Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 31, No. 4

In This Issue

LGBTQ Veterans “Devil Dog” Tale Trans Student Views

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May 14, 2021 Volume 31, Number 4 camprehoboth.com

inside 4 In Brief 6 Out In Delaware

A Tale of Two Machinists DAVID MARINER

8 Intentionally Inclusive

The Price Our Nation Pays for Exclusion WES COMBS

10 CAMP News 12 Authentic Voices

THIS ISSUE

70 Celebrity Interview

20 Membership Matters

Big Freedia: The Queen Diva Speaks

CAMP Rehoboth ImpACT

MICHAEL COOK

22 Who’s That?

That’s CAMP!

76 Volunteer Spotlight

Small in Size but Huge in Hope and Heart

Dusty Abshire

ANITA BROCCOLINO

KAREN LAITMAN

30 Health & Wellness

80 The Real Dirt

Kicking-off the Season MARJ SHANNON

32 It’s My Life

14 Out & About

MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

MATTY BROWN

ERIC PETERSON

Happily Ever After—a Dog’s Story

STEFANI DEOUL

Live from the Dread Carpet

16 Community News 18 Before The Beach Keeping the Chorus on Course MICHAEL GILLES

Turf Wars

34 Out & Proud STEFANI DEOUL

36 LGBTQ+ YA

The Power of Deadnames GRAYSON PUTMAN

See page 80

Highlight on Flowering Trees

The queen diva speaks, see page 70.

40 A Call To Protect Trans Students

“To thine own self be true...”

VOLUME 31, NUMBER 4 • MAY 14, 2021

Sharing Student’s Stories

46 Reconsidering Service ANTHONY MOLL

58 A Grave State of Being

ERIC W. WAHL

82 We Remember

RENÉE BESS

60 CAMPshots

Let the Season Begin!

62 Straight Talk

50 Visiting View

Shaking the Gates of Heaven

ON THE COVER

CLARENCE FLUKER

64 Q-Puzzle

Photo: Murray Archibald

54 Dining Out

66 CAMP Arts

Lil Nas X Manifests the Dream

Mood Indigo FAY JACOBS

56 Historical Headliners

DAVID GARRETT

Salute to Memorial Day 2021

DOUG YETTER

68 Booked Solid From Archie to Zack

TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

Oh! Those Lusty Ancient Romans!

ANN APTAKER

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth welcomes submissions. Email editor@camprehoboth.com.

Photographs must be high resolution (300 dpi).

Documents should be sent as attachments in Microsoft Word®. Deadline for submissions is two weeks prior to the issue release date.

Letters 2 MAY 14, 2021

PUBLISHER David Mariner EDITOR Beth Shockley COPY EDITOR Marj Shannon DESIGN AND LAYOUT Mary Beth Ramsey ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Tricia Massella ADMINISTRATIVE SUPPORT Matty Brown DISTRIBUTION Mark Wolf CONTRIBUTORS Barbara Antlitz, Ann Aptaker, Murray Archibald, Renée Bess, Anita Broccolino, Matty Brown, Wes Combs, Michael Cook, Stefani Deoul, Clarence Fluker, Michael Thomas Ford, David Garrett, Michael Gilles, Fay Jacobs, Karen Laitman, David Mariner, Tricia Massella, Anthony Moll, Eric Peterson, Grayson Putman, Mary Beth Ramsey, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Salvatore Seeley, Marj Shannon, Eric W. Wahl, Doug Yetter

Letters from CAMP Rehoboth is published 11 times per year, between February and December, as a program of CAMP Rehoboth Inc., a non-profit community service organization.

CAMP Rehoboth seeks to create a more positive environment of cooperation and understanding among all people. Revenue generated by advertisements supports CAMP Rehoboth’s purpose as outlined in our mission statement.

The inclusion or mention of any person, group, or business in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth does not, nor is it intended to in any way, indicate sexual orientation. The content of the columns are the views and opinions of the writers and may not indicate the position of CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. © 2021 by CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. All rights reserved by CAMP Rehoboth. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any form without the prior written permission of the editor.

The Way I See It

CAMP REHOBOTH

MISSION STATEMENT AND PURPOSE CAMP Rehoboth is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit community service organization dedicated to creating a positive environment inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities in Rehoboth Beach and its related communities. We seek to promote cooperation and understanding among all people as we work to build a safer community with room for all.

We seek to promote community well-being on all levels; to foster the development of community groups; to develop community space; to promote human and civil rights; to work against prejudice and discrimination; to lessen tensions among the community at large; and to help foster the economic growth of the area. We work toward these ends through activities such as the following:

Fundraising for other organizations,

such as AIDS service organizations, gay and lesbian community organizations, recycling programs, environmental projects, literacy training, and other ventures for the general betterment of the community.

Networking resources and information

by publishing a newsletter, and functioning as an alternative tourist bureau and information center.

Promoting artistic expressions and creative thinking,

and giving aid to artists and craftspeople with an emphasis on the works of lesbians and gay men.

Education and outreach to the larger community,

including sensitivity training seminars, and printed materials to promote positive images of gay and lesbian people and others.

Promoting political awareness to build safe and inclusive community

through voter information, education, and registration; and analysis of issues and candidates.

PRESIDENT Chris Beagle VICE PRESIDENT Wesley Combs SECRETARY Mike DeFlavia TREASURER Natalie Moss, CPA AT-LARGE DIRECTORS Jane Blue, Pat Catanzariti, Jason Darion Mathis-White, David Garrett, Leslie Ledogar, David Mariner (non-voting), Tara Sheldon, and Leslie Sinclair EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR David Mariner HEALTH & WELLNESS PROGRAM DIRECTOR Salvatore Seeley DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Anita Broccolino

BY BETH SHOCKLEY, EDITOR

CAN YOU FEEL IT? THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW SEASON! THIS YEAR, PERHAPS LIKE NO OTHER,

we welcome it with a sense of hope—the vaccine providing a chance for our lives to return to something resembling normal. We may still need to wear our masks and to socially distance, but the summer season is upon us regardless. With some precautions, we can reconnect with friends, once again enjoy the sights and sounds of the ocean and the boardwalk, and delight in the return of parties and our much-anticipated nightlife.

We look forward to the rebirth of art openings, volleyball on the sand, concerts at the bandstand, crab feasts, and our CAMP Courtyard craft markets.

There’s all that and so much more we enjoy this time of year. For me, I’m looking forward to one of the touristy things I especially love to do—playing the horses game on the boardwalk. I can’t help it, I’m a kid in an older body. I used to be good at it; not so much anymore. Mainly because I can’t see as well as I used to. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. My wife is the one who brings home the stuffed horsies now—and we have a collection that needs to go to charity. One of these days....

Memorial Day marks the beginning of this kind of fun and celebration. But it’s also a time of reflection, when we honor the lives and the sacrifices of the veterans who have committed to uphold the freedoms we do enjoy in this country. The ranks of our military include, like every part of life, our LGBTQ servicemembers.

Word has it there are many ex-military LGBTQ folks here in Rehoboth, like Berdie Price, Anita Pettit, Hugh Fuller, Deb Knickerbocker, Marie Martinucci, Hali Confer-Jones, Des J. Jones…to name just a few. Not surprisingly, the servicemembers we profile in this issue, including our transgender veterans, have mixed reviews of their time in the military— positive, negative, and in-between.

Also in this issue, learn about an organization that coaches trans and non-binary folx to learn to use their voices to speak more authentically in the way they’ve chosen. We’ve also got the second installment of our series on the Christina School District’s action to secure the rights, safety, and well-being of transgender students.

As always, Fay Jacobs offers the inside scoop on a fabulous place to enjoy a meal. We’ve got the return of our column “Before the Beach,” highlighting the lives and careers of our neighbors before they retired here, our take on the Oscars, a rundown on our many health and wellness classes offered at CAMP Rehoboth, and a spotlight on some of the dedicated and tireless volunteers who help make CAMP Rehoboth the warm, wonderful, and welcoming place it is.

Enjoy and be well.

CAMP REHOBOTH 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 tel 302-227-5620 | fax 302-227-5604 email editor@camprehoboth.com | www.camprehoboth.com CAMP Rehoboth, Inc. is tax-exempt under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to CAMP Rehoboth are considered charitable contributions for federal income tax purposes and may be deducted to the fullest extent of the law.

A copy of our exemption document is available for public inspection.

MAY 14, 2021

3 Letters

WELCOME, MATTY BROWN! Show Your CAMP Rehoboth Membership Pride

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heck this out. If you’re a CAMP Rehoboth member, you can visibly show your membership pride. Everyone who joins or renews their membership will receive a color-coded cling that matches their Rainbow Membership Level.

We want everyone to be a part of the ImpACT CAMP Rehoboth has in our community. And now you can very proudly display your welcoming cling.

The beauty of CAMP Rehoboth is our inclusiveness. The support and services, the classes, arts, events, counseling,

Indigo Girls—SOLD OUT— Almost…

Don’t lose hope if you didn’t get tickets for the June 18 Indigo Girls concert at the Freeman Stage. There may still be a way for you to attend. Keep checking the CAMP Rehoboth website and Facebook pages as we announce opportunities for you to get a Pod! ▼ Letters 4 MAY 14, 2021

health and wellness programs—are all provided, regardless of whether you’re a member. But guess what? Membership matters! And we cannot continue delivering such amazing programs without YOU and the support of all our incredible members.

Become a member or renew your CAMP Rehoboth membership today! To learn more, visit camprehoboth.com/membership, or email Anita: anita@camprehoboth.com, or call 302-227-5620 and ask to speak with Anita about membership. ▼

CAMP Rehoboth has a new Operations Administrator and concierge extraordinaire!

He’s Matty Brown, and comes to us from Baltimore, where he graduated from Loyola University Maryland last May. A native of Bear, Delaware, Matty now lives in Lewes. “I’m so excited to join the team and the storied history here at CAMP Rehoboth,” he says.

Please stop in and say hi to Matty! ▼

New Bill Will Update LGBTQ Protections

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bill is moving through the Delaware General Assembly that will update protections for the LGBTQ community by adding more inclusive language to a 2009 law. The new legislation would change the current law which says sexual orientation “exclusively means heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality.” The phrase “exclusively means” would be replaced with the word “includes.”

Gender identity language will also be updated. ▼

SPEAKOut CROP Volunteers Help Horses

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s part of last month’s Women’s FEST, a team of 12 CROP (CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program) volunteers headed to Southern Delaware Therapeutic Riding (SDTR) in Milton. The team learned about SDTR and the good work it does, then got busy. From painting to power washing, weedwhacking, pasture picking, and more, the CROP members quickly knocked off a list of chores. SDTR was thrilled, and as a result they will be ready to start serving children and adults again this month, for the first time since the pandemic hit. Many thanks to our CROP volunteers. ▼

GSA Students and CAMP Rehoboth Volunteer at Food Bank

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n April 24, CAMP Rehoboth Youth Coordinator, Barbara Antlitz, along with GSA (Gender & Sexuality Alliance) students from Sussex Academy, volunteered at the Food Bank of Delaware in Milford. A shout-out to their GSA advisor, Mrs. Deanna Lough. Our intention is for our student-led projects to build community partnerships as well as bring awareness to others. The presence of a GSA in middle and/or high schools to provides a positive and lasting effect on student health, well-being, and academic performance. ▼

Dear Editor, We have an unsung hero among us in our community and we would like to take this opportunity to recognize her.

Jennifer Rubenstein has been part of the Rehoboth Beach/Lewes community for over 20 years. She is always the first to welcome new arrivals to the area by offering assistance and recommendations from doctors to restaurants.

During a period when most of us drew inward to keep safe, Jennifer worked daily to help people in Delaware find vaccinations and testing events. Even though she has a full-time job and is already involved in many volunteer and charitable activities, she worked with many people she had never even met to make COVID vaccination appointments.

Jennifer went above and beyond the call of duty to facilitate an end to the pandemic in such a time-consuming and selfless way. She was the best advertisement in our area for how to get vaccinated. We believe that hundreds of Sussex and Kent County citizens got vaccinated through her tireless efforts.

Thank you, Jennifer, for your kindness and tenacity in helping to heal our community! We are so grateful for your dedication to this community which we all love. As friends and neighbors of Jennifer Rubenstein, we would like Letters from CAMP Rehoboth to recognize her for the unselfish citizenship that she has practiced over the past months.

Sincerely, Brenda Dunn, Karen Anderson, Sherril Moon, Lou Montgomery, Pam Cranston, Sandy Neverett, Kathy Board, Jackie Maddalena, Rosemarie Schmidt, Carolyn Horn, Debbie Woods, Leslie Sinclair, Natalie Moss, Evelyn Maurmeyer, Fay Jacobs, Bonnie Quesenberry, and Rina Pellegrini

Send letters to the editor, 300 words or less, to editor@camprehoboth.com MAY 14, 2021

5 Letters

OUT in Delaware

BY DAVID MARINER, CAMP REHOBOTH EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR A Tale of Two Machinists

“H

urry up and wait,” Allegra Thomas says jokingly.

It’s an expression you sometimes hear in the Air Force. Like any big institution, there are always processes and hoops to jump through. These days, Airman First Class Thomas is waiting to be sent out to the Joint-Base San Antonio Gender Health Clinic. while Allegra, a transgender man, will head to the clinic to pursue gender-affirming surgery.

A bit of a wait is probably to be expected. After all, the ban on transgender service members put in place by the Trump administration was only lifted in January 2021. Allegra is one of many trans service members who came out after that. The clinic never stopped assisting transgender clients, even during the ban, but Allegra, like others, was hesitant: “I didn’t know what it really meant for me if I went there.”

The ban was lifted on January 25, and Allegra came out to his coworkers on the following day. “I’m a worrier, so I was so nervous,” Allegra said.

“At some point I remember somebody offering me a bottle of water, and I remember my hand shaking as I reached for it. I’m definitely somebody who worries a lot. But I really received nothing but love and support. It definitely felt like being received by my family.”

Allegra works as a machinist at Dover Air Force Base and is one of an estimated 15,000 transgender individuals who are currently serving in the military.

Of course, transgender service members have always been in the military, but their experiences have not necessarily been like Allegra’s.

Like Allegra, Amanda White also served in the Air Force here in Delaware. Amanda is a transgender woman who you may know as an organizer of Delaware Pride. Amanda and Allegra have a lot in common right down to their job descriptions. Amanda also worked as a machinist for 13 years, ending her career as a machinist’s mate. Their experiences in the military, however, are quite different.

Amanda enlisted in 1989, three years before “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” began. At the time, she didn’t

“I struggled to fit in, and to be like ‘the guys,’ but back then the possibility of living my life as a transgender woman was not even on my radar yet.”

Letters 6 MAY 14, 2021

know of any LGBTQ people in the military at all.

“There were rumors, of course,” she said.

Amanda was not out (even to herself) yet. “I struggled to fit in, and to be like ‘the guys,’ but back then the possibility of living my life as a transgender woman was not even on my radar yet,” she said. “It was not a great experience for me,” she continued, “I would not discourage anyone from joining the military. For a lot of people, it’s a very good decision—especially if college is not for you— because it can train you in a trade.”

Allegra added that everyone’s experience is different and he is thankful for where he is. He is particularly grateful for his therapist, provided by the Air Force, who is helping him through this journey.

His advice? “I’m not saying it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but honestly, I would say as long as you feel safe and you have a little bit of faith in the people around you, come on out. I personally was so caught up in trying to imagine people’s reactions, that I didn’t give them the chance to react. People can’t show you they love you unless you let them.”

I asked Amanda if she is surprised by Allegra’s experience, and specifically the Joint-Base San Antonio Gender Health Clinic.

Amanda paused and said, “It’s not surprising to me that something like this is coming. But it is a bit surprising that they already have it.” ▼ David Mariner is Executive Director of CAMP Rehoboth.

MAY 14, 2021

7 Letters

Intentionally Inclusive

BY WESLEY COMBS

The Price Our Nation Pays for Exclusion

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s the nation prepares to celebrate Memorial Day, mainstream news coverage will pay tribute by featuring a wide array of veterans. While there is greater diversity among the servicemembers highlighted, the stories of LGBTQ Americans who served their country are often overlooked and even ignored.

This feeling of exclusion is something LGBTQ veterans in the US know all too well. Until Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) was repealed in 2010, LGBTQ people were forced to serve in silence or risk being dishonorably discharged from the military regardless of their contributions and sacrifices to keep our nation safe.

CAMP Rehoboth chose to highlight servicemembers with ties to Rehoboth in this issue and I was honored to have the opportunity to interview three of them: Gary Espina, Justin Terry-Smith, and Bonnie Quesenberry. While 800 words is hardly sufficient space to do them justice, my hope is that readers will better understand how important military service was to each of them and what each of us can do to make them feel valued and welcomed.

Justin, a 41-year-old Black gay man living in Severn, Maryland, was working three jobs to get by and joined the US Army for a better life. He loved his job and was good at it. Justin’s outgoing and energetic personality may be the reason he was able to quickly bond with other gay men who were part of “a secret society” to stay below the radar, so to speak.

When he was told his next assignment would be in the Middle East, Justin panicked. Not only was being openly gay not compatible with military service, but it could also cost Justin his life if he were to be captured by the enemy. Because DADT prevented him from saying why, Justin was forced to find a way to end his enlistment without receiving a dishonorable discharge.

After becoming a civilian, Justin experienced a newfound freedom Letters 8 MAY 14, 2021

of not caring what people thought of his sexuality, although he missed the camaraderie and structure provided by the strict adherence to military protocol.

“It was a missed opportunity to grow, but now, looking back, I would not have met my husband and had two kids.”

Bonnie enlisted in the Navy in 1967—at the age of 18—for some of the same reasons Justin did. She longed to attend college, but her parents lacked the necessary resources. Also, Bonnie’s mother had other plans for her future, which was for her to get married and begin working at Westinghouse near her home in Baltimore. Bonnie knew she did not want to get married (a year later she knew why) and saw military service as a way to get an education through the G.I. Bill.

Like Justin, Bonnie developed bonds with other women but knew she risked discharge if her sexuality became known to her superiors. Bonnie and her friends were often followed by members of the Naval Investigative Service.

When questioned about their sexual orientation, “we learned to lie and it was awful.” No longer willing to hide who she truly was, Bonnie was able to secure an honorable discharge at end of her three-year enlistment.

Looking back, Bonnie told me that the service was good for her because the structure kept her focused and allowed her to become successful in her role. We will never know what impact Bonnie could have had remaining in the Navy. On a positive note, leaving the Navy allowed her to meet and marry the love of her life, Fay Jacobs.

After graduating with a political science degree from U.C. Berkeley in 1987, Gary Espinas joined the Army as a Second Lieutenant and knew that being gay would mean having to hide who he was. But serving in the Army was always his dream so it was a risk he was willing to take.

During DADT, Gary was investigated when someone in the government

asked him if he was gay and he answered truthfully. “Somehow I survived, and the Army did not separate me,” but he never found out why. Gary was a rare and lucky survivor since over 13,000 LGBTQ servicemembers were discharged under DADT. In fact, Gary served 26 years and retired at the rank of Colonel after a distinguished career.

Despite the progress with the integration of LGBTQ people, the military can do better. Critical thinking is a priority, so creating a diverse service with those who can think out of the box will result in new ideas and better solutions.

Communities can also support LGBTQ servicemembers and veterans and help them feel welcome.

Both Gary and Bonnie said we need to have a better understanding as a society to recognize and appreciate the kind of sacrifice and commitment LGBTQ people are making to serve their country. We can show interest in their service and their experiences.

Justin hopes that people will be more mindful when engaging with LGBTQ veterans happen to be Black so they may focus more on their role and why serving was so important to them.

This is something Gary experienced the last time he wore his uniform while attending an LGBTQ Pride event at the White House. When President Obama shook his hand and thanked him for his service, Gary said “it was one of the most emotional experiences of my life. I was glad I could finally wear the uniform as an out active-duty soldier.” ▼ Wesley Combs, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a diversity and inclusion expert, executive coach, and a passionate social justice advocate. He is the founding principal of Combs Advisory Services where he works with clients who share his values of enabling equity, equality, and opportunity in the workplace and the community.

MAY 14, 2021

9 Letters

CAMPNews Chesapeake & Maine to Support CAMP Rehoboth in June

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AMP Rehoboth is excited to be tapped as one of Dogfish Head Craft Brewery’s philanthropic Beer & Benevolence (B&B) program beneficiaries. As part of their giveback to the coastal Delaware community through creative collaborations with nonprofit organizations, CAMP Rehoboth will be the recipient of a campaign during Pride month at their seafood and cocktail spot, Chesapeake & Maine, in downtown Rehoboth. For the month of June, Chesapeake & Maine will feature a keg-conditioned “CAMP Cocktail” on its menu. For every CAMP Cocktail sold, $1 will be donated back to CAMP Rehoboth. Chesapeake & Maine will also host weekly happy hours throughout the month of June with 10 percent of the proceeds benefiting CAMP Rehoboth. Look for details about these CAMP Rehoboth social and professional networking events to be posted on our website at camprehoboth.com and social media pages. ▼

Celebrating Pride in Milton

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AMP Rehoboth is proud to be a returning sponsor of Milton Pride Weekend, taking place June 9-13. The long weekend will feature performances by The Boy Band Project, Mama's Black Sheep, and Magnolia Applebottom at Milton Theatre. The theatre is planning events to celebrate Pride during the entire month of June. Queer Queens of Comedy featuring Michele Baland, Fay Jacobs, and Poppy Champlin will perform on June 4, and stand-up comic Julia Scotti will perform on June 18. Find out more at miltontheatre.com and—closer to the event—on the CAMP Rehoboth social media pages. ▼

Support CAMP Rehoboth on Amazon

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ou can support CAMP Rehoboth with every Amazon purchase you make. On your desktop head to smile. amazon.com and select CAMP Rehoboth as your designated charity. If you use the Amazon app on your phone or tablet, just click on settings and choose Amazon Smile. You will then be able to select CAMP Rehoboth as your designated charity. ▼

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Letters 10 MAY 14, 2021

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We know these are stressful times, and we know that coming together and helping one another is how we get through them.

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As your Morgan Stanley Financial Advisor, I will help you create a plan that makes sense for you and your goals. With our knowledge and resources we will help you manage risk and keep your plan on track, so you can focus on all that’s happening in life.

Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 +1 302 644-6620

Associate Vice President Financial Advisor 55 Cascade Lane

Jennifer.Harpel@morganstanley.com NMLS #1310708

Contact me to see how I can help you or provide a second opinion.

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11 Letters

Authentic Voices

BY STEFANI DEOUL

“To thine own self be true...”

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his headline is from Act 1 Scene 3 of Shakespeare’s and chesty to do it. Try it “smaller,” and it just won’t have the Hamlet. It is also the underlying operating principle of same effect. Resonance makes a difference.

Authentic Voices, LLC, a speech-language, gender-afNext there’s intonation, where, for example, speakers perfirming, voice therapy practice for the trans and non-biceived as feminine might use a more upward intonation pattern. nary community.

This is a quality which should be subtle, because an overuse Ryan Ellenbaum (she/her) and Samantha Klein (she/her) met in might give you a “valley girl” effect. There’s also pragmatics, graduate school, at Temple University, which, as fate would have where gender expression can extend to what you say or how it, is one of the few schools that you say it. And finally, there’s offered a class (note the singunon-verbal communication. lar) in gender affirming voice Even when we’re not speaking, therapy. But that one class did we’re communicating with our have a clinic, and there, watchbodies; a constant messaging ing nonbinary folx come in and with our posture, hand gesevolve into their own skin betures, eye contact, facial exprescame as transformational for sions, and even proximity to our Ryan and Samantha as it was conversation partners. Clients for the people having vocal are asked, “Is this message in training. Fast forward a few line with all your vision?” years, and a practice is born.

Assessed, explained, let the Its mission is to help clients work begin. It’s a process of Its mission is to help clients complete themselves by complete themselves by findthoughtful incremental changing their voice—the voice they es, each evaluated, explored, finding their voice—the voice they hear in their head. hear in their head. The one that practiced, and repeated, until The one that matches their vision. The one that makes matches their vision. The one muscle memory takes hold. them authentically themselves. that makes them authentically Anyone who’s ever heard “you themselves. can take the kid out of the And how do they get there? ____, but you can’t take the First up, setting goals, defining success, and yes, even adjust- ____ out of the kid,” knows this isn’t easy. For gender non-coning expectations. Are you happy with how you sound? How femi- forming people, none of it is. nine or masculine do you want to sound?

Not that many years ago, this field was in its infancy, and for When someone thinks about changing their voice to sound most people who transitioned it was, at best, a tool to help them more masculine or feminine, the first thing that usually comes to “pass.” Today, the field is growing at a speed which matches mind is raising or lowering their pitch (aka frequency). Although our burgeoning understanding of the spectrum of gender. Not pitch changes alone are unlikely to influence perceptions of everyone wants to be taken from A-Z. Some people would like speaker gender, many studies have been conducted to pinpoint to move a little left or right with a goal toward androgyny. exact pitch ranges for voices perceived as masculine, gender And in this emerging world, Samantha Klein and Ryan neutral, and feminine to unfamiliar listeners.

Ellenbaum share a takeaway that is upbeat and constant, a Now if you’re thinking well, why not just “pitch up” and reflection of themselves—as in “to thine own self be true”—and be done, the answer is not so simple. Clients might wind up be reflected in a healthy manner. Gender affirmation voice and with more of a child’s voice than what is preferred. And while communication therapy is for anyone who feels that their voice hormone therapy might give a transmasculine person a “stepdoes not match their identity. Working together, with Authentic down,” there is much to be done to make that hormone-induced Voices or a practice like it, can help clients close that gap and voice authentic. find their best voice.

All of which leads us to resonance, which largely has to do For those interested in learning more, you can reach out to with how a person shapes the sound of their voice using the lips, Ryan and Samantha at authenticvoicesllc.com. ▼ tongue, and other structures of the mouth. Generally speaking, cis-males have a “chestier” or darker sound quality, due to anStefani Deoul is a television producer and author of the award-winning atomically larger laryngeal and oral cavities. By contrast, cis-feYA mystery series Sid Rubin Silicon Alley Adventures, with On a LARP, males have a more “forward-focused” or brighter resonance, as Zero Sum Game, and Say Her Name. they tend to have laryngeal and oral cavities that are smaller.

Sound complicated? Let’s simplify and give it the old “HOPhotos, left to right, Ryan Ellenbaum and Samantha Klein.

HO-HO.” We’ve all done Santa’s Ho Ho Ho…and we all get big

Letters 12 MAY 14, 2021

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13 Letters

Out & About

BY ERIC C. PETERSON

Live from the Dread Carpet

S

ince the publication of our last issue, the High Holy Day of the Gay Calendar has come and gone. I speak not of Barbra Streisand’s 79th birthday, although that also happened—and runs a close second. No, of course I speak of Oscar night.

And what a party it…wasn’t. The Academy Awards received historically abysmal ratings this year. It’s possible that audiences will return when we’re once again gazing upon a crowd of impossibly glamorous film stars crammed like bejeweled sardines into the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, not a smattering of nominees sitting in booths in a train station. Or perhaps audiences will flock back to the Oscars when the slate of films being celebrated aren’t so dreary.

In any event, I watched even if you didn’t.

Up for Best Picture this year were the sad story about a man losing his faculties, another sad story about a man losing his hearing, a polemic in which the death of Fred Hampton is a major plot point, another polemic in which the death of Fred Hampton is a minor plot point, a black-and-white film about a screenwriter addicted to booze, a candycolored film about a woman addicted to avenging her dead friend, the tale of a Korean family who move to Arkansas, and the tale of a woman who moves into her van. Please don’t misunderstand, they were all good films and worthy of celebration. But they weren’t exactly a barrel of laughs.

And this is nothing new. The Oscars have never celebrated comedy to the extent that they should. This is true even though comedy (as most directors and actors will tell you) is more difficult than straightforward drama, and equally capable of uncovering profound truths about the human condition. But this year’s selections seemed especially mirthless. This is because the eight films

Letters 14 MAY 14, 2021

up for the night’s highest honor were, for the most part, ruthlessly unfunny, and also because we, the audience, have been living with a global pandemic for over a year now, and have never been more in need of a chuckle.

But despite the gloom that pervaded the films of the evening, there were some lighter moments to be found in the ceremony itself. Yuh-Jung Youn because the first Korean actress to win an Academy Award, for playing the saucy grandma in Minari (one of the few comic performances in the Best Picture race).

She began her acceptance speech by flirting with Brad Pitt, last year’s winner

Please don’t misunderstand, they were all good films and worthy of celebration. But they weren’t exactly a barrel of laughs. for Best Supporting Actor. Daniel Kaluuya won that award this year for his turn as Fred Hampton in Judas & the Black Messiah, and included in his thanks was a shout out to his mother and father for having sex and thereby conceiving him.

Finally, as the night wore on, Glenn Close (who had lost yet again after receiving her eighth nomination) won the hearts and minds of the few of us who were watching by displaying an encyclopedic knowledge of “Da Butt,” a song from Spike Lee’s School Daze, capped off by a spontaneous twerk.

There were also some awkward moments. The rushed “In Memoriam”

video was so fast, viewers could barely register those we’d lost—and even so, they managed to leave out three giants of the gay literary canon: Terrence McNally, Mart Crowley, and Larry Kramer, all of whom passed last year and all with Hollywood screenwriting credits on their résumés. Even worse was the producers’ decision to award the Best Actress and Best Actor awards after Best Picture. Apparently, they were so convinced that Chadwick Boseman would win a posthumous Oscar that they saved the moment until last, only to see the award given to Anthony Hopkins, who was asleep in Wales at the time.

The Academy accepted the award on his behalf, and the show just…stopped.

A friend later said it was an ending even more anticlimactic than the final scene of Nomadland. It wasn’t exactly Faye Dunaway giving an Oscar to the wrong movie, but in terms of sheer cringe, it was close.

But don’t worry, Oscar. I’ll still be with you, next year and the year after that.

I’m a gay man of a certain age, and like Tevye the milkman, I believe in tradition.

In the meantime, have a wonderful summer. Visit with your friends. Hug your mom. Breathe, relax, and allow yourself to have a little fun. Because— and honestly, I say this only as a friend— dude, you gotta lighten up. ▼ Eric Peterson is a novelist, podcaster, and essayist living in Washington, DC. His podcast, The Rewind Project, looks back at old movies; his debut novel, Loyalty, Love & Vermouth will be released later this year. Visit www. boldstrokesbooks.com to pre-order.

I’ve Navigated to Compass Chris Beagle Realtor ® M 215.262.6209 O 302.273.4998 chris.beagle@compass.com

Chris Beagle is a real estate licensee affiliated with Compass RE, a licensed real estate broker and abides by equal housing opportunity laws. 18335 Coastal Highway, Lewes, DE 19958

MAY 14, 2021

15 Letters

CommunityNews Delaware Votes Against LGBTQ Health Data Collection

S

tate Representatives for a CDC national health study voted in April on whether to standardize data collection on sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI). The Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance Survey (BRFSS) is the nation's premier system of health-related telephone surveys that collect state data about US residents regarding their health-related risk behaviors, chronic health conditions, and use of preventive services.

Collecting SOGI data helps communities understand what the important health issues are for LGBTQ communities and makes it possible to write successful proposals to help eliminate these health disparities.

More than 30 states currently collect this data. Delaware collected the information from 2015-2019. State BRFSS coordinators voted in April whether to make SOGI questions a standard part of the survey for all 50 states. Delaware voted against this proposal, which failed to pass. The Delaware BRFSS coordinator, Dale Goodine, cited financial concerns: “Delaware is supportive of the SOGI module as a continued ‘optional’ module, but will vote ‘no’ in moving it to the core without the provision of funding, and the

risk of having to provide additional hard-to-come by funding, or even risk cutting sample size to compensate for added costs.”

It is unclear whether Delaware will add SOGI questions to their 2022 BRFSS Survey. Goodine stated: “There are many nuances associated with selection of BRFSS survey questions and modules. Annually, Delaware considers a variety of questions and/or modules to add to the survey. As always, there will be many competing factors to consider including priority areas such as COVID-19, food security, and family planning. Often, these priority areas come with funding to support inclusion of select modules and questions.”

Dr. Scout, Executive Director of the National LGBT Cancer Network, stated: “The states that do collect these data are building a never before seen world-class dataset that allows researchers to dive deep into health disparities experienced by trans people, by queer people of color, and more. These data are the first step in getting funding to fix our health disparities. So we heartily look forward to the day when we don’t have to beg to be counted.” ▼

Share Laughs and Pride with Fay Jacobs

T

he Queer Queens of Qomedy are coming to the historic Milton Theatre on June 4 to be a part of Delaware Pride, and Fay Jacobs— former Letters editor, author, and CAMP Rehoboth legend—will join a host of queer comics on the bill.

Headlining will be the infamous New York comic Michele Balan, a finalist on Last Comic Standing, and a regular on Olivia Cruises.

Her comedy is comprised of observational humor, one-liners, and life experiences. Think Henny Youngman meets Joan Rivers.

Fay will be the next and newest Queen to wear the crown. Calling herself the last comic sitting, she has performed her show, “Aging Gracelessly,” all over the east coast for the last six years. And she has new material for her debut with these comedy queens.

Queen number three, Poppy Champlin, is the ringleader and host of the show who is constantly changing her routines. She always adds a tune to keep folks laughing and tapping their toes. An added bonus guest is Ann Singleton, a fledgling comic who took Poppy’s online class and is now hitting the main stage.

Tickets are $25 at Miltontheatre.com. Showtime on June 4 is 8 p.m.

The theatre is located at 110 Union Street, Milton, Delaware 19968. Call 302-684-3038. ▼ Letters 16 MAY 14, 2021

Fire at Shrimpy’s Pub

A

fire at beloved LGBTQ watering hole Shrimpy’s Pub on May 1 caused $500,000 worth of damage.

Shrimpy’s Pub was always a go-to spot for the community, who knew it first as Big Sissies, then The Swell. The cause of the fire is under investigation. ▼

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MAY 14, 2021

17 Letters

Before the Beach

BY MICHAEL GILLES

Keeping the Chorus on Course

F

irst, he makes the bletlach. It takes eggs, milk, water, flour, salt, and a lot of butter. What he does with all of this is beyond my pay grade. He then takes anything that contains cheese or cream in the title and creates something that is really delectable. Now I am staring at Larry Rosen and the perfect blintz.

From his heavenly blintzes to his cutwith-a-fork brisket, Larry is a wonderful cook—or, as he demurs, “a good home cook.” But that’s not all he’s good at.

As anyone will tell you, Larry and his housemate Barry Bugg (or BLarry, as they are singularly called) do a fantastic job managing the production side of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus. And part of the reason for the success of the chorus is the bang-up job Larry and Barry do for them, performance after performance, So how did Larry get to this place, Rehoboth, and the chorus? It all started in Waltham, Massachusetts, where his dad served in the Army. After several moves (all of us military “brats” can identify with that), Larry ended up in Rockville, Maryland. That raised some eyebrows from this interviewer, as I also ended up in Rockville at the same time. It gets spookier, as Larry also attended the same elementary school as my wife and was at the University of Maryland at the same time as me AND my wife. And now, Delaware. I suppose it’s all coincidence, but I keep looking over my shoulder to check and see if he’s following me.

After living in Rockville for several years, Larry’s parents moved. In a Home Alone moment, Larry stayed. He spent two years at Miami University of Ohio before graduating from the University of Maryland in elementary education in 1979. Soon after, he found the only fulltime job he’s ever had.

In 1979, Giant Food was in the process of converting their registers to scanning technology. Seeing an opportunity, Larry read all the technical manuals, and became a PC specialist (did I mention he’s very smart?). He would remain with Giant for 17 years.

Letters 18 MAY 14, 2021

When faced with a downsizing move in 1996, Larry retired on disability after suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome and arthritis, which still hinder him today.

He says he doesn’t remember which was better—the joy of reading books about people like him for the first time or the adrenaline rush he felt smuggling the book past his parents.

That’s how Larry made a living. But his after-hours activities during this time would change his life forever.

Larry always knew he was gay (the boy crushes in elementary school were a good clue). Larry chuckles and says, “in college, I did fall in love with a boy and a girl at the same time. It was a…very confusing time!”

In the 1980s, Larry performed stage manager duties, talent searches, even master of ceremony gigs for LGBTQ organizations in DC. In 1993, he joined

the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington as a member of the stage crew. His myriad tech experiences there would prepare him for his Rehoboth future.

It was while working with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington that Larry met his friend and future housemate, Barry Bugg (and BLarry was born).

Together they worked long hours for the chorus, performing both administrative and technical duties.

When it came time to retire, Barry asked Larry if he wanted to go with him to Rehoboth. Larry had lost his long-time partner to AIDS in 2011 and had stopped working with the chorus in 2014. So in 2015, Larry said yes, packed up his vintage tie collection and crepe pan, and drove off toward the morning sun.

That journey led to the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus and a partnership with Director Doug Yetter. Larry and Barry would become the production team behind the chorus so Doug wouldn’t have to sweat the not-so-small stuff.

Interestingly, Larry had another connection to Rehoboth. When he was much younger, he bought his first gay book at Browseabout Books. He says he doesn’t remember which was better—the joy of reading books about people like him for the first time, or the adrenaline rush he felt smuggling the book past his parents.

What makes Larry happy these days?

Family, a long walk along Gordon’s Pond, and cooking up a storm for his grateful friends. Larry says that he is glad to be in Rehoboth, glad to be alive, and glad to be my favorite cook. Interview over.

Make me a blintz. ▼ Michael Gilles is a playwright, actor, and director from Milton, and a regular contributor to Letters from CAMP Rehoboth.

MAY 14, 2021

19 Letters

MEMBERSHIP MATTERS ImpACT Story

PTK Virtual—a Passion with a Purpose

“I

remember one man, especially. He arrived at his first PTK merged. There now are two virtual meetings each month for (Parents of Trans Kids) meeting just 24 hours after his people who care for a trans child (it could be a parent, a guardchild came out to him as trans,” says Sally McBride, a facil- ian, a grandparent, etc.) and two for trans youth. itator with PTK. “He asked to ‘just listen,’ as he wasn’t yet ready Geography and distance no longer being barriers, PTK to talk. But by the end of the evening, he’d found the words— Virtual serves families throughout Delaware, and from and the supportive environment— Pennsylvania, Maryland, and New he needed to begin his journey as Jersey. McBride estimates that the parent of a trans child.” more than 200 families have now McBride, a co-founder of PTK attended at least one meeting.

Delaware, embarked on her own “There have been changes journey of parenting a trans child over the years,” says McBride. nearly 10 years ago. “Our daugh“When we started, we saw mostly ter, Sarah, came out to us on parents of middle school or high Christmas Day, 2011. The assistant school kids. But in the past couple minister of our church connected of years, we’ve seen parents with us with two couples with adult children as young as four, and trans children. Over the next few parents of adult children who are years, five of us couples with in their 20s or 30s, but just now trans kids began to meet regularly coming out to their parents.” to socialize and to support one She adds, “we’re now seeing another. We realized there might many more parents of children be other parents who could use a who are gender non-conforming, similar group.” gender fluid, genderqueer, or PTK Delaware held its first non-binary. The preferred terms …PTK Virtual serves families throughout meeting in August 2016, at Nevary; we use whatever each Delaware, and from Pennsylvania, Maryland, mours/AI Dupont Hospital for Chilfamily uses.” and New Jersey…more than 200 families have dren in Wilmington, Delaware. At Ultimately, “PTK provides first, about five to seven parents hope” says McBride. “We give now attended at least one meeting. typically attended the monthly parents hope that they can be meeting. But those numbers soon loving, affirming parents of a began to grow; just five years later, it’s now common to have 15 transgender child. And—even more importantly—hope that to 20 parents at a meeting. PTK has added break-out groups to their child—living as their authentic self—can be happy and its meetings, to assure everyone has a chance to talk. successful.” ▼ Two years ago, as the geographic reach of the group grew as well, McBride realized it was time to establish “PTK If our ACTions truly speak louder than words, then the ImpACT of CAMP North” and “PTK South.” She reached out to Tara Sheldon, a Rehoboth is evident not only in our advocacy work, but in the day-tosocial worker and CAMP Rehoboth Board member, to explore day programs, classes, free counseling, and health testing we offer. This options.

ImpACT story is just one among many that exemplify and celebrate the Sheldon, along with Salvatore Seeley, CAMP Rehoboth’s successes your Membership Gift makes possible. Stay tuned for more Health & Wellness Program Director, partnered with PFLAG Membership Matters stories, to see how even a seemingly minor ACTion and representatives at Bayhealth to establish a PTK program in can have a huge ImpACT on one—or many—lives in our community. southern Delaware. PTK South started meeting at Bayhealth’s Milford campus in 2019, just months before COVID-19 arrived.

Image above, State Senator Sarah McBride and Sally McBride.

Ever resilient, PTK North and PTK South moved online and

…Tara Sheldon, a social worker and CAMP Rehoboth Board member, along with Salvatore Seeley, CAMP Rehoboth’s Health & Wellness Program Director, partnered with PFLAG and representatives at Bayhealth to establish a PTK program in southern Delaware.

Letters 20 MAY 14, 2021

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MAY 14, 2021

21 Letters

WHO’s That?... That’s CAMP!

BY ANITA BROCCOLINO, CAMP REHOBOTH DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR

Small in Size but Huge in Hope and Heart!

T

his year’s Women’s FEST was definitely small in size— thanks to the pandemic—but because of those who participated, it was full of heart and hope. Some of the socially distanced, in-person events almost made you feel a sense of normalcy returning to our town. CAMP Rehoboth staff were excited to see so many of our CAMP Rehoboth members and volunteers, some whom we had not seen since COVID restrictions began. And equally exciting were the number of new faces and members who came out in support.

Women’s FEST kicked off with what we called a Laugh & Learn.

Playing to a Zoom room, Liz Bradbury dazzled the crowd with an immensely entertaining, informative, and funny first event of Women’s FEST, “Ten More Queer Women in Art and History Who Changed the World.” The attendees were from all over the US, from New York to Arizona.

The Women’s FEST CROP (CAMP Rehoboth Outreach Program) event went horsing around at Southern Delaware Therapeutic Riding, where our volunteers handled a variety of spruce-up chores around the barns in preparation for the new season of riders and clients. To keep that outdoor action in motion, there was lots of talk of birdies, though not the fine-feathered flying types, but rather in terms of golf scores.

No holes-in-one happened during the Women’s FEST golf outing, but that did not stop the smiles and laughter from the full field of golfers who played on (and off) the course. After the round of play, the golfers enjoyed drinks and great food and desserts from the new chef at American Classic Golf. Plus, our golfers got to be the first group to enjoy the renovated interior and patio. Kudos to the low score winning team of Arletta Nicholl, Mary Anderson, Kathleen Bostedo, and Francine Pranzo, and longest drive winner, Terry McQuade. Jo Picone made the course festive with her “Party on Hole 4” contest. We hear her new name is “Jo Peanut Butte,” but we’ll leave it up to our readers to find out why.

Then it was on to Saturday afternoon, when the Women’s FEST bite-sized fun continued with the Handmade Art Market.

Quite the hit along Baltimore Avenue, several new artists and crafters were on-hand, attracting a steady crowd and occasionLetters 22 MAY 14, 2021

al lines to get in. The new courtyard string lights, hung specifically for evening activities, were lit for this celebratory event.

Thanks to all the vendors and to the hundreds of attendees who perused the market.

At the same time, nationally known artist and educator Joey Mánlapaz juried our FEST ART 2021! While the art market happened outside, tours of the beautiful art were given inside the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center.

The next morning, despite the early misty clouds, Broadwalk on/off the Boardwalk was set and ready at CAMP Rehoboth. Long-time members and Broadwalk Chairs, Kathy Wiz and Muriel Hogan, along with Connie Holdridge and Meredith Rothstein of the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition, welcomed attendees picking up their feather boas and walking at their own pace.

During the afternoon, Vineyard Vines in Tanger Outlets hosted their Giveback event to raise funds for CAMP Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST. Be on the lookout for additional fun from them soon.

As a grand finale to our Women’s FEST-lite long weekend, Christine Havrilla, and Laura Cerulli and Ashland Miller from Mama’s Black Sheep, performed some of our favorite songs.

We owe a huge thanks to all who came out to support, volunteer, and participate this year. Special thanks for their extra time and assistance with the golf tournament to Lana Warfield, Pam Notorangleo, Joann Glussich, and Jo Picone.

All those who offered their time, energy, and funds from previous years, who supported CAMP Rehoboth as sponsors, know that we could not have made this last year possible without you—and we’re excited to welcome you all back as we reboot Women’s FEST for 2022.

The party has just begun, so stay tuned to the Women’s FEST Facebook page and the CAMP Rehoboth website as we bring more fun events throughout the rest of 2021. ▼ Anita Broccolino is Development Director at CAMP Rehoboth. She can be reached at anita@camprehoboth.com.

OUR SUPPORTERS MAKE IT HAPPEN PURPLE LEVEL Greg Albright & Wes Combs X Sondra N. Arkin X Aaron, Heather, Gia & Joe Book* Catherine Brennan Carol Bresler & Carolyn Billinghurst X Tony Burns X Pat Catanzariti & Carole Ramos* Edward Joseph Chrzanowski & Talmage Wesley Sykes* Skip Dye & Steven King* James W. Johnson & Matthew H. Shepard* Christine Lay X Diane & Chris Martin* Fred Munzert & J.P. Lacap Beth Pile & S.A. White X Mark Purpura & Matthew Adams* Chris Rinaldi & Brian Powers X Mary Rossettini & Kathleen Taylor Jennifer Rubenstein & Diane Scobey X Evie Simmons & Barb Thompson X Leslie Sinclair & Debbie Woods X Diane Sweeney* The Robert V. Hauff & John F. Dreeland Foundation X Jennifer Walker & Mary Ann Veitch X William Cross Foundation

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Connie Fox & Donna Adair Tom Galloway & Les Diggs Richard Green & Asi Ohana X John Hackett & Tom Newton* David Hagelin & Andy Brangenberg* Harris Holden X Terry Hollinger & Mike May John Holohan & William Ensminger* Steve Hoult & Rick Bane X Karen Hugues & Cathy McCallister X Anthony Incalcatera & James Buswold Dorsey Johnson & Kay Jernigan* Jocelyn Kaplan & Idalie Adams X Linda Kemp* Deborah Kennedy & Beth Yocum* Jerry Kennedy & Robert Quinones X Eric Korpon & Steven Haber* Leslie Ledogar & Marilyn Hewitt* Stephen Manos X James Mease & Philip Vehslage* Richard Morgante & Edward McHale* Susan Morrison* Dennis Neason & Steve Bendyna* Kim Nelson & Lori Simmons X Fran O’Brien & David Gifford* Don Peterson & Jeff Richman X Keith Petrack & Michael Fetchko* Anne Pikolas & Jean Charles X Stephen Pleskach X Gail Purcell & Sandy Kraft* Tony Purcell & In Memory of Daniel Espejel Bill Rayman & Frank King* Marty Rendon & John Cianciosi* Keith & John Riley-Spillane X Kim Rutherford & Dalit Eyal Douglas Sellers & Mark Eubanks Scott Shaughnessy & John Hassell* William Snow X Joseph Steele & Chris Leady Angie Strano & Cindy Gruman David Streit & Scott Button* Anne Tracy & Mary Gilligan Peter Trost & John Worek Margaret Wilkins* Kathy Wiz & Muriel Hogan X Jon Worthington & Bryan Houlette X Doug Yetter & Mark Horne* Lisa Zimmerman X

YELLOW LEVEL Brenda Abell X Keith Anderson & Peter Bish X Dale Aultman & Paul Gibbs X Pamela Baker & Diane Dixson* Linda Balatti & Shirley Gilmer X Susie Ball & Susan Delaney X Mike Ballenger & Martin Thomas* Miriam Barton* Chris Beagle & Eric Engelhart* Tom Beall Barbara Beavers & Kathy Carrell Sherry Berman & Deb Hamilton X Abby Bernstein & Karen Frank X Deborah Bosick Nancy Bouse & Norma Morrison X Michael Boyle & Greg Murphy X John Brady X David Carder

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP 2021 Kathy Casey & Jean Burgess X Kate Cauley & Pat Newcomb Bob Chambers* Jean Chlastawa & Susan Griesemer Jim Chupella & Jim Wigand* Dottie Cirelli & Myrna Kelley X Austin Clayton Steve Clayton & Brad Lentz Gary Colangelo & Gerald Duvall X Nancy Commisso* Thomas Conway & Thoth Weeda* Kay Creech & Sharon Still* Drexel Davison - Bad Hair Day?* Lewis & Greg Dawley-Becker* Anthony Delacruz & Ronald Mangano Ann DeLazaro & Annette Potemski Marianne DeLorenzo & Linda Van de Wiele* Fred DiBartolo & Steve Wood X Maureen Dolan & Karen McGavin* Albert Drulis & Scott Silber* Sandy Duncan & Maddy Ewald Susan Eig & Ellen Schiff X Gary Espinas & Daniel Sherlock Karen & Lisa Faber* Alice Fagans & Ruth Ann Mattingly* John Farley & Dennis Wilson X Dent Farr & Erick Lowe* Dee Farris* Jerry Filbin* Cecily Fisher & Loretta Higgins Diane Fisher & Kharma Amos Metropolitan Community Church of Rehoboth* Monica Fleischmann & Lona Crist X John Flournoy & Jim Chrobot John Furbush & Tom Feng Susan Goudy* Bill Graff & Jeff Schuck* Ken Green & Joe Kearney* Michael Green & Robert Schwerdtfeger* Patricia Guild Jo Hamilton & Donna Voigt* Harbor Healthcare* Pete & Joanne Harrigan* David Herring & Karl Hornberger Carol Holland - Holland Jewelers X Caroline Huff & Brenda Robertson* Pete Jakubowski* Philip Johnson* Marilyn Kates & Laura Glenn* Rose Korten & Brenda Pinkney Greg Kubiak* Susan Kutliroff & Barbara Snyder Carol Lazzara & Sheila Maden* Monica Lewis & Ann Zimmerman* Frank Liptak & Joe Schnetzka* Jim Lonsdale & Bryan Hoffman Patricia Magee & Anita Pettitt X Ellie Maher Harold Marmon & Robert Hill* John Marson Jill Masterman & Tammy Jackson* Tony Mazzarella Mickie McManamon* Howard Menaker & Patrick Gossett X Floyd Merchant Ray Michener & Tom Carlson* Marvin Miller & Dan Kyle X

Linda Miniscalco & Jeanne Drake* Sherril Moon & Louise Montgomery* Jack Morrison & Bob Dobbs* Rita Nelson & Ralph Peters Sandy Neverett & Pam Cranston X Robert Nowak & David Bergman X Judy Olsen & Joanne Kempton X Maggie Ottato X Dotti Outland & Diane Mead X Peninsula Gallery - Tony & Carol Boyd-Heron* John Piccirillo & Jonathan Rose Joanne Picone & Kathy Bostedo* Denny Pintello & Coke Farmer* Tom Poor & Tom Bachmann - Bin 66 Fine Wine* Jim Pressler X Sam Profeta X Lisa Rabigi & Bea Vuocolo* Joie Rake & Nan Flesher X Charlotte Reid & Polly Smale* Gene Roe X Thomas Rose & Thomas Sechowicz X Lucien Rossignol & Tom Harris* Mark Saunders & Bob Thoman* Gary Schell & Jim DiRago Betsy Schmidt X Sheryl Schulte & Jeanne LaVigne* Angela Scott Troy Senter & Stacey Chan* Mary Ann Slinkman & Sharyn Santel David Smith & Kenn Williams Susan Soderberg & Terri King X John Michael Sophos & Miss Dot Sophos* Mary Spencer & Kathy Lingo* Greig Stewart & Jake Hudson* Russell & Patricia Stiles* Lenny Stumpf & John B. Pitchford* Brett Svensson & Bill Quinn Dust Doctors LLC* Gordon Tanner & Robert Patlan* Lana Warfield & Pamela Notarangelo X Cal Weible & Daniel Halvorsen X Michael Weinert X Douglas Werner & JD Pryor Joseph & Diane Wood Tony Wright & Mary Jo Bennett X Renee & Steven Wright DMD PA* Steven Wunder & Rod Hastie Jean Sutliff Young* Joanne Yurik* Larry Zeigler X John Zingo & Rick Johnson*

ORANGE LEVEL Gwen Atwell & Marla Hoon Shannon & Sarah Avery* Ruth Ball & Mary Ellen Jankowski* Romulus Barba & Dean Yanchulis* Paul Barbera & Joseph Nolan Peter Bezrucik* Kathleen Biggs & Maria Campos Kathy Board & Jackie Maddalena Boland Family - In Memory of Michael J. Kelly* Linda Bova & Bridget Bauer The Sea Bova Associates* Continued on page 24

MAY 14, 2021

23 Letters

Continued from page 23

William Briganti & Gary Moore* Anita Broccolino - In Memory of Cathy Fisher Wendy Bromfeld* Ronald Butt & Steve Cannon* William Byron & Ali Lazur Debbie Cali & Maddie Cunningham Michael Clement & Mac Gardner* Charlie Codacovi* Community Bank Delaware* Mark Conheady* Lois Cortese & Jill Stokes X Kenneth Currier & Mike Tyler X John D’Amico* Joseph Davey & H. Ralph Fletcher Linda DeFeo X J. Lynne Dement & Lisa J. Snyder* Jim DiLalla & In Memory of Frederick Episcopo* Tony DiMichele & Jeff Smith* Joe DiSalvo* Donna Dolce* Arlyce Dubbin & Kathleen Heintz* Jeanne Embich* Maureen Ewadinger* Ellen Feinberg & Lesley Rogan X Barbara Fitzpatrick & Denise Centinaro Sara Ford & Anne Donick* Deb Fox & Deb Bonneau Charles Gable Christopher Galanty & James Apistolas Joan Glass X Ron Glick & Tien Pham* William Gluth & Channing Daniel Ed Gmoch* Mike Gordy & Ed Brubaker Joe Gottschall & Scott Woody Charles Graham* Deborah Grant & Carol Loewen* Todd Hacker Wesley Hacker & David Block* Jen Hackler Siobhan Halmos & Beth McLean* Sharon Hansen X Tracey & Erica Hellman Nancy Hewish & Vicki Martina* Bill Hillegeist X Vance Hudgins & Denny Marcotte* John Hulse X Mary Huntt & Angela Creager Janet Idema & Patricia Higgins* Bob Kabel* Sharon Kanter & Cyndy Bennett* Mark Kehoe X Maryl Kerley & Pat Sagat X Bonnie Kirkland & Wanda Bair X Ruth Kloetzli & Lisa Scholl* Jay Kottoff & Mark Matey* Rob & Jean Krapf X Barbara Lang & Diane Grillo* Jim Lesko Chip Logan Dale & Sue Lomas* John Mackerey & Donald Filicetti Duncan MacLellan & Glenn Reighart* Robb Mapou & Mike Zufall Marsha Mark & Judy Raynor* Marie Martinucci & Pam Kozey* Michael & Stephan Maybroda Kathy & Steve McGuiness* Kate McQueen* Margaret Moore & Sheree Mixell X Thomas Moore & Richard Bost* Robert Neighbour & Andrew Dan

Letters 24 MAY 14, 2021

Pat Nickols* Donna Ohle & Susan Gaggiotti X Sandra Oropel & Linda Frese* Carolyn Ortwein & Ann Barry* Rutland Paal & Robert Mittleman* Sandra Pace & Barbara Passikoff X Steve Parker* Ellen Passman X Marilyn Pate & Dorothy Smith* Rina Pellegrini Colleen Perry & Jane Kuhfuss* Marianne Perry & Jeanette Laszczynski Deena Pers X Grace Pesikey & Janet Urdahl* Russ Phipps & Stephen Jacobs* Peter Pizzolongo & Carlos Prugue* Pat Powell Stephen Proctor Pierce Quinlan & Ginny Daly Jay Raksin Thomas Ramsey & Chris Murray Alex Reed & Jed Millard Susan Reinagel & Dawn Henderson* Pat Renninger & Tammy Plumley X Bill Rogers & Jeff Wilkinson Judy Rosenstein & Elva Weininger X Michael Safina & Tim Bean Katherine Sams* Richard Sargent* Laurie Schneider & Margie Ripalda* Teri Seaton & Rena Frampton-Seaton Michael Seifert & Harvey Holthaus* Craig Sencindiver & Gary Alexander* Frank Shockley & Arthur Henry Anita Smulyan Tina Snapp Christine Stanley & Joyce Rocko* Matthew Stensrud & Michael Cohen Caroline Stites & Elizabeth Coit X Robert Stoltzfus & Gerald Warhola* Brian Straka* Sandra Sullivan & Lorie Seaman* Terrence Sullivan David Szumski & James Carfagno Trudie Thompson Thrasher’s French Fries* Jeffrey Trunzo & Herman Goodyear* James Vernicek & Jeff Dailey* Tama Viola Don Wainwright & Tom Jamison* Elizabeth Way & Dorothy Dougherty* Donald Wessel William Wheatley* Ralph Wiest & Anthony Peraine* Daryle Williams & Steven Fretwell Melanie Wolfe & Monica Niccolai Sherri Wright & Dick Byrne* Niki Zaldivar & Cecil McNeil X Kathryn Zimmerman Helaine Zinaman & Roselyn Abitbol X

RED LEVEL Guy Abernathey X Adrienne & Kim* Jim Affonco X Mark Aguirre & Wayne Gleason X Bill Alldredge X Stephani Allison & Judith Gorra X Marge Amodei* Alan Anderson X Daniel Anderson & Greg Melanson Lois Andreasen & Jean McCullough* Andrea Andrus & Maggie Shaw X Peter Antolini X

Patricia Antonisse X Wanda Armwood & Illona Williams Judith & Wanda Ashbrook Jan Atwell Terry & Gayle August Jack Ay & James Krebsbach* Josh Bach & Edward Ginley Kathleen Bailey X David & Sandra Baker John Baker & Richard Latham X John D. Baker June Baker* Sarah Barnett Curtiss Barrows X Brian Bartels Eric Barton & Greg Nagel John Batchelor X Karen Beck George Beckerman* Beebe Medical Foundation* Pat Beebe Mike Behringer & Nelson Correa* Sheryl Bender & Doreen DiLorenzo* George Benes & Michael Mallee X Suzanne Bennethum & Deborah Smith Jeri Berc X John Berdini X Joel Berelson & Charles Maples* Lisa Beske Christine Bielenda & Karen Feuchtenberger* Thomas Biesiadny X Deb Bievenour & Susan Shollenberger Lorraine Biros* Cathin Bishop & Laura Simon X Jason Blachek Ann Black & Kaye Wachsmuth X Carol Blair* Eric Blondin - State Farm Insurance Rehoboth Beach X Jacquelyn Blue X Rev. Dr. Tom Bohache & Tom Laughingwolf Simmons X Annabelle Boire* Carl Bomberger & Mike Rhoads Robin Bond & Leanna Johannes* Bob Bonitati X Joy Boone & Marina Simmers X Randall Borgerson X Pete Borsari X Laura Borsdorf X Darice Bowles & Gerry Sue Davis* David & Donna Bowman X Deni Boyer & Loretta Imbrogono Brian Boyle & Larry Gee X Beth Bozman & Dottie Pope Jim Brady & Mike Hays X Victor Branham & Mark Clark Kelly Brennan & Susan McVey* Susan Brinsfield & Barbara Devenport John & Bud Broda-Knudsen Debora Brooke * Kevin Brown X Lyn Brown & Winsome Boyd Mathew Brown Diane Bruce & Annie Sorvillo* Daniel Bruner & Tim Beymer Marilyn Bryant Donald Bucher & Kevin Paul Al Bulliner X Belinda Buras & Linda Simeone Geoffrey Burkhart & Bruce Williams* Carol L. Burnett X Rob Burns & Cris Hamer* Timothy B. Bush X

Randy Butt & Emerson Bramble* James Byrnes X Chris Cahill X Robertine Cale Ingrid Callmann & Karen Askins* Leslie Calman & Jane Gruenebaum* Michele Campisi & Julie A. Slick X Matt Carey X Jim Carlo X Justine Carpenter X Shirley Carpenter & Mary Coldren X John Carr & Billy Cox* Lisa Carrol & Deb Dubois X Marianna Carson & Laura Bobo Alice Casey Jo Cason & Peggy Neidlinger Teresa Cason & Lynda Schepler X Sara Cavendish & Wendy Bunce X Denis Chandler & Sebastion DiMauro Linda Chaney & Irene Lawlor* Helen Chang & Pat Avery Dr. Harvey J. Chasser X Mike Chateauneuf X Dan Childers & Ted Hernandez* Tom Childers & John Hall X Sandra Chinchilla & Michelle Holmes X Curt Christensen & Ellen Heald* Billy J. Christian X Dennis Chupella & Rob White X Norma K. Clark X Rob Cline Barbara Clipper Amy Clouse & Betty Long X Carolyn Cole & Sandy McDevitt X Stuart Comstock-Gay X Inez Conover X Bill Cooley & Ken Watkins DVM X Josh Cooper & Steve Rathburn Jeffery A. Coover X Michael Cornell X Lois Corson & Mary Murdoch X Mary Costa & Kris Nygaard Becky & Tom Craft X Wendy Cramer & Carolyn Baranowski* Theresa-Ann Crivelli & Angela Murray Robert Crocetti X Bill Cross & David McCall X Mark Cunningham & Ken Tattersall X Rich Custer Howard Cyr & Lynn Ashley* Susan Daily William T. Darley X Jeff Davidson & Steve Yahn Debra Davies & Joanne Saltzberg Jeremiah Davis Marsha Davis & Bev Lesher X Kathy Davison & Ruth Dickerson X Scott & Donna de Kuyper Hotel Blue* Frederick Dean & Steven Swierzy X Linda Dean & Donna Whiteside* Penny Lee Dean Scott Dechen & James Maino Michael Decker X Michael DeGraffenreid Susan Deise & Jerri Budzinski Bernie Delia X Frank Dell’Aquila X Claire Dente & Leslie Campo* Karen DeSantis & Carol Brice* Nancy DeToma & Meg Smith* David DeVargas & Steven Champion X

Carolyn DeVito Dawn Devries & Helen Krum Henry & Marcia DeWitt X Geri Dibiase Photography* Julie Dickson X Richard Dietz Phyllis Dillinger Mary Dipietro & Wendy Schadt* Deb Dobransky & Ketty Bennett* Arthur Dochterman X David & Lizann Dockety X Peg Dolan & Mary McDevitt X Debbie & Karen Dorris* Kathryn Downs Frances Doyle X Paul Dradransky X Michael Driscoll & Ben McOmber X Susan Dube & Diana Patterson* Deanna Duby & Carol Bruce Barry Dunkin Brenda Dunn & Karen Anderson Deborah Duran Gene Dvornick X Sue Early X Frank Echols & Robert Robinson Eden Restaurant X Gail Elliott & Bea Hickey* Pamela Elliott W. Kay Ellis Susan Farr & Joanne Pozzo Rene Fechter & Cynthia Smith Larry & Ro Fedorka Karen Ferguson Virginia Fessler & Chris Patton Jayne & Ro Fetterman* Irene & Edward Fick* Allen Fred Fielding X Joe Filipek & Larry Richardson X Mark Finkelstein & Michael Zeik X Paul Finn & Joseph Porporino Rick Fischer X Barbara Fischetti & Janet Thoden Gary Fisher & Josh Bushey* Chuck Flanagan & George Whitehouse X David Flohr & Steven Kuschuck* Paul Florentino & Chris Pedersen X Sandra Fluck & Beverly Morgan* Mary Ford & Judy Hedrick X Anthony Forrest & Glyn Edwards Roland Forster & David McDonald Beebe Frazer X Phil Fretz X Billiemichelle & Evelyn Friel* Neil Frock & Bob Harrison* Marilyn Fuller & Teresa Marigliano June Rose Futcher Lorraine Gaasche & Jill Mayer* Frank Gainer & Ramon Santos* Lynn Gaites & Faye Koslow X Nina Galerstein* Marcia Gallo & Ann Cammett Karen Gantz & Jeanie Geist Kathryn Gantz & Kathryn Gehret Don Gardiner X Cheri Garnet & Cynthia Arno Mindy Gasthalter* Wilson Gates X Charles George & Dennis Rivard X Tracey Gersh & Amy Johnson Gary Gillard X Jordan Gipple & Paul Weppner* Karen Glooch X Ronald Gluck Jane Godfrey* Randall Godwin X Jackie Goff & Mary Vogt X Continued on page 26

O LIVIA WISH ES YOU

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

OLIVIA IS A PROUD PREMIER SPONSOR OF CAMP REHOBOTH

View a full trip calendar on THE NEW OLIVIA.COM

Stay connected with Olivia's AT HOME WITH OLIVIA

Give the gift of travel with OLIVIA GIFT CERTIFICATES

OLIVIA.COM · (800) 631-6277 FOR SPECIAL OFFERS, MENTION “RB2021” WHEN YOU CALL MAY 14, 2021

25 Letters

Continued from page 24

Dave Gold & In Memory of James Yiaski X Robert Gold X Mel Goldberg Suzanne Goldstein & Dana Greenwald X Milton Gordon & Bill Hromnak X Teresa Gordy & Barb Ford X Dan Goren & Peter Robinson X Anita Gossett & Ronnie Smith* Lisa & Raymond Graff* Paul R. Grant & Marc Watrel* Cheryl Graves Linda Gregory Harvey Grider Kenneth Grier* Richard Grifasi X John Grillone & Paul Schlear Jr. X Joseph Gritz X Jeffrey Groenheide Wendy Grooms & Barbara Fishel X Carol Gross X James Gross X Richard & Frances Grote* Paula Grubbs X Helene Guilfoy X Bill Gunning & Joe Greoski X Bob Gurwin & John Rourke Marie & Ken Haag* Jay Haddock & Hector Torres* Gerard M. Haley & George D. Zahner X Cynthia Hall X Barbara Hals & Sharon Dyke Mark Hare & Mike Newman X Kelley Harp X David Harrer & Floyd Kanagy* Tanya Harris Pat Harte & Nancy Sigman Mary Hartman & Laurie Nelson Jeff Haslow X Janece Hausch* John & Mary Havrilla* Nancy Hawpe Daniel F.C. Hayes* Gail Hecky* Barb & Len Hedges-Goetti Leslie Hegamaster & Jerry Stansberry* Linda Heisner X Steve & Maria Hendricks David Herchik & Richard Looman X Fred Hertrich X Howard Hicks & Stephen Carey X Barbara Hines & Nancy Froome X Howard C. Hines, MD X Janel Hino & Patricia Ann Scully X Connie Holdridge* Robert Holloran & Ed Davis* Brad Holsinger & Ed Moore Mod Cottage* Chris Holt & Emory Bevill X Larry Hooker X Mary Anne Hoopes & Dianna Johnston* James T. Hopkins X Elaine Horan & Debbie Sciallo X Kenneth Horn Frank Hornstein & Mark Henckel X James Hospital & Jack Fraker* Robert Hotes X Corey Houlihan & Karen Abato Carol Huckabee Peggy Ann Hughes Ron Hughes & Ben Cross Ellan Hylton Batya Hyman & Belinda Cross*

Letters 26 MAY 14, 2021

Thomas Ingold X Chris Israel & John Stassi X Debbie Isser & Fran Leibowitz Geoffrey Jackson & Will Delany X Fay Jacobs & Bonnie Quesenberry X Sharon Janis X Steve Janosik & Rich Snell X Robert Jasinski* Mary Jenkins & Laura Reitman Sue Jernberg & Chris Hunt* Susan Jimenez & Cathy Benson X Chip Johnson-In Memory of Joseph Lachac Donna A. Johnson* Ken Johnson X Randi Johnson Tara Johnson Jim Johnston Richard Jolly & Charles Ingersoll X D. J. Jones Dee Dee Jones & Julie Blake Gay Jones & Barb Bartels Glenn Jones X Rob Jones Sue Jones & Dottie Stackhouse Tom Jones X JoEllen Jordan Nola Joyce & Brenda Eich* Frank Jump & Vincenzo Aiosa* Wayne Juneau X Mick Kaczorowski X Bob Kaplan & Jeff Davis X Daphne Kaplan & Steve Scheffer Sharon Kaplan & Pamela Everett* Kevin P. Kaporch X Denise Karas & Katherine Bishop* Amylynn Karnbach - One Day At A Time Gifts, LLC Anne Kazak & Chris Coburn X Peter Keeble & Tom Best Margaret Keefe* Alan Keffer* Donald Kelly* John Kelly & Randy Sutphin X Michael J. Kelly X John Kennedy Hunter Kesmodel X Ned Kesmodel & Matt Gaffney X Marge Keyes & Julie Arenstein X C. David Kimmel* Spencer Kingswell X Daniel Kinsella* Frank Klemens & Barry Brown Jane Knaus & Cindy Myers Beth Kopicki in Honor of Barbara Nissley Stephen Kopp John Kort & Hung Lai* Robert Kovalcik & Bob Howard X Myra Kramer & John Hammett* Marcia Kratz* Karen Kreiser & Beth Nevill* Kevin W. LaBarge X Peter Lanzaro & Frank Bodsford X Dr. Mathilda Laschenski & Dr. Kathleen Heacock X Ruth Lauver & Judy Wetzel* Kate Lavelle X Charlie Lee X Jon Leeking & Dieulifete Jean* Edmund LeFevre & Keith Wiggs X Sherry Leichman & Keith Snyder Marsha Levine & Susan Hamadock X Barbara Lilien* Eleanor Lloyd & Celeste Beaupre Robert E. Long X Cynthia Lowe & Rae von Doehren

Debbie Lupton Diane Lusk X P. Michael Lutz* Minda Lynch Becky Lyons & Ebie Hamrick X Wendy Maclay & Sheree Davis* Christopher Magaha* Joe Maggio X Loretta Mahan* Bernadette Maher & Cheryl Tarlecky Jack Maher X Nancy Maihoff X Eddie Major X Bruce Majors X Harvey Manchester X Kate Mangione & Gayle Parker Brian Mann Domenic Mannello X Stephanie Manos & Reber Whitner X Anyda Marchant X Charles Marino & Alan Berman* Diane Markey & Randi Snader* Ann Martin Michele Martin & Rosalee Elson Norma Martin X Linda Martinak & Susan Baker Nan Martino & Patty Rickman* James Mastoris & Edward Chamberlain X Joe Matassino & Tim Murray Frank Matero Jason Darion & Jason A. Mathis-White John Matthews & Nick Polcini* Sarah Matthews Eric Matuszak X Lewis Maurer Donna McCabe & Mac Ignacio X Debbie McCall & Cyndi Brooks Kathleen McCormick & Elizabeth Fish X Sean McDonald Mary McElhone & Nancy Kaiser X Thomas McGlone X Jeffrey McGuire Ellen McKeon & Kay Cummings Joe McMahon X Jeanne Ann McManus & Robin Robertson Joseph McNally & Terry Jones X Charlotte McNaughton Chuck McSweeney & Michael Clay X Jim & Bruce McVey-Back* Mary Medlock & Susan Russell Buck Melton X John Messick X Joseph & Thomas Michael-Ryan Alicia Mickenberg & Kathleen Fitzgerald* Jamie Middelton* Dr. Phyllis J. Mihalas X Melissa Milar* Alicia Miller & Shawn Noel* Bruce R. Miller & Dean D. LaVigne X Frank Miller X Marilyn K. Miller & Candice Zientek* Todd A. Miller & Michele Frame X Stan Mills & Marcia Maldeis X Andrea Monetti & Karen Petermann* Sue Monismith X Jamie Moore Teri Moore & Barb Kulbaba* Mary Morgan & Beth Fitton X Meg Morgan & Susan Lynham X Carol Morris & Ann Abel Pearl Morris* Richard Morris Barry Moshinski & Robert Ponzini

Andrew K. Moss & Richard Blevins X Donna Mulder & Denise Delesio* Brent Mundt X Marie Murray & Deb Ward X Robbin Murray & De Raynes* Cynthia Myers Marc Nasberg & Howard R. Nelson X Keith Neale X Cindy Necaise & Debbie Cole X Lee Ann Nelson X Darrell Netherton & Robert Wheeler X James Newkirk & Leon Wilkowsky* Janet Newkirk X J. E. Newton, Jr. Charitable Trust X Arletta Nicholl & Mary Anderson Konrad Noebel, MCAT, LMT & Brian Cox* Chuck Oakes & Robert Dellanoce* Susan O’Brien* Terry O’Bryan & Jack Musser James O’Dell X Megan O’Donnell Dan O’Flaherty* James O’Malley X Richard O’Malley X Lisa Orem & Debby Armstrong* Missy Orlando & Patty Violini X Jeffrey & Lisa Osias X Kathy Osterholm Randy Overbaugh X Sharon Owens & Doreen Halbruner Sally Packard & Dinah Reath X Denise Page Bud Palmer X Stephen Pape & Jerry Clark Fred Parham Emilie Paternoster & Monica Parr X Carol Patterson & Carol Hughes* Tim Patterson & Harvey Sharpe X Peggy Paul X Wesley & Connie Paulson* Patricia Pawling & Jennifer Butz* Lucille & Dan Payne Michelle Peeling & Wendy Adams* Caroline Pellicano Beverly Peltz* Roy Perdue X Al Perez & Gary Kraft* Susan Petersen & Luz Cruz Eric Peterson X Elizabeth Petitte & Erin Reid Bruce Pfeufer X PFLAG-Rehoboth Beach Peggy Phillips & Norma McGrady* Frank Pileggi & Jon Blackman X Arleen Pinkos Janice Pinto & Lori Swift* Terry Plowman X Jo Pokorny* Claire Pompei & Dolores Yurkovic* Mary Lu Pool Jeanne Posner & Noreen Tomaino Roni Posner X Sue Potts & Karen Kohn X Renata Price & Yona Zucker* Timothy Price & Gerard Sealy X Glen C. Pruitt* Sarajane Quinn* Jean Rabian & Ralph Hackett X Elaine Raksis & Maxine Klane* Barb Ralph X Rob Ramoy X Bob & Mary Beth Ramsey X Linda Rancourt & M. Sue Sandmeyer* Lewis Rathbone*

Carole Redman Janet Redman X Carolyn Redmon & Nancy Allen* Randy Reed X Rehoboth Art League* Laura Reich & Deb Zabinski Peter S. Reichertz X Ken Reilly & Tony Ghigi X Virginia Reime & Gene Tadlock* Jeff Reinhart & Jack Miller* Don Reppy Thomas Resh & Jeffrey Meyers X Judith Retchin & Elyse Wander X Deborah Reuter & Deborah Bea* Sarah Reznek & Babette Pennay Sandie Riddell & Eileen Siner* Marion Ridley & Mark Lundy X John Riley Joel Robbins & Michael Linder X Sandra Robbins X William Robbins & Gary Ralph Sandy Roberts X Rob Robertson & Carlos Taylor X Teri & Amy Robinson-Guy Craig Rocklin X Tim Rodden & Randy Clayton X John & Susan Roehmer* Jeanne Rogers* Roy Rollins X Lauren Romig X Debbie Ronemus & Peggy Sander* Ed Rose & Sandra Robbins X Peter Rosenstein X Deborah & Charles Ross X Larry L. Ross X Ellen & Terry Roth Perreault X Barb Rowe X Ski Rowland & Gary Mosher X Joan Rubenstein X Mary K. Ryan Kelly Sabol & Erin Reid* Steve Sage & Thom Swiger X Chris Sailer & Min Mancini Joe & Nancy Sakaduski* Margaret Salamon* Cindy Sanders & Donna Smith* Sanford & Doris Slavin Foundation X Linda Santi Richard Scalenghe & Thomas Panetta* Lynn Scherer & Natalie Ireland Kim Schilpp* Michael Schlechter & Kevin Sharp X Lisa Schlosser & Sherri Brown Rosemarie Schmidt & Carolyn Horn X Kirk Schneck Holly Schneider & Linda Haake Jaime Schneider & Glenn Randall X Peter Schott & Jeffrey Davis* Linda Schulte Carol Schwartz X Craig Schwartz & William Pullen X Mona Schwartz & Joanne Tramposch* Carol Scileppi & Valerie McNickol* Diane Scobey X John Scotti & Greg Landers David Scuccimarra & Dorothy Fedorka* Clifton C. Seale & Charles A. Gilmore* Nancy Bradley Seibert* Marj Shannon* Dale Sheldon & Pat Coluzzi X Tara Sheldon Kelly Sheridan & Debra Quinton Continued on page 29

Proud to be a full time Realtor® serving Sussex County Delaware and the Delaware Seashore since 1989.

Allen Jarmon, Associate Broker Cell: 302.745.5122 | Office: 302.601.4171 ajarmon113@gmail.com NextHome Tomorrow Realty 20028 John J Williams Hwy, Lewes, DE 19958 Each office is independently owned and operated.

MAY 14, 2021

27 Letters

We hope you enjoyed the fun array of socially-distanced and virtual events in April.

Women’s FEST looks forward to returning fully in 2022!

Special thanks to our presenters, key hosts and in-kind Sponsors this year:

CAMP Rehoboth

THANKS YOU for participating!

Liz Bradbury Christine Havrilla Mama’s Black Sheep Lana Warfield and Pam Notarangelo of Berkshire-Hathaway/ Gallo Realty Joann Glussich of Glussich Resource Group Jo Picone Leslie Sinclair & Debbie Woods Joey Manlapaz Muriel Hogan and Kathy Wiz DE Breast Cancer Coalition Signarama Vineyard Vines SeaBarre and SeaCycle American Classic Golf The FESTArt 2021! Artists & Handmade Market vendors And our amazing Volunteers & Supporters!

Please continue supporting and patronizing our previous top level Women’s FEST Sponsors from 2020. We cannot do it without them, and their generosity helps to make an impact on our community.

Susan Kutliroff/Barbara Snyder MBA Nancy Kennedy RBC Wealth Management Natalie Moss Maplewood Dental Jeanine O’Donnell-State Farm

Beatrice Vuocolo Geri DiBiase Jenn Harpel/ Katie Rickards-Morgan Stanley Furniture & More Karen Gustafson Realtor Midway Fitness

Diane Scobey Rehoboth Breeze Pearsall Family/ Anonymous Lana Warfield-Berkshire Hathaway/Gallo Realty Citizens Bank

Special thanks to the 2020 Co-chairs: Dotti Cirelli, Nancy Hewish & Fay Jacobs

Letters 28 MAY 14, 2021

Continued from page 26

David Sherman X George Shevlin & Jack Suwanlert* Davis Short & Beverly Castner Francine Siedlecki Frank Silverio X Marc Silverman & John Campbell* Brian Sims Joanne Sinsheimer & Margaret Beatty* Joy Sirianni & Chris Snell Sandra Skidmore & Jonathan Handy X Ken Skrzesz X Jeffrey Slavin X Anne Smith & Lisa Taylor Carol Smith* Harlan Joe Smith & Dustin Abshire* Leonard Smith X Peg Smith* Robert Smith Rosanne Smith & Brenda Butterfield* Shannon Smythe & Kevin Subers Claire & Mikki Snyder-Hall Sandra Sommerfield & Cindy Scott X Sandy Souder - Unity of Rehoboth Beach* Lynda Sowbel Dee Speck & Linda Kauffman X Jim Spellman X Lorraine Stanish & Beverly Miller* Christy Steer X Frank Sterner X Lisa Stewart X Libby Stiff & Bea Wagner X Allison Stine & Pete Jamieson Terry Stinson* Tracy Stith & Laura McCarthy Dr. Frederick C. Stoner * Michael Stover* Christine Strauss X Lois Strauss X Kaye Sullivan Jill Sungenis & Nicole Bano Frank Surprenant, DDS & Chris Wisner X John Swift & Ron Bowman X Melanie Szvitich Gail Tannenbaum & Wendy Walker* Ronald Tate & Jacob Schiavo X Suzie & Robert Taylor - In Memory of Richard Bonnet Micaela Tedford X Dave Thomas X The Hon. Henry E. Thomas IV & John-Kevin Litschgi X Thomas Tibbetts X David Tiburzio Otto F. Tidwell X George Todd & Rusty Baker Cassandra Toroian X Manny Tortosa X Cheryll & Bill Trefzger* Roz Troupin & Mary Harris X Patricia Truitt Abby Tschoepe & Pat Dunn* Matt Turlinski & Jerry Sipes X Ed Turner & Steve Baker X Judy Twell & Cheri Himmelheber Bruce Uliss X Thomas Urban & Marc Samuels* Donna Valla Debra Van Dyke* Jennifer Varone Joseph Vescio V. James Villareale & Dale Ebert* Gail Vitale & Carmen Garrett

Beverly Vogt & Waneeta Mack X Patrick Wadsworth & Mike Converse X Eric Wahl Marianne Walch X David Wall & Robert Houck* Kenneth E. Walz & Robert G. Ward, Jr. X Garold Wampler X Michael E. Ward X Robert Warmkessel X Jack Warren* Sharyn Warwick X Ellen Watkins X Troy Watson & Dennis Wolfgang* Debbie Webber & Terry McQuaid Lisa Weidenbush & Judy Stout Kathy Weir & Lynn Finaldi* West Side New Beginnings Donna West Karin Westermann Carl R. Wetzel X Liz Wheeler & Ruth Morse X Steve White & Wayne Williamson X Thomas White & Robert Freeman X Kurt Wibbens Phil & Stephanie Wikes Keith Wilkinson X Diane & Ken Williams Edward Williams Jim Williams* Rich Williams X Kelly Williamson & J Ellis Donna L. Wilson & Laurie R. Levin X Stephanie Wingert & Carla Avery* Patricia Wojnas David Wolanski Max Wolf X Carol Woodcock & Carol Lewis* Cody Woodfin & Rich Morgan Michael Wray Robert B. Wright X Robert T. Wright & Jack Lim* Marjorie Wuestner & Catherine Balsley* Janet Yabroff Alexander G. Yearley X James E. Yiaski X Linda Yingst* Vickie York X John Zakreski* Cherie Zeigler & Barbara Brimer James Zeigler & In Memory of Sam Deetz* Carol Zelenkowski* Keith Zembower Phyllis Zwarych & Sheila Chlanda*

CAMP REHOBOTH MEMBERSHIP Join today to support our mission!

RAINBOW MEMBERS RECEIVE:

• Basic Membership Package - Advance ticket sales to CAMP Rehoboth events - Recognition in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth - Rainbow level colored Member window cling(s) - Weekly “What’s Happening at CAMP” email • Discount on CAMP Rehoboth Event Tickets for Levels Green and above (as noted) • Free Health Screenings, Counseling Services, and Support Groups • Youth, Adult and Senior Programs, Services and Outreach • The satisfaction of knowing you are helping others!

PAY ANNUALLY or MONTHLY ☐

PURPLE LEVEL ☐ $2400 annual or ☐ $200 monthly Basic + 25% ticket discount and one 1/4 page ad in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth

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INDIGO LEVEL ☐ $1200 annual or ☐ $100 monthly Basic + 20% ticket discount

☐

BLUE LEVEL

☐ $900 annual or ☐ $75 monthly

Basic + 15% ticket discount

☐

☐ $600 annual or ☐ $50 monthly GREEN LEVEL Basic + 10% ticket discount

☐

YELLOW LEVEL

☐ $300 annual or ☐ $25 monthly

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MAY 14, 2021

29 Letters

health+wellness

By Marj Shannon

Kicking-off the Season

F

or me, Memorial Day is all about the motorcycles.

Given I live in a coastal resort community, this may seem like heresy.

Here, the weekend is all about kickoff to The Season. The one where the people flocking to our beaches outnumber the gulls doing the same, where the scent of sunscreen and French fries overwhelms that of saltwater, and where local businesses welcome the uptick in customers. It’s all about throwing out that big sandy welcome mat, holding our collective breaths for sun and warm temps, and preparing for the influx.

This year—after last year’s necessarily muted season—there’s a special sense of anticipation in the air. This Season, despite continuing COVID-19 restrictions, holds more promise than did last year’s—and a great deal of pentup demand for some sun-and-fun.

Of course, for the epidemiologist part of me (conservatively estimated at 80 percent), all that sun-and-fun also makes it the season-of-cautionary-tales.

As others’ thoughts race to the beach or the water or the parties, mine run just as fast toward sunscreen or water safety or safe sex. More about those in upcoming columns. Because this is the Memorial Day issue of Letters and for me, Memorial Day is all about the motorcycles.

But it’s not only about the motorcycles. It’s also about the missing man (or fallen comrade) ceremony, which I once was privileged to attend. This deeply symbolic ritual is a memorial tribute to fallen, missing, or imprisoned service members.

The centerpiece of the ceremony is a small table, which serves as a focal point of remembrance. It’s set close to the entrance of a military dining room, or VFW or American Legion hall, or even at some restaurants. It may turn up there on Memorial Day, Veterans Day, or POW/MIA Recognition Day (the third Friday in September).

The table, and each element on it, has special significance: ★ The table is round, representing the

Letters 30 MAY 14, 2021

everlasting concern the survivors have for the missing and fallen. ★ It may be set for one, symbolizing the isolation of the absent service member.

Or it may be set for six, with a place for each of the five armed services (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard), and a sixth for the civilians who died during armed conflict. ★ A white tablecloth symbolizes the pure intentions of the service members who responded to their country’s call. ★ A single red rose in a vase represents the blood service members have shed in service to the US; it also may represent the family and friends who await the return of missing service members. ★ A red ribbon tied around the vase represents the love of country that inspired the fallen and missing to serve. ★ A slice of lemon on the bread plate represents the bitter fate of the missing. ★ Salt sprinkled on the bread plate symbolizes the tears shed by family and friends. ★ An inverted glass represents the inability of the missing and fallen to partake. ★ A lit candle symbolizes a light of hope and/or the spirit of the fallen or missing. ★ One or more empty chairs represent the absence of the missing and fallen.

The elements of the ceremony, which originated in US citizens’ concerns over the POWs and MIAs of the Vietnam War, are traditional v. prescribed, and have evolved over time. For example, a bible (representing spiritual strength and faith) is often included but is not used in non-Christian or secular settings.

The missing man ceremony is one of the most poignant I’ve ever attended; even this one-time Vietnam War protestor was moved to tears.

But it’s another tradition arising out of the Vietnam War that means Memorial Day to me. It’s those motorcycles….

I lived in the Washington, DC metro area for over 25 years; for the last 10 of those, I lived in a suburb north of the city. Each weekday afternoon I commut-

…Memorial Day will always be all about the motorcycles. ed home along route I-270. Typically, I was fully engaged just negotiating my five northbound lanes of traffic; I gave little thought to the five southbound lanes.

But even I could not miss the many motorcycles turning up in those southbound lanes by late May, their numbers increasing daily. By the Thursday before Memorial Day, hundreds of motorcycles were cresting a small rise in the lanes to my left and streaming south.

Those motorcycles, intent on their mission, were arriving for Rolling Thunder’s Ride for Freedom, held annually in Washington, DC (1987 through 2019) on the Sunday before Memorial Day. The ride started at the Pentagon parking lot and ended at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.

Each year, the motorcycles signaled the bittersweet arrival of Memorial Day weekend for me as their engines’ thrumming reverberated in my chest, breaking my heart—once again—over the terrible sacrifices they represented. For me, Memorial Day will always be all about the motorcycles. ▼ Marj Shannon is an epidemiologist and wordsmith who has devoted her life to minutiae. She reports that yes, the devils are in the details.

Photo: Rena Schild, Shutterstock.com

Classes & Events—All Coming to You via Zoom WALK-IN HIV TESTING Mondays | 12:00-4:00 p.m.

Free rapid HIV testing at CAMP Rehoboth. Get your results in 15 minutes. Mondays are walkin, no appointment needed. Any other days of the week are available for appointments by calling 302-227-5620 or email salvatore@ camprehoboth.com for more information.

who are grieving the opportunity to be with others who are also on the grief journey— people who are genuinely understanding and sympathetic.

Register by emailing group leader Kevin Bliss at: kevin@kevinblisscoaching.com.

LGBTQ+ BOOK CLUB Monday, May 24, at 5:30 p.m.

OUR HEALTH AND WELLNESS COMMITTEE NEEDS YOU!

The CAMP Rehoboth Book Club is a queer-facilitated discussion group dedicated to reading novels about queer topics and/or books by Tuesday, May 18 | 6:00 p.m. queer authors. We alternate between fiction, The CAMP Rehoboth Health and Wellness non-fiction, and young adult selections. Our Committee is looking for community members book club aims to bring all members of our who want to make a difference and help guide community together in a safe, supportive, and the future of our health and wellness programs. inclusive space to enjoy literature, conversaZoom meeting. Contact Salvatore Seeley at tion, and engage with each other. This group is salvatore@camprehoboth.com. open to all regardless of sexuality or gender.

Zoom meeting. Email salvatore@camprehoLGBTQ+ YOUNG ADULT both.com for more information and this month’s DISCUSSION GROUP selection.

Wednesday, May 19 | 7:00 p.m.

LGBTQ+ BLACK, INDIGENOUS, AND CAMP Rehoboth and NAMI Delaware are PEOPLE OF COLOR MEETING pleased to announce a new, virtual discussion Tuesday, May 25, at 7:00 p.m. group designed specifically for young (ages 18-25) LGBTQ+ adults.

Join us for a peer-led discussion group of This group will meet by Zoom every third LGBTQ+ Black, Indigenous, and People of Wednesday of the month at 7 p.m. This group Color in Delaware. Our mission is to build a is free, confidential, and peer-led. Register: united and diverse LGBTQ+ Black, Indigenous, https://lgbtqdiscussion.eventbrite.com and People of Color community for our social, OWNING ONE’S POWER Thursday, May 20, at 6:30 p.m.

Join a conversation with Queen. From disempowered to empowered—this session will help participants learn how to shift their focus to becoming healing-centered in their everyday lives. Find out how to practice intentional effort to navigate the impact of harm and lean into resiliency.

For Zoom meeting ID/password, contact Barbara at Bantlitz@camprehoboth.com.

MONTHLY GRIEF GROUP

30-minute mindful exercise or morning meditation.

Zoom event. Contact Salvatore Seeley at salvatore@camprehoboth.com.

CHAIR YOGA Tuesdays at 9:00 a.m.

Everyone can access the health benefits of yoga in this Chair Yoga class with Erin, as she guides you to synchronize conscious breath and mindful movement. Reduce anxiety and stress, improve circulation, protect joints, build strength and balance, and support your overall well-being.

Zoom event. Contact Salvatore Seeley at salvatore@camprehoboth.com.

MEN’S DISCUSSION GROUP 2nd/4th Wednesdays each month | 7:00 p.m.

The Men’s Discussion Group is a safe and nurturing space for gay, bisexual, transgender, and masculine of center men to talk issues, values, and matters that make up our lives—free from stigma and judgments.

Zoom group. Contact: Salvatore Seeley at salvatore@camprehoboth.com.

LGBTQA+ YOUTH UP GROUP Thursdays in May

BUILDING FRIENDSHIP WITH OURSELVES & EACH OTHER

Specifically open to young people (ages 11-19), the CAMP Rehoboth LGBTQA+ Youth Discussion Group is a safe and nurturing space to celebrate who we are, promote respect and understanding, and accept each other’s differences to build a more connected community.

For Zoom meeting ID/password, contact Barbara at Bantlitz@camprehoboth.com.

Thursday, May 27, at 6:30 p.m.

WOMEN IN CIRCLE

Join Jesse for a fun, mindful, and interactive evening about building friendships with ourselves and one another.

For Zoom meeting ID/password, contact Barbara at Bantlitz@camprehoboth.com

1st/3rd Saturdays each month | 10:00 a.m.

political, and economic advancement.

Zoom meeting. Contact Salvatore Seeley at salvatore@camprehoboth.com.

Thursday, May 20, at 3:00 p.m.

MORNING MINDFULNESS

These one-hour sessions provide a safe and healing place for those struggling with grief.

Among other things, the group offers those

Tuesdays at 8:00 a.m.

Start your Tuesdays off with Erin and CAMP Rehoboth. Erin will lead you through a

A gathering of lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and feminine of center women. The circle is a welcoming, inclusive, and a positive place to meet, connect, and share with other women.

Each week a different topic opens the circle to discuss, learn, and support one other.

Zoom group. Contact: Salvatore Seeley at salvatore@camprehoboth.com.▼

HEALTH & WELLNESS PROGRAM DIRECTOR Salvatore Seeley HIV CTR COUNSELORS Jerry Filbin, Alan Spiegelman | YOUTH UP COORDINATOR Barbara Antlitz MAY 14, 2021

31 Letters

It’s My Life

BY MICHAEL THOMAS FORD

Turf Wars

W

hen we did the final walkthrough before closing on our house, the previous owner said something that at the time seemed perfectly harmless.

“People around here like to mow their lawns,” she remarked as we stood looking at the front yard. “It’s kind of a thing.”

A few months later, I would realize that it was a warning.

We purchased our house in January, when snow was covering the ground and mowing the grass was the least of my concerns. We didn’t even own a lawnmower and I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about it until maybe May. But the snow disappeared in March. Then, seemingly overnight, the grass leapt up as if it realized it was late for work and had to make up for lost time.

Fortunately for me, our neighbor runs a landscaping business. He offered to cut the grass for us. “First one is free,” he joked, like a sketchy older kid on the playground offering me a joint. And it almost worked. Until he told me that based on how quickly our lawn grows it would need cutting twice a week. I did the math, figured out that I could buy seven lawnmowers for the same cost, and decided I needed the exercise anyway.

At first, I also doubted his claim that our property would need so much attention. But sure enough, just a couple of days after being cut, the grass was just as high as before. Smallest Dog, looking for a place to pee, declared the situation intolerable. And so off to Lowe’s I went in search of a mower.

The first time I mowed, it was actually kind of fun. At least at first. The weather was cool, it was nice to be outside, and taking care of our house felt very grown up. But then I almost ran over a baby rabbit. It was huddled in the grass, minding its own business. Fortunately, I noticed movement in time and disaster was averted. Still, it made me tense. By the time I was done, almost three hours later, the novelty had definitely worn off.

Letters 32 MAY 14, 2021

It only got worse. Every time I mowed, there was something new to watch out for. Snakes, for instance, which apparently like to lie in the grass just waiting to be run over. Bees, which stubbornly refuse to get off the dandelions you’re about to mow down.

Having to shoo the critters out of the

It was like I’d become the Destroyer of Worlds, bringing death and destruction to my backyard universe. way doubled the amount of time it took to get the mowing done. Feeling like Godzilla destroying Tokyo every time I saw a moth or grasshopper fleeing from my advancing mower was emotionally exhausting. It was like I’d become the Destroyer of Worlds, bringing death and destruction to my backyard universe.

As if the guilt wasn’t enough, I soon realized that I was also involved in a competition. My neighbors, it turned out, had a long-established rivalry when it came to yard maintenance.

Every day in warm weather, the sound of lawnmowers and weed whackers filled the air. When I went outside, I saw people on all sides of our property tending to their own lawns.

On the surface, it seemed like a

friendly enough event. Everyone waved to one another as we pushed mowers from one end of our yards to the other, as if participating in some elaborate group dance number. But one day the neighbor whose property abuts ours, a lovely woman in her eighties, casually mentioned that, “Your grass is getting pretty high.”

I looked at our shared lawn. Her side was neat enough to play croquet on (which she in fact does). Our side looked like we were late on harvesting the hay crop. “We’re leaving it long for the pollinators,” I said, trying to sound convincing.

Eventually I settled into an uneasy truce with the lawn. I divided it into five sections, and each one gets attended to once a week. It’s an imperfect system, and it means our property always looks like a patchwork of grass at different heights. It also means I mow some part of the yard pretty much every day from the end of March through the beginning of December. But it mostly works.

As for the neighbors, last week while picking up dinner at our village’s lone restaurant, one of the owners introduced me to the new employee.

“His grandmother is your next-door neighbor,” she said. The guy looked at me. “So, you’re the one whose grass is always too long,” he said.

When I got home, I put the bags of food on the counter and headed for the garage.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Cubby asked.

“Later,” I said. “Right now, there’s a war to win.” ▼ Michael Thomas Ford is a much-published Lambda Literary award-winning author. Visit Michael at michaelthomasford.com.

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33 Letters

Out & Proud

BY STEFANI DEOUL

Happily Ever After—a Dog’s Story

F

a la…it’s May! Sunshine, lollipops, and the glorious outdoors await.

Even the CDC has finally caught the spirit and announced that if you’ve been vaccinated then you may gather in small groups—outside—UNmasked. Woo hoo! It has been a long, cold, rather unique, winter.

And that, my friends, was the beginning of my column, before a social media wind blew me off course.

It was a viral story. The electronic looking glass pulled me in and well, here we are. A woman named Tyfanee Fortuna was trying to find a forever home for a fostered chihuahua named Prancer. In an effort to be extremely honest about Prancer, Tyfanee hilariously began by pleading, “I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound...palatable. The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man-hating, animal-hating, children-hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family. Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.”

I know you’re thinking this is insane.

Who would adopt this dog? But stay with me here, because Tyfanee isn’t finished.

“Prancer only likes women. Nothing else. He hates men more than women do, which says a lot. If you have a husband don’t bother applying unless you hate him. Prancer has lived with a man for six months and still has not accepted him.

He bonds to a woman/women and takes his job of protection seriously. He offers better protection than capital security.

This also extends to other animals. Have other dogs? Cats? Don’t apply unless they like being shaken up like a ragdoll by a 13-pound rage machine.”

Deep breath, please. Tyfanee is nearly done but she still has another shoe to drop.…

“His ideal home would be with a single woman…or a lesbian couple.”

Hello! And because a tale of a torLetters 34 MAY 14, 2021

tured tiny tail-wagger this outrageous story needs a happy ending, enter said lesbian, stage left! Ariel Davis, Connecticut lesbian, jumps into her car, drives to New Jersey, and Prancer finds his forever home and InstaFame @Prancerthechihuahua. I’m telling you, best Lesbian-Avenger-Happily-Ever-After Story of the week, maybe even the month!

And it proves the old adage, there is somebody for everybody. The trick is finding your somebody. And maybe you’ve found your somebody, but you could still be a yenta—a matchmaker—for somebody else.

…best Lesbian-AvengerHappily-Ever-After story of the week, maybe even the month!

The LGBTQ community adopts pets at a much higher rate than the general public. There are lots of thoughts as to why. But the one that sticks with me says it’s because we’re too familiar with being outsiders, understanding what it is to not always be wanted, so if we can make this four-legged (or three-legged!) friend feel wanted, we do.

But maybe we can do a little more and compete for our own LGBTQ-Avenger-Happily-Ever-After title. And cue: Brandywine SPCA needs our help.

The first ask actually seems easy.

We all know CAMP Rehoboth is home to more than one extraordinary photographer and Brandywine needs photographers badly. All locations need help, but if you can spare a day for their Dover or New Castle locations, that would be amazing. Dogs and cats (and people) without good photos do not get asked for meet-and-greets. The new world of online dating is tough. A great photographer might not make that dog or cat the smartest or the best behaved, but a great photo might make them the prettiest, and that would be huge.

The next one might be the most fun.

Brandywine needs foster families. A typical foster stay is in the range of two weeks up to two months. So if you love animals but aren’t sure a long-term commitment suits you right this moment, have they got a deal for you! Remember, puppy kisses cure nearly everything!

And finally, dog walkers and cat socializers are always needed. Lost a few social skills? Cats might be your way back. Still trying to lose a few winter pounds? Walk a dog!

Imagine yourself, as you are exiting our winter of discontent, a new pal leading the way. Whether it’s off to Lewes Unleashed, Gordon’s Pond, a long trail walk, or a spin around Brandywine, our area has a variety of ways to celebrate the return of the season with our new BFFs. Heck, it will even have a CDC stamp of approval.

And who knows, your viral story might happily blow my next column right off course, again!

Delaware remains the only no-kill state in the US. Brandywine Valley SPCA can be found at: bvspca.org. ▼ Stefani Deoul is a television producer and author of the award-winning YA mystery series Sid Rubin Silicon Alley Adventures, with On a LARP, Zero Sum Game, and Say Her Name.

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MAY 14, 2021

35 Letters

LGBTQ+ YA Column

BY GRAYSON PUTMAN

The Power of Deadnames

A

deadname is what most transgender people refer to as their legal or birth names. Not all trans people use this term, in fact some people keep their name the same after transitioning. On the flip side, some non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc. people use the term deadname as well.

Deadnaming is the act of using said deadname to refer to a trans (trans being an umbrella term here) person without their permission. Deadnaming, generally speaking, can be quite harmful and in fact, causes trauma for that person. But this is something that most cisgender people don’t know, realize, or at times acknowledge. The reason is because they don’t understand the power that deadnames hold.

There are two reasons why deadnames hold power. The first is quite simple. For most trans people, their deadname is a secret. We often hold our deadnames under lock and key and hide them from the rest of society. Because of this, we give them (unintentionally) an air of value. If I actively choose to keep my deadname private, then the few people that know my deadname are now part of a rare group.

This causes curiosity in others who will try to find my deadname, actively look for it, ask me what it is, and maybe even ask my family or friends who know. They will want to know because the name now holds value. If I was to actively tell others my deadname without their prompting, then there’s no value to it—it’s just another piece of information about me that everyone knows. But there’s a reason why trans people hold their deadname under lock and key, and that brings me to my second point.

Trauma. Deadnames hold power because they hold a type of trauma for a lot of trans people. And just like not every trans person uses the term deadname, not every trans person has trauma related to it. But it does in my case.

Letters 36 MAY 14, 2021

I can’t speak for others so I’m going to speak from my own personal perspective here. Hearing my deadname brings a sharp shot of pain. It brings with it a lot of dysphoria, and generally just remind-

Every time my deadname is used to refer to me, whether intentional or not, it brings trauma. And that’s why it has power. ers of the fact that I am trans, that my body is still in transition, and that name is still out there to haunt me. It’s trauma.

Every time my deadname is used to refer to me, whether intentional or not, it brings trauma. And that’s why it has power. I use the name Grayson— that is the name I go by, the one I ask everyone around me to use. So the use of my deadname without my permission, without my consent, and accidental or not, is taking the power out of my hands.

And that’s what I think people often struggle to understand. They believe that I go by Grayson out of preference or by request, but that’s not the case. I go by Grayson out of necessity, and to use that name is a requirement that I have for everyone around me. Not most of the time, not some of the time, all of the time.

Deadnames hold power. And if you use one without the consent of the person who owns that name, you are causing harm and even trauma. No matter the circumstance. But, if you actively work to use the name that is requested of you to use (some people refer to this as a chosen name) without ever making a mistake, and if you never

share a deadname without permission, then you are giving that power to the trans person.

Realistically, I should have the power of my deadname in my hands. I should have the ability to always pick and choose when it is shared or used, because it belongs to me. In reality, I don’t always have that power. And that is the problem that most trans people face regularly, and a problem that needs to actively be corrected by everyone around them. ▼

Grayson Putman (he/him) is an openly trans man of Cape Verdean heritage. Putnam is a senior at Saint Michael’s College. He is currently the president of their LGBT+ club on campus, Common Ground.

He’s been involved in the LGBT+ community since high school when he was a part of his high school’s GSA. In 2019 he came out a trans man, and has been transitioning ever since. It’s been a privilege and an honor having Gray be part of CAMP Rehoboth’s YOUTH Up program.

– BARBARA ANTLITZ

BARBARA ANTLITZ, CAMP REHOBOTH YOUTH UP COORDINATOR, works with Genders & Sexualities Alliances (GSAs) in middle and high schools in Kent and Sussex Counties, and with other groups supporting LGBTQ+ youth. Barbara can be reached by email at bantlitz@ camprehoboth.com.

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37 Letters

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39 Letters

A CALL TO PROTECT TRANS STUDENTS

BY MATTY BROWN

Sharing Students’ Stories This is the second installment in a three-part series on the Christina School District’s action to secure the rights, safety, and well-being of transgender students.

E

arlier this year, the Christina School District enacted a policy to protect transgender students within the district’s public schools. It’s a remarkable precedent for change in a state where other districts leave no guidance for students or teachers.

Christina’s step in the right direction also comes at an urgent time. This past month, the ACLU reported an estimated 30 states are considering anti-trans legislation. The various bills look to prohibit healthcare for trans youth, restrict single-sex facilities, exclude trans youth from athletics, and promote religious-based discrimination of LGBTQ folk. Plus, while many districts outside Delaware have guidelines to protect trans students, the First State’s lack of protections leaves room for bullying, inconsistent rules, and insecurity among an already marginalized population.

Three students, who will all remain anonymous, have shared their experiences with Letters. They chose to share their stories to help build empathy and educate the general public.

The first student, who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, graduated from a high school in the Red Clay Consolidated School District.

“There was no policy or guidance for teachers to go off from,” they said.

During the early 2010s’ “It Gets Better” campaign, the student was harassed, and the bullies were essentially expelled. But according to the student, that kind of disciplinary action rarely, if ever, happens. The need for state guidelines to explicitly prohibit bullying and harassment of trans and non-binary students is essential.

Letters 40 MAY 14, 2021

The second student, a senior in high school, is currently in the process of changing his name. Delaware’s practice for changing names as a minor is tedious, but easier to complete than waiting until adulthood. Minors must first submit a proposed name for publication in a local newspaper once a week for three weeks. Then, they must get parental consent before filing a Family Court petition with a number of other documents for a judge can approve.

“We need a top-down, bottom-up approach,” said the graduate of a high school in the Red Clay school district. “These policies are good to refer back to when bullying or harassment happens, but there also needs to be a culture shift.”

Yet, the proliferation of approvals multiply under the bureaucracy of education. “I’m unsure whether my correct name will appear on my diploma,” said the senior, who has tried to see his diploma after hearing that names on the document must match school and legal records. Though graduation should be a joyous time for a senior, the period has been marked with stress and uncertainty.

For the Red Clay graduate, they recalled when their school’s student government confirmed how students’ names would like to be called at graduation. Primarily, this measure was taken to respect English as a Second Language (ESL) students’ choice for using either birth names or an anglicized

version often used in the classrooms.

Trans and non-binary students deserve the same respect.

That lack of respect translates often as misgendering students. As with many major changes, pronouns are going to be a learning curve for some. But to continually and intentionally misgender someone feeds insecurity among trans and gender nonconforming youth.

“My teachers and classmates are good about my name, but not my pronouns,” said a third Delawarean student. As a middle school student, she realized her gender identity was different from her sex assigned at birth at an early age. “I feel like I’m annoying others by correcting,” she said. Often, trans and gender nonconforming students are already experiencing gender dysphoria, a feeling of discomfort that might occur in those whose gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth. Adding microaggressions can further destabilize students.

“Sometimes, it can feel like a lot to correct people,” said the senior student.

“It hurts.”

“There should be a rule against students using birth names,” suggested the middle schooler. Also known as a “deadname,” the name assigned to transgender individuals at birth is offensive to use after a new name is selected.

The policy enacted within Christina School District promotes the privacy and confidentiality of a student’s name.

This means teachers and faculty could use trans students’ birth names with families if the student does not feel safe coming out at home.

Enforcing dress codes is another issue that would benefit from clearer guidelines, according to the students.

“For graduation, guys had to wear navy blue and girls were to wear white,” said the graduate. They and their friends all responded by wearing sky blue in what’s since become a tradition at the school.

The senior related to that experience. “For graduation pictures, non-binary folk are barred from wearing a tux or dress that didn’t match their presentation, because they ‘had to be transitioning,’” he said. Without formal guidelines in place, gender non-conforming students are subject to strict and offensive rules like these.

There is a bias in enforcing dress code violations that disproportionately targets feminine-presenting students versus masculine-presenting students, the senior reported anecdotally. He added, “Trans men are grouped in with the feminine-presenting bias.”

Another concerning issue is access to proper facilities.

“There are no gender-neutral bathrooms,” the senior said about his school. Although the nurse’s office is offered, it’s too difficult for the student to access during and between classes.

Plus, many teachers employ a strict policy to not interrupt class time with bathroom use.

“I have often chosen to just not go to the bathroom,” said the senior. Yet, as pointed out in last issue’s YA Column by Andrea Rashbaum, students “must not be limited to a staff bathroom or a nurse’s facility,” or else the school would violate the case law established in Doe vs. Boyertown. In that case, the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, a federal court with jurisdiction over Delaware, argued in the interest of preventing discrimination against transgender students.

The first statewide push for policy—known as Regulation 225—failed after conservative groups co-opted the momentum in the name of parental consent. Since then, there has been skepticism among the students that new policy will even be enacted. The backlash from the previous push for protections alongside what the students view as “homophobia in the leadership” point to a bigger problem, one that would not be addressed by a local policy change.

“It’s an equity issue,” said Barbara Antlitz, CAMP Rehoboth Youth Coordinator. “It’s deeper; it’s the belief and lack of understanding and sensitivity. It’s discriminating against a group of folks who are already feeling isolated and marginalized. It’s vital to the well-being of our youth that we speak up and out to ensure their voices are heard.”

“We need a top-down, bottom-up approach,” said the graduate of a high school in the Red Clay school district.

“These policies are good to refer back to when bullying or harassment happens, but there also needs to be a culture shift.” ▼ Matty Brown is a gay man, journalist, and Operations Administrator at CAMP Rehoboth. This article was made possible through consultation with Barbara Antlitz, Youth Coordinator of YOUTH Up, CAMP Rehoboth’s youth program.

WARM

DELICIOUS

& MADE-TO-ORDER! THANK YOU TO OUR Heroes 33 WILMINGTON AVE. REHOBOTH BEACH, DE 19971 MAY 14, 2021

41 Letters

Letters 42 MAY 14, 2021

MAY 14, 2021

43 Letters

CAMP REHOBOTH BEACH GUIDE BEACH AREA LODGING Atlantic Sands Hotel, Boardwalk & Baltimore Ave.........................302-227-2511 Atlantis Inn, 154 Rehoboth Ave.....................................................302-227-9446 Breakers Hotel, 105 2nd St & Baltimore Ave.................................302-227-6688 Canalside Inn, 34 6th St.................................................................866-412-2625 Rehoboth Guest House, 40 Maryland Ave.....................................302-227-4117 Sea ‘n Stars Guest Suites, 44 Delaware Ave.................................302-226-2742 Summer Place Hotel, 1st St & Olive Ave........................................302-226-0766 The Shore Inn, 37239 Rehoboth Ave Ext.......................................302-227-8487

LEWES FOOD & DRINK Go Brit, 18388 Coastal Hwy...........................................................302-644-2250 Harbour Waterfront Dining, 134 West Market St...........................302-200-9522 Matt’s Fish Camp, 34401 Tenley Ct...............................................302-644-2267

Visit the Beach Guide Directory on the CAMP Rehoboth website to find links to these area businesses in BOLD. The Guide includes: Food and Wine, Shopping, Lodging, and Services—all at camprehoboth.com.

OTHER AREA FOOD & DRINK Bluecoast Seafood, 1111 Hwy One, Bethany................................302-539-7111 Catch 54, 54 Madison Ave, Fenwick..............................................302-436-8600 Matt’s Fish Camp, 28635 Coastal Hwy, Bethany...........................302-539-2267

SERVICES AT THE BEACH REHOBOTH RETAIL SHOPS New Wave Spas, 20660 Coastal Hwy............................................302-227-8484 Unfinished Business, Rt. 1 behind Panera Bread..........................302-645-8700

REHOBOTH ART | GALLERIES | MUSEUMS Caroline Huff, Fine Artist ...................................................www.carolinehuff.com Gallery 50, 50 Wilmington Ave......................................................302-227-2050 Philip Morton Gallery, 47 Baltimore Ave........................................302-727-0905 Rehoboth Art League, 12 Dodds Ln...............................................302-227-8408 Rehoboth Beach Museum, 511 Rehoboth Ave..............................302-227-7310

REHOBOTH FOOD & DRINK 1776 Steakhouse, Midway Shopping Center................................302-645-9355 Aqua, 57 Baltimore Ave................................................................ 302-226-9001 Back Porch Café, 59 Rehoboth Ave...............................................302-227-3674 Blue Moon, 35 Baltimore Ave........................................................302-227-6515 Café Azafran, 18 Baltimore Ave.....................................................302-227-8100 Café Papillon, Penny Lane Mall......................................................302-227-7568 Coho’s Market & Grill, 305 Rehoboth Ave......................................302-227-2646 Diego’s Bar Nightclub, 37298 Rehoboth Ave................................302-227-1023 Dos Locos, 208 Rehoboth Ave.......................................................302-227-3353 Go Fish, 24 Rehoboth Ave..............................................................302-226-1044 Goolee’s Grille, 11 South 1st St.....................................................302-227-7653 Indigo, 44 Rehoboth Ave.............................................................. 302-212-5220 Just In Thyme, 38163 Robinsons Dr..............................................302-227-3100 Lori’s Café, 39 Baltimore Ave.........................................................302-226-3066 Loves Liquors, LLC, 305c Rehoboth Ave........................................302-227-6966 Lupo Italian Kitchen, 247 Rehoboth Ave.......................................302-226-2240 Penny Lane Liquors, 42 Rehoboth Ave..........................................302-567-5245 Purple Parrot Grill, 134 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-1139 Rigby’s, 404 Rehoboth Ave............................................................302-227-6080 Shorebreak Lodge, 10 Wilmington Ave.........................................302-227-1007 The Pines, 56 Baltimore Avenue....................................................302-567-2726

Letters 44 MAY 14, 2021

BUILDING/CLEANING/REMODELING/LANDSCAPING

A.G. Renovations ...........................................................................302-947-4096 BSD, 18412 The Narrow Rd, Lewes..................................... 302-684-8588 Country Life Homes, 34882 Picnic Basket Ct................................302-231-5001 Randall-Douglas.............................................................................302-245-1439 Ron’s Repairs..................................................................................302-727-3591

CHURCHES/SYNAGOGUES

All Saints’ Episcopal, 18 Olive Ave.................................................302-227-7202 Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd.......................................302-227-7743 Grace of God Lutheran, ELCA, 20689 Shoppes at Long Neck.......302-947-1044 M.C.C. of Rehoboth, 19369 Plantation Rd.....................................302-645-4945 Seaside Jewish Community, 18970 Holland Glade Rd..................302-226-8977 St. Peter’s Episcopal, 2nd & Market Sts, Lewes.............................302-645-8479 Unitarian Universalist, 30486 Lewes-G’Town Hwy........................302-313-5838 Unity of Rehoboth, 98 Rudder Rd, Millsboro.................................717-579-2612 Westminster Presbyterian, 301 King Charles Ave.........................302-227-2109

COMMUNITY RESOURCES

AARP of Delaware (age 50+)..........................................................866-227-7441 ACLU of DE—Lesbian & Gay Civil Rights Project............................302-654-3966 CAMP Rehoboth Chorus—Program of CAMP Rehoboth................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth—LGBTQ Community Service Org........................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Families—LGBTQ parents connect......................302-227-5620 CAMP Rehoboth Parents of Transgender & Gender Non-conforming Children............................................302-227-5620 Cape Henlopen Senior Center—Rehoboth (age 50+)....................302-227-2055 CHEER Centers of Sussex County (age 50+)..................................302-515-3040 Delaware Aging & Disability Resource Center...............................800-223-9074 Delaware Human Relations Commission Housing & public accommodation............................................877-544-8626 Delaware Information Line............................................................................2-1-1 Delaware Pride—Community events, annual Pride Festival..........302-265-3020 Delaware Transgender Resources—transdelaware.net, delawarelgbtq@gmail.com Delaware Transgender Support.....................................................302-402-3033

Gay/Lesbian Alcoholics Anonymous—add’l schedules..................302-856-6452 Saturdays 6 pm: Epworth UMC, 19285 Holland Glade Rd (step meeting) Saturdays 7:30 pm: All Saints’ Church, 18 Olive Ave (step meeting) Tuesdays noon: St. Peter’s Church, 211 Mulberry St, Lewes (step meeting) Thursdays noon: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (open discussion) Sundays 9 am: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (open discussion) Tuesdays 8 pm: CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Ave (Young Persons) Gay Men’s Discussion Group—Program of CAMP Rehoboth.........302-227-5620 Lesbian Support Group—Program of CAMP Rehoboth..................302-227-5620 Lewes Senior Activity Center (age 50+).........................................302-645-9293 LGBTQ Student Union—University of DE, Newark.........................302-831-8066 Meals on Wheels Lewes-Rehoboth................................................302-645-7449 PFLAG-Rehoboth—2nd Tuesdays, Public Library, 111 Adams Ave, Lewes............................................................302-841-1339 SLAA and SAA—Thursdays, 7:30 pm, All Saints’ Church 18 Olive Ave ............................................................................302-745-7929 Social Security Administration—Lewes office................................800-772-1213 TransLiance of DE—Rehoboth—4th Tuesdays at 7 pm, MCC of Rehoboth; contact: TransLiance@gmail.com

INSURANCE

COUNSELING/THERAPY/LIFE COACH

PET RETAIL

Jewish Family Services........................................................ 302-478-9411 Karen Abato, ATR-BC, LPAT, Licensed Art Psychotherapist... 302-232-5330 Kevin J. Bliss, Personal/Professional Coaching.............................302-754-1954 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting, Lewes ............................302-574-6954

EVENT PLANNING/CATERING

Flair................................................................................................302-930-0709 Palate Bistro & Catering.................................................................302-249-8489 Plate Catering.................................................................................302-644-1200

FINANCIAL SERVICES

Bell Rock Capital, 19606 Coastal Hwy..........................................302-227-7608 Black Diamond Financial Solutions,19409 Plantation Rd..............302-265-2236 Community Pride Financial............................................................302-227-2939 County Bank, 19927 Shuttle Rd.......................................... 302-226-9800 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley.........................................................302-644-6620

FLORISTS

Bayberry Florist..............................................................................302-227-5725 Windsor’s Florist, 20326 Coastal Hwy...........................................302-227-9481

FUNERAL SERVICES

Parsell Funeral Homes & Crematorium................................ 302-645-9520

HAIR SALONS/TATTOO & PIERCING

Beach Cuts, 214 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-226-ROBB Gregory Meyers Hair Studio, 20245 Bay Vista Rd & Rt 1..............302-727-5331 Stephan & Co Salon & Spa, 19266 Coastal Hwy................... 302-260-9478

HEALTH-RELATED

AIDS Delaware – Kent & Sussex Counties.....................................302-226-3519 AIDS Delaware – New Castle County............................................302-652-6776 AIDS Hotline – Delaware statewide...............................................800-422-0429 Brandywine Urology Consultants...................................................302-824-7039 Beebe Healthcare, 26744 J.J. Williams Hwy.................................302-645-3300 CAMPsafe AIDS education & prevention program of CAMP Rehoboth ..................................................................................................302-227-5620 Christiana Care HIV Wellness Clinic ..............................................302-933-3420 Christiana Care LGBTQ Health Initiatives.......................................302-733-1227 Delaware HIV Consortium - Statewide..........................................302-654-5471 Delaware Hospice..........................................................................800-838-9800 Delaware Total Foot & Ankle Center.................................... 302-297-8431 National Alliance on Mental Illness of DE (NAMI)...........................302-427-0787 Rehoboth Beach Dental, 19643 Blue Bird Ln....................... 302-226-0300 Steven B. Wright, D.M.D., 18912 J.J. Williams Hwy............. 302-645-6671 The Aesthetic Center......................................................................302-827-2125

Eric Blondin, State Farm...................................................... 302-644-3276 George Bunting, State Farm................................................ 302-227-3891 Jeanine O’Donnell, State Farm............................................ 302-645-7283

LEGAL/ACCOUNTING/TRUST SERVICES

Lawson Firm, 402 Rehoboth Ave...................................................302-226-3700 PWW Law, 1519 Savannah Rd, Lewes.......................................... 302-703-6993 Steven Falcone CPA, Taxes & Planning..........................................302-644-8634

LOCKSMITHS

Rock Lock/Robin Rohr/Your Community Locksmith.......................302-386-9166

MASSAGE THERAPY/FITNESS

Midway Fitness & Racquetball, Midway Center.............................302-645-0407 One Spirit Massage, 169 Rehoboth Ave........................................302-226-3552 Rehoboth Massage/Alignment.......................................................302-727-8428

OUTDOOR LIGHTING

Allure Outdoor Lighting, allureoutdoorlighting.com......................302-226-2532 Critter Beach, 156 Rehoboth Ave..................................................302-226-2690 Pet Portraits by Monique................................................................717-650-4626

PET SERVICES

Brandywine Valley SPCA, 22918 Dupont Blvd, G’twn.......... 302-856-6361 Delaware Humane Association, 18675 Coastal Hwy........... 302-200-7159 Parsell Pet Crematorium, 16961 Kings Hwy, Lewes............ 302-645-7445

REAL ESTATE

Allen Jarmon, NextHome Tomorrow Realty...................................302-745-5122 Bill Peiffer, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy....................302-703-6987 Chris Beagle, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave............302-227-6101 Debbie Reed Team, 319 Rehoboth Ave.........................................800-263-5648 Donna Whiteside, Berkshire Hathaway, 16712 Kings Hwy...........302-381-4871 Eric Atkins, Patterson-Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-727-1456 Hugh Fuller, Realtor........................................................................302-745-1866 John Black, Patterson Schwartz, 18958 Coastal Hwy...................302-703-6987 Lana Warfield, Berkshire Hathaway, 37230 Rehoboth Ave...........302-227-6101 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, 16698 Kings Hwy....................... 302-645-6664 Lingo Realty, 246 Rehoboth Ave....................................................302-227-3883 McGuiness Group, 246 Rehoboth Ave...........................................302-227-3883 Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Lingo Realty................................302-227-3883 Sea Bova Associates, 20250 Coastal Hwy........................... 302-227-1222 Troy Roberts, Mann & Sons, 414 Rehoboth Ave............................302-228-7422

RETIREMENT LIVING/SENIOR CARE FACILITIES

Springpoint Choice, 17028 Cadbury Cir, Lewes............................302-313-6658 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead, 36233 Farm Ln.................. 302-232-6372

TRAVEL & TRANSPORTATION

Accent On Travel, 37156 Rehoboth Ave.............................. 302-278-6100 CHEER Transportation (age 50+)....................................................302-856-4909 ITN Southern Delaware (age 60+ or disabled)...............................302-448-8486 Jolly Trolley Shuttle from Rehoboth Ave & Boardwalk...................302-644-0400 Olivia Travel...........................................................800-631-6277 ext. 696

POPULAR LGBTQ BEACHES

Poodle Beach, south end of the Rehoboth Boardwalk Cape Henlopen State Park, Ocean Dr north to Cape Henlopen State Park. Daily parking rate in effect March-November

MAY 14, 2021

45 Letters

Visiting View Guest Column

BY ANTHONY MOLL

Reconsidering “Service”

I

n February 2002, 162 days after the attacks in New York and DC, 2,915 days into the discriminatory policy known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and a little over two years after I came out as bisexual, I enlisted in the US Army.

I did so with a mix of familiar and naïve reasons: money for college, escaping poverty, belief in a certain story about America. I enlisted both because I believed in the idea of “service” and because I saw the benefits of it.

Though I don’t like to admit it when I’m talking to young people, the truth is that it changed my life.

I grew up there, the way some people “find themselves” on college campuses. My first time with a man was in the army. I was able to pay for two undergraduate degrees and a masters of fine art using programs for service members and veterans.

My experience as a queer soldier (and an anti-war punk) enlisted during “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was the material that grew into my first book, which won some awards and helped get me my dream job.

So why am I the type of veteran who tells young people not to join the military?

To start, enlistment in the army showed me what the army was. As they espoused the value of integrity, they asked me, for eight years, to lie about who I was. As they promised respect and comradery, I heard the military leaders around me talk about the violence they thought that LGBTQ+ soldiers deserved. Don’t get me wrong: there were good folks around me too, queer folks and allies and people who were somewhere in between. There were lovers. Chosen family. The full spectrum. Good people join, and many do so for good reasons. The military is a microcosm of the nation, both its decency and its ugliness.

It is also violent.

Not just personal violence either. It can be easy to forget that all militaries are tools of violence.

During those first two decades of the millennium, Americans shared a rhetoric of patriotism and service that painted the American soldier as a Captain America figure, a shield defending what is right in the world. If we talked about death, we usually talked about “the sacrifice they made for us,” and not

It’s important that we speak clearly and honestly about what joining the military really means. This too is breaking the silence of “don’t tell.”

Letters 46 MAY 14, 2021

of the half-million dead from the “War on Terror.” For me, it was two close comrades, one lost to a roadside bomb and another to suicide. I’m not exceptional in this, though. These wars punched holes in countless families in the US, Iraq, Afghanistan, and in nations across the globe.

There is also the violence that isn’t talked about enough: intimate partner violence, military sexual assault, the biggest polluter on the planet, racism in the ranks, colonialism, rates of homelessness and mental health crises among veterans.

This September will mark 10 years since President Obama and a Democratic-led Congress dismantled “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Just this April, President Biden completed the groundwork laid by his former boss and officially allowed open service—and potentially transition-related care—for transgender Americans.

I’d love to celebrate this as a victory for our community, but I cannot do so without considering the last 20 years of war.

Just as there was a decade ago, there is a conversation taking place in our communities about whether and how we should celebrate access to dangerous institutions. How do we make sense of the fact that the ability to enlist may mean access to life-saving care for countless transgender Americans without also considering how this will be used as a recruiting tool that will send more transgender folks to war?

Sometime in the last few years, I decided to make the conscious effort to stop using the term “service” when discussing my time in the military. It is hard to retrain the tongue to find new language for how I spent the first decade of my adulthood. But it’s important that we speak clearly and honestly about what joining the military really means. This too is breaking the silence of “don’t tell.”

In doing so, I must acknowledge that the military changed my life—that it has changed, and will change, the lives of countless LGBTQ+ comrades.

However, after 20 years of war, none of us should continue to pretend that doing this job is some sacrosanct role. It is a complicated decision that countless Americans will make based on morality, identity, body, desire, opportunity, and yes, violence. ▼ Anthony Moll is a queer writer and educator. Their debut memoir, Out of Step, won a 2019 Lambda Literary Award and the 2017 Non/Fiction Prize. It is now available from The Ohio State University Press. Follow them at @ anthonywmoll.

MAY 14, 2021

47 Letters

Letters 48 MAY 14, 2021

SPEND YOUR SUMMER AT THE Y! It’s all included - Pools, child care, basketball gyms, group exercise classes & more! We’re here to help you stay active and healthy while keeping you safe. Stop in and check out all our health and safety measures to ensure a comfortable workout.

JOIN TODAY! www.ymcade.org Sussex Family YMCA | 20080 Church Street, Rehoboth, DE 19971 Financial assistance is available.

MAY 14, 2021

49 Letters

Visiting View Guest Column

BY CLARENCE FLUKER

Lil Nas X Manifests the Dream

O

ne of my favorite pastimes as a teenager was snooping through my sibling’s room. It was a new adventure each time. I never knew what I’d discover.

The summer before my senior year of high school, while thumbing through my sister’s bookcase, I came across a book that would significantly change my life and how I perceived myself and the world around me.

There was a book on the shelf that I’d never seen, written by an author I’d never heard of. The book was Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris. I picked it up and randomly selected a page to skim. I couldn’t put the book down. Black gay and bisexual characters living ordinary lives, with careers, families, and romantic pursuits. I’d never read anything like it. In fact, I didn’t even know that literature like that existed.

Written by a Black gay man. To me it was extraordinary.

I read as much as I could that day and placed it back on the shelf before she arrived back home. For the next two days, whenever I was home alone, I’d return to her room to read more until I’d finished the book. Then I combed her shelves for more. There was another E. Lynn Harris novel and two books written by James Earl Hardy, B-Boy Blues and 2nd Time Around. It was the ‘90s and ample access to stories and visuals about the lives of Black LGBTQ+ people were not common—particularly those shaped by us and not through the narrow lenses of others.

In college, with a new world opening to me through the internet, I was able to become familiar with an even broader range of voices, like Essex Hemphill. In addition to the voices through written words, I was drawn to the visuals of the groundbreaking films of Marlon Riggs.

Seeing Tongues Untied and Black Is… Black Ain’t are two of the most influential experiences of my development.

Those explorations of Black gay and same gender loving identity were authentic, thought-provoking, nuanced, diverse, and freeing. Defining yourself for yourself was radical then and now. The journeys Letters 50 MAY 14, 2021

of those men gave me permission and offered a light to guide a path for my own journey to freedom and self-expression— just as I am. I give thanks and honor the elders and ancestors who came before me. I also smile widely seeing how their spirit lives on and moves through modern creators.

His artistic expression and public exploration of his sexuality, fighting stigma and shame and owning his body and presence as a Black gay man reminded me of the work of the elders and ancestors.

In December 2018, the internet personality Lil Nas X released the country rap song “Old Town Road.” The song eventually went viral and became one of the biggest hits of 2019. A young Black man was taking the world by storm with a song that mixed music from what most would consider very opposite ends of musical, social, and political spectrums.

“Old Town Road” garnered him awards from BET, MTV, Billboard, Apple Music, Teen Choice, American Music

Awards, and the Grammys. His fan base and Twitter following grew by the millions.

He catapulted to international fame. In 2019, on the last day of Pride Month, he used the very social media platform that jumpstarted his musical career to invite the world in and share that he was gay.

Since then, as an artist and high-profile social media influencer, he’s been freely expressing himself, sparking conversations around gender, sexuality, race, and the everyday experiences of people of his generation. He shares his whole self with the world and we’re fortunate, at all age levels, to have him help broaden the lens through which we see Black LGBTQ+ people and create social, cultural, and political reference points for those who’ll follow.

This spring he released his much-anticipated new single “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name),” with an accompanying video that explored identity, queer themes, and the duality of masculinity and femininity. All art is subjective; some people praised the song and video, while others were particularly disturbed by the music video which uses religious symbolism and includes a moment when Lil Nas X gives the devil a lap dance.

His artistic expression and public exploration of his sexuality, fighting stigma and shame and owning his body and presence as a Black gay man reminded me of the work of the elders and ancestors. On the largest platforms ever created, he was doing what others had done before him and others will continue to do, boldly. A bit of Essex, a bit of Marlon, a bit of Sylvester, and all of his own powerful and playful style, Lil Nas X is perhaps his ancestors’ wildest dream. ▼ Clarence J. Fluker is a public affairs and social impact strategist. Since 2008, he’s also been a contributing writer for Swerv, a lifestyle periodical celebrating African American LGBTQ+ culture and community. Follow him on Twitter: @CJFluker or Instagram: Mr_CJFluker.

Giving back is my way of saying “Thank you.”

George Bunting Jr, Agent 19716 Sea Air Ave #1 Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 Bus: 302-227-3891 george@gbunting.com

1211006

We’re all in this together.

State Farm® has a long tradition of being there. That’s one reason why I’m proud to support Camp Rehoboth.

Get to a better State®.

State Farm, Bloomington, IL MAY 14, 2021

51 Letters

THIS WHOLE MONTH OF JUNE!

IN PARTNERSHIP WITH QUEER QUEENS OF QOMEDY Stand-Up Comedy Show Friday, June 4 - 5:30pm & 8pm THE BOY BAND PROJECT

NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Hanson, One Direction, 98 Degrees, and more!

Wednesday, June 9 - 7:30pm

MAMA'S BLACK SHEEP Quayside@Nite Thursday, June 10 - 7pm MAGNOLIA APPLEBOTTOM Pride Drag Show Friday, June 11 - 8pm 33 1/3 LIVE’S KILLER QUEEN EXPERIENCE: The Best of Queen!

Saturday, June 12 - 3pm & 8pm

80's PROM DANCE PARTY DJ Jamie Fox Sunday, June 13 - 7pm JULIA SCOTTI Stand-Up Comedy Friday, June 18 - 8pm FROM STONEWALL TO NOW Presented by Mona Lotts Sunday, June 20 - 8pm THE JUDY AND BARBRA SHOW Summer Orlando as Judy Garland Barbra Joan Streetsand as Barbra Streisand

Saturday, June 26 - 8pm

Letters 52 MAY 14, 2021

ENTERTAINMENT MINUTES FROM THE BEACHES! May 20 - SCRAPPLE: Quayside@Nite / 7PM May 27 - LOWER CASE BLUES: Quayside@Nite / 7PM May 28 - THERE ARE STILL THINGS TO LAUGH ABOUT (Comedy) / 8PM May 30 - MEMORIAL DAY PICNIC & DANCE PARTY: Quayside@Nite / 7PM June 3 - ALICIA MAXWELL PROJECT: Quayside@Nite / 7PM June 4 - QUEER QUEENS OF QOMEDY (Comedy) / 5:30 & 8PM AUNT MARY PAT DISABATINO June 5 - HIGH NOON: Lynyrd Skynyrd Tribute / 8PM Internet Comedy Sensation!

June 6 - BACK TO BROADWAY: Jordan Wolfe & Michelle Dowdy / 7PM May 21 - Friday - 8PM June 9 - THE BOY BAND PROJECT / 7:30PM June 10 - MAMA'S BLACK SHEEP: Quayside@Nite / 7PM June 11 - MAGNOLIA APPLEBOTTOM: Drag Show / 8PM June 12 - 33 1/3 LIVE'S KILLER QUEEN EXPERIENCE: Queen Tribute 3PM & 8PM June 13 - 80'S PROM DANCE PARTY: DJ Jamie Fox / 7PM June 17 - HOT BREAKFAST: Quayside@Nite / 7PM June 18 - JULIA SCOTTI: Stand-Up Comedy / 8PM THE MUSIC OF SIMON & GARFUNKEL Swearingen & Kelli May 22 - Saturday - 8PM

KATHIE MARTIN & THE HOT RODS

May 23 - Sunday - 7PM

Milton Pride 2021 is happening! Check out our website for all the fun PRIDE events coming this June. For sponsorship options, email marketing@miltontheatre.com

For more information on tickets, show details, and full events calendar go to:

PARROTBEACH

Jimmy Buffet Tribute May 29 - Saturday - 3PM & 8PM

www.MILTONTHEATRE.com 302.684.3038 110 Union St. Milton, DE

MAY 14, 2021

53 Letters

Dining Out

BY FAY JACOBS

Mood Indigo

R

INDIGO

44 Rehoboth Ave Rehoboth Beach, DE (302) 212-5220 indigorehoboth.com

Letters 54 MAY 14, 2021

ehoboth Beach cuisine has come a long way, baby, since it was all pizza, fried seafood, and saltwater taffy.

In addition to some mighty fine pizza, seafood, and candy stores harkening to the past, there’s been an explosion of delicious ethnic foods at area restaurants. These would be at home in urban foodie hubs as well as here at the beach.

Recently, I visited Indigo, in Indian restaurant on the ocean block of Rehoboth Avenue, for a delightful dining experience and an introduction to some marvelous dishes.

The restaurant is a spacious spot with booths along a long storefront, and tables in the back as well. With its COVID restrictions and procedures, it feels very safe indeed.

From the jeweled sconces on the walls and the wood panel décor, to the soft Indian music, the space says, “we’re not near the boardwalk anymore, Toto.” And the white-aproned staff provides friendly, welcoming, and really excellent service.

Indigo offers bar service of beer and wine, so we started off with two ice-cold Stella’s and an appetizer of Shrimp Pakora—crispy fried shrimp marinated in sour cream and herbs. It’s a street snack in many parts of India and proved a terrific starter for us.

From there, we studied the menu, which offered many chicken, lamb, and seafood dishes, a very large selection of vegetarian and vegan entrees, and India’s traditional tandoor oven cooking.

The tandoor oven is generally a cylindrical clay pot or even metal pot, heated by a charcoal or wood fire, burning within the tandoor itself at a very high temperature. Contemporary tandoors can be heated electrically as well.

For our meal we enjoyed the Lamb Rogan Josh— lamb cooked in onion sauce, with yogurt, almonds, cream, and spices. It was deliciously spicy but not so hot as to be uncomfortable. The accompanying garlic naan was great with it, along with basmati rice and chickpeas (served with most entrees).

Our second selection was the signature Chicken Tikka Masala—chicken pieces broiled in the tandoor, then cooked in garlic, tomatoes, onion, and

spices. It was also a wonderful combination with basmati rice and beer.

From the exotic Indian specialty entrees to the tandoor kebabs there is something for every taste at

From the jeweled sconces on the walls and the wood panel décor, to the soft Indian music, the space says “we’re not near the boardwalk anymore, Toto.”

Indigo. I’m anxious to return to sample some of the fish dishes as well as the other breads, leavened and unleavened, that they offer. There are also soups, including the Chicken Shorba—traditional Indian soup with chicken, lemon and coconut—and the Dal Shorba.

Some of the intriguing entrees offered include Gosht Vindaloo—lamb pieces and potatoes cooked in curry and Shrimp Biryani—an East Indian rice dish cooked with shrimp. Biryani is served throughout India as well as Iraq, Iran, and Afghanistan.

A cooling dessert is perfect after all the flavors and spices making up an Indigo dinner. We had the Kheer—a cardamom-flavored rice pudding, chilled and sweet. They also have Gaijar Halwa (carrot pudding), Gulab Jaman (a light pastry), and ice cream— both Kulfi, an Indian treat made from thickened milk with almonds and pistachios, and traditional Rehoboth Beach chocolate and vanilla.

As for the beverages at Indigo, diners are happy to find Dogfish Head beer as well as several others, bottled or draught. There are also chai teas, a yogurt drink called Lassi (sweet or salty), or Indian tea.

Since we cannot travel for a while, try a trip to Indigo at 44 Rehoboth Avenue. Or order a carry-out.

It’s an exciting part of Delaware’s contemporary culinary coast. ▼ Fay Jacobs is the author five published books of humor and LGBTQ advocacy essays. Her new book, Big Girls Don’t Fry, will be published next winter.

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55 Letters

HISTORICAL HEADLINERS

BY ANN APTAKER

Oh! Those Lusty Ancient Romans!

G

olden Age Hollywood’s countless “sword-and-sandal” what would become the city of Rome, Virgil had a more sensual movies have usually depicted the ancient Roman and romantic side. His “Ecologue II” sings of unrequited love for male as either a shield-wielding soldier conquering a beautiful young man, and begins thus: “The shepherd Corydon every little tribe in Rome’s path, or a toga-wearing ora- burned for his handsome Alexis.” Later in the poem, poor Cotor mansplaining everything to everyone in earshot, or another rydon even goes on to say, “You drive me to my death.” Ah yes, toga-wearing guy hatching devious schemes to cut throats or dying for love. Shakespeare and countless Italian operas have poison relatives to achieve political power. milked that drama for centuries.

And after all that soldiering, orating, and And finally in our little tour of Roman scheming, they’d banquet on couches and homoerotic poetry, we come to Albius get good and drunk while watching a female Tibullus (55 BCE-19 BCE). Not much is dance around wearing nothing much more known of Tibullus’s life. We do know he was than bangle bracelets and a bit of sheer. member of the landed gentry, complete Here and there, these Hollywood epics with a country villa, but he lost his lands alluded to a different taste in sexual desire; (though was able to keep his house) in the Laurence Olivier’s “snails or oysters” speech upheavals caused by the frictions between to a half-naked Tony Curtis in the movie Marc Antony and Octavius, the latter soon Spartacus comes to mind. becoming Rome’s first emperor, Augustus. In But if Hollywood minimized homoerotiany event, two of Tibullus’s books of poetry cism in the ancient word, the Romans themare extant, with two others doubtful in their selves did not. Their poets sang its praises, attribution. The first book contains the “Masometimes as beautiful love poems, someranthus Cycle,” poems of homoerotic desire.

Tibullus gets pretty explicit right Tibullus gets pretty explicit right away, times as lusty, almost pornographic verses.

Not much was taboo for high-born or asking the god Priapus, god of male virility, away, asking the god Priapus, prominent Roman men. Take, for example, for advice in winning the young Maranthus: god of male virility, for advice in Quintus Lutatius Catulus (149 BCE-87 BCE), “Priapus, what skill of yours captivates winning the young Maranthus: respected general, Consul of the Roman lovely lads?” Note, the poet does not ask Republic, an orator and author admired by Venus, goddess of love, or her son Cupid “Priapus, what skill of yours no less than the likes of Pliny and Cicero. for assistance in winning his heart’s desire. captivates lovely lads?

Catulus was fond of the Hellenistic Greek He asks the deity known for an enormous form of short, highly personal poems known male member for help in fulfilling his sexual as epigrams. He adopted this form, bringing desire. it into the repertoire of Roman poetry. Of Catulus’s two extant In our current climate of hyper-awareness of sexual do’s and epigrams, one of them, “With Looks And Hands, A Satyr Courts don’t’s, what was acceptable in ancient Rome would be considA Boy,” well, the title alone might cause 21st century blue-noses ered problematic today. There was no taboo regarding younger to suffer the vapors. Pliny and Cicero, though, evidently thought men having relations with older ones. The poetry created by it was just swell.

Catulus, Catullus, Virgil, and Tibullus was therefore honest for Not to be confused with the Catulus just mentioned, Gaius its time. These poets, and the Roman populace generally, felt Valerius Catullus (84 BCE-54 BCE) remains one of the most wide- no need to cloak their desires in hidden meanings and teasing ly read of ancient Rome’s poets, an important figure in university language. Until the Christian period, decreed by the emperor poetry classes. Though a number of his ardent love poems are in Constantine in 313 CE, Roman society accepted that art was free praise of a woman named Clodia Metelli (whom he called Lesbia, to express every element of human experience, including sexual but had nothing to do with lesbianism. Drat!), Catullus wrote desire in all its forms. Sex between men was worthy of poetry. homoerotic poems as well. Poem 48 is a striking example, which Say what we will about ancient Rome—and there’s plenty to begins, “Your honeyed eyes, Juventius, if one should let me go say for both good and ill—Roman erotic poetry, like life in Rome in kissing still, I would kiss them three hundred thousand times,” itself, was not for the timid. But then, great art never is. ▼ and ends with “…if the harvest of our kissing were thicker than the ripe ears of corn.”

Ann Aptaker’s Cantor Gold crime/mystery series has won Lambda That’s some harvest.

Literary and Goldie Awards. Her short stories appear in numerous Among Rome’s most famous poets is Publius Virgilius Maro, publications and anthologies. known to every student who’s had to plow through his post-Trojan War epic, The Aeneid, as Virgil. Mighty as that epic is, with its Photo by Simone Pellegrini on Unsplash story of the Trojan hero Aeneas’s ordeals and eventual arrival in Letters 56 MAY 14, 2021

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MAY 14, 2021

57 Letters

Visiting View Guest Column

BY RENÉE BESS

A Grave State of Being

O

ne afternoon eons ago, my adolescent self arrived at my dentist’s office and buckled up for a routine examination. The dentist began his twice-a-year probe, then paused and launched into a lecture lauding the many benefits of the Pritikin Plan Diet. He credited the fat- and cholesterol-free regimen with banishing all the symptoms of heart disease that had begun paying him visits.

In the midst of evaluating each of my pearly whites, he posed a question.

“Do you know why Black people have such a high rate of hypertension and cardiovascular illness?”

I didn’t attempt to respond because my mouth was filled with the hydrator, a couple of those log-shaped absorbent mini-pillows, and the little vacuum that periodically sounds like it’s snoring as it sucks up the liquid from the hydrator.

No matter. He knew the answer.

“It’s dietary,” he stated. “They eat too many fried foods.”

Two thoughts struck me as I willed my right eyebrow into an arch of skepticism.

First, why did he say they to my brown face? Was it his attempt to sound less accusatory by separating me from everyone else in my race? Second, my mother never fried anything. She always prepared and served us healthy, balanced meals. She modeled a nutritional habit which I practice to this very day. Sure, she always provided us dessert, and certainly I practice that every day as well. But she did not fry meat, vegetables, fish, eggs, bread.

Nada.

Geneticists propose that our enslaved ancestors’ physical and emotional defenses to the inhumane conditions of the middle passage and enslavement caused changes in our DNA. These changes, one of which is the body’s tendency to store sodium, have been passed on from one generation to the next.

A few springs after my enlightening dental visit, the Rev. Martin Luther King,

Letters 58 MAY 14, 2021

Jr. was assassinated. The sorrow I felt as I watched his televised funeral and the anger that arose within me as I watched the coverage of cities on fire brought me a flash of insight. I realized why so many of us experience cardiovascular

I realized that some of our

bodies give in to hypertension as the price we pay to approach normalcy in a world where we are not treated as normal.

That is decidedly not normal.

issues and why some of us begin our journey to heart disease before we’ve entered adulthood. I realized that some of our bodies give in to hypertension as the price we pay to approach normalcy in a world where we are not treated as normal. That is decidedly not normal.

That said, I’m aware that the cost of hypertension is cheap compared to the price paid by: Fred Hampton, Oscar Grant, Daunte Wright, Lt. Caron Nazario, Philando

Castille, Sandra Bland, Jordan Davis, Rayshard Brooks, Rev. Clementa C. Pickney, Corey Jones, Elijah McClain, Tamir Rice, Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Stephen Clark, Bothan Jean, Atatiana Jefferson, John Crawford, Tshyrand Oates, Ahmaud Arbery, Christian Cooper, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Jacob Blake, Daniel Prude, Aura Rosser, Alton Sterling, Freddie Gray, Tanisha Fonville, Eric Garner, Akai Gurley, Tanisha Anderson, Tyree Davis, D’ovion Perkins, William Howard Green, Jaquyn O. Light, Kevin Aldphe, Etonne Tanzymore, Tommie Dale McGlothen, Jr., Desmond Franklin, Kanisha Fuller, Steven D. Taylor, Joel Acevedo, Joshua Johnson, Jonas Joseph, Rumain Brisbon, Eric Harris, Walter Scott, Adam Toledo…and all the others whose names we do not know, whose blue-bullet-riddled souls floated off into the cosmos as we swallowed more meds to lower our collective blood pressure. And all the others who will pay the life-ending price for Derek Chauvin’s conviction.

What must we do, and how must we do it?

I’ll appreciate all suggestions. ▼ Renée Bess is the author of five novels and the co-story collector of the GCLS 2019 awardwinning anthology, Our Happy Hours: LGBT Voices from the Gay Bars. She is one of four recipients of the 2019 Alice B. Readers Award.

Her newest book, Between a Rock and a Soft Place, was selected as February 2021’s Book of the Month by “I Heart Lesfic.” See more at: reneebess.com. ©Renée Bess 2021

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59 Letters

CAMPshots

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

Let the Season Begin!

THIS PAGE: 1) at the CAMP Rehoboth Women’s FEST Art Exhibit: Exum Art. 2) at CAMP Rehoboth Handmade Market: Jan H., Terry K., Sarge W., Linda M., Diane S., Yona Zucker, Jim Mease, Kim Schilpp, Dawn Kasow, Mary Jenkins, Ann Garvey, Laura Reitman, Sue Shollenberger, ‘Beave’ Bievenour, Linda Wieser, Nancy Commisso, Linda Kemp, Deb Knickerbocker.

OPPOSITE PAGE: 3) at the Broadwalk on the Boardwalk: Meredith Rothstern, Howard Rothstern, Muriel Hogan, Lois Harris Powell, Sharon Bembry, Kathy Wiz. 4) at Aqua: Matthew Stensrud, Brent Quinn, Dave Lyons, Michael Cohen, Clark Fennimore, Michael Fishman, Brad Benkoski, Kevin McDuffie, David Franco, Samer Alhawamdeh, Keith Long, Rick Hardy, Dan Kyle, Peter Rosenstein, Wes Combs, Marvin Miller. 5) at Diego’s: Michael Maloon, Michael Dick, Darryl Ciarlante-Zuber, Ron Strevig, Jason Padua, Anthony Marshall, Doug Earp, Helena Earp, Eddie Adam, Cory Tiger, Alyssa Ramirez, Alex D., Yaleimie Pagan.

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Letters 60 MAY 14, 2021

(More CAMPshots on page 78)

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MAY 14, 2021

61 Letters

Straight Talk

BY DAVID GARRETT

Shaking the Gates of Heaven

W

ith apologies to two Johns, those being Wesley and Archibald, the title of a riveting book by John Archibald has been changed to highlight a new challenge. More on that later. John A. quoted John W., “Give me one hundred preachers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God...such alone will shake the gates of hell.”

In the 290 pages of this biography/autobiography/narrative of the 1960s and 1970s civil rights movement, John Archibald shares the struggle of preachers, United Methodist and others, to address the elephant in the room. Along the way in this narrative, we learn about John’s childhood, the role his siblings played in his life, and the frustration he felt about his father’s preaching.

John was the last of four children born a son and grandson of Methodist preachers, raised in Alabama. For someone who was told by his religious father never to say “Gosh darn,” John eloquently uses the English language.

Readers of John’s book, Shaking the Gates of Hell, will come to know and love this PK (preacher’s kid).

As difficult as his book is to put down, there is no single thread drawing the reader into this narrative. Rather, there are multiple ideas that weave a wellspun tale of love, laughter, bombings, and death. How all of them come together is part of the wonder of John Archibald’s Pulitzer Prize-winning writing.

This author shares tales of his family. Church campgrounds, unexpected pastoral appointments in new towns, brothers who hide babies in barrels, and funerals to keep alive the legacies of those who taught them to fly fish or respect all people everywhere. The barrel story features John’s oldest sibling, Murray. (You may have heard of him!) He was the director of a play in which then-infant John was placed in a barrel, unaware that he was portraying Baby New Year. Murray played the father, out to keep himself young forever by hiding John for good. “As long as I have the Baby New Year locked safely away in this barrel, I will remain young and beautiful forever!” It was then that their actual father came up on stage and rescued John from certain demise from deep in the barrel.

As John tells it, “everything Murray has ever done has been a production.” Having witnessed the creation and demolition of numerous Sundance festivals in Rehoboth, there is no doubt that Murray’s creative juices still flow freely.

John shares tales of Martin Luther King, Jr., and the civil rights movement. One of King’s greatest frustrations was that white folk were not listening and speaking against the

injustices played out in front of them each day. Per Archibald, “there are moments when you can say more in silence than you can ever say in words. There are other moments, though, when the world requires a voice.” Later, he admits that “most whites in the South did nothing. They looked away. Looked away. Looked away, Dixieland.”

John shares tales of bombings. “Most people think Birmingham got its nickname, ‘Bombingham,’ after four little girls were killed in an explosion.... But that’s not true. As many as forty bombs...exploded across the city between the end of World War II and the Sixteenth Street blast in 1963.”

John would only learn more about this later in life, as school curriculum was as segregated as lunch counters, buses, and churches.

John shares tales of death. Those of his own father, Robert, his mother, Mary, and Murray’s husband, Steve, MLK, and Bobby Kennedy. If you want to know how obituaries should be written, read the ones John wrote for his parents and for Steve Elkins.

Above all, John writes about life and living in the midst of prejudice and violence. He relates being with Murray in Norfolk when his brother was publicly harassed. “Be a river rock,” [Murray] said. “Let everything else wash over you.” John reflects, “The river is a constant. It tells our stories as much as we tell them ourselves. It is life and death and beauty and grime and truth. Ugly, dirty, beautiful persistent truth.”

If we are encouraged by John Wesley to shake the gates of hell in order to confront sin, let us also rise to the occasion and shake the gates of heaven in order to demand salvation.

Salvation for our souls. Salvation for our brothers and sisters of color, for our kindred LGBTQ souls, and for all who are disenfranchised.

Near the book’s end, John writes, “Life is arbitrary, and random, and requires a sense of purpose just to take the good with the bad, and the bad with the good. It’s not fair. It is not heaven. But I’m convinced one often follows the other, and for some reason that gives me hope.” Let hope abound as we shake the gates of heaven. ▼

“There are moments when you can say more in silence than you can ever say in words. There are other moments, though, when the world requires a voice.”

Letters 62 MAY 14, 2021

David Garrett, a CAMP Rehoboth Board member, is a straight advocate for equality and inclusion. He is also the proud father of an adult trans daughter. Email David Garrett at dlgarrett4rb@gmail.com.

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63 Letters

Q Puzzle Teen Angst

Solution on Page 84 ACROSS 1 One of the Three Bears 5 Puts it to 9 Peters out 13 East of Eden brother 14 Warm to a come-on 15 Kind of stimulation 16 Go on and on 17 Georgia spread on the screen 18 “Climb ___ Mountain” 19 Angela portrayer in 34-Across 22 Prey for chicken hawks?

23 Ed Wood Best Supporting Actor Martin 27 Supported 30 Chicago Sky’s conference 31 Peter I, for one 32 Sommer of film 33 Pick up 34 TV series of the ‘90s about teen angst 38 Gay history mo.

39 Etheridge’s “Don’t Look ___” 40 Persian Gulf land 41 Everest guides 43 “Who’s on First?” straight man 45 Men’s Gay Chorus section 46 Infant, to Marga Gomez 47 Rickie portrayer in 34-Across 51 Call from Dave Pallone

Letters 64 MAY 14, 2021

54 Personal lubricant ingredient 55 De novo 57 Gomer’s “Encore!”

58 “___ creature was stirring...”

59 Quote as a reference 60 Pink Triangle Press publication 61 Madonna’s Dick Tracy character 62 Coup target DOWN 1 Hairspray composer Shaiman 2 Sea bordering Kazakhstan 3 Tales of the City character 4 Captain Jack Sparrow, e.g.

5 Come 6 Herring varieties 7 Idol judge DioGuardi 8 Ballet parodied in Funny Girl 9 Alec Baldwin ___ Love Me 10 Meet Me in St. Louis writer Brecher 11 Toreador’s trophy 12 Cunning 20 Theology subj.

21 Made less difficult to bear 24 Cape Fear star 25 Top PLO guy 26 Straight

27 28 29 30 32 35 36 37 42 4 3 44 46 48 49 50 51 52 53 56

Maximum extent Love of Eros Haul ass Vanity Fair alternative Shade trees Italian resort isle Not straight His museum is in Las Vegas Ravenclaw of Harry Potter fame Trojan, but not a condom “Ab Fab” network Kinky ___ (Ejiofor flick) Gin flavor Body of soldiers ___-Jones of Chicago Clinton put it in his mouth Guy under J. Edgar?

Christmas tree, often Lube brand ▼

CELEBRATING 7 GREAT YEARS Top of The Pines 56 Baltimore Ave Starting at 6pm current social distancing expected MAY 14, 2021

65 Letters

arts+entertainment

BY DOUG YETTER

SPOTLIGHT ON THE

arts

CAMP Rehoboth Puts Art at The Heart of Our Community

Don’t Ask—Do Tell!

I come from a long line of straight people who farmed, could fix anything with an engine, and always served their country. I grew up painfully aware I wasn’t made for any form of manual labor, and my sexual proclivities branded me 4-F—“physically, psychologically, or morally unfit for military duty.” The endless stream of uniformed cousins at family dinners only made me look gayer, if that was even possible. Everybody knew what happened to gays in the military.... But, surprise! Forty years later I’m married to a Navy vet and have dozens of LGBTQIA+ friends who proudly served and continue to serve. I even know a gay ex-Marine who plays organ. (Insert joke here.…) To all our LGBTQIA+ veterans—thank you for your service! ▼

Transcending Gender Los Angeles-based photographer Zach Oren has been traveling around the US since 2017 working on the Ides of Gender—a photo essay honoring the beauty and diversity that is the transgender community. Five of his powerful, vibrant, and thought-provoking photographs are on display at CAMP Rehoboth, as part of an exhibit that also includes 10 large panels displaying the history of the transgender community created by the Stonewall National Museum and Archives Transcending Gender traveling show. Works, including books, comics and prints from other trans and non-binary artists, are also part of the exhibit. On display in the lobby and in the Elkins-Archibald Atrium through May 31.

Oren will host a virtual discussion of Ides of Gender on Monday, May 17 (6:30 p.m.) to share additional works from the collection, his vision, and the challenges experienced with this project. ▼

Upcoming Exhibitions at CAMP Rehoboth In June, CAMP Rehoboth remembers local artist Lee Wayne Mills with an exhibit and sale of artwork, with proceeds benefiting CAMP Rehoboth youth programs. Mills was a renowned abstract expressionist artist whose work has been displayed in numerous galleries, and in public and private collections.

The mother/daughter duo of Aina Nergaard-Nammack and Marta Nammack will be featured at CAMP in July. Aina is a colorist working with abstract forms—both representational and non-representational—and Marta is a talented photographer.

CAMP Rehoboth focuses on themes that give light to our community’s unique history and culture, and serves to further diversity, equity, and inclusion, and build unity and understanding. Our exhibits may be viewed Monday-Friday (10a.m.-4p.m.) or by appointment by emailing artshow@CAMPRehoboth.com. ▼ Images this page by Zach Oren (left) Cielo, and (above) Kelly at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery.

Letters 66 MAY 14, 2021

arts+entertainment PERFORMING ARTS

explore the female identity— through May 25. Opening May 29, Obscured Light—a solo exhibit of landscapes by Damon Pla. Preview all shows on their website.

CAMP Rehoboth Open Mic Nights (CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Facebook page— under “videos”) 1st Fridays (7-8p.m.) hosted by moi, featuring singers from CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, live-streamed and archived on the CAMP Rehoboth Facebook page.

Cinema Art Theater (17701 Dartmouth Drive, Lewes; 302-313-4032; rehobothfilm. com) now has “cleaner and safer air,” and continues to follow all CDC guidelines, with reduced seating capacity for in-person viewing, and dozens of films available for streaming. See website for information.

Clear Space Theatre Company (20 Baltimore Avenue; 302-227-2270; ClearSpaceTheatre.org) presents The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee through May 23, followed by The Vagina Monologues— June 4-6. Their summer season starts June 29 and comprises Mamma Mia!, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Sound of Music, and Christopher Peterson’s Eyecons: The Thank You Tour.

The Milton Theater (110 Union Street, Milton; 302-684-3038; miltontheatre.com) has reduced indoor seating for social distancing, as well as their outdoor Quayside stage. Their remarkably diverse array of talent will make acquiring tickets a bit of a challenge. Check their website for events.

Biohazzard by Gemma Lockhart at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery.

Possum Point Players (441 Old Laurel Road, Georgetown; 302-856-4560; possumpointplayers.org) presents the comedy Vania and Sonia and Masha and Spike, through May 16. Silent Sky graces their stage June 4-13. Don’t miss “All the Fixins”—a special one-night country and blues show, replete with a delicious Bar-B-Q dinner on their new outdoor stage—June 26.

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS CAMP Rehoboth Gallery (37 Baltimore Avenue; 302-2275620; camprehoboth.com) features Transcending Gender. (See listing elsewhere in this column.)

Gallery 50 (50 Wilmington Avenue; 302-227-2050; gallery50art.com) offers complete framing services and a fluid selection of works by the many talented artists

they represent. Out of respect for the health and safety of the community, they are not hosting any special exhibits until further notice.

Peninsula Gallery (520 E. Savannah Road, Lewes; 302-645-0551; peninsula-gallery.com) presents I Am Woman—Five women artists Euphoria by Edward Alban at the CAMP Rehoboth Gallery.

Rehoboth Art League (12 Dodds Lane, Henlopen Acres; 302-227-8408; rehobothartleague.org) has several new exhibits: Mentors and Makers (Salisbury University graduate students paired with faculty), Meltdown (Washington Wax Works), Claiming Grace (works by Terry Schupbach-Gordon), Preservation Matters & Springtime at the Homestead (works from RAL’s permanent collection) all through June 6. Opening June 11: Earth, Water, and Fire (works by Lisa Battle), 48th Annual Members’ Fine Craft Exhibit, and The Human Form—A Moment in Time (works by Jeff Kibler). Visit their website for upcoming exhibitions and class offerings. ▼ Doug is the Artistic Director for CAMP Rehoboth Chorus, Director of Music Ministries at Epworth UMC, and co-founder and Artistic Director emeritus of the Clear Space Theater Company. Contact Doug at dougyetter@gmail.com if you want to add your events to the calendar. Check out CAMP Arts on our website at camprehoboth.com for links to all the listed theatres, galleries and museums.

This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, a state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on www.

DelawareScene.com.

MAY 14, 2021

67 Letters

arts+entertainment

by Terri Schlichenmeyer

BOOKED SOLID From Archie to Zack

by Vincent X. Kirsch c.2020, Abrams Books for Young Re aders, $17.99/$22.99 Canada, 40 pages

The girl who sits right behind you at school is really nice.

She shares her things if you ask nicely, and she likes to make you laugh.

She seems very smart and polite and she never says mean things to anyone, even if they deserve it. All the kids in your class like her; you like her but in the new book From Archie to Zack by Vincent X. Kirsch, there might be someone you like just a little more.

There was no doubt in anyone’s mind. Everybody knew it: Archie loved Zack and Zack loved Archie. The two boys were happiest when they did everything together, but the funny thing was, neither of them could say “I love you.”

Oh, but you can bet they both really wanted to say it.

Very much so. And then one day, Archie wrote Zack a note that said “From A. to Z. it’s true. I love you.”

Archie read the note to himself and it really made him smile.

But that note wasn’t quite right, so he hid it in a tree and Zack was still his best friend.

He wrote another note, kind of the same. He read it to himself but it just wasn’t quite right. He hid the second note in his band case and he and Zack were still best friends.

Just before Halloween, Archie wrote another note, with just a little more oomph and he read it to himself many

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ainment That’s Entert for Play A Passion Tradition Taking Dance for a Twirl

G A T I N C R E

Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was three years old and never goes anywhere without a book. Always Overbooked, she lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 15,000 books.

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times. What he wrote finally seemed right this time. He loved Zack! But for some reason, he couldn’t give the note to Zack, so Archie hid it in his desk at school.

Then one day, Zuzella found a note in a desk. Zinnia found one in band class. Zelda found one in a tree trunk and all three girls knew who wrote them. They delivered the notes to Zack and that made him smile because he’d been working on a note that wasn’t quite right.

One that said the truth that everybody already knew.

Nothing unusual.

That’s not normally what you want to hear about a new book; you probably want to hear enthusiastic things like WOW! but that’s not what you’ll find here. From Archie to Zack tells young readers a sweet story in a calm, even, nothing-unusual manner.

The lack of drama is where unusual comes into play.

Author-illustrator Vincent X. Kirsch lets kids know that Archie and Zack can love one another and it’s okay. The children in their class don’t make fun of anyone. They barely even comment; in fact, they seem to think it’s wonderful, a lesson that pulses like a heart here. Even the action-rich illustrations tell a story here, a story about kids that also serves as a surprisingly grown-up conversation-sparker about love, whether it’s between friends, classmates, neighbors, or a child’s two favorite uncles.

Perfect for anytime reading, kids ages four to eight will love this book best. For them and for you, From Archie to Zack is a book to get behind. ▼

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2019 June 28, er 8 29, Numb Volume oth.com camprehob

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August 9, 2019 Volume 29, Number 11 camprehoboth.com

Advertising in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth pays off.

CALL TRICIA MASSELLA AT 302-227-5620 or email tricia@camprehoboth.com for more information!

Letters 68 MAY 14, 2021

MAY 14, 2021

69 Letters

Celebrity Interview

BY MICHAEL COOK

Big Freedia THE QUEEN DIVA SPEAKS

F

or Big Freedia, it’s a simple mantra that gets her through and she calls it “The Two P Solution”— prayer and pushing. Her mantra has helped rocket this New Orleans supernova into the stratosphere, with an important documentary, Freedia’s Got a Gun, and a paperback version of her stellar autobiography, God Save the Queen Diva.

Michael Cook: Right off the bat, we are all starting to see who is touring and who is not this summer, and we are hoping that a tour reuniting Ke$ha and Big Freedia is going to be on a roster somewhere!

Big Freedia: I know, I am so ready you hear me? I am just ready to get back on the road and do what I love to do.

I love bringing joy, light, and love to people, and great energy. It has been a rough time; stuck inside so much.

We rely a lot on touring and on touring income, it has been really rough this year. Hopefully things are about to start turning around….

MC: Your book, God Save the Queen Diva, is extremely honest and raw, and while some of the details might be challenging to relive, you nonetheless are very truthful.

Has Big Freedia always been someone who has lived in complete truth?

BF: I have. Honestly, just growing up as a kid, I had to live in my truth to get where I needed to get and to become who I am. As I was growing up, I was still trying to figure out who I was and was living in my truth. As time went on and I had my mom as my biggest supporter who embraced me and helped me to figure out who I was, I have been just living in my truth. I knew early that I was gay and once I decided to tell my mom and she had my back, I’ve continued to live in my truth. That is what really has given me the power to move forward in life.

MC: What is the one thing that you have done that your mother was absolutely floored and beyond proud that you’ve accomplished in your career?

BF: Honestly, when I switched over to bounce music, and when I stepped outside of New Orleans and started to travel the world, I think she was so proud to see me make these big accomplishments. Definitely seeing the journey of her child on Billboard, on my own television show, setting Continued on page 72

Letters 70 MAY 14, 2021

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71 Letters

Celebrity Interview Continued from page 70

the Guinness World Record (for twerking, in 2013) she was there for all of those moments.

MC: You are almost single-handedly credited with bringing bounce music out of New Orleans and making it a truly mainstream style of music that has developed a fanbase of its own nationwide. How does it feel to be behind that musical cultural shift?

BF: It feels really great. Just being that all of my hard work has started to pay off and I can see the fruits of my labor. It feels really good to represent for New Orleans and for the culture of bounce music.

It makes me proud of what I do and it makes me work harder at my craft. It has grown this far and I want to continue to make it grow. I continue to want it to grow even further, become even more mainstream and be on the charts.

MC: So many artists have utilized your artistry and your voice in their own material, but you have made it clear that you are going to be credited. What does it feel like to have artists like Ke$ha, RuPaul, and Beyonce be such massive Big Freedia fans and even more so, have them counted as collaborators?

BF: Well, when you have artists of this magnitude that are fans of yours, it is such a great feeling. I never even knew that they were listening to me, any of these people. To find this out, it was just a great feeling. It blows your mind and you are very appreciative, I know I am. It’s like…wow, they are really a fan of mine. I mean, I am a fan of theirs but to have them be a fan of yours and you come under them and you grew up listening to them…it is something big and something special. I am just forever grateful.

MC: One thing about your book was the honesty. Whether talking about police brutality or the death of your brother, you speak very openly and honestly about these topics. Is it important for you to continue to speak about issues like police brutality and gun violence until we see the change we need?

Letters 72 MAY 14, 2021

BF: Most definitely. My documentary, Freedia’s Got a Gun, is what it is about.

So yes, these are things that I want to see help to make some type of change happen. It affects my community, around the world, and especially in Black communities. We are trying to bring awareness to our local and national leaders with what is going on with police brutality, the gun laws, and gun violence.

These are things that are near and dear to my heart; I have been a victim of violence and my brother has been shot and killed due to this violence. I have seen many friends and family who have lost people due to violence here in New Orleans. That bothers me on so many different levels; I will continue to bring awareness to the situation.

MC: What message, mantra, or phrase do you live your life by?

BF: People will always ask me, how do I get through, what is my solution to certain situations. I have my own thing that I came up with and it’s called “The

Two Ps”—prayer and pushing. I keep praying and I keep pushing; that’s it. I talk to God and get my strength that way and I keep pushing through any adversity that I have to face. The Two P Solution is always my go-to. ▼ Follow Big Freedia on all social media platforms: https://linktr.ee/bigfreedia.

Michael Cook has been a part-time resident of Rehoboth Beach for over a decade. He is currently a contributor to Instinct magazine, World of Wonder’s WOW Report, and South Florida Gay News. In between interviewing copious amounts of Real Housewives and RuPaul’s Drag Race queens, he has sat down for interviews with Liza Minnelli, Andy Cohen, RuPaul, Wendy Williams, and Debra Messing among others. Michael can be found on Instagram: instagram.com/cookie74/?hl=en.

MAY 14, 2021

73 Letters

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75 Letters

Volunteer Spotlight

BY KAREN LAITMAN

Dusty Abshire

D

usty grew up in Anderson, Indiana. His grandfather was a minister and Dusty began volunteering in the church at an early age. As a teen, Dusty wanted to be a youth minister.

His religious “gay” experience was a struggle. He knew he was different and did not have any outlet to be himself.

Homosexuality was never anything he could talk about with friends or family until college and after.

Dusty received his undergraduate degree from Huntington College, where he majored in youth ministry, and continued his master’s work at Ball State University. Dusty left Indiana to explore himself. He currently works for Delaware Technical Community College as an academic counselor. Dusty lived in South Carolina, New York, Georgia, and Pennsylvania before moving to Rehoboth in 2015.

For fun, he has travelled to Jamaica five times for missionary work, and three years ago, he traveled to Greece. Dusty met his partner, Joe Smith, online, and they talked sporadically beginning in 2007. In 2014, Dusty met Joe and visited Rehoboth for the first time. Dusty moved to Rehoboth the following year and they bought their home in the Rehoboth Beach Yacht and Country Club.

How did you find out about CAMP Rehoboth?

My partner Joe was a member and I found out through him.

What volunteering have you done with CAMP Rehoboth?

I have volunteered for the past three or four years with CAMP Rehoboth. I served on the volunteer opportunities committee and volunteered at Sundance as well as at volunteer appreciation meetings.

What brings you joy?

I love spending time with friends, going to Diego’s and to Aqua. I love watching movies and listening to music, mostly from the 90s…. Sunshine, warm weather, and our two rescue cats, Teta and Coco, also bring me great joy.

Letters 76 MAY 14, 2021

What is your favorite CAMP Rehoboth event?

I enjoy going to CAMP Rehoboth concerts such as the Washington DC men’s chorus and CAMP chorus concerts.

After COVID what is one of the first things you are looking forward to doing?

I cannot wait to go to a movie theater and see a summer blockbuster. I am not anti-mask, but it will be nice to walk around, run, and go to the gym without a mask.

Since coming to Rehoboth, what is one of the biggest changes you have seen?

I have noticed since I moved here that there has been a shift towards visual diversity. I believe Rehoboth’s racial and cultural diversity has increased thanks to CAMP Rehoboth’s welcoming mission.

“I believe Rehoboth’s racial and cultural diversity has increased thanks to CAMP Rehoboth’s welcoming mission.”

Name a childhood mentor or someone who influenced you?

The Dean of Students (Norrie) in college influenced my life. We became close and talked about LGBTQ issues as well as casual topics. Norrie allowed me to think about homosexuality and didn’t view it as incompatible to my faith. Due to our friendship, I was able to accept who I was, though it still took several years more to come out of the closet.

“Tuesdays with Norrie” was a group of about 10 guys who met weekly for lunch and talked about important issues, or nothing important at all. The meetings were very special and influenced how I saw myself.

What is your fondest memory of Rehoboth?

My partner is the president of a social group called “Black Tie International.”

There were two events per year and monthly happy hours, pre-COVID. There was dancing, dinner, and over 100 men.

We would have our events at different venues in the area. It was always an amazing and memorable time.

Name something about CAMP Rehoboth that stands out as a good memory.

My fondest memory was my time with Steve Elkins. He was like a mentor to me.

I remember (in the last year of his life), Steve and I sat on CAMP Rehoboth’s front porch rocking and talking. It was a cherished and amazing memory of mine.

Steve’s passion was a big draw for me to come to CAMP Rehoboth and the reason I want to contribute more to Rehoboth’s LGBTQ community. ▼ Karen Laitman is a member of CAMP Rehoboth’s Volunteer Development Committee.

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77 Letters

SCENES FROM REHOBOTH BEACH

1

(Continued from page 61) 1) at Shrimpy’s: Jovan Jones (Pinkky), Julia Sugarbaker II, Michael Mullins, Corey Trovarelli, Pedro Miranda, Luis Mora, DJ Sue P., DiMarco Dorsey, Labella Mafia, Diamond Doll, Ob Rivera, Jordan S., Barbie G. OPPOSITE PAGE: 2) more from Shrimpy’s: Shelly M., Kate M., Mark Vriedorfer, Michael Skinner, Barry Sabo, Donavon Higbee. 3) at the opening of The Country Store at Tanger Outlets Seaside: Geri Dibiase. 4) at Rigby’s: Jim Beal, Cesar Briggs, Freddie Lutz. 5) at the beach: Laura Reitman, James Graham. 6) at Drag Brunch at The Pines: Daniel Watkins, Michael Shockney. ▼

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The REAL DIRT

BY ERIC W. WAHL

Highlight on Flowering Trees

S

pring is a time for renewal and rebirth. Awakening objects made from the tree’s wood. Birds are attracted to the from their long, dormant sleep, our native flowering colorful fruits of the dogwood, and the tree also plays host to trees are some of the first bloomers that offer up their numerous butterfly and moth larvae. pollen and nectar to bees and other pollinators comThe Eastern redbud (Cercis canadensis) is definitely one ing out of their own hibernation. of my favorite flowering trees.

Some may still be in bloom even Known for its vivid, fuchsia-colas you are reading this. ored blooms along the length of Let’s highlight a few favorites its branches, it stands out in the that do well in our region. landscape. The heart-shaped Serviceberry, or Amelanchleaves are another distinguishing ier in the botanical realm, is a characteristic. native small tree or large, multiA number of other selections stemmed shrub that grows esare available including “Forpecially well in our well-drained, est Pansy” with purple foliage, sandy soils. Also known as shad“Hearts of Gold” with golden bush or Juneberry, it blooms in leaves, first emerging with a early spring with dainty, white reddish tinge. The “Rising Sun’s” flowers and produces juicy, bluleaves emerge with an orange ish-purple fruits in June. Loved color that changes to golds and by songbirds and other wildlife, yellows, and eventually to lime they are also edible to humans green. and make excellent pies and jelThe flowers and buds of lies. Serviceberry can be found the redbud are edible, with a within the Coastal Plain and the slightly sour taste, and are high Piedmont regions of Delaware. in vitamin C. The redbud attracts Interestingly, the common numerous pollinators and birds.

The benefits of these trees include name, serviceberry, is fabled to Redbuds like moist but wellnot only their beauty, but also come from a rather morbid origin. drained soils and are at home in These trees flower in early spring full-sun or part-sun conditions. their resource potential to the local in New England, and it said that They are a native, understory ecosystem and food web. they only bloom when the ground tree in our regional forests. begins to thaw from the recent, There are many additional frozen winter. At this point, unspecies to choose from, indertakers knew the soil was easy cluding fringetree, sourwood, enough to dig, and hence, have funeral services once again.

Carolina silverbell, staghorn sumac, crabapples, and cherries, Cornus florida, or flowering dogwood, is another tree native just to name a few. to the Mid-Atlantic region; it is probably the quintessential I hope I’ve piqued your interest in using flowering trees front yard ornamental tree from the 20th century. Graceful in in your own yards. The benefits of these trees include not appearance in any season, its signature blooms that appear in only their beauty, but also their resource potential to the local spring are not really petals but are technically modified bracts. ecosystem and food web.

The petals are tiny and are located in the center of the white, Have fun and be bold in your design. Group them together or sometimes pinkish, bracts. in mass for greater impact or use one as a focal point or The dogwood’s bark is blocky and looks similar to alligator emphasis in your garden. You won’t be disappointed. skin. It prefers moist but well-drained soils and is naturally Stay safe, and let’s garden together. ▼ found as an understory tree in our forests. As with many flowering trees, the more sun they receive, they better they Eric W. Wahl is a landscape architect at Pennoni Associates, and the bloom. This is apparent when seen along forest edges, president of the Delaware Native Plant Society. especially near roadways and farmers’ fields.

The dogwood perhaps derived its name from an Old English Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash. word, dagwood, which was a term for daggers or other sharp

Letters 80 MAY 14, 2021

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MAY 14, 2021

81 Letters

WE REMEMBER

Terrence Daniel Blackney

T

erry Blackney, age 63, formerly of Wilmington, passed away on April 25, 2021. He was born in West Palm Beach, Florida, and was the son of the late F. Neale and Marita Blackney. He graduated from Claymont High School in 1975 and attended the University of Delaware.

He is survived by his siblings, Pattie Painter, Brian (Nancy), Kevin (Barbara Kraus-Blackney) and Colleen; sisters-inlaw, Donna, Barbara, and Kathy, as well as many nieces, nephews, extended family, and friends who were like family.

Terry was preceded in death by his beloved partner, John Samoluk; his brothers, Richard, Michael, David, and Jeffrey; brother-in-law, Tom Painter; and his nephew, David Kevin Blackney.

Terry enjoyed working at ICI Americas/Astra Zeneca for 38 years in the animal research department. After

retirement he moved to Rehoboth Beach and joined the team at Signarama.

He will be remembered for his kind-heartedness, his ever-present welcoming personality, his hearty laugh and room-filling smile, and never-ending generous spirit. For Terry, life was all about Family, Friends, and Fun whether in “Wilmo” or the hot spots of Rehoboth, especially Murphs and The Pond. He cherished his Irish heritage; our “Danny Boy” loved everything Irish, and was Irish to the core.

In memory of Terry, call a friend, pet a dog, hug a family member, or enjoy a meal or drink with someone you love.

Terry would love that! ▼ For online condolences, visit mccreryandharra.com.

Richie Pagnotta

O

n Sunday, April 18, 2021, Richard “Richie” Pagnotta passed away suddenly at his home in Rehoboth Beach. Richie was born September 14, 1947 to Rocco and Rose (Rainero) Pagnotta in New York City, where he grew up and later attended Hofstra University.

During his 20s, Richie relocated to Washington, DC, where he worked as a human resources manager and met his life partner and husband of 42 years, William “Bill” Snow. Richie and Bill enjoyed spending weekends and holidays in Rehoboth and after retiring in 2009, moved permanently into their Rehoboth home.

In addition to his husband, Richie is survived by his sister, Lin Pagnotta, of Rehoboth Beach, several cousins, and a myriad of loving friends, all of whom will miss him greatly.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in Richie’s name may be made to CAMP Rehoboth, 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971.

Interment will be private. Any planned celebration of life will be announced by the family at a later date. ▼ Please visit Richie’s Life Memorial Webpage and sign his virtual guestbook at parsellfuneralhomes.com.

Letters 82 MAY 14, 2021

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D E E N WE PORT

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Immanuel Shelter serves those experiencing homelessness in Rehoboth Beach, Lewes and surrounding areas.

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Your generous support allows us to continue our mission and helps our community provide assistance for those in need.

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW YOU CAN VOLUNTEER OR DONATE, PLEASE VISIT www.immanuelshelter.org 17601 Coastal Hwy, Unit 11, #431 Nassau, DE 19969 1-888-634-9992

All monies raised go directly to Immanuel located in Rehoboth Beach, Sussex County, DE.

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ARTS TEAM Edward Alban Kerry Hallett Jane Knaus Lois Powell Leslie Sinclair Tiffany Smith Patricia Stiles Debbie Woods CAMP COMMUNITY CENTER Ann Evans Natalie Moss Sandra Skidmore Alan Spiegelman CAMP MAINTENANCE Eric Korpon CAMPCIERGES Mary Anne Bonafair Barbara Breault Jeff Buhrman David Carder Max Dick Doreen DiLorenzo Jim Mease Kim Nelson Pat Powell Patricia Stiles Russell Stiles CAMPSHOTS PHOTO VOLUNTEERS Dave Camorali Fay Jacobs Laura Reitman

CHORUS LEADERSHIP COMMITTEE Neil Frock Bill Fuchs Dianna Johnston Judy Olsen Kim Schilpp Dave Scuccimarra Sandra Skidmore CROP EVENT— SOUTHERN DELAWARE THERAPEUTIC RIDING Mark Eubanks Justina Goudy Sue Goudy Judith Greene Karen Laitman Jill Masterman Rose Moorehead Dotti Outland Denise Page Doug Sellers Leslie Sinclair Sandra Skidmore FIRST FRIDAYS WITH THE CAMP REHOBOTH CHORUS Barry Bugg Sally Gilles Bo Gordy-Stith Vicki Gordy-Stith Gail Hecky Dave Kemper Dave Minges Andrea Monetti

Gloria Richards Larry Rosen David Scuccimarra Tracey Seabolt Sandra Skidmore Kathleen Taylor Doug Yetter GRANTS COMMITTEE Leslie Calman Kate Cauley Lois Powell John Roane Leslie Sinclair LETTERS ARCHIVIST Ronald Dempsey LETTERS MAILING TEAM Andy Brangenberg David Carder David Hagelin Nancy Hewish Grant Kingswell Vickie Martina Stephen Palmer Fran Sneider Russell Stiles Linda Yingst MEMBERSHIP COMMITTEE Jane Blue Ann Evans Rich Grote Pat Newcomb Glen Pruitt Debbie Woods

RAINBOW THUMB CLUB Chris Bowers Carol Brice Linda DeFeo Patricia DiModugno

David Garrett Ann Garvey Marsha Mark Pam Notarangelo Jo Picone Lana Warfield

SOCIAL MEDIA Lyndon Johnson

WOMEN’S FEST HANDMADE MARKET Chris Beagle Pat Catanzariti Wes Combs Linda DeFeo Renee Ejaharian Mark Eubanks Ann Garvey Angela Glodowske Mollyne Honor Dawn Kasow Carol Lazzara Sheila Maden Jim Mease Kim Schilpp Doug Sellers Diane Sozio Mary Jo Tarallo

VOLUNTEER DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE Jeffrey Buhrman Pat Catanzariti Robert Fleming Karen Laitman Jen Marvel Jim Mease Rina Pellegrini Leslie Sinclair Devon Singer John Michael Sophos Angie Strano Debbie Woods WOMEN’S FEST ART TOURS Rob Jasinski Leslie Sinclair Patricia Stiles Russell Stiles Debbie Woods WOMEN’S FEST GOLF OUTING Nancy Commisso Ellen Dahl Doreen Dilorenzo Lexi Gardner

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AD INDEX AG Renovations.......................................................... 35 Allen Jarmon, Realtor................................................. 27 Aqua........................................................................... 33 Bayberry Flowers....................................................... 83 Beebe Healthcare...................................................... 38 Beebe Healthcare Career Opportunities................... 77 Brandywine Urology Consultants............................... 13 BSD............................................................................. 39 Café Azafran............................................................... 35 CAMP Rehoboth Letters Subscription........................ 85 CAMPsafe................................................................... 74 Caroline Huff, Artist.................................................... 15 Cat & Mouse Publishing............................................. 74 Chesapeake & Maine....................................................9 Children’s Beach House............................................. 57 Chris Beagle, Realtor................................................. 15 Clear Space Theatre................................................... 47 Coho’s Market & Grill.................................................. 27 Community Pride Financial Advisors.......................... 21 Country Lawn Care..................................................... 86 County Bank............................................................... 11 Debbie Reed Team..................................................... 11 Delaware Community Foundation................................7 Delaware Hospice...................................................... 83 Delaware Humane Association ................................. 64 Delaware Pride .......................................................... 69 Donna Whiteside, Realtor.......................................... 10

Letters 86 MAY 14, 2021

Duck Donuts............................................................... 41 Fifth Avenue Jewelers................................................ 49 General Dentistry....................................................... 59 Go Fish Go Brit .......................................................... 41 God’s Greyts Senior Greyhounds............................... 81 Harbour Waterfront Dining......................................... 75 Harvey Grider, Accent On Travel 7 night Cruise......... 51 Hugh Fuller, Realtor.................................................... 42 Immanuel Shelter....................................................... 83 Indigo Indian Cuisine................................................. 55 Jack Lingo, Real Estate.............................................. 73 Jenn Harpel, Morgan Stanley..................................... 11 Jolly Trolley................................................................ 81 Just In Thyme Restaurant........................................... 17 Lana Warfield, Realtor................................................ 35 Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, Realtors............................ 39 Lori’s Café.................................................................. 81 Loves Liquors............................................................. 17 Membership Matters.................................................. 21 MERR Institute............................................................ 49 Midway Fitness & Racquetball................................... 87 Milton Theatre...................................................... 52, 53 Olivia Travel................................................................ 25 PFLAG......................................................................... 84 Purple Parrot.............................................................. 43 PWW Law.................................................................... 59 Randall-Douglas......................................................... 71

Randy Mason/Shirley Kalvinsky, Realtors.................. 75 Rehoboth Art League................................................. 81 Rehoboth Beach Bears............................................... 65 Rehoboth Beach Dental............................................. 39 Rehoboth Beach Museum.......................................... 74 Rehoboth Guest House.............................................. 35 Rehoboth Massage & Alignment................................ 21 Ron Whitesell, Realtor................................................ 59 Saved Souls Animal Rescue....................................... 75 Sea Bova Associates, Realtors................................... 88 Springpoint Choice..................................................... 37 State Farm - George Bunting..................................... 51 State Farm - Jeanine O’Donnell/Eric Blondin............. 55 Sussex Family YMCA.................................................. 49 The Lawson Firm........................................................ 17 The Lodge at Truitt Homestead.................................. 71 The Pines.................................................................... 19 Time to Heal Counseling & Consulting...................... 48 Troy Roberts, Realtor.................................................. 55 True Blue Jazz............................................................ 63 Unfinished Business................................................... 83 Volunteer Opportunities............................................. 85 Volunteer Thank You.................................................. 85 Windsor’s Flowers...................................................... 59 Women’s FEST Thank you.......................................... 28

SUMMER SPECIAL:

$40

Seven day FREE PASS for locals

month to month

EXPIRES SEPTEMBER 22, 2021

COVID-19 UPDATE:

We are checking temperatures of all members and staff We have oxygen sensors Personal Trainers will travel to your home

FREE WITH MEMBERSHIP

NO GIMMICKS, NO HIDDEN FEES, & NO ATTITUDE

Unlimited Classes: Cardio Groove | Spinning 80s Step | Resistance Band | Boxing Room Total Pump | Total Strength | Butts & Guts

Commitment to Member Satisfaction

All classes are live-Zoom and if the weather is nice we go outside

Affordable Pay-As-You-Train Personal Training with NO contracts!

Access to All Equipment, Racquetball, Sauna, WiFi Convenient location behind Midway Theaters. With great parking!

THE CLEANEST GYM IN TOWN! 34823 Derrickson Drive Behind Movies at Midway 302.645.0407 www.midwayfitness.com STA F F E D MidWay Ad-2021-May.indd 1

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W E E K E N DS AM MAY 14, 20215/4/21 8710:20 Letters

LINDA BOVA

BRIDGET BAUER

BROKER-ABR®

BROKER-REALTOR®

CELL

CELL

302-542-4197

302-245-0577

THE BEST RESORT WEB SITE:

LOCHWOOD - Lewes. New Construction w/late Summer Delivery. 3BR/2BA 1,640sf.

Bamboo floors, SS appliances, granite & more. 12’x16’ deck.

0.23 acres. Upper $300,000s similar home (12 Cedarwood)

BEACHAVEN - Rehoboth.

2BR/2BA 3rd-floor condo w/ screened porch. Split BR plan.

Beautiful community pool.

Condo dues $233/mt. Just 3.5 miles to boardwalk. $235,000 (182224)

www.SEABOVA.com

~ CALL ~ LUZ ESCOBAR REALTOR ®

302-260-2080 cell email

luz_escobar2000@yahoo.com

INDIAN SUMMER VILLAGE - Millsboro.

2003 4BR/2BA home. Large addition behind the 1-car garage for storage or workshop. Big 16’x20’ shed. 0.45 acres. Low HOA dues of $275/yr. Well & septic for low utilities. Approx.

14 miles to the Rehoboth boardwalk. $279,900 (181766) SE HABLA ESPAÑOL

OLD WOODS - Georgetown. Custom-built 2007 4BR/4.5BA home is approx. 5,350 sq. ft. w/2 en suite bedrooms on the 1st floor, full In-Law suite on the 2nd floor, plus another bedroom & a bonus room. Great room w/natural gas FP. Formal dining room and kitchen adjoins breakfast room & has a door out to the front porch gazebo.

4-season enclose porch.

2 decks, firepit. 6-person hot tub & swing set.

Oversized 2-car garage.

Lawn irrigation system, landscape lights & backyard fencing. 1.5ac $785,000 (180388)

SILVER VIEW FARM Rehoboth. 2008 3BR/2BA home is in “like new” condition. SS kit appliances.

Sunroom. Patio. Shed. Pool & 3 miles to beach. $CALL$ (NEW) Lot Rent $590/mt.

PAGAN CREEK VILLAGE - Lewes. This location east of the Coastal Hwy means you are just 2.5 miles from the Lewes public beach, with the historic downtown area even closer! Built in 1989, this home has had all the major components upgraded in the past

5 years, so it feels like new. Reverse floor plan has the main living area upstairs for panoramic views. 2-car garage. 2 sheds. Outdoor shower.

0.50-acre lot. No HOA rules or dues. Bring your RV (elec. hook-up at the garage), boat, jet ski & other “toys.” $519,000

SEA AIR VILLAGE - Rehoboth.

1970 4BR/2BA w/family room addition. Newer luxury vinyl plank flooring. Eat-in kit.

Carport. 3 sheds. Pool. 3 miles to boardwalk. $53,000 (NEW) Lot Rent $553/mt.

(178972)

*A/C

~ CALL ~ THERESA CAPPUCCINO REALTOR ®

609-515-5820 cell email

DelawareBeach@yahoo.com

LOCHWOOD - Lewes. New Construction - TBB. The Ethan is a 3BR/2BA 1,605 sq. ft. home.

Popular open floor plan with a split-bedroom layout. Kitchen will feature stainless steel appliances & granite countertops. 0.41 acres.

Deck & screen porch. 10 miles to beach. Low HOA fees - $240/year. Call for Price

WHISPERING PINES - Lewes. 1985 3BR/2BA w/ large screened porch. Living room opens to kitchen & dinette area. Shed. Pool. 5 miles to beach. $35,000 (180896) Lot Rent $633/mt.

SUSSEX WEST - Lewes.

2018 3BR/2BA is gorgeous.

Split BR plan. LV & family room.

Fenced yard. Garage. 55+ community w/ indoor pool.

6 miles to bch. $229,000 (177158) Lot Rent $591/mt.

20250 Coastal Highway - Suite 3, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 OFFICE

– 302-227-1222 

EMAIL

– RealEstate@SEABOVA.com

Office Independently Owned & Operated by SBA, Inc. Prices, promotions & availability subject to change without notice. * “A/C” Active/Under Contract, Accepting Back-Up Offers – * “T/O” Temp Off Market