CANTA ISSUE 3, 2018

Oh hey!

Does this issue of CANTA feel a little …green to you? That’s because as of now, CANTA is now printed on locally printed, and sustainable paper! We’re doing what we can, to produce a publication that doesn’t contribute to a scorched friggin’ earth. Baby steps, huh! Let’s work on having a giant Uni NOT heated with coal next.

In Issue Four, we give you the Top Five Theories on Game Of Thrones thanks to Fisi, and Rob tackles the stigma of HIV in Queertiquette. We even have someone advocating the eating of insects. We’ve got it all.

Enjoy it all. And as soon as I’ve figured out how to embed flower seeds in the pages of CANTA I’ll be asking you to bury us, ASAP. I really promised I would banish this term to hell, but… I can’t. This issue is CANTAstic.

– JOSHUA

This issue ’ s contributors

Robert Brownlee Spanky Moore

Lewis Hoban Ben O’Connell

Claude Meffan

Java Katzur

Nathan James Fisi-Belle Carrasco

Robert Falcasantos

Jasper Force

Letters to the Editor

NICE TOE MEET YOU

Hi Canta, I am sick of people walking around on campus without footwear. What is the purpose is this? Who does this benefit? Is there some medical benefit to having breezy toes? No. Does it look better? Sure as fuck, no. I don’t want these nasty feet walking throughout our carpeted areas and putting their manky feet on chairs.

Not Keen, Jellybean

Hi there Jellybean.

Thousands of years ago, our ancient ancestors were barefoot on their campuses, and attended lectures with their weird reptile furry claw things out in the open. Deal with it.

Is the issue here actually your deep seated pants-passion for the human foot? Perhaps the thought of bunions in your mouth dissolve your underwear? Letting a calloused heel soften in the bath and then going to town on it? Hey I mean, there’s something for everyone!

I say you strike up a convo with your brazen bipedal naughty noo-noos and just let fate take care of the rest.

All the best. You’re weird. – CANTA

BETTER THAN MAFS

This is for Josh from CANTA, Can you please let him know that he put me and my boyfriend on a blind date in the magazine, and we are still together? Lol. 7 months and we are about to move in together.

I just wanted to let him know because it’s the funniest story to tell our friends and we are pretty much inseparable. He did a good match up.

Christo Honestly Christo, this is why I do this job. Well, not really. I do it because I get to hunt the sewer rats at night, and all for free! You and your boyf sound super cute though! I vote we put you on the cover like a regular Woman’s Day. Up for it?

–Joshua

has been looking out for you, shutting down our Parliamentary submissions drive on C-block lawn (though failing to live up to UC’s staff sponsorship box-ticking standards was likely also to blame). Possible side effects of consuming homemade brownies include, but are not limited to:

– appetite suppression;

– appetite stimulation;

– sticky fingers;

– licked fingers;

– increased blood-sugar;

– insulin spikes;

– projectile vomiting; and

– violent diarrhea.

If ever you see a stack of rich, delicious, homemade, 100%, truly, definitely, non-psychotropic brownies please STAY CLEAR and leave for the birds. They do not pass muster with those at UC concerned with the health and safety of the student body, obviously reflecting their status as unfit for human consumption as they were not forged in the pristine ovens of The Wok. This is of course an all too rare circumstance where it is best to prevent adults from engaging in the taking of educated risks.

Asher Etherington President of BudSoc UC

Yikes. D R A M A.

LETTER OF THE WEEK

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Panic, disorder, insubordination. BudSoc UC would like to warn students about the dangers of 100%, truly, definitely, nonpsychotropic brownies. Fortunately, UC already knows the below and

We handed this one over to James, the Clubs Coordinator for the UCSA:

Hey Asher, Rule exist for a reason. I know you’re looking to change them, but you need to work within them on campus. Come to us with plenty of notice and we can get a lot across the line. In this case, you did not.

If clubs want advice around what they can do on campus, they can come see me and I can help them through the process. Whether you like it or not, it’s not going away –so work with us!

Cheers, James

these mysterious individuals? Why were they shooting at each other with kids play guns? Why did they feel the need to do it in important places, like in my way? More importantly, who won? –

Guy who had to wait 10 minutes for the next bus

Hi Bus Guy, Gosh don’t they sound NEAT? Nothing better than a representation of a gun at a learning institution! WOW!

This sounds like the work of KAOS. KAOS stands for Killing As an Organised Sport.

I reached out to KAOS and they had this to say:

NERF OR NOTHING

CANTA, Did anyone else catch those kids running around with Nerf guns a few days ago? There were groups of them, shooting at each other, then stopping for two minutes so they could all pick up those little foam darts. There was also some dude hiding behind a pillar near the new engineering building, quite fine with the fact that everyone was staring at him and giving his spot away. I’d be fine with all this if it wasn’t somewhat impeding everyone else’s progress - four of them made me late for the bus when they insisted on having a big battle right in the middle of the road, which also got in the way of a disgruntled car driver. I was hoping you, in your infinite knowledge of student goings-on, could shed a little light on this mystery; who are

Dear Guy who had to wait 10 minutes for the next bus, Those glorious individuals you saw running about were agents of KAOS. For those ignorant few who don’t know, K.A.O.S stands for Killing as Organised Sport and it is, as most of you will know the greatest club on campus. The activity in question was a killing round. This is where our agents hunt one another across campus for blood and glory. There is need to fear our activities. Our agents are highly trained and will not harm you. Indeed, all agents know that to shoot an innocent bystander would result in their execution, as would disrupting any on-campus business.

K.A.O.S is a club based on the idea that university is too serious and sometimes you need to cool off by doing something ridiculous like hunting people around campus with an inflatable squeaky hammer. I also want to include here a stern reprimand to those agents you described as doing battle on the road. This is strongly discouraged

STUDY HARD, WIN BIG!

and breaks our ‘don’t be a dick’ rule. The execution of these individuals is planned. Keep an eye on the hill near James Hight Library. With relation to who was the victor, well, we all were. The victory was in each of us all along.

(Actually, it was his executive brilliance the Dictator)

Kind regards A devoted K.A.O.S agent Long live the Dictator.

MEDIA101

Why is CANTA is run by a bunch of morons who nothing about media? (sent via Snapchat)

Gosh this is a neat message! I guess for me, working for the stuff.co.nz team in Wellington for 3 years, then leading the largest education magazine in New Zealand at NZME (The Herald, ZM etc) leaves me a clueless husk of a human. WHOOPSIE. Not to mention the 60+ contributors that work on the magazine, who are journalism students, skilled writers, and bloggers…

CANTA has increased readership, revenue, and contributors over the past year and we’re proud of it.

I guess I could sum it up by saying – go fuck yourself? Happy to assist in person. xox

– Joshua

 Spend $20 or more in store at UBS and go in the draw to win a mystery prize pack worth over $1000

 Be the first to solve the hangman to reveal each week’s prize and gain five extra entries

 Like and share our post on Facebook (@ubscanterbury) for another chance to win

PETITION FOR MORE CAMPUS PARKING

has only ever been a ‘licence to hunt’.

On campus parking fees are a decision of the University Council, which at the end of 2016 confirmed that for the 2017 year full-year student parking fees would be $350 and staff fees $600. At the same time it set 2018 full-year parking fees at $800 for staff and $400 for students, and 2019 full-year parking fees at $1,000 for staff and $475 for students. A range of payment options are available.

The University Council deliberately set a lower fee for students, acknowledging their lesser ability to pay. It also sought to achieve a level that encouraged other means of transport to campus – and avoided as much as possible using tuition fees to maintain car parks.

In an almost annual tradition, another petition for adequate on campus parking has cropped up online.

Rena Morgan has initiated the most recent petition.

Rena says her and a friend “would always come to Uni at least half an hour, if not a full hour early and would still miss out on classes because we are spending so much time finding a park”.

“We saw that heaps of other people were having the same issue as us, and being really frustrated about it. So, we thought why not do something about it so other people that had the same problem could voice up.”

“There has been an increase of students this year and we think it’s ridiculous how many parking permits they sell but not provide enough parking spaces. We want to aim to hit 1,000 signatures from the petition to gain recognition to further solve this issue. “

“Our goal is to get more parking spaces at Uni, but we understand that this is a difficult issue to solve. So in the meantime while this problem is being solved we would like to see the price in parking permits going down. “

“We don't think it’s fair for students to be paying $400 a year for a park that's not guaranteed.”

Rena also mentions starting this petition was not a vehicle “to bash the Uni in any way.”

“We are purely just looking for a positive change, as this is something that students truly do need. We feel bad that most of these students are coming hours early for their lectures and are still missing them! as well as the huge amount of money they pay yearly”.

CANTA reached out to the Vice Chancellor’s Office for comment:

Parking is one of the issues that arises at the start of every year. Issues tail off as students settle into the academic year.

The University of Canterbury is clearly identified as an area of the city where there is particular pressure for on-campus and on-street parking. As well as students, parking is a frequent topic of conversation at community meetings and other occasions when the University engages with its neighbours.

The District Plan sets the requirements for the number of car parks on campus.

Because staff and student numbers will always outweigh the number of parks available, a parking permit

The University Council was also mindful that best practice and international examples highlight that parking needs to be suitably priced to ensure it acts as an incentive to consider alternative modes but not so unreasonable as to exclude people with limited choice.

The University will continue to promote alternative forms of transport to campus and is actively establishing more bikestands.

On-campus parking is cheaper than some other Universities, and in the CBD. We also acknowledge that a proportion of people will not park on campus at any cost greater than zero.

The University is working on future car parking options, but is already on record as saying the lifetime cost of a single car park is $7,000. To build a multi-level car park is in the order of $30,000 per park. There would also be an issue of where to put a multi-level structure, given restrictions building on existing greenspace.

The cost of providing and maintaining car parking is increasing. Even with fees at their current level, the cost of developing and maintaining car parks on campus is still being subsidised, including from tuition and research income. Increased availability of parks would obviously encourage more people to drive to campus – at a time when large numbers of students are already driving. UC has collected travel data every four years since the 1960s. The most recent 2016 edition showed the number of students driving to campus had increased 11% since 2012 to 41% – the second highest rate since 1966, surpassed only slightly by 41.2% in 2000.

It’s worth noting that not all university carparks are full across the wider university – that includes the Dovedale campus. Yes, it’s a walk, but there is parking available.

UC engages regularly with the City Council on parking issues. Last year the Vice-Chancellor made a submission to the City Council’s review of the Suburban Car Parking Policy. UC favours a resident’s parking scheme in the streets around campus, or increased numbers of time restricted parks to encourage parking turnover and to allow students who might just be attending campus for one lecture to find a park.

The University has also been asked for its views on ongoing reviews of parking in the streets around parts of the campus. The Vice-Chancellor has already met with representatives from two community boards about parking matters this year.

We will continue to raise these issues with Council whenever the opportunity presents itself.

There are no easy answers!

GET TO KNOW YOUR EXEC: DEVANSHI

WHAT’S YOUR ROLE WITH THE EXEC?

My role on the exec is to be a student voice for those studying Education, Health Science, Human Development and Sport Coaching as I the College of Education, Health and Human Development Representative.

SUMMARISE YOURSELF IN ONE SENTENCE: Full of bigger ideas than myself.

GET TO KNOW YOUR EXEC: ALEX

WHAT’S YOUR ROLE WITH THE EXEC?

I am in charge of International Representation, which is a new position introduced for this year. With a 24% increase in international students this year it is clear that there is the need for this & I am looking forward to developing it this year. Feel free to come chat or contact me!

SUMMARISE YOURSELF IN ONE SENTENCE: A few loose screws but nothing you can’t fix.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT UNIVERSITY OF CANTERBURY?

The People, the people, the people. Seriously though, the number of different people that you meet throughout your time at university is

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT UNIVERSITY OF CANTERBURY?

Something that I love about UC is our club culture and how everyone is super friendly/welcoming.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TRY MAKE BETTER FOR STUDENTS THIS YEAR?

This year a goal of mine is to celebrate more International events on campus and I would love to run a big International Food Market.

ARE YOU INVOLVED IN ANYTHING ELSE AT UC?

Yea, I'm involved in the clubs scene, as I started up a club called Curry Soc last year! Which started out as a joke between few mates and I and somehow we managed to get 250 members and win best new clubwhich was incredible! I also and I play basketball even tho myheight is a major disadvantage.

WHAT’S YOUR TOP TIP FOR PEOPLE IN THEIR FIRST YEAR AT UC?

My tip is to get involved within UC, weather that's clubs, sports or academic wise. Just emerge yourself into the UC life and culture.

Contact Devanshi at: education@ucsa.org.nz

insane, people from all sorts of different places & backgrounds, ones that you’ll say you will likely stay connected with for a long time!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TRY MAKE BETTER FOR STUDENTS THIS YEAR?

Obviously my main focus is all about making things better for international students at UC. There is lots in the pipeline & a lot that can be done so that is my focus for this year. I really want to bring value and support to international students & I look forward to do the best that I can!

Beyond this I want to work on getting students involved on campus & enhancing the campus life that we have. As part of my campaign I wanted to bring in more after hour vending options at UC, currently this is in progress for the Ernest Rutherford science building.

ARE YOU INVOLVED IN ANYTHING ELSE AT UC?

Dabble in a bit here and there, does the Foundry count?

WHAT’S YOUR TOP TIP FOR PEOPLE IN THEIR FIRST YEAR AT UC?

Don’t wear a white tee to the Foundry & network as much as you possibly can. Again there are so many people to get to know at UC & it’s the people that make it what it is. Meeting people & getting involved as much as you can is definitely the way to go!

Contact Alex at: international@ucsa.org.nz

Ben O'Connell gets $30 to rate or slate the UCSA cafes, and helps you feel confident in your bad food choices on campus.

THE SHILLING CLUB

According to their website, The Shilling Club was formed ‘in the late 1970s’ and has ‘sought to change the course of history’ ever since. Bold calls, Shilling Club, bold calls. Welcome to this week’s edition of Ben Appetit, where I enter eating establishments and exit eager to enlighten everyone about them. This week, what I view the fanciest place on campus, the Shilling Club.

After finding my seat and menu, I decided to get the $16 sauerkraut and corned beef sandwich, the ‘Reuben’, and the $14 breakfast burrito. I had an allocated $30 for this trip, and was proud of my perfect addition as I don’t receive change on my vouchers. This pride was soon deflated after I learnt the menu prices hadn’t been updated, and so I lucked out on $1.50. Everything on the menu looked very appetising though, and I’ll be back soon for the fried chicken for sure.

Why does this screenshot from the Shilling Club website look like an indie music YouTube channel?

cold in the middle, but I wrote in my notes “The sandwich was awesome, I love sauerkraut and sis this was lit” if that’s any indication on how much I enjoyed it. All of the food was incredibly filling, the minor things aside.

The Shilling Club has a great ambiance, somehow managing to walk the fine line between on-campus food place and sophisticated, well-established restaurant. 10/10 service and a filling, diverse menu minus the menu mishap and unusual cold egg wrap gives the Shilling Club… 7 out of 10 Bens. (Maybe this would’ve been an eight if I got the chicken…)

The burrito had a generous amount of bacon and hash brown, but also was lined with an unusually spongy egg omelette. I’d much prefer a more authentic scrambled egg, or a poached egg (because the picture above lacks yolk porn; I’m just saying). The Reuben was much better by comparison. The fillings worked perfectly together; corned beef, mustard, sauerkraut. Full disclosure: it was a touch

7 OUT OF 10 BENS

The Dragon Express

Ok, I have to tell you about the next place, oh yes, get ready, enter The Dragon Express Restaurant (oooh see what I did there? Are you catching what I’m throwing?)

Where on the Street : 88 Riccarton Road, Riccarton.

So you’re walking, driving away from the Mall, cross the main road, past the café on the corner and you’re at the Dragon’s door. If you’re outside Theo’s fish shop, mate you’ve gone too far.

I have to hook you up with Cliff (the owner), because he does the best (if not the only) traditional Peking Duck in Christchurch – the thing is off the charts and would impress a blind man – too much?

Also he has amazing presence, is really funny and will help educate you to the food and Chinese ways. A passionate foodie, so you know the tukka will be good, because it’s been created with love.

Foodage : Oooh where to start. The Dragon Express offers a very traditional, concise menu. This isn’t just your average Chinese takeaway, when you sit down and open the menu, you’ll know.

Not many Chinese restaurants offer Jelly fish with sesame and chilli – ding, dong, fabulous, you should try it or pigs maw cooked in brine. Of course, you can get the usual suspects, Deep Fried Wontons, Spring rolls etc., But if you’re hankering for some home cooked Chinese food baby, then this is the place.

As I mentioned, The Dragon Express is one of the only restaurants in Christchurch creating the traditionally prepared Peking Duck, which will set you back around $55.00, which between 4 is a banging price for a slap up crispy skinned, finger licking duck!

The menu reminds me of the restaurants in London’s China town, with simple delicacies wrapped around old school familiars.

Fill the Trap : For 3 courses you’re looking at around $32.00 between 2 people, but you can go as vast and as wide as the menu allows. It’s not a big restaurant but Cliff will accommodate a crowd.

Time Mr Wolf : You’re looking at 11.30am – 2.30pm / 5pm – 10pm 7 days a week. If you’re looking for duck and you don’t want to be disappointed, call ahead because he sells out fast.

Ok, that’s me. Hope I’ve inspired you to eat well, experiment and inspired you to think outside your comfort zones. I’m always available to talk food, ingredients or whatever is on your mind where eating is concerned.

Until next Month, fill your plates, impress your mates and remember we eat with our eyes first!

Laters - Jax!

Easy Asian Marinade / Dressing / Sauce

This Chinese inspired recipe is the most delicious combination of simple ingredients to easily recreate in your own kitchen.

Fabulous to marinate meat, fish/seafood or veggies for a BBQ. Or if you want to drizzle over steamed fish to add buckets of additional flavour or dash in the pan at the beginning and end of a stir fry. I love homemade (or shop bought) dumplings and this is the prefect sauce to dip and eat those perfect little pillows of sensational yumminess. All in all, this adds up to a winner, winner Asian dinner.

Recipe : Dash olive oil

4 tbsp hoisin sauce

4 tbsp dry white wine OR sherry OR Chinese rice wine

2 tbsp honey

4 tbsp soy sauce

2 fresh chillies OR 1 tsp dry flakes

2 tbsp freshly grated ginger OR 1 tsp ground

2 cloves garlic, crushed OR 1 tsp jarred stuff

Combine well and use as you like.

PROFILING THE BEST CLUBS AND EVENTS ON CAMPUS

So, what is UCRed?

UC RED

Are you interested in getting involved with an awesome cause? This is an opportunity for you! UCRed, the Red Cross club on campus, is looking for members.

The NZ Red Cross’ mission is to improve the lives of vulnerable people by mobilizing the power of humanity and enhancing community resilience. We have seven fundamental principles that guide us in all that we do which are: Humanity, Impartiality, Neutrality, Independence, Voluntary Service, Unity and Universality.

UCPC

Kia ora and welcome to the UC Photography Club! Formed at the tail-end of 2017 by 8 plucky hobbyists, we’re an up-and-

UCRed functions as a bridge between UC students and the Red Cross. We help gather student volunteers for Red Cross fundraising efforts, increase the visibility of the Red Cross on campus and help to provide discounted first aid courses for UC students (looking at you future engineers!).

Some upcoming events are:

22nd March Red Rose Day: This is the Red Cross’ major fundraising event

8th of May: World Red Cross Day

8th-31st May: Red Cross Journey. Find out more about this awesome event online

We also are looking at having some amazing speakers come in to speak with students about their experiences with Red Cross. On the cards is Olivier Lacoua who is running 100 marathons in order to fundraise for the NZ Red Cross. If you would be keen to volunteer with us, inquire about discounted first aid or just learn more, please contact club president Kate Byrne at redcrossatuc@gmail.com

coming club dedicated to sharing our passion for photography. We accept members of any skill level and background. Whether your experience is solely with your smartphone or you own a DSLR,

or even if you have no experience at all, we’d love to have you!

This year we plan to hold many events, including repeating last years successful “Photography Walk” around the city. For our less confident photographers we are also hoping to hold workshops, the topics of which will include editing, basic photography rules, lighting, composition and more. Finally, we also plan to hold competitions and mini exhibitions to showcase the work of our members. If the UC Photography Club sounds like your cup of tea or you would like to help out, come see us at clubs day!

Alternatively, feel free to email us at photographyclubuc@gmail.com

UC BIKE

If you own a bicycle, you should be a signed-up member of UC Bike. Unofficially the largest student-led bike club in New Zealand, we have something for everyone, whether you are a casual or competitive. We cater for all different types of riding, and have events to suit roadies, mountain bikers, and everything in between.

Some of our most popular events are classic foo san BYO’s (run most terms), movie nights and our annual Queenstown trip, coming up in April.

HEALTHY MIND SOC

“We created the Healthy Mind Society this year with the vision of presenting hope and finding help for people struggling in the area of mental health on our campus. We exist to encourage, inform, inspire and advocate for mental

We also put on a trip away to a different part of New Zealand every year to sample some different riding.

This year the plan is to head up north to Nelson to indulge in some riding at the Wairoa Gorge Bike Park and around the wider region. We run weekly rides for both MTB and road, which have also proven to be popular.

This year we have also managed to gather the support of a few awesome sponsors, so if you want deals on Biomaxa Products, Pure Sports Nutrition and Em’s Power Cookies then we can offer that.

If you missed us at clubs day and feel like signing up, then get in touch with us on Facebook or email at committee.ucbike@gmail.com

Our events are a great way to meet like-minded people and get a great bunch of friends to go riding with!

Make sure to like us on Facebook (UC Bike) and follow us on Instagram (@uc_bike)!

health awareness.

Our country, and our city, has an incredibly high number of young people struggling with mental health, resulting in an above average suicide rate. University is stressful and can be lonely, scary, and both mentally and emotionally challenging. We hope that by spreading messages of hope and awareness, we can help those in need and bring down the stigmas that are attached to mental health currently.

We are not professionals, doctors or counselors, but we have connections to resources and professionals that can help.

Whether you are passionate about informing others about the truths of mental health issues, wanting to get in behind our events and campaigns, facing mental health struggles yourself,

or just want a safe community where you can really be yourself, battles and all, we would be happy to welcome you.

We will be holding an SGM next term in order to elect a few more general executive members and have an open discussion about mental health on our campus and how we can best make a difference. We would love for you to join us. If you are interested in getting involved with the exec, email us at healthymindsoc@ gmail.com for more details. Otherwise, follow us on Facebook for updates about the SGM and other upcoming events.

We’d love to get as many people involved as possible in order to make the biggest impact so get in contact.

ask a pharmacist

Why do I get charged different amounts for my prescriptions?

The New Zealand Government set all the rules around what medicines will be funded and how much patients pay.

Everyone who is eligible for publicly funded health services should in most circumstances pay only a $5 co-payment for subsidised medicines (for each separate medicine on the prescription), although co-payments can vary from $0, once you have a prescription subsidy card, to $15 for Dental and non Hospital Specialist prescriptions (the $15 will be reduced to $5 if you have a community services card).

Sometimes the government choose not to pay the entire cost of the medicine and they expect the patient to pay the difference between the cost and the government subsidy (Respigen inhaler is fully funded, Ventolin has a small surcharge (they are both the same medicine and strength)). Usually there is a fully funded option where you don’t have to pay extra, we will normally discuss this with you.

Sometimes the government choose to only pay for a specific quantity of a medication. Ketoconazole shampoo for example is only funded for one, so if the Dr prescribes two the government will pay for the first one and if you want the second one you will have to pay for it yourself.

Repeats are free for fully funded medicines but watch the expiry date of the repeat noted on the label, the government only pay if it’s collected within three months of the first supply.

If you are an international student with Student safe insurance ensure the UC Student Health stamp your prescription before leaving the medical centre as the stamp is our authority to claim from your insurance company on your behalf (the insurance company don’t pay for everything, if you are unsure please ask).

If you have Southern cross insurance please let us know as we can automatically send the charges to them for approval and you may not need to pay and claim yourself.

The rule book for funding runs to over 300 pages with many exceptions and other funding streams, if you are unsure about the cost of your medicine please come into University Pharmacy and we will be happy to answer your questions.

Got a question for David our Pharmacist? Email us at canta.editor@gmail.com or pop into the pharmacy for a free, confidential chat.

RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT

challenges. Currently NZ and Australia have similar policies that restrict sell of nicotine-containing e-cigarettes but NZ is working on a new policy to encourage smokers to switch. Australia on its part is maintaining the current restrictive policy. This provides a rare opportunity for a ground-breaking comparison between these two countries when smokefree policy changes occur in one country but not the other.

BRIEFLY EXPLAIN THE KEY METHODOLOGY OF YOUR PROJECT:

Ben Wamamili is a PhD student in the School of Health Sciences assessing the Prevalence of Use and Perceptions of University Students in New Zealand on Vaping, Cigarette Smoking and the Smokefree 2025 Goal.

What inspired you to do a PhD?

I have always been fascinated by research and participated in countless ‘little’ projects since high school. However, the strongest driving force for doing a PhD was having unanswered questions that needed ‘further research’ at the end of my Master’s dissertation project.

WHY IS THIS TOPIC IMPORTANT TO YOU/WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS PROJECT?

First, the project will complete the work I started at Master’s by answering important questions that arose from my dissertation (in 2015) which looked at the impact of higher cigarette taxes on smoking in the US. Vaping was just gaining recognition as a disruptive technology to smoking. Second, no other study has examined vaping in university students in relation to smokefree policies in NZ or Australia, so this project is a first in this regard.

Smoking kills approximately 5,000 Kiwis and costs society over $1.6 billion annually. It also amplifies social inequalities with Māori and Pasifika communities worst affected. For these reasons, NZ committed in 2011 to reduce the proportion of Kiwis aged ≥15years or older who smoke to less than 5% (1 in 20) by 2025. This is the Smokefree 2025 Goal. Currently about 15% of Kiwis smoke.

Many of you might be aware of e-cigarettes; battery powered devices that heat a cartridge containing a solution that becomes a vapour for the user to inhale in a simulated smoking experience (vaping). Vaping does not contain actual tobacco neither involve burning/ combustion process thus is thought to be a safer alternative to smoking and growing evidence suggests it can help smokers quit.

However, vaping face a range of regulatory

There are two components in this project: 1) the NZ component which will estimate the prevalence of vaping and cigarette smoking, and assess perceptions of university students in NZ on vaping and its potential impact on the Smokefree 2025 goal and 2) the NZAustralia component will examine the influence of policy on vaping and cigarette smoking by comparing data from NZ and Australia.

In the NZ component, baseline data collection is currently underway (March-April) with a follow-up study planned for the same time next year. Current university students across NZ are eligible to participate. Online and paper-based questionnaires are being used. In Australia, data collection is being done through collaborating researchers at four universities who are conducting their own projects on smokefree campus policies; similar core questions are being asked in both components and will be analysed separately and compared.

HOW COULD STUDENTS BE INVOLVED/HELP YOU OUT WITH THIS PROJECT?

Success of this project relies on how representative participants are to the wider NZ university student population in terms of age, gender, ethnicity and categorization as domestic or international. So please take a moment and participate. The survey takes about 10 minutes and you stand a chance to win one of several $100 cash prizes. You can access the survey by scanning the QR code (download a free QR code reader App on your phone) or use the link below. For those who have already participated, thank you!

canterbury.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_di0RiqO6xNkRtL7

ANTI SOCIAL ANTI SOCIAL ANTI SOCIAL

SOCIAL SOCIAL SOCIAL

ATHLETE OF THE WEEK:

GRACE STEINMETZ

This week I has sat down with our Athlete of The Week Grace Steinmetz to talk about rugby, changing her sport and the challenges faced by elite level athletes.

Grace is a third year Law/Commerce student at UC who has been selected for the Black Ferns Sevens Development squad and plays for the Canterbury Sevens team. What makes Grace standout as an athlete is that rugby sevens has only recently become her primary sport.

Grace, who comes from Paraparaumu on the Kapiti Coast, has been a touch player most of her life starting at age 5 in primary-school. She proved to be a talented player from a young age making many National age group Mixed Touch teams and was awarded Touch Player of the year at the Wellington College Sport Awards in 2015. For the past three years she has been training with the National Mixed Open Touch team as they prepare for the 2019 World Cup in Malaysia.

However, in just the past few months Grace has let go of her world cup dreams, to take on a bigger and tougher challenge, the opportunity to play for the Black Fern Sevens. Her recent course change towards Rugby Sevens came by chance when former All Black Sevens player and coach of the Taranaki Sevens, Warwick Lahmert asked if she would like to play in a Sevens weekend tournament.

The tournament proved to be career changing for Grace. “I had some time off touch for injuries and had planned to return once I’d recovered, but I really enjoyed the tournament, and wanted to see if I could play Sevens.” Her friend Taylor Aldridge, a rugby player who is also in the UC Sport Academy Program, took her along to an open training session for the Canterbury team; her skills and fitness from impressed the coaches.

Grace was selected for the Canterbury Sevens which went to Rotorua to compete at nationals in January. Although the Canterbury team didn’t make the finals, Grace was a standout player and was selected for the 25-woman strong Black Fern Development squad, and now trains with her fellow squad-mates at the Performance Centre in Rugby Park.

The change from touch to sevens may have happened quickly, but for Grace it hasn’t all been easy. “Touch rugby was hard but always felt capable of the

competition. Sevens rugby has been a real step up, it’s been a massive challenge.” Many of the skills from her years playing touch have been very transferable, but there is one area which Grace has found difficult, “Tackling. This is my first contact sport and mentally it’s been a challenge to get my head around tackling. It’s just something I need to get comfortable doing.”

However, it wasn’t just the contact and competition which were tough, “Touch has been my focus for so long it was hard to give it up for something new, but it was too big of an opportunity to miss.”

Unlike touch, Sevens rugby is a professional sport, with an intense development program and a pathway to the Black Ferns team and a professional career. The Black Fens Development squad includes athletes from across the country who train in their local regions. “There are a few days where I go to the gym at 6am and head to a lecture at 9am, so it’s pretty intense”. Of course, that is to be expected, a higher level of funding and support means there are higher expectations of the athletes, but Grace doesn’t wear that responsibility too heavily joking that, “I still make it to Mono.”

Grace has just been selected for a 13-member training camp and is heading to Tauranga for 5 days. This is the second of four training camps in the lead up to Oceania tournament later this year, with the final team to be named in July. If you’d like to see Grace play you can get out and support every weekend for her 15 a side club team. Although… “I’m playing for Lincoln, I hope that doesn’t make me a traitor!”. I think we can give you a pass.

Training, Study and a Social Life can be a lot to manage, and the UC Sports Academy has a hand in helping student athletes like Grace balance their various commitments. A program run by UC sport, it aims to provide performance support and services to high performing student-athletes who compete at a regional or national level. You can find out more at www.canterbury.ac.nz/sport/sportsacademy/

By Robert Brownlee

Grac e (r i ght) with team - mate B e c k y Dav i ds on

AND SO GOD SENT A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS

…SHOULD WE BE EATING INSECTS?

My sister surprised me the other week by stringing together a sentence that I frankly hadn't considered possible. "Oh yay, my honey roasted crickets have arrived!" While my first instinct should have been to question the quality of her frontal lobe, I correctly guessed that it had something to do with her budding interest in sustainability.

"The UN says that insects will be the protein source of the future!" And she's dead right! As an article by The Guardian kindly paraphrased for me, our crunchy exo-skeletal friends could be the answer to the struggle to find a "nutritional and sustainable protein supply", which is described as "one of the defining challenges of the coming decades."

I won't lie, I'm not rushing to dig out the old butterfly net, but I'm fascinated by the concept of insect-based protein. Crawlers, a small Auckland based company, specialises in all-things-edible-insect, with a focus on sustainability.

Their products range from Cricket spaghetti to milk chocolate covered tarantula, and their hashtag #cookwithcrawlers shows some of the delicious meals and treats created with insect based ingredients.

With the resource thirsty meat and dairy industries running the planet into the ground, it may be time to put our buggy prejudices aside and try something that, to us, seems a bit out there. After all, if you can try deep fried scorpion in Thailand, I'm sure you could eat it at home, too.

By Josie Hepburn

Read more from Josie at theecomindedindividual.blogspot.co.nz crawlers.co.nz/collections/edible-insects

DON’T WAIT TILL IT HURTS (PLEASE)

Acommon misconception about teeth is that they are perfectly fine if they do not cause you any discomfort. This is not true. Teeth can develop decay and you will not notice any pain. Teeth cannot heal themselves so once that decay is there, it will need to be removed by a dentist if the decay is of a certain size. If the decay grows and ends up hitting the nerve of your tooth, this is when you feel the pain. By this time, it may be too late for a general filling and you may need a root canal. So the moral of the story is to get a check-up appointment every year to catch issues while they are small. This will be much cheaper than waiting 10 years and then realising you need three root canals, which can cost over $1,000 each.

HOW TO REDUCE BAD BREATH?

Bad breath can be due to a number of factors. Most commonly it is related to strong smelling food that you have eaten or poor oral hygiene. Sometimes you can avoid garlic or onions and you will notice your bad breath fades away over time.

Poor oral hygiene can lead to bad breath because old food will be sitting in your mouth and between your teeth. If you do not brush and floss, that food will stay there and slowly decay. Your mouth will essentially be the same as your smelly green compost bin! So it is best to clean your teeth twice a day to avoid smelly breath. And flossing will help to remove the food stuck between your teeth that your toothbrush will not be able to remove.

IS TEETH WHITENING WORTH IT?

Whitening teeth professionally can actually make your teeth feel more sensitive to hot and cold food and drinks. If you already have sensitive teeth, it is recommended that you do not whiten your teeth because it will make the sensitivity far worse.

If you really want whiter teeth, it is best to go to a dentist about this. Using the “at-home” teeth whitening kits will not give you the same results as going to a dentist.

A common thought is that if your teeth are yellow, then they are not healthy. This is not always true. Teeth naturally change colour with age and with different diets. People who drink tea and coffee regularly may have staining on their teeth due to the drinks. Getting your teeth cleaned once a year by a hygienist can help remove some of the staining. This will keep your teeth and gums healthy as well as pretty.

WHAT TO DO WITH WISDOM TEETH ISSUES?

Wisdom teeth usually start to grow in around your early 20s. It is important to keep the wisdom teeth areas really clean. This means brushing as far back as you can and using a mouthwash. When the teeth start to grow in, food can get trapped in the broken gum and this is how infections can start. Mouthwash will help pull up anything that is stuck in the gum. There is also a specific mouthwash called, Savacol, which has infection fighting goodness in it to help. Please be sure to follow the instructions on the bottle. You can buy this at pharmacies.

When the wisdom teeth grow in, this will be painful. You can use ibuprofen and paracetamol to help with the discomfort. Not all wisdom teeth need to be removed but sometimes it is better to remove them if you are having issues.

If you do have an infection, it will be extremely painful and you may have some swelling. You should visit a dentist in this case.

WANT MORE INFORMATION?

The UCSA offers a subsidised dental scheme for general dental needs. Please see our website for the full details on UCSA Dental: http://ucsa.org.nz/studentsupport/dental/

You can also email Jessica, the Dental Coordinator, with any questions: jessica.andronico@ucsa.org.nz

The Maidstoners

Meg, Georgia, Kendal, Courtney and Snoep

5 stress balls just trying to get through university, one day at a time.

Kicking it back on a Sunday, smashing the test on Wednesday, and grooving it on a Thursday. The way Uni should be.

The Maidstoners won a ‘flat night out’ at Harringtons Brewery for food and beer tasting, AND two dozen Icebreaker to take home.

Want to see your flat in CANTA? Email canta@canta.co.nz

Photography by Java Katzur

ON FREE SPEECH

Some weeks ago, Max Farra wrote an article about safe spaces, no-platforming at universities and cultural appropriation. I disagreed with many of his representations so I am responding to them here.

Like Max, I too hate the phrase “PC gone mad.” It’s normally used by racists, homophobes and misogynists who are angry that expressing their awful views in public brings negative personal consequences.

Unlike Max, I realize that safe spaces exist within universities because certain groups face a daily barrage of vile opinions, bullying and abuse and sometimes they need a temporary escape. Safe spaces don’t protect students from the cruelties of the real world, rather they grant a respite from it.

Supporting diverse or even controversial beliefs sounds very noble in the abstract. However, things start looking different with detailed scenarios. If group A believes in wiping out an entire race and group B is made up of members of that race, it’s dangerous to treat both viewpoints as being equally valid. This isn’t the same as someone who is Catholic speaking about the tenets of their faith someone who is Buddhist.

Universities give an air of legitimacy to the individuals they invite to speak. Platforms appear to carry implicit support for the ideas being expressed. If a guest to our university gives a talk entitled “Women: what even are they?” it looks like the university has also been struggling with the question of whether or not women are actually human beings.

Take the odd case of Milo Yiannopoulos, a young, gay man of Jewish descent who was so thirsty that he became the walking definition of an edgelord. He pretended that being gay was an aberrant lifestyle choice and encouraged his Twitter followers to threaten the life of actor Leslie Jones. He flirted with anti-Semites, condoned hatred of Muslims and soothed the frazzled nerves of men’s rights advocates with scathing commentary on the idiocy of feminists. Milo’s views were well represented in the media before he ever set foot on a university as a guest speaker. His alt-right popularity ended only after he made comments which seemed to support paedophilia. The lesson here- it’s perfectly fine to foment a hatred of women and minorities but kiddie fiddling is a shade too far.

A policy of no platforming at universities will not silence the Milos or transphobic Germaine Greers of the world.

Alternative outlets continue to exist and welcome their verbal diarrhoea. Case in point; Milo was recently allowed to slime his was back to the Breitbart website where he now shills snake oil vitamin supplements.

Max’s column also conflated equal cultural exchange with cultural appropriation. He used toga parties as an example appropriating Greek and Roman culture. Togas don’t normally set off alarm bells because the garment fell out of common usage more than 1,600 years ago and because we still admire the ancient Greeks and Romans for their contributions to philosophy, infrastructure and systems of government.

Cultural appropriation usually involves an imbalance of power brought about by colonialism. A better example from Max might have been the use of Native American war bonnets by non-native Americans. This is harmful because a member of the dominant group has degraded and misused a cultural object held sacred by the minority group.

Just imagine growing up with the knowledge that your land was stolen, your people massacred and your language outlawed in schools. Now imagine some high af white girl prancing around Coachella wearing the headdress your chiefs had to earn through hard work and personal sacrifice. Countless native voices have asked for this to stop, yet it continues.

Max said it is heartening to hear pakeha delivering a powhiri. I agree but must point out this is an example of an equal cultural exchange. Here, Maori are teaching their culture to pakeha who will in turn use it respectfully and in its proper context. More of that is always welcome.

Max also posited that Bob Jones was being facetious when he suggested that Maori should be subservient to pakeha. After reading up on Bob, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s been stuck in a perpetual state of facetiousness for most of his adult life. That’s one hell of a long game.

Sure, Bob is entitled to his racist, tone deaf opinions. The thing is, his entitlement doesn’t grant him the right to publication.

Powerful people who enjoy attacking vulnerable groups are not owed a platform on social networks, in print media or at universities.

As Max notes, the right to free speech guarantees freedom from government persecution, nothing more.

The kids of today are not trigger-prone, cosseted snowflakes. They still receive exposure to awful ideas and nasty behaviour. Thankfully, certain universities have realized they don’t have to be the sources for such things.

By Kelly Phillips

PIPES, POUNAMU & PROFIT

When one imagines the West Coast, we might imagine a gorgeous rainforest, with clear waters and snowcapped peaks rising above the horizon line.

Unbeknownst to most though, there is a dark side to this side of New Zealand, and can be summarized by the title of this piece.

I'm an amateur jade carver, still finding my way around the industry, but what has shocked me the most is how oblivious some can be to the hypocrisy and corruption that has infiltrated one of the highest earners in New Zealand.

Take for example the Arahura; privately owned, most famous source of Nephrite jade. Yet despite its sacred status, cows and sheep defecate in it, Didimo clings to the boulders of the river bed, and Mawhera incorporated owns all rights and access to the water body for much of its length.

The wharenui above the river is richly decorated in the stone of the ancestors, while the people living on the Arahura settlement live below the poverty line, despite Mawhera making millions of dollars in pounamu sales from the river on their doorstep and other sources on the west coast annually.

At this point you might think, sure that's bad, but it’s their right isn't it as Maori to decide what happens to their stone and their river? and I would agree, but many people even in the settlement have taken it upon themselves to sell greenstone so they can buy... crack.

P. Meth.

Call it what you want, but the mana of the stone is being depleted by the very people who claim to value it so highly, leading to a P epidemic that no politician will touch with a barge pole.

Even the legitimate buyers and sellers like "Kai Tahu Pounamu" and "Mountain Jade" (owned by an American with zero ties to mana whenua) exploit tones

of good quality, raw stone overseas every year to be carved overseas, while it remains illegal for anyone without the correct whakapapa/genealogy to take the smallest cobble of jade from any river/river mouth/lake/ glacier within the kai tahu runanga. (that is anywhere from the Buller river southwards).

Don't kai tahu buy stone from gold miners of all ethnicities? True. But they pay the miner less than 20% the value of the stone, and charge over 100x the stone's value, even for low grade stone, in their "kai tahu pounamu" registration scheme.

Kai Tahu runanga/tribal area, despite what some may think, is not the only source of Jade either. but that's a tale for another time.

Ehara nei i te kerengeo i rapa ana ki te airona"clay does not stick to iron" (Maori proverb)

By Jasper Force

THE RDU THE RDU THE RDU

DEATH BOWLING AT THE DARKROOM with SPAWTS, BEST BETS & TWO CARTOONS

SAT 31st MARCH

Location: darkroom

Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

TOM LEE-RICHARDS with RYAN FISHERMAN AND MATTY VON VOIN

SUN 9 th APRIL

Location: Blue Smoke Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

DZ DEATHRAYS with BEST BETS

WED 23 RD MAY Location: Blue Smoke Tickets: Undertheradar.co.nz

MARLEY

FRI 6TH APRIL

Location: The Bedford

Tickets: Eventfinda

MARK WILKINSON

THU 12 TH APRIL

Location: Blue Smoke

Tickets: MarkWilkinsonmusic.com

RDU

presents

MARLON WILLIAMS

WED 23 RD MAY Location: The Foundry Tickets: Ticketmaster.co.nz

DOWNLOAD THE RDU APP

* Stream RDU wherever you want.

* RDUnited and VPlate - now built into the app!

* Find out about new offers as they are added.

* See how far you are from a sweet discount.

A FEW NOTES Music

with

Lewis Hoban

you should really be listening to.

SUPERORGANISM – SUPERORGANISM

What we have here is the self-titled debut album of an eight-person indie collective, who also happen to be this week’s ‘new hotness’. Interestingly enough, a few members of who, fun fact, were actually from a NZ band called The Eversons, and formed when they met Japanese high schooler and smol bean Orono Noguchi, owner of those tell-tale April-Ludgate-type apathetic lead vocals, who found them though her Youtube suggestions and subsequently bonded with them over Facebook memes. I’m not making any of this up. This truly is the future, as strange and post-ironic as it may be.

While the music is undefinable in that special little way the ‘indie’ genre is, with its mix of pop-rock riffs and familiar counter-culture-commentary rallying against the slow death march of society through capitalist waste and socialmedia infantilization -- fun times, eh? -- I can’t deny the songs are immediately catchy and crafty. Seems crazy, there may be more to this octet of seasoned twentysomethings fronted a four-foot-tall Japanese schoolgirl than just the bemusing image – something self-conscious and clever.

REMO DRIVE – POP MUSIC

Do you remember being a teenager who was angry at everything? Did you use the word ‘pwned’ or getting annoyed when your parents wouldn’t let you wear shirts with skulls on them? Did you own a pair of jeans with rips in the knees before they started getting sold pre-ripped? Well then you might recognise a lot of motifs present in this new Remo Drive album. I personally never got the whole Emo scene, but the music definitely stirs up those uncomfortable emotions I thought I left behind in High School.

SHANNON & THE CLAMS – THE ONION

Technically this one came out back in February, but I love this band something fearsome, so we’re just gonna ignore that. I was originally gonna talk about the new Of Montreal, but I woke up in a cold sweat (as I always do) realising I forgot to cover the new Clams record. For their latest outing the band has managed to sand down their past beachy rawness into strangely smooth garage punk – not hard enough to pump your fist and jump around and kick shit over. It’ll make you wanna cut a rug instead of cut a someone.

(STUFF YOU SHOULD ALSO CHECK OUT) Naked Giants – Sluff

TOP FIVE GAME OF THRONES FAN THEORIES

Before we start, I’d just like to say !!SPOILER ALERT!! Although I want to question why one may not have seen Game of Thrones already, I feel the need to state: if you are planning on watching this TV series, I suggest you turn your page now.

However, if you are indeed someone who enjoys quality TV (boobs) and you have seen GOT, then I’d like to discuss some of the best fan theories for season 8. First off - a disclaimer *These are not my theories*. Although I am a great fan, I am not a fanatic, but I do enjoy guesstimating. Secondly, I’d like to take a minute’s silence for the death of the many characters we so dearly loved, i.e., Dragon number Three a.k.a. Viserion #RIP.

These are the most common theories I found while researching, and also my favourite because they, to me, just seem like the most possible and likely to happen.

sexual tension between these two beautiful people, in fact, I’m here for it. Now don’t get me wrong, incest is not good and it’s illegal and I’m not condoning it. But there’s a difference between knowing you’re boning your hot Aunty, and not knowing that the girl you’re boning is your Aunty altogether. What I’m saying here is, neither of them are aware of their blood relationship, Jon being a Snow and all, and the Targaryen bloodline being almost extinct. So to them, it’s an innocent act of love and passion. What is really getting me riled up is the suspense in waiting to know if and/or when they’ll find out, and whether they’ll make a sexy, incestuous baby or not? Someone get me a paternal test please.

This one is pretty gross, Daenerys being Jon’s Aunty and all, but incest aside, I ship this. I mean, GOT is already pretty f*cked, so I’m not even surprised at the

This one is pretty muddled because of the whole time travelling but not actually time travelling plot. Pretty much, the theory is that Bran three-eyedraven’s his way back to when the white walkers were just becoming trendy and then he gets himself white ‘walkered' and ends up becoming the Night King. I find this believable because Bran in the latest seasons has been such a useless character who keeps messing up and I will never forgive him for the whole “Hodor/Holdthe-door incident”. However, there are other similar theories about him three-eyed-raven-ing his way back and building the wall as ‘Bran the Builder’ which is also plausible, but much less ironic and funny. I’m mostly keen to see where his character ends up, because he seems like he’ll either help in a great and meaningful way, or he’ll ruin things again, or he’ll say some more inappropriate shit about his sister’s wedding night. There is no in between for him.

1. JON AND DAENERYS WILL DISCOVER THEY ARE RELATED

2. BRAN IS THE NIGHT KING OR SOMETHING SIMILAR

This one is my favourite because even though Cersei lost all her children and her husband and is just so lonely and drunk all the time, she’s still the biggest asshole who raises hell for her own selfish reasons. Jamie killing Cersei would be the most satisfactory death (after Joffrey of course), and the biggest FU to her privileged ass. On the other hand, Cersei’s death would mean the end of the Lannister lineage on the Iron Throne, and therefore her house would no longer be a contender for Westeros’s worst Monarchy. From that aspect, I don’t expect her death to be in the first episode, they’ll leave it till the end, when Jamie stabs her in the back in a twisted and incestuous Romeo and Juliet type scene and he inevitably dies immediately after her. After all, they were born into this world together, and they’ll leave this world together . . . hopefully.

find out at the very end of the series, but it ultimately means we’ll find out who wins. However, I doubt that Westeros will have peace for very long, and I’d put money on a spin-off occurring in a few years time.

I mean, come on, this has got to be in everyone’s theories list. The Night King has an endless army of dead, he’s hot AF, and also he has his own ZombieDragon. I have no idea how or what will be able to defeat him except for a possible spell cast on the iron throne (or the throne swords are made from Valerian steal) that immediately kills him and all his zombie followers. I, for one, welcome our white walker overlords. However, on the slim chance that he is defeated before sitting on the throne, I doubt he’ll die without taking a few thousand with him and pretty much pressing restart on Westeros’s political problems altogether. Once again, this is a theory that we will only

I love this one because maybe, just maybe, Sean Bean will defy expectations and come back to life and reclaim the throne, and all will be well with the Stark children. This one is just so implausible that it’s plausible. That being said, the one thing we can all count on in GOT is that death is the only constant. That’s the best part of the show, we can be certain that death is the end of that character. BUT NOT ANYMORE. Jon Snow’s resurrection, Bran’s timetravel, the whole intertwining bloodlines means that I don’t even know anymore. Maybe Ned Stark is still alive, and maybe Sophie Turner will bring Joe Jonas into the show, and Nick and Kevin will join too. And then Demi Lovato will inspire us to be who we are and we’ll fight for Westeros through song and dance and we’ll all sing Cake by the Ocean till Euron Greyjoy realises he’s being a dick to Theon, and Lily Allen will sing Alfie and it becomes the Grammy’s in 2006 and Game of Thrones was never made and we all lived happily ever after having never become emotionally (and physically) invested in this God awful, fuck me up George R. R. Martin, eat my ass Cercei, lets all burn together, TV Show. This whole series is one big f*ckfest and I’m here for it. Hit me with your car and tell me your GOT fan theories, Daddy.

Either way, we won’t know what will actually happen until next year (2019) when the 8th and final season comes out. However, until then, it’s pretty safe to assume that anything can and will happen because Game of Thrones is a soulless and crushing show where everyone dies and nothing in this dark and futile life matters.

By Fisi Belle-Carrasco

3. JAMIE WILL KILL CERSEI

4. THE NIGHT KING WILL SIT ON THE IRON THRONE

5. NED STARK IS STILL ALIVE

CANTA COLUMNS

Hi Grandma, What do girls like more, boxers or briefs on a man?

From, Not Sure How To Impress Girls

NGAIRE KNOWS BEST

Dear Grandma, You seem to know a lot about making a relationship work. My boyfriend Jez isn’t very good at talking to me and prefers hanging out with his mates. We’ve been dating like three months now and my friends say he doesn’t love me enough. What’s your advice?

Sarah

Hello Sarah,

Did you wake up a bit funny and take a sip from the stupid cup? Three months?! Oh my dear girl, that’s not a relationship, that’s a waste a time. A woman should never chase a man, you are not the IRD chasing me to pay tax for my webcam shows.

If this chap wants to spend time with his friends and not you? LET HIM. Never waste your time on a man who doesn’t want you.

I think you’re neat! And this loser is called Jez. He sounds like he’s got a wonky eye.

Enough said, Grandma

Hello young male friend, You’re trying to impress girls and I think that’s terrific. I bet you’re a handsome virile man with a lot to offer. Maybe offer to an older, more experience woman? After all, the more miles on the car the better it rides aye? How bout that? Come give Nanny a big kiss. And my preference? Is no knickers at all.

All my love, Ngaire

THE F-WORD

UC FemSoc and UC Thursdays in Black Society were pleased with a great turnout for their #MeToo Panel Discussion on International Women’s Day, 8 March. If you weren’t able to make it, here’s a brief overview.

HISTORY OF #METOO

The phrase was coined in 2006-2007 by Tarana Burke, a survivor of sexual assault, when she started a not-forprofit U.S. organisation to help victims of sexual harassment and assault.

Then in October 2017, actor Ashley Judd accused media mogul Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment in The New York Times, and actor Alyssa Milano helped turned #MeToo into a

hashtag when she asked women who had experienced sexual harassment and assault to reply to her tweet.

#MeToo has since been shared widely and prompted a global movement. In Hollywood, actors have been wearing black in solidarity and backing a new initiative called “Time’s Up”. It establishes a legal defence fund and encourages studios and agencies to strike a 50/50 gender balance of power within two years.

In New Zealand, broadcaster Alison Mau has launched an investigation into sexual harassment with #metoonz and #ahauhoki. There is a dedicated team of journalists looking into cases and a system to help survivors lay a police complaint or get counselling. Mau can be contacted privately, which hundreds have already done.

PANEL DISCUSSION

The event opened with a karakia and the setting up of an atmosphere where people could discuss these difficult issues. Topics included the concept of innocent until proven guilty and possible ways of treating victims with more care. It is important to remember the agency of survivors and that they are not defined by their experience. Issues with language were discussed, including how many people are uncomfortable with words for genitalia and sexual functions, which perpetuates shame and stigma. There was also an important challenge regarding whether it is time for UC to put down some rules about what is acceptable for sexual relations between lecturers and students, to recognise power imbalances. Another thing mentioned was that the worst thing you can tell someone is that they didn’t ‘victim’ the right way. The ways women are discredited are historic but ongoing, such as being considered over-emotional, and need to be delegitimised.

The event closed with Aviva Family Violence Services saying that if we stay silent, we conform and allow it to happen. Be brave enough to ask if someone is okay and support them.

COLUMNS

DEPT. OF SPIRITUAL ENGINEERING

As you’re probably aware in few weeks’ time UC students (and the rest of New Zealand) will take an extended break to celebrate a religious festival I like to call “Easter”. Now, for your average Kiwi it’s a time to gorge on novelty eggs over an extra-long weekend. For Christians it’s a time to remember the death (Good Friday) and resurrection (Easter Sunday) of a chap called Jesus Christ. The death bit is pretty much accepted by most historians as a historical fact, while the resurrection bit, understandably, is more hotly contested.

wound, the fragments of bone and flesh oozing. I wonder if halfway through his finger test he feels that tinge of regret - like when we ask our friends to show us their pus-ridden wounds, and then wish we hadn’t. I wonder if he washed his hands afterwards before eating. I guess this painting reminds me that when it comes to faith (be it religious, scientific, or capitalistic) - no questions should be off limits, and no beliefs should escape the right to be prodded.

But doubt can be a funny thing. The philosopher Rene Descartes famously uttered the phrase “I think, therefore I am.” But what most people haven’t heard is the unabbreviated version, that included just two extra key words. But those two words make a huge difference: “I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am.”

And because of these two little words, over the past few hundred years humans have become experts at doubting and critiquing and question-asking and deconstructing virtually everything. In fact, most uni students I talk to seem to have become experts at asking the hard, critical questions - but very few students appear to have anything of much substance they can solidly say, hand-on-heart, “well, that’s what I believe.”

She/It does exist, but He/She/It doesn’t want to be found?”

Well deconstructed!

*insert sound of brain imploding here*

I meet so many students who are stuck in this horrible, doubting, deconstructing circleof-doom - where they find themselves in a never-ending “paralysis by analysis”. So, for all you doubting Thomas’ at UC - here’s some advice to help you escape the Death-spiral-of-Doubt.

Ask yourself this: Am I openly and honestly questioning this thing in the hope I will gain clarity about what is true?

Or, am I just doubting everything in the hope that I won’t come to any conclusions, and can then lead a life without any beliefs or convictions that force me to make tough decisions?

When Thomas faced up to his doubts of Jesus’ resurrection at Easter, he took the plunge, he bravely insisted on thrusting his fingers into Jesus’ wounds so his doubting could take a tangible step towards being resolved –and he could then live a life of conviction. So, the next time you feel racked with doubt over some issue – why not be brave - and give the Thomas approach a try?

One of my favourite Easter artworks, by Italian painter Caravaggio in 1601 is called “The Incredulity of Saint Thomas” aka “Tom the Cynic”. Thomas is the disciple who famously wanted proof that Jesus was actually back from the dead and demanded to stick his finger into Jesus’ wounds. He was the original “Doubting Thomas”. I just I love how gruesome the painting is. I imagine Thomas squishing his finger in Jesus’

“Does my boyfriend really love me? Or does he just think he loves me?”

Great question!

“Is this degree really what I want to do with my life? And isn’t a degree just a social construct anyway?!”

Good point!

“Do I really exist? Or am I just a simulation in a giant computer game? Or not!?”

Nice hypothetical conundrum!

“Could a God exist? Or maybe not?! But then again what if He/

Get specific on the thing you want to question - do the research to try and get to the bottom of it –and then be courageous enough to live into the consequences of your convictions. After all - isn’t that what your time at University is supposed to be all about?

Happy Easter!

– SPANKY

with your Chaplain, Rev Spanky Moore!

Queertiquette

University is hella scary. At any moment, you can just start getting Cs in all of your courses, and just teeter between passing and falling into the void inside Rod Carr’s mysterious ‘activities’ room in Level 1 of Puaka-James Hight. Being gay is also hella scary. At any moment while getting it on and bangin’ boys ( ), you can get HIV. Fuck. That escalated quickly. That means that at any moment, death can just knock at your door and it’s bye bye Gays™, right?

Just like your university degree, safe sex for gay and bi men is a balancing act. Something drastic can happen and all of a sudden, you’re on the verge of failing all your classes. Your transcript’s a mess and your GPA looks like your bank account the day before student allowance is due. This doesn’t mean though that your degree is worthless and that you have to drop out—same goes for gay and bi men who get HIV.

Getting HIV no longer means the death sentence that old uncle Bazza kept yapping on about from

when he witnessed the beginning of the worldwide AIDS epidemic in the 80s. Humanity as a collective is remarkable at solving issues through technological and medical advancements, and we’ve created a plethora of different medications that keep the virus at bay, allowing HIV-positive individuals to live completely healthy, normal lives. They can even keep on having sex without worrying about transmitting the virus to anyone else. How sick is that!

When caught early enough, HIV can be subdued and repressed, kind of like my sexuality while growing up in a religious high school. The medication pretty much tells the virus to sit down and be humble. After a certain period of time, it makes people undetectable, meaning that HIV is, well, undetectable in their blood and semen. This doesn’t mean that they’re free of the virus, but it does mean that they can’t transmit the virus to anyone else, so long as they continue taking their medication regularly and without fail. Therefore undetectable = untransmittable (U=U).

The most pressing issue for

gay and bi men is making sure they get tested regularly. This means getting a full sexual health screen every three months. Getting tested regularly means reducing two big risks: having the virus and spreading it without knowing, and making sure that it can be diagnosed and treated as early as possible.

AIDS is the final progression of HIV. It means that the immune system is being told to sit down and be humble, and death is on its way from the creepy depths of the part of your mind where embarrassing flashbacks come from. Safe sex for gay and bi guys isn’t just about preventing STIs—it’s also about preventing a disease, which has killed approximately 33-35 million people worldwide1, 2 since the start of the AIDS epidemic, from killing gay and bi men in New Zealand.

I emphasise gay and bi men since they unfortunately make up 95% of new infections in New Zealand, since they are most at risk of transmitting it through unprotected anal sex and ‘chemsex’, which is sex involving drugs. 3 It’s pretty clear from the name of the virus however—Human

Immunodeficiency Virus—that it’s something that can affect anyone: women, straight men, and that person at Mono that was giving you those ‘fuck me’ eyes last week.

If you’re reading this and you’ve just found out you’ve been diagnosed with HIV: a wise man once wrote, “don’t panic!”. Just like any failing student out there, all you need is to just get help from the right people as early as possible. You can never ask for help too early, but you can risk asking for help too late. Getting help early means a much greater chance of success, for both your degree and your health. It doesn’t mean that you have to drop out and that life is futile, it simply means that you’ll have to take a few pills everyday and do sexual health tests for the rest of your life (which you should be doing anyway, even when you’re getting it on in the retirement village).

If you’re reading this and you’re at high risk of getting HIV— because you hate condoms (and

your sexual health apparently), have high-risk encounters, or you take intravenous drugs—you’ll be excited to know that PrEP is now funded in New Zealand. This medication is used in the treatment for HIV-positive individuals, but short- and medium-term studies have found that using it as a preexposure treatment successfully prevents HIV from developing in your body. All just from one pill everyday. How fucking cool is that! Now that it’s funded, it means that you can get a three-month supply for $5, instead of $9000. There are strict rules around funding and who can get it (it’s pretty spenny), so be sure to talk to your GP or a doctor at the sexual health clinic about it if you think you can benefit from it.

I’m no authority on HIV being that I’m HIV-negative, but as everyone should, I’ve educated myself on HIV through authoritative sources like Ending HIV NZ and the New Zealand AIDS Foundation (NZAF). Even if you’re not a gay or bi dude. While we’re still

scrambling for a cure, the best thing anyone can do about HIV is to understand what it is, and most importantly, understand that it’s like an STI in that no one means to give it to anyone—but when you do get it, it sucks. There’s nothing wrong with having HIV: having it doesn’t mean you’re gay, dirty, or sick. Stigmatisation serves to achieve nothing. Don’t make uni and life any more scary than what it is for people at risk of HIV (which is literally everyone): be kind, be understanding, educate yourself, and wear a condom.

By Robert Falcasantos

What are the most important projects for Christchurch over the next 10 years?

Every three years we review our Long Term Plan. We want your views on how best to manage the infrastructure and services that make Christchurch work.

Have your say

ADVENTURES FROM THE SOUTH - TARN HUT -

An overnight tramp that is certainly a well-kept secret. Tarn Hut is a tramp that allows you to escape far enough away from the city of Christchurch to feel like a true adventure but still provides some epic views which set a beautiful backdrop in winter. Walking this as a loop track with a night at Tarn Hut, an easier first day, then returning via Youngman Stream Hut on the second day. It is a tramp that covers a variety of different terrain from alpine tussocks covered in snow, to native New Zealand bush, to farmland all in one day. 5 mates, one adventure, one winter weekend. What are you waiting for?

recommend driving this track unless you have a powerful 4WD that is capable of off-roading.

For directions using google maps, you should be able to use the following coordinates to direct you. -43.125578, 172.211935

ROUTE:

The route we took, followed a loop with the first day accomplishing most of the climbing. The second day was much more about covering distance. The first day was reasonably straightforward, the track follows a wide vehicle track all the way to Tarn Hut where we stayed the night. The second day was a much longer day completing the remaining climb to the summit of Lilburne Hill, descending to Youngman Stream Hut and then travelling south and out via the Youngman Stream Track. The Youngman Stream track connects up to the vehicle track connects up with the parking area at the start of the track.

IN DETAIL:

Day 1 | Time: 6 hours | Distance: 14km | Elevation Gain: 800 m | Difficulty: Medium

Day 2 | Time: 9 hours | Distance: 22km | Elevation Loss: 900 m | Difficulty: Medium

To get to the start of the track you drive out towards Oxford, driving along a windy unsealed road through to Lees Valley. The road is littered with potholes, much like a ski field access without such a steep gradient. The road winds its way through the Canterbury foothills bringing you to Lees Valley, a small plain between two ranges. The start of the 4WD track leading to the start of the track is not obvious, there are no clear signposts to indicate where to turn off the main road. I have tried my best to indicate the start of the track by giving the approximate coordinates to the location of the gate. The 4WD track is unmaintained and rough, I would not

DAY 1:

The first day began with walking along the mellow vehicle track that crossing farmland with many sheep unamused sheep chomping grass the grass. The walking was hardly technically demanding, the smooth vehicle track taking us right up to the split in the road. We were all tempted to jump in for a swim but after having a bit to eat and getting eaten alive by sandflies put an end to that. From the split in the road onward, it was a steady climb up the hill towards Tarn Hut climbing from 600m to 1250m. Definitely, the toughest part of the day was the climb, making sure that we all had enough to eat and drink giving each other enough breaks to recover was important.

The track up to Lilburne Hill was relatively wide and easy to follow zigzagging and climbing steadily to a peak at 1250m from where we could get a solid view of our surroundings, over the valley and out as far as the Canterbury Plains. The ridge followed through the tussock and then climbed higher into the alpine environment. The closer that we got to the hut the deeper the snow became, making the last few hundred metres an absolute slog. A small snow shower greeted us as we arrived into the warmth of Tarn hut. Fortunately, most of the snow was packed with a light dusting on top, we were able to follow footprints that followed the direction of the track to our night’s stay.

a little and we had beautiful views of the valley ahead of us out nor ‘west. As we descended to 1180m the track dropped into the tree line taking us down to Youngman Stream Hut. We crossed the small river and found our way to the hut (about a 5-minute walk) from the main track where we stopped for a late lunch. We found the marker leading to the hut was obscured, you should be able to find an opening just upstream from an inlet that flows into the river.

Youngman stream hut has 6 bunks, there did seem to be a bit of an abundance of sandflies since the hut was so close to the river. There were good facilities with plenty of pots and pans, the beds looked like they would be a comfortable stay. We pushed on, walking next to the river to get back to the car before we lost all light. The track along Youngman Stream was one of the more technically challenging parts of the walk, with people in the party tiring from such a long day it took us longer than expected to tackle this section. There were not very many views but the track was well cut with a few hurdles such as slips and fallen branches to tackle throughout this section of the walk.

The track opened up along to a bit more of a pasture with tussock and not so many trees once we neared the end of the loop, making it back onto the 4WD track. It made the walking a lot easier and it wasn’t much longer until we were out on to the farm track back to the car.

Tarn hut had a stockpile of dry firewood and supplies for the lost tramper in need. It was very well catered for a free basic Hut having extra supplies left from fellow travelers, a good stack of firewood and a small fireplace. The hut has 4 bunks with mattress’ meaning that one unlucky person had to sleep on the cold floor that night. All the crew enjoyed being able to get out on the tarn, the ice being thick enough to hold all five of us all at once. There were a couple of us that had a nasty quick dip in the ice-cold water the edges of the ice being a little thinner. That night in-between the floating clouds we were able to make out the lights of Christchurch glimmering in the distance as we did our best to not freeze while making the quick dash outside for the toilet. The warmth of the hut with good food, good mates and good yarns right through until late at night was a feeling that’s hard to beat.

DAY 2:

The second day was an ‘absolute cracker day’ with blue skies up above with a few bits of patchy low cloud and a chilly start to the day. The hut provided a good sleep for the 5 of us apart from the one man that had to sleep on the floor that night. After a few snow showers through the evening, the walk up towards Lilburn hill proved to be harder work than expected. Ploughing through the softer snow, trying to follow tracks of past hikers as we headed for the summit. Fortunately, none of it had turned frosted over but rather softened letting our feet sink deep into the snow. The route was poled right the way to the summit, providing us with a sense of direction while the track was completely covered in snow.

Not long after descending from the summit the snow started to disappear from under our feet and we were greeted by tussock and mild scree. The cloud cleared up

All up this would have to be one of the most well-rounded tracks that I have done so close to Christchurch. The weather in the area isn’t as changeable as it can be towards the southern alps being more sheltered. In winter, this track is ideal, the snow on the mountains sets a beautiful backdrop yet when after the sun has been on the sun it makes it soft enough to stomp through. With the frozen tarn being a highlight for us all, it proved to be good entertainment and had us curious enough to walk across. I would highly recommend this as a winter adventure. Some prior tramping experience would be highly recommended to complete the circuit safely.

By Nathan James

Tarn Hut is a hidden gem close to Christchurch which should not be missed.

ONE SIDE

First of all, I would like to say that I have never in my life been on a blind date so I was very, very nervous to go on this one.

I was so nervous in fact, that I made my friends go into the restaurant first to order chips at a separate table in case I did something embarrassing and had to run.

The boy was super lovely, smart and tall (BONUS!). Turns out, girls- there are some lovely boys out there, this guy being one of them.

We bonded over mutual drunken stories and a love-hate relationship with law (mostly hate at this point).

Our match maker did well though as I asked for tall and handsome and he over delivered there so thank you for your excellent choice.

Then I thought, ‘wow….he looks familiar’ - funny story, he is friends with a boy that I met at a party a few weeks ago, and may or may not have gone home with!

I spent a portion of the date trying to hint at it with no success, luckily, he did not remember meeting me that night as far as I am aware. Good story, right? Well, it gets even better, as the date went on I was thinking about how nice it was to talk to someone so lovely.

Honestly girls, this guy is a keeper! He is definitely exactly my type and he has hilarious drunk stories which I can totally relate to. Obviously it was going well, and I started to think maybe it didn’t even matter that I accidentally slept with his friend a few

weeks ago. Maybe he won’t even care?

We talked for two and a half hours which is crazy, the restaurant had already closed but the guy working didn’t want to tell us to leave because he felt bad.

He was a proper gentleman and walked me all the way to my car which was a solid trek as anyone who doesn’t have a parking permit knows.

I offered to drop him home and he said yes which I was thinking, yay, I get to spend a bit more time with him. This is great.

However, upon dropping him home I realised that not only is he friends with the guy I slept with they are also flatmates. How embarrassing!

I of course got his number, but I imagined he would never want to talk to me again once he made the connection as to who I was.

Over all, it was a super awesome date. Thanks CANTA for some food and alcohol to calm my nerves after realising I knew my blind date.

To my blind date, you are awesome and if you ever want to take me on another date I would be super keen.

I can imagine that after seeing this you probably won’t talk to me again, I will however give you a glowing review to all the girls out there.

THE OTHER SIDE

In Queenstown, we have a rule. This rule states that if you get with someone your friend has already got with, you owe them a dollar. Remember this, it will become important later…

The person who walked into The Shilling Club that day was somewhat nervous, but also excited.

My date on the other hand seemed only a tiny bit shy. But once seated, we quickly got off on a roll and sure enough became lost in conversation on the merits of various countries as travel destinations and a discussion about our crazy adventures. We bonded over a mutual love for various places, and lamented our drinking habits.

To put it simply, she was charming, pretty, and the conversation rolled nicely. We had a very funny chat about our misgivings about this, and how neither of us thought that we’d actually find someone that was semi-decent at human interaction and

decently attractive! To add to this, we had good food, and good conversation, and I don’t know if I could have asked for a better way to procrastinate writing my essays than spending an hour or two with good food and solid yarns.

Despite this seeming like quite the great date, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew her from somewhere. As we were leaving, I realized it what the problem was. I’d seen her a while back with a friend of mine, but had been quite drunk at the time, so it had taken some time to put two and two together.

Despite this realization, I was content as we wandered off together, thanked our fantastic waiter, and continued on our way. All things considered, she was lovely, I really enjoyed my time, but unfortunately, I’m really broke at the moment, so maybe get back to me in a few weeks...

THE WAITER’S OPINION

Ok first of all- I’d just like to point out, the girls eye make-up …. gorgeous!

The guy seemed really sweet!

I’m so hoping there is a second date for these two, because they were adorable together.

Chatting with them at the end of the date, I could see there was an element of shyness coming from both of them, which generally comes from a point of interest in one another.

I really think you have done it this time, CANTA!

–AYDEN

BOAT

ANSWER’S TO LAST ISSUE’S CROSSWORD

Across

7 Threesome (4)

8 Dora is one (8)

9 Ricky Gervais comedy; ‘The ____’ (6)

10 Stealing (6)

11 Cheater (4)

12 Dora has one (8)

15 Its students may specialise in film, or sculpture (4,4)

17 Captain ___, iconic chippie on Rountree St (3’1)

18 Dora’s foe (6)

21 Real (6)

22 Entrance buzzer (4-4)

23 Pirate in Peter Pan (4)

Down

1 Street art (8)

2 ‘Take Me to Church’ singer (6)

3 Christmas’ month (8)

4 Saliva (4)

5 Wishful MONO conclusion (4-2)

6 Artery (4)

13 Nonchalantly (8)

14 Aromatic spice (8)

16 Master (6)

17 Like a gossipy law student (6)

19 Dog noise (4)

20 Great Barrier is one (4)

THEATRE’S MERIDIAN ENERGY 2018/2019 SEASON HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED!

Our biggest, brightest and most colourful season yet, we’ve got shows for everybody this season… So, take a break from the books and come on down to The Court. With initiatives like 30 Below ($30 tickets if you’re under 30) and Play Mates (meet-up groups for attending a show) there’s no excuse not to get involved.