Page 1

Your Pleasure What’s

A guide to pampering

Home Field Advantage


eats for your football





Honoring phenomenal fathers

Living for today, every day

Little PINK

Reminders Oc t o b e r / N o v e mb e r 2 0 1 1

B r e a s t C a n c e r Awa r e n e s s M o n t h

10 | October/november 2011

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The New You It’s easy to admit that change can be difficult, even scary at times. We are creatures of habit, and we crave routine from a very early age. My daughter is living proof of that. But I’ve come to believe that however uncomfortable it is at the time, change is usually a good thing. It can usher in the best seasons of life. Graduating from college, having a child and finding a new job have all been big changes in my life. All of these at the time seemed frightening but now are obvious blessings. This fall, we are focusing our efforts on profiling Columbia natives who have experienced change in their lives. To me, the term makeover generally implies a positive connotation. It hints that we are making a change for the better, that we are doing something good for ourselves. Usually, it's applied to mean a cosmetic change — a new haircut, for instance, or a new lipstick. But a makeover can be a change away from the mirror as well. In this issue, we're all about making ourselves over. Whether that means making a change in our health, redecorating our houses, changing careers or just taking some time to slow down, a makeover is necessary for all of us once in a while. It is an acknowledgement that each of us is a woman worth spending time on. To that end, we have some ideas for pampering yourself throughout this issue (we asked our readers what their favorite form of relaxation was, on Page 51). For fresh ideas on making over your new wardrobe, look at our fashion page, as three couples take center stage with their new looks, on Page 66. Still, it's impossible to deny that not all makeovers are manicures and pampering sessions. "A Blemished Life Restored," Page 46, tells the story of a suburban soccer mom's struggle with addiction and her subsequent quest to reassemble her life and her family. Stephanie Detillier’s heartfelt article brings perspective to the table, while challenging the stereotypes associated with alcoholism. This enlightening story shows us addiction can happen to anyone. We applaud Karla Winchester, the recovering alcoholic, and hope her story encourages others to start making the change in their lives. This issue takes a look at the changes we all experience, regardless of where we come from. "From the Congo to Columbia", shares the story of the Rusaya family as they have settled into Columbia. Despite the challenges presented by a completely foreign language and culture, the Rusayas befriended the Wheeler family, and the two are now working together to make similar adjustments easier for other refugees. The Rusayas and Wheelers show us how strangers can come into your life and change into your closest friends. The unexpected can sometimes be the most beautiful. Columbia Home has certainly gone through a huge makeover in the past year (as we’re sure you’ve noticed!). Our new layout and new faces around the office have made for a great few issues. We hope you enjoy this one and that it gives you inspiration for your own metamorphosis. Or, we hope you gain some new ideas for relaxing as we kick off the holiday season. Let us know how it goes — after all, we’re Columbia Home, where women live, laugh and love. And we could never tell the story of Columbia without your input.

Edito r i a l Betsy Bell, Publisher Alfredo Mubarah, Associate Publisher Katrina Tauchen, Copy Editor Cons u lta n t Sherry Hockman, Interior Decorating Editor-At-Large MANAG E M ENT Chris Harrison, General Manager Renea Sapp, Business Manager Cindy Sheridan, Operations Manager DESIGN Kristin Branscom, Design Director Alisha Moreland, Art Director Beth Snyder, Creative Marketing Director Rebecca Rademan, Creative Services MAR KETIN G RE P RESENTATIVES Teresa White Joe Schmitter Annie Jarrett CONTRI BUTIN G PHOTO GRA P HERS Edgar Ailor, Taylor Allen, Angelique Hunter CONTRI BUTING WRITERS Nichole Ballard, Stephanie Detillier, Ellie Hensley, Melanie Lynch, Jill Orr, Keija Parssinen, Barb Schlemeier, Chari Severns, Kate Smart Harrison, Molly Wright, Nancy Yang, Lauren Young Editoria l In t e r n s Teresa Klassen, Lily Dawson SU BSC RIP TIONS Subscription rate is $12.95 for 6 issues or $18.95 for 12 issues. Call Cindy Sheridan at (573) 499-1830 ext.1003 to place an order or to inform us of a change of address. Columbia Home magazine is published by The Business Times Co., 2001 Corporate Place, Suite 100, Columbia, MO, 65202. (573) 499-1830 Copyright The Business Times Co., 2007. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Betsy Bell Publisher | 13

14 | October/november 2011

table of contents


20 Tucked Away

Anne Tuckley's self-decorated home showcases her one-of-a-kind taste.

26 Living For Today, Every Day

After being diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's Disease, Lisa McNeeley learned to live for today and gained a deeper appreciation for life and her family.

46 A Blemished Life Restored 30


After a struggle with addiction, Karla Winchester has turned her life around. Now she owns an architectural salvage store in Columbia, which has caught the attention of major cable television network.

51 What's Your Pleasure? A doubter's guide to pampering

Every one of us needs to indulge once in a while. We have a few suggestions for why you should slow down and relax and how to do it.

58 Little Pink Reminders

Alisha Moreland's simple, fun idea is gaining momentum and raising awareness for the importance of early breast cancer detection.

61 From the Congo to Columbia

The Rusaya family left the Congo in pursuit of a better life. Thanks to their friendship with the Wheeler family, they are settling into Columbia and hoping to help others adjust as well.

72 Mid-Missouri's Best Dads

Columbia Home reveals the winners of this year's Best Dad Contest.

75 Edgar Ailor

After a long career in medicine, Edgar Ailor has pursued his passion for photography, and his submission is this year's City of Columbia Commemorative Poster.



Your Pleasure


On the cover


A guide to pampering

Home Field Advantage







Honoring phenomenal fathers

Living for today, every day

Little PINK

Reminders O C TO B E R / N OV E M B E R 2 0 1 1

13 Welcome 16 Calendar 30 Design Trend


October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Read how Alisha Moreland is encouraging women to take control of their health while raising awareness for the importance of early detection on Page 58. Photo by Angelique Hunter

32 34 36 38 41 44 54 56 65 79 81 84 87 90 94 98

Designer’s Palette Expert’s Advice Shopkeeper’s Story The Dish Edible Education Dear Kate Welcome to the World Mommy Chronicles Fashion Book Club DIY Entertainment On the Web City Scene Home Bound The Last Word | 15

October Sunday







1 Breast Cancer Awareness Month Hatton Craft Fair, Hatton, Mo. 9 a.m. – 4 p.m., free Citizen Jane Film Festival, Sep. 30 – Oct 2,

2 Blue October, The Blue Note 6 p.m., $24 in advance, $26 day of event


11th Annual Fund the Drive for Nurses, Country Club of Missouri, Registration 10 a.m., shotgun start 12:30 p.m., $175 per player, $600 per team of four. To reserve a spot, contact Anne@






Oct. 4 - Nov. 19 “The Seven Deadly Sins,” Columbia Art League

Sealed for Freshness, Warehouse Theater 7:30 p.m., $8 general, $6 student/senior

Rain’s 17th Annual Wine & Art Gala, Orr Street Studios 6 – 11 p.m., $30 per individual, $50 per couple

6th Annual Central MO Renaissance Festival, Boster Castle, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m., $8 (children 5 and under are free)

Oct. 8 and 9 Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival, Hartsburg, Mo., 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., free

Artful Bra Contest, The Tiger Hotel 5:30 – 7:30 p.m.




Boone County Art Show, Boone County National Bank 11 a.m. – 4 p.m., free

Columbus Day

Portugal. The Man, The Blue Note, 7 p.m., $15


Artrageous Weekend, North Village Arts District, 6 – 9 p.m., free



15 100th Anniversary of MU Homecoming Football Game: Missouri vs. Iowa, Faurot Field $35 – 145

Artrageous Weekend 11 a.m. – 4:30 p.m., free


Artrageous Weekend 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., free

MU Homecoming Parade, downtown Columbia, MU campus, free





Taste of Art: Paint & Pizza, Columbia Art League, 5:30 – 7:30 p.m., $25

“We Always Swing” Jazz Series: Rene Marie, Murry’s 3:30 and 7 p.m., $23 – 37



Oct. 23 University Concert Series: Buddy Guy, Jesse Hall 7 p.m., $19 – 39

Oct. 31 Halloween University Concert Series: Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Jesse Hall 7 p.m., $38 – 53 Tiger Night of Fun, Hearnes Center 6 – 8 p.m., free

16 | October/november 2011





Eddie Money, Isle of Capri Boonville

MU Football: MU vs. Oklahoma State, Faurot Field $35 – 145

All My Sons, Stephens College Macklanburg Playhouse, 7:30 p.m., $12 general, $6 student/senior



Drive By Truckers, Jesse Auditorium 7 p.m., $12 – 29

The House of Blue Leaves, Stephens College Macklanburg Playhouse 7:30 p.m., $14 general, $6 student/senior Halloweenie, downtown Columbia, 4 – 6 p.m., free


November Sunday







Daylight Saving Time Ends

27th Annual Fall Arts & Crafts Show, Hearnes Center Fieldhouse, 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Election Day

John Scofield Jazz Quartet, The Blue Note, 7 p.m., $18 – 30










ZOSO: The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience, The Blue Note 8 p.m., $9.67

Holiday Shop Hop, The District, 5 – 8 p.m.





Greg Warren and Dan Chopin, Déjà Vu Comedy Club 8 p.m., $7

Veterans Day CAL Kids: Creative Fun Day, Columbia Art League, 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., $50

Columbia Weavers’ and Spinners’ Guild 22nd Annual Holiday Exhibition and Sale, Boone County Historical Society, 9 a.m. – 4 p.m., free






“Give a Gift of Art” Show Begins, Columbia Art League, 11:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m., free

Taste of Art: Snack & Sculpt, Columbia Art League, 5:30 – 7:30 p.m., $25

University Concert Series: Messiah, Jesse Hall 7 p.m., $19

Evoke, Missouri Contemporary Ballet's Fall Performance, MO Theatre 7:30 p.m.

MU Football: Missouri vs. Texas Tech, Faurot Field







Black Friday

Turkey Trax 5K Thanksgiving Day Run, Rock Bridge High School 8:30 a.m., $25 before Nov. 19, $40 on race day

7th Annual Tomato Festival, Bradford Research Center, 4 p.m., free

Diamond Night, The Tiger Hotel 6:00 p.m.

“Give a Gift of Art” CAL Members' Show, Columbia Art League, 11:30 a.m. – 5:30 p.m., free

Holiday Parade, The District, 3 p.m.




University Concert Series: My Fair Lady, Jesse Hall, 7 p.m., $19 – 39

Holidays with the Velvetones, Historical Senior Recital Hall 7:30 – 9:30 p.m., free




30 | 17




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Tucked Away by jill orr Photos by taylor allen

Decorator Anne Tuckley has a lot in common with her Bluff Creek Estates home. Both are tasteful, stylish, a little unexpected and completely one of a kind.


uckley, along with her husband, Paul, and their son, William, moved into their home in 2004. You might think a decorator would immediately start tearing down walls and gutting rooms, but Tuckley, with her trained artist’s eye and thrifty nature, found a way to work with many of the existing elements while making it a home that reflected her family’s individuality and style.

Love at first sight unseen The brick cottage-style home sits at the back of a long drive and is surrounded by lush landscaping, which looks at once inviting and regal. Paul, originally from England, said he knew he wanted to buy this house after seeing one photograph of it from the outside. The couple had just sold their home in Mexico, Mo., and had less than a month to move out. Anne, who was equally smitten with the house, could see its potential. She ended up making an offer on the home before Paul even had a chance to walk inside. Paul says he wasn’t worried. “Anne has impeccable taste,” he says with a grin (presumably referring not only to her taste in decorating but also her taste in husbands.) In her professional life as a decorator with Anne Tuckley Interiors, she specializes in home staging (illustrating a home’s potential to prospective buyers), so it comes as no surprise that in her home, Tuckley has maximized every room — every nook — with an unexpected detail or beautiful piece of artwork. The result is an adamantly livable space with a refined but not too don’t-touch-anything kind of vibe.

Yin and yang In Tuckley’s home, original oil paintings sit beside five dollars thrift store finds. Posh, large-scale furniture may be flanked by flea market flourishes, but each somehow is made to look better for the company. This appears to be the hallmark of Tuckley’s style: fine art living seamlessly among rustic, reclaimed pieces that in another setting might well be confused for garbage. In Tuckley’s capable hands, however, they are elevated to high style. Her family room is a perfect representation of this kind of yin and yang design. The room’s palette is a 20 | October/november 2011

Anne Tuckley’s family room reflects the designer's style: fine art living seamlessly among rustic, reclaimed pieces. | 21

“I don’t think people realize that they don’t have to spend a lot of money to completely change how a room looks. It’s about being smart with what you change and what you keep.” — Anne Tuckley soothing mixture of ivory-toned neutrals, another of Tuckley’s hallmarks, but set off by a single wall painted a steely, concrete gray. She mixes a leather sofa and club chair upholstered in a pearly tone with a thrift store wooden crate turned upside down as the room’s coffee table. The side tables, too, are repurposed wooden finds. A neutral-toned flokati rug, rich in texture, set on top of the existing white wall-to-wall carpeting anchors the room. The space is peppered with tons of textured pillows and throws, piled high to create a comfy, accessible feel. “I think every room should have something unex22 | October/november 2011

pected,” Tuckley says pointing out the simple, elegant linen curtain panels tied back with real cow skulls (one of which Paul shot himself).

DIY Tuckley received a degree in fine arts from William Woods University. Her background as an artist not only informs her work as a decorator, but it also means she is capable of doing a lot of the hands-on work herself. “I figure why pay somebody to do something I can do myself?” Tuckley says. Indeed, Tuckley has painted, faux painted and/or wallpapered almost every room in her home with her own

Top Above: This small room in the basement for her son to hang out with friends is made cozy by using a dark concrete gray color on the walls and bright accessories and artwork. Above: Tuckley's family room is a melange of rich textures, thrift store finds and muted neutrals.

two hands. In the recently redone master bath, Tuckley chose heavily textured vinyl wallpaper in gold and slate tones to complement the existing gold-framed mirror over the vanity. “I love it, but it was a pain to put up,” she says running her hand over the fabric-like surface of the paper. The effect of the wallpaper and the newly purchased amber glass vessel sinks makes the room look brand new, even though she didn’t change much else in the space. “I don’t think people realize that they don’t have to spend a lot of money to completely change how a room looks,” Tuckley says. “It’s about being smart with what you change and what you keep.” The crystal chandelier that hangs over the bathroom looks so fresh and of-the-moment, but Tuckley reveals it was there when she bought the house. “I just hung a few glass Christmas ornaments on it and gave it a whole new look.” In the home’s walkout basement, Tuckley again used wallpaper in a small bathroom. This time she used a paintable product she says she purchased inexpensively at Lowe’s and painted it with one coat of paint and two coats of glaze. The effect is rich and multilayered and a favorite feature in the house, she says.

Top: A sunny eat-in nook in the kitchen features a large rustic wooden table with a colorful peeling paint finish and comfortable bench seating. BELOW: The bright kitchen houses plenty of storage and a lot of usable work space. | 23

To give her son, William, a space to hang out with his buddies, Tuckley converted a small downstairs bedroom into a game/ music room. She painted the walls a dark gray color, so dark in fact, it looks almost black. “People say that you can’t use a dark color in a small space, but that’s not always true,” she says. “In this room, I went with a dark wall color but left the ceiling white and made sure the room’s accessories were bright, whimsical and colorful.” The room is

indeed small, but the space feels ultra cozy, a perfect spot for playing guitar, reading a book or playing video games with a friend.

What’s old is new again Texture is one of Tuckley’s favorite elements to play with. Throughout her home, she has artwork in every conceivable medium, some new and some that tell a story. Tuckley points to a particular framed paper sculpture in the guest bedroom and says:

TOP: Tuckley took a cue from hotel lobbies when she separated the large basement into distinct seating/ conversation areas. BELOW: Tuckley creates a spa-like feeling in each of these three different bathrooms in her home. The master was recently updated with textured wallpaper and new fixtures. Her son's bathroom (center) features soothing earth tones to create a Zen vibe. In the basement powder room, Tuckley used affordable paintable wallpaper for a rich, tactile finish.

24 | October/november 2011

“This was my Mom’s; I grew up looking at this. She was going to give it away, and I thought, ‘No, I can use that somewhere.’” If not rescued from a family yard sale, many pieces in the Tuckley house have been rescued from somewhere else. One theme throughout the home is old wooden architectural pieces that are hung as artwork. “This one,” Tuckley points to an old section of a wooden deck railing with white peeling paint that hangs on the wall in the hallway leading to the master bedroom, “I spotted when we were driving through Summer Hill [a small town near Plainsville, Ill.]. I spied it as we drove past and yelled: ‘Paul, wait! You have to go back!’ I think it was three dollars or something, but I loved it and knew I could work it in to the house.” Perhaps the Tuckley’s most stunning antique architectural element is the 300-pound antique door made of wood, iron and glass that leans against the narrow wall on the landing of the stairs leading down to the basement. “I looked at this piece at The Market Place [in Columbia] forever and wondered where I could use it,” she says. “I just love it. I think it’s from somewhere in Europe, maybe Italy. Then I just added a simple light behind it so that at night you can really see the light glow out from behind the glass. It creates such a warm feeling.” That’s another one of Tuckley’s tricks; she adds small lamps and lights in the dark corners of rooms and behind artwork. “You have no idea how much that can warm up a space,” she says.

This appears to be the hallmark of Tuckley’s style: fine art living seamlessly among rustic, reclaimed pieces that in another setting might well be confused for garbage. In Tuckley’s capable hands, however, they are elevated to high style.

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In the spotlight In August, Tuckley, a former model, was featured in an a major cable television network pilot for a new antique auction show. The details are still hush-hush, but she recently hosted a camera crew from New York in her home as they filmed her every move for the show. “It was really exciting,” Tuckley says. Although she says she doesn’t know exactly what, if anything, will come from the pilot, you can be sure that Anne Tuckley is making her mark on the decorating world. And if her home is any indication, the results will be spectacular.

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Living for Today, Every Day By Stephanie Detillier | Photos by Angelique hunter

After being diagnosed with a terminal illness, Lisa McNeeley moved past the anger and depression and learned to appreciate every good day she had left with her family.


ditor’s Note: In May 2011, Columbia Home learned about Lisa McNeeley, a Columbia nurse, mother and wife who had been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease and given three to five years to live. Lisa shared her story with writer Stephanie Detillier while interior decorating consultant Sherry Hockman worked with a team of local businesses to redesign Lisa’s home at no cost. In late June, just as our profile on Lisa was about to go to press, she underwent additional tests, which indicated that she didn’t have Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Her doctor believes she had an abnormal case of Guillain-Barre, an autoimmune disorder that attacks the nervous system. Lisa is slowly regaining her muscle strength, though a full recovery could take one or two years. As you can imagine, the

26 | October/november 2011

past six months have forever altered Lisa’s perspective on life, death and what’s really important. What follows is Lisa’s story on how preparing to die has changed how she lives each day.

DECEMBER 2010–APRIL 2011 The diagnosis As a 42-year-old mother of two, a full-time nurse anesthetist and a part-time Jazzercise instructor, Lisa McNeeley had little time to worry about herself — and little reason to either. She lived in a nice-sized home, had a good job at Boone Hospital and Columbia Endoscopy Center and was the fittest she’d been since her 20s. Back in December 2008, Lisa joined Jazzercise in hopes of getting into shape after the stress of graduate school and two pregnan-

cies. She lost 20 pounds in four months, became an instructor soon after and began teaching two to three nights a week. But by December 2010, she has started losing her balance and strength and then losing her patience when doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong. She feels generally weak and has twitches in her leg, almost like charley horses. She has gone to a rheumatologist and neurologist, but her lab tests continue to come back normal. Finally, another doctor runs an EMG (electromyography), which measures the electrical activity of muscles. He tells Lisa she either has ALS or polymyositis. What the heck is ALS? Lisa thinks. Lou Gehrig’s Disease, her doctor explains. Oh, crap.

On April 28, Lisa and her husband, Jeff, again meet with her doctor, who confirms the diagnosis. It is the second time since they started dating in 1985 that Lisa sees Jeff cry.

MAY 2011 Toward acceptance When Lisa thinks about her diagnosis, it almost seems ironic. ALS, a progressive neurodegenerative disease, damages the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord and eventually leads to loss of muscle control and often paralysis. “In my profession, I put you to sleep,” explains Lisa, who has been a nurse since 1988. “I give you a paralytic, basically a muscle relaxer. And I’ll die because of a disability that causes paralysis.” Her doctor predicts she has three to five years left to live, but Lisa is determined to move past the anger and self-pity. She intends to enjoy every good day she has left with Jeff, her husband of 22 years, and their children, Justin, 17, and Natalie, 8. But the unexpected diagnosis has called for immediate changes in Lisa’s lifestyle. Her doctor has advised her not to exercise, which would risk damaging muscles that can no longer repair themselves. She now avoids long-distance driving because she gets tired. And she has set July 1 as the day she’ll stop working, though she prefers to call it “retiring” rather than “going on disability.”

“At first I thought, it sucks. I’m 42. … I would love to be in my 70s.” — Lisa McNeeley She knows that eventually she’ll lose complete mobility as well as the ability to feed herself; her diagnosis means she’ll become completely dependent. Although Lisa isn’t close to total dependency yet, her family and friends have treated her differently since she revealed her diagnosis. “You need help, but people aren’t sure how to respond to you,” she says. An unexpected reaction comes from her son, Justin. He hands her his copy of Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, which had been required reading that fall at Rock Bridge High School. Two weeks after her diagnosis, Lisa reads the book about Albom’s weekly meetings with his former professor Morrie Schwartz, who dies of ALS.

By decluttering the space and painting the walls a different color than the living room, Sherry Hockman added much warmth to the McNeeleys' den. “At first I thought, it sucks,” she says. “I’m 42. The guy in the book is in his 70s. I would love to be in my 70s.” As she reads through Tuesdays with Morrie, Justin keeps asking her if she’s reached the part about the waves. Near the end of the book, Morrie tells a story about a carefree little wave who’s having a great time in the ocean until he sees other waves violently crashing into the shore. The wave is afraid of crashing and becoming nothing, until another wave says: “No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.” The passage helps put things into perspective for Lisa. “I thought it was pretty cool that my 17-year-old handed this to me, and it helped me accept my diagnosis,” she says. “Is it a coincidence, or is it fate that he’d just read this book?” Justin also shows his mom a YouTube video featuring a cartoon giraffe moving through the five stages of death while stuck in quicksand. The giraffe laughs through the denial stage, curses in anger, promises to no longer pee on shorter creatures while bargaining with God and wails loudly through depression. “I wanted to get to the final stage, acceptance, as quickly as possible because that’s when you can enjoy the time you have left,” Lisa says. As she watches the short video, she can’t help but laugh and smile as the cartoon giraffe accepts his fate: “You know something. I’m cool with this. I bet heaven

has all the tender leaves I can eat, and everyone gets their own Slurpie machine.”

EARLY JUNE 2011 Planning for the future When Lisa wakes up each morning, before she swings her legs out of bed, she wonders: Can I still wiggle my toes? Lately, she’s become better at avoiding this worrisome thought. It doesn’t plague her every morning like it used to. “What’s nice is that I have time to talk, to plan my will, to say goodbyes,” says Lisa, a farm girl originally from the Sedalia area. “The people in Joplin didn’t have time; they would have loved to have three to five years. There’s always someone worse off than you.” A caregiver both by profession and personality, Lisa plans to do whatever she can to make things easier on her family once she’s gone. Jeff says she has a morbid sense of humor as she talks about funeral homes and what outfit she wants to be buried in. But Lisa remembers a death and dying class in college that suggested writing down your favorite Bible verses, hobbies and hymns to make it easier for the loved ones who are planning your funeral or writing your obituary. “If people have a terminal illness, they need to plan,” she says. “… It will be hard enough on my kids and husband.” As Lisa prepares for her new reality, she rattles off her to-do list of projects, which she hopes will occupy her time come July 1, | 27

TOP: Thinking she'd spend much time resting in her room, Lisa requested bright and cheerful décor. BOTTOM: Natalie's bedroom suite became a special project for all involved. The guest/playroom, complete with a daybed, leads into a hot pink bathroom and Natalie's bedroom. when she “retires.” It includes fulfilling Natalie’s dream of having a lemonade stand, completing her will, picking out a burial site and having a rummage sale to get rid of the unimportant items accumulated in her basement. For her children, she hopes to work on their scrapbooks, keep a journal and videotape items that she saved from their childhood — items that she had hoped to share with her grandbabies. She also intends to buy Natalie a veil. “When I told her, she was so excited and said: ‘That’s awesome. I could use it for Halloween and be the corpse’s bride.’ Of course, I had something different in mind.” 28 | October/november 2011

Redesigning her environment Earlier in the year, Lisa had convinced her budget-conscious husband that they should hire an interior decorator to redo the main level of their home. They had never done any decorating before, which was obvious to any visitor who cared about that sort of

about a month, however, Lisa canceled the project. “When I found out my diagnosis, I called Sherry and said I can’t do this,” she says. “I have a child who needs braces, a child who’s going to college, and I know what’s coming.” Hockman talked to her husband that night and said she wanted to finish the project for free and sell any items to Lisa at cost. But that didn’t seem like enough. “I couldn’t do what I wanted to do for Lisa with my small budget,” Hockman says. “I got the editors at Columbia Home behind me, and I started calling decorators who I thought would work well together. I called painters and people in the industry I’ve worked with and asked if they were willing to donate.” By mid-June, the generous response from local businesses has overwhelmed Hockman, who is coordinating the furniture donations, new paint jobs for Lisa’s rooms and construction of larger, 36-inch doors, wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair. Hockman specifically rearranges Lisa’s furniture so that her rooms are not only attractive but also allow her to comfortably enjoy family time. “From the get-go, when I saw their family and their lifestyle, it was clear that cuddle time and television is huge,” Hockman says. “I wanted to do a sectional with a chaise so even if Lisa doesn’t feel like sitting up, she can lay there. And her daughter can cuddle in with her.” The transformation, which is completed in less than five weeks, incorporates Lisa’s favorite colors — green and blue — and Jeff’s nature photography. Lisa, who initially was uncomfortable being the recipient of such a blessing, says she’s been caught off guard by how the project has affected her. “When Sherry asked me to go look at a sofa, I told her it was the first time in so long that I felt excited about something,” she says. “I didn’t realize it would have that strong of an effect on me.” Natalie’s room has been a special project for all those involved. The 8-year-old, who adores her new hot pink bathroom and can’t wait to post Justin Bieber posters on her newly painted walls, doesn’t fully understand what her mom’s going through. “The doctor said to give her hope and say the doctors are working on it,” Lisa says. “I

thing. A row of mismatched cookie jars, all bought for $20 or less, lined the top of Lisa’s kitchen cabinets, for example. So Lisa met with Sherry Hockman of Hockman Interior Design, who made suggestions for adding new decorative elements to her living area and kitchen. After

“Now I’m going to see Natalie graduate and see my grandbabies.” — Lisa McNeeley

told her I will probably be in a wheelchair, but that will be OK. I said, ‘Natalie, we’ll be able to go fast.’ She said, ‘Alright!’ I think she knows something’s not right though because the other day she told me, ‘If you lose an ear, Mom, I’ll still love you.’ ”

JUNE 21, 2011 A new lease on life While preparing for July 1, her first day of “retirement,” Lisa visits her physician. She isn’t scheduled for a follow-up until August but wants to get the health insurance paperwork started so she can get a wheelchair. While there, she mentions the recent tingling and numbness in her lips and face. Her doctor, who has considerable experience treating ALS patients, says those aren’t common ALS symptoms and pushes up her next EMG test. The results shake Lisa to her core. They show less muscle degeneration than her original test results, which indicates that her nerves are regenerating and that she doesn’t have ALS. Or a three-to-five-year death clock. “Now I’m going to see Natalie graduate and see my grandbabies,” she says through tears. “I’m so blessed for all my family and friends who have been praying. God has blessed me with a new lease on life.” Although he has ruled out ALS, Lisa’s doctor isn’t sure what is causing her symptoms. “We never know how much time we have left,” she says. “We all live like we’re going to live forever. For three months, I thought I was going to die and learned to appreciate each day. And I don’t want to forget that.”

AUGUST 2011 A fresh outlook For the first time in several months, Lisa goes grocery shopping and leaves her scooter behind. It’s such a simple task — standing up and pushing a cart down the aisles — but she takes a moment to reflect on how thankful she is for the ability to do such small acts. “I don’t have very many bad days anymore,” she says. When Lisa returns for her Aug. 15 checkup appointment, her doctor tells her it’s the first time he has diagnosed someone with ALS and then discovered the patient has something entirely different. “People ask me, ‘Are you mad?’" Lisa says. “Absolutely not! It was a wonderful lesson I learned during those three months I thought I was going to die.”

Above: Mismatched cookie jars no longer top the cabinets in Lisa's kitchen, which morphed from a dull beige to a vibrant green.

“People ask me, ‘Are you mad?' Absolutely not! It was a wonderful lesson I learned during those three months I thought I was going to die.” — Lisa McNeeley

have these symptoms for life. She knows

After sending her test results off to other physicians, Lisa’s doctor concludes that she has atypical Guillain-Barre syndrome. The disorder, which occurs when the immune system attacks the nervous system, usually leads to severe muscle paralysis within 24 to 72 hours and requires hospitalization. The disorder damages nerves and leads to tingling, clumsiness and muscle weakness in the arms and legs. Lisa’s case is abnormal in that her symptoms progressed slowly rather than rapidly. No cure exists for Guillain-Barre, but most patients recover completely, though it might take years to gain back full muscle strength. Lisa still trips over her feet occasionally, feels sore and has numbness in her hands. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes, about 30 percent of Guillain-Barre patients continue to experience muscle weakness after three years. Lisa knows she might

thing we didn’t need so Jeff would know

they could get worse. But when she thinks of the alternative, she considers herself blessed. Lisa is continuing with her outlined plans to finish her children’s scrapbooks, catalog important mementos, pick out her casket. She doesn’t want to take life for granted or go back to living like she’s going to live forever. On Aug. 27, she holds her first rummage sale as she begins cleaning out the basement. “Before my goal was to get rid of everywhat was important to save,” she says. “Now my motivation is to declutter so we can enjoy a simplified life. The whole experience has definitely been a wakeup call to this house. Often times, we were so busy that we couldn’t go to 50th wedding anniversaries or birthday parties. Now, my perspective of what’s important is a lot clearer. The McNeeley Family would like to thank: Downtown Appliance, Majestic Home and Remodeling, JC Mattress, IO Metro, Lifestyles Furniture, Columbia Home Magazine, Windows, Walls, and Design, Johnston Paint and Decorating, SherwinWilliams, Dean Meyer Design, Andy Wappel, Busenbark, Mid-City Lumber, Braik Brothers Lawn Care, Garrett Painting, Drew Parker, Hockman Interior Design, Innovative Design, Interior Design Associates, LouAnn Stewart, McAdams | 29

design trend | Gold Rush Balmain 2011


Gold Rush

Fashion runways were glittering this year with metallic fabrics that, when used in dĂŠcor, are certain to make your home shine. Gilded accent pieces and shimmering finishes highlight a room and add sparkle to any palette. Let it shine!

product INFORMATION (counterCLOCKWISE FROM UPPER LEFT) Gold pillow, Ashley's Home Store, part of bed set; velvet pillow, Pier 1, $19.38; candlestick holders, Hobby Lobby, $24.99 to $44.99; gold tray, Tallulah's, $19.50; textured handmade gold tray, McAdams', $178; resin antique gold decorative sphere, Pier 1, $10; Mark Roberts slipper wine holder, Kent's, $21.25; tiger gold wine glass, Tallulah's, $25; mosaic sphere ball, Kent's, $16.95; black swirl hostess napkins, Tallulah's, $7; black swirl plate, Tallulah's, $5.50; wood napkin box, Tallulah's, $11 (napkins inside: $5.50); vase, Hobby Lobby, $39.99; large round tray, Tallulah's, $125; wallpaper samples, Johnston Paint & Decorating; gold circle mirror, I.O. Metro, $99.95; decorative wall decor, Hobby Lobby, $29.99; gold decorative sphere, Pier 1, $4.

30 | October/november 2011

Photos by taylor allen

by alfredo mubarah

designer's palette | petals for you

Color Splash

Leah Ann Boss, interior designer for Petals for You in Jefferson City, offers tips for creating an individualized color palette.

“I think color reflects the person’s character,” says Lean Ann Boss of Jefferson City’s Petals For You, who’s been in the business for 22 years. “Choose an item in a room that you love, such as a rug, chair or painting, to find your inspiration for color schemes.” When starting a new project, Boss suggests working from the bottom up. An area rug is a beautiful source of inspiration from which to pull a room’s color. In the shop, the rugs are the basis for the color palette, and the accessories and fabrics are complementary. 32 | October/november 2011

When selecting pieces for the photo shoot, Boss decided to go “stepping edge” to show the store’s versatility. “The shoot was more contemporary than most of our stock, but we have such a variety of styles and resources to choose from,” she says. The mingling of marigolds and different shades of grays, especially charcoals, creates a contemporary color palette, which can vary from basic neutrals as a backdrop and bold accessories or vice versa. Essentially, Boss says, “It is personal preference.”

Photos by taylor allen

By Chari Severns

Now Showcasing at

the Market Place.

Come see our new Fall collection of fine furnishings and accessories.

The Market Place 1100 Business Loop 70 West Columbia • Missouri


Sherry Hockman

Lasting Relationships Quality Workmanship

Serving Central MO Since 2004 • Columbia (573)214-0767 • Jefferson City (573)634-0074 • Fulton (573)592-7857

Landscape Design Installation Hardscapes Outdoor Lighting Professional Grounds Maintenance Irrigation Turf Fertilization / Weed Control | 33

expert's advice | Moon Valley Massage Therapy

Ask the Expert Susan Toth Eggener and Esther Bennett from Moon Valley Massage Therapy by Melanie Lynch

What are the health benefits? Massage has been shown to help reduce stress, enhance circulation, decrease pain, promote sleep, reduce swelling, enhance relaxation, boost the immune system and increase oxygen uptake in the blood, which promotes healthier and more efficient tissues and organs. Massage can also aid in recovery from injury or surgery by increasing range of motion, loosening scar tissue and adhesions; it can also increase flexibility and reduce the chance of re-injury. Research has shown that massage can be more effective than medication for relieving low back pain. One of our services at Moon Valley is providing on-site chair massage for the workplace. Businesses and schools large and small have hired us to come into the office for an afternoon and provide chair massage for their employees. Even a five-minute massage provides relaxation and stress relief, thereby decreasing absences and promoting employee satisfaction.

How can massage treat certain diseases? Massage does not cure anything; it can help a person get relief from pain and discomfort, but most importantly, we at Moon Valley help you to become aware of how to prevent injury and pain by becoming aware of your body’s structure and the bad habits you may have developed in compensating for injuries or discomfort over time. Short-term effects of massage: Increases circulation to promote muscle health and reduce pain, promote relaxation, reduce tension and relieve headaches. Long-term effects: Helps return balance to your overall musculature. This balance promotes better posture and increases awareness of habits/activities causing repetitive injury or chronic pain. Long-term massage is a form of preventive care for your overall health, comfort and longevity.

Advice for first-timers: First-timers should be at ease in knowing that we listen to you about your concerns and comfort level. No one should be enduring anything uncomfortable in any way. Verbal feedback is encouraged before and during the session: how much time one has, the pressure used, the perceived outcome, whether clothing should be removed or not removed, etc. 34 | October/november 2011

Most massage can be tailored to the client who is uncomfortable with disrobing; also know that you undress to your comfort level in a private room, and you remain draped with a sheet or blanket the entire time, with the exception of the appendage or area being worked on at the time. We use unscented oils and lotions but can tailor your session with added scented oils if you choose. The client may experience some soreness the day after a massage, but the pain should never exceed 24 hours and can often be prevented by adequate water intake following the session. Soreness can also be addressed with a 20-minute ice application to the area. Prenatal massage is good for clients past the first trimester of pregnancy and is likely to be done in a side-lying position for optimum health of the mother and child. There are certain areas to avoid in pregnant women; the focus of the massage is soothing, gentle physical and mental relief.

What are some of the differences between Swedish, deep tissue, reflexology and sports massage techniques offered at Moon Valley? It’s rare for a therapist to perform a textbook massage of any sort. We at Moon Valley discuss your needs and concerns with you and tailor the massage to suit you. Swedish massage is long, slow strokes to create a relaxing experience. Deep tissue massage tends to have an area or areas of focus with more concentrated stroking techniques. Sports massage, by definition, involves being clothed for ease of stretching techniques as well as bodywork intended to enhance athletic performance. Reflexology is an ancient art and science promoting the idea that every aspect of the body can be found on your feet and/or hands. A reflexologist should have an extensive additional education under his or her belt to be defined as such a practitioner; at Moon Valley, we have had 20-plus hours in the field and can provide effective hand and foot massage.

How experienced are we? Susan Toth Eggener has been nationally certified and licensed since 2006. She was an anatomy lab teaching assistant at Ohio State for two years and taught anatomy at the Massage Therapy Institute of Missouri for four years. She is also a recognized medical affiliate at Boone Hospital. Esther Bennett has been nationally certified and licensed since 2008 and currently does massage for the Women’s Wellness Center, Plaza 4 at Boone Hospital. Both Susan and Esther are veterans of the Missouri Sports Massage Team and have worked on many runners and cyclists at various events around the state. Esther has additional training in prenatal and craniosacral massage. Susan has experience with Chinese 5-element theory. Both have taken additional seminars in areas such as hip and shoulder stabilization, neuromuscular technique and passive and active stretching.

Photo by taylor allen

What is massage therapy? It’s a systematic and scientific manipulation of soft tissues (muscle) of the body for the purpose of obtaining or maintaining health. Clinical massage, which I’d say is a main focus at Moon Valley, has a specific goal in mind: to make our daily existence and/or activities less uncomfortable or painful and to bring attention to body structure and habits we have that could be contributing to our discomfort.


Dr. Willett and his staff will make your smile beautiful. Dr. Kent Willett, D.D.S. Dr. Kent Willett, D.D.S., is a General Dentist practicing in Columbia, since 1981. He is well known for his talents in both sedation dentistry and cosmetic dentistry, while being a long-time member of the prestigious Pankey Institute in Key Biscayne, Florida, where he has completed studies in restoring difficult dental cases. He sees referrals from all over the United States seeking high quality dental care. • American Dental Association • Academy of General Dentistry • Dental Organization for Conscious Sedation • Missouri Dental Association Dr Willett is not a specialist, he practices general dentistry. Dr. Willett has completed an American Dental Association approved one year residency program in which Conscious Sedation is taught. Cosmetic dentistry is a non-specialty interest area that requires no specific educational training to advertise this service.

Today’s dentistry lets us have the smile we choose, not just the smile we were born with. Learn how Cosmetic Dentistry can help dramatically improve your smile, without a care in the world. Oral sedation gives you the peace of mind you’ve always wanted and makes for a totally comfortable dental experience.

1601 Chapel Hill Road • Columbia, MO Office: 573.445.5300 | 35

shopkeeper's story | BUSENBARK CARPET

Traci Busenbark Best, a Family Motto and a Legacy How the local interior designer masters the balancing act of working hard and playing hard while bringing quality service to mid-Missouri customers by Molly Wright

Learning the business Born and raised in Flat River, Mo., about an hour south of St Louis, Best is the only girl of Gary and Clara Busenbark. With four younger brothers, Todd, Chad, Leslie and Brock, Best was a bit of a tomboy. “I grew up riding motorcycles on the chat dumps on the weekends with my four brothers,” she says. Chat, the byproduct of lead mining, was common in Flat River, now called Park Hills and once the lead capital of the world. Although Emery Busenbark, Best’s great-grandfather, was a carpenter by trade, it was his son Leslie who built the first Busenbark store, called Busenbark Supply, in Flat River in the early 1950s. Building and installing cabinets like his father, he also laid and refinished hardwood and installed linoleum. Best’s father, working alongside his dad from a very young age, learned the hardwood trade. But in 1964, when he bought the business, he added carpet to the flooring options. He says, “I saw the writing on the wall,” referring to the surging popularity of wall-to-wall carpet. From then on the business flourished, and after adding several additions in 1991, he moved the business to its current location in Farmington, Mo. Although flooring was in her blood, Traci Busenbark Best’s passion was interior design. After high school, she attended Flat River’s Mineral Area College for one year and then transferred to William Woods University in Fulton. Pledging Delta Gamma sorority, she met her first husband, Bob McCosh, as the result of a sorority road trip to Columbia’s Spanky’s nightclub. McCosh’s persistence for her phone number won her over, and they started dating. 36 | October/november 2011

Coming to Columbia Graduating with a B.A. in interior design, Best initially worked at her parents’ store in the window and wallpapering department. “I had a tool belt and an electric drill,” she says, adding that she sold during the day and installed at night. After a year, she moved to Columbia, where she married McCosh and got a job with Ethan Allen. For three years, she sold furniture and custom upholstery and put together color combinations and accessories for customers. During this time, McCosh, a used car sales manager when he met Best, moved up in the car business, and Best became manager of Georgia Carpet Outlet. Although she worked hard running GCO, she felt her creativity was stifled and she wasn’t doing enough for her customers. “I felt like GCO limited me since we weren’t supposed to sell anything over $14 a yard,” Best says. “So I could never really help someone who

Today the Columbia Busenbark store thrives under Best’s management and offers a wide selection of quality carpets, tiles and hardwoods, as well as area rugs, backsplashes, window coverings and accessories.

Continuing her family’s legacy in the business, Traci Busenbark Best brought Busenbark Flooring to Columbia, where the business is thriving under Best’s management.

Photos by taylor allen


tep into Busenbark Flooring and Granite, and you’ll probably see Traci Busenbark Best consulting with a customer. Then again, this interior designer might be cutting massive rolls of carpet or operating the fork lift. With small-town roots, Best learned early the importance of hard work. Yet, she also values her time off, particularly when she can ride her Harley. It’s a balancing act, yes, but it’s essential, according to Best, who believes following her family’s motto of “work hard and play hard” is not only a good life strategy, but it’s also vital for continuing a 60-year legacy.

At Busenbark Flooring, Best, an interior designer, helps customers sift through the store’s wide selection of carpets, tiles and hardwood flooring. wanted a better piece of quality carpet.” In 1996, Best dropped the GCO franchise, joined the family business and brought Busenbark Flooring to Columbia. In 1998, Best and McCosh had a daughter, Elise. Although Best and McCosh eventually divorced, Best says the two remain good friends. Best married cardiologist Dr. John Best in 2005. Previously with University Physicians and currently with Citizens Memorial Hospital in Bolivar, Mo., Dr. Best also rides a Harley. “It was a stipulation before marrying me that he had to learn to ride a motorcycle,” Best says, referring to her family’s love for motor sports.

Continuing the legacy Today the Columbia Busenbark store thrives under Best’s management and offers a wide selection of quality carpets, tiles and hardwoods, as well as area rugs, backsplashes, window coverings and accessories. The flagship Farmington store also prospers with her father at the helm. Best’s mother manages the books, Todd runs flooring, Chad is in charge of granite, Leslie manages the trailer division and Brock oversees much of the commercial sales. Personally, Best continues to alternate hard work with play. She particularly cherishes family gatherings at her parents’ farm, where she rides motorcycles with her brothers and their families and enjoys seeing Elise experience a taste of the small-town life she remembers fondly. Whether her daughter joins the family business, it’s too soon to tell. But for the time being, Best is content passing along the family motto — and with it, a legacy. | 37

the dish | Hy-vee

Sweet Reward

Pumpkin Cheesecake with Kraken Rum Candied Pumpkin Seeds By Chef Steve Henderson Crust • 1 ¾ cups graham cracker crumbs • 3 tablespoons light brown sugar • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon • 1 stick salted butter, melted

Filling • 3 8-ounce packages cream cheese, at room temperature • 1 15-ounce can pureed pumpkin • 3 eggs, plus 1 egg yolk • ¼ cup sour cream • 1 ½ cups sugar • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon • 1/8 teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg • 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves • 2 tablespoons allpurpose flour • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In medium bowl, combine crumbs, sugar and cinnamon. Add melted butter. Press down flat into a 9-inch spring form pan. Set aside. Beat cream cheese until smooth. Add pumpkin puree, eggs, egg yolk, sour cream, sugar and the spices. Add flour and vanilla. Beat together until well combined. Pour into crust. Spread out evenly, and place in oven for 1 hour. Remove from the oven, and let sit for 15 minutes. Cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 4 hours. Combine seeds, butter, rum and brown sugar in baking pan, and bake uncovered for 10 to 15 minutes or until thick. Remove, and let rest until cool. Add to top of cheesecake. CH

38 | October/november 2011

Photo by taylor allen; Dishes & Silverware provided by tallulah's

Candied pumpkin seeds • 1 cup pumpkin seeds • ½ stick butter • ¼ to ½ cup rum (Kraken) • 1/3 cup brown sugar

Which is your signature look for Fall? Set an appointment today and you’ll look like a Princess by Halloween! • • • •

Style & Cut • Color, Perms & Highlights Massages • Nails • Body & Facial Waxing Facial Treatments • Body Wraps Hair, Nail & Skin Care Products

Call Us Today!

1100 Club Village Drive, Suite 105 | Columbia, MO | 573.875.3008

Do High Definition Right.

2200 Forum Boulevard, Suite 106 | Columbia 573.234.1074 | | 39




Great holiday Gifts

for everyone from novice to Professional. GadGets• tableware bar ware • cookbooks Gourmet foods • linens


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812 E. Broadway • 442.9550 • • Hours: M-Thur: 10-6 • Fri: 10-8 • Sat:10-6 • Sun: 12-4


edible education | football party

Home Field Advantage Game-day favorites your guests are sure to love


he average big game-day party has 18 guests, all of whom expect a steady stream of fun, satisfying and delicious foods to keep them energized during football’s biggest game of the year. This year’s game plan to feed the hungry crowd can incorporate easy-to-prepare finger foods that will delight your guests while giving you and your budget a break.

Four Quarters of Finger Foods Here’s a complete menu of hearty and satisfying finger foods that give your guests manageable snacks throughout the big game and leave you with less cleanup and more time for cheering on your team. First quarter: To encourage your guests to mingle and walk around, start off the game with finger foods at multiple food stations decorated in team colors. Try a hot appetizer such as spicy smoked almond relish with honey baked chicken wings. Second quarter: It’s time for some satisfying and hearty snacks, such as cashew cocktail tuna melts or walnut chicken sliders with almond and roasted pepper mayo. Serve these hot sandwiches with fresh veggies, crackers and assorted dips. Third quarter: Bring them back from halftime with something spicy, such as spiced mixed nuts. For those who are ready for something sweet, set up a fondue station in the kitchen and serve mixed nuts caramel fondue. Fourth quarter: For the finale, send everyone home with his or her own reusable container of butter popcorn with dry roasted peanuts and Parmesan cheese.

Game Day Party Tips If your guests ask, “What can we bring?” recruit your team to bring party supplies in team colors or to simply lend a hand with final preparations. Here are a few other tips to make your game party enjoyable for everyone. • Keep the guest list manageable. How many can you comfortably seat in the main viewing room? Can you rearrange furniture to maximize viewing space? • If possible, set up a few yard games outside so guests can stretch their legs at halftime. Games such as ladder golf or a beanbag toss are a fun diversion. Or try having those armchair quarterbacks show their skills in a football-throwing contest. • If you need to store guests’ coats, empty your own coat closet before the party so guests can easily store and access their coats. You minimize the hassle of digging through a pile of coats and matching them to their owners after the game. • With a casual get-together, make your cleanup a snap by placing multiple trays, baskets or containers in discreet locations so guests can dispose of used plates, napkins, glasses and utensils.

Healthy tailgating tips from the nutrition team for Jenny Craig Inc.:

1. Pack baby carrots, grape or cherry tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, sweet peas and jicama sticks to satisfy your cravings for crunchy finger foods. Serve crudités with fat-free ranch dressing or hummus, which is rich in fiber and protein and makes a great lowfat dip. 2. Try baked potato chips instead of their fuller-fat counterparts. Individual-sized bags are also a convenient way to prevent overeating. 3. When making sandwiches, choose hearty, whole grain breads, lean cuts of meat and reduced-fat cheese. Then “volumize” with cucumbers, tomatoes, green peppers, onions and sprouts for added crunch and flavor. 4. Be cautious with condiments. A tablespoon of mayonnaise contains about 100 calories and 11 grams of fat. Save half the calories and fat by choosing light mayonnaise, or use mustard, which has almost no calories or fat at all! 5. Instead of the usual hamburgers and hot dogs, grill shrimp, chicken, heart-healthy salmon, turkey burgers or meatless options such as garden burgers or lowfat soy dogs. Make zesty kabobs by alternating marinated lean meats, chicken, vegetables and fruit on skewers.

columbia home | 41

Spicy Smoked Almond Relish with Honey Baked Chicken Wings

Wings, ingredients • ¼ cup honey • ¼ cup Dijon mustard • 2 tablespoons canola oil • 1 tablespoon hot water • ½ teaspoon kosher salt • 25 (about 3 pounds) chicken drumettes, patted dry • chopped cilantro, for garnish Dipping sauce, ingredients • 2 tablespoons canola oil • 1 cup minced onion • 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger • 1 tablespoon chipotle chile in adobo sauce • 2 teaspoons minced garlic • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon • ¼ teaspoon ground allspice • 1 cup tomato sauce • 1 cup ketchup • ¼ cup packed dark brown sugar • ¼ cup Worcestershire sauce • 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar • 1 cup smoked almonds, chopped In medium bowl, combine honey, mustard, oil, water and salt; mix well. Add chicken wings, and toss well, coating completely. Refrigerate two hours or overnight. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Arrange chicken on a wire rack over a baking sheet, and spoon on marinade. Bake, turning and basting occasionally, until golden brown and cooked through, about 45 minutes. In small pan, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion; cook, stirring, until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add ginger, chile, garlic, cinnamon and allspice; cook 2 minutes. Add tomato sauce, ketchup, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce and balsamic vinegar; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer until thickened, about 15 minutes. Stir in almonds. If the sauce seems too thick, stir in a tablespoon of hot water. Transfer to a bowl, and garnish with chopped cilantro. Arrange chicken wings on a platter; serve immediately with the dipping sauce and a bowl of the extra chopped almonds. Makes 25 wings

Butter Popcorn with Dry Roasted Peanuts and Parmesan

Ingredients • 6 to 8 cups butter popcorn, popped • 2 cups dry roasted peanuts • 2 tablespoons butter • 1 tablespoon dried oregano, crushed • 1 teaspoon chipotle chile powder • ½ teaspoon kosher salt • 1 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese • 1 teaspoon raw sugar crystals • ½ teaspoon large sea salt crystals • ¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine the popcorn and peanuts; set aside. In a small pan, melt butter over medium heat. Add oregano, chile powder and salt; cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Pour over the popcorn mixture; toss well. Add cheese, sugar, salt and pepper; toss well. Transfer mixture to a baking sheet; bake, stirring occasionally, until dry and toasted, about 8 minutes. Transfer to a serving bowl. Serve immediately. Makes about 6 cups 42 | October/november 2011 | 43

B I E O G BC M ENRICHING OUR COMMUNITY ONE LIFE AT A TIME, BY HELPING YOU GROW. “At New Life, we’re focused on spiritual growth as the key ingredient to a truly great life for you and your family.” -Pastor Tom and Jeni Ragsdell

JOIN US AT THE ARC on Sundays at 10:15 a.m. Don’t forget to bring the kids.

dear kate

Life, love, family and more. Your questions answered.

dear kate,I’ve been working with the same organization for six years,

and I love my job but am continually overlooked. I feel I’ve been there long enough and proved myself time and again, and yet I am still in the same position I started in and making relatively the same salary. There has not been much opportunity for upward mobility, but I truly believe my skills and time deserve some recognition — in the monetary sense. C. B. Dear C.B. We often think that if we quietly, diligently go about our work, it will be noticed and the appropriate accolades doled out, whether big promotions, raises or simply words of praise and thanks. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. We have to be advocates for ourselves in every environment, in particular our workplace. When you become good at your job, it means your area is running smoothly, and the lack of issues often means less attention is paid to you. You’ve got it, so why would your employer mess with a good thing? Sometimes it’s necessary to remind them that it’s running smoothly because of your effort, skill and attention. If you feel you have been unduly neglected in the raise or promotion department, say something. But say it graciously, and come prepared with data to back up your request. Check out comparable salaries for similar roles in similar fields. Specify what you have brought to the company over the years. Identify your future career goals and how they dovetail with the organization. While gathering information to present, don’t forget to see if other opportunities await you in your field of choice. If something interests you, apply for it. And when you present your case to your employer, let them know that you’re looking at other employment opportunities (if you really are). And don’t forget to impart how much you enjoy your current position and desire to remain in it if fair compensation is provided. Remember, threats are not the answer; rationale for your request is.

dear kate,

44 | October/november 2011

I am in a great relationship with a great man. We have been together for a year, but at the moment we are dating long distance due to a job assignment he is on for the next six months. We’ve made plans to visit each other at least once a month, and we talk multiple times a day. Since he left, I have been worrying that we’re going to break up. We are arguing more than ever, and I know it’s mainly due to my fears. I get hung up on the fact that he went out with co-workers or that he might decide he doesn’t want to be with me. He reminds me continually how much he loves me and that I am the woman for him. I just seem to focus on what might be and not what is. I never

thought I would find love, and now that I have, I’m terrified of losing it. H. L. Dear H.L. From the information provided it sounds like this has far more to do with imagined fears than fears based in reality. This is not to say that what you are feeling isn’t real, but the reasons behind your fears don’t seem to have much to substantiate them. Consider the evidence. Ask yourself, what evidence do you have that your beloved is going to ditch you and find a new love? Has he ever cheated on you or given you reason to distrust his commitment to your relationship? What evidence do you have that he loves you and only you? Make a thorough list, and take a good look. My guess is the scale will tip significantly in the evidence he loves you column. Keep this list handy, and refer to it when those doubts start to creep in. Sometimes it’s human nature to push buttons, especially with those we love and who love us. We often say things to someone who loves us unconditionally that we would never say to a mortal enemy simply because we feel safe in the relationship. Check yourself, and try to identify the cause of the arguments. Is there a chance you are instigating an argument to test your relationship? When we’re feeling insecure or uncertain, it sometimes seems logical to create a stir because if the person still loves you after it’s over, it provides a renewed sense of security in the relationship. If this is happening, it’s important to acknowledge it, talk about it and find a new method. And remember, you were thriving before this person came in to your life, and on the off chance things do go belly up, you will thrive after.

Locally Owned • American-Made

Next to Bright City Lights 1400 Heriford Road, Columbia, MO 573-777-5999

Have a question for Kate? Email Kate Smart Harrison holds a B.A. in psychology from Loyola University, New Orleans and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Missouri. Kate also attended a graduate program in Austria for peace studies and conflict transformation. Disclaimer: The advice provided in this column is for general informational and educational purposes only; it is not offered as, and does not constitute, a therapeutic relationship or psychotherapeutic advice. None of the information presented is intended as a substitute for professional consultation by a qualified practitioner. | 45

A Blemished Life Restored Before Karla Winchester opened her architectural salvage store in Columbia, she rescued her personal life from addiction. By Stephanie Detillier | photos by angelique hunter


ne Sunday morning, less than two weeks after having open-heart surgery, Karla Winchester sits at a table at Kaldi’s and fights the urge to walk down to her shop on Broadway. Her Type A tendencies tell her she should be there today when a major cable television network films a segment at Grace, “A Place of Restoration.” But her health-conscious intuition knows she needs to take it easy. On July 30, Winchester blacked out behind the wheel while turning onto Walnut at the College Avenue intersection. She hit a street sign and was admitted to Boone County Hospital for neurological tests. Just as she was about to be released three days later, physicians discovered that her heart had gone into V-tach (ventricular tachycardia) during her stress test. The irregular heart rhythm, which is potentially lifethreatening, was the result of a congenital heart defect — one Winchester didn’t even know she had. “The series of events caught me like a punch in the stomach,” she says. “When they told me I had to have open-heart surgery, I thought that’s for people with high cholesterol, for people in their 70s and 80s.” Winchester, a petite 49-year-old woman, looks nothing like the typical open-heart surgery patient. Then again, from looking at her, you wouldn’t suspect she is a former addict either. Both heart problems and addiction carry stereotypes that Winchester hopes to diminish by sharing her story of recovery. Winchester, known for her interior design and architectural salvage work throughout mid-Missouri, is a recovering alcoholic and former rehab patient. Although she has been sober for eight years, her history of addiction made open-heart surgery more complicated — and scarier. “One of my biggest fears has been getting into a car accident and needing to take pain pills,” Winchester says. Although prescription painkillers were not her former drug of choice, she didn’t want to risk a relapse. “When I said I’d never accept pain pills, I really had thought that meant never, but the doctors explained that they’d manage my intake in intensive care. When I 46 | October/november 2011

Karla Winchester, owner of Grace, "A Place of Restoration," hopes to diminish the stereotypes that surround addiction and heart disease.

came home, I refused a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. Being scared and being able to think everything through was really key for me and my sobriety.” Winchester views the car accident as another sign of God’s grace. Without it, her heart condition might have gone undetected and led to a fatal heart attack. As she

recouperates from the surgery, she reflects back on the grace that helped her turn her life around.

The life of an addict Contrary to the clichéd broken childhood story of addicts, Winchester grew up on a ranch in Pleasant Hill, Mo., with two sisters

and two self-employed parents. She took up piano lessons at age 3, and music became her refuge. At 18, she won Miss Teen Missouri, though she had no prior pageant experience. The pageant opened Winchester’s world to public speaking and led her to change her major at the University of Missouri from music to communication. “The role included a lot of volunteer community work and encouraging young women to be the best they could be,” she says. “I often traveled back and forth to Kansas City during my freshman year at Mizzou because of Miss Teen Missouri. My grades weren’t a problem, but I struggled getting used to college emotionally.” In a sociology class her junior year, the Chi Omega sorority member met her future husband, John Milla, a left guard on the MU football team. They were engaged by Winchester’s final college semester and married in September 1984. After giving birth to their first child, Brandon, in 1986, she left her corporate job at Maritz, an incentive company in St. Louis, and began doing interior design part time, a career that brought her much fulfillment. “My parents joked that growing up, I rearranged the furniture in my bedroom every day,” she says. “By the time I moved out, the furniture had no legs. I was embracing my creative side that I got from both of my self-employed parents.” Winchester built her business by word of mouth and added two children to her family: Taylore in 1989 and Kathryn in 1996. When her oldest children were in middle school, she began drinking a seemingly innocent glass of chardonnay in the evenings. Prior to that, she used to partake in a few drinks on occasional nights out with friends but had no problem moderating her intake. Winchester’s one nightly glass, however, soon multiplied by three. Her husband, parents and sister confronted her about her increasing dependence on alcohol, but she remained in denial. “My girlfriends would say, ‘Well, you don’t even drink that much with us,’ but they didn’t realize that I had been drinking before I even left to meet them,” Winchester says. The more Winchester drank, the more energy it took for her to keep the addiction a secret and appear to be a highfunctioning person. “The nature of the disease is progressive,” she says. “It begins to take more drinks to get that original ‘ahh’ feeling; then it becomes nearly impossible to recapture that initial thrill.”

On Sept. 11, 2001, Winchester found herself pouring a drink in the morning. “Before then, I’d watch the clock every day for it to hit 4 p.m.,” she recalls. “I had convinced myself that it was OK to drink a glass at the time.” Her addiction continued to spiral. “When you’re addicted, you don’t have proper perspective,” she says. “I don’t remember a lot of things, and that’s the ugly side of the disease. You know that choosing alcohol is at the sacrifice of your family and business.” Winchester hit her breaking point during the 2002 holiday season. Feeling lonely and unhappy exacerbated her drinking. Although she now jokes that almost no one gets sober in December (most wait until after consuming New Years Eve bubbly), Winchester had her last alcoholic drink on Dec. 18, 2002. That day, her husband approached her and said he’d go with her to get help. “Honestly, I felt so relieved,” Winchester says. “It was like I was waiting for someone to say: ‘Take my hand. I know what you’re doing. It’s OK. Let’s go get help.’” Winchester entered an outpatient program at St. John’s Mercy Health Care in St. Louis, but a week of treatment wasn’t enough. “For the average person, it can take years of addiction to get to the point of rock bottom,” she says. “A week isn’t going to change that.” Winchester enrolled in a residential treatment center in California for three months. The rigorous program required attendance at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings each morning at 6 and forced Winchester to face the problems she had been trying to escape. Although she didn’t look like most of the rehab patients, Winchester quickly realized they were more alike than different. “Here was I, this suburban St. Louis soccer mom, and 90 percent of the people there had tattoos covering 80 percent of their bodies,” she says. “But the bond that grew among us was so great because of our sickness. I felt very at home in that environment. There is no cookie cutter face of addiction. It’s me. It’s the biker dude with tattoos.”

Getting past the shame Without alcohol in her system, Winchester could think more clearly. The rehabilitation center’s staffers advised her not to make any major life decisions within the first year of sobriety. But Winchester believed she had to do otherwise. In 2003, she got a divorce and moved into an apartment.

“When you’re addicted, you don’t have proper perspective. I don’t remember a lot of things, and that’s the ugly side of the disease. You know that choosing alcohol is at the sacrifice of your family and business.” — Karla Winchester Although she and her ex-husband shared joint custody, their children remained in the family home with their father to ensure they lived in the most stable environment possible. “I was scared to death,” Winchester remembers. “I wanted my children with me horribly, but it was selfish enough for me to have been so into my addiction. I needed to put my children’s needs and best interests first.” During her first year of sobriety, she focused her time on going to AA meetings to stay sober, obtaining employment and rebuilding an independent life after being married for nearly 20 years. Without health insurance, Winchester realized she needed a more stable job than her part-time interior decorating business, so she became director of recruitment for ITT Technical Institute in St. Louis. “I mourned the fact that interior design had been so much a part of my identity,” she says. “I just knew I was not able to do it at the time.” Winchester tried to be easy on herself, taking it one day at a time. Although many of her family members, friends and interior design clients offered support, she felt alienated and shunned by others. She often reminded herself of the adage: “Enemies don’t deserve an explanation. Friends don’t need one.” But overcoming the shame, particularly the shame associated with not having her children with her on a daily basis, was tough. “I believe in our society there’s an unspoken assumption that children should stay with their mother,” she says. “My choice was the most selfless, loving thing I could do, but it was also the most painful.” | 47

Brandon and Taylore, both high-schoolers at the times, harnessed some resentment. Kathryn, too young to understand, drew pictures for Winchester and stayed with her on the weekends. Today, Kathryn, 14, continues to spend weekends with her mom; Brandon, a college graduate, and Taylore, a college senior, both have careers out of state. “Children definitely suffer, but they are very resilient,” says Winchester, who has built a strong relationship with her children. “I see strengths in them that they wouldn’t have otherwise. Through my whole journey, my recovery has been a gift I can give my children. Alcoholism is genetic, so if my children find themselves struggling with an addiction, they’ll have hope and know that recovery is possible. I think that’s worth it’s weight in gold.”

Winchester, a petite 49-year-old woman, looks nothing like the typical open-heart surgery patient. Then again, from looking at her, you wouldn’t suspect she is a former addict either. Both heart problems and addiction carry stereotypes that Winchester hopes to diminish by sharing her story of recovery.

Refocusing her energy In 2004, Winchester moved to Boonville and took a job as a recruiter for DeVry University in Kansas City. The position required traveling about 1,000 miles per week to meet with potential students in the central Missouri area, but she found the human element of it fulfilling. In many cases, she was sitting down at the kitchen tables of farming families and talking to high-schoolers who would become firstgeneration college students. Winchester remained diligent about her sobriety. She did not keep alcohol in her home and avoided situations in which she’d be tempted to drink. “If I see someone having a glass of wine, I might think, ‘Gee, what would happen if I had a glass of chardonnay?’” she says. “My initial thought is that ‘ahh’ feeling. My second is that it’s a lie. If I had one glass, the next day I’d have two. Very quickly, I’d go back to where I was and spiral from there to an even lower bottom. Having the ability to think it through is the key.” Rehab and AA meetings armed her with the tools she needed to deal with stress. Instead of trying to escape those situations, she worked hard to remain present and cope with the issue at hand. Winchester took the energy she had once used to conceal her addiction and put it toward restarting her interior design business. In 2009, she opened Grace, “A Place of Restoration” in Rocheport. The store specialized in hand-picked pieces Winchester salvaged from flea markets, old homes and estate sales. “As a kid, when my mom and I visited flea markets, I’d go to the back of the store, 48 | October/november 2011

Winchester, who will celebrate nine years of sobriety in December, prides herself on repurposing imperfect items into decorative treasures.

bend down, look for the finest broken treasure and be fascinated by it,” she says. In January 2011, Winchester moved Grace to 918 E. Broadway in downtown Columbia, and it has already attracted the attention of a major cable television network, which filmed a segment there in August (the air date is still TBA). Natalie Blood, manager of Grace, says Winchester has been a kind and gentle boss but also a ball of enthusiasm. “We kind of joke that Karla had so much energy before having surgery, we don’t know what she’ll be like now [that her heart defect has been fixed],” she says. “It’s nice that she doesn’t even feel like my boss but more like a very good friend. She’s very trusting and easy to talk to about anything.” Although owning an antiques and salvage décor store might seem like a luxurious job, Winchester is quick to

point out the dirty side. She feels most comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, which allow her to dig through dumpsters, haul large items and clean dirty architectural pieces without any fuss. She purposely looks for the beauty in tarnished, broken items that have been cast aside. In Winchester’s hands, an old door morphs into a bed headboard, a chicken coop gets repurposed into a coffee table and a wooden shoe form becomes a coat hook. She takes pride in rescuing broken things because she believes they, too, deserve a second chance. In December 2011, Winchester will celebrate her own rebirth and nine years of sobriety. When she reflects on how far she’s come since entering rehab in 2002, she’s continually reminded of two things: Her life of recovery is a journey that involves making good choices one day at a time, and a blemished, imperfect life can always be salvaged through God’s grace.

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Pleasure? What’s Your

A doubter’s guide to pampering By nancy yang

Back in the 1990s, an up-and-coming superstar named Queen Latifah did something shocking, even for a female rapper. She gave herself a wedding ring. It was a dazzling form of self-promotion for sure, but I can't help but admire its message. The ring, she said, was a reminder that she was a prize catch and needed to “treat herself like a queen.” | 51

52 | October/november 2011


or as long as I can remember, I've secretly enjoyed treating myself royally but never thought I could justify it. Having grown up squarely in middle-class Midwestern America, I associated pampering and self-care with celebrities and the idle rich. The first time I had a professional manicure was the day before my wedding. When I was a young mother, I rarely indulged in “me time,” especially if I had to pay for it. After all, what kind of message would it send to my children? A pretty good one, as it turns out. Local cognitive behavioral psychologist Craig Rooney says pampering can lead to some well documented health benefits. Self-care rituals such as massages, soaks in the tub or meditation can trigger the relaxation response, which has been shown to lower heart rates, blood pressure and the risk of heart disease. The relaxation response can also relieve and prevent chronic stress, which we now know triggers the overproduction of cortisol. Higher than normal or prolonged increased levels of cortisol can lead to problems such as impaired cognitive performance, suppressed thyroid function and blood sugar imbalances. Rooney suggests we think of taking time to “rest and digest” as a form of refueling. He says it’s something we never question with our cars, but when it comes to our minds and bodies, we suddenly consider it superficial. Many women have been socialized to take care of everyone else, which sets them up for feeling guilty when it comes to self-care. Guilt can also creep in when we need pampering the most. Consider the go-getter who thinks pampering is a waste of time. As Rooney puts it, “They believe it’s icing on the cake, and they're too busy with the cake.” I happen to be related to some Type A types. Compared to them, I feel like a downright slacker. What a relief to learn that pampering restores energy and can actually lead to better productivity overall. It can also increase satisfaction in life and improve mental health. A recent meta-analysis titled “The Effectiveness of Yoga Therapy as a Complementary Treatment for Major Psychiatric Disorders” found that yoga helped combat depression, anxiety, PTSD and even schizophrenia. Perhaps what all forms of self-care have in common is that they offer a mental vacation from life’s everyday stresses. Finding time for breaks and quiet reflection is becoming increasingly difficult, and pampering can be a great way to restore a sense of balance. Andrea Morse, licensed massage therapist and owner of Cherry Hill Massage, says she can tell when her clients are slipping into a meditative state. As she helps them release tension in their bodies, their breathing slows. What she finds particularly rewarding is working with clients who doubt the health benefits of massage. Instead of extolling its virtues, she has learned to take a more Zen-like approach. “Over time,” she says, “they go over to the other side.” And I assure you, once you're there, you'll never go back.

“A long, hot, quiet bubble bath with candles, candles and more candles.” — Jackie O. “Sharing a glass of wine with the love of my life, my best friend, Scott. Lying in a hammock with my dogs beneath the sway of the swing, our chickens pecking the grass around us as the kitty climbs high in the tree for a nap and Scott and Suzanne lie in each other’s arms and share a glass of wine.” — Suzanne Tillinger

“My favorite form of pampering is a day at the spa with my girlfriends, getting a facial and a mani/pedi and a light lunch with a glass of wine.” — Dawn Orr “My favorite thing to do when I want to pamper myself is get a Swedish massage. It relaxes me and feels wonderful. Also, going on a ski trip with friends for a few days or lying on the beach listening to the sound of waves.” — Luisa Giménez Fuhlage

“I love to browse and study pieces of twoand three-dimensional art; it’s very relaxing, and there’s lots of imagining. Occasionally I collect a piece to add to the peace, harmony, joy and beauty I’d like for my home. Other than that, I swim or float through water.” — Lynn Frey

“To me indulgence is sitting on the couch, feet up, with a book and a drink.” — Jill Orr

“A day lounging at the beach, a massage, a visit to art galleries and a lazy lunch with friends. Oh, I feel relaxed just thinking about it.” — Smita Sadhu

“Retail therapy! But you can’t print that!” — Anonymous | 53

Welcome to the World Morgan (Moe) Brown Pa r e n t s : Jonathan and Leslie B i rt h w e i g h t: 8 pounds 11 ounces H e i g h t: 21 inches

What has surprised you most about being parents? Now that he’s smiling, I feel the really intense emotion and joy just looking at him. What do you look forward to the most as your child grows up? I cannot wait for him to start talking and being able to watch him learn.

Chloe Patterson Pa r e n t s : Adam and Shannon B i rt h w e i g h t: 6 pounds, 13 ounces

What is the most memorable thing that has happened to you since becoming a parent? After the birth of our daughter, seeing my husband walk our 3-year-old son, Clay, into the hospital room to meet his baby sister for the first time. When I saw my son's face glow while holding Chloe for the first time, I then knew our family was complete! It melted my heart to hear Clay whisper to his sister, “I love you; you are so tiny.” What is the best thing about being a mother? I think the best thing is being able to watch them grow and learn new things every day. It all happens in the blink of an eye! What did you not expect that happened? After being nervous for nine months about how I was going to care for two children, it ended up being easier than I expected. It wasn’t an easy adjustment, but every day got even easier.

Would you like to see your baby featured? Email your cutie to 54 | October/november 2011

If there is any of my talent that seems good, if any of the photographs stir your heart, if any seem beautiful and lovely, if any seem praiseworthy or if anything that I say or do has a profound and positive effect on you, then I give all the credit, all the praise and all the glory to God and my saviour Jesus Christ, in whose name, and by no other name under heaven, is salvation found.

We ALWAYS give you all of the images on disk - no matter what kind of photo shoot it is.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. | 55

the mommy chronicles | little white lies

Liar, Liar, Mom Jeans on Fire By jill orr


’d be lying if I said I always tell my children the truth. Although I’m sure it doesn’t make me a lock for Mother of the Year (that ship undoubtedly sailed the morning I served Fruit RollUps for breakfast), I don’t think it makes me unfit either. The truth is that telling a few well-intentioned white lies can actually be a fairly effective parenting strategy. And to be honest, sometimes it just gets me through the day. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not encouraging inventing such vast networks of lies that you need a spreadsheet to keep track. But our kids don’t need to know everything. Nor can they handle everything. You adjust what you choose to share with your kids as they get older and more mature. My kids are 7 and 10, and by this point I’d say 99.9 percent of the time, I tell them the whole truth. They both know where babies come from. They both know that nobody lives forever. And they both know Mommy’s hair doesn’t necessarily grow out of her head this color. The lie one chooses to tell ultimately depends on one’s motivation. More often than not, we fib to either keep our kids safe or to simplify a complicated situation. Below are some of the various lies, half-truths and fabrications I’ve told my children. Sadly, I can no longer get away with most of these.

I have lied in the best interests of my children: • The car engine won’t turn on until your seat belt is buckled. • Eating spinach will give you big muscles. • College is mandatory by law. • You’ll love this new kind of chicken (otherwise known as tilapia).

I have lied to save my children’s feelings:

• Yours was the best pinch pot in the whole class. • The shot will only hurt for a second. • That bunny in the road is just sleeping. • That is a hilarious knock-knock joke.

Then there are the lies I’ve told for completely selfserving reasons. • Only one Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup comes in a pack. • Santa won’t come until you’re asleep. • We’re out of batteries. • Mommy and Daddy are taking a nap. Of course, there are the societal and seasonal lies (think: holiday friends and dental darlings). These are things we tell our kids in the spirit of preserving their innocence and creating a sense of magic. The adult world is appallingly unmagical, and because they have the rest of their lives to live in it, I feel no guilt whatsoever in inventing a bit of wonder and joy while they are young enough to believe. Besides, these lies have an internal expiration date (usually between 6 and 10, depending on older siblings and know-it-all classmates). I believe these are victimless lies, and very rarely do they cause a child to feel betrayed when the truth eventually comes out. In fact, most kids play along long after they’ve stopped believing because they enjoy the charade so much. Undoubtedly, there are some parents out there who never tell their kids even the smallest of fibs. (They are probably the same people who use cloth diapers, eat only organic foods and drive electric cars.) If you are one of those parents, then good for you. I admire your resolve, your integrity and your discipline. But for the less virtuous among us, there are some instances when stretching the truth — or circumventing it entirely — sure comes in handy. Believe me.

Jill Orr is a stay-at-home mom of two (an odd title since she is rarely ever at home). In her pre-Mommy days, she graduated from the University of Missouri with an undergraduate degree in Journalism and a Masters in Social Work, with an emphasis on Children & Family Studies. But she wishes she would have gotten a PhD in What's For Dinner and How to Get Bubblegum Out of the Carpet. That would have served her better. Read her blog at

56 | October/november 2011

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Fueled by a creative mind and generous spirit, Alisha Moreland turned a simple idea into a growing means of raising awareness for the importance of early breast cancer detection. By Ellie Hensley | Photo by taylor allen | Styling by Alfredo mubarah


f you walk by a bright pink pumpkin nestled in an otherwise typical Halloween display at the bank or grocery store, will you notice it? What if it was covered in pink polka dots, glitter and rhinestones? There’s a serious message behind the fuchsia and feathers adorning Alisha Moreland’s pumpkins, but creating them with her is a good time for all. Moreland’s passion for the project and her infectious creativity turn what could be a somber advocacy group meeting into what she’s dubbed a “pumpkin painting party.” Every October for the past five years, Moreland and her helpers, called “Pink Warriors,” spray paint and decorate hundreds of pumpkins with a unique artistic flair and then attach a note that

58 | October/november 2011

reads, “Encourage a woman you care about to get her mammogram, or schedule yours today!” If her pumpkins help just one woman get herself checked, then in Moreland’s eyes, the effort was well worth it.

One was too many Moreland was working as a graphic designer for the Columbia Daily Tribune in 2007 when her manager, Vicky Gibson, was diagnosed with breast cancer after finding a lump on her chest in the shower. She received chemotherapy through a surgically implanted port, went through radiation treatments and lost her hair. She underwent a lumpectomy to remove the tumor as well as her lymph nodes, which caused her to get lymphedema. She eventually beat the cancer, but her long battle made Moreland think: Would it have been easier to beat if Gibson had caught it earlier? What could she do to prevent other women from going through the same thing? Watching one friend and colleague struggle for her life so bravely was more than enough. Settling on a game plan was the easy part. “What’s something for fall?” Moreland asks. “Pumpkins. And pink automatically stands for breast cancer awareness.” That was the beginning of Alisha’s Pink Pumpkin Painting Party. She encouraged friends and family to get involved and started a Facebook page to let anyone interested in volunteering know what time to come to her house in Sturgeon, Mo., to paint and decorate in her large shed. When each party is over, Moreland sends everyone home with

pumpkins to distribute in places where many people will see them, such as gas stations and doctors’ offices. “When I found out Alisha was painting pink pumpkins, tears came to my eyes and then smiles,” Gibson said in an email. Moreland’s pumpkins are the perfect project to engage her creative side and make her feel a sense of artistic release. The graphic designer in her couldn’t resist working out a color scheme that was meaningful to her. Pink stands for breast cancer awareness; black is for cancer because it reminds her of pain and darkness; silver represents hope or “a silver lining;” and white represents purity and health. As long as they follow the color scheme, volunteers have complete artistic license when decorating their pumpkins. Fake pearls, bras, ribbons — anything goes. “I have no shame!” Moreland says. “Anything I can hot glue on a pumpkin that is pink, that’s what I put on there.”

Pink Warriors You could call Moreland’s parties her side project. Her actual jobs include serving as art director for the Business Times Company; as wife to her husband, Paul; and mother to her two children: Lilli, 8, and Brodie, 6 months. Some days, her only free time for pink pumpkins is after the kids are asleep. “You just make time for things that you want to do and that you’re compelled to do,” she says. Another issue is cost. Moreland shells out an average of $300 a year for supplies. She knows she could probably make it back if she sold the pumpkins, but she doesn’t want to. She prefers to focus solely on raising awareness of the need for regular mammograms. She’s also hoping this year’s pumpkin crop will be better than the last, when too much rain caused what she calls “the great pumpkin shortage,” making them hard to find and very expensive. The outlook for her parties was looking dismal until Brandie Forsyth, a teacher from Paris, Mo., and her daughter, Saylor, suddenly donated an entire trailer full of pumpkins.

Dress provided by the Gown House

Moreland can’t count how many surprise Pink Warriors such as these have helped her along the way. “Once when I was spray painting pumpkins in my front yard, my neighbor came up and asked what I was doing,” she says. “When I told him, he gave me $20 and said, ‘Take this, and go buy yourself some more paint.’” But the strongest support comes from her family, the very first Warriors. Her husband helps her pack pumpkins, and Lilli has been helping her paint since she was 3. Her parties are also an opportunity for her to catch up with her two sisters, Heather Hoffman of Paris, Mo., and Missy Flickinger of Jacksonville, Mo. “We’ve always been close, so this is just the icing on the cake,” Moreland says. Advocating for breast cancer awareness has become, as Hoffman puts it, “a family thing.” Last year, Moreland’s father-inlaw, Terry Moreland, who owns TNT Ranch and Rodeo Company, hosted a Wrangler Tough Enough To Wear Pink rodeo in Moreland’s hometown of Shelbyville, Mo. For the event, which raised money for breast cancer charities, all the cowboys wore pink, and Moreland set up a pumpkin painting table. In August, 30 volunteers, 20 of whom were family, returned to Shelbyville to march in the Old Settlers’ parade wearing PPPP T-shirts. But the moment Moreland feels most proud of was last year when Lilli held up a pink pumpkin she had just painted and said, “This is going to make a woman go get her mammogram.”

After watching a friend and co-worker struggle through a diagnosis of breast cancer, treatment and recovery, Alisha Moreland began hosting the annual Pink Pumpkin Painting Party to raise awareness for the importance of early detection.

What’s Next? Word of pink pumpkin parties is beginning to spread. Moreland’s sisters and mother have dropped off pumpkins all over Paris, Jacksonville and Shelbyvillle. Last year,

Get Involved!

1. Purchase a Circle of Hope bracelet to wear in honor of someone you know who is going through cancer. Breast cancer survivor Laura Shrum and her friend Shelly Herman sell more than 100 varieties, ranging from $12 to $20, including a new pink bracelet for breast cancer every year as well as styles for MU, Rock Bridge and Hickman fans. If you are interested in buying a Circle of Hope bracelet or having the women come to an event you’re hosting, email for more information. 2. Save your yogurt lids to help end breast cancer. The Yoplait Save Lids to Save Lives program runs through Dec. 31. When you collect pink lids and redeem them, they’ll be tracked by zip code and Yoplait will donate 10 cents per lid up to $2 million to the local Mid-Missouri Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Redeem lids online at save-lids-save-lives/redeem-lids-online, or mail them to Save Lids to Save Lives, P.O. Box 9656, Grand Rapids, MN 55745-9656. 3. Bid on an “Artful Bra,” and look at all the beautiful, wacky and ornately decorated bras donated by local contestants for the annual Artful Bra Contest, sponsored by Ellis Fischel Cancer Center. Entries will be displayed at a reception and silent auction at the Tiger Hotel on Oct. 5 from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. All proceeds go toward breast cancer screenings and patient care programs at Ellis Fischel. Admission is $30 at the door or $25 in advance. To make your reservations, contact Charlene Johnson at (573) 882-6100. 4. See a one-woman play. On Oct. 20 to 22 at the Berlin Theatre, Dr. Heather Carver will perform Booby Trap, her second autobiographical comedy written about her struggle with stage-four breast cancer and how laughter helped her beat the disease. There will be a 7:30 p.m. showing on Friday and Saturday and a 3 p.m. Sunday matinee. This fundraiser is sponsored by a grant from the Komen Mid-Missouri Affiliate. Suggested donation at the door; call (573) 443-0577 or check out for more for more information.

a friend in Saline, Kan., took donations to paint pumpkins and was able to raise $2,500. And this month, the UF & Shands Medical Center in Gainesville, Fla., will host a pumpkin painting event to bring attention to its new cancer center. Lindy Brounley, communications director of UF & Shands, read about Moreland online, and with her permission they borrowed the concept. “The idea is awesome; it’s fun, it’s clever, it’s unique,” Brounley said. “We thought this would be a great opportunity to have our own significant event that gets the community involved and educates them a little about breast cancer awareness while we’re at it.” Moreland knows her young son, Brodie, could require her to make some changes to her schedule this October, but she has no plans to slow down. “I’ll keep doing it until I can’t hold a paintbrush.” Moreland says about painting pumpkins. “I have no intention of quitting any time soon. It’s fulfilling; that’s why I do it. It’s the least I can do.” Moreland is always looking for supplies and volunteers. To receive information about her next PPPP event, “like” the Facebook page for Alisha’s Pink Pumpkin Painting Party, or email her at | 59

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From The By Stephanie Detillier Photos by angelique hunter

After years of living in a war-torn country, Noe Rusaya and his family settled in central Missouri — a safe community but one with many cultural differences. Through his friendship with the Wheeler family, Noe has overcome many challenges and is now working to help other local refugees. Noe’s task is to visit these families to help prevent such problems. It’s a complex role, but Noe is the ideal man to fill it. He brings to the job both experience working as a public health supervisor and firsthand knowledge of the challenges refugee families face. In 2008, Noe, his wife and children moved to Columbia from Burundi as Congelese refugees. Although Noe had a college degree and work experience, his inability to speak much English severely limited his job prospects. It also made it nearly impossible for him to help his children with their homework or easily communicate with his neighbors. Then, Noe met Adam Wheeler and his wife, Jen, in 2009. An instant friendship developed as the Wheelers helped the Rusayas find stable jobs, improve their English and acclimate to the culture. After three years in Columbia, American life has become easier for Noe; his wife, Esperance; and their children, Heritier, 9; Beatrice, 7; Joshua, 4; and Jenny, 2. But each year, nearly 200 refugees establish their home in Columbia and face similar struggles. “If a kid has a problem, even if the parent goes to school, they can’t know what’s wrong,” Noe says. “But I can help them understand the problem and help them improve. Now I know many things, and I can teach other refugees many things.”

Esperance and Noe Rusaya, Congolese refugees, have formed a strong bond with Columbia residents Adam and Jen Wheeler. Noe, who had been praying for an American family, now calls Adam his brother.


n his new job with Tiger Pediatrics, Noe Rusaya helps fill an important health care gap. He works with the clinic’s refugee patients to ensure they understand the U.S. health care system, attend their appointments, take medicine as prescribed and make a healthy transition to American life. “In many cultures, you only go to the clinic if someone’s sick,” he says. “They don’t have checkups. That’s new. I help them translate;

respect their appointments; take them to the clinic, hospital or dentist.” Pediatrician Adam Wheeler hired Noe after noticing avoidable health problems develop in refugee children because of cultural misunderstandings. One patient developed severe complications because his Medicaid lapsed and his mother was unable to get him to appointments or give him his medication.

Building a career in a war-torn country Noe was born in South Kivu and grew up in Katanga, a province in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. In 1994, war and genocide escalated in neighboring Rwanda, and by 1996 it began to infiltrate his central African state and led to what would become Africa’s civil war. Despite the ongoing fighting and widespread poverty, Noe graduated from high school and studied public health for four years at the National University of Rwanda. In October 2000, he married | 61

rance, a woman who had grown up in the same village. In 2001, with his degree in hand, Noe and Esperance moved to Burundi, where many Congolese were living as refugees. “When I got to the refugee camp, I found many kids didn’t have a school,” Noe says. “I organized a school, and we started to teach children.” Noe served as the principal and a teacher in the school system, which enrolled more than 280 students, who specialized in either business or agronomy. During the next few years, the Rusayas moved several times between Burundi and the Congo, depending on which was safer. When Noe returned to the Congo, he landed a government job as a supervisor of area public health. The position required him to spend most of his days walking to his assigned region in the high mountains. It was a fulfilling job but one he had to leave when his family moved back to Burundi. Burundi refugee camps were considered relatively safer places where families could

find food and water provided by the Office of United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. On the evening of Aug. 13, 2004, however, a section of the Gatumba Refugee Camp in Burundi was attacked by rebels armed with bombs, guns and machetes. Gasoline was poured over some victims who were then attacked with fire. More than 150 people died, and more than 100 were injured in the massacre, which targeted a specific ethnic group, the Congolese Tutsi. Noe, Esperance, Heritier and Beatrice were living in another section of the camp. Although they survived the attack safely, it was dangerous for them to remain there. “After the massacre, we tried to go back to the Congo,” Noe says. “My daughter Beatrice was 2 weeks old. They said you can’t come back. We spent one week living outside in the border of Congo and Burundi. Some people helped us get food and water, but it was a hard time. When I imagined how my young

daughter stayed for one week outside …” His voice trails as he thinks about that moment. The Rusaya family was soon allowed to return to the Congo, where Noe became a supervisor for a nonprofit HIV program. Despite his career climbs, the Democratic Republic of the Congo remained a dangerous, poor country. The International Rescue Committee estimates that 3.8 million people died there between August 1998 and April 2004. Starvation and disease led to many of the deaths. Seeking a more stable lifestyle, Noe returned to Burundi and underwent a series of interviews seeking safer refuge through the UNHCR. In September 2008, Noe, Esperance, Heritier, Beatrice and Joshua left Burundi with hopes for a better life in America.

“It was very, very difficult. In Congo, I was a supervisor; here my first job was a housekeeper.” — Noe Rusaya Adjusting to American life Because the Rusaya family had no relatives in the United States, they had no say in what city they’d be placed. The only person Noe knew in Columbia was another refugee from his hometown. “The challenges were a lot because we were coming from a war-torn country,” Noe says. “In Burundi, there were mass murders and assassinations. Almost every day we would hear gunfire. When we came here, we never heard the guns again. If we saw someone who had a gun, even a policeman, there was anxiety. We were scared. But now we don’t have that problem.” The differences in culture, food, health care and education were vast and overwhelming. Noe, who spoke French and Swahili, vividly recalls the difficulties Heritier faced his first year of America school, as a first-grader at Paxton Keeley Elementary. “When the bus came, he said, ‘Dad, I don’t want to go to school,’” Noe says. “I asked him why. He said, ‘I don’t understand.’ I kept pressing him, and he kept refusing. But the bus took him to Paxton Keeley, and after three months he could understand.”

The Rusayas and Wheelers get together for birthdays, holidays and random gatherings. Top row, from left: Noe Rusaya, Jenny Rusaya, Esperance Rusaya, Adam Wheeler, JP Wheeler, Jen Wheeler. Bottom row, from left: Joshua Rusaya, Heritier Rusaya, Beatrice Rusaya, Noel Wheeler, Matt Wheeler 62 | October/november 2011

Becoming a Wheeler One January morning in 2009, Jen Wheeler spotted a dark, skinny man with his arm

stretched around his children at Christian Fellowship Church in Columbia. Her husband, Adam, had recently told her about a Congolese man named Noe whom he met at Boone Clinic. Jen immediately knew that this was Noe. During a break in the Sunday service, she found a college student who could speak French and help translate. She introduced herself to Noe and invited him and his family over for lunch. “We just connected right away,” she says. “Our relationship started that first day at the end of lunch. Noe said: ‘Adam, you’re a doctor. I need you to help me save my nephew who’s dying in Burundi.’” Jen and Adam weren’t sure how to respond. Noe’s nephew, Gloire, only about 7 years old, had developed a hip infection, and doctors at the University of Burundi didn’t have the expertise to treat him. They advised his family to travel to another country for care or return home and prepare for Gloire to die. Adam asked Noe to have Gloire’s father email him the boy’s medical records and scans. What happened over the next five months forever cemented the bond between the Wheeler and Rusaya families. Adam located a physician in Kenya who agreed to operate on Gloire. Coincidentally, on the day Gloire and his father flew into Kenya, Adam was flying out of the African country after visiting orphanages on unrelated business. Hoping to meet Adam as a surprise, Gloire’s father waited at the airport. “When Adam stepped out of the taxi, a tall, dark-skinned man asked, ‘Are you Adam?’” Jen says. “He was so grateful.”

God would give him a new family and new parents in America, and they weren’t sure what that meant,” Jen says. “But they’ve warmed up to him and fallen in love with his family.”

Rebuilding his career in Columbia Noe’s poor English made it difficult for him to find work in Columbia, where he began cleaning rooms at the Hampton Inn. His supervisor often had to point or demonstrate when giving instructions. “It was very, very difficult,” Noe says. “In Congo, I was a supervisor; here my first job was a housekeeper.” Jen met several refugee families such as the Rusayas who struggled to secure jobs and provide for their families because they didn’t speak English well. “It became burdensome to me,” she says. “I wished that someone would start a company and hire them all, but no one did. One day, I said, ‘OK, I'll do it myself.’” Jen, a trained journalist with two teachers as parents, knew nothing about opening a cleaning business; she literally Googled it. In January 2010, she opened Safi Sani, which means very clean in Swahili. In the company’s first year, she generated $70,000 in wages to refugee employees. The first employee she hired was Esperance. “She is such a perfectionist and always does a fantastic job,” Jen says. “When I first met her, she was kind of shy, and she doesn’t speak a lot of English. But over time as we got together, I saw what a loving mom she was.”

“We just connected right away. Our relationship started that first day at the end of lunch. Noe said: ‘Adam, you’re a doctor. I need you to help me save my nephew who’s dying in Burundi.’” — Jen Wheeler While Gloire was in Kenya recovering from his surgery, which was successful, his mother gave birth to a girl and named her Jen. Noe and Esperance’s youngest is also named Jenny in tribute to Jen Wheeler. “Ever since I went to Jen’s home, Adam has been my best friend and family,” Noe says. “I’m one of their family now. His dad is my dad. Even if I call home, I tell them I have another dad here.” Jen says Adam’s parents, who live on a farm in Bolivar, were a little shocked when they met Noe. “He told them he prayed that

Noe also worked for Safi Sani for a few months, particularly with its client Tiger Pediatrics. “I felt bad that he was cleaning the clinic when he was qualified to work for the clinic,” Jen says. “But I was happy that he was around health professionals and hoped he might connect with a physician and get a better job.” The Wheelers secured a donation to help Noe enroll in the Intensive English Program at the University of Missouri. The program enabled Noe to help his children with their studies. He says his kids still understand

Noe and Esperance grew up in the same Congolese village, and both found work and support in Columbia through the Wheelers. when he and Esperance speak in French or Swahili but all answer back in English. Wanting to provide support to more refugee families, Jen started City of Refuge, a nonprofit that helps refugees by filling in the gaps (such as providing baby clothes for an expectant mother) and connecting them to community resources. This summer, City of Refuge sponsored two health care clinic days at Tiger Pediatrics for Burmese and African refugees. “At the end of the day, Adam said he felt terrible that we’re only doing a D+ job taking care of refugees,” Jen says. Parents of many refugee patients don’t understand or follow through with doctor’s recommendations. Adam began considering hiring Noe to oversee the care of refugee patients but wasn’t sure how to cover his salary. He decided he’d apply for grants to help pay Noe’s salary, but in the meantime, he’d cover the costs personally. In August, Adam announced at a staff meeting that Noe would join them as a public health administrator for refugee patients. The other physicians told Adam they believed in his vision — and they wanted to share in the cost of Noe’s salary. For Noe, the job opportunity means a chance to provide for his family and continue his public health career in America. He’s trying to elevate his English skills and hopes to pursue a master’s degree in public health at MU one day. But the opportunity also means the chance to help others and repay the kindness shown to him by the Wheelers. “Something that has surprised me is how American people help people they don’t know,” Noe says. “They don’t know you, don’t speak the same language, are not the same color, but they help you. That means so much to me.” To contribute to the City of Refuge’s efforts in Columbia, visit City of Refuge on Facebook, or contact Jen Wheeler at (573) 814-1170 or | 63

64 | October/november 2011

fashion | dillard's

Wild Lady Unleash your animal instincts! This season, animal prints are the loudest roar, all species considered. Howl out your animal magnetism in these sassy styles from Dillard’s.

photos by Taylor Allen

by alfredo Mubarah

Vince Camuto “Polished Rocker” jacket, $195; Vince Camuto “Utility Bill” dress, $140; Dillard’s Sensitive Skin Collection bracelet, $25; Gianni Bini handbag, $89; Arturo Chiang shoes, $59.99.

Tahari jacket (part of suit set), $115; Dillard’s Crystal Collection necklace, $38; Calvin Klein dress, $99; Kenneth Cole Reaction clutch, $34.99; Vince Camuto “Leopard Pony” shoes, $118.

Dooney & Bourke handbag, $248; Chaus “Shade of Autumn” blouse, $59; Natasha bracelet, $38; Calvin Klein jacket, $149.50; Chaus “Shade of Autumn” dress pant, $69; Gianni Bini “Ferrari Red” shoes, $79.99.

Dillard’s Crystal Collection necklace, $38; Givenchy bracelet, $38; Fossil belt, $38; Chaus “Shade of Autumn” jacket, $139; Brahmin handbag, $345; Calvin Klein dress, $99.50; Anne Klein watch, $55; Sam Edelman shoes, $120.

Michael Kors handbag, $178; Peter Nygard “Autumn Animal” jacket, $139; Calvin Klein dress, $99.50; Vince Camuto “Glam Snake” shoes, $98. | 65

By Alfredo Mubarah, Lily Dawson and Teresa Klassen Photos by Angelique Hunter Hair and makeup by Kelani Salon & Spa

66 | October/november 2011

ow would women dress if their husbands chose their clothes? Three prominent Columbia women take on the challenge — and take center stage at the Missouri Theatre — after their better halves give them a makeover. Our associate publisher and resident stylist Alfredo Mubarah shares the results of this fun experiment. John and Janette Keller John is the vice president of commercial lending at The Bank of Missouri; Janette is a stay-at-home mother and registered nurse at University Hospital. Joe and Megan Bechtold Joe and Megan are the owners of Midway Truck Stop and stars of the reality TV show Truck Stop Missouri. Bill and Judy Harper Bill is a Realtor at Century 21, and Judy is a speech pathologist. | 67

Her style: Megan is very trendy and loves to keep up with fashion. She has one hang-up, however; color. She sticks to neutrals in her everyday wear and seldom allows colorful hues to enter her wardrobe.

His request: “Color, color, color!” said Joe. Joe loves Megan’s style, but wanted her to branch out of her comfort zone and explore the spectrum. He also asked for blousy tops and a dressy look for a night out.

The stylist:

Joe: Joseph Abboud Suit Jacket, Bingham's, $445; Robert Graham Pocket Square, Bingham's, $49.50; Stone Rose Shirt, Bingham's, $150; 34 Heritage Jeans, Bingham's; $165; Allen Edmonds Leather Belt, Bingham's, $95; Allen Edmonds Boulder Shoe, Bingham's, $195.

Megan: Sky Jaguar Top, Elly's Couture, $149; Hudson Skinny Jeans, Britches, $170; Gianni Bini Tracio Silver T-Strap Glitter Pump, Dillard's, $79.

We wanted to introduce color to Megan slowly, as not to scare her off. We incorporated colorful tops alongside dark skinny jeans and neutral shoes to balance the palate. The dress, in a matte sequin fabric, paired well with black suede booties to produce a fun look for evening.

The verdict: Megan did not like the colorful tops. She thought the fit was too billowy and reminded her of maternity wear. She liked the color of the turquoise top. “I like the color, but would prefer something more tailored” she confessed. The dress she loved, but not with the booties. “The dress is something I would wear, but just with nude pumps”.

Megan's Everyday Wear

Hair and makeup by Jerilyn McGuire.

One-Shoulder Sequin Dress, Britches, $55; Gold Earrings, Britches, $10.

68 | October/november 2011

Multicolor One-Shoulder Top, Britches, $38; Peacock Necklace, Britches, $15; Hudson Skinny Jeans; Britches; $170; Qupid Suede Nude Pumps, Breeze, $39; Anna & Ava Enamel Bangles, Dillard's, $20 each.

Her style: During the week Janette lives in workout clothes. As a mother of two, a half marathon runner and a gym rat, she has little time to get dolled up during the week. Her weekend wear is still casual, but always flats and jeans.

His request: “I would love to see Janette sparkle!” said John. “I think she would look great in a sequined top and a good fitting jean. Something edgy but tasteful.”

The stylist: We were able to take John’s ideas and glam them up with fun accessories such as leopard print heels and chunky jewelry. Balancing a sparkly top with a texturized cardigan or knee-length skirt kept the outfit sophisticated.

The verdict: Janette loved the tops and the fit of the jean. She was originally apprehensive about the heel height but was convinced by the end of the shoot that they enhanced her look and amped up the style factor. John said Janette looked “smoking hot in all the outfits.”

John: Scott Barber Shirt, Bingham's, $145; Bill's Khakis Jeans, Bingham's, $145; Red Knit Tie, Bingham's, $75; Allen Edmonds Leather Belt, Bingham's, $100; Allen Payne Shoes, Bingham's, $155. Janette: Calvin Klein Gold Top, Dillard's, $49.50; Calvin Klein Animal Print Skirt, $79.50; Faceted Clear Necklace and Earring Set, Breeze, $12.95; Tri-Color Bangle Bracelet, Breeze, $23; Gianni Bini Ferrari Red Julie Pumps, Dillard's, $79.

Janette's Everyday Wear

Hair by Shorty Walker; makeup by Brittany Robb. Express Gray Sequin Top, Blackberry Exchange, $16.95; Clear Pendant Necklace, Breeze, $3; Hudson Skinny Jeans, Britches, $170; Vince Camuto Melva Leopard Print Pony Hair Pumps, Dillard's, $110; Lily Dawson Designs Purple Bicolor Watch, Elly's Couture, $85.

Tiger Print Sequin Top, Britches, $30; Metallic Silver Open Knit Cardigan, Blackberry Exchange, $14.50; Hudson Skinny Jeans, Britches, $170; Ivory Bracelet, Breeze, $17.50; Silver Studded Hoop Earrings, Blackberry Exchange, $10; Gianni Bini Envy Peep-Toe Pump, Dillard’s, $89.99. | 69

Her style: Judy is a jeans girl, and at 4’10”, she finds it hard to shop for clothes. “I can never find anything that fits right, so my closet is very limited,” she told us before the shoot. She pairs basic pieces with sophisticated jewelry and little makeup.

His request: Bill wanted Judy to try outfits that were more youthful and bold printed dresses that fit her well.

The stylist: We put Judy in two great printed dresses that didn’t swallow her figure, but enhanced it. A loose fitting knit sweater and skinny jeans satisfied Bill’s request for a more youthful look. The staff at KeLani did an amazing job updating her makeup to evoke glamour. Ivory Knit Sweater, Britches, $40; Jessica Simpson Gray Sequin Tank, Dillard's, $79; Hudson Skinny Jean, Britches, $170; Lily Dawson Designs Chain Reaction Necklace, Elly's Couture, $99; Glaze Cognac Suede Bootie, Breeze, $39.95.

The verdict: Judy was the most shocked by her husband’s choices out of all three women. She thought the younglooking pieces would seem very unlike her, but once on, she was pleased and surprised with all three looks.

Judy: Laura Max Purple Printed Dress, Dillard's, $98; Black Teardrop Necklace, Britches, $25.

Bill: Perry Ellis Shirt, Dillard's, $69.50; Peter Millar Argyle Sweater, Bingham's, $245; 34 Heritage Jeans, Bingham's, $165.

Judy's Everyday Wear Hair by Rose Ditter and makeup by Alana Lucas.

70 | October/november 2011

Calvin Klein Pleated Leopard Print Dress, Dillard's, $99; Miss Me Jocelyn Suede Shoes, Elly's Couture, $54.99; Alex & Ava Enamel Bangle Bracelets, Dillard's, $20 each. | 71


Best Dads


Columbia Home reveals the winners of this year’s Best Dad Contest. by molly wright


side from Father’s Day, how often do we really celebrate dad? The man who’s been an important part of our lives from the minute we took our first breath is often an unsung hero. Yet he’s always been there, cheering us on through off-key recitals, endless tee-ball games and parent-teacher conferences, encouraging us to get back on the bike, reach for the stars and stand up for ourselves. We love him for teaching us how to drive, do tough math problems and survive puberty, whether his propensity is for ESPN and beer or crossword puzzles and fine wine. This summer, to give dads the kudos they deserve, Columbia Home sponsored the Best Dad Contest, and nominations poured in from the community. Although it was hard to choose just three, we did. Each received prizes from Mid-City Lumber and gift certificates from top-notch restaurants, such as Sycamore and Cherry Street Wine Cellar and Bistro. Additionally, on Oct. 27 at the magazine reveal party, these dads will be honored with Best Dad trophies.


72 | October/november 2011

William Benson

Andrew Ottinger

Dad to Noah, 5, and Amelia, 4 Nominated by wife, Heather Ottinger Originally from St. Louis, Andrew Ottinger has been with the National Guard for 19 years. But it was while working at a car dealership in St. Louis that he fell in love with receptionist Heather Lawson. In 2002, when he accepted full-time Guard duty, they relocated to Ashland and married in 2003. Deployed in Iraq from January 2004 to February 2005, Ottinger and his wife have two children: Noah, 5, and Amelia, 4. Like so many military dads, Ottinger, a helicopter instructor pilot, knows firsthand the difficulties in balancing parenthood and career. Away from home for extended periods of time, he has to work extra hard just to do the normal things other fathers take for granted. “I’ll drive overnight if I have to for every baseball game, every dance recital and every gymnastics class,” he says. “You only get one first step and one first time riding a bike.” Heather Ottinger, who nominated her husband for Best Dad, recognizes the sacrifices he makes and appreciates his dedication to his family. “You will never hear him complain about his job, and he is always there for his children when duty is not calling,” she says. Because Ottinger’s dad was also a helicopter pilot, he understands the necessity of providing a sense of normalcy when he’s home; he believes time is the most important thing a parent can give a child. Additionally, as an only child, he’s aware of how much the little things mean to him. “My wife and my kids, they’re everything,” he says. For Heather, the strong connection between her husband and their children touches her heart. “I don’t have the same relationship with my dad that Andrew has with his own children,” she says, adding that her father is not a part of her children’s lives. She also appreciates her husband’s thoughtfulness toward Noah and Amelia. “In the trunk of his car, he had a Barbie and a transformer for the kids,” she says recalling her husband’s recent homecoming presents after a 10-day absence. Additional deployment for Ottinger is basically a certainty, according to Heather. “I think it’s inevitable, but we don’t have any firm details yet,” she says. “He is a wonderful father and a wonderful husband but above all a soldier for us all.” Ottinger, who takes pride in his military service, hopes his sacrifices help other dads connect with their children. “I truly believe the little sacrifices I make by being gone, if by me doing what I do gives somebody else the opportunity to spend more time, more quality time with their kids that I choose to miss with mine, it’s worth it,” he says.

Jon Korte

Dad to Sophia, 8; Gwyneth, 8; and Charlie, 7 months Nominated by wife, Leslie Korte Jon Korte, who grew up in Columbia and attended Hickman High School, met his wife on eHarmony. A production manager for Weaver Manufacturing for seven years, Korte married Leslie Owen in 2009, and they have three children: Sophia and Gwyneth, 8-year-old twins from Jon’s first marriage, and 7-month-old Charlie. Korte had no idea his wife had nominated him for the Best Dad Contest. In fact, he found out when he received an email from the magazine announcing him as one of the winners. “I try every day to be a good dad, a good husband, but you never figure you are the best in Columbia by any means,” he says. According to Leslie Korte, her husband truly deserves the honor. She says his limitless imagination and desire to provide new experiences for his children, from family outings at the St Louis Arch to spelunking in Rock Bridge Park, make him a great dad. Korte, who has

taken Gwyneth and Sophia on father-daughter date nights for dinner and a movie, also reads to the children in the afternoons and before bed and spends time just being silly with the baby. Korte, however, considers all this just part of being a dad. He credits his own dad for most of his inspiration; he often does the same things with his children that his parents did with him and his brother. A favorite he shares with his own family is fondue nights, when they turn on music, play board games and eat fondue together. “I come from a long line of good fathers,” Korte says, “and mothers for that matter.” Korte says his father provided structure and rules, and he and his brother always knew their dad loved them. “He would give up anything for us,” he says. “My goal is to be as good a dad as he was to me.” Leslie appreciates her husband’s hands-on approach. “He’s dedicated to our family,” she says. Although Korte and his wife are thrilled about the Best Dad win, perhaps the twins are more so. According to Leslie, “They’re excited about the trophy!”

William Benson

Dad to Riley, 6; Brooke, 4; and Logan, 8 months Nominated by sisters, Beth Benson and Heather Lancaster When William Benson and Angie Kepford’s son Logan was born this year, they were ecstatic. It had been a long haul for the high school sweethearts, separated eight years when Benson’s family left Springfield and moved to Sturgeon, Mo. Even reuniting in 2008 through MySpace was less than ideal because Kepford was going through a divorce. It wasn’t until the following year when they settled down in Columbia, along with Kepford’s two small children, Riley and Brooke, that things starting to look up for the young couple. But when Logan was only 5 months old, Benson and Kepford received devastating news during their son’s checkup. Logan’s distended belly, which they had been assured was nothing to worry about, was due to a rare form of liver cancer called hepatoblastoma. According to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, the incidence of this disease is about one in one million children. Two days after the diagnosis, doctors removed a tumor the size of a large cantaloupe; but little Logan still must undergo several chemotherapy treatments along with additional tests and checkups as time goes on. When Benson’s sisters, Heather Lancaster and Beth Benson, nominated their brother for Best Dad, they knew contests were the farthest thing from his mind, but they wanted to show how proud they were of him. “William has stood strong for these children through this hard time without once saying anything to the effect that the children were just too much to handle,” Lancaster says. Benson, who says he had no idea his sisters were nominating him, believes any father would do the same. “I haven’t done anything a caring father wouldn’t do,” he says. “Now that he’s with Angie, he spends almost all his free time with the family,” Lancaster says. Although Benson says fatherhood wasn’t easy at first, he’s learned along the way. “There was a bit of a transition from being a single guy with no kids,” he says. “I was sort of fighting the current at first.” But eventually, he says he learned to take each new day in stride and just spend time with his kids. “If you go fishing, take them fishing. If you read a book, sit them down with a book.” For now, Benson hopes Logan’s treatments are successful. He also wants to protect all of his children from harm, which he says is essential as a dad. “You compare your childhood to theirs, shelter them …” he says. “I just want them to be happy and successful.” | 73

74 | October/november 2011

Edgar Ailor This year, the image symbolizing Columbia will be a local storefront, colorful and nostalgic. From the bright turquoise awning to the reflections of passing cars, it’s a portrait of one of The District’s oldest restaurants, frozen in time.


n 2006, a client commissioned Edgar Ailor to photograph some of Columbia’s historically significant places. Booches stood out in Ailor’s mind as one of the most historically significant places in Columbia. After all, he says, it has been around for 127 years. The Commission of Cultural Affairs agreed, and Ailor’s impressionist version of the Booches storefront is now the 2011 City of Columbia Commemorative Poster. There was something special about the entrance to Booches that caught his eye, and he had to take the picture. “That’s something you would like to capture — that flyswatter in the window and that writing on the door that says ‘see you at

By Nichole Ballard Photos by Edgar Ailor

church on Sunday,’” he says. “To me that is the heart of that picture.” For more than 30 years Ailor was an otolaryngologist: doctor, for short. Always holding on to photography and idolizing artists such as Ansel Adams, he finally retired in 2005, at the urging of his wife to pursue his hobby professionally. Today he is enjoying a successful career for the second time in his life. Ailor began photographing for his high school yearbook in Cape Girardeau, Mo. Never pursuing formal training in photography, he studied chemistry at Southeast Missouri State University. He met his wife there, after giving her some grief over a bad grade on an organic chemistry assignment, which

Opposite Page: Booches storefront, downtown Columbia. Above Left: Edgar Ailor, New Mexico Route 146, north of Hachita. Above Right: Burnham School, five miles east of Kremlin, Mont., just off U.S. 2. | 75

"We all share that enthusiasm, and we all get excited about the pictures we’re taking,” Ailor says. “I learned as much, or more, from them as they ever learned from me."

Jewelry Seasonal Decor

Top Left: Barn on Vermont Route 107. Left: Crater Lake and Wizard Island on Mt. Mazama, just miles off Oregon Route 62. Bottom Left: Leaning barn under a live oak at the edge of Bell City, La., on Route 14. Below: New Mexico Route 146, north of Hachita.




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she has never forgotten. They were married shortly after his first year of medical school in Columbia. As a successful private practitioner, Ailor never stopped noticing the beauty around him — a trait he passed on to his two children. Photography became a family affair at the Ailor house. "We all share that enthusiasm, and we all get excited about the pictures we’re taking,” Ailor says. “I learned as much, or more, from them as they ever learned from me." It never failed to surprise him how different each person saw the world. That fascination kept his shutter clicking. After a long career in medicine, Ailor’s wife suggested he retire early to pursue his passion for photography. So he retired in 2005 and opened Ailor’s Fine Arts Photography with his son. Laughing at the memory, he says, “My wife says it’s a good thing I was a physician before I was a photographer because I couldn’t have afforded it otherwise.” | 77

78 | October/november 2011

book club | The little bride

Seeking the American Dream Review of Anna Solomon’s The Little Bride


nna Solomon, Pushcart Prize-winning author of the novel The Little Bride, has a fondness for Columbia. In 2010, she won the Missouri Review’s Editors’ Prize, and the literary journal paid for Solomon to fly to Columbia from her home in Providence, R.I., for a reading and celebration in her honor. That evening, Solomon charmed the small crowd that gathered for the occasion and read from her winning story, “The Long Net,” alongside the contest’s poetry and nonfiction winners. In her debut novel, which follows 16-year-old Jewish mail-order bride Minna Losk on her trans-Atlantic journey from Odessa to a homestead that is little more than a cave in the prairie wilds of late 19th-century South Dakota, Solomon employs the same elegant prose that caught the attention of the Review’s editorial team. With spare language that reflects the starkness of Minna’s new life, Solomon tells an affecting story of a young girl’s desire to strike out for America in hopes that it will have more to offer her than the City of Thieves, where, orphaned, she works as a maid for a temperamental woman of questionable virtue.

Hope for a better life

When she signs on with Rosenfeld’s, a mail-order bride service, Minna dreams of living in a well-appointed home in a glamorous American city. Instead, upon arrival in South Dakota, Minna meets Max, her serious, religious husband whose farm is on the brink of failure, if not there already. Living with them in their one-room home are goofy Jacob and handsome Samuel, Max’s sons from a previous marriage. The days are dull and the labor hard. When winter comes, they are marooned on the prairie, and starvation threatens them. Although Solomon, in an author’s note at the end of the book, says she “trans-

By Keija Parssinen

formed, discarded and created facts for the purpose of telling Minna’s story,” her thorough historical research is evident throughout the novel, from details about the period’s food and clothing to descriptions of a Jewish colony near Minna’s homestead. The result is a compelling work of fiction grounded in fascinating historical fact.

Coping through understated grace What menaces the ill-matched couple most is the attraction that develops between Minna and Samuel. Some of Solomon’s most charged, beautiful scenes occur when she describes the fraught interactions between repressed Samuel and curious Minna. The seasons pass, and Solomon creates a vivid portrait of both Minna’s isolation and her growing sense of connection to her family. Still, the reader senses she cannot surrender her dreams entirely to Max’s asceticism, so readers move through the pages of the book as patiently as Minna, waiting to see what will go wrong. And in ruthless frontier fashion, go wrong it most certainly does. Solomon’s storytelling is so deft that even the most horrifying developments pass through Minna’s consciousness with an understated grace, a reflection perhaps of the emotional distance Minna has created between herself and others. With great subtlety, Solomon creates a memorable heroine, an unlikely frontierswoman who becomes, at her core, the embodiment of the American Dream of self-betterment.

Feat ured Bo o k C l u b : The N i ne L i ves Book Club Founded 20 years ago by Jan Swaney and Smita Sadhu, the Nine Lives Book Club has certainly earned its name. Over the years, the members have come together to read great literature and continue cultivating the lifelong friendships that have emerged from the group. Of the club, Swaney says: “Our group, the Nine Lives, is now as much about friendship as it is the book, for together we have experienced many of life’s passages: birth, child rearing, home remodeling, career change, the empty nest, divorce, wedding planning, chemotherapy and fire. Through these many changes, we’ve come to realize that our group is a constant — death, taxes and the Nine Lives.” Recent books the women have enjoyed include Stormy Weather by Paulette Jiles and this year’s Columbia One Read, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. “Our first book was Alice Walker’s Possessing the Secret of Joy,” says member and Columbia Home contributor Nancy Yang. “At the time, most of us didn't know each other very well, and here we were discussing female circumcision. Fast forward to 2011, and there’s little we don’t talk about — except, occasionally, the book.” Do you belong to a book club you’d like to see featured in Columbia Home? Tell us about it on our Facebook page,

Keija Parssinen received an M.F.A. in fiction from the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was a Truman Capote fellow. Her debut novel, The Ruins of Us, will be published by Harper Perennial in Jan. 17, 2012. Keija directs the Quarry Heights Writers' Workshop, a community for Columbia's creative writers. To find out more about the workshop, please visit the QHWW website, quarryheightsworkshop.

Members: Nancy Carper, M.B.A., C.P.A., independent financial advisor and owner, True Restoration Homes; Lynn Frey, R.N., M.N., clinical instructor of nursing, MU Sinclair School of Nursing; Luisa Fuhlage, freelance certified English-to-Spanish translator and Spanish instructor, MU; Dr. Mary Muscato, hematologist-oncologist, Missouri Cancer Associates; Dr. Vickie Park, emergency room physician, St. Mary's Hospital in Jefferson City; Smita Sadhu, independent investment analyst; Dr. Jan Swaney, chief medical officer, Longitude Health Inc.; Dr. Barbara Tellerman, radiologist, Boone Hospital Center; Nancy Yang, freelance journalist and frequent contributor to Columbia Home | 79

80 | October/november 2011

diy | sidewalk chalk

Wine Cork Monogram Put those extra corks to use with a simple custom monogram project B y b e t h sn y d e r

Do you have a jar of corks sitting around, waiting for a little craft project? This is an incredibly simple project with just a


Make the template for the letter or shape that you wish to use. I just made a giant “w” and then blew it

few supplies and makes a fabulous custom housewarming,

up on the copier at 200 percent and

wedding or holiday gift.

taped the pieces togeter. You might want to do this part on cardstock so you can cut the shape out and use it as a backing board.

H e r e ’ s w h at yo u ’ l l n e e d to g e t s tarted: • 50-100 wine corks (get to drinking)

• Enlarged copies of your monogram or shape

• Hot glue gun and about 10 glue sticks

• Soda tab


Gather your corks and lay them out on the shape to be sure you have enough and to practice before you get the glue gun going.


Beg in the gluing! Heat up your glue gun and have plenty of extra sticks ready. One by one, apply a g enerous amount of hot glue to a cork and firmly press that cork to the previous one. Hold for 15-30 seconds for best results. Continue on with the remainder of the corks.


After the shape is completed, gently flip it over and glue any wobbly spots from the back. I used quite a few glue sticks in the process just to be extra sure that it would stick together. | 81


Find yourself a canned beverage and drink it. Now pop the top off, bend it a little and hot glue it to the back of your cork letter. You might need to use two or three, so you may have to drink another beverage. Darn.


Hang your new monog ra m p ro u d ly !


Gather lots more corks than you think

you’ll need. I used about 70 for this project. If you don’t have enough corks, you can cut them all in half with a sharp scissors, and you’ll

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have double the number! Go to your favorite watering hole and ask them to save you some corks. They always have plenty and are happy to see them not go to waste.

entertainment | happenings about town

8 Things

You must do This Autumn

by Melanie Lynch


t. 1 5


MU Homecoming Parade

Get decked out in black and gold to celebrate the University of Missouri’s 100th Homecoming at the homecoming parade on Saturday, Oct. 15. About 150 floats, marching bands and walking banners will begin the morning parade at the corner of Tiger Avenue and Rollins Street with the theme “A Century of Coming Home.” “The floats will celebrate Mizzou and celebrate the tradition of homecoming,” says Carrie Bien, coordinator of student programs for the Mizzou Alumni Association. Two grand stands, one in front of the MU Student Center and the other in front of the new city building on Broadway, will announce each float, band and organization as they trek through campus and downtown Columbia on the one-and-a-half-mile parade route. Cheer on the student residence halls, Greek chapters, student organizations, local businesses and charities with 35,000 to 40,000 other spectators as the entries are evaluated and judged on the overall design, spirit of the participants and creativity. After the two-hour parade, join your fellow tigers at other homecoming activities, such as the Romp, Chomp and Stomp Tailgate hosted by the Mizzou Alumni Association on Carnahan Quad and the football game versus the Iowa State Cyclones. “The Mizzou Homecoming parade is a really unique parade,” Bien says. “It’s a rare occasion where the students and community come together to celebrate Columbia and the university.”

84 | October/november 2011


Hatton Craft Fair


Rain’s 17th Annual Wine & Art Gala


Tiger Night of Fun

Take a country drive to Hatton, Mo., for the 39th Annual Hatton Arts & Crafts Festival on Saturday, Oct. 1 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Many families go every year as a tradition, and about 6,500 people from five different states attend. The event is sponsored by the Hatton Extension Club and takes the whole town to help run. Start off your morning with homemade doughnuts and cinnamon rolls. Then peruse more than 165 exhibitors in three buildings full of country climate and crafts. The vendors will be selling homemade creations including artwork, dolls, toys, fall crafts, floral arrangements and seasonal items to decorate your home. There will be free mule and wagon rides to entertain the tykes as well as plenty of pies and other food to fill your hungry bellies. To get to Hatton, which is about 20 miles from Columbia, take I-70 E. and get off at the Hatton exit.

Orr Street Studios will host Rain’s 17th Annual Wine & Art Gala from 6 to 10 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. 6. Rain is a nonprofit organization that has been active for almost 20 years and is aimed at helping those afflicted with and educating the community about HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. At Rain’s Wine & Art Gala, sip wine with friends and munch on hors d'oeuvres while admiring local art. The theme of this year’s gala is pop, as in pop art. Try your best at the traditional wine toss for $10, and take home a bottle of wine for trying and a bottle for each time you get a ring around the wine bottle. Tickets are $30 for individuals and $50 for couples. Proceeds from the event will go to benefit those who are diagnosed with or are affected by sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS in the mid-Missouri area. Tickets can be purchased online at or at the Rain office at (573) 875-8687.

Come as you aren’t to the Hearnes Center for the Tiger Night of Fun from 6 to 8 p.m. on Halloween for a free, safe alternative to trick-or-treating. Costumed volunteers and organizations will hand out candy at booths filled with games and activities to kids younger than 12. Have your face painted, and get a picture taken at the different decorated sets — but don’t scare the photographer. You can bounce like a kangaroo at the bounce house even if you’re not dressed like one and try your luck at the duck pond. The boys and ghouls can test their aiming skills at the ring toss and leave at the end of the night saying, “Fangs for the great time.”


27th Annual Fall Arts & Crafts Show

Get some holiday shopping done at the 27th Annual Fall Arts & Crafts Show at the Hearnes Center Fieldhouse on Sunday, Nov. 6. About 5,500 people will attend the show, which begins at 11 a.m. and lasts until 4 p.m. Roughly 250 booths will have handmade crafts for sale including jewelry, art, photography and quilting. “Anything that’s handmade, we’ll see it there,” says Kathy Ungles, Mizzou Sports Park event/facility coordinator. The tickets can be purchased at the Hearnes box office the day of the event and are $3 for adults and $1 for children 6 to 12; children 5 and under are admitted for free. Payment for any arts and crafts purchased depends on the vendor. Concessions will also be available.




University Concert Series – Messiah

Every child in the history of holidays has been drawn to the sweet appeal of Halloween: candy, costumes, candy and the thrill of a night dedicated to scares (and did we mention candy?). The problem for parents is finding the perfect place to take the kids trick-or-treating and getting the quest for treats finished before bedtime. Luckily, The District is again hosting its annual Halloweenie, a safe event catered to families with young kids. Restaurants and stores choose whether they want to participate, and new ones are participating every year, says Persephone Dakopolos, director of business services at The District. “It’s mostly on Broadway and Ninth Street,” she says, though the event is expanding toward the North Village Arts District. Halloweenie has been around for at least 11 years, so it’s a well-established event. Dakopolos expects between 200 and 300 children to attend this year. “My Secret Garden does a Halloween sketch every year,” she says. “They start off the night around 4 o’clock, so all the kids like to start there and work their way around.” Halloweenie is free and open to the public at The District on Friday, Oct. 28 from 4 to about 6 p.m. Call The District at (573) 4426816 for more information, and stop by for a frightfully good time.

On Thursday, Nov. 17 at 7 p.m., you will be in awe as you listen to Choral Union, University Singers, University Philharmonic and guest soloists perform Messiah, one of George Frideric Handel’s most-loved works. This performance is a wonderful way to start the holiday season off right and put a smile on your face. This traditional piece was first performed in 1978 by Choral Union and chronicles the life of Jesus even before it begins. In the first part of the work, the Old Testament prophets predict Jesus’ birth, and later God’s angels announce the birth to the shepherds. Part II follows Jesus Christ’s Passion, death, resurrection and ascension into Heaven as well as the spreading of the Gospel. The last part of Messiah is comprised of the Day of Judgment prediction and victory over death and sin. Put on by the University Concert Series, the cost is $19 for general admission into Jesse Hall.


Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival

Pick a pumpkin in small-town, Mo., on Oct. 8 and 9 at the 20th annual Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival. The festival is from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on both Saturday and Sunday. This town festival is throughout all of Hartsburg and is full of food, crafts, music, ponies, a parade and of course pumpkins. Hartsburg is at the southern tip of Boone County, about 23 miles from Columbia. It’s a quaint town known for its hospitality, friendliness and clean white houses, with a population of only 108. “It’s really amazing to other people that for a very tiny town so many people come to our pumpkin festival,” says Nancy Grant, who is part of the festival planning committee and expects between 15,000 to 20,000 people to come to the festival each day, many from St. Louis, Kansas City and out of state. Some visitors come back year after year. For many teenagers, this festival was part of growing up. The first festival was held in 1991, Grant says, and had humble beginnings. “It started with eight of us sitting at the Hartsburg Café drinking coffee on Saturdays wondering how to attract more people to come to Hartsburg.” This group was the Hartsburg Bike and Social Club, which still sponsors the event. The goal was to attract at least 1,000 people to the festival, which would benefit the town’s two churches and the club. The group took pumpkin cheesecake to local radio personalities, who raved about the cheesecake on the air and gave the festival publicity. The first Hartsburg Pumpkin Festival surpassed its goal with 6,000 attendants. This year, around 200 crafts and food vendors will set up their booths and tents along the streets and take over the little town of Hartsburg. Get a caricature done of your family, buy some baskets and other crafts, get lost in a corn maze, enjoy delicious pork tenderloin and see Hartsburg evolve from a small population to a bustling boom town.

t. Oc

8-9 | 85

86 | October/november 2011

on the web | Party planning

Party Planning Blogs Get ready to throw a party! These blogs have just what you need to charm your guests, plan your menu and enjoy your next top-notch soiree. b y La u r e n Y o u ng

Ideal Party | Ideal Party Blog is full of delicious recipes that would be a hit at any party. The photography from a May 26 post even makes pea soup look glamorous and appetizing. In particular, the recipe for homemade mini French baguettes (April 14 post) looks rather tasty. Ideal Party is based out of London and offers home delivery, but it is doubtful they deliver across the pond in Missouri. However, the wonderful recipes from Chef Bertrand Munier are sure to bring a European flair to any party.

Pretty Domestic Events Justine, the founder of Pretty Domestic Events, was inspired to start her blog after planning her own wedding. Her passion for event planning fills the posts on Pretty Domestic. Her elegant style is very appealing and works well for multiple occasions including baby showers and weddings. Charming icons at the top of the page make navigation through the blog easy. The party planning section in particular has some useful steps to follow when planning a party, such as RSVP etiquette and dress codes.

Hostess with the Mostess | Hostess with the Mostess is full of charming, inspirational ideas on how to make that next gathering an event to remember. The website was founded by Jenn and Sonny Sbranti to fill a void in the party planning process by providing ideas for parties while including a list of the items used in all of the projects. Hostess with the Mostess is full of great DIY crafts, recipes and party theme ideas. The blog covers every sort of party from a scuba dive themed birthday party (June 9 post) to a murder mystery engagement party (May 11 post). Concise instructions and vivid photos make it easy for even the least experienced party host to duplicate crafts found on the blog.

Peo p le You Should Follow Connect to Columbia at

@mizzoufootball 6 Consecutive Bowl Games, 40 Wins in 4 Years @StudioBDanceCtr Instruction in Ballroom, Latin, Swing and more! @CoMoParksandRec Creating Community through People, Parks and Programs @WomensNetworkMO A division of the Columbia Chamber of Commerce.

One Charming Party | From road trips and back to school to Father’s Day and everything in between, One Charming Party is sure to provide inspiration for many gatherings to come. The easy-to-navigate sidebar lists posts by themes, which makes finding the right details for your upcoming party a snap. One Charming Party has delicious Halloween treats and charming kids’ table activities for Thanksgiving that are perfect for this holiday season.

Lauren Young is an avid blogger, ballroom dancer and traveler. She does not condone the use of hearts as replacements for the dot over a lower case I. Read her blog at | 87

88 | October/november 2011

city scene | GOLF TOURNAMENT

Columbia Orthopaedic Group 2nd Annual Family Health Center Golf Tournament

Casey Mankin, Josh Mankin and David Paul

Brooke Berkey and Renee Cosner

Mariel Liggett

From left: Ryan Euliss, Mike Hackman, Steve Murphy and Matt Lucas

Jeff Echelmeier, CPA, Steve Sowers, Brian Marcks and Dan Clapp a ll enjoy ria Cru CEO Glo r. d e n rt a a g C on on Steve L ith Dr. R laugh w


90 | October/november 2011

Mike Messer

The tournament was held on Monday, Aug. 29 at The Club at Old Hawthorne, Columbia, Mo., to raise money for people in need at the Family Health Center.


Commemorative Poster Party

Shannan Baker, Chris DeLong and Joyce Gelina

Judy Harper, Mayor McDavid and Ed Ailor Ed Ailor

Ken Greene and Melody Marcks

2011 Commemorative Poster Winner

Bob Jacaway and Ken Redders

Each year, the City of Columbia Office of Cultural Affairs (OCA) produces a Commemorative Poster in celebration of the arts locally. The poster is unveiled at the OCA’s annual Poster Party, a get-together that raises funds for the OCA community arts programming and arts education efforts. This year, the Poster Party took place on Aug. 6 at the home of Jeff Viles, with donations totaling more than $10,000. Mayor Bob McDavid and his wife, Suzanne, served as honorary co-chairs of the event and helped unveil the poster, a reproduction of Columbia artist Ed Ailor’s photography titled Booches—Since 1884. | 91 | 91

city scene | PINK PURSUIT

2nd Annual Pink Pursuit

Dakota Melson, Noah Timko, Nate Egharevba, Parks Boeschen, Jacob Bickford, Mike Stannard, Bo Bell, Ian Patterson, Shawn Gaines, Brad Troyer, Andre McKinnon and Carl Bivens


ndt, Denise M

, Marti Waiga

Susan Woods

Ryan Krueger and Teri Krueger

Participants enjoyed restaurant crawl and trivia contest in The District followed by a silent auction at Orr Street Studios. All proceeds went to local breast cancer research and treatment at Ellis. 92 | OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2011

92 | October/november 2011

Doris Shedd and

Liz Schulte

Teri Krueger and Ryan Krueger

city scene | Roots n blues n bbq Festival

Roots N Blues N BBQ


d Molly Jo

mayer an

chlichen Ashley S

Vishaal Khan

na, Jonnie Lo

Robin Nes tler (big gl asses) and Ryan Nestl er (boa, w ings)

Franco and Po

lly Sweitzer

Jackie Baug

her and Alfr

edo Mubar ah

Mary Colgin (princess), Leela Joshnani (pirate)

Sadie S., Grace O. and Hannah C.

Festivalgoers play dress-up at the VIP tent at the annual Roots N Blues N BBQ. Crowds turned out for the competitive barbecue contest and the two-day lineup of renowned rock, blues and soul artists. | 93 | 93

Home Bound



Ag e : 2 years old B r e e d : Beagle/Terrier mix (male) T e mp e r a m e n t : Shy, sweet, needs patient home with extra love.

Ag e : 2 years old B r e e d : Golden Retriever mix (female) T e mp e r a m e n t : Friendly, independent, needs big yard to run in.





Ag e : 7 years old B r e e d : Terrier mix T e mp e r a m e n t : Shy at first, warms up quickly; loves to cuddle, very affectionate.

Ag e : 1 years old B r e e d : Grey/White Tabby T e mp e r a m e n t : Loves to be held. Sweet and playful.

94 | October/november 2011

These friendly faces are at the Central Missouri Humane Society.

Ag e : 2 1/2 years old B r e e d : Boxer T e mp e r a m e n t : Sweet, deaf. Will do great in a home with no small children or cats.

Ag e : 1 year old B r e e d : Short hair T e mp e r a m e n t : Sweet, tolerant, loves to be held.



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ADVERTISER INDEX 1canoe2........................................................... 18 Academy Of Fine Arts...................................... 10 All Vacuum Care...............................................25 Angelique Photography....................................35 Bleu Restaurant & Wine Bar.............................78 Boone County National Bank............................. 3 Boone Hospital................................................. 12 Boys And Girls Town Of Missouri......................77 Buchroeder's............................................94, 100 Busenbark Carpet Outlet.................................89 Calena's Fashions............................................42 Carlisle Collection............................................ 31 Carole Patterson Photography.........................43 Carpet One......................................................64 Columbia Appliance.........................................82 Columbia Facial Plastic Surgery.......................54 Columbia Parks & Recreation...........................83 Commerce Bank............................... 90,91,92,93 Academy of Fine Arts....................................... 10 CoMo Realty.................................................... 10 Concannon Plastic Surgery.............................. 19 Cultural Homestay International......................82 Custom Surface Designs..................................97 David Owens Photography...............................55 Designer Kitchens & Baths...............................55

Dogwood Solar.................................................60 Downtown Appliance......................................... 2 Dr. Gregory H.Croll, Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery....................................42 Dr. Kent Willett DDS.........................................35 Fechtel Beverage & Sales Inc............................. 8 Focus On Learning...........................................96 Hockman Interior Design.................................33 House Of Brokers.............................................96 Innovative Designs...........................................50 Interior Design Associates............................... 31 Isle Of Capri.....................................................56 JC Mattress......................................................99 Joe Machens Ford/Lincoln/Mercury................. 4 Johnston Paint & Decorating............................95 Kerry Bramon Remodeling & Design.................. 7 Kliethermes Homes............................................ 9 Lifestyles Furniture..........................................57 Majestic Homes...............................................64 Mary Moss.......................................................45 McAdams Limited............................................88 Mid-City Lumber Co.........................................50 Mid-West Remodeling......................................78 Missouri Contemporary Ballet...........................11 Moon Valley Massage Therapy.........................45

New Life Community Church............................44 Organize That Space........................................60 Petals For You..................................................39 Pure Audio.......................................................39 Reece And Nichols...........................................88 Room 38..........................................................86 S. Stewart & Co., LLC....................................... 76 Salon Envie...................................................... 71 Shelter Insurance Agents................................. 71 Spillman Contracting.......................................37 Studio Home....................................................49 Superior Garden Center/Rost Landscape........86 Sycamore.........................................................43 Tallulah's..........................................................40 Taylor Allen Photography..................................80 The French Laundry & Alterations...................... 6 The Schaefer House.........................................57 The Strand.......................................................39 Truescape Landscaping....................................33 University Of Missouri Health Care.................... 5 We Always Swing Jazz Series...........................99 Williams And Hussey Eyecare.......................... 14 Wine Cellar & Bistro.........................................80

Columbia Home & Lifestyle magazine is published by The Business Times Co., 2001 Corporate Place, Suite 100, Columbia, Mo., 65202. (573) 499-1830 Copyright The Business Times Co., 2008. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited. | 97

the last word | Barb schlemeier

Too Grand to Cut Short After two cancer diagnoses and a grueling round of chemotherapy and radiation the second time around, Barb says her life makes it all worth it. by Barb Schlemeier


our blood runs cold when you are diagnosed with cancer. I’ve received this diagnosis twice during two very different stages of life; the last incident occurred only three years ago. Although I was shocked to get cancer the first time in my early 20s, the second diagnosis was the most devastating to me. The time of the second diagnosis was 2008, and part of the overwhelming nature of the diagnosis was the rarity of the form of cancer. I had squamous cell carcinomas, a fast-acting cancer when not identified early. The doctor began discussing treatment options, and I started a grieving process. Denial was my first response. I’m a very private person and really did not want to share with anyone other than my family and closest friends what was happening. Also, my thought process was distorted, and I thought if I did not talk about it, somehow it was not real. Reality set in quickly enough when I started an aggressive treatment plan to combat the cancer. Surgery was the first part of the plan followed by a cocktail of radiation and chemotherapy. My treatment included seven weeks of daily radiation and two series of chemo 24 hours a day. I carried a fanny pack filled with the chemo medicine around my waist all day for seven weeks. I slept sitting up and walked around with the constant reminder of the potent chemical entering my blood stream every second of the day. Then the side effects kicked in. I thought the doctors were overstating when they warned me “the treatment will make you want to die.” They were correct. A few of the tolerable side effects were queasiness and nausea, but the real pain started with the vomiting, mouth sores, body pain, weakness and insomnia. I also suffered from burnt skin from the radiation. When I was really sick, my mind decided to escape the painful physical reality. I don’t remember when it happened, but during that period of time, I was unaware of my surroundings. I didn’t know where I was, but I did know that I was in a mentally frightening place. During that time I had a dream that a friend, who had died of cancer, invited me to join her. When I awoke, I decided it was time to begin psychological healing to help get me through the process. I do believe true strength comes from within, but I also believe I derived much of my strength from my loving family and friends. Five weeks into the seven-week treatment plan, I could no longer be without hospital care. I lost my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes and 30 pounds. I was a sorry sight and not very nice to those I love the most. Doctors placed me on a morphine drip and dozens of other drugs to help me get through the treatment. After two and a half weeks in the hospital, it was finally time for me to go home. My stay at Boone Hospital was above and beyond what one would expect. My doctors and nurses were both warm and professional. Two young nurses in particular gave me an unbelievable amount of love and support in addition to being the best health care providers ever. One even made me a beautiful pair of earrings while the other came in on her day off to tell me goodbye the day I was dismissed. Despite the incredible care, the day I was dismissed I told my husband, “If the cancer reoccurs, I would not go through it again.” Three years later, I have changed my mind. Life is too grand to cut short. I want every single day that is given to me. I love my family and friends so very much. I only wish I had more space to write about how wonderful they are. Finally, my hair, eyelashes and weight returned. I could walk more than two minutes without sitting down, and my legs were now able to take me where I wanted to go. I started back to the gym wobbling and shaking but determined to get my strength back. Then an opportunity arose to prove to everyone that I really was well. I won’t place blame on the loved one who convinced me it was a good idea; however, I did end up committing to compete in the fifth annual Dancing With Missouri Stars. It was frightening. As good fortune would have it, as with my family, friends and medical care providers, I had the most amazing dance partner who was a true professional — so much so, he even made me look good. 98 | October/november 2011





012 JA ZZ S 1/2 E 01 • 1995-2012 •


season No. 17 continues. You’re going to love the thousands of notes it brings. Tickets to all concerts now on sale.

Still Available: Popular “6-Ticket Sampler.” Includes TWO tickets to Chucho Valdés & Afro-Cuban Messengers plus FOUR (4) tickets to any show or combination of shows including additional tickets to Chucho Valdés. Cu pre ba’s pi a n e m i ne n F ir s i s t ret u t r t app Colum ns! bi ea mor rance i a n e th a n de c a a de !


Chucho Valdés Afro-Cuban Messengers MU College of Arts & Science Week “Signature Concert”” Dr. Carlos Perez-Mesa Memorial Concert

‘‘Jazz in the District’’ 11/6/11

‘‘Sundays @ Murry’s’’

Last chance to purchase “Sundays @ Murry’s” Packages (10/16/11)

10/16/11 John Scofield Jazz Qt.

2/23/12 Benny Green Trio

Feat. Peter Washington & Kenny Washington

3/8/12 Artist in Residence

Russell Malone w/ MU Concert Jazz Band

Director, Arthur White

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René Marie

12/4/11 Nilson Matta’s

Brazilian Voyage

with Anne Drummond & Vic Juris

1/22/12 Ravi Coltrane Group

3/18/12 Matt Wilson’s Arts &

Crafts Feat. Terell Stafford, Gary Versace & Martin Wind

4/29/12 Tia Fuller Quartet

MU College of Arts

& Science

The City of Columbia Office of Cultural Affairs | 99

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Columbia Home Magazine - October/November 2011  

Columbia, Missouri information and entertainment

Columbia Home Magazine - October/November 2011  

Columbia, Missouri information and entertainment