CANTA ISSUE 6, 2022

I don’t care about your free pizza. There, I said it.

Well, okay, I kind of do. Pizza is great. Especially when it’s free. But if that's your answer to ‘employee wellbeing’, yeah na I think I’m allergic.

‘Wellbeing’ seems to be the hot new trope - on the tip of every politician, CEO and influencer’s tongues. A quick Google search and you’ll find endless articles detailing ‘five easy ways to improve your wellbeing’ that, let’s be real, were probably written by unpaid and overworked interns. The sentiments are usually nice though, and I’m pleased we’re talking about mental health and wellbeing. But it seems to me that as a collective, we’re failing to address any of the issues that are actually going to make any real difference to a person’s wellbeing. And to be honest, I’m kind of over it.

Wellbeing is not free pizza. We can do better than that. We need to do better than that.

Wellbeing is warm, dry, affordable housing. Wellbeing is being able to hold your partner’s hand in public without fear of being abused. Wellbeing is accessing mental health care when you need it, not waiting weeks or months for an appointment. Wellbeing is having people around you who actually give a shit. Wellbeing is having equitable access to buildings. Wellbeing is having the right to make decisions about your own body. Wellbeing is being paid a living wage. Wellbeing is returning stolen land to tangata whenua. Wellbeing is being able to wear what you want without fear of being catcalled or assaulted. Wellbeing is seeing yourself represented in media, politics and organisations. Wellbeing is having access to gender-neutral bathrooms. Wellbeing is having access to healthcare. Wellbeing is being able to walk down the street by yourself at night without having to have someone on the other end of the phone in case something goes wrong. Wellbeing is being respected. Wellbeing is being valued. Wellbeing is being believed.

Wellbeing is not free pizza until we have addressed the stuff that really matters. Until that happens, I don’t want any of your free pizza, thanks.

news. cant a

NEW MULTI-FACTOR AUTHTHENTICATION FOR STUDENTS

Alex Carter (she/her)

As of the 17th of May 2022, the University of Canterbury has implicated a new Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA) system for students and their logins to ensure more security.

This has been enforced to ensure extra safety and privacy for students and their online communications, such as Outlook.

When asked why this was being brought in now, a university spokesperson shared that, “it’s important for us to adapt how we protect our resources and data against cybercriminal activity.”

“Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA) is another layer of security to your IT account designed to help protect your identity and make it more difficult for hackers to get in. MFA is a cybersecurity requirement for all University of Canterbury staff, students, and visitors with a UC account. By applying MFA to its IT accounts, the University is following best practice in the advancement of IT technology to better protect our data and our students, staff, and visitors” shares the university spokesperson.

Passwords alone are not enough to stop cybercrime. In 2017, Google shared that hackers can steal almost 250,000 web logins each week. This number is also potentially higher now due to an increase of technological advancements.

Another document shared those cyber-attacks increased 186% between June 2020 and June 2021.

The MFA can be done as a text message or phone call directed to your mobile or a unique security code. Although not all cyber security is foolproof, the extra MFA will add more protection than passwords alone.

In 2021, an article by Zain Malik in the US shared eight reasons to why the MFA is beneficial:

- Increases Security

- Reduces Risk from Compromised Passwords

- Customizable Security Solution

- Compatible with Single Sign-On (SSO)

- Scalable for Changing User Bases

- Regulatory Compliance

- Enables Enterprise Mobility

- Adaptable for Different Use Cases

It is important to remember that in such a technological time, students will be prone to cybercrime, and it may affect your work and privacy if the necessary precautions are not taken.

news. cant a

CRITICISM OVER UCSA’s DECISION TO NOT REOPEN THE FOODCOURT

Tatiana Gibbs (she/her)

UC students have returned to campus under the orange traffic light setting, meaning doof-dungeon Mono nights, sausage-eating contests, and Cuba members kickflipping on halfpipes on C-block lawn are back.

But one UC staple hasn’t re-emerged from the depths of the red traffic light setting, leaving students asking: Why isn’t the Foodcourt open?

The Undercroft Foodcourt, notorious for cheap affordable lunches and the home of $3 fried rice, has remained closed this year, despite all seven of the other eight USCA-owned campus eateries staying open.

That’s drawn criticism from students with many confused as to why the popular lunch spot’s doors remain shut despite large gathering being able to go ahead.

“It’s just dumbfounded me why it hasn’t been opened yet… everything else is,” says Rachel* a second-year arts student.

“It’d just be nice to see that cheap food option again, especially in a cost-of-living crisis.”

The absence of the Foodcourt leaves a gap at the affordable end of UC’s food market, with other UCSA-owned eateries described as expensive by students.

Non UCSA-owned eateries are offering competitive prices, such as Mix Café’s $4.80 bacon and egg sandwich, a saving of $2.80 compared with the $7.60 bacon and egg sandwich sold by USCA-owned Chilton’s.

“This year when the cost-of-living crisis hit and I thought ‘I’ve got to be really frugal with money,’ I did start noticing just like, wow, this stuff is really expensive,” Rachel said.

Student Hamish Stayt said the Foodcourt was the best place for cheap, easy lunches for vegetarians like him. “I miss it so much.”

UCSA president Pierce Crowley said the closure of the Foodcourt came down to the safety and security of staff during a Covid-affected semester.

When the Covid outbreak began, the association looked at all its retail outlets, the viability of their models, and which ones were easiest to scale down to “effectively protect our staff,” he said.

The large pool of staff was dispersed to other USCA-owned eateries on campus to ensure staff had enough work, and eateries had enough cover for Covid shortages.

“I think the issue now is just working out how to readjust those people who’ve been moved to other roles, back into those [Foodcourt] roles, and potentially hiring other people to complement that.”

He said the eateries’ operations were at the UCSA’s discretion, and no terms of agreement had been breached by closing the Foodcourt.

Crowley explained that the UCSA operates eateries not for profit but to generate an alternative revenue stream that can contribute to support services for students such as hardship funds, foodbanks, dental and optometry support.

The Foodcourt’s closure was “unfortunate, obviously”, but the UCSA’s priority was staff safety and ensuring student support services remained “entirely viable,” Crowley said.

BakeSoc president Roger Stoves wanted to see the UCSA work with clubs like his to deliver affordable or even free food to students.

“My long-term goal for the club is to be like the SVA (Student Volunteer Army) but for food,” he said.

“That’s not to undercut UCSA cafes but simply fill a gap,” Stoves said.

In the meantime, Crowley confirmed that students wouldn’t have to wait much longer for the Undercroft Foodcourt –it’s set to reopen to students in semester two, if not sooner.

*Rachel’s name has been changed.

news. cant a

DRUGS NOT ON THE MENU AT THE UCSA AGM

Melissa Ready (she/her)

Coming just after the Student Association’s decision to turn on post approval on the UCSA Noticeboard where members have been debating everything from rice boxes to freedom of speech, the Annual General Meeting provided the opportunity for some in-person action.

UCSA President Pierce Crowley praised the work of previous student executives which saw the UCSA finally join the New Zealand International Students’ Association.

The UCSA also had the highest turnover of all student associations in the Southern Hemisphere. Finance and Engagement Officer Sophie Svenson gave an overview of the 2021 Accounts, which saw a total revenue of over $12 million, but the UCSA still ended the year in a $700k deficit due to Covid.

Crowley said the focus on the needs of students remains core in 2022, with aims to further diversify the student voice. New advisory groups have been introduced and there are changes being made to the student executive to support this.

This includes the decision to ensure the International Representative on the student executive is in fact an international student, which will be formalised at the Half AGM later this year.

Furthermore, the UCSA is “rethinking the relationship” with Te Akatoki, after Tumuaki Rosa Hibbert-Schooner resigned last year in protest of pay conditions. Despite her return, the UCSA acknowledges not all the problems have been solved but they’ve made “positive progress... and [Te Akatoki] deserves more from the university”.

In his update, Crowley highlighted the disappointing effect of covid on welcoming new students to campus including the impact on clubs and societies, which he said they will continue to support during a “difficult year”.

The president acknowledged the hotly debated topic of lacking affordable food options, confirming there is a plan underway to reopen the Undercroft Food Court in semester two. In the meantime, the UCSA has been heavily involved in delivering food parcels to isolating households and aims to provide a similar service next semester to help with winter heating.

Another major concern was the wait times for mental health services at the UC Health Centre, where students have been on waitlists for months to see counsellors. Crowley said the UCSA’s mental wellbeing committee would be consulting in the coming week but “we want UC to improve”.

The AGM attendees that weren’t just lured in by free food and Tea Party tickets fired questions about complaints of antisocial student behaviour and wheel clamping. Though Crowley admitted these were often up to the university and a range of other factors, he reassured that the UCSA is aware of the issues and working to find remedies.

He believes the return of Mono has and will continue to help with students’ public antics, saying Mono provides students with a safe and controlled place to consume alcohol and drugs but reiterated “they would never [do drugs]”.

Some students who attended the AGM said afterward they “only went for the food and prizes but actually liked it”, which the UCSA can no doubt claim as success. The Half AGM will take place later this year, and documents from the meeting can be found on the UCSA website.

TUMUAKI PIECE

Rosa Hibbert-Schooner (she/her)

Kia Orana, Ni sa bula, Fakaalofa lahi atu, Hai, Talofa lava, Fakafeiloaki, Malo e lelei, Fakatalofa atu, Halo, Tēnā koutou katoa

Term two is often a time of the year that as the weather changes and assignments and exams lurk around the corner, our wellbeing as students is heavily impacted.

Below are wisdoms from my tīpuna Māori, that I think can benefit us all in reflecting and championing hauora for ourselves:

He kokonga whare e kitea, he kokonga ngākau e kore e kitea: A corner of a house may be seen and examined; not so the corners of the heart.

Whakamarama ki a au:

We do not always know what emotions and feelings other people are holding. This Whakataukī reminds us to engage with others accordingly, with manaaki and aroha ki te tangata.

He hono tangata e kore e motu; kāpā he taura waka e motu: Connections between people cannot be severed, whereas those of a canoe-rope can.

Whakamarama ki a au:

Hold dearly the relationships you have to improve your wellbeing. Lean in and support your friends and whānau. Make connections whilst at university to help your future aspirations flourish.

Mehemea he raruraru kei a koe, me wewete e koe: If you have troubles, free yourself.

Whakamarama ki a au:

Tohunga Māori understood certain emotions and feelings to negatively impact our wellbeing as people. This whakataukī shows the importance of releasing negative feelings and emotions, to truly heal and move forward. Top tip: Taking time to offset your negative emotions in a way that allows for self-reflection and growth.

Hokia ki ō maunga kia purea ai koe e ngā hau a Tāwhirimātea:

Return to your mountains so that you can be cleansed by the winds of Tāwhirimātea.

Whakamarama ki a au:

Wellbeing of people is connected to the wellbeing of the environment –both physical and spiritual, around us. Returning to places that give us grounding, belonging and peace will only heal and restore our hauora. This is my best tip. Although we have students from all over the globe, find nature and spaces that make you feel safe and nurtured.

Bryant McIntyre (he/him)

Kia Ora,

I'm sure we all have had friends that have left uni because of their mental health. I'm sure many of you have seen your friends in some dark places, and some of you may even have been there yourself, and that's okay. Mental health is an issue that many of us struggle with. It's a problem that has not been taken seriously enough, and it is one common issue many other execs and I ran on, and it's an issue we are prepared to tackle head-on.

My name is Bryant McIntyre, your Education Rep and recently appointed chairperson of the UCSA Mental Health Subcommittee. You may be thinking, “mental health subcommittee? I haven't heard about this before!?” And dear reader, you'd be right! The exec voted to establish it to commit to your mental health! This committee intends to tackle the systemic mental health problem at UC, and to do this, we have set our three main goals:

To ensure that any decision-making hears the student body’s voice for the University of Canterbury's mental health organisations.

Ensure that the University of Canterbury funding for mental health is spent in the most effective and equitable way.

Ensuring all students are heard, with a specific focus on minority groups. Such groups for example are, disabled students, distance students, Māori students, mature students, Pasifika students, and Rainbow students.

The reasoning behind these goals is that we have identified these as the bare minimum we can do to help students. However, we still need your help! Fill out our survey (scan the QR code) to have more of your stories so that, ultimately, we can have more of you around.

My mental health tip is to take a break every now and then. I love sitting in Ilam Gardens with my lunch or sitting in the Foundry with a pint of Speights. I find it gives me a moment just to reset my mind and a brief escape from the often chaotic days at uni!

Siani

Kia ora koutou, I’m Siani the Faculty of Health Rep for the UCSA this year. I am almost finished with my Bachelor of Health Science degree which is exciting yet terrifying as soon I’ll have to think about applying for jobs! I love cats, red wine, dancing, binging Netflix, and am a sucker for a sunrise/sunset. My mental health tip is to remember to slow down, take some deep breaths and get outside for fresh air. I find when I feel overwhelmed these help me to think clearer and calm down. A phone call with a close friend always helps too, that’s what friends are for!

Rosa

Tēnā koutou anō !

He uri tēnei nō Te Arawa, nō Ngāti Whakaaue. Ko Rosa Hibbert-Schooner tēnei.

My tip to everyone is to stay connected to Te Taiao me Papatuānuku.

E ai ki te whakataukī, Tukua mai he kapunga oneone ki ahau hei tangi māku. Send me a handful of soil so that I may weep over it.

In Te Ao Māori worldview, there is an intimate connection to the land and as tangata whenua we are kaitiaki of this taonga. The connection people have to the whenua provides a source of identity, spiritual nourishment, and at times healing. Homesickness or mamae, love and the longing for land often compels people to return to land, places of comfort and love to nourish the soul. Our whenua absorbs the tears that we may shed and can be a support for healing in time of heightened emotions.

Pierce

Kia ora koutou,

My name is Pierce, and I am the President of the UCSA.

I’m excited to be part of the new mental health subcommittee of the UCSA executive. The goals of the committee as detailed above by Bryant are expansive and are designed to ensure there is accountability in relation to funding received by the university from the government for student mental health services.

I’m passionate about mental health because I’ve both faced my own struggles, and I have seen so many of my peers face similar challenges. Assistance was often hard to find, as well as being hard to access. I hope that this committee will help make services more accessible for all students and understand that mental health is a multifaceted area where there is never a one-size fits all approach.

My mental health tip is to never feel afraid or ashamed to talk about your feelings with others. Your family, your peers, and all those around you care about you and will always be willing to listen and help. The flip side of that is to always check in with your mates and ask how they are doing. A lot of people feel they need to suffer in silence, and you truly cannot understand how meaningful someone checking in can be for someone.

Sophie

Kia Ora everyone, I am Sophie the Equity and Wellbeing Rep this year. I am a 4th year Commerce student, and my mental health tip would be….

If you’re feeling down or unproductive, I recommend going for a walk in the morning, as it starts your day off on the right foot and if you can, get off your phone in the morning and at night

Xavier

Kia Ora, my name is Xavier! The main reason I wanted to be involved with the mental health subcommittee is to be able to make a positive difference in the way that mental health is treated in our communities. Everyone and their dog knows that we’re in a state of crisis at the moment, with severe amounts of people going untreated and uncared for by our health systems. Through this subcommittee, I’m hoping to help contribute to getting help to those who need it most. One thing I’ve found important for me is allowing myself to take breaks. Even though it sometimes feels like the world is pressing down on you, taking time for yourself and prioritising time for the things you love is so important. Never underestimate the power of a good rest. Whatever taking a break looks like to you, whether that’s taking a nap, reading a book, catching up with friends, playing games or exercising, work out what is best for you and learn to make that a part of your routine. You are important and you have to put yourself first.

FAKE UCSA NotiCEboArd

thiS NEEdS to Stop, EvEryoNE dESErvES to FEEl SAFE iN otAUtAhi

ANd i oop…

bE SAFE ANd gEt yoUr piNK CoNNiES!

did thiS SExy ChoNK FiNd hiS homE?

Simp modE ACtivAtEd!

Who’S hoStiNg tho?

adult should get around 7 to 8 hours of sleep.

tip #1

This might sound like a broken record but try not to stress about failing your assessment or exam. Focusing on it will just demotivate you to study. Instead, focus on the steps you need to take to accomplish the results you want.

tip #2

Figure out your circadian rhythm. Scientific studies have suggested that whether you are a night owl or an early bird is genetic. This means that whilst even if a night owl wakes up early or an early bird works late, they will be less productive than if they work at their preferred time. Whilst you can train to switch, it is more productive to work your sexy schedule around your chronotype.

tip #3

Take a power nap. Studies have shown that after a power nap, the brain works a lot better.

tip #4

Take regular breaks to refocus your brain. It usually takes most people 30 minutes to lose focus. Try to take a five minute break between study sessions.

tip #7

Plan your study sessions ahead. It is recommended that you make a physical schedule of your day to help you visualise your study plans.

tip #8

Know your study style. Some say they study better in groups; others disagree and say studying with your friends will only distract you. The truth is that it all depends on the individual. So, experiment and find your own style of studying.

tip #9

Set realistic goals for your study session. Instead of focusing your attention on the whole subject, try to focus on area within your course or a particular question you need to know.

tip #10

Be flexible and don’t feel like you need to implement a particular technique to be successful. The problem with self-help is that it is generalised and does not actually cater to the needs of the every individual. What works for other people might not work for you, so try to figure out what works for you and don’t let other people tell you what to do.

Impulsive

You vape like a train

You had a quirky pet like a mouse as a kid

A weekend without drinking doesn’t exist in your vocabulary

Processing emotions? What’s that?

You don’t normally have breakfast You like going on walkies for fun

Your Nutribullet gets more action than you do

You probably have time to read for leisure as well

You’re destructive asf

You’re also stressed 24/7

Spontaneity is your middle name

You never look at your bank account

You’re always caffeinated

You also have the highest Snapchat score

The most healthy of all breakdown moves

You’re getting over a breakup

You eat the same meal everyday

That is how long some students have had to wait to get mental health support from services in Ōtautahi and further afield. That is students with depression and anxiety. That is students who have been sexually assaulted. That is students with eating disorders. That is students living with trauma. That is students who are suicidal. That is also students who have been helped. That is students who are getting help. That is students who are still waiting for help.

Mental health services in Aotearoa are at capacity. There aren’t enough professionals to respond to the volume of people seeking help. One UC student has been waiting since September last year for an appointment with the eating disorders service at Princess Margaret Hospital, with no word on when they will be seen. Another, who has a mental health claim with ACC, has been trying to find an ACCregistered therapist since moving to Christchurch last year, but is having no success, and the process is “draining” and “scary”.

Health Minister Andrew Little said there's “a worldwide shortage of psychiatrists and clinical psychologists”. And yet, according to the New Zealand College of Clinical Psychologists, not enough clinical psychologists are being trained. Instead, healthcare providers have “tended to rely heavily on recruitment from overseas”.

But if you take one look at universities around the country, you will find droves of eager psychology students applying to the competitive, limited-entry clinical psychology programmes. In one of my postgrad psychology classes this semester, we went around the room and introduced ourselves to each other and talked about our future goals. Most people said they hoped to be accepted into the clinical psychology programme. But for many, it probably won’t happen.

Around 12 people a year are accepted into UC’s postgraduate diploma in clinical psychology. It’s about the same at other universities offering clinical psychology programmes. The 2018 Government Inquiry into Mental Health Addiction, He Ara Oranga, recommended growing the psychologist workforce, but the reality is that the clinical psychology programmes that are training the future members of the workforce, do not have the current resourcing capacity to increase the number of students entering the programmes. Clinical psychology students need internships, and at the moment not enough services have the capacity to offer them.

Meanwhile, many students who are wanting to make a difference are being left with no choice but to walk away from a career in clinical psychology. Capable, driven and empathetic students who want to help tackle these outrageous waiting lists, who simply can’t.

Since the Government’s 2019 Wellbeing Budget, an additional eight Ministry of Health funded internships for clinical psychologists have been offered - an increase from 12. Last year, a petition was delivered to Parliament by a clinical psychologist student in Wellington, urging the Government to increase the psychologist workforce. Select Committee has this month released a report on Lucy McLean’s petition, recommending that the Government increases the number of paid internships on offer in clinical psychology, and other government agencies investigate how to reduce barriers that providers of clinical psychology training face in increasing their student numbers, and consider aiding trainers in this field where appropriate.

Students are needing support and they are needing support now. Last month I broke my leg and was treated within hours. If I had to wait even two days for treatment, you can imagine the collective outrage and action. People should not be waiting months and years for mental health support. Students can’t keep waiting. New Zealanders can’t keep waiting. The Government needs to make drastic changes and they need to make it now. There are students ready and waiting to join the workforce. Give them a chance to make a difference.

Resources:

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

Need to talk?

Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.

Lifeline 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE).

Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat.

Samaritans

0800 726 666.

So, it’s the last week of term and you’re probably buried under a mountain of assignments. And right about now, nothing sounds better than pushing all those deadline aside for a cheeky trip to the mall. I’ve been there bestie. Sometimes the only thing getting you through a dark patch is the promise of a little reward at the end. Treat yo’ self, am I right? But is retail therapy actually good for our overall wellbeing?

I’ll be the first to admit that I love a shopping spree. I’ve done it all - online, in store, sometimes a bit of research online before a trip to the actual store. I’ve made some impulse buys that I absolutely love, and some that I try really hard not to think about. I truly have known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of retail therapy. So if you’re wondering why shopping makes us feel good and whether it’s beneficial in the long run, I’m pleased to tell you that I’ve already done the research, and here is my report:

It can restore our sense of autonomy. When those deadlines are too overwhelming and you start to spiral into a pit of despair, sometimes just buying that thing is enough to feel like you’re back in control. Even if it’s as a small as chocolate bar – choosing something solely for yourself can really boost your mood!

It brings us happiness. Even before you’ve made a purchase, you start to imagine your new and improved life with whatever object you’re pining for. That anticipation releases dopamine as you start to visualise those positive outcomes. Suddenly, all sorts of exciting possibilities are on the horizon!

It’s a welcome distraction. Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery and maybe a bit of social interaction to get out of a funk. A group shopping trip could be just the ticket! But it doesn’t come without dangers…

It can cause financial strain. You buy things, but at what cost? The price, apparently. It’s no secret that uni students are broke as fuck, and what starts as a fun journey to the mall could cause future stress when funds run out and the rent is due.

It can lead to addiction. I’ve never seen Confessions of a Shopaholic, but it’s kind of in the title - shopping can be addictive. If those purchases start to control your life, retail therapy loses any of the “therapeutic” benefits it had to begin with.

It’s a product of capitalism. I hate to bring up the C-word, but excessive spending definitely feeds into the industry of consumerism and mass production. Sometimes shopping just leads to feelings of guilt, and adds to anxiety instead of easing it… damn.

Despite the name, retail therapy is definitely no substitute for professional help. But at the end of the day, it’s fine in moderation. Buying the odd pair of jeans or bag of hot chips won’t be the number one contribution to capitalism - that goes to the multibillion dollar corporations. It’s really hard to balance a carbon footprint with financially viable options, and trying to carry that mental burden on your own can be hugely exhausting! It’s not your responsibility to save the world singlehandedly - just doing the best you can is enough.

So my parting advice to you is: take your time with your shopping. Sales and second-hand deals can be an epic mood-booster, but be careful of impulse buys! They’re pretty unpredictable, so make sure you’re going to use whatever it is you’re buying. Your personal wellbeing is important, and if you’ve got the cash, and if makes you feel good, then go for it! Treat. Yo. Self.

I am lucky enough to live in a flat that has a garden space and is a 5-minute walk away from Hagley Park and Botanic Gardens. For many, these spaces allow us to get outside the concrete jungle of our city centre and reconnect with Papatūānuku. But they are not perfect. And some people may need to travel up to an hour (or more) by bus to access them. I legitimately walked through Hagley the other day and saw a family of 3 possums hissing at me from an oak tree. Are you kidding me?!? Predator Free 2050 is a fallacy if you put traps in native sanctuaries but allow pests to thrive right in the heart of the city!!! I also don’t understand why our urban green spaces must be so polished –why can I only walk through perfectly lined European trees and not see any native scrub and bushes between these? Thanks a lot, Deans’ brothers.

In 2016, the World Health Organisation found that urban green spaces boost mental health, reduce lifetime exposure to pollutants and noise, as well as reduce overall mortality and illness within the area. I don’t know about you, but this is telling me that our monkey brains are still wired to find solace in the great outdoors. We can’t prevent people from moving to urban centres, so why don’t we just create a better city centre which can bring the nature back to us? I think these parks and gardens are not only essential to our wellbeing but could be our gateway drug to full-scale urban gardening too. Why buy tomatoes at the supermarket for $5.49/kg when you could just pluck a few from the local gardens that you helped to fertilise with your organic scraps? We could be using these spaces for things other than sports games and lookgood attractions.

For your wellbeing, and for the wellbeing of Aotearoa’s biodiversity, I have created a list of demands to present to future city planners, managers, and conservationists to ensure that Christchurch does not go to the dogs:

1 2 3 4 5

Land Back. It is the only legitimate way to end cycles of intergenerational injustice, displacement, and marginalization. It wouldn’t rid us of the stain on history colonization has created, but it sure as hell would be respecting Te Tiriti and enhancing the wellbeing of tangata whenua.

I demand that there be no more limbs of Christchurch. I don’t want another subdivision unless there is an electric railway system able to get me to and fro so the council is not required to build more motorways. This way everyone can live their top tier anime dream of looking longingly into the distance while riding the train. Instead of ‘New Rolleston’, we should start focussing on high density housing in the city centre and remove all cars to create a walkable, bikeable heart of Ōtautahi. If subdivisions must go ahead, let them be their own independent areas with work opportunities and their own attractions so that it reduces travel to Christchurch.

Green spaces should not exist within small pockets but be spread throughout the city to create corridors. Connect Riccarton Bush to the university and Hagley Park. This could then travel towards Margaret Mahy Park and follow the red zone towards the east. This greenery will be inviting to birds and insects from Banks Peninsula, and less cars will reduce the noise and pollutants near these spaces, allowing our animals to thrive. Moreover, seed from our endemic and native greenery will then have a place to grow, letting Papatūānuku do what she does best. However, we may need to have a little talk about… ahem… your cats and dogs.

Chlöe Swarbrick’s initiative to create a rental WOF… Genius. Throws my article that I wrote for Orientation out the window because you wouldn’t need those tips and tricks with this policy in place. Imagine peace of mind when looking for a flat… double glazing? We got you, boo thang.

sCommunity participation in everything. Why would a council assume that they know what’s best for their city residents? Voting and becoming a board member could be a great idea, but why doesn’t the council visit schools, universities, and organisations to ask people what they desire for their city?

Being a teenager fucking sucks. Being a queer teenager extra fucking sucks.

I’m a transmasculine person and use he/they pronouns. If you don’t know what that means, welcome. I was born female but identify mostly as a guy (but not fully). My gender is basically a weird shapeless blob at the bottom of a swamp that uses he/they pronouns.

Dysphoria is the worst. Dysphoria is, in a nutshell, a constant feeling of ‘wrongness’ with a part or several parts of your body. Combine that with puberty, and you have a jumbled mess of emotions, discomfort, and all-around mediocre wellbeing. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not even my worst enemy.

With puberty, gone were the days of just being a kid. Suddenly, everything reminded me that I was a girl, a ‘young woman’, and I wasn’t okay with it. My first period came when I was at my father’s house, and I had to figure most things out myself. I still hate my period with a passion. No matter what else I do, it remains as a dark cloud over my life, and it sucks. Oop. Got a bit serious there, whoops. Hmm, what’s a bit lighter? Feminine clothing is objectively fun, but I hate the connotation of it being feminine. ‘Bothering Random Religious Old People’ is a great aesthetic though. Therefore, I constantly look like a walking advert for Dangerfield or Hot Topic. The looks I sometimes get are very entertaining.

Let’s talk about high school for a minute. I went to an all-girls high school in Wellington as a closeted trans person. How specific can I get without naming the school outright? It was a wild ride, and I wouldn’t do it again even if you paid me. I finally came out as soon as I started uni by simply introducing myself as a different name. And now, a lot of my classmates don’t know I even have a deadname. It’s amazing.

Health class is a mission when you’re queer, especially when you’re trans. I can only speak coming from an allgirls school, but it was always hard to sit there and learn about the topics that matched being a girl, but not learning about other stuff. It was an ever-present reminder that I wasn’t like the others in my class. We didn’t learn anything about what transgender was either, so if I hadn’t had the Internet, I would have been incredibly lost and confused. On a side note, why do doctors tend to assume straightness? If I’m sexually active, it doesn’t automatically mean that I could be pregnant. Ffs. Genuine shout out to my GP by the way - Dr Hart at the health centre is an absolute legend.

Coming out to people is a whole other can of worms. In a high school, especially one with less than 500 students from ages 5-18, secrets will get out, and people you would have never told the secret in a million years corner you one day and, point blank, ask you about it. I initially came out to people through Instagram - because of course I did, I was 13 - and for some reason made it so much more dramatic than I needed to. But, hey, it worked, I guess? For the next nine months I was out to people at school, but not any of my family, and was constantly stressed about it. To quote one of my old friends while my mum was in the next room: “so you’re a they/them, right?”

In year 12, I eventually came out to my health teacher as genderqueer, and nothing really changed for better or for worse. She still used my deadname, still referred to the class as ‘girls’, and still used gendered terms to refer to me. Year 12 was also when I started binding safely (due to not having access beforehand), and at times all I wanted was to feel like at least one adult was okay with me, but due to my own anxieties I would never speak up and ask over and over to be referred to correctly. Sometimes I would just want to come out to everyone at once and deal with the fallout afterwards, but I could never bring myself to do it. That’s anxiety for you.

In year 13, I also helped to run the Queer Straight Alliance at my school. We were a small group, this in part due to being required to only allow year 10-13 to join. Why? Because we ‘might influence younger students’. Well then. I may have actively hidden the fact that we had younger students attending, but it was the smallest little bit of rebellion against an utterly stupid rule, and it felt great.

Having a QSA was great fun - shout out to my drama teacher for letting us use her room - but it was one of those subjects that you just didn’t really talk about outside the meetings or the group chat. If you knew who to ask, you could find out about it, but we couldn’t really advertise it anywhere. In response to trying to organise a Pride week at school, we got told that “there aren’t enough sexualities to cover a week”. <Insert mad face here>

My school wasn't all bad though, to be fair. The year after I left, a trans guy came out and the same teacher that misgendered me advocated for him to be allowed to wear a different version of the uniform worn by the coed music program. Still lowkey jealous lmao. Nevertheless, I graduated and never looked back. I can count the number of people I kept in touch with on one hand. Twice. Neither of them were from my year group. It’s been years though and I’m tempted to go back and wreak havoc.

In summary, whoever says that teenagers would ever choose to be queer certainly has a lot to learn. Becoming who you are is awesome, but I could complain about teenage shit for hours. In fact, I might. Stay tuned for the next time I can convince the other QCanterbury exec to let me write something.

CLUB CORNER

Ft. lAdS WithoUt lAbElS

Stella Cheersmith (she/her)

Lads Without Labels is working hard to destigmatise men’s mental health. Stella Cheersmith sat down with their president, George Glover, to talk about the club’s history, the 2022 calendar, and top tips for wellbeing.

tEll US AboUt lAdS WithoUt lAbElS.

Our mission is to improve, specifically, men’s mental health here at UC, but that sort of encapsulates everybody. You’ve got that huge flow-on effect that eventually goes downstream and in terms of the events that we run, that’s always the goal.

ANd thE ClUb iS FAirly yoUNg?

Yeah! It was founded in 2019 by a law student, Sam McLean. We’ve experienced 2100% growth since the founding year - in revenue, socials, outreach, and the team that we have on board. So there’s eighteen of us on our exec, which is huge, but you’ve got sponsorship managers, events, marketing, content creation, so there’s many important roles.

WhEN ANd Why did yoU joiN Up?

Me and some of my mates did a cricket marathon last year, and ended up raising forty-five grand for I AM HOPE. Then towards term four of last year, the previous Lads president Sam Watkins shoulder-tapped me to help organise Running 72. So that went off really well, and when they were going for exec positions, I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring. And now we’re here!

ANd WhAt’S iN thE WorKS For 2022?

We recently just had Flat Chats, where we go into a flat, supply a feed, and basically just have a yarn around the dinner table about mental health. That’s happening weekly now, and Life Skills for Lads is another one - learning how to change a tyre, back a trailer, check your oil, manage finances. So we’re running weekly workshops where anybody can come along for free and learn the skills they need.

Ugly Boys Running Club is a subsidiary club of Lads, and they’re paired up with Lululemon this year, just getting lads on the street running. Last year we had about 40 boys, and I think they’re looking to go up to about 60 this year.

Then we’ve got Humans of UC, which is our current marketing campaign around all of the student services here. It’s a lot like Humans of New York, just getting a face behind those student wellbeing services. Then of course our major events, which are Grand Launch, Running 72, and Cocktails for Change. So there’s our whole calendar laid out! And there’ll be more.

WhAt do yoU thiNK iS thE moSt prESSiNg problEm For mEN’S mENtAl hEAlth?

I think everybody’s ears are now open, but none of our mouths are. We’re comfortable listening about it, because it’s been destigmatised, but nobody is willing to be the first one to be vulnerable. We need to open our mouths more, and talk about it.

CoUld yoU ShArE SomE top tipS For mAiNtAiNiNg WEllbEiNg?

BEESSS: Brush your teeth, Eat (healthy if possible), Exercise, Shower, Shit, and Shave. As long as you’re doing those six things, it always lifts you up a bit. And anything worth doing well is worth doing poorly - in times when you’re really down and you can’t bring yourself to have a shower, it’s all good just getting into a new pair of clothes. If you can’t cook a meal, it’s all good having two-minute noodles. You can get away with that, as long as you don’t stay there.

thANKS For thE ChAt! WhErE CAN WE FiNd lAdS oNliNE?

We’re on Instagram and Facebook, just search ‘Lads Without Labels’ and you can keep in touch with us any time!

CLUB PROMOTER

EnviroSoc

You know those bronzed muscular gorgeous students you see on campus, walking with an air of power and majesty? They’re probably EnviroSoc members. EnviroSoc is the academic club for Environmental Science students, but we’re also a social club for anyone passionate about protecting the planet. We don’t just run epic study sessions for EnvSci students though: we get out and make a difference. This year we’re kicking off predator control on campus (nothing to do with post-grads cruising mono!), running beach clean-ups, conducting species surveys, planting trees and running our legendary quiz nights! Come and join us: www.facebook.com/EnviroSocUC *muscles and tan not guaranteed on entry.

University of Canterbury Korean Society

Hi everyone!. University of Canterbury Korean Society is for anyone that is keen to explore Korean culture and meet international friends! In the past, we organised events like Korea Day and camp (MT) to promote Korean food, games, music and most importantly, a chill environment for people to bond and have fun. For this year, we have organised Squid Game for our new members and we are currently collaborating with AKS for our annual camp (MT) at Queenstown for this coming break! Stay tuned for the tickets and our latest events on our Facebook: UC Korean Soc and Instagram: @uc.ksoc.

CUSSC (Canterbury University Snow Sports Club)

CUSSC is your single destination for any and all things snow. We’re the club your parents warned you about before they kissed you off to uni. Shred. Doof. Repeat. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just keen to get involved we can guarantee you’ll find a home in CUSSC. We’ve got ice skating, BYO’s, bus parties, waxing nights and the biggest second hand ski sale in the South Island (did you spot the queue last Sunday?!). Plus heaps of on-mountain events are lined up for the winter - learners, 80’s weekend, formal, and most importantly our inter-varsity Bivouac Freeride competition - all hosted in our very own ski-in ski-out lodge up at Temple Basin! Sounds like a bitta you? Head over to our website (www.cussc.nz) or our facebook page to sign up!

UCHealthSoc

Kia Ora everyone, welcome to UCHealthSoc! We are an all-inclusive club that supports both academic achievement in the Health Science degree, as well as prioritising health and wellbeing in ourselves and our peers. Some of our events include yoga nights, food creation of different cuisines and ‘weekly wellness’ which is our way of getting outside and exercising during stressful university times. Our club is not restricted to Health Science students, as we believe we all can contribute and benefit from listening and caring for our bodies and minds! Therefore, all students are welcome and sign-ups are free so come along and join us! We can’t wait to share some fun experiences with you all this year. Check us out on Instagram and Facebook @uchealthsoc to sign up. UCHealthSoc x

Alice Cheersmith

Instagram: @alicebcheeseburger

RedBubble Shop: @abcheeseburger

Alice Cheersmith

Instagram: @alicebcheeseburger

RedBubble Shop: @abcheeseburger

Kia ora everyone! Say hello to the ladies of the White House, most known for being the best dressed at dressup red cards, and ordering Uber Eats to whatever party we’re at. Although we live in a cold, mouldy, garageconverted flat, we continue to fill it with love and warmth - only between 9pm-12am when it’s free power so we can turn the heaters on. Choose your player below, and make sure to follow @whitehousegourmet on instagram to see our sexy dinners each night (shameless plug).

hAzEl (ShE/hEr):

Player: Drunk Auntie

Age: 20

Skill: Hoarding

Most said quote: “I’ve got a 3000 word essay due tomorrow and I haven’t started”

Degree: Social Work

What I wanted to be when I was younger: A Farmer's Wife

Relationship status: Fuck knows

Drink of choice on a night out: Anything goes

Favourite drinking game: Flirting for free drinks

Where you will find me on a night out: On the dance floor

Guilty pleasure: Rangas

morgAN (ShE/hEr):

Player: Mum

Age: 20

Skill: Going to work after a sleepless night of drinking

Most said quote: “I think I’m getting sick“

Degree: Operations and Supply Chain Management and International Business

What I wanted to be when I was younger: A dancer lol

Relationship status: Wifed up to a jaffa

Drink of choice on a night out: Changes every week but we’re currently on Larrys

Favourite drinking game: Sucker for some beer pong

Where you will find me on a night out: By the beer pong table, duh

Guilty Pleasure: Liming home from a night out

hANNAh (ShE/hEr):

Player: Drama Queen

Age: 20

Skill: Fitting my fist in my mouth

Most said quote: Making an inappropriate joke about someone’s Dad

Degree: Media and Communications and Sociology

What I wanted to be when I was younger: A lawyer because I’m always right

Relationship status: Dating a breather

Drink of choice on a night out: Aperol Spritz

Favourite drinking game: Kings Cup

Where you will find me on a night out: Walking to Symrose

Guilty pleasure: Spitting leftist facts

NiNA (ShE/hEr):

Player: Politician

Age: 20

Skill: Reversing into my flatmates cars

Most said quote: “Ceebs”

Degree: Political Communications

What I wanted to be when I was younger: Marine Biologist

Relationship status: Side-hoe to my boyfriend and his surfboard

Drink of choice on a night out: Long Whites

Favourite drinking game: Stacker

Where you will find me on a night out: Showing everyone I can vorteke

Guilty pleasure: Taking 6 birth control pills in one day

Alli (ShE/hEr):

Player: The Controversial One

Age: 20

Skill: Talking out of my ass

Most said quote: “Sorry I’m running late”

Degree: Strategy and Entrepreneurship

What I wanted to be when I was younger: Rich

Relationship status: Fresh out of a relationship. Don’t ask about it

Drink of choice on a night out: Liaise (I want a private jet flight)

Favourite drinking game: Stacker

Where you will find me on a night out: Talking shit with Hazel

Guilty pleasure: Getting with our guy friends

iSSiE (ShE/hEr):

Player: Vape Lord

Age: 20

Skill: Convincing my boyfriend to leave the party and come home with me

Most said quote: “Guys, I have no Dad”

Degree: Pretentious Law Student

What I wanted to be when I was younger: Famous horse rider (horse girl alert)

Relationship status: Proud mother of my adopted 20 year old son

Drink of choice on a night out: Peach and apple Major Majors

Favourite drinking game: Stacker/Stack Cup/Rage Cage

Where you will find me on a night out: Having big DnMs

Guilty pleasure: Emo music

Like many of you, I came to New Zealand to study. I knew nothing about the country, the people or the culture. I thought New Zealand was an island close to Australia, without any of the deadly Australian animals. It was also the furthest away that I could move from home – Germany.

Moving away from my family and friends was exciting at first, however, I didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be to establish a new social network that could support my wellbeing when I needed it.

As a PhD student I didn’t need to go to classes anymore, which meant, I didn’t have the opportunity to get to know other students through study groups or group work. Instead, I made the mistake of spending a lot of weekends ‘hiding’ in the lab, as I didn’t have anyone to do something with and the lab was my comfort zone.

I know now that my experience wasn’t the exception and that we all feel lonely and disconnected at times. It isn’t easy to connect when English isn’t your first language and you experience a different culture and different expectations to what you are used to.

I eventually worked out a few things for myself, like using the gym as a way to stay active but also connect with other students. That joining a student club was a good way to meet new people. I learned that health services were available to me and as part of that, counselling services. I used those services to help with my wellbeing so I could successfully complete my studies. Most importantly I learned asking for help is ok and while the first person you talk to might not have all the answers, you learn a lot along the way.

My top tips for making your time at UC as memorable as you hope to:

In addition to learning about your chosen subject, you are also learning a new culture and experiencing “Kiwi” English. Be prepared that this might take time and be kind to yourself if things aren’t immediately perfect or if they don’t work out as you hoped.

“She’ll be right!” Remember that it is ok to ask someone for help, and that includes your lecturers, including asking any questions you might have about your course content. However, your supervisors, lab colleagues, lecturers, or other students might not necessarily know best where you could go, or what support services are available to you, when you need it.

To help with finding the support you may need, I have put together a list of services that can be a good starting point at UC:

Te Pātaka – the new Student Service Hub in the Library

Academic Skills Centre –FREE seminars and workshops to help you with your study skill set but also offer seminars you may find useful later in life

UC Gym (Rec Centre) – FREE gym for enrolled students

UCSA Clubs – easiest way to connect with other students, or find a new hobby; for postgrad students, I highly recommend joining the Postgrad Student Association

Health Centre – for all your medical needs but also counselling

Student Advisors – all Faculties have expert staff to help you figure out your study plan for your degree, so you don’t need to guess whether you are taking the right courses to complete your degree

Careers Centre – very useful to learn all about how the New Zealand job market works

Student Care – if you just want to chat someone

Last but not least, you can come to us, the UCSA Advocacy and Welfare team – help@ucsa.org. nz.

Most importantly, know that there is support if you need it. So please use it.

Nicole Anfang (she/her), UCSA Student Advocate (International)

Words? On paper? Print media?? In this economy?? That’s so 2000 and late. Canta Ranta is this mag in audio form. You can find links on the Canta website or simply search ‘Canta Ranta’ on Soundcloud. Interviews, articles, random convos, you name it. It’s for students, by students. Listen in!

Fun Podcast Facts! Guess which two I made up entirely:

- 60% of podcasts are listened to at home. 20% are listened to from cars. The other fifth? Who is to say. Further, 80% of people have listened to podcasts while commuting.

- 74% of podcast listeners tune in to learn new things. Other reasons for regular listening include entertainment, to keep up to date, to relax, and for inspiration.

- The Joe Rogan Experience estimated earnings are $30 million annually (hate hate hate boooo tomato tomato tomato boooo)

- Two out of every five podcast listeners worldwide have bought something suggested in a podcast before.

- Around 15% of New Zealanders say they listen to podcasts every day.

- ‘The Worst Idea Of All Time’ is an iconic podcast where Kiwi comedians Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery watch and review the same movie every week for a year.

- Some say podcasts distract you from work and social connections, even impeding your ability to learn and remember.

Spoiler alert: they’re all true. Screw whoever said that last one by the way. Quora is a weird site. As this Canta’s theme is wellbeing, let’s recognize that everything must be consumed in moderation. Podcasts too! These negatives come both ways though. Podcasts have given people connection and community, particularly during the pandemic. Pros and cons considered, you can’t deny the impact and success of the humble podcast. No matter your interests there’s a podcast for you. Listen to a podcast today! And make that podcast Canta Ranta!

Check it out on our website at www.canta.co.nz

Kia ora! Welcome to the [insert groovy name here] sustainability column. We’ll be appearing in CANTA every fortnight from now on with sustainability tips, with a particular focus on Ōtautahi. Flatting, op shopping, foraging, marketgoing, composting, cycling – we will have you covered. Stay tuned to be inspired! We’ll highlight some idols in the sustainability space and share no shortage of yarns about sustainable life in general. It’s exciting, so we need a name on that level! Feel free to flick us any ideas for a column name on our social media: insta @ucsustain or “UC Sustainability Community” on Facebook.

Naturally, we’re all aware of climate change, waste, poverty, and many pressing issues that fall under the wider umbrella of sustainability. It’s overwhelming to look at it all at once. Our goal is to make it less daunting. Maybe it would help to first figure out: what does ‘sustainability’ even mean?

I found from McGill University, after a quick Google Search, “sustainability means meeting our own needs without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs”. This is the idea of intergenerational wellbeing. It is a message of love to younger generations, to leave the world in a state that enables them to live and thrive together in the same way we want to ourselves.

Although buzzwords like green, eco and carbon-zero jump to mind, achieving intergenerational wellbeing is about more than just caring for the planet. Our environmental impacts tend to be the most obvious factor, but these are intrinsically linked to social and economic factors. So, sustainability as a whole is broader than you might have imagined. It’s not just about reducing the single-use plastics or hugging trees. At a deeper level it’s about getting involved in your communities and supporting each other to live better lifestyles that promote, in some way or another, intergenerational wellbeing.

As there are so many facets that contribute to a sustainable society, it can be hard to know where to start, especially when already navigating the struggles of student life. I find it helps to focus on small things first and striving to be better, not perfect. Nobody is perfect and giving yourself a hard time won’t help you grow in the long term. For you, that might be walking to the shops, supporting a local business, or volunteering at a community event. Immersing yourself in communities that learn together and empower each other is likely to positively reflect in your own mental health and wellbeing too. For ideas about what you can do in your own life, or what community actions you can be involved with, keep an eye out for our future columns!

If you stuck around to read this far, thanks for your time. See you in the next CANTA issue! Remember we’re on the lookout for a name, so hit up our socials: insta @ucsustain or “UC Sustainability Community” on Facebook.

By Jude Van Houtte (she/her)

Whether it’s hiring a hypnotherapist or watching a billionaire tell you how to “think rich” on YouTube, self-help appears to be proliferating throughout media platforms. But when you’re not paying nearly 400 USD to watch a live show on manifesting your ultimate desires, you are also receiving unsolicited advice from your mates, family members, and even your hairdresser. Where did all of this come from? Where do they find the audacity? Just to give the CANTA audience a moment of communal empathy, I have listed the some of the unsought self-help advice I’ve received in person and online. And I’m going to rate them out of 10. Basically, I’m stealing the concept of Ben Appetite from 2019 CANTA but for this wellbeing edition.

“Drink more water!”

Classic move. Tell the anxious student that all their qualms can be solved by a liquid but get the liquid in question utterly wrong. This advice is an 8/10 until I realise that the water only cures my headache, not my chemical instability. So, an overall 1/10. Perhaps asking me if I instead want boba tea delivered to my house and a friend to talk to would be better.

“Go outside!”

Genuinely, sincerely good advice. Go sniff the flowers and hug a tree. Romanticise the crap out of it until you can finally get out of your depression hole of a bedroom and feel a breeze on your cheek. You don’t have to look beautiful for some grass. 9/10.

“You should start journaling. Write down what you’re grateful for!”

3/10. Even the idea of creating an aesthetically pleasing, well written journal is often too much to be motivated for. I would instead advocate for writing about the things you’re not grateful for, then burning those papers in a similar fashion to angsty year 13s burning their schoolbooks after exam season. Then, decide to be the best version of yourself out of spite.

“Go get some!”

Hook up culture can feel like a way to boost your confidence, encounter new experiences, and join the crowd of chads/ chadettes who no longer keep a body count. I wouldn’t know if it helps, and I couldn’t really give a damn. If being sad and horny is your dig, go for it. There are plenty of studies that claim that ‘hook up regret’ is well documented among young adults, but perhaps that is the struggle you need to encounter – similar to ripping off a wax strip – to build yourself anew. 5/10.

“Start grinding, work on your hustle!”

0/10. I hate toxic productivity and hate you for thinking that I would receive dopamine from something I’m already avoiding.

“Go to therapy or counselling!”

Best advice I received. Only problem was, no one actually told me to go, I just got fed up with my own bullshit. 10/10.

“Just stop feeling depressed bro!”

I’m not even going to bother rating this. Just know that if you’ve ever seriously said this to anyone, I think you’re a slimy sewer rat who can’t tell apart mouldy bread from a delectable bag of fresh chips partnered with 2 fish from our lord and saviour, Captain Ben.

PINTEREST SH*TPOST

Here is the answer to all of your wellbeing qualms. May your dilemmas rest in peace as these very serious pieces of inspirational goodness enlighten your mind, body, and soul

Ella Gibson (she/her)

I never thought that I would be affected by Imposter Syndrome. I always had high self-esteem and have always been praised for my work. However, this praise makes the imposter syndrome more implicit and more serious.

Imposter syndrome is the feeling of being an imposter and that you have achieved greatness by mistake. It usually affects high-performing individuals who have already achieved something in their field. In other words, it is self-doubt about not meeting one’s own high expectations, manifested as a perception from the outside.

I am one of those kids that was labelled as ‘gifted’, even though my grades preuni were average at most. This is probably because I had an enthusiasm for learning and knowledge exploration that no other kid seemed to have.

When I was 14, I joined the Junior Council at my High School – Shout out to Riccarton High – which got me hooked on leadership positions. Soon I joined many different committees, including but not least the prefect committee, and usually more than one at a time – a reputation which I still hold today. Some say that I have a fixation on power, but the truth is that I have a fixation on change.

However, only in hindsight, there is another reason for this, and it is the feeling that if I don’t keep at it, the truth will reveal itself; that what I’m only doing is holding up a façade of the person that I truly am: an imposter.

This feeling further cemented itself in me when a few clubs that I tried to start and manage, failed. Every time this happened, the inner voice of “who are to achieve this” grows louder and that drains me.

Over the years, I have learned that one of the best things to do is to let go. What I mean is letting go of the perspective that people care about every mishap that you have done. It is like what they said in road safety class: nobody is really going to judge you if you miss a gap. They are probably thinking the same thing or are thinking about what they are going to have for tea.

This might sound a little bit basic, but I really found that the TedTalk lecture on Imposter Syndrome helpful, especially when it talked about how a researcher kept failing her experiments and thought it was her fault, but then she took a closer look and found that her lab equipment was malfunctioning. Like the case study, the failed clubs all happened because of Covid and at that time, the UCSA found that students were engaging less with the clubs.

All and all, letting go helped a lot for my mental health and helped me have a clear perspective on things. I no longer chase leadership positions to fill my insecurities but to actually provide the needed work of advocacy.

For a link to the TedTalk, see the digital version of this article at canta.co.nz.

There’s a dull pain beneath my sternum

It sits in hallowed space between my ribs

An incorporeal presence

But if it had limbs

It would squeeze the lungs inside my chest

And press them down

To wreck my breaths

There’s a bloated lump stuck in my throat

A manifestation of my trepidation

Lodged firmly within Like a splinter in skin

I choke it down but nothing’s there I swallow something

As impalpable as air

There’s a thudding heartbeat in my ears

A hastening physiological affair

Cardinal sound of a body with life

A persevering being Still breathing despite A constant mental insistence

To eliminate its morbid existence

There’s a tightness around my neck

An asphyxiating consequence

Of a cycle of the same old events

Revolving around past sorrows

That I couldn’t prevent And the unknowns of tomorrow

That I try to pre-empt

There’s an ache resonating inside my brain Harrowed reverberations

Of my pitiful inclinations

My self-disdain

And pulse remain

They’re unaffected by Any depth of respiration.

Well, well, well, here we are… you didn’t think you’d escape a whole year without me talking about horoscopes in this column, did ya? Oh well, if you did, shame on you for being unfortunately naive. But alas, here we are. So get your mercury in retrograde because it’s time for all things horoscopes.

In this episode of Psyched, I want to look at the psychology of horoscopes. I thought it was quite fitting for the wellbeing issue that we take a look at this phenomenon because I mean if you’re a Pisces, you might be suffering a bit. Why do some people love horoscopes and live by them and why do others think that if anyone that talks about horoscopes in a serious manner should be executed right then and there? Let’s find out.

So, I thought it would only be fair if I made it clear from the get-go what my personal stance on horoscopes was. I’m a horoscope fan, but an aware one. What I mean by that is that I know about horoscopes and find them very enjoyable and entertaining - you could almost say that I believe in them, eek. On the contrary, however, I do understand how you would interpret them to be a load of shit. Everything seems to be just general enough to apply to anyone and everyone. “Omg, I really am a Virgo because I am such a perfectionist” they would say.

But alas, I want to take a look at horoscopes from a psychological lens. Like a religion, horoscopes are somewhat of a belief system. No one is necessarily coming to save you or anything, but horoscopes can serve as an explanation to things that seemingly don’t have an explanation. “Oh, you would do that, you’re such a Gemini” they would say for example.

Now, may I introduce to you the Barnum Effect. This effect explains how and why we believe in our horoscopes. The Barnum Effect, or otherwise known as the Forer effect, explains why we believe in generalised personality descriptions as if they are actually accurate descriptions of each and everyone of our unique personalities. This effect basically states that we have a tendency to think that the general information about our personality is absolute despite how general it is. Virtually, the effect explains a cognitive bias that we have to believe in horoscopes.

The name of the effect is derived from the American showman called P.T. Barnum who lived through the 19th century. Barnum became famous by saying lines such as, “there’s a sucker born every minute”, so you can get a grasp of his stance on horoscopes. The protagonist from The Greatest Showman was actually based off of this 19th century showman because he convinced others that he understands them better than they did themselves.

The effect itself alludes to a tendency that we have to be gullible and susceptible to generalised personality trait attribution. And I mean, how fun is it!? You can’t tell me that blaming my actions on the fact that I am a Virgo due to the placement of the stars when I was born is not a jolly ol’ time. The relief of guilt from my own actions because mercury is in retrograde right now is the damn chef’s kiss.

From deciding who to date to explaining the traumainducing behaviour of our peers, astrology is very much a prevalent belief system in a lot of societies. Whether it is a cognitive bias, a full on hoax, or the resolution to your entire existence, astrology is damn entertaining. So go and find out about your own generalised personality and indulge, dear readers. Bon appetit!

HEAT ONE.

MAY 4TH

Desafinado

ABANDONED CARPARKS

ETERNAL SCORN

The BeauChamPs

HEAT TWO.

MAY 18TH

CROWN Kenring

GE CH O

MISSING MABEL

HEAT THREE.

JUNE 1ST

CAMERON GIDDENS

SECOND HAND GOODS

MONK SEALS

HELICOPTER

HEAT FOUR.

JUNE 15TH

Single Malt

Tusekah

LayaRounD RAGWEED

Ma rs ha

LIVE, ONLY AT A ROLLING STONE

579 COLOMBO STREET

PRESENTS

7PM DOORS OPEN ( FREE SALS PIZZA! )

8PM HOUSE BAND WARM UP THE PA .

8.45PM FIRST UOC BAND TAKES THE STAGE.

ROCK BOLD. CHEER HARD.

TIME TO UNEARTH ANOTHER UOC LEGEND.

GIVE ALL YOU CAN, THEN GIVE SOME MORE.

DIP LUCKY DIP LUCKY

CANTA s longest running segment! Each issue we set two people up on a blind date and they record their experiences.

Here are the unedited results.

Admittedly, I would never have signed myself up for Lucky Dip. I’m far too much of a pussy to put myself through something like a blind date, luckily though, one of my good friends took it upon himself, and began by asking me some very strange questions over some drinks, to which ended with me unknowingly signing up for a blind date. I was worried she might see what he sent away, which depicted me as an absolute wounder, but luckily not.

Beforehand, I was visibly shaking and borderline pissing my pants, but I stopped worrying so much once my date arrived. It seems Canta did a good job at setting us up, for one she was my type, both a woman, and quite attractive, and I felt like we talked non stop while we were there. It didn’t feel awkward at all, apart from the slight lull halfway through where I asked if she owns any plants, I could feel myself fumbling the bag at this point, but luckily that was the only lull, from my perspective anyway.

We talked about heaps of stuff; travelling, flatting, drinking, skiing, growing up in small towns, how much admin Tinder is, and how much she loves Harry Styles. I certainly appreciated this chat, especially after she commented that my hair was similar to that of the king himself, honestly i’ll take any compliment

dippEr oNE dippEr tWo

I am a huge fan of the ol’ Canta Lucky Dip, so after a bit of a hype up from my friends and a marginal application, I got a message from the Editor. At this point, I had tried to attempt a hoe phase, and after a fruitless 2022, I was ready to try to find some new meat. So I thought fuck it, why the hell not, if it’s shit at least I get free Rollickin!

After reading a few unsuccessful Lucky Dip stories, it was safe to say my expectations of the night were low. I suggested a Thursday or Saturday night, ya know, paired with a few drinks. I was hoping for an end to my 4-month dry spell. But alas, he requested a Sunday night.

Before the date, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but also was kind of expecting Canta to set me up with a dust-pot for good content. The nice Rollickin lady ushered me up the stairs and said, “it’s the lovely gentleman in the corner” and blimey she was right. Not a dust-pot at all! All I could think was, “praise the Lucky Dip lords.”

Further I was relieved to find out she wasn’t a fresher, even just turning 21 myself I thought it might be slightly dusty, and even better she wasn’t an engineer, and is about to take a paper I took a while back, depending on how the night went I might be able to share my shitty notes.

After puffing my chest out for 2 and a half hours it came to a natural end, where we went outside and exchanged snapchats before a hug and then heading off. I seriously considered trying to extend the evening but nerves got the best of me and I pussied out of asking.

Part of me is worried she’s gonna rip me to shreds and say my chat was abominable and that I was a boring dumb breather etc, but I have my hopes that she won’t. I managed on not spending all of the voucher to potentially set up another date, it was suggested and whether she was just being polite or not agreed, I guess I’ll know after reading her write up, either way, thanks Canta for setting up a great night!

After the initial ick of the “I am from Gore” statement, we got along really well! The minutes turned to hours, awkward silences turned to “so do you have any plants in your room”, and we were away and humming. For someone who said he was mildly allergic to peanuts, he sure did enjoy his peanut gelato. I guess a bit of adrenaline and mouth to mouth was what I was hoping for anyway?

There was talk of using the rest of the voucher another time, smooth move lad. We swapped snap codes and there was a promise of a message sometime. The walk out was as awkward as you can imagine. Do you hug? Fist pump? I was not sure, but to my surprise, he said “give me a hug!”. Love a man who knows what he wants. Overall was a successful date once I got over the initial shit-your-pants feeling.

Sorry Gore Boy that my chat was shit, I think I said awesome about 37 times whoops, I promise I am more exciting than that xox. Maybe you can find that out on round 2?

- Happy Lucky Dipper

Ben OʼConnell (he/they)

HOROSCOPES.

This week, prioritise men in the same way politicians prioritise mental health; don’t.

I’m so so sorry I hate to interrupt, but have you had your inner health plus today?

ARIES TAURUS GEMINI

No! we’ve been over this babe please respect my boundaries. You can’t hold my dick while I pee!

Maybe you could treat yourself to those oven baked potato smiles. You deserve it x

Want to join a cult but hate social interaction? Have you considered buying a candle from goop?

‘Fed is best’ applies to adults too. Have another bread sandwich. A packet pasta. Eat some ass

When your landlord emails wondering where the last three weeks of rent are, just breathe. Remember, ignoring toxic people is self-care

Y’know I’ve written these horoscopes for how long now so I think I have earned the right to say that indeed scorpio is the best horoscope and so to you my fellow scorpio, have a fab week x

In moments of need repeat to yourself: I am strong. I am brave. I liked a three year old insta post from my crush and said ‘I’ve got mad game’ aloud in an empty room. I am fearless

But have you seen heartstopper yet? I’m gay so this is just me filling in my bi-weekly obligation to tell you about the latest gay™️ media. So have you seen it? Have you?? why am I like this

Male well-being is a need to use ‘well, actually’ once a week. Please show grace towards the sick

Every day is a new day. Another opportunity. Another chance to boast about your Richie McCaw weetbix card. Another chance to ripstik home in time for sticky tv. Ah simpler times