms were not muscular enough. But then I saw you wearing t-shirts and not being embarrassed, and it helped me love myself”.

Tell us about Spinoff’s Repressed Memories. How did this come to be? Was this your big break?

Yeah, it sort of was my big break! I always used to love reminiscing about old NZ TV shows and pop culture because it was such a big part of my childhood! I was so obsessed with the first season of NZ Idol and Sticky TV. Repressed Memories was all about revisiting those shows and making fun of all of the cringe content we watched as kids! I feel like, nowadays, kids all just go on Tiktok and Youtube, but when we were kids, What Now was the only thing we had to watch, so we absolutely frothed it.

Do you like Whittaker’s Hundreds and Thousands chocolate? If so, why? If not, why?

Yea, mate, it’s pretty good. I actually think the Jelly Tip one is the best of the collaborations they’ve done! That gender reveal one they did was absolute shit, though.

Who is your comic icon?

I think I’ve always looked up to Rose Matafeo! She’s so incredible at what she does, and she’s done so well internationally, which is just so impressive!

Rugged Sharks or Skechers?

Gotta be rugged sharks!

By Lily Mirfin (she/her)

When Harry Styles graced the cover of US Vogue wearing a dress, Gen Z girls were shaken. But, of course, Harry Styles was the one to do this. I mean, what other musical sensation would do this? Well, if the world was a bit more open in previous decades, that could have been Elton John or David Bowie. Or even Billy Porter in 2019. The world just needed Styles to come along and throw gender stereotypes in everybody’s face.

I work retail, and over Christmas, we were giving people their clothes in pink bags. Certain middleaged men seemed to kick up a fuss about this. One man even said, “You don’t expect a self-respecting man to carry this bag, do you?” So, I handed him a white bag and said, “enjoy the rest of your day”. But what sort of “self-respecting man” would feel threatened to carry a pink shopping bag in a mall? Was his masculinity really so fragile that it would feel threatened by one single colour? Some men just need to realise that a certain colour associated with femininity is not going to cause any harm. Nor is wearing a skirt or a string of pearls. They’re just clothes, and it’s just a colour.

Actor Billy Porter surprised everyone when he wore a half tuxedo, half gown to the 2019 Academy Awards designed by Christian Siriano. He was inspired by his mother and grandmother, who always dressed stylishly growing up. Porter described to Vogue US how “When you’re black, and you’re gay, one’s masculinity is in question”. But why should a simple piece of fabric stand between what is masculine and what is feminine? Or shoes, for that matter. Porter describes how wearing his costumes, which included enormously tall heels in Kinky Boots, made him “feel the most masculine I’ve ever felt in my life”. Porter summarises how silly it is that we place these

strict gender roles upon clothing when these roles have changed with time.

The clothing that Billy Porter and Harry Styles currently wear threatens fragile masculinity. True masculinity should not be threatened by one string of pearls or a pointed shoe.

Clothing is clothing. If you feel more like yourself in a skirt or in pants, then that should be your decision. If wearing a kilt isn’t particularly ground-breaking, why is a half-tuxedo-half-gown suddenly a shock to the system?

Harry Styles wasn’t the first music artist to wear feminine clothing. But he has a unique fan base. Artists like David Bowie or Elton John weren’t popular at a young age; Harry Styles was. He has grown up and developed with our age demographic. Gen Z is open-minded and seems to be more open to differences and questioning societal norms. Styles jumps on this open-minded approach and wears outfits untypical for one of the biggest men in music today: the lace gloves, the pearls, and the crochet. It makes me excited about how much the traditional lines of masculinity and femininity will be broken down and blended in the next few years.

Harry Styles will continue to break the internet with his outfits until we realise that freaking out over a popular man wearing lace or pearls shouldn’t be ground-breaking. It’s amazing to see such a high flyer wearing these items, but shouldn’t we have progressed past this point already? But clearly, Harry needed to give us a reminder that we still have a way to go.

By Ella Gibson (she/her)

The idea for this piece arose after a conversation with my flatmate. The convo was sparked over why my pronouns were in my Instagram bio. And I think that question is perfectly appropriate if you haven’t, like myself, had to live without the privilege of identifying with your visible sex’s identity. Culturally, our society continues to expand the visibility of the gender non-conforming, genderqueer, and transgender community. But a test that is now of notoriety is on pronouns: what are they, why you should use them and why are they so important? The Pronoun Pilot is your go-to guidebook to clear where the air is misty.

What are pronouns? My pal, the Oxford English Dictionary, states that a pronoun is a word that can function as a noun phrase used by itself and that refers either to the participants in the discourse (e.g. I, you) or to someone or something mentioned elsewhere in the discourse (e.g. she, it, this). In saying that, gender pronouns specifically refer to the people that you are talking about. For instance, in my own Instagram bio, under my name, I have my pronouns listed as she/her. These pronouns allude to my cisgender, which is me identifying my gender with the sex assigned to me at birth.

One thing worth mentioning is the distinction between sex and gender. Your sex is your physical body and biology. For me, that is female. On the contrary, your gender is who are you as a person – that being socially, emotionally, and psychologically. So as a cis-gendered woman, my gender is female, and I identify

as a female. However, not everyone identifies with their assigned sex given to them at birth. When that is the case, the term “transgender” is to be noted. “Transgender” is the term that describes people whose gender is not the same as, or does not sit comfortably with, the sex they were assigned to at birth. Others that do not identify with either of the genders are referred to as non-binary.

Your pronouns are the crux of your identity. It is then paramount to one’s sense of self, belonging, and well-being that we use pronouns correctly. The affirming of your identity is salient. Especially now, when identities that have historically not been acknowledged, accepted or affirmed (referring to the gender non-conforming, genderqueer, and transgender communities), we should be obligated to simple acts of respecting the preferred pronouns of others as well as our own.

Perhaps as a cis-gendered individual, you feel that the act of placing your pronouns in your social media bios may be of little influence. Let me tell you why that is not the case. The benefits are hefty, so let me inform you of a few. 1) It reduces the burden on your trans and non-binary peers to be indebted to always explaining their identity. 2) It informs others that you will not assume their gender. 3) This simple act speaks volumes about the normalisation of queerness. Go on, be the biggest ally to the LGBTQ+ community and jump on the pronoun procession; pop those pronouns in your bio!

Roshanah Masilamani (she/her)

The issue of representation has become increasingly topical in recent years. A dialogue has opened up around who is being represented on the screen and how this is carried out. Throughout television history, the characters being portrayed are typically limited to white, straight, cis individuals. Growing up as a bisexual woman of colour means I’m used to not seeing myself represented on screen, but it still stings when I see yet another show featuring an all-white all-straight cast. As marginalised individuals are given more opportunities to tell their own stories, television is becoming more diverse and inclusive – yet there is still a long to go. In light of CANTA’s Pride issue, I thought it fitting to examine bisexual representation on screen, especially because it highlights the difficulties in depicting queerness authentically.

The 2019 GLAAD “Where We Are on TV” report shows that 488 regular and recurring characters on scripted television were within the LGBTQ+ umbrella, which equates to roughly 10% overall. Of that number, 26 per cent were bisexual. Although that percentage may appear high at first, it becomes less so when considered in relation to the number of bisexuals within the queer community – according to UCLA’s Williams Institute, bisexual individuals make up the majority of the LGB community at 52 per cent.

So why this disparity?

One reason for bisexuality being underrepresented is the difficulty in defining the term. The bisexual umbrella is an encompassing term for individuals with the capacity to be attracted to more than one gender. This can include people who identify as bisexual, pansexual, queer, and more. Consequently, bisexuality becomes a fluid identity that resists set demarcations of expression. Although gay and lesbian representation isn’t great by any standard, it is still better represented as it fits neatly into the binary. You are either attracted to the same sex or the opposite sex. The idea of being attracted to both complicates this binary and is therefore often misunderstood or simply erased.

This brings me to my second point: bisexuality is not only underrepresented but also misrepresented. The way in which bisexuals are portrayed on screen is often harmful, drawing on negative stereotypes that perpetuate bi-erasure and biphobia. This includes treating a character’s bisexuality as a temporary plot device, depicting bisexual characters as promiscuous and untrustworthy, or refusing to label characters who engage in sexual and/or romantic relationships with multiple genders as bisexual. Notably, bisexual representation is skewed towards women – in 2019, bisexual characters on television were made up of 90 women, 36 men, and two non-binary characters. This statistic clearly shows a gender difference within bisexual representation, which is further emphasised through the way in which the character’s sexualities are treated on the show.

For instance, bisexual women on screen are heavily sexualised and often fetishised. They are frequently shown to engage in sexual relationships with other women yet only ever entering into romantic relationships with men. In doing so, female bisexuality becomes objectified under the male gaze. The entire trope of “I kissed a girl, but I’m still straight” is connected to misogynistic ideas of women’s sexuality as a commodity for men. Additionally, female bisexual characters are depicted as overly promiscuous and always up for a threesome.

Bisexual women also fall into the trope of never admitting their sexuality. Instead, they are often portrayed as straight women turned lesbian, or worse, straightlesbian-straight again under the guise of sexual experimentation. A notable example of this is Piper from Orange Is the New Black. Piper avoids identifying as bisexual despite having been in serious romantic and sexual relationships with both men and women throughout the show – at one point, she refers to herself as a “former lesbian”. The flipping between straight and lesbian erases bisexuality as it reinforces the notion that every bisexual individual eventually chooses a side.

Gay male representation on television has come a long way; however, men who openly identify as bisexual remains virtually non-existent. When depicted, bisexual men are often seen as closeted gay men. Glee features an episode where Blaine, an openly gay character, considers the possibility of being bisexual after sharing a drunken kiss with a female character. Kurt, another gay character, dismisses this by saying, “bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change”.

Does representation really matter?

In short, yes. Underrepresentation and misrepresentation have very real consequences for the community affected. The way bisexual individuals are depicted on screen carries implications for how wider society understands bisexuality and contributes to the hesitance that bisexual individuals may feel in coming out to family and friends. Television is still far away from reflecting the reality of the bisexual community, particularly when you consider additional intersectional issues – the majority of bisexual characters are white (59 per cent) – and therefore, we must continue to push the conversation around representation forward. Bisexual individuals are nuanced and varied, and our representation onscreen should reflect that.

Modern media has taken huge strides in representing bisexuality. The trend toward characters who openly identify as bisexual and engage in well-developed relationships with both men and women is hugely gratifying. We have some great bisexual characters to look up to and lust after – my personal favourites include Callie Torres (Grey’s Anatomy), Petra Solano (Jane the Virgin), David Rose (Schitt’s Creek), and any character created by Ryan Murphy. My hope is that this signals a shift toward greater representation for all.

A Bow to the Bows

By Ella Gibson (she/her)

JoJo Siwa rose to fame on the cult classic TV series “Dance Moms” when she was only nine years old. It was her outrageously glittery bows and unflappable enthusiasm that rocketed her to the public’s attention. It was this, alongside being a talented dancer, actress and singer that catapulted her into stardom. I would personally recommend blasting “Boomerang” and “Kid in a Candy Store” by JoJo if you’re feeling spicy to catch her vibe. After dancing with moms, JoJo went on to become a YouTube sensation and extended her presence towards the social media realm. Right now, she has 12.2 million subscribers on YouTube and over 33 million followers on TikTok. As a 17 year old, JoJo has built her brand engulfed in unicorns, glitter, and hair bows. This platform attracts a base of elementary schoolers that all idol the teen. Her influence is massive. Even Time Magazine named JoJo as one of the “Most Influential People of 2020.”

Why is JoJo Siwa making it into the Pride issue of CANTA? Well, she came out. I would be surprised if you hadn’t known about the matter before reading this article, because it was really headlined by most media platforms. On an Instagram Live, late January, JoJo came out as queer to her audience and told everyone about being “just so happy” after informing her fans. She did not specify whether she identified as being lesbian or bisexual, which I think shows great maturity. Our human nature demands organisation in a society of disorder. For JoJo to freely declare queerness

without a category is incredibly admirable. There is a lot of power in admitting to the infinite unknowns of our idiosyncratic identities; JoJo has truely stuck it to the man!

She followed up on TikTok with a lip syncing video to “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga which has typically been known as the LGBTQ+ anthem which went viral. And to complete the hattrick of coming out posts, JoJo took to Twitter saying, “my cousin got me a new shirt,” alongside a picture of her in the shirt that reads “BEST. GAY. COUSIN. EVER.” Siwa took utter advantage of her platform, which has been both celebrated and challenged. As the queen Jojo says in her own song “Boomerang”, JoJo has not “let the haters get in her way.”

The significance of JoJo coming out is huge. No one of her reach, fame or talent has ever come out, as a teen, at the peak of her career. We stan JoJo for coming out as another positive role model in the LGBTQ+ community. JoJo then later announced that she has a girlfriend called Kylie, how flipping cute! It is remarkable to see her crushing those societal and media norms; she demonstrates that being gay is totally normal. Slowly, societal norms will let everyone be entirely who they are without shame. JoJo is another incredible example of someone stepping out of whatever metaphorical box society has packaged her away in and made her own box. Go JoJo, go!

a legacy of progress

By Liam Stretch (he/him)

Sometimes it can be hard to see the progress that our little nation has made on the global stage, yet we can be pretty proud of ourselves when it comes to some of our elected representatives. Long before the existence of Stuff comments tried to shout down the walk towards equity for all, one such trailblazer was leading the charge through the doors of The Beehive.

Georgina Beyers was elected in 1999 as Labour’s candidate for Wairarapa, beating National’s Paul Henry by some 3000 votes. Yes, that is the same Paul Henry.

Upon being elected, she became the world’s first openly transgender member of parliament. Prior to this, she has also been the world’s first openly transgender mayor.

Before entering politics, Beyer was involved in the Wellington gay nightclub scene, initially as a singer and drag-queen, and later as a sex worker. And part of her experiences within these communities gave her a mandate to be take a lead in various legislative changes.

Here is an excerpt from her maiden speech:

“I am the first transsexual in New Zealand to be standing in this House of Parliament. This is a first not only in New Zealand, ladies and gentlemen, but also in the world. This is an historic moment. We need to acknowledge that this country of ours leads the way in so many aspects. We have led the way for women getting the vote. We have led the way in the past, and I hope we will do so again in the future in social policy and certainly in human rights.”

NAT

VERITY

CHANTELLE

AIMEE

Flat Famous

Howdy, y’all, I’m Aimee. I’m almost 21, and I like to crochet, so basically, I’m the grandma of the flat. I also study psych and education! If I’m not studying or hanging out with these gaybos you’ll probably find me spending time with my wonderful girlfriend, Ash. I like to claim I’m vegan but catch me after a couple of drinks chomping on McBites.

I’m Nat, and I study astrophysics and Spanish. I like to think I know things because I’m the president of the Students’ Space Association, but in reality, I just aim to own as much Star Wars Lego as possible. My brain is smooth, and I love playing Roller Derby when I’m not busy being a raging bisexual.

My name’s Aaliyah, and I’ll probably fuck your mum! My catchphrase is “wot g”, and my food pyramid is the McDonald’s menu. I have a crippling attraction to middle-aged white men and Elizabeth Olsen. My degree changes every five minutes, and I made my flatmates write this for me.

Hi, I’m Chantelle, and I’m studying psych and education. When I’m not crying over stats and any other small inconvenience, I like women and my cat. If you’re straight, you’re probably my type.

ust another token straight here to ruin your day, my name’s Verity, and I got blackout drunk twice within the first week of living here. My proudest achievement is my mullet. Live, laugh, love!

Hi, I’m Anne, I’m a frog, and I like warm hugs. By day I live here and study French cuisine, and at night I “hang out” on Manchester Street. Good vibes only.

WHats happening at QCanterbury

by

QCanterbury is all about creating a safe social space for LGBTQIA+ students to come together and feel less alone, from opening their Rainbow Room located on campus to the many events they hold throughout the year (Pride Ball, anyone?). Ella Somers talked to QCanterbury’s Treasurer Cory Morgan about what rainbow students can find through the club and QCanterbury’s plans for 2021.

What is QCanterbury all about?

QCanterbury is a social university club that promotes the health and wellbeing of all LGBTQIA+ students by offering a nondiscriminatory and understanding platform for all rainbow students to connect with one another and feel more included within the university community. With thousands upon thousands of students coming to UC on a daily basis, often things can seem overwhelming and isolating, particularly for first years! QCanterbury integrates all rainbow students from all walks of life and helps people feel less alone.

What can queer and gender diverse UC students find through QCanterbury?

We are an all-inclusive club that provides a safe space for any and all rainbow students (and Allies) to meet in a controlled, warm, and integrating environment. Throughout the year, we put on lots of fun and welcoming events, from our traditional Welcome BBQ to running a couple of Pride Week events and a Pride Ball in the third term. In addition to providing events, QCanterbury has also set up a safe space with the university known as the Rainbow Room, located on campus. The Rainbow Room is accessible to all LGBTQIA+ students and provides information pamphlets, sexual health advice, queer-friendly resources, and above all, a place to chill out and have lunch.

How can students contact you and get involved with QCanterbury?

This year we have had a seriously cool revamp of the club! On top of our standard Facebook page, which posts links to events and updates, we also have an ongoing Instagram account that posts modern updates (IG: @qcanterbury) and our very own website (qcanterbury.wordpress.com)! QCanterbury can be contacted through our email qcanterburyuc@gmail.com or by flicking our Facebook/Instagram page a message where one of our execs will usually reply within an hour or two.

What are some of QCanterbury’s plans for 2021?

QCanterbury has a series of exciting events lined up in the first term alone! We are officially reopening our Rainbow Room on 5 March, hosting a Pride Quiz night on 8 March during Pride Week and an open Mic Night on Thursday 11 March. We plan to set up a regular meeting session at the Rainbow Room for people to come and have lunch and work alongside a lot of Christchurch Pride events (such as Sweat with Pride in August). In the third term, we plan to host a Pride Ball for all LGBTQIA+ students to promote a sense of pride, inclusion and equity.

Do you think the UC campus is LGBTQIA+ friendly? Is there anything you think UC could (or needs to) improve on?

The UC campus does take positive steps towards the LGBTQIA+ community on campus. Things such as the Rainbow lanyards indicating a staff member is queer-friendly and safe to talk to, or through the inclusion of our Rainbow Advisor Ari Nichols, UC helps promote inclusion for the Rainbow Students on campus. There is still a march on equity worldwide that is far from over, but that is not UC specific. Like any part of humanity, we, as rainbow members of the community, just want to be included and have equity, and every little bit is progress!

Ella Somers (she/her)

by Ella Somers (she/her)

It’s a Sin has only been out for a few weeks, and it’s already taken the world by a storm. If you haven’t watched this TV series yet, you probably know at least one person that already has, and there’s a 99 per cent chance they cried multiple times while watching it. I’ve yet to see a review or an opinion of it that isn’t a) ravingly positive and b) accompanied by a comment that goes along the lines of “you’ll need a box of tissues beside you the whole time”.

Although It’s a Sin has a strong and vibrant cast, the series is mainly focused on telling Ritchie, Roscoe, and Colin, three young gay men who all leave home under different circumstances at the age of eighteen in 1981 to pursue their dreams in London. Ritchie, Roscoe, and Colin’s lives become intertwined when they arrive in London, along with the strong supporting cast of characters Jill, Ash, and Gloria. Set against the backdrop of the HIV/AIDS crisis in the UK and spanning a decade, the series follows Ritchie, Roscoe, and Colin as they make their way in the world while trying to deal with what the HIV/AIDS epidemic brings with it.

The series is, frankly, gut-wrenching to watch. It sheds light on a terrifying and traumatic time for the queer community that people like to think was a very long time ago when it wasn’t, and it’s a reminder to society that the HIV/AIDS crisis didn’t happen a hundred years ago. That along with the glitz, glamour, interesting fashion choices, and defining moments of the 1980s and 1990s, the HIV/AIDS epidemic meant that thousands of people were dying lonely, painful deaths, often without support

because of the confusion, miseducation, and homophobia surrounding the disease. It’s a good reminder for viewers of how so many people in government and in power decided to look the other way and let people die.

Although It’s a Sin is full of tragedy, I loved how it was also filled with glamourous escapism, joyful self-discovery, and triumph in both massive and minuscule ways. The whole series is only five episodes long but by the end of the last episode, the journey the series has covered is immense for both the characters and viewers.

What’s so interesting about the show is how it’s hitting a wide variety of hearts – from Boomers straight through to Gen Z. It’s reaching millions of viewers worldwide, especially in the UK and has been credited to be the reason behind why HIV testing has seen a sudden rise. Even though it’s only March, I know It’s a Sin is going to be one of the best things that I’ve watched this year and definitely the most memorable. And yes, I also bawled my eyes out at multiple points while watching it. I know you will, too.

It’s a Sin is available to stream for free on TVNZ on Demand.

Get lucky with Metro

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By Lily Mirfin (she/her)

This movie is a criminally underrated, queer cinematic classic that is often overlooked. It’s camp, fun, and simultaneously stylistic. But I’m a Cheerleader follows one teenage girl, Megan, portrayed by the Orange Is the New Black actress Natasha Lyonne as she is forcibly sent to a Conversion Therapy Programme. Naturally, one of the conversion therapists is played by RuPaul Charles (yes, Miss Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent herself) – pretending to be the straightest man alive. If that’s not enough to get you to watch this movie, then I don’t know what is.

This movie’s colour palette focuses on bright shades of pink and blue, clearly gendering the characters’ costumes and surroundings. This gives a John Waters style and camp tone to the movie. It’s making fun of gender stereotypes whilst making fun of itself. The imagery from this movie is striking and plays into the absurdity of the production. The lessons taught at the conversion therapy centre, True Directions, are equally ridiculous: car repair for the boys and household cleaning for the girls. Then there is a truly absurd scene where the teachers are attempting to show what they think a healthy heterosexual relationship looks like. There are no words to describe the intentional awkwardness of this scene. It’s really something else. The Adam and Eve style outfits are the true cherry on top.

Conversion therapy has been all over our newsfeeds and Instagram stories lately. In 1999, conversion therapy was still widespread and generally accepted by lawmakers. The dangers of conversion therapy have only recently become part of wider public consciousness. But I’m a Cheerleader brought attention to these harmful practices. As well as highlighting the absurdity of conversion therapy, But I’m a Cheerleader also delivered heteronormativity into my knowledge. Heteronormativity is the widespread belief that being straight is the default or typical sexual orientation. At the beginning of the film, the protagonist, Megan, is given an intervention from her family

and friends for her seemingly abnormal behaviour. She only has pictures of women in her locker and doesn’t enjoy intimacy with her boyfriend. But she’s never put much thought into her own sexual orientation. Megan assumed that she was the apparent default of straight, like all of her friends.

The movie was released in 1999, which wasn’t all that long ago but was an entirely different era for LGBTQIA+ representation on-screen. It was only two years earlier, in 1997, that Ellen DeGeneres came out on her sitcom. Which was promptly cancelled, and DeGeneres was unable to find secure work in Hollywood until production of her talk show began in 2003. Even Laura Dern, who co-starred on Ellen’s coming out episode, struggled to find work in the years that followed. It’s difficult to comprehend that there was discrimination and an immense lack of representation of LGBTQIA+ individuals to such an enormous degree in a time period not far removed from our own.

The representation of queer individuals and queer characters has increased significantly since the late 1990s. RuPaul is now a cultural mainstay and has just graced our little country’s shores, filming Drag Race Down Under. His success, and the on-screen success of other LGBTQIA+ actors, exemplifies how, as a society, we have moved forward. We still have a fair way to go before there is equal representation, but I think we all owe this screen gem a round of applause for going where no other movie had gone before.

I’d been following Jack on TikTok before I realised that his room looked very familiar for some reason. It was College House. Little did I know that the wildly popular artist with over 400K followers on TikTok and 59K followers on Instagram was, at that point, a fresher living in College House. It blew my little Christchurch mind away that one of our fellow students is achieving in an area that the university often overlooks.

By Lily Mirfin (she/her)

The Fine Arts kids at UC are a small minority at UC where it sometimes feels like every other student is studying Engineering. Studying an arts-based degree at UC was never a possibility I considered; I always assumed any arts kids go to Wellington or Auckland. But not to UC. So, when I started here and discovered that this was all in my head, I was pleasantly surprised. We have so many creatives at UC who are producing high-quality work. Jack is a great example of this accomplished force at UC.

I spoke to Jack over Zoom two weeks before classes started back and had a good chat about how he grew this following.

Lily: Hi, Jack! Thanks for agreeing to speak with me today.

Jack: No worries.

Lily: What made you decide to come to UC?

Jack: I’m from Auckland originally, and I was tempted to go to Wellington. I was also tempted to go to Elam at the University of Auckland. But I decided after visiting UC and seeing College House specifically that it was a good choice. The art school and environment seemed inspiring in in comparison to others which were just in a city with big, tall buildings. I’ve always had a fascination for architecture, and that was why UC was inspiring. I really just wanted to go somewhere new and inspiring, where I would meet new people.

Lily: What made you start creating TikToks?

Jack: I always tried to make it on YouTube as a kid; the most I ever got was 1000 views. I started making TikToks at the start of lockdown, and my first video got half a million views. After lockdown, once I was back at College House, I tried to get another video to blow up. Eventually, I posted some of my art and the architecture video of UC, which was well received. So, it’s only been an art TikTok account for a few months.

Lily: Any words of wisdom for students who have creative ambitions?

Jack: To be constantly working. I’m pretty much always creating art or content in my spare time. If you want to get your stuff out there, TikTok is a super powerful tool. In New Zealand, there’s not a huge amount of competition if you’re creative, so it’s definitely worth doing.

Lily: Where do you see TikTok taking you?

Jack: It’s my goal to have a gallery show in New York City, so hopefully, it helps me get closer to that.

Congratulations to Jack for capitalising on this rapidly growing platform. Jack regularly sells his artwork and recently started incorporating some of his art into a clothing line. Check out his social media for more details or to get more information about purchasing his work.

Instagram @jack.carden.art

TikTok @pamiathat

By Neueli Mauafu (he/him)

Elizabeth “Lizzie” Koroivulaono is your typical Pacific Islander living in New Zealand. Her migration story began in the beautiful islands of Matuku Lau in Fiji. Growing up in a tropical place like Fiji, Lizzie lived a simple life that revolved heavily around her cultural and religious values that she upheld whilst in Matuku. The year 2008 came as a major change in Lizzie’s life as she moved over to Auckland for tertiary studies. Within most of the time frame of 2008, she began to face internal battles with herself as she realised she was attracted to women.

Things are not always sunshine and rainbows when you have such feelings, especially if you grew up in the islands. A lot of inner conflicts develop from the pressures of coming out as a gay individual due to cultural and religious values. It is not because it is abolished, but more of it not aligning with what the church and culture preach about. For Elizabeth’s case, she was fortunate enough to be open about it with one of her good friends at university. They drew up a list of why this was who she really was. After six months of tossing and turning about it, she then came to accept herself.

Self-acceptance, however, was only just the start of her conflicts. The reveal to her family back home rattled her for a bit as she did not know what to expect on how they would accept this new information. Lizzie explains how understanding her sisters and mother were as they brushed aside cultural barriers and loved her for being honest and open. Her biggest fear was letting her dad know about all of this, as he is the family’s patriarch. As she uttered out her confession, he dropped everything else and comforted her in his arms.

“Are you happy, Noqu lewa (my girl)”? was the only question

he asked. To him, he was more focused on his daughter being happy, regardless of whoever she dates or loves.

I am reminded of the lyrics of the late Hawaiian singer Bruddah Iz when I think of Lizzie’s story.

“Somewhere, over the rainbow Bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dream of Dreams really do come true”

Lizzie’s story is only just the tip of the iceberg of many other Pride Pasefika stories. Many young individuals tend to inherit internal battles regarding their sexuality. Why waste your time visualising the worst-case scenario when there is a dream to come true on the other side of the rainbow. Be proud of yourself and the person you are. Struggles and fights will soon cease as there greater days ahead.

As we celebrate CANTA’s Pride edition, always remember to be proud of who you are today. Nobody has the right to judge or even tell you who you should be. As Bruddah Iz sang, “somewhere over the rainbow, dreams really do come true”.

Five under $5

Because eating cheap is fundamental

1. UNDERCROFT FOODCOURT| THREE DUMPLINGS FOR $4

- Available in the Undercroft Foodcourt, this is the perfect little snack.

- Flavours: Chinese chicken, Pork and ginger (the best), and Thai vegetarian dumplings.

- Only $4.

- Feeling rich? Get 11 dumplings for $10 with two sauces. You won’t regret it.

3. OISHII SUSHI| $1 CHICKEN TERIYAKI

- Oishii is kinda like St. Pierres, but if he was actually a saint.

- Don’t be misled by the $1.10 price tag on the chicken teriyaki rolls.

- Swipe your VPlate and get these little treasures down to a dollar apiece.

2. OTTO | MARGARITA PIZZA SLICE $4

- You can’t beat pizza. Especially when it’s covered in hot sauce.

- Swipe your VPlate, grab a $4 slice of margarita and top it with what is probably the largest range of hot sauces you’ll ever see.

4. THE FOUNDRY | TORTILLA CHIPS AND DIP $5

- We mostly like this dish because there are beer towers at the Foundry, and everything goes well with drinks.

5. OTTO | CURLY FRIES $10

- Okay, this one is more than $5, but it’s worth it.

- The portion is huge, and it’s easy enough to share with a mate or two. Or just eat them yourself… you do you.

- Remember, it is scientifically proven that curly fries are tastier.

Art By Hannah Copeland (She/Her) @bobbicompany

WANT TO SHOW OFF YOUR ART? SUBMIT YOUR ART ON OUR WEBSITE!

FRIDAY 5TH MARCH

Air Force Museum’s Peter Rule Exhibition

Darfield Library, 1 South Tce, Darfield, 9am-5pm

Darfield Library proudly hosts this exhibition showcasing Squadron Leader Peter Rule, a distinguished RNZAF pilot, who was pressured to leave the Air Force because he was gay. Learn Peter’s story and all those who also suffered discrimination in the past on the grounds of their sexual orientation. The exhibition screens from the 5th - 11th March.

Free event | All ages

Official Christchurch Pride Opening Bridge of Remembrance, Cashel Mall, 1:30pm-4pm

Friends and whanau are invited to join Chch Pride as we officially open the week with a super exciting installation never before seen in Otautahi. The Christchurch City Council, Christchurch Foundation and ChristchurchNZ are making the city the most colourful its ever been! Meet at the Bridge of Remembrance at 1.30pm as we make our way to an official ribbon cutting with an extra fabulous surprise for all the community, not to be missed!!!

Free event | All ages

Rainbow String Art Rolleston Library, 94 Rolleston Drive, 3:30pm-4:30pm

To celebrate Pride Week Rolleston library are proud to invite you and the whanau to their Discovery Time to make some fabulous colourful string art!

Fun for all the family, and free!

Free event | All ages

FriGay Drinks on The Terrace

The Terrace, Oxford Tce, 4:30pm - late Christchurch LGBT Social Events & Christchurch Pride are super excited to bring you the biggest FriGay Drinks ever to celebrate the opening of Chch Pride Week 2021! Enjoy drag and creative performances along The Terrace throughout the night. This not to be missed event will pack The Terrace with colour so bring your rainbows, sequins, glitter, feathers and wigs and let’s show Ōtautahi just how fabulous life can be!!!!

Free event | All ages | R18 to enter venues

Ray Shipley’s Late Night Poetry Hour

Little Andromeda, Level 1/134 Oxford Tce, 9pm Ray Shipley celebrates poetry, pride, and staying up after bedtime! Featuring a line up of Ōtautahi’s best queer poets, as well as an open mic of poets from the audience.

Koha | R18

SATURDAY 6TH MARCH

DOC Nature Walk

Quail Island, meet at Lyttelton Wharf, 10am

The Department of Conservation Ōtautahi Rainbow Network host an informative days walk around Ōtamahua/Quail Island. All are welcome to enjoy plenty of downtime to relax and swim while catching up with our rainbow whānau and taking pride in our (bio)diversity! Bring a picnic lunch!

The day will be weather dependant.

Return Ferry fare $30 Adult/$15 Child | All ages

Attending Holi Festival

Hagley Park, 11am

Sandeep invites you to join him at Holi - the Indian festival of colour. Wear white clothing and be prepared to celebrate all the colours of our rainbow with pride! This is a welcoming and inclusive space to come together as one and celebrate the diversity of culture and the many different people who call Ōtautahi Christchurch home. This is an alcohol and drug free event.

Small charge for colours | All ages

Diversity Picnic

Rolleston Community Centre, 94 Rolleston Drive, 1pm

Selwyn Libraries are proud to celebrate Pride Week with a Diversity Picnic! Pack a picnic and head down to the Rolleston Community Centre for an afternoon of socialising and fun for all the whanau, celebrating the diversity and individuality of our community.

Free event | All ages

Queens Telling Stories

Tūranga Library, TSB Room, 1pm

It’s Pride Week at Christchurch City Libraries, and Tūranga Library are celebrating with stories of diversity and love! Come along and hear these stories read aloud by 2 of our favourite Queens the Divine Joanne Neilson and Little Miss Cinnamon.... because reading is what? - FUNdamental!!!

Free event | All ages

Community Law Canterbury Info Session

Tūranga Library, TSB Room, 3pm

Come join Community Law Canterbury and Christchurch City Libraries for a session on your rights, and information on the legal processes involved in changing your name and gender on your identification documents.

Free event | All ages

Qtopia Pride Ball

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna o Waiwhetū, 7pm

Celebrate your school formal the way you always wanted - all ages, all inclusive, wear what you feel most you in, bring the date you want, and celebrate with other beautiful rainbow folk at Qtopia’s first Pride Ball!

Incredible DJs, delicious food, and some spectacular entertainment! To be accessible to all, tickets are pay what you can! All proceeds will support Qtopia and their vital mahi in building a kinder world.

Koha $10 student/unwaged, $25 waged | All ages

Les Femmes

The Piano, 156 Armagh St, 8pm-10pm

Cabaret drag sensation, Les Femmes, present their self-titled show packed full of bangers from your favourite girl groups. With a 7 piece band, the gals will huff, puff and blow you away with hits from The Supremes to The Spice Girls. A guaranteed side-splitting night of hilarity, sensational harmonies, tunes and legs for days! Don’t go chasing waterfalls, slam your body down and say you’ll be there!

Tickets $30-$35 | All ages

Menfriends Blackout Mask Party

Menfriends 427 Tuam St, 8pm - late Menfriends are proud to present the Annual Pride Mask Party for men into men. We provide everything you need for this Dress Coded Adult event! Mask & Jocks (or Nude) - no exceptions! Or BYO! There’s a prize for the most original Mask and other hourly Lucky Locker Draws. Add some mystery to your Pride with a Mask!

Cost $30 | R18

Leather & Lace

A Rolling Stone, 579 Colombo St, 9pm

Express Magazine are wet with anticipation to host Chch’s first ever ‘Leather & Lace’ party! Leave your vanilla ice cream in the freezer, this is bound to be a night of dark saucy excitement. Feel free to dress up or down in your favourite leathers and lace as the amazing DJ Gregor plays throughout the night. There will also be an extra hot performance from AKA Damian working a pole like never seen before.

Tickets $25 presale / $30 doorsale | R18

SUNDAY 7TH MARCH

Latte Walkers: Diamond Harbour

Diamond Harbour meet at Lyttelton Wharf, 9am

The Latte Walkers invite you to walk Diamond Harbour. This is a hilly walk but all welcome! Food venues are limited at this destination, so bring a packed lunch. Meet on the Lyttelton wharf at the Diamond Harbour Ferry for a prompt departure at 9:50am and enjoy the 15 minute ferry ride. Ferry fare $13.40 return | All ages

Bears Car Rally

South City Car Park, 555 Colombo St, 10am

Bears Christchurch are proud to host a car rally like no other! Get a group together in a car and join us in an Amazing Race style rally across Christchurch. Who knew there was so much fun to be had in a car?! Make sure to bring a picnic to enjoy at the finish line.

Cost $20 per car | All ages

Maison de Crepe’s Drag Brunch

Maison de Crepe, 106 Papanui Rd, 11:30am

Join our fabulous Drag Queens for a sumptuous Parisian-themed brunch! Since we can’t travel to the fabulousness that is Paris, help us turn Maison de Crepe’s new Merivale location into “Gay Paris”! Come and enjoy delicious, soft French crepes, crispy waffles, incredible omelettes and wash it all down with bubbles, mimosas or French Champagne!

Tickets $39.50pp | R18

Ultimate Pride

Hagley Park, 2pm Come on down to Hagley Park and join Qtopia and Canterbury Ultimate for a day of ultimate frisbee! Open to all and family friendly, just bring yourself and a water bottle to keep yourself hydrated for an afternoon of fun!

Free event | All ages

Queer Film Festival:

‘The Miseducation of Cameron Post’ Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna o Waiwhetū, 2pm

Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini film festival. This Sundance award winning drama follows teenage Cameron sent to God’s Promise, a remote treatment centre. While subjected to questionable gay conversion therapies, she bonds with fellow residents who pretend to go along with the process while waiting to be released.’

Free event | Mature audiences

Oasis Lite Pride Service

St Albans Uniting Church, 36 Nancy Ave, 5pm

Faith based service celebrating Pride, spirituality and community. Followed by a light supper. All welcome. Oasis Lite is an outreach of the Metropolitan Community Churches, the worlds largest inclusive Christian community.

Free event | All ages

‘Rūrangi’ Special Pride Screening

Alice Cinemas, cnr Tuam & High St, 6:15pm

Christchurch Pride is very proud to bring you a special screening of this beautiful and groundbreaking NZ transgender drama. Starring, produced and written by NZ’s gender diverse community, this movie follows transgender activist Caz as he returns to his small town home to reconcile with his past as his authentic self. This is a must see movie and a momentous victory for trans representation.

Tickets $12 - $17 | Mature audiences

Queer Film Festival: ‘Moonlight’

Alice Cinemas, cnr Tuam & High St, 8pm

Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini film festival. Best picture award winning drama that follows three stages in the life of a young black man: his childhood, adolescence, and early adult life. It explores the difficulties he faces with his sexuality and identity, including the physical and emotional abuse he endures growing up.

Free event | Mature audiences

MONDAY 8TH MARCH

Queer Kōrero with your Green

The WEA Canterbury, 59 Gloucester

The Greens are proud to be part of but there’s still more work to do to takatāpui people. Come for a cup Dr Elizabeth Kerekere and share your all better use parliament to affect progress the rights, health and wellbeing Free event | All ages

Coming Out For Coffee Exchange Christchurch, 376 Wilsons Coming Out For Coffee is a friendly second Friday to have a coffee and Free event | All ages Q-Quiz

Haere-roa, University of Canterbury, Brush up your knowledge on all things the brain a scrub-a-dub-a-dub. QCanterbury The Q-Quiz. There’s plenty of prizes while we scratch our heads tryna Rowlings allowed, it is a safe space! $5 per person | R17

Queer Film Festival: ‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch festival. The brilliantly innovative, landmark musical follows gender-queer Berlin who tours the U.S. with her the former lover/band-mate who Free event | All ages

TUESDAY 9TH MARCH

Queer Film Festival: ‘Entertaining

Lumière Cinemas, 26 Rolleston Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch film festival. A 1970 British black nymphomania and sadism are just on a brother and sister who become drifter with a mysterious past. Free event | Mature audiences

Community Law Canterbury

Tūranga Library, Activity Room, Come join Community Law Canterbury session on your rights, and information changing your name and gender Free event | All ages Puzzled Pint The Bealey, 263 Bealey Ave, 6pm Puzzled Pint is a casual, social puzzle-solving which happens at bars on the second cities around the world. It’s free, non puzzle solvers. Gold coin donation | R18

WEDNESDAY 10TH

Qtopia Pride Market

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna Support local LGBTQIA+ creators Qtopia Pride Market! Join us at the Queer Film Festival and Dr Sketchy’s) goods - art, craft, food, clothes and Free event | All ages

Dr. Sketchy’s: Vitamin D Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna Dr. Sketchy’s is a life drawing class a side of burlesque! Set in the stunning The sun might be setting on summer, D with the multi talented dancer 6:30pm, all artistic abilities welcome, Free event | Mature audiences

Queer Film Festival: ‘Leitis

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch film festival. This is the story of Joey intrepid group of transgender women fundamentalism and intolerance Free event | Mature audiences

For all full event details, tickets and covid updates please check out the events

events on Facebook ‘Christchurch Pride’ or our website www.chchpride.co.nz

MARCH

Green MPs

Gloucester St, 5:30pm-7pm of the most queer parliament in the world, to represent the voices of queer and of tea and kōrero with MPs Jan Logie and your experiences and talk about how we can change and champion rainbow issues to wellbeing of our rainbow communities.

Wilsons Rd, 7pm friendly group of people who get together every and a chat.

Canterbury, Ilam Rd, 7pm things Queer and give those rusty bits of QCanterbury brings you a keeper for ages: prizes to be won and loads of laughs to be had remember Troye’s first single, yikes! No JK space!

Inch’

Puna o Waiwhetū, 7:30pm

Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini film heart- breaking, and wickedly funny gender-queer punk-rock singer Hedwig from East her band as she tells her life story and follows stole her songs.

MARCH

‘Entertaining Mr Sloane’

Rolleston Ave, 4pm

Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini comedy of murder, homosexuality, just some of the themes in this story focusing become involved with a young, sexy, amoral

Canterbury Info Session

Hapori floor, 4pm Canterbury and Christchurch City Libraries for a information on the legal processes involved in on your identification documents.

6pm puzzle-solving event (words, logic, numbers...) second Tuesday of every month in multiple non competitive and designed for new

TH MARCH

Puna o Waiwhetū, 6pm and makers this Christchurch Pride at the the Christchurch Art Gallery (alongside the Sketchy’s) and peruse some quality, handmade and more!

Puna o Waiwhetū, 6pm

class like no other - drinking and drawing with stunning foyer of the Christchurch Art Gallery. summer, but we’ll celebrate good ol’ Vitamin and performer, AKA Damian! First pose at welcome, drawing materials supplied.

‘Leitis in Waiting’

Puna o Waiwhetū, 6:30pm

Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini Joey Mataele and the Tonga Leitis, an women fighting a rising tide of religious in the South Pacific Kingdom.

Pride Bingo

The Cashmere Club, 88 Hunter Tce, Cashmere, 7pm

Christchurch Pride is excited to host the ever popular sell out event Pride Bingo. Come join your favourite aunties Meryl Vale, Aunty Pipi & Shirley St Albans along with some special guests as they drop their bingo balls for a naughty night of risque hilarity and fabulous prizes up for grabs! Balls drop at 7:30pm, snacks and drinks available throughout the night. The best Bingo with the prettiest gal’s, run for over 10 years now, this is the most unprofessionally professional Bingo you’ll ever play!

$15 book of 10 games | Mature audiences

Vogue Class

The Compound, 37 Welles St, 7pm Stunning vogue dancer Ashira will be teaching this introduction class for absolutely anyone on the fundamentals and foundations of the art of Vogue along with a choreography session.

$10 cash | All ages

Queer Film Festival: ‘Knife+Heart’

Christchurch Art Gallery Te Puna o Waiwhetū, 8pm Canterbury Film Society & Christchurch Heroes present a six-film mini film festival. A 2018 French horror-thriller featuring 1079. Giallo. Dildo Daggers. Cruising. Neon. Leather. Slasher. Voyeurism. Vanessa Paradis. Dark. Humour. Strap yourself in for a wild ride through a netherworld of sex and sin.

Free event | R18

No Lights No Lycra

No Lights No Lycra, 442 Tuam St, 8pm

No Lights No Lycra is an hour of dancing in the dark. An hour to dance on your own and purely for yourself. Where you are completely free to switch off from everything. When the lights are out you are free to be yourself without worrying about the outside world.

$5 newbies, $7 unwaged, $10 waged | Mature audiences

THURSDAY 11TH MARCH

Drag Queen Storytime

Lincoln Library, 18 Gerald St Lincoln, 10:30am

Selwyn Libraries celebrates Pride Week with Lincoln’s very own drag queen Lady Bubbles! Join us for this special storytime featuring books about diversity, acceptance, inclusion and kindness.

Free event | All ages

Brannigans Cocktail & Speaker Evening

Venue TBC, 5:30pm. Contact: contact.chchpride@gmail.com for details

Brannigans are excited to be hosting a panel discussion as part of Chch Pride 2021, featuring a panel of LGBTQIA+ business leaders focussing on their observations and experiences as business leaders and how this has evolved throughout the years, as well as how their perspective has had an impact on how they do business.

Free event | R18

Vege Puffs Rainbow Dinner

Welcome Chinese Vegetarian Cafe, 2 Wharenui Rd, 6pm

Veggie Puffs Vegetarian group invite you to a Rainbow Dinner. No need to be vegetarian to attend, we just ask out of respect for the group only vegetarian food is ordered. Come meet with other vegetarians and vegans from the rainbow community. Just pay for what you eat and drink.

Pay as you go | All ages | Bookings essential

RSVP: rosoryl@gmail.com or Ph: 021 0225 3650

Authentic Dating for Men Who Love Men

Maison de Crepe, 106 Papanui Rd, 7:15pm

Tired of the Grind? Authentic Dating is a spicy night for gay/bi/queer/trans men to explore the possibilities of connection with one another. These dates make space for honesty and delight with an experienced facilitator training and encouraging you to listen and speak from the heart, allowing you to connect deeply and quickly.

Tickets $30 unwaged, $40 waged | Ages 21 and over

Severley Queer - Time for Tea

Little Andromeda, Level 1/134 Oxford Tce, 7pm

Blackboard Theatre Collective cordially invite you to enjoy some piping hot tea! Get ready for fierce performers, salacious gossip, killer vocals, and ridiculous hilarity, all set in the lavish and decadently opulent world of Viscounts, Ladies In Waiting, Dukes and the campery of the royal court.

Additional shows:

Friday 12th March 7pm / Saturday 13th March 7pm & 8:30pm

Tickets $25 | Mature audiences

Pride in the Hot Pools

He Puna Taimoana, 195 Marine Parade, 8pm

He Puna Taimoana (New Brighton Hot Pools) invite you to a special late night private pride event. A fun night with a DJ on site to play some fab tunes and some fun games and giveaways for best bathing costumes... there may even be a runway to sashay down with some saucy judges!

Tickets $19 | All ages

Nouvelle

The Gym, Arts Centre, 8pm

The latest cabaret-cirque offering a vibrant experience of the roaring 20’s Hollywood glamour and thrill of live circus with the hedonistic seduction of Paris’ Moulin Rouge. Featuring NZ’s only aerial chandelier with the finest cabaret and local cirque talent, an exhilarating evening of world class vocals, high-camp drag, jaw-dropping pole and aerial, electrifying dance along with mind blowing quick-change.

Additional shows:

Friday 12th March 7pm & 9pm / Saturday 13th March 7pm & 9pm

Tickets $45-$50 | Mature audiences

Chapter One: Take Two Live Show with Special Guest

Ray Shipley

Little Andromeda, Level 1/134 Oxford Tce, 8:30pm

Chapter One: Take Two is a fortnightly podcast that covers book to film adaptation reviews. In this special Chch Pride episode, we will be covering ‘The Price of Salt’ written by Patricia Highsmith in 1952 and adapted to film in 2015 under the title ‘Carol’ starring Cate Blanchett.

Tickets $10-$15 | All ages

FRIDAY 12TH MARCH

QCanterbury Open Mic Night

Bentleys Bar, UCSA, University of Canterbury, Ilam Rd, 6pm

QCanterbury presents an intimate atmospheric night with an open mic - meaning poetry, short stories, singing, guitar, comedy, and more! (use your imagination).

Free event | All ages

Rainbow Karaoke

The Good Home Ferrymead, 2a Waterman Place, 7pm

Drag It Out proudly presents Rainbow Karaoke. Come sing your heart out like nobodies listening, even if it sounds like your trying to strangle a cat we don’t care! Join the party with your hosts Lady Bubbles and Miss Shaniqwa.

Free event | R18

Authentic Dating for Women Who Love Women

Maison de Crepe, 106 Papanui Rd, 7:15pm

Tired of swiping? Authentic Dating is a spicy night for lesbian/bi/queer/ trans women to explore the possibilities of connection with one another. These dates make space for honesty and delight with an experienced facilitator training and encouraging you to listen and speak from the heart, allowing you to connect deeply and quickly.

Tickets $30 unwaged, $40 waged | Ages 21 and over

Queered Scriptless

The Court Theatre, Bernard St, 10:15pm

Join some of the most fabulous Court Jesters plus special guests from the Christchurch institute that is Scared Scriptless for a night of improvised comedy with a special pride edition of ‘Queered Scriptless’! Last years was hilarious so we can’t wait to wet our pants with laughter all over again!

Tickets $16-$20 | R18

SATURDAY 13TH MARCH

Pride Closing Party: ‘All That Glitters is Gold’ Sixty6 on Peterborough, 9pm-3am

Christchurch Pride is excited to announce this years Closing Party is at the fabulous Sixty6 On Peterborough! We’re not going to let COVID-19 dull our shine with the theme for this year being ‘All that Glitters is Gold!’ so rock out your glitter and gold and let’s make this a golden night of celebration. We’ll have our favourite DJ Gregor opening up for the gorgeous DJ Jordan Eskra from Auckland along with some fabulous Drag performances to make the night even more stunning!

Tickets $25 presale / $30 doorsale | R18

SUNDAY 14TH MARCH

Castle Hill Fun Variety Day

Castle Hill Rocks, 8am

LAMBDA Trampers & Latte Walkers invite you to a fun day at Castle Hill. Enjoy a picnic, walk through the rocks, and for those keen an opportunity for rock climbing and bouldering with an optional walk through cave stream. For more details contact Ian Ph: 022 608 4764 or Bryan on Ph: 022 162 1410. For shared transport, cost is $20pp meeting at the corner of Peacock & Durham Streets no later than 7:55am for a prompt 8am departure.

Optional shared travel $20 | All ages

Pride Picnic with CARN

Victoria Park, off Dyers Pass Rd, 12:30pm

CARN, a Cross Agency Rainbow Network (government department group) invite you and your whanau to spend a lazy afternoon in a nice sunny spot in Victoria Park (weather-allowing).For the members of CARN but open to all, dress loud and proud and bring a picnic and friends for an afternoon of fun activities and good chill times. A free event not to be missed!

Free event | All ages

Doggie Style: Pride Dog Walk

Rollickin Gelato, 98 Cashel St, 6pm

Get your doggie dress up’s on and come strut your stuff with Christchurch Pride & Rollickin Gelato. Everyone’s welcome with fun prizes for best costumes (doggie’s & peeps). Enjoy a 20 minute walk led by our Dog Walking Queen with free dog ‘WOOF WOOF’ Scoop Treat for each fur baby!

Gold coin donation goes towards supporting the SPCA.

Gold coin donation | All ages

Tips to be Less of a Dick on Grindr

Hey Auntie Gayle, I recently signed up for Grindr after my three-year relationship ended. A guy called me out the other day for my “nasty” bio where I said that I was not into fems and that I want clean fun. I consider myself an accepting and friendly person and did not think anything of it when I wrote it. I just thought this was a normal thing to do on Grindr as so many people write these sorts of things in their bios. Am I a bad person? – Glen*

Glen, you’re not a nasty person. People know who they want to fuck and think getting right to the point is the best strategy to get the goods they want. The gay world can be a cruel mistress sometimes. But it shouldn’t be.

One time I saw a profile that said, “You are handsome. You are charming. You are worthy. If I don’t reply, then that’s my loss, not yours”. Now that is HOT! Needless to say, that boy fucked your Auntie left, right, up, and down that night.

As the opinionated camp-mother that I am, I’ve pulled together my hot tips on how to not look like a dick on Grindr:

1. Say what experience you want, not who you want

It’s 2020, gays. There’s nothing hot about a transphobic, femmephobic, racist, body-shaming bigot. So, open up Grindr right now and delete the part of your profile that says “masc only, no fems”. I’ll wait here.

We suffer enough bigotry from outside the community; we do not need to be inflicting it on each other.

I guarantee that if your profile says what experience you’re looking for (i.e. “Looking for someone to throw me around and treat me like the dirty little pig that I am”) rather than who you don’t want to slide into your DMs, then you’ll get more of the throwing around part AND you won’t make entire communities of people (many of whom would do a great job throwing you around, by the way) feel like shit for no reason. Win-win.

If you’ve recently taken it off your profile, great! But, this is just step one - there’s a lot of work that we ALL need to do in examining our own beliefs and biases to take more steps towards equality within our community.

2. “Clean” is for the shower, not for someone’s HIV status

Your Auntie knows a fair few people living with HIV. 1 in 15 of us gays** are, in fact, living with HIV. So, no doubt, you know at least one person, too. Whether they have felt comfortable enough to tell you or not is a different story. Something that really upsets my poz friends is the use of the word “clean” to describe someone’s HIV status, and more recently, STI status too.

You know that sound of scraping your fingernails down a blackboard? Well, putting “only clean fun” in your bio has that effect on people living with HIV and anyone who knows and cares about someone living with HIV.

Regardless of the science, but just as a reminder - almost all people on treatment these days achieve an Undetectable Viral Load, which means they cannot sexually transmit HIV to you even without condoms or PrEP in the mix. Using “clean” implies that someone living with HIV is dirty, thus enforcing negative beliefs towards HIV/AIDS. I, for one, would much rather get freaky with someone with an Undetectable Viral Load than someone who claims they’re “clean”, yet has had a lot of raw dick in them but hasn’t tested in over six months. HIV is most easily transmitted when someone is in the early stages of infection and most dangerous when it’s undiagnosed – not when someone has tested positive and is on treatment.

Remember that time you were with a group of people all talking about that Netflix series they’d all seen, and you felt like you’d been living under a rock because you’d not even heard of it? This is what people who still say “clean” look like. So be that person who has seen the latest series, not the one awkwardly pretending they know who the Bridgertons are.

3. The pronouns field is not for showcasing your ‘comedic’ ability

I’ve seen all sorts of pronouns on profiles – from “fart monkey” to “#thiccboi” (true story), but what I see mostly are blank fields in the pronoun section or lost opportunities. When cisgendered people (people who identify as the sex they were assigned at birth) share their gender pronouns, it makes it safer for trans, non-binary, and gender-fluid people to share theirs. By stating in your profile that you like people to refer to you by he/him or she/her, you create a safe environment for those who identify as they/them or with different pronouns than those they were assigned at birth to do the same.

I know most of the people reading this aren’t trying to be as ‘funny’ as those people think they are, but most of you have still left your pronouns fields blank. We’re all part of the LGBTQI+ community, and respect for gender diversity and sexual diversity needs to be led from within. We’ve rioted and marched together for decades now.

Once you’re done reading this, put your pronouns on your Grindr, your Tinder, Instagram, and email signature, for that matter.

*Glen is not the person’s real name.

** In a recent Auckland study, 1 in 15 gay and bi guys were

Fairy Bread

INTRODUCING CANTA’S TIME CAPSULE

Each issue, we take a deep dive into the history of this fine publication and see what was happening on this campus in times gone by. Here we have an article from the Gay Pride Edition, Issue 12, June 21, 1980: Why Gays Fight.

WANT TO GO ON A BLIND DATE FOR LUCKY DIP? APPLY FOR LUCKY DIP ON OUR WEBSITE

dipper one

Okay, so I have like five different gentlemen in mind that I’m hoping this date could be with. Frankly, I don’t even know if any of them are single, but that doesn’t matter. Yes, I’m well aware that there is a high probability it’ll be none of these men, but a boy can dream. I’m sitting in the restaurant way too early! I was in the area, so I figured I’d just park up with a drink for a while before the date starts. I was too early because one drink turned into 3.

Then, my date arrives. Well, I assume they’re my date. The outfit he’s in is pretty homosexual. I was right. He is my date! No, it wasn’t one of my dream 5, but that is fine. He is really, REALLY cute. I feel it like a punch in the guts; the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. We introduce ourselves and make general conversation about how our days have been, etc.

Just a few sentences in, and I don’t think I’ve pronounced a single word correctly yet. I go to salvage the situation by complimenting him on his outfit. I fumble over those words too. God, he must think I’m the strangest person ever. Fortunately, I need to pee, so I excuse myself, go pee, and do that hype-myself-

up-in-the-mirror thing you see in movies. I get back and start rolling out the witty, funny comments. He actually laughs a few times!

Yus! I may be on my way to rescuing this date from the deep, dark hole it fell into. We continue to talk, the food arriving provided us with something extra to focus on. We eat and drink, and even have a mini food fight between ourselves (is that kinda hot? I’m not sure. Maybe?). Time flies, and before I know it, we’ve been there for two hours!

He says he’s got to go, as he made some other plans for later in the night. I hinted that maybe I could accompany him on his plans, but there was no bite. We exchanged Instagram follows and had a cordial hug. I suggest we “do this again sometime”, and he replied, “that’d be nice”.

I’m not holding my breath, but I think it was actually a pretty good first date. Thanks, CANTA for the good time, and everyone reading this wish me luck.

Lucky Dip is the longest running segment in CANTA. Each issue, we set two people up on a blind date and they record their experiences. These anecdotes are as they come; unedited.

Dipper two

This was my first ever blind date, and I was pretty nervous, mostly because I wasn’t convinced it was going to be that ‘blind’. After all, it’s Christchurch, and I’m gay - I’ve most definitely seen all the available men at some point on the various platforms.

Despite my initial suspicions, I didn’t know him at all! But, by the gods, he was hot. Like, I like to think I’m at least above a five - but I actually felt like he was way out of my usual league. He was so sweet too. I think a little nervous, but I doubt he was feeling anything that I wasn’t also.

We start with some general chat, and he gets a little tongue twisted. So cute! We talk about our days, what we do, and our families. He seemed pretty well rounded, which, I tell you, is pretty rare in the Chch gay scene. No tea, no shade.

He’s very complimentary, and we seem to really get the ball rolling with the conversation. Not to sound too clucky, but I

really like him. Totally separate from him, but CANTA’s choice of a date spot was pretty cool. I never thought of pizza as being a particularly good food for a date, but once we started having a little food fight with it, it really broke down the ice.

We finish our meal and have a couple of drinks - unfortunately, I couldn’t stay much longer because I was heading around to my cousin’s house to watch Drag Race UK, which I was fucking relieved Sister Sister finally went home.

We added each other’s grams and parted ways. He did suggest that we meet up again. I think I really would like to. I will arrange something else. I’m just waiting to see his Lucky Dip find out if he actually liked me haha. I think we’ll leave out the food next time ;-).

Homoscopes

A SASSY GAY MAN, BUT IN THE FORM OF A HOROSCOPE.

ARIES

Ram, bam, thank you ma’am. I know you think you’re good in bed, but only YOU think you’re good in bed. This month, try a technique other than ‘hard and fast’, people might actually come for round 2.

CANCER

Bad news, your Zodiac Symbol is crabs - yikes. Good news, your sign looks like the number 69. So in summary, you’re probably very good with your mouth, but you should really have regular STI tests.

LIBRA

You dirty bisexual sluts. You’re made for loving all. Go out, be proud, and live in the now. Who knows which way you’ll swing.

CAPRICORN

Hun, you are unique, awesome, and sexy as hell! Go out and slaaaaaaaaay. Sure, it might be hard to find the one, but you’re gonna find ‘em. Don’t worry.

TAURUS

The number 3 is an important symbol in your life. You’re surrounded by 3s. You should consider trying to translate these ‘3s’ to your sex life. Get on Grindr, message ‘couple 43sum’ and have yourself a good time!

LEO

Gurl, your pussy on fire! You’re stunning and fierce the rest of us are just supporting characters in the film that is your life.

SCORPIO

You are just an evil shitbag. You goddamn hump n’ dump. Everyone you touch ends up in pain.

AQUARIUS

You’re pretty boring and irrelevant. Lie and say you’re a different star sign.

GEMINI

I see twins in your future, damn that’s hot! We all know twins are the ultimate goal. Go fulfil that sexual fantasy babes xx.

VIRGO

You are boring, the antithesis of homo! You’re all about keeping your legs shut. Get with the program, hun.

SAGITTARIUS

Fuck gender, who needs that shit. You don’t need to conform to society’s expectations. Most likely, you’re above average looking, and gifted in all the right places.

PISCES

Everyone knows you’re crazy and moody. But hey, that’s who you are! Own it. See the crazy, be the crazy. Some people are into that.