Cannonball #9 by Cannonball

Once upon a time a young Ignatius girl called Yen Pham dreamed a dream: a student magazine of the students, by the students, for the students. She was successful in realising this dream, and now, three years later, the baton has been passed on from the almighty Katherine ‘KT’ Turnbull to three young editors, joining together from the three corners of the Year 12 corridor. From the South came Lauren, one of the few people to complete Year 12 in Year 11, from the East came Max, but not the school captain or “Maxfax”, and from Doge’s palace itself came Gianni ‘Sweet Dude’ Mags (so troll). Together, they formed the editorial team for Cannonball 2014, and after many emails, Facebook messages, meetings, messages to KT, and a whole heap of procrastination, they bring you … Cannonball #9!! Welcome to Cannonball 2014! Despite the fact that Mad March has once again almost reached its conclusion, this magazine has been compiled to celebrate the fun and frivolity that comes with festival season for your entertainment and educational purposes (ok, maybe not so quite educational). Whether you’re interested in some handy hints from Mystical Mackenzie, a serious look at the state election from resident politics enthusiast John Swan, or just an all-out go at society from The Guy That Hates Everyone, we hope that in your reading of this issue you maybe gain a few brain cells (or perhaps lose if you’re checking out “Doge - The Legacy”) and find something interesting. Thanks a lot to all the Year 12 students who contributed, we greatly appreciate you guys taking time out of your insane study timetable (lel) to write for us. And for all those Year 10s and 11s out there: this is not just a Seniors magazine, we’d love your input to (for those of you younger than Year 10, either check out Slingshot, or wait a couple of years). Much love, From the Cannonball Team 2014 – Gianni Magliani, Max Wurm and Lauren Skinner

Our many thanks go to: Ms Fleming and the ladies in the book room for their assistance with printing and also for letting us know that we don’t actually have to make it into a booklet ourselves (thank God). Mr Coffey and Mr Passaniti for their continued support of Cannonball. Mr Haskell for getting us organised and helping us out. Everyone who wrote articles! Yay – sorry for pestering you so much to get them done… Jean-Marie Nguyen for her awesome cover designs and Ella Michele for her sweet doodles. Katherine Turnbull for firstly putting together the editor’s guide and secondly for answering our questions even when she was frantically trying to finish a uni assignment. And lastly to Mr Dodson for not caring when we spent all of physics making the approval matrix and organising meetings.

Issue 9 Editorial

Feature Article – Does Adelaide come alive for Mad March?

SIC – Where Are They Now?

Doge – The Legacy

The Natural Ecology of the Clipsal 500

Just Another Immersion Reflection

International Women’s Day

Mystical Mackenzie

Election Madness

Performing arts in 2014

Approval Matrix

86th Oscars Best Film Nominees

Kirch’s Sports

Indie Music 101

Dion’s Royal Rumble

Festival Food Frenzy

The Best Joke in the World

Does Adelaide only come alive for Mad March??? - Lauren Skinner In short, yes, yes it does. It doesn’t take a whole heap of research to realise that Adelaide pretty well equals our nation’s capital in terms of exciting-ness for eleven months of the year, before cramming all of it’s fun and frivolity into four short weeks at the end of Summer, with Womad for the hippies, Clipsal for the revheads, the Fringe for all the cool kids, and the Adelaide Festival for those slightly more sophisticated members of society. Just hit up our festival calendar at festivalsadelaide.com.au and you can see that March is bursting at the seams with festivities, while the subsequent months of the year are more crickets and tumbleweed… that is, until the South Australia Living Arts festival rolls around in August – woo, party time…

rather ‘should Adelaide only come alive for Mad March?’ Personally, I see no problem with the ridiculous cramming of festivals into one month, as per my McDonalds theory. This may sound ridiculous, but the McDonalds theory pretty much goes like this: When I was younger, the excitement of Maccas (and pretty much all junk food) lay in the knowledge that it was a treat, something we only got on special occasions. Because it was at most times so inaccessible, it became all the more enticing and enjoyable when I did get it. So, how does this relate to Adelaide’s festival patterns (trust me it actually does)? Basically, if we were to spread out all these festivals, they might lose some of their excitement. I love going out in the city during March – the weather is good, everyone is out and about, and there is always something new to see or do. Maybe it’s just me, but

So, with this in mind, the question that remains is not exactly ‘does Adelaide only come alive for Mad March’, but

there’s such a great atmosphere, because everything is happening all at once. If everything was all spread out, it would be like getting Maccas every week, and the excitement of it all would be greatly diminished. The only downside of this, however, is that for the rest of the year we must rely on actually having people to organise socially fun things for us to do, rather than just walking down the street and finding a festival to go to (ok, maybe this isn’t quite realistic).

their inner child with the Come Out festival in May, and then whipping out their dance shoes in June for the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. It is possible that the rest of the year seems dead to us, because these kinds of festivals aren’t exactly the cup of tea of most high school students - and also don’t involve the kind of infrastructure that events such as the Clipsal involves, causing every driver in Adelaide update their Facebook status to something complaining about road closures or traffic - but there is still some stuff going on, so give our state at least a bit of credit. So, while it may seem that South Australia is stupid, cramming all the good bits into one month, just remember the McDonalds theory – all of the added excitement because that’s pretty much all there is until next March – and be reassured that Adelaide is not completely dead for the remainder of the year. Also be sure to make the most of the awesome festivals and fun things our city puts on for us; there is some pretty cool stuff out there at the moment, and we may as well enjoy them while we can.

One point I must make on this topic is for those of you that complain that there is nothing to do and Adelaide is the most boring place ever; trust me, you have never lived in Tasmania – be grateful you get at least one month of festivities. Also, despite my earlier statements (they may have been a little extreme), there is still plenty of stuff going on in and around Adelaide once Mad March comes to its conclusion. While these events may not quite equal the excitement of the March festivals, everyone who completed Year 8 French knows that they can get their festival fix with the Alliance Français Film Festival rolling on into April, before embracing

Year 12s. They always look so huge until you are one. They always come and go with their navy blue, logoed jumpers. But what actually happens to them after they pass through those big green gates, the convention centre and their Middleton schoolies houses? How do they cope in the REAL world without Mrs Kingsborough confiscating anything troublesome in their way? What do they EVEN DO? I have been tormented with these questions for some time now; thus, I organised an exclusive interview with the past 3 Cannonball editors: Matthew Traeger, Letti Sweet and Katherine Turnbull (and Mark Pace, just for lols). Here are some detailed insights into the issue:

1. What are you currently studying/What are you doing with your life? 2. What is the best part about living an independent, oldIgnatian life? 3. What do you miss most about Ignatius? 4. What teacher do you miss most at Ignatius? 5. If you could go back and redo one of your years at Iggies, which one would it be? And why? 6. If you could give us one piece of advice as we live our Ignatian lives, what would it be?

MATT TRAEGAR 1. I am currently in my third year of The Standard Old Ignatian Degree, i.e. a Bachelor of Law/Arts at the University of Adelaide. The law side of things is tolerable, but its the arts that keeps me sane (where else can one be assessed on 1920s Russian art / 1960s musical subcultures / Ancient Roman love poetry!). Aside from uni, I spend most of my time as State Director of UN Youth, Australia's largest youth-led, notfor-profit organisation. We run a whole heap of events around Adelaide and regional SA aimed at educating and engaging high school students in the world of international affairs, human rights and advocacy. 2. It's been great having the time and freedom to travel. I've just returned from two months backpacking around Eastern Europe: it's an experience. 3. The music department! So many good times and friendly faces. Cabaret was always a hoot, and music camp was always ridiculous (in the best of ways). 4. I am so grateful to have been taught by my Latin teacher. whose ability to instil in his students a love of learning is unsurpassed. And I miss the hilarious conversations. 5. I would redo Year 8, for sure. I was far too nervous and weedy and I spent far too long studying for the Geography exam. It took me a while to settle in: perhaps I was too traumatised by Year 8 Camp. 6. Learn Latin! Sona si Latine loqueris!

LETTI SWEET 1. I am in my first year of a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery at the University of Adelaide, after taking a gap year last year to try and get into the course by re-sitting the UMAT and doing a couple of Year 12 subjects at Marden Senior College (….best gap year ever?) 2. It’s been great being able to go out into the community and meet a hugely varied range of people whilst still holding on to the majority of friendships I made at Ignatius, which seems to be something that is fairly rare with school-leavers. 3. Co-curricular, in particularly the Drama Department – it is about ten thousand times more difficult to get involved with Musicals/Drama outside of school (if not due to the business of life which tends to take over!) so I definitely encourage anyone thinking of being involved! 4. It’s impossible to pick just one! When you matriculate you tend to form quite strong bonds with your subject teachers (it’s almost impossible to not when you’ve had a breakdown to each one at least 3 times in the year) so I often find myself thinking of them. 5. Definitely Year 12! It was one of the most heinously stressful but incredibly fun years of my life and went way too fast! 6. Make as many friends as you can – having a wide friendship group is awesome, particularly between year levels – you never know, you may end up at Uni with someone older or younger than you and if you’re already friends it can be really comforting – this is best done through co-curricular so get involved as much as you can!

KATHERINE ‘KT’ TURNBULL 1. I'm in Sydney studying a Liberal Arts degree, which essentially means I'm doing very little with my life other than reading and consciously not thinking about what I'll do after three years’ time when I am potentially even less employable than before (haha) (is it actually funny though) (not sure) 2. Probably the last four months I have literally spent watching House of Cards, eating hummus and sleeping. Actually now that I think about it that's kind of depressing and now I've forgotten how to write essays. Or how to write in general. This questionnaire is hard. 3. Definitely that weird CA 208 smell. Or maybe that was just me. I don't know. 4. I miss them all heaps obviously because teachers are COOL. 5. I'm tempted to say pretty much all of year 7-10 because I've mentally blocked most of those dark, dark times - but then again, who wouldn't want to go back to year 6 continuous cricket with Mr. Gardner? (actually, I wouldn't, because I can't catch) 6. Ugh everyone always says to take advantage of all your opportunities, stop and smell the roses, etc, etc so maybe I'll just say to write for Cannonball (you guys can pay me for that later) and don't complain about having to go to assemblies because adult life is actually 1000x more boring and your uni seminars make Rector's Assembly feel like a fun party or something else super not boring. And love your teachers 7 actually want to help you do stuff unlike literally because they are cool (have I said that yet?) and everyone at university. Wow people should ask me for advice more often, this is the most fun I've had all week.

MARK PACE 1. This year I'm studying Petroleum engineering at Adelaide. Other than that, pretty much nothing, getting my hours up on my L's, just about to hit the big '10 hour' milestone. 2. Being slightly more independent than Year 12 has its perks. I was lucky enough to travel for a few months around Europe these summer holidays, that was pretty rad. Hostels can be the filthiest things ever, but at the same time with friends can be home to some great memories. 3. So many things. I guess, mainly, I miss being able to walk down the Year 12 corridor and seeing 170 of the greatest human beings. 4. That's a tough one, I'd have to say Mr Dales, Year 12 Economics was lots of fun, I'd definitely recommend it to anyone. 5. Year 12 - No question about it, it might not hit you until it's all over, but it's certainly the best year. 6. If you could give us one piece of advice as we live our Ignatian lives, what would it be? Get involved - There's so many opportunities Ignatius has to offer, don't risk graduating and looking back thinking 'I could have done more', just do it. Also, writing articles for the Cannonball was lots of fun. If you're reading this now, you should spark a conversation with the editor in the corridors and see how you can get involved.

Doge - The legacy - Gianni Magliani

Doge is by far the most popular meme on the Internet these days, although some don’t understand the power of Doge and its intellectual properties. His smile is trusting, his ‘wowes’ are rewarding, and the love he provides for us is such appreciated. At the hardest of times in my life, I’ve looked to the skies, climbed the tallest mountains and sailed the seven seas in search for answers. But it was Bob Marley who led me to the magical fountain of youth, where we bathed and became young again. It was there that Bob introduced me to his mates, Tupac Shakur, Biggie Smalls and of course, Kanye ‘Yeezus’ West. But the most prominent of his friends was Doge. Doge was an interesting man with a great vocabulary, he spoke words known only to scholars of the highest orders. He uttered words of wisdom, words such as “wow” and “such [noun]”. I knew straight away that he was a man to be admired in a scholarly sense. Doge spoke to me of great animals and beasts that this world has boasted, he told me of his many adventures, into outer space, the far depths of the galaxy, and even the centre of the Earth. As Doge and I spoke for hours upon nek minnits, we sat by the fountain and ate the finest whale meat provided by the cannibalistic savages of the island, oh how savage they were. The next morn’, we woke up to discover Bob lost his nunchucks and shuriken stars, Doge and I set out on a wild adventure in search of these missing goods. We brought along our hunting coelacanths, and in the preceding sixty seconds, we found Cthulhu, the mythical beast, playing with Bob’s shurikens. Doge jumped on the coelacanth and charged Cthulhu with his jousting Excalibur, slaying Cthulhu and retrieving Bob’s ninja weaponry. Quel bataille ! Upon returning to the fountain, Bob thanked us and provided us with some breakfast McMuffins, which was really sweet because McDonald’s had finished breakfast by then and the savages were only eating each other. Kanye took all of us for a spin on his sweet motorbike; we journeyed through mountains and over lakes and rivers, “singing songs of freedom” as Bob said, before returning to the fountain from whence we came. Upon leaving the fountain and returning to my humble home, I followed Doge on Facebook and to this day, have liked his photos and statuses in appreciation of his vast intellect. Here is a picture of Doge and I slaying Cthulhu that wicked-sweet day.

The Natural Ecology of the Clipsal 500 - The Guy That Hates Everything Any amateur naturalist will tell you that the changing of the seasons signals dramatic changes in the ecology of natural world, and none more so than that of the transition from summer to autumn. In the northern hemisphere, flocks of migratory birds head south to escape the coming chill of winter; at the poles, impressive herds of whales embark on a journey towards the equator in order to have their calves; and in South Australia, many thousands of Bogans begin an annual exodus from their natural habitat and move inland towards the city, drawn by the natural allure of RAAF stunt planes, women in less than formal attire, and the copious petrol fumes emitted by V8 Supercars. The whole event is enough to bring about radical changes in the behaviour of the Bogans, as these more naturally intolerant creatures come together in vast numbers, seemingly undeterred by the close proximity of people with varying political views, social and ethical backgrounds, interest in Fringe theatre, or knowledge of how to punctuate a written sentence. Nevertheless, should one of these people admit to not supporting Holden or indeed show any lack of support for home industry, then a violent outbreak is sure to arise. Many scientists now believe that perhaps the high concentration of petrol fumes in the immediate vicinity, combined with the availability of cheap ethanol in the form of Jim Beam or Jack Daniels, are the primary factor in bringing about this dramatic behavioural change. If you hadn’t guessed by now, the Clipsal 500 is not an event on the yearly calendar that I deliberately go out of my way to endorse. I personally feel that a much more fitting name would be either the ‘Adelaide Carbon Footprint Festival’ or the ‘Excessive Decibels Festival’, as I believe these much better encapsulate the core values behind the event than the name of their major sponsor. Now, don’t for a second think that my rather condescending outlook means that I hate cars; I am actually quite a car enthusiast and my personal belief is that, in the motoring world, nothing gets much more attractive than an Aston Martin DB5. I am also not totally abhorred to the idea of motor racing as a sport, and I admire both the skill of the drivers and the amount of work that goes into designing and engineering the cars (well, I mean Formula Ones; I really couldn’t care less about V8 Supercars; as far as I’m concerned, they just get an ordinary V8 and whack a spoiler on the back). What I cannot fathom is why the Clipsal needs to be held when and where it is. It is not a true festival, so why is it plonked right in the middle of the festival season, a mere hundred metres from the heart of the Fringe? It offers no cultural benefit in any form (unless you count the guest appearances from overpriced and overrated musicians on the Friday and Saturday) and does not advocate a valuable cause or message of any kind (unless they’re trying to promote an increase of carbon dioxide emissions for some grotesque reason).

With regards to where it is held, I understand the Adelaide circuit is one of the best in the country, but surely it is not totally unique to the point that it cannot be replicated elsewhere? It continues to mystify me that the South Australian Government, after more than a decade of disrupting traffic and spending the better part of nine months to set up and then take down grand stands and pavilions, does not just build a proper race track away from the city centre and closer to the Bogansâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; natural habitat. Better still, why not just legalise drag-racing and they can do it themselves? The only reason to explain why the Clispal has been allowed to continue in the established format is that of a need to appeal to all the cultural minorities that make up the collective the South Australian people. Since we have Schutzenfest for the Germans, OzAsia for the Asians, and WOMAD for the hippies, then it seems only fair that we give the Bogans their own unique â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;festivalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; that embraces their cultural identity. In short, the Clipsal 500 has simply become part of the natural ecology of the festival season, and no matter how many gripes and objections we may have for it, we must acknowledge that the most effective way to deal with it may be to simply sit tight, buy a pair of industrial ear-muffs, and put up with it.

Just another immersion reflection – Max Wurm Over the summer holidays, I was one of 10 to embark on a blah blah blah yeah you’ve heard it all before. After 5 years at Saint Ignatius Senior School, I’ve heard my share of immersion stories and overseas exchange stories and to be quite honest, the 5 minute run down at rectors assembly just doesn’t do it for me (no offense to anyone who has ever done one of these, they’re actually really hard to prepare). There is only so much that you can put in a highly censored and extremely brief story about a three week journey that changed your life, and for this reason I forgive you. If you would like to hear about the many places we visited, the many naan we ate (as well as accompanying puns) and, if Olivia will let me, the ‘Jaipur incident’, then by all means, come and talk to me. But that is not what this article is about. The ‘real deal’ of India and Cambodia and France and China is not always explainable; more-so it is like describing the colour fuchsia, or perhaps explaining to your teacher why you didn’t complete that ‘optional homework’. As to what the ‘real deal’ actually means; firstly, there’s the shock of realising you’re in another country – I’d never been overseas so this was special alright – and the realisation that you are so far away from home. Then there’s the people, whether it be the ‘not so Raj Bajaj’ Raj Bajaj, the kinda weird billet you stayed with, or that random stranger who looked at you funny. Next are the small things that you would normally take for granted, but because you’re in another country they are suddenly the funniest things in the world, for example, Alessandro’s face when you take his laptop away. In fact, Alessandro’s face at any given time. Lastly, the best thing about ALL immersions is the relationships you build with students and teachers alike. This should not be understated, there are certain limits you can reach with people in normal society and in India these limits go out the window, and this was my favourite thing about India, not to mention the in-jokes that you make in Cannonball articles that nobody else gets.

Who inspires you? International Women’s Day 2014 - Emily Peacock Reflecting on International Women’s Day which has recently passed, I decided to stop and think about the women who inspire us. Without lacking appreciation for the wonderful men in the world - [insert the name of whichever male is standing closest to you], I’m looking at you - I believe that there are some pretty great gals out there who deserve a shout out. So, I encourage you to take some time out to consider which fabulous females inspire you; to start you off, here is my list of inspirational women: 1. My Mum: Slightly cliché I know, but my Mum is the person who I look up to and model myself after. And hey, without them there is no us - should probably give our mums some credit for their beautiful creations. 2. Lorna Jane Clarkson: Ok, for those of you who know me, right now you are probably be either rolling your eyes or nodding encouragingly with deep appreciation and acceptance. Entrepreneur and business woman Lorna created the cleverly titled sporting store ‘Lorna Jane’, where I purchase a ridiculous number of crop tops (I think my collection currently stands at nine). Despite making me broke, Lorna empowers females to live the healthiest and happiest life possible and seize the day - carpe diem!

3. Malala Yousafzai: For those of you who don’t know this incredible sixteen year old, you should get around her. An educational activist for women in Pakistan, Malala was shot in the head by the Taliban for her outspoken views. Instead of running away, Malala showed enormous courage and became even more vocal regarding her beliefs. Speaking at the UN call for worldwide access to education and being the youngest person ever to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, I am pretty jelly of this chick’s strength and courage.

4. Miranda Kerr: Not only is Miranda a super beautiful model, she inspires women to be the best versions of themselves. Her two books, Treasure Yourself and Empower Yourself, are awesome and I encourage all girlies to give them a read.

5. Mother Teresa: An incredible teacher and missionary who worked compassionately for the needs of all people. If we follow the love, acceptance and peace of Mother Teresa, the things we can achieve in this world are limitless.

Who inspires you? 13

MYSTICAL MACKENZIE Welcome to Mystical Mackenzie for 2014! For this magical year I will be answering all of your weird and wonderful life predicaments, love conundrums and queries about the inner workings of Saint Ignatius’ College. If you missed out this time, you can submit your questions via ask.fm/MysticalMackenzie for a chance to be published in the next Cannonball! HOROSCOPE OF THE MONTH: ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 19 Happy birthday to all the little rams out there this month! Just like in the Zodiac cycle, you are always the first whether you’re the first to show off your vocal skills at voluntary mass, or first in line for the leftovers at the tuckshop at the strike of 1.45 pm. Now, this eager little character should be more alive than ever this month; with all of the festivities that Adelaide has to offer, make sure you put your horns first in line for all the Fringe shows at the Garden of Unearthly Delights. The fire of an Aries is spontaneous and hot, so keep this spontaneity sizzling this month, and perhaps see a show that you wouldn’t normally see. This month stay clear of Capricorns; they enjoy a set plan and find it difficult to stray away from routine, while you thrive off living in the moment (perhaps best not to take a Capricorn to the Fringe without buying tickets before-hand). Both Aries and Capricorns are also extremely stubborn, which may cause unnecessary tension if you have your heart set on seeing a comedy show but the Capricorn loves cabaret. Your safest bet for a festival buddy is a fellow Aries; you are both ruled by the Planet Mars, the God of War. Together you share the ‘ready, aim, fire!’ mentality - it just depends if you chose to fight together or against each other.

Hey Mystic Mackenzie, No one has asked me to formal yet and I was wondering if you think it would be OK to go by myself... Also, do you have any tips for getting a guy to ask me?? Yours sincerely, Champagne Diamonds. Ahhh, with formal season looming this is the question on a lot of senior students’ minds. With the stress of finding the perfect dress or suit, you then have the added worry of finding your dream date to take a few photos with and sit at a table with. If you couldn’t already tell, I am being sarcastic. Of course it is ok to go by yourself; it only demonstrates that you are a strong independent man/woman. In terms of tips, you need to radiate confidence, and then you’re sure to have potential dates lining up in no time! 14

If this doesn’t grab anyone’s attention, perhaps subtle hints are the way to go. Try discussing every aspect of the formal non-stop until the night; someone is bound to notice that you’re ripe for the picking!

Mystical Mackenzie, How do I ask a girl to formal? Another formal related question! Well, girls love to feel special, so no gesture is too grand! Perhaps a dozen roses crammed into her locker or a barber shop quartet following her around all day (this may cause a disruption issue) will land your date successfully. Personally, I would write a message in the daily notices; not only will it get her attention, but the attention of the entire school! She’s sure to be impressed, and if not, you have just been rejected in front of the entire Saint Ignatius cohort….Good luck!

Hi Mystic! I’ve recently found myself in the middle of a love triangle, what do I do? Sincerely, Popular Girl Love triangles are always tricky, my advice to you is compare astrological signs of both contenders, as they are always one hundred percent accurate. You can ultimately tell if a relationship is going to last purely based on your sign. An earth and a wind sign? Forget about it! Two water signs? You’ve got a winner! A fire and a water sign? …Don’t even get me started, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

How do you feel about Tony Abbott running the country? The mystic does not believe in one man running the country, the alignment of the planets decides the course of our lives.

Two coins add up to 30 cents and one of them is not a nickel, what are they? The mystic also does not believe in the exchange of currency.

Election Madness – John Swan What are you doing on the 15th of March? Yes, it is that festival that comes around every four years when everyone over 18 in our state turns out to their local hall, school or community centre to decide who they want to represent them for the next 4 years. ‘Why should I care?’- you are probably asking right now, especially since most Ignatius students – myself included - are too young to vote. The fact is that this election, and indeed every election, has profound impacts on your life and those who you care about. The policies that both the major and minor parties are running on, such as economic, educational, health and transport policies, all affect young people. By becoming politically engaged young people, we can shape discussion, policies and even the result of the election, just by considering the issues and expressing our views. A major issue of the South Australian 2014 Election, the economy, directly affects your current casual employment status and future long term career opportunities. The tense ABC Leaders Debate showed conflict between Liberal Leader Steven Marshall and Labor Leader Jay Weatherill over who had the best plans (or maybe just rhetoric) to stimulate the economy and create jobs. Adelaide is currently one of the most difficult places for young people to find casual work. Many of you who live in the north of Adelaide would be experiencing youth unemployment of 19.7% (ABS, 2014), one of the highest in the nation. Without a strong government, good career opportunities for you are bleak. Would you be forced to move interstate or overseas to secure employment after school? Weatherill says that he will create these jobs, with increased government spending on

industry and tertiary education, whilst standing up to cuts from Canberra. In contrast, Marshall wants to decrease industry assistance and instead offer tax relief for businesses to invest. With government coffers in the red, who do you think can lead our state back to prosperity? Education, health, transport and the environment are also contentious policy areas which affect young people, and those marginalised in our society. My Caroline Chisolm experience at a special school in a low socio-economic area demonstrated to me just how underfunded some of our schools are. Will our next government improve our schools and pressure the federal government for more funding? If you have ever broken a bone, you will no doubt remember the pain of hospital waiting times, another key political battleground. Will the new Royal Adelaide Hospital really deliver? Transport is also a key policy area that affects young people. Will the proposed $61 million O-Bahn upgrade to reduce bus travel times, such as our 928 School Bus, be worth the investment? Do you support the proposed P plate licence restrictions? These are just a sample of state issues which matter to us and those we care about. If you are passionate about any of these issues, express your opinion and engage in debate, even if you cannot vote yet. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just support what your family, friends, postcode or even teachers tell you to. Read the papers (preferably not those written by Murdoch), watch the news, tune in to 891 ABC Adelaide (looking at you Shaun Prentice) and browse online articles on websites like Crikey. Understand the candidates running for both the House of Assembly and the Legislative Council. If you can vote, vote below the line on the senate white paper to ensure that your preferences flow on to exactly who you intend them to. Have compassion for marginalised groups who are suffering in our state. Get angry. Ring up talkback radio stations (if you are feeling cheeky, 5aa), go to your local street corner meetings, write letters to the editors, talk to candidates and choose a poster of your favourite candidate to put on your front fence as I have done. Take a stand for what you believe in. We are fortunate that we do not have to risk our lives to exercise our democratic rights like in so many other societies - so embrace it.

NB* this article was written pre-election and since then â&#x20AC;Ś well letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just say things are getting interesting!

Performing Arts 2014 - Felicia Charman Only six weeks into our first term of 2014 and there are already plenty of exciting projects underway in the Saint Ignatius music and drama departments. This is sure to be a full-on year and fortunately packed with what seems like never ending events for the drama and music students! Within the Drama department, Mrs Sheldon’s Year 12 class has recently begun their production of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and are readily anticipating their performance in Term 2, Week 7. If you’re keen to see Nick Munday schmoozing Alyna Fisher, the loving and ever so happy marriage between myself and the famous ‘Max Fax’, or the disappointment as we say goodbye to the idea of Josh Duncliffe as yet another Scottish character, then keep an eager eye out for information about the upcoming performances. Mrs Mildenhall’s Year 12 class are currently working vigorously on their own Alfred Hitchcock inspired group productions, preparing original short films in the style of this famous director. They are eagerly waiting to confirm their chosen production for Term 3, Week 2 – details will be found in the next issue! At the beginning of the term, it was announced that the school musical for this year would be the much loved fairy-tale, ‘Beauty and the Beast’. A large number of students ranging from Year 7-11 have participated in auditions over the past two weeks, and a huge congratulations must go out to each and every student who went through this process certainly be a nerve-wracking experience. The cast list was posted recently and congratulations must go to our two leads, George Angley and Giulia-Giorgina Conduluci, as well as the rest of the remarkable cast and crew. No matter how devastated we may be to never have the chance to perform in our own theatre, those of us in our final year of schooling wish you the best of luck with your performance! We will brush away our tears before watching what is sure to be an amazing show in August this year in our new Performing Arts Centre (fingers crossed). The music department is rehearsing like crazy in preparation for the upcoming ‘Generations in Jazz’ festival, which they are really looking forward to after a heartbreaking decision to miss it last year due to the Senior Formal. They are more than keen to return this year and claim their rightful spot in first place, and we all wish them the best of luck! At the beginning of Week 11 this term the music department will be heading to Nunyara for its annual music camp. The Year 12 cohort are preparing for yet another win in the Annual Pizza Challenge in order to make this a three year winning streak for the senior class. Another event which you should all be anxiously preparing for is the annual Battle of the Bands Competition. Sure to bring endless entertainment for all, now is the time to start brushing up on those singing skills and polishing up on your instrumental expertise. That’s it for the first ‘Performing Arts’ section of the Cannonball for 2014! Our next issue will contain exciting news about what is still to come this year for the Performing Arts, including a special ‘Roaring Twenties’ themed Cabaret, House Performances later on this year, and much, much more. Keep those creative juices flowing and prepare yourself for the many thrilling events yet to come!

The Approval Matrix

Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies*.

21 *Concept originates from New York magazine (nymag.com). If you have trouble reading the approval matrix, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry, I still donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exactly understand how it works.

Film Reviews: 86th Oscars Best Picture Nominees – Sheeny Soulsby 12 Years a Slave Based on Solomon Northup’s memoir of the same name and starring pretty much everyone, this film won the Oscar for Best Picture this year. At times, the film is very difficult to watch but it deals with the somewhat uncomfortable subject matter well. Chiwetel Ejiofor is excellent as Solomon Northup and Lupita Noonecanpronouncemyname’o deservedly earned the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her performance. The cinematography is discerningly beautiful and the score works brilliantly. Make sure to leave at least 2 hours after the film to cry about the fact that slavery actually happened. Dallas Buyers Club Dallas Buyers Club stars Matthew McConaughey (continuing the ‘McConnaisance’) and Jared Leto (almost unrecognisable as transgender Rayon), winning the Oscars for Best Actor in a Leading Role and Best Actor in a Supporting Role respectively. The film tells the story of a homophobic cowboy, Ron Woodroof, who is diagnosed with AIDS and given 30 days to live. Despite the heavy subject matter, the film has many laughs and is uplifting. I highly recommend it. Gravity Starring pretty much just Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, Gravity follows their journey stranded in space. Bullock in particular is fantastic as she is the only character for the majority of the film. The story, while very simple, is compelling and surprisingly edge-of-your-seat thrilling. The cinematography and effects are absolutely fantastic, and this is possibly the only film ever that should actually be seen in 3D. The Wolf of Wall Street Overall, this was an enjoyable film, loosely based on the true story of American stockbroker Jordan Belfort. The film has several memorable scenes and is good fun; however, there is far too much gratuitous nudity and sex. Martin Scorcese, it would appear, felt otherwise, providing such a scene every five minutes or so. The thing is the film didn’t need these scenes - it was good enough anyway. And, on top of that, Scorcese struggled to cut the length (the film is 3 hours long, and feels it),

but several of these scenes could have been cut. Despite all this, I did enjoy the film and I would recommend it with a warning of its slightly pornographic nature. (18+) American Hustle* J-Law and Bradley Cooper team up again for this film, along with Cristian Bale and Amy Adams. The film tells the inspirational story of a young footballer (Cooper) who dared to dream big. His parents won’t support his dream, but he finds inspiration in a teacher (J-Law). Despite some age inappropriate casting, this is an incredibly heart-warming film and I would highly recommend it. Captain Phillips* Blacksmith Will Turner teams up with eccentric pirate, Captain Phillips, to save the love of his life, Keira Knightley, from Jack’s former pirate allies, who sail the seven seas with ‘The Black Pearl’. Tom Hanks is hilarious as Captain Phillips, appearing to channel Johnny Depp for his excellent performance. Her* After living in Africa, Cady Heron (voiced by Scarlett Johanssen) begins as a junior at an American high school. Cady is just trying to fit in, but ends up on a mission to destroy the Queen Bee, Regina George, after she falls in love with Regina’s ex-boyfriend Joaquin ‘funky moustache’ Phoenix. Her is a fantastic comedy, don’t miss it. Nebraska* I’m told the less you know about this film, the better. This, incidentally, is quite lucky since I don’t know anything about it at all. Philomena* This is the uplifting tale of a mysterious pastry chef, known only as Mena. It details the ups and downs of her journey as she revolutionises the use of Filo Pastry. *Disclaimer: These film reviews may or may not be accurate

SPORTS STARS TERM ONE 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

What sports, and for what teams are you currently playing? What is your greatest overall sporting accomplishment? What do you enjoy most about sport? What was you greatest sports memory this term? What are you looking forward to most in the winter sports season?

Harry Scanlon (Year 11) 1. I play tennis at the moment for the Ignatius Drive team. I don’t play any other sports in summer. In winter, I play AFL football for school as well for our top squash team. 2. Earning the MVP for senior squash in school, I was recognised as being the top player. That’s my greatest sporting achievement or accomplishment. 3. The fun of doing something I love doing and it’s a time to get closer to my mates. Also takes my mind off other things. 4. Winning my singles match against someone from Pulteney. I was down and losing but came back to win the game. 5. Playing football again which is my favourite sport to be a part of, and trying my best and hardest to be a member of the 1st XVIII squad.

Séarlait Hogan (Year 12) 1. Currently I am playing netball, water polo, and softball. 3. The one thing I enjoy about sport is the teamwork involved, which is very prevalent in the sports I play. Also, I do like to show my competitive flair. 4. Greatest sporting memory this term is the softball team being currently undefeated (a winning streak for the Softball team is quite a rarity). This year we have 4 new players and it is great to see their willingness to learn and develop their skills. 5. This year I am particularly looking forward to Mr Noack becoming the new Open A Netball coach. The A's have not had much success in the past few seasons, so hopefully this year we will see a more stronger, cohesive squad.

Emily Peacock (Year 12) 1. Aerobics - senior dance team 2. Does competing in America for cheer count? (If so, I competed at Duel in the Desert in Palm Springs on the 1st and 2nd of Feb against international teams) 2 time aerobics national champion, national cheer champion 3. The adrenaline of getting out there and doing what you have been practising over and over in training. As a dancer you do a drill of your routine so much you could do it in your sleep, similar to many skills in team sports. Getting out there and actually competing makes all the hours of training worthwhile! 4. Participating in the 3000m as a preliminary Sports Day event. Everyone was so enthusiastic and it was great to see a variation of year levels, groups and abilities getting involved and giving it a go. 5. Commencing our competition for aerobics and supporting all of the other Iggies teams in the Intercol, where we will dominate! (Intercol is Term 3 yeah??)

Will Duncan (Year 12) 1. Swimming (Norwood Swimming Club) and water polo 2. Making the national age group for the first time when I was 14 (in swimming). 3. The enjoyment of getting a personal best and the friends you make. 4. Coming so close to winning my first game of water polo for the firsts against PAC. 5.

SPORTS QUOTE OF THE ISSUE “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan

Playing footy for the seconds and hopefully being coached by Toome!

James Kennedy (Year 10) 1. 1st XI cricket, open A’s water polo & North Adelaide Football Club U/16’s football 2. Playing 1st XVIII football in Year 9 3. The most I love about playing sport is that I am not sitting around and I am doing something that I love. 4. So far it is taking 1/3 against Trinity in cricket 5. I am looking forward to start playing competitive football.

KIRCH’S WORD

INJURIES UPDATE

Hey guys, thanks to these five for giving info about their sporting accomplishments and hopes for the future! Now to the readers out there, I hope you have and are currently enjoying whatever co-curricular you are doing in and out of school, and I hope you can achieve what you are aiming to achieve. As the sports seasons move from winter to summer, get ready for muddy ovals, freezing mornings and awesome winter sports and activities that are fast approaching. Good luck!

Tom Buchecker – in sling for broken knuckle (may require surgery) – indefinite Henry Curtis – sore finger – 16 weeks Chelsea Allen – several broken fingers – 2 days

Marcus Kirchner

Cannonball is only possible due to the incredible people who are willing to give up their time and talent to write for us, and the great thing is, anyone can write for us! Issue #2 “The Formal Issue” is due for release mid Term 2 – if you’re interested in contributing, stay tuned to the daily notices for updates on goings-on in the Cannonball world. Contributions of any kind are welcome from all students Years 1-12 (just try to keep it G-rated)! Email cannonball@ignatius.sa.edu.au with any questions or queries 25 The Cannonball Team

Indie Music 101 - Liam McInerney Last year, we saw Jesse Davidson rise to popularity with airtime on Triple J, and making the final of Triple J Unearthed. People were surprised and amazed at the talent that we had in our own backyard; however, many people do not realize that Jesse is just one of many incredibly talented Adelaide-based musicians. Bands such as Archers, East End Villains, Console Warriors and The Salvadors have often gone under the radar, and the great quality of music they have been making has gone unnoticed. Archers – What Birds Think (2012) – Late in 2012, Archers released their first album What Birds Think. After releasing their single, Seven Skies, I was pretty excited for the album, and it didn’t disappoint. The light, succinct, upbeat percussion is complemented perfectly by the driving bass, and Old Scholar Hugh Black’s vocals meld perfectly. Hugh has the remarkable ability to be of great significance to the song, without taking away from the instruments; the vocals and the instrumentals complement each other perfectly, allowing each to hold their own. We see a great contrast in many of the songs in the album, with the smooth, somewhat haunting verse of Old Parades standing in great contrast to the explosive, exciting and upbeat chorus of Nero. They have released a couple singles since this album, and it’s clear that Archers have a pretty exciting future. (What Birds Think is free on Archers’ Bandcamp page) East End Villains – East End Villains EP (2012) – East End Villains are a 5-piece band from Adelaide, consisting of Old Scholars Brendan Connelly, Ben Zubreckyj, Jack Heithersay, Jacob De Poi and Hugh Black. Their first release in 2012, East End Villains EP, was very impressive. Many people started to take notice, and soon they were performing with the likes of The Salvador in late 2012. The first song on the EP, They Don’t Deceive Me, sets a great mood for the album. The clickety-clackety, almost tribal percussion in the opening of the song, joined with the upbeat guitar and melodic bass, provides a great base for Brendan Connelly to come in with his unique and recognisable voice. The upbeat music and catchy lyrics are a great start to the album, and are what make this song, in my opinion, the best song on the EP. The EP develops through a variety of styles, with the soothing acoustic guitar of Lucy, to the rhythmic, buoyant finale of Redheaded Blonde. East End Villains are a band we haven’t heard from in a while, with little information about future projects being released. I can only hope that they will continue to make music, as their unique sound and upbeat, exciting music is something that will definitely continue to have an impact on the Adelaide music scene. ( East End Villains EP is free on East End Villains’ Bandcamp page)

Console Warriors – Jitterblood Mini EP (2013) – In Console Warriors’ first release, Console Warriors EP, we saw a fair bit of what they were capable of. Their upbeat and complex percussion and sparing but effective use of guitar, allowed for the bass guitar to give the song meaning and direction, while still leaving room for front man Bill Meegan to blow us away with his vocals. It was clear from this first release that Console Warriors were a band with talent; this was reaffirmed by their second release, the Jitterblood mini EP. For an EP consisting of only three songs, it has a lot to offer. Console Warriors waste no time, jumping right into a clean, tight, edgy and combination of guitar, drums and bass on Sodapop Swing. This song is very upbeat and fun; it is a song to get excited about, and one you can really get into. This is why it makes it so hard to choose a favourite between this song and the next song, Jitterblood. The song is driven by the upbeat percussion and bass, which lay a great foundation for Bill to do his thing over the top. Jitterblood is definitely one of my favourite songs by any Adelaide band. (Console Warriors EP and Jitterblood Mini EP are free on Console Warriors’ Bandcamp page).

The Salvadors – Holy Drunken Fisherman (2012) – When I was at the Saint Ignatius’ Junior School, Tom Opie was just one of the cool young guys that worked at out of school hours care. A few years later, I found out that he was in a band called The Salvadors. I was pretty excited to hear what his band sounded like, and I was absolutely ecstatic when I first heard them. I instantly fell in love with their single, Wilson. Its jungle-drums, bright bass lines and summery guitar, mixed with Tom’s cool vocals created a sound that I instantly loved. Upon hearing more of their singles, I could not wait for the release of this album. The Salvadors kept true to their sound, producing many a summer-appropriate tune, with Tom’s vocals as cool as ever. The album starts very light and upbeat, and then with Straight and Narrow, transitions into a slightly heavier, but still very bright and bouncy summer anthem. This is continued with Wilson - my personal favourite from the album. The album rounds off in a very mellow fashion, with a simple acoustic song, Sunday Party Blues. Throughout the album, Tom seems to be working with the instruments, and doesn’t really get to show much of what he can do; in Sunday Party Blues, he really shows us what he’s made of. Some reviews say that this song brings the entire mood of the album down, but I feel like this mellow ending is appropriate. The 5 star rating might be a bit extravagant, as the album is not perfect; there are sections of the album and parts of songs which seem to drag on a bit, and are a little too try-hard California-rock for my liking. Due to the incredible number of amazing songs, though, I feel like it would be wrong of me to give this any less than 5 stars. (Holy Drunken Fisherman is available for purchase on iTunes, and The Salvadors’ singles can be downloaded freely from their Triple J Unearthed site).

What We Don’t Know About Queen Elizabeth II (Except for Dion)

Queen Elizabeth II is undoubtedy the most loved woman in the world today; her achievements have reached extraordinary heights and she is devoted to duty and sacrifice. Despite this, we, as members of the Commonwealth, still know so little about her. The Queen began her reign at arguably the saddest time in her life when her beloved father died during her visit to Kenya. From that day, February 6th 1952, Elizabeth has experienced happy, sad, overwhelming and significant moments in not only her life, but ours as well. So, what things - be they funny, sad, exciting or just interesting - do we not know about our 87 year old Monarch? Here are 30 facts you probably don’t know about our Queen: 1. Queen Elizabeth II is Britain’s 40th Monarch since William the Conqueror 2. During her reign, the Queen has received over 3.5 million items of correspondence and has sent over 45,000 Chirstmas cards 3. She has received a number of unusal gifts, including, but not limited to, live animals such as jaguars, sloths, tortoises, elephants and beavers 4. The Queen speaks French fluently and does not require an interpreter 5. Technically, the Queen owns all of the sturgeons, whales and dolphins in the water around the United Kingdom, according to a statute made during the reign of King Edward II in 1324 6. In 2010, Queen Elizabeth joined Facebook; in 2009 Twitter; and, in 2007, she launched a Royal YouTube channel 7. Queen Elizabeth does not require a passport, driver’s license or number plate 8. In 1945, the Queen learned to drive when she joined the women’s branch of the British Army; she also learnt how to fix truck engines 9. The Queen’s actual birthday is April 21st (regardless of when the various Commonwealth states choose to celebrate it) 10. Elizabeth has undertaken 261 overseas visits to 116 different countries; 16 of which were to Australia 11. The first soccer match that the Queen attended was the 1953 FA Cup Final 12. During her reign, the Queen has sat for 129 official portraits 13. Elizabeth has 30 godchildren 14. Throughout her life, the Queen has owned over 30 corgis, many of which are direct descendants from her first corgi, Susan, who was a present for her 18th birthday 15. The Queen’s husband, Prince Philip, was born on the kitchen table of his family’s country home in Greece 16. In June 1981, during a procession at Buckingham Palace, an attempted assassination took place where six shots were fired in her direction 17. Elizabeth woke up one night in July 1982 to find a man standing in her bedroom; for ten minutes, the two spoke about the man’s personal problems; the man was ordered to six months in a mental hospital

18. Despite the Queen being driven by a chauffeur in public, she drives herself around her private estates 19. Queen Elizabeth met her husband when she was just 13 years old 20. As a child, Elizabeth’s nickname was ‘Lilibet’ because her younger sister Margaret couldn’t pronounce Elizabeth 21. Queen Elizabeth wasn’t born as the future Queen; she became first in line to the throne after her Uncle, King Edward VIII, abdicated so that he could marry his lover, American divorcée Wallis Simpson; he was succeeded by Elizabeth’s father, King George VI when Elizabeth was just 10 22. The Crown Jewels don’t actually belong to the Queen; they are property of the State 23. Buckingham Palace, Queen Elizabeth’s main residence, has 775 rooms and 1200 staff working in the Royal Household 24. The Queen has a secret talent of impersonating people and has a real sense of humour 25. Despite being a very social person, Elizabeth is actually shy at heart 26. The Queen is the head of the Church of England 27. In 1969, the first television film about the family life of the Royal Family was made 28. Queen Victoria is both Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip’s great great grandmother 29. Upon meeting the Queen for the first time, one refers to her as ‘Your Majesty’ and thereafter ‘Ma’am’ 30. At the age of 21, Elizabeth proclaimed “I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong” – throughout her life, Queen Elizabeth II has stood by what she said all those years ago and, without a doubt, will continue to devote her life to our service until the day she dies

Festival Food Frenzy - Issy Soulsby Festival food is characterised by being easy to eat and ideally quick to make. Often eaten without cutlery whilst standing, or in some cases walking/running, festival food is ideal for a quick dinner before a show. During March, there are several places pop-up in Adelaide where festival food is aplenty.* The Garden of Unearthly Delights The huge array of food vendors at the Garden can make it difficult to know where to start. For a range of delicious tacos, burritos and quesadillas, go to La Cantina Co. I recommend the Chicken Quesadillas ($13), a combination of slightly spicy chicken, corn and tomato salsa and cheese, grilled until crispy and the cheese has melted. For simple Indian food, head to Beyond India where there are a variety of curries available including Butter Chicken and Chicken Vindaloo. For something a little bit different, try the Spicy Lamb Meloui ($12), a thin grilled flatbread stuffed with spinach, lamb and cheese, from Marrakech Express. The Royal Croquet Club The Royal Croquet Club has a much more limited range of food than the Garden but is by no means less delicious to dine in. If you fancy something simple, try the Smoked Pulled Pork and Slaw Bun ($9) from Sneaky Pickle, a soft and slightly sweet American style bun filled with juicy pulled pork and cabbage. For something a little more adventurous, try the Smoked Beef Brisket ($14), tender beef served with a cabbage and pineapple slaw, or Jerk Chicken ($14), spicy Jamaican chicken with rice and peas, from Jamaican Me Crazy. *I am aware it is no longer Mad March, however this article was not written in vain. Many of the places mentioned above, namely La Cantina Co. and Sneaky Pickle, can still be found outside of the Adelaide festival season. Fork on the Road is a festival-thing (food convention?) where many of Adelaideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food trucks gather and usually occurs once a month. The next Fork on the Road is on Friday April 4th from 5:30pm until late at Victoria Square. Head there to try one of Adelaideâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many food trucks.

The Best Joke in the World - William Duncan A very rich man gave birth to a son. On the son's sixteenth birthday, the man asked him what he wanted, saying that he could have anything his heart desired. The son asked only for a pink ping pong ball. His father was curious, but complied. After cake and ice cream, the son opened his presents, and then went up to his room with the pink ping pong ball. The ball was never seen again. The next year, on the son's seventeenth birthday, the man asked him what he wanted, saying that, since he was starting college early, he could have anything he wanted. The son asked only for a crate of pink ping pong balls. His father was confused, but he got a crate. After they had cake and ice cream, the son opened his presents. He went up to his room with the crate pink ping pong balls and neither the crate nor the balls were ever seen again. The next year, on the son's eighteenth birthday, the man asked him what he wanted, and said that, since eighteen is a big milestone, he could have anything he desired. The son asked for a truck full of pink ping pong balls. The father just couldn't hold it any longer. He asked his son: "What do you want with all of these pink ping pong balls?" The son asked that he trust him just a little bit longer. The father valued his sons privacy, so he did not pry, and bought his son a truck full of pink ping pong balls. After the sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s extravagant eighteenth birthday party, he went out to the truck alone. The next morning, the pink ping pong balls were nowhere to be found. The next year, on the son's nineteenth birthday, the man asked if the son still wanted pink ping pong balls. The son said that he would like a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls. The father had predicted as much; he was very rich, so he had their chauffeur drive the son downtown to a warehouse purchased for this exact purpose. When the son got there, he asked that the chauffeur leave him there overnight. The chauffeur, not one to disagree with his superior, left him. The next morning, when the chauffeur went to retrieve the son, the entire warehouse was empty. There were no pink ping pong balls to be found. The next year, just before his twentieth birthday, the son was in a car crash. While he was recovering in the hospital, the father came to visit him for his birthday. He asked, "Son, is there anything I can do to ease your pain? What shall I get you for your birthday?" The son asked for a single pink ping pong ball. The father said, "You will have that, only tell me what you do with all these pink ping pong balls." The son said he would explain once he had the pink ping pong ball. The father went down to the corner store and bought a single pink ping pong ball. When he returned to the room, the son was having lunch. He sat down next his son and gave him the pink ping pong ball. "Now, please, tell me what you do with them." The son spoke, slowly and with a stutter inflicted by the car crash "I wanted all those pink ping pong balls because I..." He died midsentence. 31