CANTA ISSUE 6, 2018

10 –CANTA INVESTIGATES: HOW IS THE EXEC STACKING UP?

20 – FIVE PEOPLE BARTENDERS SECRETLY LAUGH AT 32 –ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH: OMANAWA FALLS

BEN APPETIT: MIX CAFE

HOW IS THE EXEC STACKING UP? YOUR GUIDE TO “HICK-HOP” MUSIC & ARTS IN MAY PULLOUT

Poopy-di scoop

Scoop-diddy-whoop

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

Poop-di-scoopty

Scoopty-whoop

Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop

Poop-diddy, whoop-scoop

Poop, poop

Scoop-diddy-whoop

Whoop-diddy-scoop

Whoop-diddy-scoop, poop

– JOSHUA

This issue ’ s contributors

Oliver Neal Spanky Moore

Lewis Hoban Ben O’Connell

Java Katzur

Alexander Lyall Nathan James

Robert Brownlee

Letters to the Editor

Hi CANTA, Can we please talk about the heating/cooling of Eng core?

As a university that is trying to promote sustainability it seems so counterproductive to me that the windows are open and the heaters are on in Eng core 24/7?

I’ve been here slaving away on an assignment all day, and consistently the windows looking out to Creyke road are open WHILE the heaters are on... My body is confused. My feet are warm, yet my face is cold from the draft. But more importantly, how about the $$$ and scarce resources we are using to send heat straight out the window. RIP.

Can UC please practise what they preach in terms of sustainability? A bit ironic that it’s the engineering building too, SURELY we can be doing this better!!

From, Confused, Concerned and Cold

Hey Concerned and Cold, Nothing gives me angry fripple more than wasting heat like that!

We exist with almost 15k other people walking around here, some in jandals and stubbies, some in velvet capes, some in thermals and snoods and gloves and hoods. There’s bound to be someone before you or after you that’s hot, cold, shivering, wet, sweaty, or covered in rashes.

I don’t know if we can really

contain our communal areas to the point where everyone is happy.

We’ve asked Jackson from the UCSA Exec for his opinion. Jackson has worked on a lot of the sustainable efforts on campus:

“Hey confused, to be honest I am just as confused as you are. All I know is that the coal boilers have recently started cranking properly so all heaters throughout Uni will be going ham. I believe that the windows in the Core are on an automatic system to maintain CO2 & heat levels etc. The heaters however just go go go because our whole heating system is pretty geriatric. I will follow up with the Engineering department this week to see if there is anything we can do about it though! Good news is that the new UCSA building will not be using the coal heating system so we should all hang out there once that is done!”

kid from Invercargill, who thinks they don’t have a racist bone in their body, you might be right.

Stay Frosty, Anonymous

Hi Frosty Anon.

Here’s your answer, from FemSoc:

Hey Frosty, Thanks for checking out our column and giving some feedback. We considered whether to include some of the criticisms of Harvard’s test in the limited space we had, but we think it still represents an accessible starting point for thinking and talking about biases no matter what a person’s score is.

Keep up the critical thinking! FemSoc

Hi Canta,

Just a quick note on the F-word article of last week. When they recommended you take an implicit bias test they failed to mention a key pieces of information, (classic social psych, OOOO burn) one argument against them is that they are heavily influenced by novelty. The more you are exposed to a stimulus the faster you will respond to it. They’re actually pretty controversial and mostly junk pop psych at this point, until further proof of course! So don’t worry

LATIN 101

Dear Canta,

In a recent essay, I was required to use the words ‘human’ instead of ‘man’ and ‘humankind’ instead of ‘mankind’. So important was this, that an email was sent out to ensure no student made such an egregious error.

When I inquired with my lecturer

as to whether the usage of such words would impact one’s grade, I was assured that it would not. Instead, the lecturer would politely ask the student to refrain from using the words in question, and if the student did otherwise they would be marked down.

Understandably, this insistence on using non-gendered words is intended to be inclusive for persons of all genders. I suggest it is not enough.

To begin with, we should ban the use of the word ‘parent’. The word ‘parent’ derives from the Latin ‘pater’, meaning father, and as such to refer to both one’s mother and father as ‘parents’ is an enforcement of patriarchal beliefs.

Furthermore, I propose that most any word beginning in ‘vir’ be struck from the English lexicon immediately. Again, ‘vir’ is a Latin word, meaning man, from which words such as ‘virtue’ and ‘virility’ stem; the former translating literally as ‘manliness’. Thus, to call someone virtuous is one of the greatest assumptions of gender conceivable.

Finally, we shall have to find a new name for our species. I’m afraid ‘Homo Sapiens’ is also in the bad books. Once more, ‘Homo’ (not to be confused with the Greek ‘homo’, meaning ‘same’) – in this case a Latin word adopted verbatim into English – means man.

Alas, I go too far in my reasoning, for we need only observe the original taboo words to see the insufficiency of this resolve. Both ‘human’ and ‘humankind’ retain the forbidden ‘man’ and ‘mankind’ in their entirety. It is plain to see the only difference between the two sets of words is an

additional ‘hu’. Given the insistence of the change however, I can only conclude that the difference made by the prefixal ‘hu’ must be ‘ge’.

Yet I, being naught but a lowly student, and one of vastly inferior intellect to those who made this decision, must abide by the ruling of the English depart.

Yours truly, A student of the Arts.

column ‘that explicitly discusses male social issues’ - why not write it, if you want to see it? If it’s your view, your opinion, then W R I T E I T. CANTA welcomes submissions from everyone! It’s your magazine!

Here’s FemSoc, to respond again:

Dear Still Waiting,

You must have missed the part that said we all carry biases. How embarrassing. A column that discusses male social issues sounds great. It could discuss increasing male suicide rates and how the construction of masculinity and expectations about ‘manly’ behaviour are harmful to mental health.

FemSoc

Dear CANTA, I couldn’t help but notice the blatant irony of the “The F-Word” column in your 23 April issue, where the columnist discusses bias. Is she aware that they are reporting on something of which they themselves are guilty? I would assume not. Perhaps someone should tell them, so as to save them any further embarrassment.

Kind Regards, Still waiting for a column that explicitly discusses male social issues.

Okay…is it actually possible to NOT come from a bias, in some way shape or form? I don’t know. Why sit back and wait for a

We print text as it’s sent to us, therefore there will be shortened words, errors and colloquialisms and maybe even shitty opinions.

– CANTA xo

STRESS MANAGEMENT WORKSHOP

Everyone responds to stress differently. Do you relate to the following?

I feel overly tired or fatigued

I am often nervous, anxious or depressed I am experiencing sleep problems

I have repeated headaches or aches and pains I worry about exams, study, finances or relationships

This workshop is organised and presented by the UC Health Centre.

FACILITATOR: Sarah Hardie

DATES AND TIMES:

Thursday, 24 May 2018, from 1.00 pm to 1.50 pm

Wednesday, 30 May 2018, from 12.00 pm to 12.50 pm

To book in, search Stress Management Workshop on the UC website.

Even if this workshop is fully booked, it is likely there will be space on the day, so feel free to turn up.

UC RESURGENCE TO EXCEED PRE-QUAKE LEVELS

The University of Canterbury is experiencing a resurgence in popularity as school leavers from around New Zealand head to the Christchurch campus.

With 2018 enrolments for all UC students up 7% across the board on 2017 numbers to date, the University is showing growth in attracting school leavers from the Auckland, Wellington and Canterbury regions that surpasses pre-quake levels. Overall, first-year new-to-UC domestic students are up 10% on 2017, increasing by 210 students in a year.

UC Vice-Chancellor Dr Rod Carr notes the increase in enrolments includes more local school leavers choosing to remain in the city to study, as well as more students moving to Christchurch to come to UC than eight years ago.

“UC is now almost twice as popular with Auckland school leavers as it was in 2010,” he says.

“In Wellington and Auckland they’re getting the message that we already know well in Canterbury –UC is the place to be.”

The 2010 headcount of 107 Auckland school leavers has nearly doubled to 197 this year, while the 2010 headcount of 146 school leavers from the Wellington region is now sitting at 226 for 2018 enrolments to date.

UC PHD STUDENT TO WORK ON UN SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT GOALS

University of Canterbury doctoral researcher Emily Laing has been selected as a ‘talent’ to take part in UNLEASH, a global program for innovation, hosted in Singapore.

She will attend this year’s UNLEASH Innovation Lab from 30 May - 6 June. It is a forum for young innovators to work on solutions and strive toward UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

UNLEASH provides Emily with full funding to attend the lab with around 1000 other young talents selected from across the world in a number of different focus areas.

“My focus areas are affordable and clean energy, climate action and sustainable cities and communities,” she says.

“I was encouraged to apply for UNLEASH Lab by my brother who attended last year – he is a doctor setting up rural health centres in Gulu, Uganda. My application was based on my PhD research in Pacific studies and project management that I did here at the University of Canterbury through the Macmillan Brown Centre for Pacific Studies (MBC), with assistance from the Business School’s Department of Management, Marketing and Entrepreneurship.

“It looks into the management of solar energy infrastructure development projects in the Pacific Islands and how these aid-funded projects can be better managed for sustainable development outcomes and stronger community-focused project impacts.

Only a few weeks ago Emily successfully defended her PhD thesis – Project Management of Renewable Energy Development Initiatives in the South Pacific: A Case Study Analysis of the Sustainability Potential of Foreign Aid – and will graduate in April’s graduation ceremonies.

Director of the Macmillan Brown Centre for Pacific Studies, Professor Steven Ratuva describes Emily’s award as “a great achievement”.

“Emily’s thesis displayed exceptional analytical skills and intellectual insight. We’re proud she’ll be flying the MBC flag there in Singapore. She has a great future in front of her,” Professor Ratuva says.

NZ ACADEMIC NAMED AMONG THE WORLD’S TOP 40 BUSINESS PROFESSORS UNDER 40

An award-winning University of Canterbury marketing lecturer is the first New Zealand academic to be named one of the world’s Best 40 Under 40 Professors.

Associate Professor Ekant Veer, age 38, from the UC Business School’s Management, Marketing, and Entrepreneurship department, has been named as one of this year’s Poets&Quants Top 40 Business Professors Under 40, thought to be the first professor in Australasia to be named in the prestigious list.

“I knew I wanted to be a business school professor when I realised the business world was full of fascinating, interesting questions but people didn’t necessarily have the time to answer them,” Associate Professor Veer says.

“As a business academic I am afforded the privilege to not only influence the lives of the next generation of business leaders but also work with people to answer really interesting questions.”

His current research focus is on using marketing to benefit society and consumers.

“My recent work has been focused on how we can better promote and market mental wellbeing and break down stigmas associated with help seeking behaviours in business. I am also passionate about understanding digital consumer cultures and the way in which people interact online in both healthy and unhealthy ways.”

Associate Professor Veer also has a strong interest in promoting student care and wellbeing and for bringing ethicality into business practices.

“We discuss difficult issues in class, we don’t shy away from topics that are controversial or taboo and we use these experiences, in a safe environment, to help build better methods for dealing with similar situations in the future,” he says.

“If my students can be better people in the workplace and at home, then I’ve done my job as their professor.”

He says his most memorable moment as a teacher was to be able to share his story of why he teaches.

“My grandfather was the first person in his village to learn to read and write, and now I’m winning awards for teaching – which just shows how important education is as a social elevator. We need more educators.”

Ben O'Connell gets $20 to rate or slate the UCSA cafes, and helps you feel confident in your bad food choices on campus.

THIS ISSUE: MIX CAFE

Are you tired of having the same food at the same places time and time again? Scared to venture out of the Undercroft for campus cuisine? Fear no longer. There’s another cafe to add into the……mix. This is Ben Appetit, where I eat some food at a place and then write some things about the food I had at the place. This week, I ventured to the Mix Cafe.

The Mix Cafe is situated on the first floor of the Business and Law building. With a large seating area and indoor outdoor flow, the Mix Cafe is kinda tucked away due to its location, but spoilers…it’s worth the walk from the centre of campus. Also, the drinks selection is insane. While it isn’t as large as Chilton’s, there’s a more diverse range of beverages on offer.

Over the uni break the Mix Cafe has installed a new walkthrough system, with the counter and one display cabinet on one side, and a larger display cabinet and drinks fridge on the other. The system cleverly filters customers to the counter whilst providing space for the huge range of food on offer. For $19.30, I bought a roast chicken club sandwich, vanilla custard tart, a slice of banana loaf, choc shortbread biscuit, garlic twist, and a fancy Phoenix coffee cola drink. A haul and a half.

The vanilla custard tart was everything I anticipated: a pastry case for some Meadow Fresh Thick and Creamy Vanilla Custard™, topped with a Cadbury Flake™. I see you, Mix Cafe, with that supermarket bought portmanteau dessert. It was a bit gluggy and

rich near the end but I’ll eat anything so I managed. I’m still naming my first born “Vanilla Custard Tart” to commemorate my consumption of it though. Super duper.

The sandwich was wholesome and flavourful like a trip to the Foundry’s male toilets on a Thursday night. Okay maybe that’s not the best comparison but I highly recommend the sarnies. The one I had had roast chicken as the name suggests, but also was oozing with scrambled eggs, pesto, lettuce, tomato, cheese, onion, etc, etc.

The garlic twist was a tad dry but so worth it for $2.20. Similar case for the banana loaf, which needed butter! The choc shortbread was $1.50 and tasted like $1.80. Overall, I think the little snaccs were a belowaverage representation of that on offer, however.

PS: Sorry I wasn’t here last CANTA, I was busy doing nothing xx

Mix Cafe? You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You look like Linda Evangelista.

9 OUT OF 10 BENS

MIX CAFE $20 HAUL *emotional*

The tart matched my yellow sweater teehee

Street Eats

A sparklingly new gem in the heart of town, is Steampunk Laboratory….. Weirdly, this moniker is attached to this Asian fusion restaurant, which sits on the corner of the Box Park, serving mouthwateringly tender; freshly prepared to order, Korean BBQ. At a fraction of the price, offering both Street Food and Swag!!! Now you can’t get better then that.

My son, Jack and I headed over one Saturday afternoon for a quick fix to fill us up and decided we wanted a fresh Bulgogi.

For those not in the know, Bulgogi means ‘fire meat’ and is a dish made of thinly sliced, marinated beef or pork. The flavours are sensational and when it hits the searingly hot wok, pan or BBQ, the sauce caramelizes and becomes sticky, sweet and divine.

With street side fascia, it’s an intimate little place, decked out with high tables and bar stools for the ultimate in people watching and outside seating for alfresco nibbling.

These boys know what they’re doing and do it bloody well. It’s a simple concept, executed with panache!

Where On The Street : 270 St Asaph Street, Christchurch (Box Park)

Steampunk is part of the hip and trendy Box Park, surrounded by other incredible little eateries for you to pick and choose. So for the friend who doesn’t want to ‘go with the flow’ send them off in search of their own bowl a goodness, to one of these local digs : Vietnam to Go, Chi Chi Kitchen (serving fabulous plates of Italian delicacies), Thai Box, Gelato Roma and of course the wonder that is Rice and Paper (sushi). If you hit the park at the right time, you could always wander to the back for a tattoo or upstairs for a massage.

Foodage : Ok, the menu invites you to order a “CupBop” {small round bowl} which come in 2 sizes. With ‘Bop’ in hand, you’re looking at a sweet, sweet serve of freshly cooked, to order : Korean BBQ Meat, slavered in ‘secret sauces’, scrambled egg, fresh veges on a heap of steamed rice.

As well as Bulgogi, the menu choices are Jeyuk : Spicy Stir Fried BBQ Pork, Buldak : Stir Fried Chilli Chicken, Tofu : Organic and Seasoned, or you can head for something a little more western Chicken, Lamb or Pork stir fried with herbs and spices.

Freshly, homemade, pork and prawn dumplings are also available to purchase and Gluten Free is a welcome option.

Once your order is filled, the wait is minimal and when you collect, you have a choice of 4 chilli sauces (mild to sweating) to spice up your CupBop.

Fill the Trap : A regular ‘CupBop’ will set you back $10 or if you want to up the ante and go for a soft drink (match), $12. Same, same for the dumplings.

Time Mr Wolf : 11am – 3pm Monday through to Saturday – closed on Sunday.

Make it Yourself : This is a tasty little number to pull out if you want something quick, easy and full of flavour, add extra veggies to make it stretch.

Mix all the ingredients together and marinate for a minimum of 30 minutes, or longer if you can stand it.

Stir-fry in a hot pan, or on a BBQ very quickly for about 2 – 4 minutes, until the meat is cooked and the sauce is sticky. Serve with steamed rice and sprinkle over spring onion (green part) and a few sesame seeds for garnish.

For more foodie hax, tips, tricks, hints and banging recipes from Jax, head to www.jaxfoodhax.com or www.jaxhamilton.co.nz and remember when you put love in the pot, your dish always comes out hot!

Korean BBQ Savoury Spice Mash Up

Mix together and use as below:

1 tbsp ground ginger

1 tbsp sesame seeds

1/2 tsp ground chilli flakes (cayenne)

1 tsp black pepper

1 tbsp sugar

Bulgogi

2 spring onions, finely chopped (keep the green part for garnish)

1/3 cup soy sauce

2 cloves garlic, crushed (or 1 tbsp jarred garlic)

1 tbsp sesame oil

300g beef / pork schnitzel (cubed firm Tofu), thinly sliced

1 heaped tbsp Korean BBQ Spice

Mash Up

PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

entertained for a few hours. Tickets are available on Eventbrite and all the details can be found on our Facebook Page, UC Film Club.

AMNESTY UC FILMSOC

Amnesty UC is the go-to humanitarian and activist club on campus. If you’re interested in politics, human rights, helping your local community or just keen to get involved you can sign up for free on our Facebook page or contact us directly.

We hold all sorts of events: Backyard Gigs, Bake Sales, Presentations and Debates, Information Nights, Charity Fundraisers, Poetry Slams and heaps more. Also, we’re still a new club so you can have a huge impact on how we run the organisation and use your voice to better our community!

To best keep up with our shenanigans you can check us out on social media or just sign up and you’ll be added to our mailing list, we’d love to have you.

fb.com/pg/AmnestyCanterbury

The UC Film Club is taking steroids. For 2018, the Film Club is back bigger and with more events than ever.

It’s a huge year for the Film Club, we’ve got so much happening and the club is moving so fast that it’s giving me motion sickness. UC Film Club has always been about loving film, all aspects of it. So this year we are kicking it up a notch.

The club this year wants to show it is more than just a club for couch potatoes who enjoy watching films (however if that’s what you want to do we’re still the club for you).

Coming up on the 11th of May, we’ve got the annual Film Club Quiz Night. This year it’s hosted in Bentleys (YES, THE BAR WILL BE OPEN) with lots of food provided and an insane amount of prizes up for grabs. You don’t even have to know what you’re doing to win something! The Quiz Night celebrates everything great about film and promises to be a hilarious night. It’s a super cheap, $5 night and you’re guaranteed to be

Coming to the Undercroft in Semester 2 is the most sophisticated event the University has ever witnessed. Happening first week of Semester 2, all week long is the Film Club’s super amateur attempt at a Film Festival.

This week-long festival is all about the students of UC and all their talents. The Film Club is challenging all students to make a film. We’re not asking for good films either.

Literally anything will do.

Maybe you have never made a movie, or maybe you have made 100 of them. It doesn’t matter. You could literally make a 1-minute film of you eating cereal and we’ll accept it. The Film Club needs you all, sign ups will be available online and in the library, sign yourself up or sign up as a team. There are basically no rules and no standards.

More details will become available closer to the time!

Even if that all sounds crappy to you, don’t fear! The Film Club regularly hosts screenings of films, as voted by you!

So for now, like us on Instagram and Facebook to keep up to date with everything that’s happening!

BANGLADESH SOC

The Bangladesh Society, a Student Association of Bangladeshi students at University of Canterbury of New Zealand, celebrated Pohela Boishak 1425 in a befitting way on the campus on April 14, 2018.

The Bangladesh Society celebrated the day by organizing a cultural program that was designed and moderated by Mr. Mrinmoy Maitra. The Pohela Boishak program commenced by a brief opening speech from Bangladesh Society President, Dr. Mesbahuddin Chowdhury. After which, a spectacular dance and a melodious duet were performed by Sharnali Atashi Tisi and MD Ayrangzeb and Monali Alam respectively. These two performances were followed by an insightful speech from Nizar Alam on “The Bengali Calendar and its relationship with our life”.

After the speech, the program was again focused on two exciting performance – the first was indigenous songs from Sharnali Atashi Tisi and the other was a newsreader performance in Chittagong local language by S.M. Akramul Kabir and Nashrah Nahreen. The first segment also included a poem read by child artist Toppa, a Lalon song by Roton Borman and a video documentary

on the overall performance by the Bangladesh Society since its formation in August 2017.

The second part of the program was a Boishakhi dinner. The Bangladesh Society was very grateful to Nashrah Nahreen, Sharnali Atashi Tisi, Monali Alam, Serajis Salekeen, Pallabi Gosh, Jannatul Ferdous Bakul, Chaity Ahmad, Mahmuda Akhter Zinia, Sabrina Afrin and Rakhi Roy for their contributions to prepare the food items.

The final part of the program began with a thought-provoking speech from S.M. Akramul Kabir focusing on “Pohela Boishakh in Bangali Ethnicity and my viewpoint”. This speech was followed by three wonderful performances – a song from child artist Toppa, a poem recitation from Mrinmoy Maitra and a popular song in Chittagong local language from Sharnali Atashi Tisi and Isfaqur R. Siddiqui. After these performances, a comic letter in Comilla local language was read by Shubrata which was hilarious and applauded by the audience. A melodious folk song (Vawaiya) was later performed by Monali Alam. The program was concluded by a quiz competition and fashion show.

OPSOC

Giddaaaaaay! OpSoc’s ethos is about delivering a good froth and a bit of charity on the side. If opshopping, snags, Hawaiian shirts, or cheap thrills appeal to you then this club has your name all over it. Our events provide a sweet opportunity to meet a wide range of people, and if you’re rearing for a banger of a time, sign up and enjoy a lazy day or two floatin on our wolf juice river.

Our next event is the CHARITY ART AUCTION on the 11TH MAY! Put on your Sunday best and come along to see some fine local talent, have a boogie under the fairy lights and give a little to charity. See you there!

Love, OpSoc x

JACKSON WHITE UC SUSTAINABILITY with...

Personally I think that we need to be leaders on this issue as I believe it is one of the most negative ways that we as UC students currently impact our planet.

SOME NUMBERS:

• >30% of our landfill waste streams are organic waste matter which could be diverted from landfill.

• UC currently exports 300 tonnes of waste to landfill per year & 30 tonnes to a external composting operation.

• UC currently pays >$250 & >$140 per tonne of landfill and organics waste exported respectively.

IN ORDER TO COMBAT THE ISSUES WE ARE CURRENTLY FACING THERE ARE A FEW OPTIONS WE HAVE:

• Be ambivalent and carry on producing a massive amount of waste that generations following will curse us for 10000fold.

• Have a big push to ensure that all waste is going where it should to minimise contamination. (No matter what happens we should probably be giving this a bash)

• Lobby our local officials and waste industries to provide more comprehensive services.

Kia Ora team, I’m the engineering and self appointed “sustainability representative” at the USCA and I thought than instead of doing a classic “get to know your exec” I would instead talk about a big issue that we have here at UC.

As a Natural Resource Engineering student and a UCSA Exec member, the resource cycles here at UC are a large concern for me. Currently we truck in an astounding amount of food, plastic and various other resources only for them to be consumed and finally trucked off again.

In a perfect world all of our paper would be recycled, food & other compostable products would be composted and a minimal amount of waste would go to landfill. Sadly this is not the case; due to a high level of contamination within our waste streams (an issue that we as students need to own) and some less than perfect end of cycle options a large amount of our recycling and compostable products are being taken to landfill.

SEE DIAGRAM ON OPPOSITE PAGE FOR MORE DETAILS ON WHERE UC’S MESS ENDS UP.

• We as students make a stand and decide to take initiative by treating and composting a large amount of waste ourselves.

I have recently been looking into the fourth point and considering the best ways that we can do this. After a fair amount of research it seems to me that the best way to do this is by purchasing and operating an “invessel” composting system here on campus. This is going to cost us some $$$$. This is going to be your money and this is why I want to know whether or not you were keen on this option.

This would be no quick fix, we will still have to put in some serious mahi to minimise contamination in our waste streams, operate this system efficiently and battle any up and coming issues that will inevitably crop up. I do however believe this would be a massive step in the right direction and would illustrate our student bodies willingness to fight for issues it cares for.

So if you have any ideas on this topic, if you think my ideas are crap or you froth this kind of eco-stuff feel free to email me at engineering@ucsa.org.nz I would absolutely love to hear from as many of you as possible on this issue!

WHERE DOES ALL THAT GO?

WHERE UC WASTE COMES FROM AND WHERE IT ALL ENDS UP

MAGICAL PLACE WHERE PLASTIC ETC IS MADE

CHOPPED UP TREES EQUALLY MAGICAL PLACES WHERE FOOD GROWS

CORN CHURNED UP INTO “BIO” PLASTICS

LIVING EARTH CANNOT COMPOST BIO PLASTICS (ESPECIALLY IF CONTAMINATED)

THE WOK ETC WE PUT $2 IN “COMPOSTABLE” PACKAGING

LIBRARY ETC WE PRINT AWESOME ASSIGNMENTS THEN MARKERS BIN THEM

EVERYTHING ELSE YOU BRING MI-GORENG NOODLES TO DEVOUR IN-BETWEEN LECTURES

A LOT OF PAPER IS CONTAMINATED. IF IT IS, THE WHOLE BIN GOES TO LANDFILL.

PAPER GETTING RECYCLED AND TURNED INTO NEW CANTAS

BIG OL’ PILE OF RUBBISH (LANDFILL)

LIVING EARTH CO PLACE WHERE GREEN BIN STUFF GOES

THE GREAT PACIFICPATCHGARBAGE

YOUR GUIDE TO HICK-HOP

If you thought hip-hop and country music couldn’t ever possibly work together – you were right.

Yet, there are still some out there who believe. They don’t let hip-hop’s fast and flashy style get in the way of a good ol’ country hoe-down. They’ve pushed through

until the dream has finally become a reality. Just because it sounds bad, doesn’t mean you have to stop. Perseverance: it’s a lesson to all of us really.

Not all hick-hop is done the same way. Some make rap music filled with country themes, while

others just straight up rap over country music. They rep Nashville just like Kendrick reps Compton, or Drake shouts out Toronto. That it’s done with a Confederacy flag in hand is the only difference.

Here are the guys doing it.

SHOTGUN SHANE

Based in Tennessee, Shotgun Shane wears Confederacy-flag patterned denim jackets and raps lines like ‘I smoke kush and I smoke purple/I move slow-mo like a turtle’. Actually, it’s hard to pick out the best line from this song. Runners up include and “I rock my daisy dukes and my boots and I slay yo” and “I been tokin’ hazy/ I’m sippin’ on that apple pie.”

The video embodies the genre. The shots yo-yo between the hick-hoppers bouncing together in a big group and doing more traditional things like riding in a truck and wrestling in the mud. It’s GoodKidMudCity.

BUBBA SPARXXX

Self-stylised “country boy, city slick” decided to call himself Bubba Sparxxx and has been rapping about big booty and frolicking in the dirt ever since.

Sparxxx is an old hand at the country rap thing. His debut album Dark Days, Bright Nights was released in 2011, long before any of these other guys were mixing genres that have no business together.

Yelawolf is perhaps the best known hick-hopper on this list. Signed to Eminem’s Shady Records, Yelawolf has appeared all-over, even appearing on the actual hip-hop song 1 Train. Like many of the others hick-hoppers here, defence of the confederate flag is something Yelawolf is big-time into. Right after the Charleston shooting he pinpointed “yuppies from the west coast” as the conspirators trying to bring it down.

Unfortunately for him, he’s famous and liking the Confederate flag when you’re trying fit in with the hip-hop community is awkward.

BRAD PAISLEY

All you need to know about Brad Paisley can be found in one song. Accidentally Racist was released in 2013 and is the graceful duet between himself, and LL Cool J.

We should all spare a thought for Brad – the poor bloke just wants to wear a prominent symbol of the slave era on his tee without being called a racist. Don’t we all know that the Confederate flag actually just means he likes Skynyrd?

To be fair to Brad though, he spares us from the raps. LL Cool J takes care of that, promising Brad that “if you don’t judge my gold chains/I’ll forget the iron chains.”

THEM RIVER BANK BOYS

By Alexander Lyall

5 PEOPLE WHO BARTENDERS SECRETLY LAUGH AT

You’re at the bar, it’s party time, you’re chatting to the goodlooking people, cutting shapes to club bangers and being best version of yourself. Or so you think, you may have the other drunk punters fooled, but I’m the Bartender, I’m at work, and I’m sober. I see what you’re doing, I see everything you’re doing. When it hits 3am, the lights come on, we start cleaning up, and usually swap stories about the funny patrons we served that night. Here are a few of the recurring punters who provide us some amusement.

WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH DRUNKS

“Hey, can I have a vodka redbull, but can I pay less than what you normally charge? No? Why not?! That’s not fair! The bar next door does it cheaper!”

Firstly, if you wanted to go next door, you’d have gone next door. Secondly, it’s the same price next door. Thirdly, this is essentially a shop, these are our prices. Despite how busy this place is, like most bars, we aren’t making a massive profit. Our prices reflect long-term sales trends, building maintenance, and staff costs. Your individual assessment of a fair price is irrelevant compared to the unstoppable machine of market capitalism. The price is the price, we do not negotiate with drunks.

I TOUCH BROKEN GLASS WITH MY BARE HANDS

“Hi, I broke a glass, here’s some of it. Also, a shard has stuck under my fingernail, can I have a plaster?”

I know you’re trying to be helpful. I know you’re trying to clean up some mess you probably created. BUT! At some point in your childhood, someone explained to you why touching broken glass is a bad idea. You should’ve listened to them, because now not only do I have to clean up the broken glass, but I also have to clean up your blood, find you a plaster, and hide my laughter at your life choices. Now excuse me while I get a pair of gloves and a broom, so I can do this properly.

I JUST GOTTA POP TO THE BANK

“Hey can I get one house beer?” They ask me before turning to their phone, opening their banking app and beginning a transfer of funds...

My entire job, my ENTIRE JOB is to make drinks as quickly as possible. There are four people lined up behind you waiting to order, I can’t serve them until you’ve paid for your drinks, I’m sharing this till with another bartender Lauren who has already made drinks for customers who are waiting to pay because you are occupying the till. You know

what people hate? Ques. Do you know what the worst ques are? Bank Ques. Why have you inflicted a bank que on me, Lauren and all the patrons behind you?

LET ME FINGER YOUR LEMONS

Keep your hands to yourself. Everything on my side of the bar is out of bounds for you. I’m surprised I need tell you that. Don’t touch the alcohol, don’t touch the ice, and especially do not touch the lemons or limes. Do you know how I cut that fruit? I started by putting a knife and chopping board through a steriliser, then I washed my hands, then I sliced the fruit and put them into clean containers. I make sure to not touch my face, I use the back of my knuckle on tills because they’re dirty, and I wash my hands every half hour. So why the hell do you think it’s okay to plunge your nasty fingers into my clean fruit? I don’t want your germs in my drink, don’t finger my lemons.

SO WHAT’S GOOD?

“What’s a nice drink?”, he asks over the sound of thicc hiphop at 1:30am on a Sunday morning. Regardless of what I suggest they’ll inevitably respond with “Nah... what else?” this exchange goes on until they get what they were always going to get, our cheapest beer. What are you doing dude? You got to the bar at 1:20am, stood in a line for 10 minutes and didn’t decide what you wanted to drink! You know what’s good? Making decisions for yourself. Choose to live your life with purpose. Know what you want to order at a bar.

Don’t get me wrong, bartending a fun job, with reasonable pay and great music. Once it gets busy, all I’m there to do is make and sell drinks as quickly as possible. Hours can slip by in the rhythm of service, stacks of redbull vanish, the floor gets buried under a layer of bottle caps and empty bottles of spirits are tossed out by the dozen. I become but a vessel through which alcohol is turned into profit. Do not feel bad for me, I love it. If you avoid being any of these people, I’ll love you too.

By Robert Brownlee

TEN SIGNS YOU’RE DOING

BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE:

You’ve paid some bills this month

You have a job

You’re not worried about your next meal

You’ve got a couple of close friends

You’re not the same person you were a year ago

You’ve got goals

You’ve experienced real hardships

You don’t let pride get in the way of asking for help

You know there’s more to life than material possessions

You’ve chosen happiness on your terms

A FEW NOTES

Total hipster trash, am I right?

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA – SEX & FOOD

How Ruban Nielson, the former front man of the Mint Chicks, keeps one-upping himself, I don’t know. I’d decided previously that “II”, the sophomore album, with its saccharin-sweet acoustics, was one of the best album’s I own, but then they put out “Multi Love”, an indie pop record all about polyamory, and boy howdy did that find its way to my top spot quickly. Now they’re trying something a bit more politically active, with songs about mass production, cultural divides, overindulgence and that all too present (oh no here it comes, the) American Guilt. Sex & Food manages to do something interesting, taking elements from both the previous albums – the ghostly acoustic tracks and the savagely spacey disco – and mix them together seamlessly in one glossy hodgepodge. This album is sleek and sexy as a cherryred car with pop-up headlights. If this album was a woman, oh ho, the things I’d... — Gimmie a sec?

Okay, I’ve just come back to this after a cold shower. I needed it. Clearly, this album still gets its gold star. It’s sound is fiendishly fresh and crisp, with a bit of everything thrown in. But the songs themselves have this odd, conceptual feeling about them. They grumble, echo and whisper like an elder being’s second-hand understanding of what a pop album should sound like, if they were told by someone who doesn’t like what they play on the radio. However, everything, even the bits that you are clearly meant to rock out to, or hit the dance floor to, feel a tad faint and repetitive. And sometimes the beat feels like it’s falling into a dangerously hypnotic loop that’s trying to trick you into a false sense of security, so it can crawl out of the speaker and swallow you whole like a python. But I guess that’s part of what makes this album so appealing – Nielson’s entire M.O is recreating that special feeling of rooting thru your parents’ record collection and unearthing something strange and exciting. He already hit it out of the ballpark since his first release, but I guess you can go so far as to put a red bow on an already gleaming jewel.

KING TUFF – THE OTHER

So, there was this band called the Beach Boys, right? They sung mostly about, you guessed it, beaches. But this one time in 1967 the chief songwriter of the group, Brian Wilson, took literally one tab of acid and wanted to do an album about cosmic transcendence and the concepts of good and evil. After that album failed to materialise and he suffered a full-on mental breakdown, the band went back to singing about beaches, specifically Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda, Montego, et al. ad nauseum. There seems to be a similar thing happening, presumably without prompt from hallucinogens, to Vermont garage-rocker King Tuff, who has previously sung about Black Moon Spells and similar dark stuff has now dressed up like a wizard and is taking a dip into the already crowded psych-rock scene.

FLATBUSH ZOMBIES – VACATION IN HELL

In this confusing, samey music landscape of all these A$AP’s, Lil’s and that one copy-paste trap beat over and over, it’s reassuring that there are patrons of actual factual East Coast hip hop, which, according to the mighty Wikipedia, is lauded for its ‘complex lyrical dexterity’, still out there. This new release by the Brooklyn three-piece is dark and gravelly but still manages to be somewhat goofy. You’d think rapping about 2018’s rampant socio-political strife would get old, seeing as how quite literally everyone else is doing it, but these three still manage to find their own signature approach. What more can I say? Meechie Darko is clearly doing something right if his voice sounds like he’s gargling gravel, but I still find his lyrics meaningful.

Reviews by Lewis Hoban

THE RDU THE RDU THE RDU

JAM NIGHT AT FLIP OUT

FRI 18th MAY

Location: Flip Out

Tickets: Pay at event

DZ DEATHRAYS with BEST BETS

WED 23 RD MAY Location: Blue Smoke Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

WAX CHATTELS

SAT 26 th MAY

Location: Darkroom

Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

PERMANANCE

(Ian Curtis tribute)

FRI 18TH MAY

Location: Dark Room

Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

RDU presents MARLON WILLIAMS

WED 23 RD MAY

Location: The Foundry

Tickets: Ticketmaster.co.nz

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA

WED 5TH SEP Location: The Foundry

Tickets: Live Nation

UC ENTREPRENEURS:

S P I CE VINTAG E

TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOU:

I’m Anissa. When I was small, my mum read me books like Asterix and Obelix, The Horrible Histories series and books about ancient Greek myths, so I think I can thank her for sparking my love of all things historical.

I’m currently doing (better than I thought possible) a Classics and History BA, slowly attempting the long, painful trek that is Uni, but onwards and upwards is key, right?

I’ve just learnt to drive manual, and learnt how to do my tax refund and I just learnt that washing powder doesn't always have to go into the dip in the middle.

The adult way is really more of a journey rather than a destination.

WHAT’S YOUR BUSINESS?

Spice Vintage sells vintage and pre loved clothing that I source, mainly on Instagram.

TELL US A BIT MORE ABOUT YOUR VENTURE:

I started Spice Vintage over a year ago, just needing a jingle in my pocket and a bit more space in my wardrobe. I had initially named it Spice Emporium, but it reminded me too much of Mr. Magorium so I ditched

the ‘Emporium’ part.

I had a sort of knack for opshopping and finding retro gems, but I saw more potential in altering said retro gems, so invested in my first practical business tool: a sewing machine.

Before you know it, I’m trimming, hemming, and heaving away at my tiny desk, making this look better or that look worse (they were learning curves... really!), and people seemed to really enjoy what I found with my own added pizzazz. I guess you could call that the spice. Honestly? I watched the show Girlboss on Netflix, and it gave me some ideas, but it was more my love for vintage icons and the originality of their style. I felt like it was being forgotten. I suppose the contrast between when Sophia Amoruso found Nasty Gal and when I founded Spice is that these upcoming social media platforms make it so much more accessible for anyone to start up their own business. I’ve seen Instagrams for homemade candles, jewellery, slime (if you’re into that), but then again I’ve seen 12 year old’s with their own makeup businesses. The possibilities are endless.

WHAT WAS YOUR INSPIRATION BEHIND YOUR VENTURE?

There is a sustainable side to my business as well. I read online that America generates 11 billion pounds of clothing waste each year and only about 15 percent is recycled. That’s insane.

Even though it’s a small effort, I like to think that Spice Vintage does it’s part to reduce a little of our consumption habits. Besides, my clothing comes with history, and stories. I like that, and I think the people who purchase from me like it too.

HOW DOES THE PROCESS WORK? IS THERE A FORMULA TO HOW YOU FIND YOUR STOCK OR IS IT MORE OF A CHANCE ENCOUNTER?

I guess it’s a mix of formula and sheer luck. I have my tried and tested haunts that I religiously visit, so there’s your ‘formula’ and sometimes it’s stumbling on something iconic hidden away in the depths of a suburban thrift store.

DO YOU THINK INSTAGRAM IS A VIABLE PLATFORM TO SELL CLOTHING?

Absolutely. It’s a ripple effect. The more my followers like my posts, the more I’m in people’s feeds. I can’t think of another app that has evolved into part of popular culture as well as Instagram has. I like to think the thrift / vintage as a whole is a pretty robust business model. You carry unique, one off or rare items, and the quality outweighs what you’d find for $20 in a chain store. You’re also not really in competition with other vintage sellers. Everything is unique! I also try to source a range of sizes, for all different walks of life.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAS MADE SPICE VINTAGE SUCCESSFUL?

WHERE CAN WE FIND YOU?

@spice.vintage on Instagram

THE F-WORD

When you think of a leader, what comes to mind?

A president, prime minister, CEO, general, prophet, perhaps?

How likely are you to imagine a female leader?

For many of us, the idea of leadership is associated with men. Researchers say that even though there have been attempts to change how leadership is defined in the 21st century, people still think that what makes an effective leader are traditional masculine

values. These include strength, dominance, competitiveness, and assertiveness. For a woman to achieve a leadership position, she might feel pressured to conform to this model. You can see this in the way that some describe a ‘tough’ female leader as ‘having balls’. Although this might be intended as a compliment, what it shows is that women are seen as lacking something, that to be judged a good leader they need to become more like men. (See “The lady vanishes”: some thoughts on women and leadership” in Women and Leadership.)

The recent image of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern—a woman visibly pregnant wearing a korowai, a traditional Māori cloak—meeting the Queen subverts this notion. It disrupts what we’re used to, our traditional ideas about leadership. This helps explain why this image went viral on social media in New Zealand.

It continues to be difficult for

women to attain positions of leadership. New Zealand, for example, is ranked one of the worst countries in its proportion of women on company leadership teams. In 2004, women were 31% of senior teams but that has dropped to 18% this year. There are also more businesses who have no women in senior management. New Zealand is making progress in terms of gender equality in Parliament—38% of MPs are women. But around the world, women make up on average just 24% of National Parliaments. Despite studies showing there are many benefits of having women in leadership roles, this doesn’t mean that change will just happen.

We wonder what you think of what you imagine a leader, and how we can move past stereotypes to encourage and appreciate diversity in leadership.

DECISIVE ACTION, OR ENDLESS DEBATE?

In what I can only term a spectacular display of middle class white male privilege, Max Farra has missed the point by a country mile. This time, it’s on gender equality. Max believes that women aren’t on boards because shareholders elect the best candidates for these positions (ergo the current make-up is because clearly men are the best candidates), while conveniently forgetting the fact that institutional misogyny is the root cause of the problem.

Throughout history, women have been viewed as soft, nurturing, motherly, weak, submissive possessions for men to own. The rhetoric of these attributes is to construe them in a negative light, that because of these things, women can’t be strong, intelligent, powerful, cunning, and exist in their own right. Years and years of this rhetoric has resulted in a system that greatly disadvantages women through a culture that actively discourages them from speaking up, from demanding equal treatment, a culture that causes them to doubt themselves.

the point where we need to actively boards.

The fight for gender equality in corporations has never been about whether its financially better or worse for boards to be diverse. In fact, academic research has shown that company performance is neither positively or negatively affected by having gender diversity on boards.

The fight for gender equality has been about demanding equal treatment, equal opportunities, and equal pay for qualified candidates of all genders. Quotas are a blunt force measure of achieving that, yes, but they are part of a toolbox of mechanisms to rectify the problem. Yes, we’d all like to see more women in positions that are equal to men, but if all we do is sit around and talk about it, with a view of changing the underlying culture, then we’ll still be having these debates in 50 years. Much

like New Zealand granting women the vote, the action was decisive, and now nobody would ever question whether a woman should be entitled to vote. Quotas will force rapid change on society, a baptism by fire, and adjust the view of corporate women much faster than these endless, circulatory debates.

But quotas aren’t government policy. Julie Anne Genter’s comments about white men in their 60’s came as part of a broader discussion about the gender pay gap. At no time was there a commitment to quotas as potential government policy, but other news articles reveal that she does want to lead the discussion.

With these comments, Julie Anne Genter has signalled that decisive action is needed. And that’s what the political left represents. Decisive action. Viewed as controversial by white men in their 60’s, bold policies that benefit women are a refreshing change to how previous Ministers for Women have acted. Have we so quickly forgotten that Louise Ball went on the record and said “no” when asked if she was a feminist, and Paula Bennet said “most days” when she was asked. Feminism isn’t a dirty word – it’s a synonym for gender equality, and to have a Minister for Women take action to bring us closer to that is a startling upset for the status quo.

A product of a political leaning that has resulted in two elected women Prime Ministers, Julie Anne Genter, our full time feminist, has come to lead the charge on gender equality and bring women to an equal footing with men, and I personally look forward to it.

By Oliver Neal

WELCOME TO THE POST-GRAD WILDERNESS

I wonder why you decided to do post-graduate studies? I’m sure you sometimes ask yourself that. The allure is often fuelled by romantic notions of dusty smelling libraries, diagram crammed black boards, and world changing breakthroughs. But as Bryan Gaensler puts it, “Research is spending 6 hours reading 35 papers, so you can write one sentence containing 2 references.” And the reality for many post-grad students I talk too is that their Masters or Doctorate study is just really, really, really lonely.

Some have compared the process to that of running a Marathon; an exhausting solo pursuit, that tests one’s metal to breaking point. But since I’m the UC chaplain – indulge me as I use a different, more “spiritual” metaphor: The Wilderness.

From around 300 AD a constant stream of men and women started leaving the big cities, and they would head out into the Wilderness. These were Middle Eastern mountainous, desert like places – but for the sake of the Kiwi imagination, just imagine a central Otago tussock mountain scape. And so these “hermits” would leave all of their city life behind, take what they could carry on their backs, and find a cave to live in, in some far flung and inhospitable place.

Which begs the question, why on earth did they do it?

Well, a big part of it was because they wanted to escape the distractions and easy answers of the crowds, and they knew they needed the space to seek “higher knowledge” in solitude.

Of course, like post-grad study,

this idea of going off-the-grid also sounds kind of romantic. But in reality it would have been cold, boring, and really, really, really lonely.

But perhaps one of the great things these Dessert Fathers and Mothers discovered when they arrived in The Wilderness was this: “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Sure, you can change the place and setting that you’re in, but when push comes to shove, you’re still going to be YOU wherever you go. And for most people, being YOU includes a whole lot of insecurities, emotional junk, unbearable feelings, and unhelpful coping techniqueswhich most people discover are with us wherever we go. “Wherever you go, there you are.”

Here’s what the Dessert Fathers and Mothers discovered while sitting in those caves by themselves; when you’re living in a city, the noise and distraction of the crowds often means you can avoid having to confront the more unpleasant parts of being YOU. But when you’re stuck in a cave, in the middle of the desert, for years on end, in the company of no-one but yourself, and with no distractions to help you escape... you sometimes meet a side of YOU that you didn’t realise existed. And it’s not pretty.

I suspect that many post-grad students resonate with this image of The Wilderness. We leave the “crowds” (our under-grad cohorts or our previous jobs) and head into a season where we spend great chunks of time in solitude, just being with ourselves. Perhaps we decided to do post-grad study because we wanted to reinvent ourselves, or to escape a job, or a relationship. We have all these fantasies about what it’s going to be like. But we soon realise, that

while many supervisors and friends and family can help us on our postgrad journey – the majority of it is a journey we can only take alone.

And as we study we discover that “Wherever you go, there you are.”

I suspect that's why many postgrad students experience a sort of emotional and existential un-doing as they strive to research, write up, edit, and submit their work. Just like the Desert Fathers found, students discover it’s hard work being with yourself – as all of your nagging insecurities and hopes and motivations are poked and prodded in an echo chamber for months on end.

But... please don’t’ quit just yet! Because the Desert Fathers also discovered that The Wilderness is a gift! That the Wilderness can even be a good place! Yes – it’s hard. But the brave amongst you will use your “Wilderness” period to not only grow academically, but to also to grow emotionally, personally, and even spirituality. Because that discomfort you feel when you’re stuck being YOU for days on end? Well it's actually an invitation to face up to who you are, to “lean into” the bits that need some work, and to learn to like yourself. And that takes courage.

I know it's not an easy thing to do. And I know supervisors aren’t always easy creatures to deal with. But my prayer for you is that you’ll emerge from your time at UC with much more than a fancy thesis, a clever title, and a mild anxiety issue. But rather, that you'll also have begun to “lean in” to your discomfort, to deal with your junk, and to even begin to love and accept the YOU that you are. Because it's the only YOU you'll ever have.

WELLBEING WATCH

She said she vividly remembered exactly how she felt before she tried to take her own life. “At the time, I couldn’t see a way out. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts for nine years already”. She mentioned that it was after spending three weeks in a coma after her suicide attempt, when she was being hugged by the people that stuck by her, that she began to realise that her suicidal thoughts held no truth over her.

WHEN CLOUDS TURN GREY

It was Term 4 2015 and the world wasn’t such a bright place for me. I had just come out of a physical injury, a close cousin had just passed away suddenly and before long all I could feel was my world imploding inside.

As dark clouds seemed to swirl around me for weeks on end, I remember all I maintained was this shell of outward composure, when all I could feel inside was that everything I had worked for, believed in, and dreamed of were all slipping away. I found myself confronted with a recurring thought that wanted to remove me from reality, a feeling that wondered what it'd be like to simply slip off the face of the earth.

Things were turning south and fast. I knew something was up, that something didn’t quite feel right. Was this just a situation not worth dragging others into? It got to the point where I remember calling on an older couple, that were family friends that I love and trusted, for help. Understanding there was hope, that I wasn’t going crazy and that it was okay to feel like that was the best advice they ever gave me.

My story’s not overly special or unique - in fact if you’re reading this there’s a good chance you've had to face a lot worse than I have. I was reading a recent Stuff article about a young 21-year-old called Jazz Thornton who shared about her journey through depression. She mentioned her mental health started spiraling out of control following years of schoolyard bullying and being sexual assaulted in her childhood and teenage years.

Now 22, Jazz has gone on tour schools in NZ and Aussie sharing her story and co-founding a non-profit movement called Voices of Hope. While we may not have walked through Jazz’s experience personally, there’s a chance someone somewhere in our circle's in the same place. It’s that time of year - exams on the horizon, winter’s starting to convert your dwelling into an icebox and the old bank account’s not looking as plump as it once was - and asking how someone REALLY is does go a long way.

While it’s crucial to look out for mates around us, sometimes when it comes to something like mental health or wellbeing, we can tend to only look at it with a viewpoint of an ‘others’ lens, in terms of how it’s affecting friends and those close to us. However putting the focus on ourselves for once is sometimes the best thing we can do.

It’s the old classic- we place huge importance on our physical health or physique that we’ll click like to, post about, spend time training for. At the same time if we get injured we’d most likely see a specialist, take time out, let mates know about it. The reality is we all have a mind, a state of mental being and a level of how ‘well’ this state of mentality is. How would you rate your mental fitness out of 10 currently?

Share your struggle with mates, look out for your mates, take a break, eat well, get outdoors, climb a tree, row a boat or ring your gran. Look after yourselfyou matter more than you could ever know.

By Sam Brosnahan

11AM - 1PM 9 MAY

Swing past your UCSA exec offices in the Undercroft and grab yourself a little dose of plant therapy just in time for Winter.

Jazz Thornton

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH – OMANAWA FALLS –

Omanawa falls is one of the most spectacular waterfalls that I can ever remember going to in New Zealand.

They are also one of the most difficult to access waterfalls that I have been to. A windy goat’s track takes you through a rugged bit of forest with a welldefined track. Taking you for a climb and scramble in places. Clinging to tree branches and scaling dodgy ladders, eventually, you find your way down to these incredible falls. Swim to the base of the falls, walk behind them, completely immersing yourself in this beautiful destination.

All that pain to make it here will be long forgotten.

THE LOCATION

To get to Omanawa falls drive approximately 30mins from Tauranga out into the countryside. You will most likely find a few other cars parked up on the bend where there is access to the falls. Access has been closed for quite a while now, with gates being enforced to discourage people from attempting to get to the falls as the route is a goat’s track. There have been some severe injuries that have occurred with people trying to get down to the falls or jumping off from the top of the falls, by taking the right precautions the track is manageable if you are prepared.

THE JOURNEY

The track begins after getting past the first gate, the trail becomes a lot rougher, there is still a well-positioned fence to ensure you don’t fall off the edge of the cliff. As you travel along this narrow path through the metal fence, you catch your first glimpses of Omanawa Falls. The route leads to a U-turn as you face yet another blockade. It looks like people have had a shot at trying to go straight ahead, avoiding the gate.

At the time of taking on this adventure, the gate was pried open enough that we were able to squeeze through. I would recommend taking this route, even if it does require climbing this gate. By taking this route it is much less likely that you will end up lost. The track follows a few steps, climbing into much more wild terrain as the route leads up and away from the location of the waterfall. As you begin climbing there are a number of paths that you can follow, our general rule was to go left on most of the intersections we came to, always taking the path most well-worn.

The general direction of the path leads up the hill away from the falls. As you follow the path up you will come across quite a distinct high point. From this high point, follow the path as it leads towards the waterfall.

There is a defined path for the majority of the journey, as you follow the track down it descends taking a sharp turn. Descending further, you come across a number of ladders that you must scale to reach the waterfall. The ladders are not so secure, but with care taken, you should be able to tackle them with ease.

THE DESTINATION

The last few steps to the waterfalls are a sturdy staircase which even sports a railing, a huge contrast to the trail taken to the waterfalls. Duck under the railing spread out on one of the large flat rocks, sunbathe and enjoy the fresh water. Clamber around the back of the waterfall and be amazed by mother nature. There are a few rocks just to the left of the shack that are sweet for popping a few manus. The whole experience of being in the midst of such a beautiful waterfall is hard to beat. The clamber around to the base of the waterfall will see you wading around a swift little stream and up onto dry land once again. The rocks behind the waterfall are a little sharp. I usually walk around in bare feet but found it hard to walk around without my feet complaining. I recommend bringing some water shoes or jandals to float over there. It will bring your feet much more pleasure.

All up the walk into Omanawa adds to the adventure and excitement of arriving at these spectacular waterfalls. It isn’t too long, it took us 30 minutes of clambering to get 4 of us to the falls. It is rough and some of the track isn’t too forgiving so do take caution. Otherwise, I highly recommend this hot spot. Try going in the earlier morning to avoid the crowds that do go here. Most importantly keep it clean, pack out any rubbish that you do bring in. It would be heartbreaking to see such a beautiful place ruined because people have not taken care.

NOTES

– If there has been any recent rainfall I would not walk the beaten track down to the waterfall. It is quite dangerous with the soil making it much easier to slip down the slopes and injure yourself.

– Along the way, you are greeted with some scrambling which should be attempted with caution in mind. Ensure you test the holds before putting your full weight on them, often the holds can crumble, disintegrate or fall away.

By Nathan James

FOLLOW NATHAN'S ADVERTURES HERE: ADVENTURESFTSOUTH.COM

ONE SIDE

I woke one morning (around 2pm), checked my inbox and spotted the CANTA blind date confirmation email written in bold. My heart began beating out of my chest, palms sweaty, smile wide, obviously all because I’d have an excuse to day-drink this Tuesday. I have never done this sort of thing before – of course I haven’t, it’s 2018, not a 90’s romcom. Plus, today I’ve found that you learn a lot more about the date from stalking their social media 10 mins prior rather than the actual date itself. Needless to say, I was out of my comfort zone.

Prior to the date I got dressed, messaged the geology cult chat half a million times, doused myself in way too much cologne and began polishing my shoes – what can I say, men get nervous too. I wandered over, breaking girls’ necks as I walked past. Being a gentleman, I arrived 5 minutes early, trying to nab a seat where I could get a good view of her walking in, so I could prepare a compliment for her as we met. At 12.30pm on the dot she made her way down the stairs, beaming an anxious smile. I seriously didn’t know that a heart could beat this fast. I leaned in for the hug (risky yet bold), and damn she shook like a 9.6 magnitude earthquake. We sat, didn’t introduce ourselves and instantly jumped into the typical “so what are you studying?” chat. Let’s just say she’s currently videoing herself smashing plates and I spend my days looking at rocks – an interesting mix.

Conversations flowed relatively well, she was quite open, sharing her stories of how she was stress eating with her flatmates earlier, she cracked a geology pun (winner in my books) and we chatted about our hobbies that don’t involve loathing our lives at uni or drinking our savings away on weekends. Now, to interrupt, I must address a major issue: The Shilling Club doesn’t serve Speights. Isn’t it the pride of the South? UCSA, you should really need to get onto sorting this out.

The date progressed and near the end I realised that we had never introduced ourselves upon meeting, I guess I’m just used to knowing their name prior (cheers Tinder). I then revealed that I was a JAFA and I swear I saw her eyes roll into the back of her head – we’re not all that bad! As we continued to chat I realised that this whole 2 degrees of separation thing in NZ is reality. Not only did we both live in Ilam Apartments, but I had recently matched with her flatmate on Tinder. This could’ve been disastrous; however, we were both happy enough to laugh it off, and I think the beer helped with that. After checking the time, we realised that it would probably be best to go our separate ways; she had plates to smash, and I had some rocks that needed to be looked at.

THE OTHER SIDE

Blind dates generally aren’t my thing, what can I say I’m a nervous lil’ shit, so I spent a good portion of my time getting ready today overthinking every possible thing from ‘ahh what do I wear/say/do/act?? What if it’s insanely awkward and goes down as the worst date in the history of blind dates??’ And most of all, ‘what if I already know them??’

I’ve got to say I did have the motivation of a decent meal that didn’t involve freezer food or microwaves fueling me to stick with it and actually show up. Anyway, don’t you just hate the feeling of recognising someone but not knowing where you know them from? It’s literally the worst! Unfortunately, it was exactly how I felt as I made my way down the stairs nerves bubbling in my stomach to meet my date (or maybe it was just the alcohol that I’d chugged as I rushed out the door bubbling away... either way).

I was so nervous that I completely missed his name when he introduced himself, which really didn’t help the aah where do I know you from feeling.

The conversation was nice and flowed pretty well ranging from basic shit like Uni degrees (he actually made geology sound kind of interesting to a fine arts gal, so hey good job) to stories of worst drinking/party experiences and bunch more topics with only a few awkward pauses thrown in every now and then.

The food was sick by the way, though I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself a little when I really couldn’t handle the spice of

the dumplings, and almost shed a tear, but ohhhh well.

Of course, after a while I finally figured out where I knew him from. Turned out he’d matched with my flatmate, who was his old workmate, on tinder last week and they’d had a pretty funky conversation involving exes, managers and the awkward situation when those two things are combined, (that I’d also been made privy too, haha) and while that was all chill and a good laugh, it was a little bit weird when we spent the next little while discussing my flatmate more than anything else.

Regardless I still enjoyed the date, the food was good, I enjoyed the yarns and while I don’t think I’ll be seeing my date again (unless, you know, things happen with him and my flatmate…. (my flatmate wants me to make it very clear that this is a joke) he was still a really lovely guy, wishing him all the best!

Also shout out to your cheekbones, man. they’re killer.

Cheers CANTA, it was a laugh and a half. Thanks for the food and drink! <3

LAST ISSUE’S ANSWERS ------------->

WHO CLOSES THE DOOR AFTER THE BUS DRIVER GETS OFF?

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