CANTA ISSUE 10, 2021

EDITORIAL

Kia ora, and welcome back for the final stint of university for 2021! Well, here it is. CANTA’s Sex Issue, 2021. Thank you for your patience.

Sex is considered a fairly taboo topic. But for two weeks every year, CANTA doesn’t consider it that way… and we go DEEP. This is in large part thanks to you, the audience.

A lot of you answered our sex survey (like four-figures-a-lot) and were not shy on the details! So, thanks, you kinky bunch.

The Sex Issue is about celebrating everything sex. Regardless of your sexuality, your kinks, or where you’re at with your sexual journey, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. From virgin to slut, missionary position to BDSM sex swing, all experiences and tastes are as valid and authentic as each other. In this issue, we’ve flipped, spun, and turned the topic of sex inside out, examining it from all sorts of angles.

This first week back is also Te Wiki o te Reo Māori! So make sure to take a moment to appreciate the beautiful language, learn some new words, and take any opportunities you can to incorporate some more te reo into your conversation. Preferably we should just be doing this every week, but if you haven’t, take this week as a gentle reminder. We’ve included a handy page to get you started, where you can practice a basic introductory mihi.

Enjoy.

Kia pai tō wiki

Nāku noa, nā

Liam Donnelly

Kia ora, UC whānau, Welcome back. I hope you’re all suitably sanitised and masked up because, as my esteemed colleague alluded to above, this is about to get messy – in the best of ways.

We’ve challenged our writers on this issue to go after a theme that puts up a lot of challenges when it’s talked about. So, we here at CANTA thought we’d go all out and give to you a fantastically sex-filled issue discussing everything from what’s hot in the sex toy world through to what not to put in one’s orifices.

And, before you @ us, we’ve followed all of our decency guidelines, and after all, we’ve all got bits, right??

Noho ora mai,

Liam Stretch

CANTA TEAM CONTENTS

Managing Editor

Liam Donnelly

Print Editor

Liam Stretch

News Editor

- editor@canta.co.nz

- print@canta.co.nz

Emily Heyward

Designer

Conor Jones

Feature Writers

Neueli Mauafu

Lily Mirfin

Ella Gibson

Ella Somers

Contributors

Kim Fowler

Rosa Hibbert-Schooner

Rev. Dr John Fox

Ngawahine Thompson

Harriette Herland

Aunty Gale

Digital Editor

Pearl Cardwell-Massie

Audio Editor Asher Etherington

Video Creative Director

MaCaulay Quinn

Want to get involved with

President ' s piece

By Kim Fowler (they/them)

Kia ora team,

I hope you’re doing well and have been looking after yourselves well throughout the difficult time that is level 3 and 4 lockdown! Welcome back to term 4, in whatever form your teaching and learning might look like for now. Welcome also to our education students and postgrads who haven’t had the same break!

Starting back at uni after a break can always be a bit of a shock, let alone when it’s in the middle of a global pandemic. If you feel like things are a little bit rough right now, remember that there’s always help available. A good place to start is talking to Student Care or Te Waka Pākākano student advisors (if you’re a Māori, Pacific or Rainbow student). If you’re struggling financially, hit up our UCSA Advocacy and Welfare Team to see if they can help with a service like the food bank or hardship grants. If you’re struggling mental-health wise, try the UC Health Centre or Student Care.

Remember that you’re not alone and that there are people here at UC to support you and see you do well in your studies and outside of them.

The theme of this CANTA issue is sex, so here are some safe sex tips from me. Remember to always practice safe sex. That might be physical – ensuring you use protection (like condoms or dental dams) and lube, getting on PrEP if that’s relevant to you and getting tested for STIs regularly. Safe sex also has a mental well-being element to it, too – ensuring that you and your partner(s) are in the right headspace for sex, consenting with an enthusiastic yes, communicating well and always respecting the boundaries of people you’re involved with. If you want to chat to someone about how to have safer sex, or you’re worried about something, a great person to talk to is always your doctor. It’s their job to help you out with things like this, and they won’t judge you as medical professionals.

That’s all from me for now,

Kim

tumuaki piece

By Rosa Hibbert-Schooner

Tēnā tātou e te whānau,

Tuatahi, Nau mai i te korowai o Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori me Mahuru Māori. Ko tēnei te wā kei te hikina te manuka, kia kōrero mai!!! Ahakoa he iti, ahakoa he maha, karawhuia e ngā tauira mā.

With this week being Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori and this month being Mahuru Māori, Te Akatoki challenges you to use as much Te Reo Māori you can. Whether it be greetings, short sayings, dedicating half days to speaking or full weeks, we ALL play a huge part in whakarauora reo (language revitalisation).

Check out our Instagram and Facebook for initiatives, resources, and events happening this week. We have so many prizes to give away, nō reira pai tū pai hinga e te whānau.

Te Reo Tips for Tinder:

Because this is CANTA’s Sex Issue, I thought, what better way to celebrate Te Wiki than providing you all with some pick-up lines to spice up those Tinder dms?

We all know online dating apps can frankly be awkward. You often get hit with the ‘Hey there x’, ‘How’s it going hot stuff?’, ‘Is that kid in the picture yours?’, ‘Cute dog’, or some super sexual line about all the things someone wants to do to you (and fails to succeed in). Is anyone else sick of this dry and boring chat? Well, do I have some lines for you!!!! Try out one of these pickup lines in your bio, or when you find that special someone that you are keen to flick a message to. Because these pick-up lines are in another language, you are nearly guaranteed to get the answer, ‘What does that mean? X’, which may just spark a conversation that leads to LOVE, or better yet, SEX.

E te tau, Tō wera hoki - Darling, you are hot!!!

Kua warea au i tō ataāhua- I’ve been rendered by your beauty.

Kua patua au i te mate kanahe ki a koe - I’m exhausted by my desire for you.

Mata wai ana ngā whetū i tirohanha atu - My eyes water at the sight of you.

Retireti mai i āku karere - Slide into my dms

Happy swiping and messaging team, hope to see some of you soon ;)

Extra kupu that matter to us around sexuality and gender:

Ira Taahuurua koe: a word for someone who identifies as nonbinary.

Takatāpui: a traditional Māori word that includes gender, sexual orientation, cultural identity and ideas about belonging.

Tangata ira tane: a Māori term for someone assigned female at birth who lives as a man.

Whakawahine: a Māori term for some assigned male at birth but who lives as a woman.

Hoa rangatira: a Māori word for someone’s partner or husband/ wife. Directly translated to ‘chiefly friend’.

Whaiaaipo: a term to describe someone’s sweetheart, lover, betrothed, fiancé, fiancée, boyfriend, girlfriend.

Wahine: women / woman.

Taane: man / men.

RABIES SPREADING ACROSS CAMPUS

By Harriette Herland

The University of Canterbury has recently had an outburst of Rabies circulate around campus - and thankfully, not the deadly virus type of rabies.

Rabies is the new, independently run feminist zine created by an anonymous author who attends UC.

Named after the Roman goddess of anger, rage and frenzy, the publication had been floating around campus and contaminating some of CANTA’s magazine stands.

The most recent issue of Rabies covered the problematic comments within the UCSA Noticeboard Facebook group. Titled ‘Rape culture at UC,’ Rabies also interviewed a student who was allegedly videoed through her window whilst showering.

There have been frequent posts on the UCSA Noticeboard by students alerting others to concerning behaviour in the community, but the posts have been met with students tagging their friends in the comments asking if they were the alleged perpetrator as a ‘joke’.

The Rabies author stated, “they [the UCSA Noticeboard moderators] turn off the comments or just delete the bad comments like... how does that help anyone?

“We need to talk about how men support rape culture,” they said.

The UCSA released a statement in the group in response to students tagging their mates in response to concerning behaviour.

“Some individuals chose to make ill-advised comments which while intended as jokes, can normalize and trivialize this concerning behavior and cause distress for others,” the post said.

UCSA president Kim Fowler said, “we keep this space to serve you as students but draw the line at post[s] and comments that cause harm to others.”

Regarding the student code of conduct, “going forward we are taking a strict approach to anyone breaking the rules,” Fowler announced, which included banning, muting and removing students who breached said rules.

The Rabies author said it was time for people to “stand up for what you know is wrong … pull your shit together, it’s time for you to be angry with us.”

You can stay up to date with the next issue or send in your own topics to @rabieszine on Instagram.

LOCKDOWN SAW VOTER TURNOUT PLUNGE

By Emily Heyward (she/her)

Less than one quarter of students voted in the latest UCSA election – the worst turnout in at least five years.

After recording the highest voter turnout in 2017, the number of students having their say in the student executive election has been on the decline ever since.

Only 23.57% of students voted in this year’s election held at the end of last term, compared with 45.2% in 2017.

UCSA president Kim Fowler said moving into level 4 lockdown the night before voting opened appeared to impact turnout.

“Unfortunately, lockdown did appear to have an impact on voter turnout this year, which we were disappointed to see.”

They said the exec was going to work on figuring out how to boost student engagement going forward.

“The team are going to work to understand what new initiatives and improvements could be put in place for next year’s elections as they’re key to what we do at the UCSA, and we want everyone to be able to vote and run,” Fowler said.

Incoming president-elect Pierce Crowley, who received almost 60% of the presidential vote, said work needed to be done throughout the year to inform students about the purpose of the UCSA student exec.

“I think to drive up turnout the UCSA needs to do a better job throughout the year of explaining what the roles are about, emphasising that all students can run for roles, and ensuring that students are aware that it is more than just a CV stuffer and is a meaningful and exciting opportunity.”

While he wanted to increase engagement during his tenure, Crowley said his first priority as 2022 UCSA president would be to re-establish a relationship with Te Akatoki if it hadn’t been achieved by the end of this academic year.

“The issues that led to the decline in trust between the parties was systemic in nature so can’t be blamed on a single executive - but needs to be addressed in a meaningful way ASAP,” he said.

Te Akatoki tumuaki Rosa Hibbert-Schooner resigned from her position on the student exec earlier in the year over major pay disparities, which saw her earn two-thirds less than general executive members despite doing the same amount of work.

Crowley said, “I understand that the current executive team is working towards a resolution, and I’d be so happy if the relationship is repaired before the year end. But if there is still work that needs to be done next year it would be my personal first priority.”

Just over 4,200 students had their say in the student executive election which closed on August 20.

FLAT DISCOVERS FLATMATE DOESN’T HAVE OCD, JUST BEING INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT

Lockdown has proven to be an educational time for many flats around the Ilam region, with students discovering that bossy flatmate of theirs is actually really fucking annoying.

“They always just said ‘omg I’m so OCD sometimes lol’ and I believed them like a fool, spending all that time in lockdown made me realise they’re actually just a control freak,” said one flatmate, who wished to remain anonymous.

LOCKDOWN ‘PAINT & SIP’ SESSIONS TURN INTO ‘KET & SKETCH’

The popular lockdown activity of ‘Paint & Sip’ appears to have been played out, with students opting for a more radical version of the activity.

‘Paint & Sip’ involves a lockdown bubble gathering together to paint pictures and drink alcohol; now, students are choosing to partake in a more interesting version of the activity involving ketamine and pencils.

“Paint and alcohol make for a messy situation; we moved onto pencils because sketching is less messy, and the ket made it way more interesting,” said one local artist.

Even with three pencil-stabbing related deaths in the Ilam area, the popularity of ‘Ket & Sketch’ doesn’t look to be slowing down.

“If you’re a really annoying person, that’s a hard thing to hide when spending 24/7 in close quarters with other people.”

UC is offering free rental property counselling to any flats that now all hate each other’s faces.

UNIVERSITY MAKES UC BRANDED MASKS MANDATORY

The University of Canterbury has announced it will be making mask-wearing compulsory on campus, but there’s a catch.

The mask must be an official UC face mask, available for purchase at the University Book Store.

“For the safety of staff and students, we are making masks compulsory on campus. Specifically, UC masks, available at UBS for just $49.99,” said a University spokesperson.

When asked how students were supposed to buy a mask on campus if they can’t enter without already having the mask, UC simply responded, “Not my problem, bitch”.

By Reverend Dr John Fox

SEX AND THE SOUL

If you believe pop culture caricatures, religious people are supposed to be sexually repressed, hypocritical and odd about sex: grimly procreating large families to be indoctrinated and ruining “free love”. In real life, though, research tells us highly religious partnerships report double the sexual satisfaction of secular ones, God invented sex in the first place, and the Bible is stuffed full of erotic poetry written by the ancient Hebrews celebrating sex as an agent of union, commitment, pleasure, and delight.

However, often pop culture tells us that sex is simply scratching an itch; we keep trying to make more of it: surrounding it with music, poetry, promises, sacrifices – and there’s a good reason for that. Sexual attraction and sexual union point upwards, to hungers of the soul. The desire to be known. The pull to be loved. The urge to dare great things, and the desire to give oneself completely – and for that to be safe.

I still remember the gut-punch in taking the hand of my first date and the sonnet I wrote her afterwards saying the world stopped in her eyes. (I was 15. Cut young me some slack. It was a good enough poem that she didn’t mind sitting at the fifth form disco with the one guy for whom dance was a physical hazard). Attraction, even the teenage kind, is supposed to lead to deeper things, the kind of things we write poems about: love, commitment, sacrifice, pure affection, and companionship. That’s why religious people, in general, surround sex with our most savage taboos, our most sacred rituals, our biggest and best celebrations: it’s because to love is to be vulnerable, to give oneself. And to risk hurt. The things we insist on; the grace given by God, the participation of the community, solemn gift and commitment; these are things that try to make it okay to be known and safe to be loved.

On her 50th wedding anniversary, I asked my grandma the secret of relationship happiness. She thought for a moment and twinkled. Then she said: “Well, he was the most beautiful and competent man I’d ever seen. He had muscle. And he was strong, with kind eyes. And then when I got to know him, I saw he was brave, and decent, and dependable. And I knew I’d marry him when I knew that without him, I felt cold.” That’s partly a matter of simple attraction. But you can hear in it the warmth, affection, respect, commitment, and spiritual comfort sex is supposed to encourage and point to. That’s what I wish for you. And for me too.

Lastly, in the Godbothering vein, let me simply and gently remind you that sex is not the most important thing in life. I know, I know, you won’t find a Coke ad telling you that. But regardless of your sexual choices, your identity, security, and place in the world are assured by what and who you love and who you will sacrifice for. And real love, real gift, comes in a thousand different guises: parents, brothers and sisters, friends, neighbours and, of course, Jesus, who never had sex at all. You can do without the hookups. But not the soul food they’re supposed to point to.

Need to contact the Chaplaincy Team?

Revd Dr John Fox john.fox@canterbury.ac.nz

Jane Halliday jane.halliday@canterbury.ac.nz

Jo Ghastly is a Christchurch/Ōtautahi based comedian, actor, and improviser. Instead of Liam Stretch writing an intro, Jo wished to do her own.

“Previous career highlights include being a Canterbury 3ZB cheerleader last century and being typecast on stage and screen as everyone’s bitchy mother. Comedy provides welcome relief from peri-menopausal mood swings and the tortures of parenting teenagers.

Jo’s solo comedy show “The Cool Mum” won Best Solo Show and Audience Favourite Show at the Nelson FringeFestival2020.JowasrecentlynominatedforBreakthroughComedian(S.I.)atTheNZComedyGuild Awards. Jo regularly travels around New Zealand performing comedy.”

If there are some folks who are unfamiliar with you, who are you?

I’m Charlotte and Angus’ mother. I probably know your mum. Ask her.

Angus is starting University of Canterbury next year. Make sure you go up to him and say hello. He’s VERY proud that I’m his mother. He just loves it when strangers come up and say, ‘Yo, are you Jo’s son, Angus?’. He’s got brown hair and is about 5ft 11. He will be easy to spot.

Charlotte is third year at Otago, so you probably won’t see her around campus. If you do see her, tell her to get back to Dunedin. She’s very proud of me as well. You might have been to one of Charlotte’s parties.

You and I might have had a long chat. Or played beer bong.

My kids are super proud when I talk about them in my comedy shows. They think I’m hilarious and encourage me to do more comedy.

They’re particularly proud when I do a floss or a dab.

I’m all over Facebook, Insta and TikTok. Please follow me.

How would you describe your comedy?

My comedy is funny.

I have trophies to prove it.

What made you take the leap into comedy?

People say that women become invisible in middle age. You can’t be invisible when you are on stage with a microphone and wearing a bright red dress.

Essentially, comedy is my mid-life crisis.

Where do you find inspiration?

I’m mainly inspired by my own ability to bust out young people’s moves. Show me a TikTok dance, and I’ll do it. I’m also inspired by the everyday miraculous

wonders of my own parenting. Ask my kids.

They’ll tell you.

Who is your icon in comedy?

I just had to Google the word “icon”. An icon can be a devotional painting of Christ or another religious figure. I last went to church when I had a crush on Gerard Hogan in Year 9. This question is religion pushing.

So, comedy is not the only string to your bow; what is your day job?

My day job is as a psychiatrist. So don’t heckle me.

How has this shaped your jokes?

Psychiatrists come in all sorts of different shapes. Please don’t judge a psychiatrist or a joke by its shape. This question is fat shaming.

You’ve focused on being a ‘cool mum’ before; what does this mean?

If you don’t know what a ‘cool mum’ is, you are not a cool mum.

You can learn about being a cool mum by coming to my show (which coincidentally is called ‘The Cool Mum’ and costs $20).

This will also help you to release the inner coolness of your own parents. Bring your mum, and you can TikTok dance duet together.

What would you say is the best thing to make for someone on a first date?

When I went to uni we didn’t go on dates, so I don’t know much about them. Our version of a Tinder super-like was going home with someone after only one jug of beer. Anyone looks good with beer goggles on.

You asked the best thing to make on a first date? I’m not an expert on dating, but I’ve heard that people like it when you make “out”.

This issue of CANTA is the sex issue; what’s one tip you’d give to the young people out there?

I think it’s illegal for adults to give young people ’a sex tip’.

I have reported you!

What is one thing a parent should always do at their child’s party?

Where do I start!

When my kids host a party, they love it when I spend a lot of time talking to their friends.

Particularly when I talk to their friends about them and ask a lot of questions, this helps my kids to know that I care and I’m involved in their lives.

I usually like to perform a welcome rap. I usually get one of the partygoers to be the beatboxer. My daughter loves that.

My kids love it when I get involved in drinking games, particularly like the one where you throw the beer cap into a glass. I’m really good at that.

I’d also recommend that parents get onto the dance floor as soon as possible – to get the party moving. You can bust out some mod moves like the dab and the floss.

It’s also a lot of fun to get the whole party doing a TikTok duet with one of my TikTok originals.

What is one thing a parent should never do at their child’s party?

You should never just leave your kids to run their own party. It makes them feel unloved.

How can we see you?

To find out about my upcoming gigs, follow me on the socials: Insta, Facebook, Pornhub.

By Ella Gibson (she/her)

Stereotypes, sex education, and sex toys. CANTA’s Ella Gibson talks to Adult Toy Mega Store’s (ATMS) sex expert Emma Hewitt about all things sex toys. Ella and Emma discuss sex toys, top sex tips, and even what and what not to put in your butt! For all of this spicy info and more, keep ready and get ready to get vibey or vibratey, if you know what I mean.

1) Could you tell us a bit about yourself and what you do, Emma?

“Professionally, I am a sex education and content creator. I work full time for ATMS, and I’ve worked with them for about seven years now. Also, I’ve done a bit of freelance writing on the side. Everything for me in my professional career has always been about sex, sex toys, and seeking pleasure. I am also studying and doing a Sex Educator Certification through a school in the U.S. called ISEE, the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment. It’s super fun and more scientific than the name suggests. It’s a fascinating industry that I am in, but I really love it.”

2) Why has sex education specifically sparked your interest?

“I studied media and communications at Massey University. I did a lot of writing papers while I was there. ATMS had an internship role going, and it had ‘writing’ as part of the description, and it was the only thing that I could find that had anything to do with writing content or anything remotely like that. I was like, “you know what, it’s sex toys, it must be fun!” I knew nothing about it, and I just dived in. Instantly, I was like, “this is what I’m going to do with my life!” It’s just evolved from there.”

“The more that I learn about this whole industry, not just toys, but pleasure and sex in general, I think there’s a lot that isn’t taught to people. I think that our sexual health and sexuality is such an important part of our lives, and it’s something that isn’t taught to you in any form or setting. Over the last couple of years, what I have really tried to do has shifted towards educating people and sharing some of the stuff that I am learning. I am learning something new every day, and it’s an endless amount of info. And not everyone has an opportunity growing up and in their adult years to learn about this stuff.”

3) What do you think of the current sex education resources available?

“I’m 30 now, so I don’t know what it is like in high school now, but when I was growing up, sex education was very minimal. You learn to “use a condom or you’re going to get pregnant and to use a condom or you’re going to get an STI, and here are examples of the worst photos of what that could possibly look like”. I mean, the clitoris was nowhere to be seen in my sex education, and that’s the epicentre of pleasure for me, I’m a cisfemale, and that’s what feels good!”

“I feel like because we have the internet now, everything is a lot

more accessible to people. The breadth of different people from different backgrounds that are starting to become sex educators on whatever platform, let it be Instagram or Tiktok, it’s a lot more accessible to people. But of course, we’re very much being censored because it is on the internet, and we don’t have control over a lot of these platforms. I think that somehow we need to find a way to make it more accessible and have less censorship around what is ultimately education about a really important part of our lives.”

“Education was also very heterosexual. There was nothing for anyone on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum; there was never any information for those people. One thing is taught to everyone that is supposed to apply to everyone, and that’s just not how it works when it comes to sex.”

“New Zealand is always a bit slow to adopt things globally anyway. I follow some really great educators who have made these internet platforms like Scarleteen in the U.S., which is a sexual information website designed for teens and young people. Information about different clinics where you can go and get checked out. We don’t really have that here. You can go and get some info, but it’s not really targeted to you as a Kiwi. Hopefully, that will happen; I think it’s the slow approach that we like to take.”

4) Why do you think sex toys are important in our sex lives?

“There’s a lot of reasons. I feel like pleasure is something that is really important. At ATMS, we talk about this triangle of health. You have your physical health, your mental health, and then your sexual health. Often your sexual health is the overlooked aspect of your health. And it’s good for you; it relaxes you, it boosts your mood, it releases all these amazing endorphins and makes you feel good and sleep better.”

“Sex toys are designed specifically for those reasons and to help people achieve an orgasm; they can do it fast for a lot of people, maybe faster than just with your hands or with a partner. They are also really good for teaching you about your body and learning about what you enjoy and what your body responds to. If you can do that by yourself, there’s no pressure put on you either. There’s no pressure like there is with a partner to perform or make sure you’re pleasuring them and also feel pleasure yourself. And if you are having sex with someone else later, you can go, “Hey, I know exactly what I like, and I know what feels good, could you try this for me?”

“They also feel different to sex or any sexual play with people. A person can’t vibrate; a sex toy can! They offer something completely different. Our bodies are packed with nerve endings and erectile tissue and all this stuff that feels really good when it’s stimulated. And that’s what sex toys are there for.”

5) Do you think that sex toys could be of any benefit to uni students?

“I think one of the obvious main reasons is that it is amazing stress relief. Uni is stressful, and I have to say that when I was at uni, I was not a very sexual person. I didn’t have any sex toys, and I wasn’t really dating that much. I’m a stressed-out person, and I was at a constant high level of stress. I think that allowing yourself a little bit of a breather, a little bit of time to relax, to have fun and do things that are not focused on trying to get a degree or trying to get your work done is important.”

“It’s an interesting time in people’s lives. I feel like you are becoming the person that you are going to be. It’s a time for lots of exploration. It’s a whole part of that sexual wellbeing being such a part of your overall wellbeing.”

6) Do you think that sex toys have any negative stereotypes? If so, how should they be resolved?

“I think that there are still a bunch of negative stereotypes around sex toys. I think that we have seen some really great momentum in the last few years. Sex toys are becoming seen as more of a wellness product which is very cool. They are being sold in some chemists; you can get sex toys at some hair salons in Wellington now; they’ve even started selling them at Cotton On. People are starting to realise that they are very normal.”

“But there is still a long way to go because that is not something that has been around for a very long time. I think that there is still this idea that sex toys are only for single people who aren’t having sex with someone else at the moment or don’t have a partner, or can’t get a partner. There’s still this stereotype of “Why would you need that if you can have sex with a person” or “Oh, you can’t get laid, that’s why you have to have a toy!”

“There’s also a lot of people being intimidated by sex toys. Particularly in heterosexual relationships. I have heard a lot of stories of people where their partners aren’t happy that they have sex toys because they think, “If you’ve got me, why would you need to use that?” But they’re not the same thing! We don’t use sex toys to replace people to enhance our sex and sometimes with those people. I think that that still persists.”

“I think that for people with a penis, there is still a lot of stigma around their use of sex toys. And I do see where that originally stems from. What was deemed ‘male sex toys’ were very anatomical, and there was a lot of full-sized dolls and things like that. Some people still use and love those, and it’s really cool, but there wasn’t really anything else for people with a penis for a long time. Whereas people with a vagina have vibrators and toys that look like literal statues that you could put on your bookshelf and no one would know, they’re just beautiful. They

don’t look like a big penis all the time! It’s only really been in the last few years where things have pushed into this beautiful and non-body part looking toy.”

“I think that how we can move beyond that is talking about it. I think that the only way that you can normalise something is just more and more conversations. It doesn’t have to be person to person; it can be educators on the internet or a beautiful graphic or piece of art around sex or toys.”

7) If you could give one piece of advice to university students about sex toys, what would it be?

“I thought long and hard about this, and I’m doing one piece! It’s not very insightful but don’t put anything up your butt that is not designed to go up there! If it is a butt toy, it has to have a flared base or a retrieval chord because things can and will disappear on you, and you’ve got better things to think about and focus on than trying to retrieve something out of there. Honestly, I think that’s so important.

8) If you could give one piece of advice to uni students about sex, what would it be?

“Lubricant is your friend! It is amazing! It is good for any form of play, for people, for toys, and it is the thing that is going to stop your condom from tearing as well. Even with pre-lubricated condoms, it’s not enough lube, and you have to use more. I think that is just a very practical one, but it does make everything feel better! It also reduces stress because you don’t need to worry about your own body becoming naturally lubricated enough. Of course, there are a million things that can influence that not happening, including stress, and I feel like uni students are stressed all the time.”

“I think the other one is just to have fun! Sex is meant to be fun! It is meant to feel good. Do it with people that you trust because then you can just focus a little bit more on your own pleasure, and you can feel less pressure. Just enjoy yourselves and be safe.”

If you would like to hear about more wonderful content from Emma and the ATMS team, you can do so by checking out their YouTube channel ‘Adulttoymegastore’.

You can also check out their podcast, the ‘Electric Rodeo’ on Spotify.

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By Ngawahine Thompson (she/her/ia)

Who really benefits from feminism? Not BBIPOC, fat, disabled, gender diverse, poor, LGBTQ+ and other marginalised groups. Feminism on its own is extremely exclusive of anyone who isn’t the societal ideal of a female. In order to try and tackle this, the idea of intersectionality is pulled into the picture. Intersectionality can be an answer to creating inclusivity, except when those who are the least marginalised don’t know how to step back and listen.

I recently spoke on a panel on Intersectional Feminism run on campus. In short, it wasn’t a great time. It was actually really shit. The vibes were unsettled from the beginning when some suggested questions were on random Māori topics not relating to the panel and when I was asked if I wanted to do a karakia after the food had already been served. Instances like this continued when white panellists would add to our points as if they could speak from an Indigenous lens or reiterate our kōrero after we spoke as if to ‘whitesplain’ what we already said. The crowd recognised the discomfort of myself and another panellist, and eventually, two wāhine challenged the racism and disregard for Māori throughout the panel. After their kōrero, the other BBIPOC panellists and I spoke about how we felt in that space. We were acknowledged for our vulnerability and for making others aware of our experiences, but we didn’t need a response. We just needed to be heard. The panel was expected to continue, but this was not a safe space for us, and it needed to be closed.

This is a real-life example of how marginalised voices are treated in feminist spaces.

Marginalised voices deserve support and ally-ship in order for these discussions to be safe and inclusive. So many things are not helpful in these spaces, but there are plenty of things that are. Like the below:

1. Shut up and listen

A common microaggression I have seen is when privileged people speak after marginalised people to say they agree with them and to recap what was said. We don’t need your validation. What was said was enough; just listen.

2. Amplify the voices that need to be heard

The best way to be an ally is to uplift the voices of people at the centre of the issue. This isn’t the time to have your opinion or to try and make yourself look good. Marginalised people can speak for themselves without the need for others to speak on behalf of them. Follow the activists, share their content, and expose people to their voices. If you don’t know where to start, here are a few Instagram handles of people who should be heard; @hello.wahine @pori.mahmah @shaneellall @briannafruean @ nope.thank.you.very.much @lourdes.vano @saf_te_pia

3. Compensate people for their mahi

Oftentimes, marginalised people are expected to do activism work for free. Not only does it drain a person physically and emotionally, but it can also impact the amount of time they have available to work and earn money. As a Māori, it can be exhausting to constantly defend my right to exist as I am. This isn’t me asking for cash in hand, but more so asking people to recognise the energy it takes to do any mahi around your own oppressions. If you don’t know how to pay someone, ask them.

4. Recognise your own privilege

The key is to decentre yourself from the issue if it doesn’t impact you. Although I face some oppressions, I know that others face different struggles than I do. I am cis-gendered and straight, so LGBTQ+ spaces are not mine to speak in. Instead, I uplift the voices that need to be heard. I am privileged to be in tertiary education, live in a warm house, and be able-bodied. In some spaces, my voice should be heard. In others, it’s not my place. Recognising when to step back allows others to be centred.

If while reading this article your feelings got hurt or you felt angry, uncomfortable, called out or annoyed, then sit with that feeling. Ask yourself why you feel that way and dissect the reasons behind it. I haven’t revealed any new information that isn’t already out there, so if this is the first time you’ve heard any of these, you need to diversify your life. Look at your Instagram feed, the businesses you buy from, your friend circle and beyond. Are there fat BBIPOC on your feed? Does that clothing store carry anything above a size 24? Is the owner of that business LGBTQ+ inclusive all year round or just in Pride Month? Deconstruct your biases and look outside of your own life. In short, listen, amplify marginalised voices, pay people for their mahi, and decentre yourself.

Ngā mihi,

A Māori wāhine who has had enough x

Disclaimer:

*Iamonepersonspeakingfrommyownlivedexperiences.I donotspeakonbehalfofallMāoriwāhine.

**BeinganallygoesfurtherthanwhatIhaveofferedabove. Doyourownresearcharoundwaystosupportmarginalised groups.

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By Neueli Mauafu

(he/him)

Whether it’s the tunes that tingle your love senses or the jams that make you jump in bed with joy, music has always been a factor at the forefront of the game of love.

Love itself is broad and can be analysed through its many finer details and perspectives. This varies from the early stages of dating/courting through to the blossoming of the flower of romance. Or, in other cases, the quick plot of having a hook up in the heat of lust and sex.

This article lends focus to love in the form of those onenight stands and steamy sex sessions alongside their musical counterparts.

Music plays a key role in the evolution of human beings. Lullabies that we hear as children become staple sounds deep in our memory that can bring up emotion when revisited later in life. Songs we hear on special occasions – weddings, birthdays, traditions – all create emotional, and sometimes physical, responses. Regardless of who you are, there always must be a small piece of your brain that holds a lease for music.

The same appears to be evident with sex, and I constructed a quick survey online and distributed it to a few of my close peers to see their different takes on music and its role in intercourse.

QUESTIONS

1) Do you prefer music playing in the background whilst you make love?

A) It’s a must: 33%

B) Nope, but I wouldn’t mind it: 67%

C) A BIG FAT NO: 0%

2) Say you do enjoy some tunes while having a root; what might be your reasons for playing it?

A) Sets the mood: 83%

B) Keeps you in sync with your moves in bed: 17%

C) Hides the fact that you’re underperforming in bed: 0%

3) What genre of music would you prefer in bed?

RNB: 100%

4) Would you ever date someone due to their music preference?

A) Yes: 67%

B) No: 33%

A CRITICAL ANALYSIS

With the first two questions, it was just a set-up to see if music did at some point cross their minds when in the act of sex. For question one, there was a majority vote on the second option, on not minding the idea of music whilst making love. It had proven the fact that music does at least affect any individual regardless of who they are. If it hadn’t crossed their mind initially, they’re still excited by the notion of music alongside sex.

Sex and music connect in a passionate way, in which both aspects complement each other. It creates a setting of love and affection within the bedroom, as portrayed in the second question. The majority of the voting swayed on the first option. Music is enjoyed with sex because it sets the mood/ vibe. Understanding this makes it clear that music has a way of synchronising emotion and love all in one go.

My last two questions were more of a personal indulgence to find out the tracks preferred by the chosen participants. The most common genre was RnB. Commonly known as Rhythm and Blues, it is a combination of soft percussion with soothing vocals on top. It isn’t a question as to why RnB is a big playmaker within music and sex – the beats and vocals give so much stimulation to lovers who are relishing in fiery temptations.

Now, if you’re reading this right now and thinking, how is this article going to help me at all? The answer is up to you and your interpretation.

Sex is really meant for trying new things and exploring your world of fantasies. So next time you get busy, maybe have a go through that Spotify playlist and find some sexy tunes. Marvin Gaye?

Centrefold TE WIKI O TE REO MĀORI

I was catfished on Grindr by a guy using fake pics to get in my pants! How can you spot a catfish, and what do I do to avoid it happening again?

- Joe

Hey Joe,

I’ve been catfished a couple of times and it’s a pretty vulnerable feeling. I’ve been on the receiving end of catfishing in two different ways - first I was duped by someone using fake pics, and then someone stole my pics and used them to trick other people.

If you haven’t seen the TV show or know what a catfish isbasically it’s someone who creates fake profiles using someone else’s pictures and false information.

Catfishing is a big issue on Grindr. There are two main kinds of catfisher I’ve encountered:

1. The ones who use other people’s images to trick you into talking to them or meeting them for sex

2. The ones who try to scam us. They try to trick people to get information/naughty pics by using fake attractive pics. Sometime they just want to be sent photos, but sometimes they might ask for money in exchange for deleting the pictures.

So, how do you spot a catfish?

Keep an eye out for some of these common red flags in your chat:

• Watermarked pics or signs they could be screenshots.

• Intentionally unclear pics (i.e. the subject is far away, wearing big sunglasses, etc.).

• The person may look familiar to you, but not match the name you know them by (it baffles me how so many catfishers imitate locals).

• They send expiring photos so you’ve got no reference to check back on.

• Each photo may look like slightly different people.

• They might be very vague on personal details.

• Suss and inconsistent stories.

• They may ask to meet in a dark spot. The “lights-off bumup” type (not to be confused with the genuine guys who just love that kink);

• Or, refuse to meet at all, even if they are dangling a sexual encounter and requesting photos (in the case of the scammy types).

Sometimes you won’t figure it out until you do meet them - and that’s not your fault. When you get there you might encounter them trying to deflect from your gut reaction that something isn’t right:

• “I’m a little older than my photos”

• “I have slightly less hair now”

• Wearing sunglasses/hat

• Dim/dark lighting at the location

How do you avoid getting catfished?

If any of the clues say catfish, trust your gut. If you have a fishy feeling about it, you’re probably onto something.

So, if you’re feeling unsure but they’re hot and you don’t want them to be fake, try deploying some of these techniques:

• Ask them to chat on a video call

• Ask for more photos of specific things, i.e. holding today’s newspaper, like an old detective movie

• Reverse image search to catch out the catfishers who take pics from Instagram or Tumblr

• Ask for their social media so you can message on there

• Try front-footing it, for example: “I don’t mean to be rude and I’m sorry if this isn’t the case but I’m getting catfish vibes from you. I’ve been catfished before, so I’m a little cautious.” You can sneak in compliments here to soften it if you want, eg, “your photos just look TOO good!”

• Don’t ever give your address. You absolutely should ask to meet in a neutral public location first, or use the pin feature and meet them on a well-lit street.

How do you keep yourself safe/get out of a catfishing situation?

If you find yourself on the hook and have met with a catfish, your safety is the biggest priority. Some of these can help to get out:

• Just leave. You don’t have to say anything, not even goodbye

• If you feel the situation is safe enough, say it like it is. “You’ve misled me and I’m really not comfortable with that, I’m going to go now.”

• Say you’re feeling sick and leave

• Pretend you’ve had an urgent text and leave

• If you decide you are still into the encounter, that’s your prerogative. But if you do stay and you feel comfortable enough to, please try to have a conversation about how what they’re doing is unethical, illegal and that they need to stop. The rest of the community needs to be kept safe too.

• If you feel stuck and can’t get to an exit - ask to use the bathroom (lock the door, if possible) and call the police or climb out a window if it’s safe to do so.

• Regardless of which situation you end up in, this account needs to be reported.

If someone’s using your identity:

• Report the account

• Take screenshots as evidence

• Message the account telling them to stop using your image immediately, then block them.

• You could also contact the police - they are the only ones who can take something like this further.

Why do people even do this?

I don’t want to presume to know why those who aren’t scammers do this. They could be downlow, unwell, have severe body dysphoria that makes them want to impersonate someone else, or blatantly get a kick out of causing harm. None of these excuse the behaviour. In fact, it’s illegal and it’s assault.

Scammers? Well, they just be scamming, it’s gross and only going to get more common as information becomes more and more valuable. Look after your data folks.

If you need help:

You can contact Netsafe for advice or to report catfishing or any other kind of online harm.

The law states that a person does not consent to sexual activity with another person if they allow it because they are mistaken or misled about who the other person is. If you have been catfished into engaging in any sexual activity, there are people you can talk to who will support you and help you contact authorities if necessary.

• Talk to someone at your closest Sexual Health Service –they will have support pathways to help you, these differ from region to region

• Safetotalk.nz – is Aotearoa’s 24/7 helpline for any kind of sexual harm. You can contact them in whatever way feels most comfortable – text, email, phone-call and more. Trained counsellors will be able to speak with you and help support you

• If you feel comfortable speaking to the Police – there is a sexual assault unit that will be able to help you bring a complaint against someone who has harmed you. We understand that this is a big deal though, so we recommend talking to an organisation that can support you in contacting Police and help you through the process.

Brought to by Ending HIV and the New Zealand Aids Foundation. Check out endinghiv.org.nz for sexual health advice, discussions, free contraception, and to ask Aunty Gale a question yourself!

By Lily Mirfin (she/her)

“Rack off, you slack-faced moll.”

Don’t let the cliché sounding name fool you. It sounds like a video you’re going to be shown in your intermediate classroom, doesn’t it? But trust me, it is far superior to those videos.

The 2012 show Puberty Blues encapsulates the youth and surf culture of 1970s Australia – see, a lot better than some health class video.

Before becoming a cult TV show, it had its first incarnation as a book written by Gabrielle Carey and Kathy Lette, released in the early 1980s. Characterised by Debbie and Sue in the novel, the authors wrote the book as teenagers, focusing on their time coming of age as 13-year-olds living in the Sydney suburb of Sutherland Shire (Cronulla in the TV series).

The book caused controversy, given the authors’ ages when the novel’s events took place. These were were adapted for the TV series, but they still seem so young to be dealing with the things they face throughout their early teenage years. This can be seen through Debbie and Sue making it their goal to be part of the surfie gang, and along the way, encountering a bit more than they probably bargained for.

Women:

Women throughout the series are portrayed as distinct individuals only when around the company of other women. This individualism isn’t recognised by the men (and boys) around them. The way that women are treated throughout the series shocked me and shows just how far the cultural landscape has shifted. Puberty Blues seems to be several eras removed from where we currently are. The way in which our attitudes towards sexuality and consent have changed with time couldn’t be more striking. Sexual assault and harassment are commonplace throughout the book and TV series. Not only was assault and harassment commonplace, but victimblaming was also the norm.

Sex:

The way that sex is portrayed throughout the majority of the series is cringe-worthy for the most part. Mostly in panel Vans with your friends in the front acting like they had no clue what was going on in the back seat. The heightened level of cringe in the early episodes from these scenes is astounding. In season two of the TV series, Sue confides in her mother that she thinks sex is something that women just have to put up with forever. The idea of female pleasure is so unheard of to the girls in the series that they think it simply doesn’t exist. So, Sue’s mother, the delightful Pam Knight, gifts her daughter a copy of The Joy of Sex. Sue’s life then changes forever.

It’s an interesting real-world parallel as this book was one of many that contributed towards the cultural shift of the second-wave feminist movement, partly due to its discussion of female sexuality. A further piece of literature which aided secondwave feminism in its deconstruction of the place that women held in society, as well as the way they were perceived is The Feminine Mystique by Betty Freidan.

Such societal changes are easily visible throughout Puberty Blues, especially in the relationship between Debbie and her mother. The two seem to be representative of the old and new expectations for women.

This perception change challenges Debbie and Sue, and they become disillusioned with the sexism that surrounds them. The novel ends with the two girls purchasing a second-hand surfboard and surfing in front of their former boyfriends. They’re promptly dumped or “dropped.” Imagine having masculinity so fragile it’s threatened by a girl on a surfboard.

Give it a watch or a read – I’d give the series an 8.69 out of 10. Would be higher, but jeans on the beach is no go for me.

By Ella Somers (she/her)

What does the future of sex look like in a technology-saturated world where billionaires are trying to colonise space, climate change is getting scarier by the day, and James Corden just went viral for hip thrusting in a mouse costume in public? Ella Somers looks at some sex tech trends to see what the future holds for the $30 billion industry.

Robots, robots, robots

There are plenty of arguments from researchers for and against the use of sex robots. But one thing both sides can agree on is that sex robots are going to be a much bigger part of the future of sex tech – technology has completely changed the sex robot environment.

Artificial intelligence is giving people the ability to program sex robots with facial expressions and conversation. These are both able to be programmed to change as well.

These robots aren’t cheap either, costing thousands of dollars – some retailing at $12,000 USD – and getting more expensive once AI and other customisations are added to the mix.

Sexual health

The first thing that comes to mind when you think of sex tech might be robots, but some of the most interesting sex trends around the future of sex tech are those around sexual health. From being able to check sperm count at home, tracking ovulation and menstrual cycles, and even providing premature ejaculation treatment, sexual health tech has come a very long way already.

As well as that, we’re also seeing a rise in sex education technology that people are able to access in a multitude of ways thanks to the internet.

Teledildonics

The Medical Futurist predicts that teledildonics (virtual reality porn) will be on the rise in the future. According to Insider, the Covid-19 pandemic saw a massive increase in the use of teledildonics during 2020 - thanks to the pandemic preventing people from leaving their homes.

Sex tech has picked up on this newfound interest and is experimenting with what does and doesn’t work in a now booming teledildonics market which is showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

ARE FEATURED AS THEY COME – UNEDITED.

Female – 61%

Male – 33.4%

Non-binary – 2.5%

Genderqueer – 0.7%

Genderfluid – 0.7%

Transgender (MTF) – 0.7%

Transgender (FTM) – 0.5%

Intersex – 0.4%

Other – 0.1%

Heterosexual – 63.2%

Bisexual – 19.5%

Pansexual – 6.2%

Questioning – 3.4%

Lesbian – 2.3%

Gay – 2.3%

Asexual – 1%

Demisexual – 1%

Sapiosexual – 0.4%

Queer – 0.4%

Skoliosexual – 0.2%

Other – 0.1%

NO 15%

Switch – 40% Submissive – 39% Dominant – 21%

Women: Submissive – 52% Switch – 41% Dominant – 7%

Men: Dominant – 47% Switch – 38% Submissive – 15%

YES 85% 32

A couple times a month – 33% A couple times a week – 33%

A couple times a year – 17% My genitals need a rest – 9% Just when I’m single – 8%

Hair pulling

Choking

Cumflation - don’t know how, don’t know why, don’t know how to stop.

Heat play

Thighs, eyes, nose

Feet

Stick a finger in my butt thanks x Bondage, nipple play, sensory deprivation

I’m boring

Bondage, switch, pain play, biting, choking, hitting, pegging,

Face sitting

Synchronising orgasms

Dominating people of authority e.g. lecturers

Batman

Used to call people on the phone during sex

Feet and golden showers

BDSM

Bro everything

Cars, Planes and Trains

Look I’ll try anything once

Older guys, hairy chest

Pasta related sex

Mirrors, shower sex, age play, bondage

Dirty talk, furry sadly, hypnosis

Watching them masturbate

Dating men that make me feel powerful

The Bible

Men’s penis

Pegging

Public places

Gingers

Finger sucking

Engineers

Caning, whips, chains, cuffs, collars, spanking, spit, face-slapping, choking, hair-pulling, overstimultion, edging, voyeurism

I like fingering my bfs ass while he’s fucking me

Being treated like a ragdoll

I find it very erotic when they cut my toenails with their teeth and spit them back into my mouth

What am I not into? Let’s be real

Lip biting

Hypnosis

Saliva

Naughty student and teacher

Disney films

Handstand during sex

On Top Of Castle Hill

Ilam Gardens

Standard Car Sex, Toilet In Uni Hall, Paddock On Farm, In A Spa.

Undercroft Bathroom

At A Dog Park

Willowbank

On Top Of A Water Tower On A Hill

A Graveyard.

Te Papa In A Playground

On A Submarine

The Old Foundry Kings College Disabled Toilet

In An Old Countryside Church.

Orewa Public Toilets

Pillow Fort

Under A Bridge On A Couch

Mono Bathroom Train Tracks

Outside Jellie Park, Or Bathroom At Botanic

In A Plane

The On-Campus Community Garden

Steps In A Skatepark In Wellington After Too Much Ket

Ilam Rd Cycle Lanes

Uc Library

11th Floor Of The Lib

K1 Lecture Theatre

James Hight Elevator

Karl Popper

In A Hospital Bed

Clyde Car Park At Uni Haha

Tower Of London

On A Volcano

Mosh Pit At Electric Ave

Mcdonald’s Supply Closet

College House Library

Margaret Mahy Playground Slide

In A University Lab

Up Mt Hutt Over The Back Of A Ski Run, It Was Cold Af

In A Cat Flap (Literally A Cat Flap In A Glass Door)

A3 Lecture Theatre

In A Kayak

A Staff Member’s Office In Psychology Block. It Was Unlocked And Unattended

A Christian Camp (Oops) / A Swingers Sex Club

Law Ball

You Know Those Shark Diving Tanks? Yeah. That.

Principal’s Office

Helicopter

Queenstown Esplanade

Foundry Dance Floor

The Louvre In Paris

Ilam Gardens After Mono

Engcore Booth

Denny’s Disabled Toilets

On Top Of An Abandoned Bus In The Woods

Bentleys Toilets

Bunnings Warehouse Tower Junction Carpark

Mortuary Bathroom

Queenstown Gondola

With my ex’s best friend

Unfortunately have all been with men so N/A Hot straight guy - mucking around for his first time - fun! With my current partner on an MD comedown, was very intense and fun

He was slow and sensual and really took his time to make me feel good.

Getting railed on the bonnet of a car up the Port Hills in the dark

On a blanket during a picnic, sun shining, we smoked a joint. Fuck it was a good one. Best sexual experience was when we did it in the public restroom. The fact that it was so scandalous as well really added to the experience.

Pegging a guy for the first time

Threesome with a couple twice my age

That one time I had sex in the woods

Me and my partner ended up having sex for about 6 hours and lost track of time. Has only happened that once, it was a very tantric, mind-blowing experience that I wish I could do more often

As a female actually getting to climax

A one-night stand. The guy was super dominant, threw me around. Communication was there. Just a great fun night all round

When I got fisted

It was ANZAC day and it was not only the first time a man made me cum, but also the first time I was eaten out. God bless our vets!

Anal in the UCSA building

4/5 hours of mutual edging

In a sauna in Italy

break up sex while my ex-boyfriend and I were on holiday together

Clapping a girl’s cheeks while she wakes up the neighbourhood

First time cumming in someone’s mouth felt pretty unreal

Sex in a shower after taking edibles

Hour long. Ropes. Dominated. Affection. Communication and boundaries. Incredible.

With my current partner, had a marathon of essentially nonstop for 8-9 hours taking and sending pictures and videos to others throughout. He got 7-8 and I had like 30+ orgasms….we slept almost the whole next day.

It was definitely gay

6 people in a bed

Skipped uni and spent the day in bed with my partner, we were either having sex, eating nuggies or watching Netflix, or all three. Good day. The dream.

Pub toilet at a family function (not with a family member tho)

Got the best head of my life the second time I had sex. I still think about him tbh

Either the spit roast between the married couple or the time I left the motel door unlocked and a random came and did the deed.

On a computer chair

Someone off Tinder, met once and never spoke after

Hooking up with my flatmate during the first week of Level 4 my first; tinder hook up at 3am in a car

When I was high on LSD shooting rainbows out of my dick.

On gear while skinny dipping

Getting head while getting asshole rubbed w/lube

That one guy who could find the clit

Crazy British boy

A good rope/impact/fisting session with my lover while listening to our very queer sex playlist

Vibrator + penetration from bf combo

lanky ginger, fully put my back out for a week

Ngl it was post ‘break up’ with a guy. Just very impassioned.

Not yet…. Unless you count temple basin shenanigans

I’ve had a few threesomes

No, I’m not one to share

Threesome w two of my flatmates

Yeah had a 10-person orgy in the library

Eiffle Tower

Yeah once had an orgy with a football team big yes, awesome foursomes at high school hahah

Yes, several, with up to 5 of us at the same time!

Yes, multiple threesomes and also a session with 8 people

Na but keen as, switching with the boys would be fun

I’ve been a third more times than I’ve had an actual relationship, (almost) lost my virginity in a three way with two chicks, and had a couple near full-on orgies, so yeah I’ve dabbled.

Many times

Yes, once with my ex bf and his girlfriend at the time. She was on her period so I only got to appreciate her boobs

ummm yay the more the merrier

5-person group sex in friend’s living room, flatmates were asleep. Next day realised curtains were open the whole time.

Yes - our flat warming, 2018, first year of uni. Roughly 25 people joined in, it was there I discovered my love for woman, and I received the highest of compliments; a gay 25ish male told me I had been his best kiss. Truly lovely.

No but not for a lack of trying

Yes, lots of FFM threesomes and group sex involving multiple people at a sex club

Melbourne 2 girls 5 guys. RnR 2 girls 1 guy. RnR 2 dicks 1 chick.

Yup, had a FMM. Super exciting and nerve racking since I had never met the other guy until he walked in and joined in (preplanned obv), also the biggest cock I have ever seen or taken �� like 11” long and 9” girth… had some fun for an hour or two then he left for us to carry on.

Couple circle jerks

Only via Messenger

Yes. Got spit roasted once

Flat orgys

My partner and i engaged with another couple after meeting at a mutual friend’s party

Yes! Once went to an Orgy of 15 guys in a hotel on Bealey Ave

Only if you count with the 5 guys banged on the same night

With 3 of my RA’s

I sealed off my 21st with a threesome. Best present ever

I once brought this girl home from town, and while doing it she said “omg thats alot of cum” I was confused because I didn’t realize that I had come. Then I realized I had broken my banjo string while inside of this girl and I had bleed IN HER and all over the hotel’s sheets.

T’was summer between year 13 and 1st year went around for a ‘swim’ with a girl I’d be seeing. Before too long we were going at it in the lounge (because “I’m home alone”) and got walked in on by her mum, who had come home from work for lunch. I had just passed the point of no return and started to pull out when she opened the door. Anyway, I came on her back in front of her mum. To her mums’ credit, instead of getting angry she just joined in for round 2. I think they both had some serious daddy issues.

This tinder guy mid coitus suddenly stopped and brought his laptop out to then discuss the American presidential election and who he would vote for

I once was driving a car while a girl was giving me head. I pulled over to fuck her in the back seat but accidentally crashed into a ditch. We still went at it in the back seat while in the ditch, but during the sex my nose started bleeding all over her. Lots of fun

Was seeing a gymnast for a little bit, and we left the bedside light on. Remarkably flexible gal, didn’t realise that we were projecting onto her fairly thin curtains for the rest of the party to see

I forgot the person was there the morning after a hook up and started ranting to myself, walking back and forth across my room about why I shouldn’t have had sex w that person and then I hear from my covers ‘are you talking to me?’ Hahahah

My partner and I were making dinner, he was on the vegetable chopping, when we kinda just got in the mood so took things back to the bedroom, we get into it and I start to feel a burning sensation where you don’t want one.. very confused I was wondering if one of us had gotten an STI or something? Turns out he had been chopping onions and we were in such a rush he didn’t wash his hands. We spent the next wee while in the shower pouring milk over my cooch. Please remember to wash your hands.

What comes to mind straight away is the amount of times sex has caused my period to start! That or dogs staring at me. Or the time I overheard my partners parents having sex while we were going at it. I’m so glad I’m with someone who understands that stuff like queefing, farting, stumbling, and funny faces just comes with the territory. Down with the stigmas!

I was seeing this guy for a couple months and we really clicked and one night we decided to finally have sex after waiting awhile since we really liked each other, so we started getting it on and welp he put his phone under his pillow and about 10 mins later during full on vaginal penetration and we both heard talking and worked out he had accidentally called his family group chat and his mum, dad, brother and grandmother heard the whole thing, was a bit awkward after that I met his family and they loved me and we are still friends to this day we look back on it and laugh now

A guy decided it would be sexy to eat chocolate off each other... except he had no chocolate... so I ended up lying there with jam on my titties

My dog started licking my partners ass halfway through the deed, we had to stop because I couldn’t stop laughing

High fived after sex

So, I was getting a blow job - and having my toes sucked. Honestly, it’s quite enjoyable. I didn’t ask for it, he asked to do so. He was basically already cumming. I, on the other hand, was stupid and left The Guardians of Gahoul - the owl movie - playing in the background. Let’s just say, animated owls and 30 Seconds To Mars are not conducive to ejaculation. I sent him home unable to cum. So, if they’re reading this, I’m sorry - you want to try again?

He pulled out and came on the dog by accident

Vomiting all over his dick, bleeding on his bed, then he told me he loved me. Still together.

Met on a night out went home with him was sucking his dick and then vomited in mouth and kept going, then got my period all over his bed and the thing is he saw me again after that

Probably the first time, I was drunk at a high school paddock party, the guy (who went to the Tokyo Olympics I might add) took me to his car and we attempted to have sex. He had whiskey dick and I had a tampon in me that I forgot about but we still tried for what felt like hours until flashlights were looking in. The next day I had to fetch my bloody undies from his car and go to the doctors to get my tampon removed because it was lodged so far up. Funny thing is, mum never brought me tampons because she thought they break your hymen. Turns out she was right, I lost on virginity to a tampon.

Anonymous

Rowan Cleary

Courtney Hale-McKinstry Samantha Couper

Dinuk Samarasinghe

Laura Heron

By Liam Donnelly (he/him)

Everything You Need To Know To Do Butt Stuff With Others Or By Yourself

Okay, so you’re new to – or interested in trying – butt stuff? Remember, wanting or enjoying anal pleasure has nothing to do with a person’s sexual orientation or gender. Putting stuff in your ass doesn’t make you “gay” – or straight, or anything else; it just means you like how it feels.

Anatomy of the Ass

Before we go putting the whole kitchen pantry up our asses, let’s get to know the ass a little better.

The two parts of the body involved in ass-play are the anus and the rectum.

• The anus is the opening where the gastrointestinal tract ends and exits the body. Essentially, the anus is the part of the butt you can see.

• The rectum refers to the last several inches of the large intestine that are closest to the anus. This is where toys or body parts are located when fully penetrated.

• The muscles used to loosen and tighten the anus is known as the External Anal Sphincter.

Now we know our ass a little better; it’s important to remember it is still just a body part, so don’t go too hard with whatever you’re putting up there. You can hold tension in your asshole the same way you store it in your shoulders, so if you are especially tense, that can cause penetration to be uncomfortable. Take it slow, use lots of lube, and relax in whatever way works best for you.

Interested in ass-play but don’t want to have a “shitty” time?

This is probably the number one factor that prevents people from exploring butt play, so let’s address the elephant in the room.

Unless you are right about to take a shit (in which case you shouldn’t be trying to put anything in there), don’t worry, poop is not stored in the rectum where most body parts and toys are going to reach.

If you are overly concerned about coming into contact with poop, douches can be used to help clear it out. But be warned: Using a douche can throw off the delicate balance of your body’s internal bacteria and PH levels, and being used too frequently can cause more problems than they eliminate.

Finally, what can go in an ass?

Number one ass safety tip: Do not put anything in anyone’s ass that can get lost up there. If you’re putting an object in your ass that’s not otherwise attached to a body, be sure it has a flared base.

Remember, body parts are blunt, soft, and fleshy, so don’t just treat a toy as if it’s another body part. But regardless of what you’re putting in your ass, make sure you actually want to, that you’re in a comfortable environment, you’re well lubricated, and aren’t rushed!

To clarify further what can and can’t go in the ass, below is a fun colouring in activity for you:

1. Not a good idea

2. No, it could break off

3. Yes, definitely; note the flared base

4. Hahaha no.

5. C’mon, why? No.

6. Nope

7. No, you might just lose it

8. Also no

9. Yes, definitely; note the flared base

10. Absolutely; maybe try a trainer first

11. Yes, definitely; note the flared base

12. This will get you into the ER

13. Oh my, no

14. Yes, definitely; note the flared base

15. No fucking way! The only living thing that should go up your ass should be attached to a living person.

WORD WHEEL

Make as many REAL words as you can, using the centre letter.

Having sex takes it out of you. You burn calories and can come out the other end feeling a little peckish. So, after extensive research, CANTA has collated the definitive list of the best post-sex foods – well, not so definitive, we could only come up with 10.

1. A Gogurt. Packed with the essential vitamins, acidophilous, and probiotics that you need post-coitus. They are also conveniently messfree when sucked in bed and can be surreptitiously consumed as not to let your partner in on your quick slurp.

2. A cigarette.

3. Chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce. UberEATS these. And get a cheeseburger while you’re at it.

4. A mandarin or any segmented fruit. They’re sexy.

5. Have sex again. This will satiate any hunger.

6. Avocados, especially for those with testicles, because vitamin E helps balls, apparently.

7. A cola ice vape and a blue V.

8. Sushi Café rice ball. Have crispy, half teriyaki. Extra meat and mayo.

9. A cheeseboard – must include blue cheese, grapes, figs, and artichokes.

10. A bootleg corner dairy lunch pack.

WHORE- OSCOPES

WHICH SEX POSITION YOU SHOULD TRY, BASED ON YOUR STAR SIGN

ARIES

The “Spider”

TAURUS

The “Butter Churner”

GEMINI

The “Spork”

CANCER

The “Snow Angel”

LEO

The “Stand and Deliver”

VIRGO

The “Upstanding Citizen”

LIBRA

The “Table Top”

SCORPIO

The “Chairman”

SAGITTARIUS

The “Standing Wheelbarrow”

CARPICORN

The “Pretzel Dip”

AQUARIUS

The “Scoop Me Up”

PISCES

The “Cross Booty”