CANTA ISSUE 1, 2020

EDITORIAL

Hello! Welcome to 2020, welcome (back) to the University of Canterbury and welcome to the first issue of CANTA, your student magazine. We are thrilled to be here and we are stoked for you to be here too. This issue is a little bit of an unofficial guidebook to university, I hope you find some helpful hints for the year ahead!

This is the first year since CANTA began in 1930, where the magazine is newly editorially independent of the UCSA (big yeow!). Be assured that we will be standing up for students, investigating the issues you care about and demanding a better university for us all with every single issue. Keep an eye out for us around campus - there are stands throughout where you can get your free issue, fortnightly! The undercroft has a big collection, as well as just outside the library.

CANTA is a platform for your voice, so do get in touch at any time with pitches, pieces, and ideas you’d like to share. You can pop by our office in Haere-Roa to chat (any excuse to get coffee or fries from Nuts n Bolts please), send me an email at editor@canta.co.nz or flick us a message on our Facebook page @cantamag. There are so many ways you can get involved with the CANTA team. You can share your opinion through writing a letter to the editor, get your flat to model in a Flat Famous photoshoot, investigate and write up a feature article, or head out on a blind date to maybe fall in love (or at least get free pizza from Sals) and those are just a few of the opportunities!

My name is Samantha (Sam) and I am CANTA’s editor for this year. I’ve just graduated after studying four years of a law degree in two different cities and so I thought I’d share a few thoughts on the wild, wonderful years that university is. Now that I can look back on my uni

days, I know I will always remember this time as some of the best and yet hardest years of my life. I say the best because of all the memories I’ve made, all the rad soul-friends I’ve found, and of how much I’ve grown. I say the hardest, also because of how much I’ve grown - something which has not been easy. If you head into uni straight out of high school and live in a first-year hall or go flatting, your world changes so quickly. There’s less structure to your life and there are no parents to look after you. Instead, it is basically all on you. But guess what - you’ve got this! University is a time to figure out who you are. And it really doesn’t matter if you get to the end of your degree and still feel unsure of what career or direction you’d like to follow, as long as you know your values and what’s important to you. Take this time to figure out what those things are.

If I could pass on any advice it would be to just dive straight into how messy, life-changing, breath-taking and miraculous these years of your life will be. Study hard, follow the joys that pull on your heartstrings, don’t be afraid to change your mind, and don’t be afraid to commit and dedicate yourself, even when times get challenging. And keep perspective. Life is so precious and there’s a whole world out there to explore. Let your canvas be coloured with all sorts of new experiences. Grades aren’t everything, just try your best, that is all that counts at the end of the day. Relax, have fun, enjoy it all!

I hope this year will be your most remarkable one yet.

Lots of love, Sam

CONTRIBUTORS

Samantha Mythen

Liam Donnelly

Conor Jones

Harry Robson

Pearl Cardwell-Massie

Spanky Moore

Chloe Wium

Talisker Scott Hunter

Java Kutzur

Frances Scrimgeour

Ella Somers

Asher Etherington

Estelle Millar

Ben O’Connell

George Stilwell

Christiana Taigel

Andy French

Sharna Beach

Tori McNoe

Thomas Galbraith

Letters to the Editor

DO YOU HAVE A THOUGHT TO SHARE OR A QUESTION TO ASK?

Dear Editor,

With Orientation Week comes a bunch of freshers and firstyears wanting to experience everything that our university has to offer. The thing is, I am a little put off by the fact that Toga Party and The First Froth are R17 events. Sure, it’s nice that old students won’t be able to easily sift on us newbies inconspicuously anymore, but those events don’t seem worth going to, even as a fresher. Prove me wrong, Canta.

- Nice Guys Finish First Year

Hey NGFFY,

I was actually 17 when I first started uni, and it honestly sucked a heap – you make some rad friends and party together in the early evening and then everyone heads off to town...where alas, you cannot go. I reckon it’s a cool thing that there are at least a couple of R17 events! Just because ur 17 doesn’t mean you hate the boogie! In regards to sifty older students – hey, age is just a number! Finally - whether O-Week events are worth going too – hell yeah, of course they are! I’d say you are only young once and now is the perfect time to seize those fast, wild nights! You’re going to make a heap of friends in the first week and dancing hard together is the perfect way to make epic memories together. Only boring people get bored anyway and why would you turn down the opportunity to dance!

Dear Editor,

I’m a simple girl, like really, all I need in life is three simple things: Mono, $3 rice, and most importantly, fried pickles. Two of these are no sweat, I can find them on campus regularly. However, I’m in a bit of a pickle with that last one… There is an outrageous lack of fried pickles to be found around UC and I need this to be brought to public attention. I have searched high and low, trying more meals from uni cafes than that kid with the food column, for even just a single pickle slice. But no. I’m disappointed, heartbroken and simply devastated, to say the least, that UC is not using my student levy to provide this need to me. Why is this? I need answers, does UC hate pickles? Is the vice-chancellor deathly allergic and they’ve been banned? Why are we been deprived of this absolute delicacy? I want answers and I want change!

Peace out,

- A girl who just really loves a good pickle...

Hey pickle fiend,

Hmmm I’d recommend heading to the nearest supermarket, buying yourself a jar of pickles and there we go! You could even shout yourself a deep frier from Noel Leeming, meaning you can make fried pickles from the convenience of your own home. Problem sorted. Will probably be cheaper than any fried pickles you’d find on campus anyway.

EMAIL EDITOR@CANTA.CO.NZ

Dear Editor,

Is it so bad it’s funny that UC Women in Law literally picked the most privileged white male on campus to represent our wahine lawyers on campus this year? Nope you’re right, not funny, just bad. Ahhhh, how do I start a petition to GET ME OUT OF HERE!?!?!?

Yours truly, - I picked a bad day to be a woman

Hey there, I can’t say I’ve ever met this man before, but I think it’s important to remember the significance of diversity and working together. Maybe it’s a cool thing that a male is interested in working with a primarily female focused group? I mean he has chosen to dedicate his own time and effort into working with this club – surely that says something good! Hopefully when he leaves university to become a real-life lawyer, he will be at the forefront of bringing change to the legal world (time to get rid of the old boy’s club for sure). Think of him as a spy who can infiltrate from the inside! We are all in this together. Maybe you could run for the club next year too?

Dear Ed,

Is it better to do post graduate study immediately after my bachelors, or should I try find a job to earn money? Or try to do part time with them both? Please help, stuck with my life choices. - Stuck!

Hey you,

First of all, the hippy I am would say: What does your heart say, what would love do? The practical me would ask: Does the thought of more study excite you? Or are you eager to earn some money? What is your end goal? To reach that end goal do you need to do further study or do you need some work or life experience? For me, I’ve just finished my law degree and yeah, one day I’d love to study a postgrad in international human rights law, but right now, I’m 21 and I am so eager to just live and have fun, so I’ve chosen to work for a year (doing something I’m passionate about) and them I’m heading overseas. Write a pros and cons list, listen to your heart and gut, and try to remember that hopefully life is long and you can always change your mind and change your path. Do the thing that’s going to make you the happiest. Life is precious, no point AT ALL doing things that do not excite you.

(Because sometimes it’s important to remember there’s more to life than study)

The Impeachment – A Historic Investigation

Pearl Cardwell-Massie

On September 24th 2019, the United States of America’s Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, announced to the globe that a formal impeachment inquiry on President Trump would begin. Six committees of the House of Representatives were responsible to undertake this inquiry.

By a United States definition, an impeachment is a charge of misconduct made against the holder of a public office.

This investigation began after an anonymous intelligence official filed a complaint in August that year against Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States, for abusing presidential power. The whistle-blower specifically alerted the White House of a phone call made between Trump and Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelenskiy. The call included Trump asking Ukranian President Zelenskiy to investigate former US Vice President Joe Biden, and a Democrat running for president in 2020, to help Trump’s re-election bid. Additionally, a conspiracy theory that Ukraine, not Russia, was behind 2016 election meddling was discussed. This phone call was later released to the White House during the investigation.

When Pelosi announced the impeachment inquiry on September 24th, she mentioned Trump’s further dealings with Ukraine. The US president is urging a foreign power to intervene in the 2020 election. According to a testimony of the impeachment trial, a pressure campaign organised by Trump’s lawyer was made to work with the Ukrainian president, including a $US391 million “aid donation” that was sent by Trump to Zelenskiy.

Trump then defended himself saying that the phone call with Ukrainian president was innocent and that all other charges were not considered as good enough reasons to impeach a president under the US Constitution.

Trump was officially impeached on December 18th.

Then, on January 6th during Trumps’ trial, the Senate ruled Trump “acquit” of the claims made against him. Only 48 out of 100 ruled him guilty for the first article of charges, and 47 out of 100 for the second article. To finalise the voting, two— thirds of the senators needed to vote Trump guilty for the impeachment to go forward, but this requirement was never met. Therefore, this historic investigation came to a close with Trump standing as not guilty.

Caucus at Iowa Harry Robson

Since 1980, every candidate who has successfully sought to be the presidential nominee of either the Democrats or the Republicans in the United States of America has won at least one of the first two political contests in their party’s primary. The Iowa Caucus is the first event in the Republican and Democrat primaries, where voters select their nominee for president. A caucus is when citizens congregate at a town hall event to publicly vote and debate on candidates seeking office.

For Democrats, Iowa is divided into 1678 precincts. In each precinct there is a designated area (such as a gymnasium, town hall or church) for voters to attend. Voters may register with the caucusing party before or on the night. Voters then choose which candidates to vote for by standing in designated sections for each candidate. The voting involves two rounds with a period of debate in between. The final vote tally was 27% for Bernie Sanders, 25% for Pete Buttigieg, 20% for Elizabeth Warren, and 14% for Joe Biden. Averaged polling before the caucuses showed Bernie Sanders at 23%, Joe Biden at 19%, Pete Buttigieg at 16%, and Elizabeth Warren at 15%.

Suspicions have been raised regarding the connections between Shadow (the firm hired by the Iowa Democrat Party

by ACRONYM, a nonprofit corporation founded in 2017 by Tara McGowan … McGowan, 34, is married to Michael Halle, a senior strategist for Pete Buttigieg’s presidential campaign”. The New York Times further reports that all of Shadow’s senior executives worked for the Hillary Clinton campaign in 2016 (their website apparently made it unclear who their senior executives were), that Shadow and ACRONYM share the same street address in Washington D.C., and the chair of the Iowa Democratic Party celebrated their birthday with McGowan the Sunday before the caucuses. Despite apparent conflicts of interest, no evidence has been produced which shows impropriety on behalf of any of the parties involved in managing the caucuses.

The caucus night of February 3rd itself was a debacle. The final totals of the Iowa caucus were not released until February 6th (and the first official results not until 24 hours after vote tallying began), with a glitch in the app produced by Shadow getting the blame. The glitch apparently caused errors in reporting the vote totals from the precincts to the party headquarters. This led to a delay in which party staffers (from the precincts and headquarters) manually re-checked and computed the vote totals into the party database.

HOW TO KEEP UP GOOD READING HABITS DESPITE UNI TRYING TO DRAIN YOUR WILL TO READ AWAY

By Ella Somers

USE THE LIBBY, BY OVERDRIVE APP

Hands down the number one thing you need to do if you want to keep better reading habits this year is download the Libby, by OverDrive app! Libby will change your reading life just like it changed mine last year. A particular godsend to people that are always on the go, AKA the average uni student, and also because the average uni student has their phone attached to some part of their body at all times, otherwise we cease to exist. The Libby app is completely FREE and all you need to do is log on with your Christchurch Cities Libraries card number and password before you’re given access to thousands of ebooks and audiobooks. Very easy to use and also means you don’t have to break the bank on Amazon and Audible to get your bookish fix, Libby is 99% likely to have whatever you’re wanting to read, plus more. Saved me so much money last year AND made me read heaps more books than I would’ve been able to without it.

MAKE A GOODREADS READING GOAL

This works if you’re super competitive like me or can’t be arsed at all (also like me). You just have to create a Goodreads account (it’s free!) and then you can set a reading goal to any number you like. Every book you read goes toward your goal

and Goodreads informs you if you’re ahead or behind your reading goal which can be helpful if you need a kick up the arse to keep on track. Nothing feels like a higher achievement than when you pass your reading goal however big or small it is, feels like getting an assignment back which you thought you’d failed and seeing you got an A+ on it instead.

READ ON YOUR COMMUTE

Bus? Read on the bus instead of scrolling through that influencer’s life on Instagram that you’ll never have or catching up on the latest AITA on Reddit. Bike? Listen to a gripping audiobook to block out the abuse being thrown at you from arsehole drivers. Drive? You can power through a good chunk of an audiobook while you’re stuck in traffic for ten excruciating hours in the morning. Reading on your commute is a really easy way to get some reading in, especially if you’re a super busy person who just doesn’t have the tImE to read. Also, audiobooks absolutely count as reading, don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise because they’re talking bullshit.

READ WHAT YOU LOVE

I recommend trying new genres to spice up your reading life but I really encourage you to immerse yourself in what you love to read the most. This helps make reading something to look forward to and not make it feel like a chore! Reading is supposed to be enjoyable and if you’re not finding reading enjoyable, the right book/genre hasn’t found you yet. Read My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite or Sadie by Courtney Summers if you’re craving thriller vibes; Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti if you want a poetry kick; The Little Library Year by Kate Young or Pirate Hunters by Robert Kurson if you’re into reading memoirs and nonfiction; or Act Like It by Lucy Parker if you’re in the mood for something light and fluffy. Goodreads and Libby also have heaps of lists for whatever reading mood you might want to dip your eyeballs in!

GO TO A BLOODY LIBRARY

Actually GOING into a library is sometimes the best way to make you keep up an enthusiasm for literature that isn’t frantic skimming for your thousandth assignment. Spending a few minutes to an hour in a library (uni libraries do not count, don’t @ me) and pursuing the shelves for books that catch your eye can be really relaxing and a good way to push uni out of your brain for a while before you’re back to the uni grind.

It can be really easy to feel like university has swallowed your whole identity and so when it comes to something like reading for enjoyment, the enthusiasm for it can feel pretty low. Especially if you’ve fallen into the habit of only reading when you’re frantically trying to find quotes for that essay due tomorrow or you’ve got three weeks of important lecture readings to catch up on. Or maybe you’re just the average tired student and the idea of picking up a book for your own enjoyment can be as exciting as getting more questions than expected in an exam. But! Reading outside of uni is really good for you and when uni tries to drain that enjoyment away, you need to fight back. So here are some tips to help keep up good reading habits during the uni year.

You’re young, you’re dumb, and you’re full of cum. You’ll start by doing your readings every week, and by, well... week two... you’ll have irreversibly shattered that habit. Want to know the secret to getting through uni with minimal stress? DO. YOUR. READINGS. WHEN. THEY’RE. ASSIGNED. Having graduated last year, I’m still 5 years behind on my readings... Having said that, don’t let my surviving without doing readings excuse your budding, similar behavior. I reserve the right to be the exception, proving the rule or otherwise notwithstanding.

Cheers, Asher.

A LETTER TO MY FIRST YEAR SELF

Hi, I’m L-J, and now going into my fifth year of study (Masters now, what!?), here’s some advice for my first-year self. You’re living at home with your mum and dad this year. Your friends are having a super exciting time moving out and into the big wide world of student accommodation, but for you and a lot of people, living in a hall just isn’t an option, whether it be you live really close to uni, can’t stretch it financially, just not being that kind of person or any other reason.

Your experience will be a bit different, but you’re not missing out at all just because you’re staying at home. Just like anything living at home is going to have its ups and downs but stick it out, you’ll be really glad you did. Personally, I loved living at home sure, it was trying at times, but I felt like I got the best of both worlds - my parents were really supportive

of my studies + I went to parties and BYOs, and afterwards got to come home to a fully stocked kitchen, dinner and clean laundry. Going into first year I was so excited, I was starting my degree in Industrial Design, and did some courses in Geology and Religious Studies… because why not? if you can, do some exciting electives, meet some people with unlike minds and find new passions!

Always ask your classmates for help and bounce ideas off of each other, I made the most amazing friends some of whom I’m now living with. In class don’t be afraid to ask questions! Your lecturers and tutors are there to help so just ask, and by doing this you’ll make great relationships with staff which will be very useful in the future! Sometimes you may feel a bit awkward or lonely or lost, remember that everyone is in the same boat and feels same way now and then (even in their fifth year), look out for the people around you as well as yourself and have fun! And PS you definitely won’t regret living at home when you see the how much money you’ve saved.

I’m Andy, I’m just finishing my fourth year of Software Engineering and here are a couple of nuggets I thought would be useful to a budding young first year!

This is your opportunity to start FRESH. There aren’t many times in your life when such an opportunity arises. Make the most out of it! University surrounds you with like-minded people, who most likely will become friends for life. Hell, my close mates (my bloody ride or dies), literally all went to my hall, the majority of which were on my floor! And each year I have expanded that friend group, meeting new people through my papers and through different friend groups, now to a point where now I have contacts literally all over the country and across the globe!

If you don’t like a paper, mean! Change the paper! This isn’t NCEA anymore where you are locked in for a yearly contract with some dusty classroom and some boring af teacher. Take control of ya life girl! You are the master of your own destiny! When I decided to pick Software Engineering, I literally made the call and submitted the application, with 20 minutes before the deadline to change courses closed. And I never looked back. Best decision of my life. Could you imagine? Me? A Mechanical Engineer? Psssh. I just went with my heart and it paid off, and now I’m moving overseas to take a grad Job in London! Not too bad hey! But as I say, just change if you want to! And that applies to everything at Uni.

Do not feel intimidated by others who say they are ‘studying’ all the time - live a little girl! If you wanna go have a night out at the Foundry, go do it! University is a time for living and learning, and now, I reminisce on those wild first year nights, going out on Thursday and Saturday and just having the time of my life. Meeting SO many new people every day and night, and experiencing so many new things every minute.

Speaking of meeting people, if you are tentative about going into the halls, look no further. GO INTO THE HALLS IN FIRST YEAR. Even if you are a Christchurch local, my GOD. How often can you say that every day when you wake up, you open your door, and 15 other bright-eyed, energised and excitable humans are staring right back at you, where all it takes is a “Shall we?” and the most unreal, unbelievable and just down-right fun events unfold. Boy if I could do it all again, I would not hesitate. So, do it!

Talking of first year, first year is structured well so that you can learn your papers through all of the various weekly quizzes, assignments, well-laid out lecture notes (especially the ones that you fill in during the lecture (which is most of them!)), labs, and there’s so much! The further you go through uni though, the more the training wheels come off, the bigger the assignments get, and the less help you have at your disposal. So make the most of those opportunities to learn, and know that, especially in first year, lecturers are there to help you and the papers are designed to be structured and easy to learn.

Furthermore, make the most of every opportunity. I bet you would have heard this 1,000 times, but you just got to do it. “Oh yo, that board riding club has that JIB thing on, my brother said it was sick, yo we should totally go” “Oh i dunno, like my sister said it wasn’t as good as everyone says it was” *in steps Andy* *proceeds to throw said girl out the window* *looks at said guy* “Shall we?” And the carnage begins. It’s times like those, where we just picked a random night and just went and did something new and fun, which I will hold onto forever as some of the best times ever. So, I highly recommend doing the same.

Finally, this is a time of you figuring out who you want to be. Sure, you come out on the other side with a degree, but the product of this whole experience isn’t just a piece of paper, it’s the person who comes out on the other side. It’s you. And boy, there will be some tough times. University really pushed me to my limits, limits that I didn’t even know existed, but it also allowed me to understand who I am as a person and where I want to be in life, who I want to surround myself with, what kind of job I want to get, and ultimately, how I can be the best Andy I could be. Just being me. :) P.s. hope u enjoy the photo from 1st year! (Toga party, what a time!)

Having finally reached our goal to study history honors I have a few pointers for your undergraduate journey:

When it comes to socializing, you need to put yourself out there even though it makes you anxious; because as it turns out your new friends will be feeling the same way.

When it comes to studying do not be afraid to approach your tutors and lecturers with your questions; because forming relationships with them will help you develop as you progress through your degree.

When it comes to your mental health, nothing is more important; honest communication about how you are doing with those who care will keep you happier in the long run, even if it is the hardest thing to say.

Well, that’s it, just remember that this has been your dream, so live it and have fun doing it.

From 2020 Christiana

Your Food Fix on

Campus

CHILTON’S:

The Undercroft convenience store. Lined with fridges full of drinks, it’s one of the easier places to grab a snack between classes. You know you’re a UC student when you loiter around Chiltons at the end of the day in hopes of getting a pie for half the price.

REBOOT:

Erskine’s café. Has similar food to the likes of Café 101 and Café 1894.

MIX CAFÉ:

Meremere’s all-in-one café. Has a wide menu of both hot and iced drinks. Criminally underrated.

CAFÉ 1894:

A cosy café at the end of the Undercroft. Known for good coffees. Provides those warm fuzzy vibes while being right next to the vending machine alleyway, rubbish bins, and often a bustling Undercroft.

FOOD TRUCKS:

Home to on-campus icons such as Souvlaki Man and the occasional energy drink promotion.

UNDERCROFT

Food Court: Sits at the heart of campus. The Burg’s menu of burgers and fries are well-known, but not as famous at the neighbouring Wok’s $2 $3 rice. Finally, The Greek serves super tasty souvlakis and salads.

ANCESTRAL:

Situated in Rutherford, Ancestral is known for its bubble tea / boba, its Asian cuisine, and the long lines that form hourly with the rhythm of lecture times.

THERAPY CAFÉ:

One of the newer kids on the block, but certainly holds its own in Rehua. Has a unique menu including banh mi sandwiches

NUTS AND BOLTS:

The heart of the Engineering Core. Great food, staff, and coffee. Options for all diets. Has tenfold earnt its place at the top of most “Where to eat at UC” lists. The best hot chips for value around.

FOUNDRY:

They’ve been watering UC students for years, and now they’re open in Haere Roa 8.30am til late during term time. The Foundry Feed deals are worthwhile and have a growing vegetarian menu.

SHILLING CLUB:

One of the bougier places on-campus. Don’t be surprised to see staff and postgrads meeting there over large white plates of chips or loaded wedges. Like heaps of other places, don’t forget your V-Plate!

CAFÉ 101:

The psychology building’s café, complete with ample seating and a pie rack often empty (which is only a testament to the lunch rush it brings in). One of the best places for coffee on campus. Fairtrade coffee as well!

DON’T FORGET TO SUNBLOCK YOUR EARS!

By: George Stilwell and Thomas Galbraith

If you go to the beach during summer, it is pretty well established that you should wear sunblock, duh! Without it, you risk sunburn and worse, permanent skin damage. Well, if you attend music gigs, you’ve got to protect your ears too. Inside your ears are highly sensitive and delicate cell structures that are easily damaged by intense sound impulses or sustained exposure at high levels. This type of damage is referred to as noiseinduced hearing loss (NIHL). Like a bad sunburn, the severity of the damage increases with both the intensity and duration of the event.

Why is this relevant and why should you care? Measured in decibels (dB), the sound intensity at which permanent damage is caused, is known to be continuous (around 30min) exposure at 85dB. You can look up the intensity of common noises if you’re interested, but we want to bring your attention to the fact that music gigs are doing serious damage to our ears.

Over the past year we have taken

sound measurements at basically every popular gig venue and bar in town (best research assignment ever?!) and we are yet to measure less than 85dB during the height of the night. We’ve even seen Monos start at around 86dB and finish over 107dB. That means permanent damage is caused after being in there for TEN minutes!

the sound integrity. These earplugs are usually called ‘High Fidelity Ear Plugs’ and cost around $20-$40. A small price to pay compared to permanent ringing in your ears and hearing aids down the track! These plugs will last you years too. You can also get skin coloured and low-profile ones, so other people can’t even tell you are wearing them.

The initial symptoms of NIHL is a perceived ringing noise in either one or both ears. This ringing may be constant or come and go. This is known as ‘Tinnitus’. Once you get it, you’ve got it for life. From there you’ll join Tom and many other gig-goers who will unfortunately never enjoy silence again and will likely need hearing aids before retirement.

So, what can you do to protect your ears? Good quality earplugs can be found at any music store such as the Rockshop or Music Planet. These earplugs are designed to reduce the sound intensity evenly across the frequency spectrum, decreasing the volume but preserving

If you forget earplugs some of your local favourites have got you covered with single use plugs; at Hide and Slateroom they’re around $3. Unfortunately, not all venues offer earplugs - let’s hope they catch a glimpse of this article!

As DJs, all round music enthusiasts and frothers for the sound of a double drop through ridiculously large subwoofers, we don’t want to advocate for clubs to turn the volume down - it is loud to ensure the whole crowd gets a good experience. Like taking sunscreen to the beach on a sunny day, it is on you, the attendee, to protect yourself.

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR STUDENT SERVICES LEVY IN 2020

by Ella Somers

Thanks to the Fees Free gods’ blessing me with their favour, I didn’t have to pay for any of my university fees last year, including the mystical unicorn that is the Student Services Levy, more commonly known as the ‘SSL’. Even though the UC website describes the SSL as, “your money - your benefits”, I spent a lot of 2019 not really having much of a clue of what those benefits were and how to get as much out of them as I possibly could. This year, as that sweet Fees Free bubble has burst and I’m left with the responsibility of paying for all my university fees including the mystical SSL unicorn, I’m determined to get as much out of the SSL as I can. So I’m here to share some of the most important FREE and heavily subsidised things you can get through the SSL and why they’re worth checking out. It’s important that UC students (and especially first years!) take advantage of these things because you’ve paid the SSL fees so you’re entitled to wring as much out of it as you can!

1.) Student Advisors.

The number one thing I recommend to students everywhere no matter where you’re at in your studies, is if you’re struggling with anything to do with your degree, GO AND SEE A STUDENT ADVISOR. I didn’t start looking for help with my course and degree struggles until I was desperate and ready to quit uni and I really wish I’d known about going to a Student Advisor earlier. Student Advisor appointments are FREE and they can offer advice on any course and degree question or worry

you have. If you’re not happy with the courses you’re taking and want advice on what courses you should take instead or if you’re fed up to the back teeth with your degree and you need to change something otherwise you’re ready to drop out, go see a Student Advisor. If you’ve got questions on how you can graduate more quickly and if pulling out of a course will affect your degree or student allowance, Student Advisors are there to help. If you’re unsure, unhappy or curious about ANYTHING course or degree related, they can help you figure out what’s not working and provide suggestions on what might fit or suit you better. The best thing I did at uni last year was to go and see a Student Advisor as I’m so much happier at uni now!

2.) Academic Skills. It really surprised me last year how many people either didn’t know that Academic Skills existed or were too embarrassed to go and get their work looked at. But PLEASE, go to Academic Skills at least once this year! You’re allowed up to ten 40-minute appointments with a Learning Advisor per year or you can pop in for a 10-minute chat between 11am and 2pm, Monday to Friday. All appointments with a Learning Advisor are FREE as well! If anything, it’s a pair of fresh new eyeballs on your work and when you’ve reread your essay a thousand and one times, it can be really, really helpful to have someone else look over it and tell you (nicely) what is and isn’t working. Academic Skills also offer free workshops covering everything from essay writing to exam prep to

everything in between which might be helpful to check out.

3.) UCSA Dental and Health Centre. Now that going to a dentist can average at about the cost of getting a mortgage on an imaginary house I’ll never be able to afford in real life because the housing market is broken, I’m making it a priority to squeeze the hell out of the cheaper UCSA Dental services this year. Also take advantage of the Health Centre which offers cheap-to-free GP services as well as free counseling.

4.) RecCentre. The RecCentre is free for all UC students because of the SSL! And look I feel you, gyms are not my favourite place either but a free gym membership is too good of an opportunity to waste. They have heaps of free group fitness classes on offer to tempt even the most reluctant of gym goers, free Learn to Gym sessions and lots of other free services on offer too.

5.) UC Careers. You can book a FREE appointment with a Career Consultant and chat about anything from your career goals, how to prepare for a job interview, working overseas or anything else related to your future or current career that’s on your mind. They also offer CV and LinkedIn Drop-ins sessions which could be really helpful if you’re looking to brush up on those things. UC Careers also have heaps of online resources if you’re looking for some quick answers to any burning questions you have as well.

LIAM’S LISTS

by Liam Donnelly

FILM AND TELEVISION:

‘Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker’ sucked.

‘Cats: The Movie’ scarred its viewers, converted some into furries.

A movie based on the novel ‘Little Woman’ was released, the eighth adaptation of this book to hit the big screen. However, this adaptation has Timothée Chalamet in it, so therefore is the best adaptation.

The thirteenth, and first female, Doctor Who returned for her second season. Continuing a long heritage of an incredibly bizarre and stupid TV show.

The First Temptation of Christ (Especial de Natal Porta dos Fundos: A Primeira Tentação de Cristo) is released on Netflix. A film about Jesus returning home to see his family on his 30th birthday, while struggling to find the courage to introduce his boyfriend, Orlando, to his relatives.

Season 1 of The Witcher is released. I’ve got no clue what’s going on, but what I do know is that Henry Cavill is H.O.T

WEIRD/FUNNY:

The current pope and the old pope had a squabble over the topic of priestly celibacy for no reason.

World’s funniest looking plane, Airbus Beluga XL, enters service at long last.

Ricky Gervais savagely rips into a bunch of celebrities whilst hosting the 2020 Golden Globes, and called James Corden a fat pussy lol.

James Corden is a fat pussy lol.

SAD:

The world’s oldest rhinoceros, Fausta, dies in Tanzania at the age of 57. Rest in peace, sweetie.

Harry and Meghan step down from royal duties, this is supposedly a controversial move, until you realise the monarchy do nothing fucking useful.

Kevin Spacey releases a second Christmas video, this time in front of a fire place. It’s equally as disturbing as the first one. I am pretty sure he thinks he’s still Frank Underwood

While we were all off campus, the world kept spinning and things kept happening. So, here’s a whole list of random things that happened over the university break listed in no particular order:

POLITICS:

Donald Trump gets impeached.

Donald Trump flops his dick around while trying to cause World War 3.

The world was introduced to a new youngest serving state leader, 34 Year Old Sanna Marin of Finland.

Northern Ireland gave a thumbs up to marriage equality.

Boris Johnson’s Conservative Party wins the UK Election, leading them closer to the hellscape that is Brexit.

The hellscape that is Brexit actually happens

Hong Kong has lots of protests because their freedom is under threat.

France has lots of protests because the French are French.

The Dutch government drops the moniker “Holland”, meaning the country will only be referred to by its official name, the Netherlands.

Palau becomes the first country in the world to ban sun cream that is harmful to corals and sea life.

CRIME:

Former Sudanese President, Omar al-Bashir, is sentenced to two years detention for corruption.

Former Pakistani President, Pervez Musharraf, is sentenced to death for high treason.

Former CEO of Nissan, Carlos Ghosn, flees Japan inside an audio equipment box to avoid charges of false accounting.

Chinese Biophysics researcher, He Jiankui, controversial creator of the first genome-edited babies, was sentenced to three years imprisonment for illegal medical practice.

CLOSER TO HOME:

Australia burned.

Scott Morrison forced a lot of handshakes.

A whole lot of Australians got shitty that Jacinda Ardern went there for a holiday.

A whole lot of Australians signed a petition calling for Jacinda Ardern to be their Prime Minister.

Australia was clearly very confused.

EVEN CLOSER TO HOME:

Whakaari erupts. Why the fuck an active volcano was an open and accessible tourist site we’ll never know.

Bay Dreams Nelson didn’t suck this time.

Birkenstocks didn’t quite become all the rage this summer.

Legendary Christchurch busker, Kelven Scott, passed away, aged 57. Cathedral square will miss his mighty vocals.

A mail-out sent to some Tasman District Council residents about a planned water shutdown accidentally began “Dear Cunt”.

MP Nicola Willis releases TikTok video from Young Nats convention. It’s 15 seconds of cringe and serves as a great reminder that National Party is made up of people who are questionably human.

HOW TO SURVIVE UNIVERSITY

Well it’s the start of the year and it wouldn’t be the first CANTA of the year without giving out some questionable advice on how to get through the next two semesters. I myself have been here far too long and have done both irreparable damage to my brain and my body. So, let’s just say I know exactly what I’m talking about when prioritising the kind of information you should know for surviving uni.

So, without further ado, here’s some advice to ensure you do university right.

Advice For The Newbies

No matter how much you think it’s not happening to you, you will put on weight and get thicc this year. Do some exercise occasionally.

Half your lecturers wrote that textbook they insist is vital to completing the paper.

If you haven’t spent your free $1000 yet, spend it on whatever you like. Treat yo’self.

Over the coming years, you will play lots of drinking games. Respect the house rules when you’re playing at another flat. However, the exception to this rule are College House students. NEVER let them convince you their rules are standard, they never are and are always extremely stupid rules.

Hang around on campus, even when you don’t have lectures. You’ll be amazed by all the random stuff that goes on around campus.

Your high school experiences are no longer important. Don’t wear your leavers’ jersey. The more you reminisce the more likely high school will have become your peak in life.

Get a LinkedIn account. You don’t really need it yet but establish it now because you’ll want a good account by the time you need it.

Join some clubs so you have friends.

Join the UCSA Noticeboard on Facebook, it’s like a virtual village.

Respect the mosh. If you can’t find a space, tough fucking luck. Do NOT push in! Moshes are for dancing intensely, not pushing people intensely.

Nitro Coffee from The Shilling Club is actual the shit.

Cover your stump before you hump, it’ll be sweeter if you wrap your peter. Encase that torch before you paint the porch. House your noodle, then release your strudel. Blanket old juicy, then plug old loosey. Put a condom on, you get the point.

Advice For The Returnies:

Yeah, you’re back. Suck it up.

Everyone please choose to run for the UCSA Elections this year, make your campaign intentionally weird and stupid. That way we can finally get out of this rut of shit and boring elections.

Get a LinkedIn account if you don’t already have one. They make you feel important.

If you’re flatting for the first time, respect your carpets. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

I don’t know, I’m out of ideas. You’re on your own.

These survival tips were brought to you by CANTA’s new online survival guide. ‘CANTA’S University Survival Guide: How to Guides for Everything, Ever’ is the best online resource a student could ever need. At canta.co.nz you can find tips and step-by-step guides to every scenario a student could possibly face, inside the lecture hall and out. Go to the website and check it out now!

CENTREFOLD

CENTREFOLD

For the “Mature” students

by Sharna Beach

UC considers you an “adult student” if you begin study after the age of 20. I think that is a little bit unfair, considering I still do not feel that I qualify as an “adult” at the age of 28. But I digress –

I was never interested in tertiary study when I was preparing to graduate high school. Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and if you didn’t know by age 18 then that’s it, right? I enrolled at the University of Canterbury at age 22, and after a few false starts I settled into my B.A. studies, graduating last year (and yes, Arts is a real degree).

While I never considered myself an “adult”, I definitely noticed a difference when I compared myself to those younger than me (presumably those just out of high school). This feeling has been superbly put by another fellow adult student: “I felt like I wasn’t old enough to be a ‘mature’ student so didn’t get help or acceptance there, but I was still not young enough to be accepted by the youths.” Being “inbetweeny” like this can feel awkward, and I definitely struggled to find my niche (still don’t have one).

The university culture, I found, is very different from what I remembered from high school. Another adult student observed that some of the younger students “had no clue about the real world. This was seen most noticeably in class discussion where they would be too scared of being wrong.” Looking at

it this way, I think that studying after the age of 20 has certain advantages: I definitely found I was more perceptive when it came to considering the content of lectures. Uni lectures are totally different from high school classes, and I don’t think I would’ve coped if I hadn’t had some time off in between the two. Another adult student agreed, as they were “a lot more motivated and focused… no way would have had the attention span needed as a high school [leaver].”

Being a student is hard work. Being an adult is hard work. And we all have different experiences of both. Just as it is unfair to assume that all students are fresh out of high school, it is also inaccurate to assume that all “mature” students (over 20) are all the same, with all the same needs.

My undergraduate career was a lonely struggle, to be perfectly honest. Turns out, though, UC does offer a bunch of Support Services available for all students, including some that may be of particular benefit to older students, such as:

Age-appropriate mentors for your first year at the University.

The Adult’s Student s’ Programme: a four tutorial series to help adult students get into the flow of University study and life.

Day-care on Campus for those of us with miniature humans.

A space known as “The Living Room” for Postgraduate students.

Heaps of UCSA Clubs that cater for a wide range of interests, and are open to all students no matter your age or study level.

However, just like the inescapable “Time Table Clash,” trying to coordinate study, a job, and any other commitments you may have on top of these can be a little tricky. One adult student I know described their experience with an adult student group as “too much of a hassle”, which sucks. Another student has said the mentoring groups were “a good way to get to know other mature students, but [not] super useful for study directly.”

No matter what age you are, no matter

if you are a new or returning student, studying later in life can be an awesome and rewarding experience. As one adult student said: “I have absolutely no regrets about studying a bit later in life, if anything I feel as if I’ve improved my chances of success in doing so.” I tend to agree. But to end this piece on a big fat cliché: If you are struggling, reach out to somebody, anybody you feel comfortable with. This could be a UC Staff member, a parent, sibling, friend, pet, counselor, uber driver, and so on.

Being an adult student can be tough, but it doesn’t have to get you down.

When you stay with the Ilam Backpackers, conveniently located in the heart of Ilam, you will enjoy free wifi, and complimentary parking, but bring your own damn coffee. (BeaNZ must be presented upon entry)

Wake up to morning meditation and yoga, followed by a hearty, fibrous breakfast of BeaNZ.

Spend the day on an outdoors mish, navigating the slopes and waterways of Canterbury, before returning to the caravan for some communal goon, and alternative medicines.

Further on in the evening make your way to Newe, Orio’s van, complete with one beautiful Swedish man for some sensual Swedish massage. (Note: Orio is not a qualified masseuse)

There are so many different flats to choose from when selecting your couchsurfing experience. We’ve made it easy for you: choose the IlamBackpackers.

Hotel? Trivago.

“I’m so proud of this community”

How do you take your beans?

Luke: With porridge

Do you even tramp bro?! This dreamy stargazer studies astrology (Astronomy? Nah, definitely astrology). Holds his alcohol right to the end, but when the end arrives, he can be found as the last man standing (?) in the MONO portaloos. A true lover of white rhinos he can often be found either skinning up your local white powder or providing sendy couch surfers with a bed.

“Those Sharks are dangerous”

Rob: On chips

Surf, ski or kayak? This sturdy, studious boi called himself a skier until he actually became one. Until his days of worship at Temple Basin this post grad used to hold the position of flat sugar daddy, but has since learned that a degree in financial engineering cannot prepare you for the expenses of the outdoor send. Previously an appreciator of all music, he has since learned that he dislikes German Techno, especially when played from dusk til dawn for a week straight (Thanks Marius). Btw not all of him is Asian.

“You know how everyone calls you Asian Rob?” “Well, No…”

FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS FLAT FAMOUS

Orio (Live Bait):

Raw dog, straight outta the can. There are many fish in the sea, and the best way to catch them is live bait. On a night out this surprisingly reserved, stunning Swedish sex symbol is known to forget his powerful allure and hide in bathrooms when overwhelmed with admirers. (Did we say he was pretty?). This head (and orientation) turner pays rent in perishable goods.

“That’s four, not including doctors”

Anzac: On cheese

This student of the send is a real snack (insert biscuit joke here). This fun loving, charismatic mumma’s boy is a true worshipper of the white pow and the sea froth. DJ Vibe-Check has never been seen to cook a meal, but rumour has it he’s just waiting on his mum to send through her palak paneer recipe (It’ll be here soon). A well-travelled zoologist of the Christchurch wildlife, this token fresher staff member has truly embraced the bean eating culture.

“So…uhh…Uber Cheats?”

Archer: On hash browns w/ Spiced eggs

Meet the yarn-spinning, back-breaking, whitewater kayaker extraordinaire. This Goon Slap Guru loves a good wet and wild mish with the UCCC crew or other. Instigator of caravan lock-ins, and hoster of good times, his luscious locks are full of kindness. Greatly enjoys his foreign cuisine and loves experiencing other cultures via Ilam Apartments.

*opens drink*

Megs:

Chilled in the fridge. Shotgun from the can. The OG beanlicker. This vego loves a few snags on a night out (food only). Megsie is the token female of the flat, but is far from being the flat mum. Sometimes found discovering previously extinct types of weta part way up multipitches, this muff-diving todger-dodger is often known to disappear into her room for regular skype sessions to her American sweetheart. Number one sketch artist and serial hitchhiker, this up for anything badass loves cuddles from all over the world.

*Skype noises?*

FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS FAMOUS

PHOTO CRED: JAVA KUTZAR

COLUMNS

Neighbour vs Netflix

Spanky Moore

Howdy. My name’s Reverend Spanky. I’m the Chaplain round campus, and so on behalf of God I’d like to welcome you to Canterbury Uni.

Loads of the students I talk to tell me that one of their deepest longings is to find a “real community” to belong to while studying. But scratch a little below the surface a bit, and it becomes obvious that most of us find that much harder to do in practice. Because being part of any community comes at a cost. “Sure, I want all the benefits of being in a community… but only when I feel like it, and when it suits me.”

And so, lots of us end up staying at home watching Netflix, rather than going to hang out with real life people. We start to feel lonely. And after a while some of us even start to feel a social anxiety about hanging out with people, because we’re out of practice, or because we had a bad experience one time.

But let me encourage you to be brave and seize these first few weeks as you begin this year at UC this year! If you find yourself becoming a home-body, or a screen-queen, or a lone-gamer – maybe you should push yourself to seize these precious University moments.

Hanging out with people is like any other skill – it takes practice, and the more you do it, the better you become. And there really are so many great people at UC to meet this year – Over 15,000 of them! They could be in the Ultimate Frisbee club, or at a Mono gig, or even sitting next to you at the Library. So why not take a punt, say hello to your neighbour, and enjoy the joy that can only come from interacting with a real-life human being.

How to Sustain Well-being at Uni

UCSA Advocacy & Welfare Team

Welcome to 2020 at the University of Canterbury! Here are a few groups around uni that can help you:

Health Centre: Doctors and counsellors are available at the Health Centre for a subsidised price. https:// www.canterbury.ac.nz/healthcentre/

Academic Skills Centre: There are a wide range of workshops available to help you succeed with your studies. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/support/asc/

Recreation Centre: The Rec Centre provides gym equipment, group classes, and social sport games. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/ucreccentre/

Student Care Team: A friendly and supportive team who also have connections with other key support services on campus. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/ support/needtotalk/student-care/

UCSA Advocacy & Welfare: The A & W Team are here to offer support for academic appeals, special consideration applications, and grievances. They also offer financial help for unexpected circumstances. https://ucsa.org.nz/student-support/advocacywelfare/

Student Mentoring: A student mentor can be a huge help for people new to UC. Student mentors are also students at UC and they can help introduce you to university life. https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/ support/get-support/new/mentoring-programmes/

UC Staff: Please talk to your lecturers and tutors if you have any questions or if something is affecting your study. It is best to do this early on if possible to prevent an issue from getting bigger.

Creating a culture of sustainability at UC

This may be news to some of you (but hopefully not all…) but UC has a Sustainability Office! We’re an on-campus hub for students, staff and groups interested in how they can create positive change, both on campus and in their own lives. Our office organises events, helps communicate pathways for change and promotes sustainable practices at UC. We also do heaps of awesome (and challenging) work on waste management and minimisation, biodiversity, waterways, fair trade and ethical supply chains, cycling and sustainable transport infrastructure, our carbon journey and we also manage two community gardens on campus. I mean, sometimes it feels like all we do is harp on about how much we hate single use takeaway coffee cups but hey….

Seriously though, one of the roles of the Sustainability Office is to foster a culture of people prepared to make a difference. How do we do it? Part of this has been the growth of a sustainability community on campus. We welcome all of you to be a part of it, no matter where on your personal journey you are. We’d love to have you visit us in Waiutuutu Community Garden to join a working bee and grow organic veges, attend one of our sustainability events or workshops, get on your bike more days than not, join a student club like UC For Climate and learn about what our world needs from you, or sign up a an Eco Volunteer and deliver sustainability projects with us. We welcome all of you (and your reusable cups) to become a part of the sustainability culture here. It

really is for everyone. And we can’t wait to meet you (come and see us at Clubs Days next week!)

Love, UC Sustainability

Ps. Follow along and get involved with groovy green happenings on campus! Check out @UC Sustainability Community on Facebook, slide into our dms @ucsustain on Instagram, email us on sustainability@canterbury. ac.nz or check out our website www.canterbury.ac.nz/life/ sustainability.

W ho A re Y ou ?

B y C hristiana t aigel

D o you remember …

o ur winter morning walks .

w hen our breath

C ame out ,

i n white puffy streams …

D o you remember …

h ow i sai D , w e were like s teamboats .

a n D you sai D , w e were like a log burning firepla C e .

D o you remember …

h ow we laughe D

a n D laughe D …

o ur breath , C oming out ,

i n white puffy streams …

D o you remember …

h ow i sai D ,

w e were like ,

t he C aterpillar

f rom a li C e in w on D erlan D .

t he C aterpillar who spoke

w ith white puffy wor D s ;

w ho … a re … y ou …

If you have a poem or a piece of creative writing, send it to editor@canta.co.nz for the chance to be featured !

PRESIDENT’S PIECE

Kia

Ora, Hello, Nĭ hăo, Talofa Lava and Sup Team!

If you’re new to campus, welcome to UC! We’re very lucky to have you on board with us and I’m so confident you are going to enjoy your time here. If you’ve come back for another round or been here over the summer studying, welcome back!

The UCSA, if you haven’t heard of us, are your student representation all over campus. We’re 126 years old and we’re located over in the big building called Haere-roa by the river – better known as your home here on campus. We are also home to a crap tonne of services including dental support, most café’s and outlets on campus and the organiser of all your clubs and societies. We’ve got some pretty cool things in store for you over the year including the first O-Week held over here in Haere-roa, lectures over here in your new home, a very cool amount of club and society activities, some new services which you should definitely check out on the webby AND a very passionate and dedicated executive here to serve you.

This year, you might notice the executive in a few more spaces than you’ve seen us before. It’s really important to us that you’re getting what you need. Let us know how we’re doing and come and see us or contact us at any time.

If you are a newbie or just a need a refresher for the year, we’ve put together a ‘start to the year’ pack to get you off to the right start. That’s all from me. One behalf of your 2020 Executive, have an awesome year, and stay safe!

STARTER PACK:

• 1 Sign up to the health centre!!!! And get a community services card to make it all free!

• 2 Sign up to the V Plate app!

• 3 UC Security, in your phone now – 0800 823 637

• 4 Sign up to the Rec Centre , it’s so much more than just a gym

• 5 Keep cups means cheaper drinks!

• 6 Clubs day on the 18th & 19th of February will blow your mind

• 7 Follow UCSA, UCSA Noticeboard and @ucsa_nz to stay up to date!

• 8 Check out Haere-roa at some point (especially for mono!). It’s your home!

• 9 https://ucsa.org.nz/events/ to stay up to date with everything and get the best ticket deals.

Ngā mihi and lots of love,

Tori McNoe

KNOW YOUR DRUGS

By Sam Mythen

With the wild nights of O-Week and a full day of boogying in the gardens at Electric Ave just around the corner, there are plenty of opportunities to stay smart and safe out there. Last week I chatted about all things drugs with Wendy Allison, founder of Know Your Stuff, and Samuel Andrews, the Harm Reduction Projects Advisor of the NZ Drug Foundation.

These two organisations have been working together to educate and inform about drug use for safety and prevention since 2014, where KYS first began testing at festivals.

When it comes to the legalities of drug testing, there are a few grey areas. The Misuse of Drugs Act was written in 1975, a time where it was thought that completely prohibiting and criminalising drug use would stop people from experimenting. The Government believed that the key to reducing drug harm would be through attempting to stop drug use at all. Furthermore, Section 12 of Act criminalises anyone who allows their premises to be used for offenses against the Act, specifically drug use.

Because of this, event organisers and premise owners have been reluctant to host KYS as they are worried they will get reprimanded.

If they allow KYS on their premises, they are acknowledging that drug use is occurring and many fear this could damage their reputation.

Yet there is some positive news in the makings, Wendy pointed out that an increasing number of event organisers are understanding how important harm reduction is and the significant role they have to play in helping. This means KYS are being invited to events around the country. She said that KYS have found that there is an increasing number of people who choose to not take their drugs when they test it and it is not what they thought it was. Sam said that “testing your drugs provides you with the opportunity to think about what you are taking. Rather than taking reckless risks, you can instead make properly informed and safer decisions.”

Furthermore, the Government is currently discussing making amendments to the Act. In December last year, they commissioned an independent researcher from Victoria University of Wellington to investigate whether drug testing was effective in reducing harm from drug use.

Wendy and Sam provided a few more helpful tidbits of information:

Recommendations to stay safe out there:

1. Before using, put your glasses on, get out some pens and paper, and research what you are wanting to take. Make note of the common experiences and the common dosage. That way you can know what to expect and if you end up experiencing unusual or disconcerting effects, you know when to get help.

2. Test your drugs! We need to change the attitude, “if it gets you high, it’s good enough,” so check what you are taking. You can buy one-use kits at Cosmic and test at home. OR Know Your Stuff will be at AOD Central, 55 Ferry St from 2-7 pm on the 21st February (the day before Electric Ave). If it comes back as something unfamiliar, avoid taking.

3. Wendy recommended treating everything as if it is unknown. First, take ¼ of what you would usually take and then wait an hour to check for any negative effects. Otherwise do not take at all.

DRUGS

4. Stay hydrated. You know how they recommend one glass of water for every glass of alcohol? Well, something similar can work for drug use, keep a balanced intake of water such as one 250ml glass of water every hour, especially if you are out dancing.

5. Take regular breaks to cool down. If it is a hot day and you are outside, find some shade to sit under. Or if you are inside, head out for a breathe of fresh air now and again.

6. Think about what you are combining with your drugs. For example, drinking alcohol and taking drugs increases the risk of a negative experience. Alcohol can also mute the MDMA experience.

7. What medication are you on? Certain medications and recreational drugs can often target the same area of your brain and should be avoided taking together.

8. First time check-list: If it is your first-time taking drugs, make sure you have a sober person with you and that you are in a safe space. Festivals can be quite overwhelming with all the people, so choose either to surround yourself with a crew of friends who won’t let you down or even better, be somewhere more chill.

9. Make sure somebody you trust knows what you are doing. It is really important to look out for each other

10. If you do not feel alright, seek medical attention. They are only there to look out for you and you will not get in trouble.

A few myths to dispel:

~ Using more gear (MDMA) will rev you up and get you a bigger, better high.

Sam explained that this myth is in fact, incorrect. The serotonin released by the chemicals in MDMA which gives you the euphoric high will only release up to a certain point. After this, using more gear will only lead to more negative effects and a bigger comedown over the next few days. The key would be to use less gear and take breaks between your use. Rather than every weekend, pace it out. Going slow like this will not only save your health but will also help you save money.

~ Getting medical help could get you in trouble. Wendy reiterated to never be afraid to seek medical advice. Medics are there to help you, not to dob you in. You will not get arrested.

~ Crystals are better than pills.

This is not correct. It does not matter what form MDMA comes in, it is just as likely to be something else or way more than you bargained for. This is where testing and making safer, informed decisions play a part!

~ You can tell what a drug is by looking at it. KYS found 15 different shades of brown crystals last year and many were made of a different substance. Again, know your stuff and test it!

How you can help Know Your Stuff:

~ Keep having conversations like this with your friends about safe drug use. The more informed everyone is, the better decisions they will make. Share the information you have and let’s keep everyone safe.

~ Promote drug checking at events - call on the event organisers to host KYS.

~ Donate to KYS.

~ Volunteer with KYS at events.

~ Get political and talk about it too! The stronger public voice we have, the more likely we are to sway the government for implementing better measures for drug harm reduction.

It’s important to remember you do not need alcohol or drugs to fully celebrate or fit in. It is totally acceptable to say no and to choose not to use or drink. However, if you and your friends are choosing to use drugs, make sure you know what you are taking, inform yourself, and most importantly look out for each other. Life is all about having a heap of fun together, so find your crew and make sure you're safe.

Check your drugs, and check in on each other.

Broken News

Former UCSA President Awarded Major Prize

2019’s UCSA President, Sam Brosnahan, has received a prestigious award following his presidency.

The former President, Sam Brosnahan, received the ‘The Sam Brosnahan Award for Excellent Presidentness’ at a huge ceremony last week.

“Wow I totally didn’t see this coming.” Said the former president

Law Students Excited to be Back for New Year of Studying Uncommon Degree

UC law students are excited to be back at University for another year to study their degrees.

The small collection of students who study Law are looking forward to getting back to their lectures and to discussing law with their small community of peers.

“I’m so excited to see the few other students again” said one student “then I’m ready to slide into one of those Law Firm jobs with no difficulties at all!”

Central City Bar Baretta Ready for Another Big Year

A popular central city bar is ready for another big year of business ahead.

Baretta has been a legendary bar in Christchurch since it opened in 2013 and it hopes 2020 is its biggest year yet.

“We’ve been doing really well recently” said a Baretta spokesperson.

CANTA’s blind dates are hosted at Baretta, and it is suspected many of the successful romances are to blame for the good business.

University Free for Everyone all the Time.

UC has announced that it will now make university education free and refund everyone who has paid their 2020 fees.

A UC Spokesperson announced prior to the semester beginning that university would now be free for anyone who wants to attend.

“Education shouldn’t be expensive, we’ve decided that making heaps and heaps of profit shouldn’t be our main priority anymore.”

Aunty CANTA

How do you make it not weird when your flatmates are mad at you for sleeping with two of them??

Oh you good little slut!

There’s only one solution for an awkward problem like this! Sleep with the remaining flatmates. That way they can’t be mad anymore, and if they still are you can call them out for being hypocrites!

Aunty CANTA

Is it gay to kiss the homies goodnight?

Hi Home Boy

No not at all! A kiss merely ensures they have a good, deep sleep. What is gay is to kiss their willy goodnight, but that’s okay. That ensures they get a really, REALLY good sleep ������

Aunty CANTA

PHOTO CRED: JAVA KUTZAR, FRANCES

CHRISTCHURCH AND THE CHURCH OF DOOF

by Talisker Scott Hunter

To many, the Saturday gig is church.

It’s a CBD bar at roughly ten pm. A community has gathered, each member guided by a common purpose. Hands are grasped. Vapes are pulled. Word on the street is that tonight’s act is going to be huge.

A heavy bassline reverberates from a set of monolithic speakers. They flank headphones nestled amid dreadlocks. A figure surveys what looks to be the controls to a rocket ship - they aren’t, they’re mixing decks, but he’ll nevertheless send his passengers to space.

Outside in the alleyway, a psych major makes half a cigarette disappear before his mates’ bewildered eyes. It's a double-bill demonstration of vitality and sheer will. Soon after, they head inside. The gig’s about to begin.

Each character stands shoulder to shoulder. They face forward, atop a peak of euphoria, hands raised to heaven. The scene mirrors a similar gig the week prior, and the weekend before that. It’s a sight reminiscent of Sunday service, although with more E-cigarettes.

Drum and bass’s connotations with organised faith are many. It’s spawned an avid, mobile collection of converts that gather weekly. Each initiate seems as devoted as the last, showcasing their membership to the convent through posting, clothing, and tattoos. Gareth Heta, radio DJ, music writer, and self-described drum and bass nerd, has described it as this: a community.

Community, let alone culture, is something Christchurch residents are desperate to bring back to their central city. Over the past twenty years, the provincial town has been the scene of two out of four national tragedies. Naturally, many are eager for Ōtautahi to be the epicentre of something else for a change.

Christchurch is informally hailed as having the highest per capita drum and bass (known colloquially as DnB) listenership in the world.

When I told Gareth Heta this somewhat unbelievable statistic, he nodded his head. “That sounds about right,” he tells me. Right now, according to Heta, DnB is experiencing a massive resurgence in popularity, fueled by a young and devoted crowd of students.

DnB has flowered from a long evolutionary tree, the roots of which draw from hip-hop, raga, and dub. As a genre, it’s difficult to trace, a difficulty is partly due to mixing - the process of combining two songs to make a third, unique track. To Heta, the technological aspect has bestowed upon DJ’s the capacity to innovate and experiment in ways few other artists can. This notion is demonstrated by DnB’s diversity. From the raucous heavy drops of jump-up to the warm, analog tones of liquid; each sub-genre denotes a wildly different sound and scene.

“Drum and bass popularity comes in waves,” says Heta, explaining to me that the previous wave crested with artists like Pendulum and Ed Rush. He continues on a whistle-stop tour of the genre’s history, explaining that this first wave ended as a result of artists becoming more popular and losing their unique sound. “In shifting towards the mainstream, they abandoned the filth and lost that underground vibe that I think people just relate to.”

Set to a rolling pace of 160-180 beats per minute, the genre’s aggressive, raw, ominous tones construct notable barriers to entry for the uninitiated. If DnB were a religion, then the “filth” Heta is referring to would be its first commandment. It’s an underground, grimy, bassfaceinducing sound that separates most DnB from mainstream electronica. In short, DnB is a fast-paced genre that goes hard. To Heta, it's electronica's version of early rock metal, inviting comparisons to Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, and early Led Zeppelin.

The aggressive ugliness found in these post-industrial British rock artists is shared by many DnB DJs. Today, artists such as New Zealand’s own Upbeats, as well as Andy C, AMC, and Noisia, continue that legacy. This heavy-metal comparison is further cemented by the notion that both genres attract bluecollar crowds. “Tradies love a bit of DnB '' says Christie Kimble. Christie, Jamie Moir, and Ashleigh Rangi are co-founders of Sub180 entertainment, a local DnB promoter. All three have been organising music events in Christchurch since the age of 15. They know their way around the scene like few others my age.

Filth aside, drum and bass isn’t entirely devoid of warmth. By adding more vocals and adopting a distinctly analog sound, liquid DnB emerged as an answer to the grime. Artists like DJ Fresh pioneered this sound and soon found a temporary home on the charts. Today, artists like Hybrid Minds carry the torch.

In many ways, liquid brought the genre out of the basement and into the sun. It’s whittled down the initial barriers to entry that put off those averse to dirty drops, foghorns, and big wops.

Nevertheless, it’s DnB’s inherently grimy sound and scene that has led to the development of stereotypes.

Like all labels, these consist of an awkward mix of fact and fiction. Tom Prayoonyuang, founding member of the Christchurch-based DnB duo Catch 22, argues this: “the biggest misconception about DnB is that everyone just gets on the gear.”

“I think it’s easy to slap that druggy stereotype on young people going to gigs” adds Ashleigh. “If you look at every professional industry there are people doing drugs. That gearhead stereotype ends up tainting our culture and I don’t think it’s entirely fair.”

Ashleigh has a point. Recreational drug use isn’t exclusive to DnB enthusiasts. “Just look at Woodstock or Pink Floyd” says Jamie,“I think there’s definitely correlation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s causation.”

Nevertheless, the sordid marriage between substances like MDMA and music like EDM is well known. In the latter half of the 20th century, the mainstream appeal of both developed simultaneously. Does ecstasy make music better? Or does music make ecstasy better? Maybe both, it’s hard to tell. EDM’s open, community-centric ethos could be the result of a younger crowd that holds tolerance in higher esteem than generations prior. Or, it could result from the effects of MDMA, which makes one more social, intimate, and accepting.

Dr. Rick Doblin, founder of the Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies, noted in 2013 that it’s hard to determine what functions within the EDM scene are served by substances or by the pulsing beat, lights, and crowd. Ultimately, he describes the communal dance party as a spiritual experience with a blurred line separating the euphoria-inducing chemicals produced naturally by the brain and those sold by the gram.

It’s here, again, that the unlikely crossover between faith and DnB re-emerges. Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, a figurehead of the Jewish Renewal movement, once said: “When God saw that people, instead of turning to God, were turning to the medicine cabinet, God made himself available in the medicine cabinet.” To Doblin, ecstasy fueled EDM and religion serve the same two psychological purposes.

They’re rituals which connect us to others, and they enable us to experience a heightened sense of consciousness. Both qualities are present at the Saturday gig, neither appear inherently negative.

Nevertheless, both Gareth Heta and Rene Bell, owner of popular gig-hosting venue ‘The Slate Room,’ agree that there are dangers posed by substances. This is particularly true when their usage mixes with a distinctly kiwi binge culture that prioritises “going hard” on a night out. In many ways, the electrifying pace provided by DnB fuels this impulse, thus creating a positive feedback loop of chemicals and music.

To Rene, this cocktail is enough to set business owners, such as those of the now closed Winnie Bagoes nightclub/ pizzeria, on edge. “I don’t think drugs will ever go away” says Heta, stressing the need for more education surrounding drug safety. “Kids will always do what they want and at some point we’re powerless to stop them. All we can do is hope we can help them get through it without too many casualties.”

Ultimately, drum and bass is a diverse genre with a complicated relationship with the mainstream.

Yet, at the turn of the century, Chicago bandstands were the first public places to be desegregated by custom. Fifty years later in Nashville, Elvis Presley’s hips threatened to collapse a nation’s moral fabric. Perhaps DnB in Christchurch, of all places, is the latest incarnation of boundary-pushing music that challenges the status quo?

The only real way to find out for sure is this: Go to a gig and see for yourself.

Want a Sal’s dinner, drinks and a chance to shoot your shot in LUCKY DIP? Email editor@canta.co.nz

One Side

My flat mates were all ripping into me for about a week before this date so by the time it came I felt pretty prepared. The night of, my flat mate helped me pick an outfit, it was pretty risqué compared to my normal getup but I thought fuck it. No one I know had ever gone on a blind date before and I wasnt really sure what to expect - I had just finished watching season one of You, so was really just hoping I didn’t end up in a glass box by the end of the night.

I walked into Sals (about ten minutes late oops couldn’t find a bloody car park) and was pointed in the direction of my date sitting there at the table with wine glasses, paper plates and cutlery (loved the effort by sals). I was feeling nervous but when I saw my date I relaxed a bit, he was super nice (looking) and had a friendly smile.

We asked all of the usual first date questions where are you from, what do you study etc we actually have a lot of mutual friends and it was weird we’d never actually met AND we live on the same street...You vibes?? Na haha. He was really sweet and interested in everything I had to say, the convo flowed really easy and I felt comfortable from the get go.

The Other Side

Well to be honest I had forgotten about the date until my alarm went half an hour before I was supposed to be arriving. I feel like rushing actually helped me a bit because I didn’t really have time to stress about it. My best gears were in the wash so I was in my number twos which I was pretty cut about, but not to worry, I soldiered on.

I arrived on time which I thought would give me time to chill and stop sweating because I kinda suspected she would be ‘fashionably’ late. No surprises… she was late, but she was worth the wait! She was the stereotypical girl next door; curly hair with a fringe, glasses, sun dress and a big smile.

We started with all the usual shitty chit chat about our hometowns, degrees, and the menu. I was kinda expecting a too cool for you, stare at her phone, just there for the free food type, but I was pleasantly surprised. The convo flowed easy and she seemed just as interested as I was. The drinks and starters came out and things only got better.

She was confident and wasn’t afraid to give me shit about my opinions but was also kind and funny and wasn’t afraid to get

When it came time to order food he said that I could decide what pizza we got which was the worst mistake because I am the most indecisive person, I told him he had to and he insisted I did (I can’t remember how we actually decided in the end). He went straight in and ordered drinks though. I liked that, knows what he wants.

We got chicken wings for starters. There’s no pretty way to eat chicken wings so I just hoped for the best. The same went for the pizza, he didn’t seem to mind though and we had some giggles over dinner.

We didn’t finish the whole pizza and he suggested we give it to the homeless people he saw on the way in, that definitely earned him some points. I suggested we go and get some cocktails to finish off the night and he eagerly agreed.

Overall it was a great first date, and he left with a smile on his face the next morning.

hot sauce all over her face. I let her decide which pizza flavour we should get which was a mistake because holy shit she took forever to decide. As the date ran on I kept expecting to run into a weird deal breaker like her being super religious or one of those chicks that pretends to be a horse (not a kink shame), but it never came up.

Things continued to go smoothly with laughs and what felt like interest from both sides and when we were deep into the deserts and the tab was running thin (I checked) she asked if I wanted to continue with more drinks at a bar close by, which I eagerly agreed to.

All in all it was a lot of fun, I was not expecting to meet such a lovely human as a blind date. I went into it fully prepared to make awkward small talk while hooning down some free pizza so I didn’t have to cook – but it ended up being a great night… and morning.

PS. Im shit at drawing

HAPPY ENDING

AQUARIUS

(JAN 20 - FEB 18)

Stop fretting about what to wear for lectures! The UC uniform should do you fine until mufti-day on Friday! Woo!

ARIES

(MAR 21 - APR 19)

The reason you haven’t laughed out loud in a while is probably due to your serotonin abuse this summer

GEMINI

(MAY 21 - JUN 20)

Legend has it, if you ask the library staff nicely, no request is unfulfillable

LEO

(JUL 23 - AUG 22)

Never give up. Even if you’ve graduated, your student ID is still valid for a few more years, so you have no excuse to miss Mono. Never say never, ever.

LIBRA

(SEP 23 - OCT 22)

Don’t fear if you can’t attend the Toga Party, you old hands... with social media, it’s easier than ever to pick up freshers! On the internet, nobody knows you’ve been studying a 3 year bachelors over 4 years...

SAGITTARIUS

(NOV 22 - DEC 21)

Clubs at UC are an important part of university culture, distinguishing us from larger unis around the country with their comparably impoverished scenes. Get amongst! And after Clubs Day, don’t forget the ‘unsubscribe’ button is usually at the bottom of emails.

PISCES

(FEB 19 - MAR 20)

Know your worth. When you’re given free jandals at an O-Week event, hand them back and demand the secret fresh Converse instead.

TAURUS

(APR 20 - MAY 20)

It’s now your job as no-longer-a-fresher to inform the freshers that the idea that UC is ‘cool’, so ‘special’, and is a place where all your dreams can come true, is a lie. Show them the truth through your lived experience this term.

CANCER

(JUN 21 - JUL 22)

We use only the best in horoscopic science, and like good scientists we believe in open-source innovation. Create your own horoscopes by using the words your phone predicts for you. Look: “when you get a chance at the end of the tunnel, if you want, I will be in touch with you.” Incredible.

VIRGO

(AUG 23 - SEP 22)

Ilam fields is more than a sports ground. People bang, smoke, drink, and cry on those hallowed grounds, so, like Ilam fields, aspire to be diverse in your recreation. Also keep tidy and trim your field regularly. The people you allow to recreate upon it will be appreciative.

SCORPIO

(OCT 23 - NOV 21)

You’ve been waiting for a sign and this is definitely not it. That thing you were thinking of doing? Yeah, do or don’t, the stars are ambivalent.

CAPRICORN

(DEC 22 - JAN 19)

Don’t worry, your classmates are like spiders. They’re more afraid of you than you are of them. Also that guy in the front row definitely just ate a fly.