CANTA ISSUE 5, 2022

Editorial.

Gibson (she/her)

Kia ora e te whānau, how are you doing? Shit? Me too, don’t worry babe. I’m kind of joking because there is a lot to be grateful for in life, please remember that! But I’m also not joking as it is that third week of uni buzz where shit just starts to hit the fan a little bit too hard. Anyway, sending all my love to you as you become a real Christopher Columbus on that third week of uni navigation grind. Good luck, sailor.

Anyway, small talk and formalities are out of the way, haere mai to our Relationships issue! This issue is composed of a multitude of different perspectives on all things relationships.

I want to take you back, dear reader, and reminisce on the days of primary school relationships. Because truly, these were something else! It had to have been around year four when the majority of kiddies - speaking for myself at least - became romantically interested in other peeps. It was pretty revolutionary at my school, because I don’t wanna flex on you or anything, but I was the first chica in my year group to get into a relationship. I know, monumental and legitimately think my life has been on a downhill path ever since.

If you know, you know the immaculate vibes that were primary school relationships. You’d speak once to this person and genuinely that conversation would consist of a whole exchange of six words - not too different from today actually. Then their mate would come up to you a few days later and inform you about how this individual may or may not have a crush on you. Then you would go back and congregate with your girlies and then get them to tell soand-so’s mates that you’re interested as well. Very spicy.

Emily Heyward (she/her)

He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tāngata, he tāngata, he tāngata. What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is people, it is people.

This issue of CANTA is all about relationships! From romantic relationships, friendships, and connection to your culture, to toxic relationships, relationships with different communities, and your on-and-off relationship with Tinder - we’ve got you covered.

For me, the most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself. Cheesy? Maybe. But am I right? I don’t know. But it is the only relationship that’s guaranteed to last forever.

CHEESY ? MAYBE. BUT AM I RIGHT? I DON’T KNOW

All relationships take work. Even the ones with ourselves. And the ones with ourselves are one of the easiest to neglect when things get busy. We often spend a lot of time trying to take care of the people around us (which is amazing) but in the process sometimes we forget about doing the same for ourselves.

Then the time would come. Both you, old mate, your friends, and old mate’s friends would assemble at lunchtime and the question would be asked. “Do you wanna go out?” they would ask, and you would reply and say, “yes.” Your friends would make those ‘oooh’ sounds and you would proceed to awkwardly hug. Oh, to be young! Since then, things have gotten a bit more complicated. But don’t worry dear reader, because we will have all of your relationship conundrums and queries answered! Even if that is through the means of David Seymour, we’ve got your back.

Sit back, relax, and indulge in the CANTA team’s take on relationships.

Arohanui, El xxx

Sometimes it takes me a hot second to realise that the reason I’m sobbing in bed for the third time in a week is actually because I haven’t been looking after myself or talking kindly to myself. Why am I sharing this? In the hopes that maybe you’ll resonate and go and take yourself out on a wee date because you deserve it. xo

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this issue as much as I do!

Mā te wā, Emily x

Ella

PRESIDEN T’S PIECE

Kia ora koutou, Hope the new term is going swimmingly for you so far. How good is it to have so many faces back on campus? It has been great to see.

Over at the UCSA, we are starting office hours now that we are at the Orange traffic light setting. More information is available on our social media pages, but feel free to swing by if we’re in the offices – have a yarn, tell us what issues are facing you, and find out more about the UCSA in general.

The UCSA AGM is this week. Come along to Undercroft 101 at 12pm on Wednesday the 18th to hear the annual report of your student’s association spoken to. This will include a breakdown of the year preceding, the year ahead, services performance, and a financial overview. I’ll also be taking questions, so if you have a burning question or commentary there has never been a better time to ask ‘em!!! If that isn’t enough, there will be food provided, AND spot prizes! You could bag yourself $50 cash, or passes to Tea Party 2022 (which will be happening this year, bar the sky falling or something crazy like that happening).

The People’s Inquiry into Student

Wellbeing is ongoing, and I would encourage you to fill it out if you have not already. The results will be used to lobby the government to better protect and support the interests of students. Check out our socials for more info.

Anyway, that’s all from me, stay safe.

Pierce

Pierce Crowley (he/him)

TUMUAKI PIECE

To all tauira Māori in tertiary education, I commend you.

I commend you, for entering these institutions to better yourself, your whānau and hāpori. I commend you, for being one of the few indigenous people in your class. I commend you, for being in white institutions that do not always support your ahurea, your reo, your tikanga, your voice and your value as a tauira Māori.

It is not easy for any tertiary student. Let us do better. Support one another. Let us keep collectively pushing for more equitable outcomes for all.

As my final year quickly dawns upon me and my Tumuaki role, we are setting up our legacy and our succession. Any student can be an advocate. All students have unique experiences. One thing I have learnt over my three years within Te Akatoki is that, first and foremost, you must listen. Listen to those around you, to those who came before and to those who want to come in after. Our roles are to be a mouthpiece for the student body. So, I have a pātai to pose to us all: How are you using the voice you have as a student and young person? What do you support? What do you want to see be done at UC? What legacy do you want to leave behind? I don’t ask this as a marketing for advocacy ploy, more so as a reminder that we are here to listen and act alongside you.

Our whare is always open for those who would like to engage. We often get people saying, “but I’m pākehā, I don’t feel it is my place to join Te Akatoki and your Kaupapa”. Mō wai tēnei whare, mō tātou. Who is this whare for? It is for all of us. Nō reira, come have a kōrero with us or come along to an event.

90 Ilam Road - Te Whare Ākonga o Te Akatoki.

Rosa Hibbert-Schooner (she/her)

news. cant a

USING AI TO WRITE ESSAYS ISN’T CHEATING STUDENT SAYS

Emily Heyward (she/her)

“I was really struggling. My grades were solid C and I was working so hard,” Essay Witch admits.

Essay Witch is the name they have given themselves ahead of our interview. When we meet over Zoom, their camera is positioned so that their face is out of view. Instead, a t-shirt with a witch on it fills the screen.

They are nervous about revealing their identity; fearful of the consequences that may come from what they are about to disclose.

They have been using AI software to write their essays this year.

“I don’t think of this as cheating. People use it for getting over writer’s block.”

Essay Witch learnt about the software during their summer internship. The company they were working for was using it to generate content.

“I was seeing this is what people use in the real world. This is one of the tools that’s available and it’s kind of silly that we don’t use it.”

They explain that they had been struggling with essay writing. They thought if people could use it in the “real world”, why couldn’t they use it at uni?

“I have the knowledge, I have the lived experience, I’m a good student, I go to all the tutorials and I go to all the lectures and I read everything we have to read but I kind of felt I was being penalised because I don’t write eloquently and I didn’t feel that was right.”

Essay Witch shows me how the technology works. They use an example essay question, add in a few descriptions so the AI knows what style the essay needs to be in, and the AI starts generating paragraphs. And it looks coherent.

From inputting the essay question into the document, to generating a complete essay, Essay Witch reckons it probably takes half an hour at the most to have a comprehensive 1,000 word essay.

They reckon the software is an “assistance” like Grammarly and argue that students aren’t penalised for using Grammarly which relies on AI to improve the user’s writing, so question what the difference is.

“I looked through the [UC] rules and it says you can’t get somebody else to [do the assessment]. Well it’s not somebody, it’s AI.

“I know there are people in my class paying people to write essays. I think that’s wrong. This is not the same thing …This is using tools that are there. I think it’s okay,” Essay Witch says.

news. cant a

“It’s not copying. It’s not plagiarism. Nobody else has this content. It’s original content.”

And they have gone from getting C’s to B’s and even A-’s.

Stephen Hickson, a proctor whose job it is to investigate any breaches of discipline at UC, says “an entire essay written by AI is no different from one written by another person”.

“It’s always been OK to get your mum (or the Academic Skills Centre) to read your essay or assignment and provide you with feedback that will improve the final product. The thinking, research, analysis and results remain largely in their original form and the work remains substantively yours.

“It’s never been OK to get your mum (or anyone else, whether you know them or not) to write your submission. This would be considered academic dishonesty. It’s not your work and you are attempting to pass it off as such.”

Hickson says, “When submitting a piece of work ask yourself this question – if the Proctor were to ask me “how did you put together this piece of work?” Would the answer clearly and convincingly convey that the work is substantively yours in both content and expression? … If the process you went through to arrive at the final product doesn’t have your intellect, time, blood, sweat and tears firmly and clearly at the centre of it then you have probably crossed from legitimate to not legitimate.”

UC had a 258 percent increase in academic misconduct in 2020 compared to 2019, according to reporting by RNZ.

See Stephen Hickson’s full comment on our website.

STUDENTS ANXIOUS ABOUT CRIMINAL ACTIVITY IN UNI SUBURBS

Alex Carter (she/her)

As we enter the last leg of semester one, students have noticed an increase of crime in the surrounding university areas.

The increase of crime and break-ins is causing anxiety for students, especially when the cost of living has increased.

Repairs for damaged or stolen items causes extra strain on already financially struggling students. One student told CANTA they were concerned about parking their car in the area.

“I’m disappointed. The increase of break-ins makes me feel unsafe to park my car literally anywhere.”

Some students have suggested neighbourhood patrols for extra safety, but concerns arise surrounding the party culture and getting parties shut down too early.

NZ police advise locking your valuables away and not leaving valuables in cars overnight if cars are parked out on the street, and suggest steering locks for extra protection against car theft.

For those students struggling financially, there are welfare packages offered by the UCSA to help with groceries and other financial issues.

If you are feeling unsafe in your neighborhood, call 105 to get into contact with the police.

There is also an official victim support line for those who have dealt with a crime to help those deal with the effects of crime which can be found on the Victims Information government website.

news. cant a

TUTOR SUPPORT FOR STUDENTS

Alex Carter (she/her)

Finding a job that is flexible with the university lifestyle is difficult. University can be difficult at the worst of times and finding specialized tutors to help in courses can be difficult if students don’t know where to look.

Jason Hart, a 29-year-old medical student from the University of Otago has created an online platform for students nationwide.

Jason contacted CANTA to spread the word to University of Canterbury students who are interested on an online tutoring platform to help students who need tutors, or to help earn themselves some extra cash while teaching what they have learnt.

The website and business called Tutor4u was created over the summer of 2022. Jason noticed a decline in nationwide good grades due to the pandemic that began in 2020. The business is in the early stages of development and requires students and tutors nationwide to ensure success. Tutor4u is a marketplace platform with private tutors.

“You can be your own boss; choose how much you earn from each session and change your availability if you get busy with your own studies” Jason shares.

Tutors are needed for courses running from NCEA level 1, right through to post-grad courses.

Jason has worked alongside the police in order to create a safe environment for tutors. This includes a vetting application that tutors need to go through when they apply.

The website is designed to accept all tutors of any level to be able to get paid for their specialized subjects. For $8 a month, ($6 for students), tutors can get their profile published to a wider community where students who need tutors can find them.

Creating an online platform that can allow students and tutors alike to work and learn remotely, ensures that anyone across the country has access to further education.

If students who feel confident enough to tutor and who want to earn some extra cash, this is how you sign up:

Hop onto the website at www.tutor4u.co.nz, create a free login and a personalized area for yourself. Once you have signed up, you can access SLACK accounts to communicate with other tutors from across the country.

Jason hopes that some students from the University of Canterbury sign up to become tutors on the website.

FAKE UCSA NotiCEboArd

lol @ thE pErSoN who wAS tryiNg to hit oN EllA throUgh thE ANoN SUbmiSSioN AlSo, y’All ArE iN For A trEAt iN A CoUplE oF pAgES

@dAvid SEymoUr. yoU CAN hEAr him ‘SiNgiNg’’ iN oUr lAtESt CANtA rANtA podCASt EpiSodE

thE rEAl qUEStioNS NEEd to bE ASKEd

hopE yoU liKEd it! xx

NiCE oNE brothEr

UrgENt mAttErS!

WHAT DATING ARE YOU?

APP

Basic Bitch

“Loves a drink or 10 xo”

Talks too loudly

Overuses the phrase “go hard or go home”

Emily Heyward (she/her)

Loves a deep and meaningful

Froths a wine and cheese night

Very career-focused

Listens to sad music when depressed

Sends nudes

Loves day drinking

Doesn’t beat around the bush

Spontaneous

Always the centre of attention

Has resting bitch face

Never pays for drinks on a night out

Has never been hungover

Wholesome

The mum of the friend group

Teacher’s pet

Talks about crime podcasts too much

Desperate AF A virgin Spends too much time online

Catfish

ANd thE mArgiNAl

tiNdEr thE good, thE bAd

Ella Gibson (She/Her)

I took to the UCSA Noticeboard to find out about your anonymous Tinder experiences. Y’all really did not shy away. But if yours made it in, trust me, you made it through the heap because Tinder experiences seem to be limitless, apparently. Anyway, here they are; the Good, the Bad, and the Marginal experiences from the wild world of Tinder.

“I went on this date with this guy from Tinder and we met up at Hoyts in Westfield Mall to see a movie and throughout the movie he was so loud eating the popcorn and laughing at parts that WERE NOT funny at all! People from other rows would look at him because his laugh was so loud. Oh, and I forgot to add that he told me to pay because he had left his wallet at home. This cost me too much for a uni student while I knew he worked full time, after the horrible date he didn’t talk to me when leaving and left without a goodbye. Later I realised I got blocked… left feeling #used.”

been with my boyfriend since December, the worst thing about meeting someone on tinder is old people's reaction when you tell them you meet online.”

“Went on a Tinder date and got pizza for lunch, went back to his place and his girlfriend pulled up. I ran.”

“Matched with a stunning, kind and, devastatingly witty girl I had apparently met once or twice before but had no recollection of. Quickly stumbled into a relationship and not looking back.”

“I swiped on a man because he said he was 6’11 and I was so impressed I wanted to see it in person. He was in fact 6’11 and yes his dick was huge.”

“Matched with a guy who messaged me first a generic greeting of some sort, and then messaged again ten minutes later when I hadn’t responded and then another ten minutes after that when I still hadn’t responded and then a final message a further five minutes later saying, and I quote, “you stupid fucking ugly whore you don’t understand how much of a catch I am, you will never find someone has good as me I hope you die alone miserable and sad” …. It was 4am and I was asleep.”

“We have a “Tinder Bingo” board at our flat. You’ve got the classics all covered; hunting pic, “Homeowner”, vulgar topless photo, token picture with fish (ick), “6ft cause it matters apparently” & the new classic “fully vaxxed”. Goes down great for games night. Trust me it won't take long to win this version of bingo.”

“Met a guy that seemed nice, he replied to my snaps fast, told me i was hot then swiftly ghosted me after i told him i wasn't looking for a quick hookup :(”

“Had a guy tell me I looked like his sister. He then proceeded to tell me how much he wanted to fuck me… this lead me to deleting the app.”

“I’ve

“This guy called me pretty one night and then the next day he said that was his d talking and proceeded to call me chugly and block me.”

“I only had 1 Tinder hookup (we met a couple of times but was the same guy) and he was wonderful! Kind, considerate, excellent in bed, and just a great person! When I talk to my friends about their Tinder experiences… I realise that I somehow struck gold the one and only time I did it. Only downside is I found out later that he was a childhood best friend of my current partner. Lol.”

“On the second date with a girl I matched with on Tinder, she introduced me to her pet who immediately started acting strangely. Of course I went with her to the vet to get it checked out and ended up being moral support because the pet had to be put down then and there. Talk about trauma bonding.”

“Took a year to get over my ex and download Tinder... got chlamydia on the first go lol.”

“Good root.”

“Matched with an old friend from high school on Tinder. He came over, thought we were just gonna hang out and watch a movie. While we were cuddling/talking at the start he kept saying, “omg girls hate me like idk why, they all just seem to all hate me all the time” and I’m thinking okay that’s weird, you were nice in high school. Fast forward, end up doing the devil's tango and it was a really really really poor 2 mins (not the worst part). We fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to him gone from my bed and then he blocked me on Facebook and deleted me from tinder. We had been friends for about 6 years prior to that. I can see why girls hate him so much! I do too!”

“Had a cone with a random guy off Tinder, had a next level panic, hyperventilating, crying, and everything not good.”

“My flatmate matched with a guy on Tinder who, after only a few hang outs, sent her an 8 minute long audio message telling her how much he loved her. Why?!”

“I was talking to some lad down south who was going to be coming up in a few weeks and he asked if he paid me if I could come pick him up. We were bored as hell so my mate and I typed in the address and headed down to Dunedin. We finally got there and realised the address was in a town 2 hours over, not in Dunedin. He found a ride to chch and we met him back there after our long day of driving and I went to his house for a sub-par root in his king single. Oh, to be young.”

“Once took a girl home who then proceed to ask me to hold a knife to her throat and make her bleed a little whilst we done the deed I politely decline and she then sat in my room for about two hours and wouldn't leave after making small comments advising her to leave I finally told her she had to leave because I had to do my washing. Never spoke to her again.

“So I took this Tinder chick surfing, she got smashed in the nose by the board and it started to bleed. Anyway, events occurred later that night which required the services of plan B. There were some strange looks my way from the pharmacists regarding the wound on the bridge of her nose, I swear I was going to be wheeled away in a cop car at any minute.”

“Started with a cheeky u up?

Ended with me doing speed with her mum in the back of the club bathroom, an interesting night to say the least.”

“Matched with a classmate... We haven't talked about it yet.”

“Banged a dude from Tinder, his flat mates asked me to sign the guestbook afterwards. I was the first entry.”

“Told me I should be “doing more with my life”. No second date obviously. I was doing more with my life.”

“I have a gap between my top front teeth and the last (and best) tinder message I ever got was'' I bet I could fit my cock between your two front teeth” from an absolute breather with a kina. I had just started talking to my future bf at the time so unfortunately we never found out if his floss-esque penis could do the job.”

“Went on a couple of dates with this chick. On the second date, we bumped into an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a couple of years, so naturally I gave her a hug. And that's when my date LOST HER SHIT. Started screaming at me for cheating on her (we were on date 2, definitely not exclusive) and threw her drink at my friend. I noped out, went home and deleted my Tinder account. Thought that was the end of it but then a couple of weeks later I started getting messages on facebook from random guys who said I'd stood them up. Turns out this girl had been so angry she'd created a new account for me on Tinder and matched with a whole bunch of people that she then stood up. Was a whole lot of damage control to try and sort that mess out. Still didn't learn my lesson of course and was back on Tinder two months later. Yikes.”

“I met my fiancé on Tinder 3 years ago and now we are expecting our first baby together and looking at buying a house! Makes all my other shitty tinder hookups seem worth it.”

‘Honestly all my Tinder experiences have been mean! Met some great people, had some awesome sex, and had my ego well and truly boosted. Would recommend it!”

“I had a really good experience with Tinder! I joined for a bit of fun thinking nothing would come of it but there’s actually some really genuine people on there! I matched with this one guy and we talked on tinder for a bit and moved to snap! We have been talking for a few months and have hung out a couple times! It’s going really well and I never thought I could make a connection with someone this strong that I met on Tinder!”

“My flatmate and I decided to each invite a guy around from Tinder so that there would be more people to defend someone if something got ugly in the other room, stranger danger is real guys. The guy I invited over came and we hung out for a while and you know a bit of this a bit of that and then we didn’t talk afterwards. Fast forward about two years later my sister, who happens to look a lot like me, was telling me she was going to go meet up with a guy that night and was super excited to show me his profile and it was none other than my only ever Tinder one night stand. It was a close call but we put a stop to it.”

“Got a message from a match saying “you look like you would enjoy a bag on your head.” Safe to say that was the end of my tinder endeavours for a while.”

“He showed up to the date hungover from a party he’d been to the night before. I found out later that it was a sex party hosted by my ex and his new girlfriend and he’d hooked up with both of them…”

“Went on 3 dates with this girl in first year, I decided she was a little crazy and not for me so I decided to break it off after she told me she loved me (it had literally been three dates) so she decided to go out the very next day and buy a lizard and call him Gus (my name).”

“The girl I went on a date with said she was a big fan of the Holocaust.”

“Matched with the guys’ mum who used to bully me in high school, yet to tell him that I might be his uncle soon.”

“Went out one night, matched with my hot electrician, best sex ever.”

“Bit a chunk of my lip off and gave me chlamydia.”

HEAT ONE.

MAY 4TH

Desafinado

ABANDONED CARPARKS

ETERNAL SCORN

The BeauChamPs

HEAT TWO.

MAY 18TH

CROWN Kenring

GE CH O

MISSING MABEL

HEAT THREE.

JUNE 1ST

CAMERON GIDDENS

SECOND HAND GOODS

MONK SEALS

HELICOPTER

HEAT FOUR.

JUNE 15TH

Single Malt

Tusekah

LayaRounD RAGWEED

Ma rs ha

LIVE, ONLY AT A ROLLING STONE

579 COLOMBO STREET

PRESENTS

7PM DOORS OPEN ( FREE SALS PIZZA! )

8PM HOUSE BAND WARM UP THE PA .

8.45PM FIRST UOC BAND TAKES THE STAGE.

ROCK BOLD. CHEER HARD.

TIME TO UNEARTH ANOTHER UOC LEGEND.

GIVE ALL YOU CAN, THEN GIVE SOME MORE.

KAP A TE REO MAORI AND HAKA

Anna Belle Pohatu

Tōku reo, tōku ohooho, tōku reo, tōku mapihi maurea.

My language is my awakening, my language is the window to my soul.

Kapa haka is widely known as the Māori performing arts but for Māori it is the living, breathing, and beautiful essence of our culture. Through our waiata, we are able to talk about our rich history, our people, and more importantly, kōrero reo Māori.

Kapa haka has grown over the decades, from iwi singing waiata within their own pā, to having representative teams participate in Regional and National Competitions televised across the nation (Te Maro, Te Mana Kuratahi, Te Matatini).

There are many kapa haka groups (within schools or communities) in different regions across Aotearoa that participate in many competitions and perform overseas.

Kapa haka is the revitalisation of Te Reo

and our tikanga. Many iwi write their waiata about their history, people, or tikanga. As Te Reo Māori is an oral language, through music we are able to pass down our history and tikanga to our future generations.

For tauira who are wanting to start on their journey of Te Reo Māori, kapa haka is the best step. Kapa haka is a safe and rich place to learn not only the language but more about the culture and traditions.

thErE ArE plENty oF opportUNitiES to grAb oNto:

Te Akatoki welcomes everyone to Kapa Haka every Thursday at Tī Kouka at 5:00pm - 7:00pm. This is a cool way to meet other tauira and learn waiata together!

We also offer Tū Taua every Monday at Tī Kouka at 6:00pm - 8:00pm. Tū Taua is the practices of ancient Māori Weaponry. An opportunity to exercise and learn more about Māori traditions.

These sessions are both run by Awatea Pokai and Kiliona Tamati-Tupa’i (Pou Ahurea for Te Akatoki)

NAU mAi, tAUti mAi Ki tE KApA hAKA A tE AKAtoKi!

There is a beginners Kapa Haka paper (MAOR 282) in the Arts Degree which is a cool opportunity to learn more about the history of kapa haka traditions, while learning the waiata as well.

He toki nga pae ki te ao Marama.

The man, the myth, the meme. Editors Emily Heyward and Ella Gibson sat down with ACT Leader David Seymour to chat relationships, social media abuse and Winston Peters.

GET TO KNOW

DAVID SEYM

Emily Heyward (she/her) & Ella Gibson (she/her)

How would you describe David the person versus David the politician in three words?

I think as a person, thoughtful, hopeful and kind. As a politician, public policy focused.

What’s the most important relationship to you?

Oh definitely FG = M1 x M2 x The Gravitational Constant / The square of the distance between M1 and M2. Without the gravitational relationship, we would all be falling apart, there would be no attraction whatsoever.

Social media can be a difficult space at the best of times let alone when you’re in the public eye. What’s your relationship with social media like?

I think it’s really important first of all to be numeric, and what I mean by that is to understand that a couple of dozen people who are really angry can create several hundred comments by going off at each other, but actually that’s still only a couple of dozen people. So often, we’ll often have a whole lot of angry people on my comments section but then I’m like oh well there’s like 2,000 likes so whatever.

We know that a lot of female politicians have had a lot of abuse on social media. Have you ever experienced abuse where you have been worried about your safety?

First of all let me just acknowledge that for whatever reason, and I don’t fully understand why this is, I just wish it wasn’t, that my experience of watching the way that people talk to and threaten female politicians is different and it’s just really cowardly and pathetic and I wish people would stop doing that. If you are doing that, just stop being a dick.

I was going to Whanganui and there was this guy who was threatening me and I looked at his profile and it was him with a whole lot of knives and then it turned out he lived in Whanganui. So I contacted the police and said look I don’t normally complain about these things but here’s the situation: he’s threatening violence against me, he’s got a whole lot of knives in his profile pic, he lives in Whanganui and I’m about to go to Whanganui. Anyway, the Police got back and said we’ve looked at it, those knives look like they’re plastic and fake so don’t worry. Anyway, I went there and no one attacked me so it was all good.

How do you navigate maintaining healthy friendships outside of politics?

I think that there has to be, first of all, some sort of anchor point, so you need to have a common interest of some sort. Me and one of my really close friends we’re quite grounded in that we both have a lot of time and respect for science. Also there has to be some reciprocity in friendships, so there’s got to be things that you each get out of each other and that’s really helpful for keeping at a stable equilibrium. There has to be a certain amount of fun in it too.

How do you navigate forming and maintaining relationships with different politicians and different parties across the House?

I just tell them that they’re wrong and I’m right and then if they don’t accept that, that’s the end of the conversation. Here’s the thing, people say things like ‘oh it’s so nice, we’re all friends really behind closed doors’. First of all, it’s not true. If you thought they were great people, why did you stand yourself, you should have just let them have this lifestyle. And second of all, you think about the countries where the politicians agree, there’s no debate or dispute. All the politicians are friends in North Korea. We have a healthy, contestable democracy and it’s got to be professional. I mean look, there’s people that are just so tiresome and very difficult to do business with but you do anyway. If you look at Winston Peters, I think that guy is an idiot but we did business to get End of Life Choice done and that’s given hundreds of people choice at the end of their life and I think that’s right.

How important do you think it is to take care of yourself and do you get time to?

I definitely think that there are basic things you can do that will improve your performance and they have a positive feedback loop. Probably one of the things that I’m pretty terrible at doing but everyone should get good at is just keeping your glucose levels up. No one’s going to vote for a hangry person. Trying to just take the time to have some toast in the morning makes a big difference. I think a lot of people fail to do that and are just going around hangry and starting wars and shit, it’s all pretty terrible. So yeah, I’m all over the glucose.

Check out the rest of this interview on the CANTA RANTA podcast. Hear what the ACT Leader has to say about postgrad allowances, free tertiary education and the next election. Search ‘CANTA RANTA’ on SoundCloud or go to our website for the latest episode.

CLUB CORNER

Stella Cheersmith (she/her)

Did you find the sausage sizzle on Clubs Day? Then you probably know about the Student Volunteer Army! Stella Cheersmith caught up with club President Sophie Clarke and Events Marketer Alyssa Greaney to hear more about their mahi.

So whAt’S thE hiStory oF thE SvA?

Sophie: Sam Johnson was the founder of the club, in 2010 - the club was actually formed before the 2011 earthquake. [Sam] saw that the community didn’t like the students at UC, so he decided to do some clean-up to make the students look a bit better in the eyes of the public. They got this group together which was quite small, but once the earthquakes hit, the framework was set up so everyone could join easily, and they went out and cleared up silt. It improved volunteering and the look of students in the community.

ANd whAt’S yoUr pErSoNAl hiStory with thE ClUb?

Alyssa: I joined in my first year at university, just as a volunteer. I worked with the [SVA] exec during lockdown helping to screen the volunteers for the grocery delivery service, which was a pretty big thing when they did it for the first time. I’ve always been into volunteering, I’ve done lots of collections with the Child Cancer [Foundation] and CanTeen when I was younger. Basically it’s just in my blood!

VOLUNTEER ARMY

Sophie: I’m a bit different. I didn’t go to many [SVA events] in first year, I hate to admit. But I decided I would join at the end of first year, and I was the Events Marketer, and then last year I was Secretary, and now President! Before uni I never really did volunteering, there weren’t many opportunities where I lived. I’ve kind of assessed what I want to do with my life, and understood my values, and I try to make everything I do align with those [values]. It’s definitely tough finding time for everything, but [volunteering] always adds to my knowledge and my studies.

whAt’S thE SvA doiNg thiS yEAr?

Sophie: We’ve just done a beach clean-up with Sustainable Coastlines. We like to get a bunch of community organisations working with us, to get that collaboration going.

Alyssa: We’ve had a camp in Oamaru, collaborating with Otago SVA, doing planting and sorting recycling!

Sophie: It’s definitely been a bit different this year, because this is the first year that we didn’t have the Big Give. Because of Covid, the community groups weren’t able to put on the projects we were going to do, so we are moving to the start of next semester. And really soon we’ve got the Silverstream Reserve planting, so these community groups have set up this amazing little reserve that anyone can go to, and we’re gradually building up the area with native trees.

how CAN wE KEEp Up with thE ClUb oNliNE?

Alyssa: We have Instagram and Facebook: @uc_sva. We also have the Student Volunteer Army app, where you can add the UC SVA team and get notifications when new events are coming up! Definitely recommend that.

Sophie: And finally our website, www.sva. org.nz, you’ll find all the information about our events, and it also has the grocery stuff that we do during Covid. So if we’re ever in lockdown again, you can hop on there and grab some groceries :)

CLUB PROMOTER

University of Canterbury Disabled Students’ Association

The University of Canterbury Disabled Students’ Association is a club made by disabled students for disabled students. Our aim is to advocate for disabled students at UC and have fun along the way. We do events such as games night so be sure to catch us at our next event. To sign-up visit our Facebook page or email ucdsa0@gmail.com alongside your name, email, and student ID. Hope to see you there.

The Investment Society

The Investment Society is UC’s largest commerce-oriented club, established in 2014. Our goal is to encourage students and members of the wider UC community to increase their understanding of finance and money – whether it be directing students towards careers in the commerce space, or educating members about financial literacy. The club is open to everybody no matter their background. And with no cost to sign up, The Investment Society offers its members many benefits such as access to exciting academic and social events, networking, and even the occasional free Red Bull. Follow us on all your favourite social media platforms to stay up to date with our latest events.

UC Crimsoc

Crimsoc is a club that has a strong focus on community and the growth of students who pursue a degree in Criminal Justice. Through volunteering endeavours at regional prisons, to bringing real life experts on campus, we give students every opportunity to meet professionals in the areas of corrections, CSI, intelligence, border security, police and more. Crimsoc also supplies group tutoring for students for papers during exam time, and connects students to personal tutors for those looking to get ahead and make an impact. And of course, we also have plenty of social events such as boot camps and quiz nights to get everyone together to meet their peers. Criminal Justice is the degree of making a difference, and our friendly, social, and supportive club looks to make every difference in university lives of students here at UC.

Cider Society

Are you a passionate ciderholic who is keen to experience new ciders and broaden your horizons? If not you should be! According to Healthline, there’s evidence that suggests cider has heaps of health benefits plus, cider tastes amazing! We cater to all cider lovers from the novice to the well-cultured! Cider Society holds cider tastings and BYOs throughout the year. Last year we had our biggest tasting yet with 22 different ciders from 7 different cideries! We’ve also recently partnered with Tower Junction Liquorland to bring our members discounted ciders and drinks! Find us on Facebook @cidersociety and Instagram @uccidersociety.

DRINKING GAME RULES

Ella Waterreus (she/her)

Before you get started, get a cup, and anyone that’s playing adds some of their drink. Then when you land on one of these, add more to it! Whoever loses the game, drinks the cup!

Player who lands on categories picks one, like drink brands or sex positions. The first person who says something that’s already been said or can’t, DRINK.

Drink what you throw (Eg: roll a 6, have 6 sips).

Everyone puts 3 fingers up. Go around and say something you haven’t done. Anyone that has, puts a finger down. First person out of fingers finishes their drink.

This could be any first. The best ones are usually first time, first kiss etc.

Stand up and give a toast. Might be someone’s birthday, or simply that your flatty made a good dinner.

Until your next turn, try to ask other players questions. If they reply, they drink. BUT, if they reply “fuck you question master”, you drink. This doesn’t have to be the one on your foot, but you need to pour a good amount of your vessel into a shoe.

All other players can make up either a truth or dare depending on what you pick.

Until your next turn, anyone who you make eye contact with has to drink.

Anyone can whisper you a question, the answer has to be someone who’s playing, and say it out loud. Then flip a coin, heads you say the question, tails you don’t.

Funnel the rest of your drink. Don’t have a funnel? No worries, shotgun a fresh one instead!

layers on either side of you drink.

Player who lands on rhyme picks a word, like categories. Everyone says a rhyming word until someone doubles up or can’t, they drink.

Once a player lands on this, the last person to put their hand in the air drinks.

Anyone can ask you questions and you have to be honest, don’t get caught in a lie or you drink.

Go back to Kings Cup tile (L).

Anyone who is single, takes a sip.

ANYONE who hasn’t got their hair tied up, long or short, drinks.

Grab and spin an empty bottle. Kiss (or give a drink to) who it lands on.

Share an embarrassing moment. It could be in the bedroom, or from your childhood… anyone who says they don’t have one is a liar. Find a playing card. It’s pretty straight forward; whoever drops it in their exchange, shares a little kiss.

Players can all pick 3 people. Most decent people pick those who aren’t present.

FL AT FAMOUS

Kia Ora! Ella, Bonnie, and Heidi here!

When we are not spending our time walking to St. Albans park and ripping anti-vax stickers off the children’s playground, you can probably find us sitting in the lounge at home spending time with our new kitten Lily or watching movies on our comically small television. The most prized possession in the flat is either our POP! Vinyl figure of ‘Cowboy McNugget’ or the giant mural in the garage of (what we think are) sports teams that came with the flat.

Classically, we procrastinated this for too long, so here is a quick-fire list of random facts about us:

Ella (she/her)

Loves Cats (the musical)

Flat Dad (mows the lawns)

Spilt her first RAT test on the floor

Got us tickets to Harry Styles <3

Bonnie (she/her)

Token bisexual

Thinks she is a woman in STEM because she set up the wifi modem

Has an unhealthy obsession with the history of the RMS Titanic Found out she was colourblind through a meme on Facebook

Heidi (she/her)

Possible addiction to Coca-Cola

Is the only one in the flat who managed to not get COVID

Keeps forgetting to cancel her Hello Fresh orders Once said her favourite Coldplay song was Fireflies

Lily (she/her) (cat)

The best member of the flat

Has to deal with Ella and Bonnie singing Cats to her when Heidi leaves the house

Has taught herself to open the bathroom door

Attacks feet

ELLA

whAt do yoU ANd yoUr bEStiE liKE to do oN A SAtUrdAy Night?

(A) Movie night with lots of snacks

(B) In the club, taking shots of tequila left, right, and centre

(C) Boogying all night long

(D) Catching up of work because the grind never stops

(E) Getting an early night for church in the morning

whAt iS thE moSt SimilAr thiNg AboUt yoU ANd yoUr bEStiE?

(A) You have a total of three brain cells combined

(B) You both are fashion icons

(C) You both love a karaoke night

(D) Both of you talk too much shit on the 10th floor of the library

(E) Y’all are both narcissists, hehe

whAt Food do yoU liKE to EAt togEthEr?

(A) Burgers

(B) Anything with a bit of spice

(C) Grubs

(D) Bagels

(E) Maccas

how did yoU ANd yoUr bEStiE bEComE FriENdS?

(A) You were neighbours

(B) You were in the same scene, mutual friends

(C) Flatting

(D) Workies

(E) Family friends

rESUltS

moStly AS: SpoNgEbob ANd pAtriCK

whAt moviE do yoU liKE to wAtCh togEthEr?

(A) Cartoons

(B) The Devil Wears Prada

(C) Disney!!!

(D) The Wolf of Wall Street

(E) Jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy

how woUld yoU bESt dESCribE yoU ANd yoUr bEStiE’S dAtiNg livES?

(A) Virtually non-existent

(B) Everyone wants to be with y’all, you just too good for them

(C) Single asf

(D) Exists only when convenient to you

(E) In long-term relationships

whAt mUSiC do y’All liKE to liStEN to whEN togEthEr?

(A) Music from the 2000s

(B) Whatever is playing on the radio right now

(C) Singalongs only

(D) Classical music

(E) Hip-hop

whAt do yoU lovE thE moSt AboUt yoUr bEStiE?

(A) Their positivity

(B) Their bad bitch energy

(C) Their spontaneity

(D) Their work play play hard mentality

(E) Their God-like aura

Y’all are super cute and honestly are out here loving life. Alas, the brain cells between the both of you are limited. But, hey, at least you’re having a great ol’ time.

moStly bS: lizzo ANd hArry StylES

You two are hot property and are the IT people right now. You’re probably trending on TikTok at the moment too. Try and leave some of the hotness for the rest of us, okay?

moStly CS: pUmbA ANd timoN

Optimistic and probably singing, we love you! Please do learn to shut the fuck up sometimes and maybe change your study location once in a while instead of being on fourth floor.

moStly dS: hArvEy SpECtrE ANd miChAEl roSS

You two are switched on and probably study Commerce or Law. Sometimes you hate each other, but at the end of the day, you’re each other’s’ fav.

moStly ES: KANyE ANd KANyE

Well, well, well, what have we got here? Two narcissists who think they’re God. You are definitely on aux at a party and have the best style, so that’s a plus.

Started in 2017/18 by a group of international students, New Zealand International Students’ Association (NZISA) is committed to bringing the international students’ voices out and about into the space of consultation and partnership with various institutions and government agencies across Aotearoa.

Moving forward with this strong vision, NZISA has collaborated with students’ associations and institutions to raise and address the concerning situations that international students face. Starting from mental health and wellbeing support to other issues such as immigration, insurance, Covid-19 and many more. NZISA, in partnership with various government agencies which include the Ministry of Education, Ministry of Ethnic Communities, Immigration New Zealand, and New Zealand Qualifications Authorities, channels these concerns to a respective government agency to help bring about changes that would shape a better future for international students in Aotearoa.

Today, NZISA is represented by nine international student leaders nationwide who are passionate about creating a safer space for international students in the community. Two of its leaders are currently studying at University of Canterbury - Vikram Selvaraj (National President 2022) and Ai Nee Looi (National Treasurer 2022). Here’s what they had to say:

“I’m Vikram, I’m an international student from Singapore, studying towards a Bachelor of Criminal Justice at the University of Canterbury. At UC, I had the opportunity to work with many international students through different events. I enjoyed connecting with people, and helping them feel like they belong made it rewarding. My experience in leading various teams and contributing to the international student community in NZ has led me to become the national president of NZISA 2022. My goal, as National President 2022, is to protect the interest of our international students’ well-being and create more awareness of NZISA in the community.”

“I am Ai Nee, a very proud Malaysian Chinese currently in my penultimate year pursuing a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Finance and Taxation & Accounting here at the University of Canterbury. I currently serve as the National Treasurer for NZISA 2022. I am also the Co-Director of the Bersatu Games 2022, the Treasurer of the UC Accounting Society and am an International & Inter-Hall Rep with the UC Student Volunteer Army. I am passionate about volunteering, standing up for youth and making a change in the community. I strongly believe that everyone is eligible and capable of speaking out and standing up for themselves and their community.

Coming from a developing country where the youth voice is still not being heard and there is a lack of youth participation, I find all the opportunities and lessons I have learnt here in Aotearoa so valuable. Therefore, I would like to take this chance to inspire other rangatahi and young women to bravely stand up for themselves and make a change. I cannot emphasize enough how we, as youths or even international students, should be confident and empowered to speak our mind and stand up for our community.”

NZISA stands for all international students’ voices as international students have always been its number one priority. In celebrating its 5thyear anniversary this year, NZISA is going on a road show to various institutions across Aotearoa where a oneday conference with various workshop sessions and fun activities will be put on for all international students. More information and updates will be posted on NZISA’s social media platforms - make sure to stay updated!

Website: www.nzisa.co.nz

Facebook: New Zealand International Students’ Association

Instagram: nz.isa

We are the champions of student employment.

sjs.co.nz

According to YouGov (a statistics research organisation), 41% of men and 28% of women thought about cheating. It begs the question: Is monogamy out of date?

It is easy to assume that people have always been monogamous. However, a look back in history can easily prove otherwise. Many ancient cultures, such as pre-Confucius Japan and ancient Greek and Rome practised polyamory. Romans practised polyamory as a breading program for warriors. In Japan, both women and men could take multiple spouses. Nonetheless, polyamory is more natural than one might think since monogamy is only observed in 3-5 per cent of the animal kingdom.

It is not until the rule of Christianity in the medieval period that things like adultery and the act of marriage that the idea of ‘devoting oneself to a single partner is God’s will’ really became a thing. Some historians have gone even further and argued that like many of the church’s policies back in those days, marriage was a political tool. Limiting people to one partner reduced the division of inheritance. In turn, the church ends up with more money.

Whilst love did exist back then, people especially the upper class, married as a means for political gain and status. This could be seen in the traditional long names of European families where each name represents a generation. However, this changed after the French revolution where polyamory had a short resurgence until the 18th Century when Romanticism took hold.

Since Romanticism was a counterculture movement to the Enlightenment, it represented emotional expression over the idea that it is God’s will or political strategy. Here is where the idea of the modern notion that one should marry for love and the idea of soulmates comes from. This alongside the infamous Victorian morality further ingrains the notion of monogamy.

As we can see above, the idea of polyamory is clearly socially constructive and as we enter an increasingly more secular world, polyamory and open relationships are more of a thing. However, despite the odds, monogamy still remains one of the main ways of having relationships, and part of this is that the ideals of the romantic era still linger to this day.

I would therefore like to conclude that it’s time to rethink our relationship with the idea that we are destined to have one partner. We often think the idea that of a partner cheating on us or somebody falling out of love, is morally bad. However, it is time to ask ourselves if this is really realistic?

Philosophy often gets a bad rap for being too logical. After all, isn’t love and devotion something to be cherished and held to be sacred? Isn’t it then absurd to make love something logical? However, I would answer this question by saying that to chase the doctrine of unconditional emotions is equally so.

Leo He (he/them)

Heartstopper is having its moment. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you go watch it right now before continuing reading (even if you aren’t queer, you should watch it). Despite the core of Heartstopper being focused on the fluffy teen romance of Nick and Charlie, the platonic love between all the characters often brings just as much joy and acceptance. (Alice Oseman does a fantastic job of focusing on non-romantic plots in her other works - read Loveless and I was born for this.) Some of the most important relationships shown in the show are those between Charlie and his established friends, as well as Nick finding comfort in Darcy and Tara. These friendships are shown to be empowering, accepting, and fulfilling. There is no question of whether the queer friends will accept the characters but a sense of joy when the characters are able to be themselves. Once the characters accept who they are they are able to find people around them to support them and who give them nothing but love. Finding these kind of friendships and community can often only come from other queer people due to the shared experience and the safety found in them.

One of the things the mainstream media gets wrong about being queer is how much focus is put on trauma and coming out, often even intertwining those things in some way. This narrative - that being queer means to struggle and endure - keeps many of us in the closet. Though it can be true, it neglects the comfort of community many find along the way.

Queer joy is collective. It is the joy of having community and found familybeing able to say no matter what that ‘I am happy and proud of who I am.’ At the heart of most queer journeys is this found family and the sense of joy that comes from knowing there are others who love them for their true selves. Finding that sense of community is for many a revolutionary act. Platonic love and the camaraderie of being queer is so important outside of romance. Showing that it is not just the romantic relationships that matter, or are of value, but that love can be found in many forms.

Heartstopper is not the first project to show this mix of young queer joy and happiness - and certainly will not be the last. But while it is having its moment in the spotlight it made me think about what relationships we value in our lives and in the media we consume. While Netflix, and the way our media market is set up has its own set of problems, the fact that these kinds of stories are able to be told and reach all sorts of people does matter. It shows so many young people the kind of love that is possible in all of its permutations. While it is good to have challenging media that makes people consider the world around them, not everything needs to tackle these issues in such a direct manner. Sometimes it is just okay to show two boys, the loving friendships that surround them, and emphasize the happiness that they feel.

Everyone says that some of your friendships from high school won’t last. But when you’re 18 and just emerging into adulthood together it’s hard to imagine what friends might not be part of your core group in the future. The first part of uni is a transition period for everyone and you’ll grow into someone that your high school self might not even recognise. With all this personal growth and self-development, you might find that some friends drop away from your life. But the line between a friendship that isn’t particularly relevant to your life anymore, to a toxic friendship, can be tricky to see. It’s often hard to realise that a friendship was toxic until after it ended.

I think we’ve all done it. You feel like you’re the one putting effort in with a friendship. So, you decide to stop trying to organise meet ups with your friend. You wait for them to reach out. Then, poof! It’s been a year and all you’ve exchanged is a ‘Happy Birthday’. Welp, guess they weren’t that great of a friend. But why is it so difficult to realise that they weren’t a great friend when you were speaking? Friendships becoming toxic isn’t about an individual being a bad person. Often times it’s just two people who don’t mesh the way that friends should.

Lily Mirfin (she/her)

Honestly, I’m still searching for that answer but there’s a few signs that the friendship might not be worth it anymore. The older I’ve gotten, the quicker I can pick up on these signs:

1. You’re always drained after interacting with them.

2. You question your own behaviours and relationships with others because of things they say.

3. Your life is irrelevant in relation to theirs. In other words, there’s always drama in their lives and anything happening in yours doesn’t seem to matter much to them.

4. The only reason they reach out to you is when they need something from you. There’s a major lack of “how are you doing” messages.

Basically, if you’re there for them when they need to someone to vent to but you get no support in return, that’s a major red flag. This isn’t a one strike and you’re out sort of situation typically. Often, it’s repeated behaviour over a long period of time that makes you realise that a friendship isn’t all that great.

2. Try not to have any animosity.

Being angry towards someone just uses unnecessary energy. Leave them in your past, don’t let them occupy your present. Remember when things might have been happy and easy, don’t focus on the breakdown of the friendship.

3. If needed, unfollow them on social media. Sometimes, seeing their highlight reel isn’t what you need.

4. Don’t gossip about the other person.

No one enjoys it when they’re being gossiped about so try your best not to involve others. Don’t make things awkward for mutual friends.

Having friends that make you feel happy, supported and free to be yourself is the absolute best. It’s what we all deserve. Don’t settle for friends that make you feel less than, or friends that don’t care about you. People come and go in our lives and the truly important ones stick around.

If you have a toxic ex then you can almost guarantee their friends won’t be your friends anymore. But when a friendship is breaking down and there are mutual friends involved, well, things can get messy fast. Here are a few hot tips to avoid any major drama that drags others in:

1.Don’t say anything over messenger if you can avoid it. Hiding behind a screen makes it easy to say things you might regret. You can’t see how the other person is reacting so it’s easy to make them feel worse than you mean to. Give them a phone call or meet up to talk about how they’re making you feel.

People are in your life for a reason or a season. If it’s a season let them pass and meet someone new.

Tūtānekai lived on Mokoia Island in the middle of the lake and fell in love with Hinemoa during great meetings of the tribes. They met for many years until they discovered their mutual love for one another, although it was discouraged by their iwi. Tūtānekai played his flute each night for Hinemoa in the hopes that she would hear it and come back to him. One night she decided to swim across the lake, by eqipping six hollowed gourds as a bouy - inventive and swoonworthy. Tūtānekai asked his servant to get him some water, and as the servant approached where Hinemoa was hiding, she digusied her voice to sound like a man and broke the gourd the water was served in. This continued time and time again until Tūtānekai was fed up and went to fight this ‘man’ with his taiaha, only to find Hinemoa. Although this deviant act of love is striking, other interpretations of this story claim that Tūtānekai had a friend called Tiki, and before meeting Hinemoa they were takatāpui hoa, or intimate companions of the same sex. When Tūtānekai married Hinemoa, he was said to have told his adoptive father that he felt sad for his friend, as they had once loved one another (“ka piri ō rāua wairua ko tōna hoa takatāpui ko Tiki, ānō he teina he tuakana rāua” – their spirits held one another, like two brothers).

Another famous pūrākau comes from Ngāti Kahukōkā hapū in Ngāti Te Ata iwi. Ponga, a chief of the hapū in the 17th century travelled to Mt Eden to meet whānau, but in the welcoming dances he greets Puhihuia. She and Ponga fall desperately in love and decide to escape by canoe together. Puhihuia’s whānau send an all female war party to retrieve her, but to show her love of this man to her own people, she defeats each woman in one on one comat - go off queen. Peace is made between the two hapū through this act.

I’m sure that translations don’t quite do the pūrākau justice, but these stories are rich in lessons, such as independence in relationships, the disapproval of whānau, and the power of mana wāhine. There are many other relationships that have sculpted Māori history and whakapapa, and also show us how normal queer identities were in a pre-colonial era – definitely not something I could’ve learnt from Cinderella. They also illustrate how complex ‘identity’ is in different cultures, as in te ao Māori, Māori belong not only to themselves, but to their tūpuna, hāpu, and whānau. Realtionships with others as well as the world are crucial. There are many ways we receive relationship advice. Plenty of examples of how to “go about’’ a relationship exist in movies, TV shows, fanfiction, books, porn, and through friend and family connections.

So how do we pick apart the good from the bad? How do we know what advice to take and from whom? Should I continue to play hard to get and *manifest* my perfect lover under the full moon with a strand of their hair in the middle of a ring of scented candles? I think that after realising that much of the ‘advice’ I’d received in my younger years came from Disney princesses and warped reality dating shows (shoutout to all the other 2001 babies), I have had a lot of internalised messages to throw in the rubbish. Relying so heavily on a Westernised depiction of love has probably swayed my view of relationships and their meaning.

I’m here to make the plea for diversification of the relationships (whether platonic, family-oriented, or romantic) we see in popular media. Representation can be powerful, but appropriate funding, casting, and partnerships with communities could also allow more people to tell their own stories. New initiatives to represent others and their experiences should always be welcomed and prioritised in streaming, news or social media platforms. For example, Re: is currently looking for applicants to apply for their new docuseries, Dating While Asian. Gorgeous, gorgeous girls understand cultural relativism and how it can enhance their own perspectives without it leading to appropriation.

This goes for our tāngata whenua too. As Māori history begins to be told in schools across Aotearoa, we should also be learning about other facets of culture, so that we may reveal indigenous people’s ever-changing present and future realities, as well as their history. I want more Māori love stories to be told in films, children and teen books, as well as in schools.

To strengthen my argument, I had a look at a few wellknown pūrākau from different iwi to illustrate how loving relationships were thought of in pre-colonial Aotearoa. Carl Jung once wrote that “all humans have a two-million-year-old person inside and if we lose contact with that part of us, we lose our real roots”. I believe that pūrākau can allow people to ‘walk backward into the future’ and allow our contemporary society to connect with those that came before us.

A very famous love story from Te Arawa people (Rotorua) is between Hinemoa and Tūtānekai. Hinemoa (Tūhourangi) was the daughter of a great chief, and lived near the shores of Lake Taupō, while Tūtānekai (Ngāti Whakaue) came from an ‘illegitimate’ birth.

PSYCHED

ChANgiNg thE NArrAtivE oF A ‘dUSty root’

Ella Gibson (she/her)

Sex. A lot of us have it. That’s great and it’s also a very normal thing. It is also great if you don’t have it, you’ve gotta do what feels great and normal for you. However, there is a culture surrounding sexual activity that needs to be brought to the conversational surface. This train of thought was brought about via a chat with one of my good mates. Both of us are currently single and living life, not because of any particular reason from the sexual and dating realm, but rather of having the time and opportunity to focus on ourselves.

The conversation arose where we were talking about the infamous hookup culture. This culture is one that is traditionally frowned upon by older generations, especially if you identify as a female. These generations operate on concepts within the Westernised realms of traditionalism, colonialism, and sexism, to name a few of the beloved isms. In this world, you would follow the traditional path of going to university, meeting someone, getting that great job, get married, have those kiddies, and then settle down and retire. Hunky-dory, right? But that very linear life path does not necessarily leave a lot of room for the hookup culture that very much exists. Luckily, we are living in a society that is becoming increasingly open and more accepting of anything that does not conform within those regimented guidelines - as it should be, might I add. The conversation that my mate and I had led to him saying something that really stuck with me about hookup culture. He said, “sometimes, you just have to change the narrative of a hookup.” Let me tell you why that is so important and how it has actually changed my perspective about having casual sex.

How does it feel when you say “a dusty root?” Honestly, calling a sexual intercourse excursion “a dusty root” kind of makes my stomach churn and facilitates my urge of wanting to literally vomit.

This colloquialism carries such a negative connotation with it. And here’s the thing, it does not have to be that way. But for some reason, it has been and it is?

The act of having sex itself is anything but a disgusting and repulsive behaviour. May I acknowledge and clarify here though that sometimes how sex occurs can be unpalatable if things such as consent, sobriety, and lack of conversation are not taken into consideration. But nevertheless, what I want to spell out here is that there is no need whatsoever to refer to casual sex as a precarious pursuit. If you want to look at it that way, by all means, go hard! But I think that this culture and mindset surrounding it is doing more harm than good.

I have unofficially collated some tips and tricks from my peers to ensure that if you’re going to engage in the casual sex scene, you have a more than pleasant experience. First, make sure that both parties are going to enjoy themselves. Honey, we’ve got no time for no give and take, it has got to be mutual. It should always be a mutually beneficial exchange. Second, communication is key! Knowing your partner’s name is a good start, but you could also discuss beforehand what you like and what is a no-go zone. Last but not least, protection! The Plan B rush in the morn sometimes is not ideal so make sure that some form of contraception is being used. But most of all, enjoy yourself! Sex should be fun, so follow these top tier guidelines to guarantee yourself a top-notch time. Let’s defeat this negative narrative once and for all and say goodbye to the dusty root.

DIP LUCKY DIP LUCKY

CANTA s longest running segment! Each issue we set two people up on a blind date and they record their experiences.

Here are the unedited results.

I was easily convinced to apply for the blind date when all but 1 of the flatmates were cuddled up with their partners on the couch watching a movie. Two weeks later… and here we are. Getting dressed up, blazer on, a couple whiskeys, a positive mindset that I’m not going to be watching a movie alone tonight, and we were off.

I arrived just after 5 assuming that they’d be fashionably late. And sure enough, just as I sat down, someone started walking up the stairs. My heart dropped; she was not my type. But not to worry, she walked straight past me and sat with a group of girls in the corner. Now the nerves are really kicking in, especially since it was about now, I recalled telling Canta that they could stitch me up if it’s for the good of the magazine.

Anyway, these thoughts were soon gone when I saw the most stunning girl with the most amazing hair walk in. It looked like she had put hours into her appearance. She sat opposite me and our conversation immediately kicked off as if we had known each other for years. We talked about everything and anything, ranging from what degrees we’re studying, where our families are at, plans over the next few years, and even politics in Africa.

dippEr oNE dippEr two

Ever been too busy to arrange a date? Buckle up buddy and get yourself an awesome flatmate to apply for the lucky dip on your behalf and let Canta do the hard yards of finding you a blind date. After reading exactly 51 lucky dips since starting Uni, it was finally my time to shine and tick it off my bucket list. That combined with the exhaustion of being a bridesmaid at one too many weddings and a victim of too many unfruitful bumble and tinder dates. Could this be my ‘knight in shining armour’ moment? Well, let’s find out….

I chucked my lucky pants on and yes, these pants always bring the boys to the yard. I can confidently say, I have scored almost every time I have worn them on a night out. I rocked up at Rollickin’ and one of the girls who worked there ushered me upstairs to where my date was. She asked if I was nervous, to which I gave a confident ‘no’. She then pointed to where my date was sitting, lo and behold, it was a person that I already knew and kind of working with, in some respect.

I had it all planned out in my head you know. I was going to go on a date, meet a guy I have never met before, get to know him and it was going to go either two ways. He would be a complete dud and I get to roast him OR he would be an absolute legend, and he gets to be my knight shining armour for the night or the next wee while (you know what I mean). The change of scenario threw me off my game. I felt this undeniable wave of disappointment and awkwardness which was hard to mask even if I’d tried.

When it came time to order, it was like our mouths were both wanting the same thing… a good custard scroll with a scoop of ice cream on top. I must say I was very impressed when she finished the whole thing as I had struggled through the last few mouthfuls. Both being students we decided that we couldn’t let the Rollickin’ tab go unfinished, so a brownie to share it was.

Now comes the decision-making part of the night, what to do next?? Sorry readers but this is where the night ended, as good friends. Canta I’ll give it to you, you did well, knowingly stitching me up with a great friend and work colleague of mine. But anyway, thanks for allowing us to have a great catch up and a bloody good dessert

Till next time…

Avid Canta Reader

I walked towards him, hugged him, and there was a scream in my head “Really Canta! This is not how it was supposed to go.” I felt set up and all I wanted was a big shot of tequila at that point. Mind you, I have always thought of my date as an absolute legend. A good-looking, charismatic, composed, great conversationalist, and a smart guy which I have always appreciated and still do. The only thing is I never had the hots for him, and I was not planning to start now. I am pretty sure that neither was he.

I calmed down after a while and decided to go with the flow. We chatted about a bunch of stuff including family, Uni, flatting, gym, music, and all that jazz. For someone so hungry, I could not even finish my cinnamon bun and it was left floating in there with the ice cream that I could not get down my throat. Being in a date setting with him felt so wrong on many levels for me and I could not shake the awkwardness off me. I felt like I was stuck in freeze mode for most of the date and he honestly carried the conversation (I hope his shoulders and back were not too heavy after that). The date ended after an hour or so and we said our goodbyes and see you tomorrow. Yes, I am seeing him the day after the date. I would like to say plot twist, second date but for a work-related event.

Overall, the lucky dip was not so lucky for me. A few hours later, I was at Uni writing this piece and finishing my assignment.

HOROSCOPES.

proS ANd CoNS oF dAtiNg EACh SigN / SigN StErEotypES

Pros: Energetic, trendsetter, fearless

Cons: Obnoxious, stubborn, impulsive

ARIES TAURUS

Pros: Original, resourceful, adventurous

Cons: Compulsive liar, inconsistent

Pros: Reliable, patient, stable

Cons: Lazy, overindulgent, won’t change.

Pros: Intuitive, imaginative, loyal

Cons: Unpredictable, insecure, cranky

Pros: Welcoming, fierce, driven

Cons: Self-centred, arrogant, petty

Pros: Analytical, graceful, kind

Cons: Misunderstood, lacks self-worth

Pros: Sincere, lovable, balanced

Cons: Vain, melodramatic, delusional

Pros: Assertive, passionate, brave

Cons: Sex fiend, secretive, jealous

Pros: Adventurous, generous, hilarious

Cons: Noncommittal, too

honest

Pros: Eccentric, progressive, philosophical

Cons: Detached, distrusting, cornered

Pros: Family-minded, devoted, responsible

Cons: Boring, inflexible, grudge-holder

Pros: Compassionate, artistic, musical

Cons: Gullible, potential remains untapped

CAPRI-

SAGITTARIUS CORN

6.9kms away

I have one steak everyday. I will motivate you to become better if you have the desire.

Favourite song - Let Me Hold You (Netsky)

Thanks in advance for swiping right.