Face of the
mom Taking it
Power of negotiation
Home Tour Modern conveniences with old-fashioned craftsmanship
Events Events Events An entire calendar full of fun
a p r i l / m ay 2 0 1 1
Columbia's Modern Day Rosie the Riveter Page 46
w o m e n a t wo r k i s s u e
2 | April/may 2011 â€˘ columbiahl.com
columbia home | 3
photo by Carole Patterson
Ed ito r i a l Betsy Bell, Publisher BetsyB@businesstimescompany.com
A love for all seasons My daughter, Georgia, reminds me daily of the blessings and challenges of being a mother. Shaping our children’s lives keeps us constantly on our toes. We’re continually looking for ways to better protect, educate and love our children, all the while balancing careers, husbands and home. I would have it no other way. In today’s busy world, women face more challenges than ever. But every once in a while, we come across real examples that remind us, “We can do it!” Our cover girl, Heather Brown, along with Diane Heuer and Jennifer Kamp, are exciting examples of “can do” people: In the tradition of Rosie the Riveter, they rolled up their sleeves and went to work in male-dominated fields. Nancy Yang reports on these formidable women and their tales of struggle, success and good humor in the article “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby.” In “My Farr Lady,” Stephanie Detillier tells us about Columbia native Shana Farr. Her inspiring story shows how she manages both a passionate singing career and a creative jewelry company. Many of us, including myself, have at times felt lost in our careers. When Shana was struggling with these feelings, she found inspiration in a fortune cookie that said, “Do not close your eyes to doors that are opening.” Her Silver Fortune Cookie Necklace is now the signature piece of her collection. Still on the subject of embracing changes, we have a new member to our team that we are excited to work with. A newcomer to Columbia from New York City, Alfredo Mubarah moved to town to be closer to his family. He brings with him an array of skills in the publishing world, having worked with some of the most prestigious American fashion and lifestyle publications. Please help me welcome Alfredo to our community, and if you happen to cross paths, feel free to share your opinions about the magazine. As we go to press, we learn of the passing of Elizabeth Taylor. This screen legend, ahead of her own time, was an example of female empowerment. Taylor will be remembered as a woman who lived life to be courageous, to break barriers and to stand up for the causes she believed in. Here’s to Liz — you will be missed. To all of our mother readers, I wish you a very happy Mother’s Day!
Betsy Bell Publisher
Alfredo Mubarah, Associate Publisher Alfredo@businesstimescompany.com Katrina Tauchen, Managing Editor Katrina@businesstimescompany.com MANAG E M E NT General Manager, Chris Harrison ChrisH@columbiahl.com Business Manager, Renea Sapp ReneaS@businesstimescompany.com Operations Manager, Cindy Sheridan CindyS@businesstimescompany.com David Reed, Group Editor DavidR@businesstimescompany.com D E SIG N Alisha Moreland, Art Director AlishaM@businesstimescompany.com Kristin Branscom firstname.lastname@example.org MARKETIN G R E P R E S E NTATIVE S Betsy Bell BetsyB@businesstimescompany.com Joe Schmitter JoeS@businesstimescompany.com Annie Jarrett email@example.com CREAT IVE SE RVIC E S Kayse Loyd Kayse@businesstimescompany.com Rebecca Rademan RebeccaR@businesstimescompany.com CONTRIBUTIN G P HOTOG RA P H ERS Taylor Allen, Deanna Dikeman, Carole Patterson CONTRI B U TING WRIT E RS Kay Bartle, Dianna Borsi O'Brien, Stephanie Detillier, Jennifer Hesse, Jill Orr, Keija Parssinen, Chari Severns, Molly Wright, Nancy Yang Photo Sty l i st Sherry Hockman SUBS C RIP T IONS Subscription rate is $12.95 for 6 issues or $18.95 for 12 issues. Call Cindy Sheridan at (573) 499-1830 ext.1003 to place an order or to inform us of a change of address. Columbia Home magazine is published by The Business Times Co., 2001 Corporate Place, Suite 100, Columbia, MO, 65202. (573) 499-1830 Copyright The Business Times Co., 2007. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.
Correction: In the story “Beyond Our Borders” in the February/March issue, Angie Azanni was incorrectly identified as the program director of Granny’s House. Azanni is the program coordinator. The director and founder of Granny’s House is Pam Ingram.
columbia home | 7
8 | April/may 2011 â€˘ columbiahl.com
table of contents
20 Kitchens with a Cause
The ninth annual Kitchens in Bloom Tour raises money for the Boone County Council on Aging.
40 Working from Home
How Columbia women are making it work with home-based businesses.
71 My Farr Lady
From the Hickman stage to the lights of Broadway, Columbia native Shana Farr has become a showstopper in NYC theater and the jewelry industry.
On the cover
12 Jewel Box Home 46 Modern Day Rosie 52 Face of the Working Mom 60 Power of Negotiation
22 12 36
IN EVERY ISSUE
60 71 On the c over
In homage to Rosie the Riveter, Heather Brown, project coordinator for JE Dunn Construction Company, takes a nod to women at work, past and present. The iconic image of the original Rosie was painted by illustrator Norman Rockwell in the early '40s and became the symbol of a national campaign to recruit women for the jobs American soldiers had left behind (see story, Page 46). Photo by Taylor Allen, styling by Alfredo Mubarah, hair and makeup by Jaren Flynn Vintage green jumpsuit, Maude V, $15 Red and white polka dot head scarf, JoAnn's Fabrics
7 Welcome 10 Date Book 22 Designer’s Palette 24 Expert’s Advice 26 Shopkeeper’s Story 28 Dear Kate 31 The Dish 32 Edible Education 34 Mommy Chronicles 36 Fashion 38 The Look 79 Health 82 DIY 85 Book Club 87 On the Web 88 City Scene 92 Welcome to the World 94 Home Bound 96 The Last Word columbia home | 9
date book | APRIL
Visit columbiahl.com for more information on these events, including contact numbers. Sunday
3 April 3 MU Tennis vs. Oklahoma State, 1 p.m., Green Tennis Center, MU
4 April 4 – 9 Life and Literature Series/Mizzou New Play Series, 7:30 p.m., Corner Playhouse, $7
5 April 5 Columbia Toastmasters Club, Adams Conference Center, Tuesdays, 5:30 – 7 p.m., Free
April 10 Life and Literature Series/Mizzou New Play Series, 2 p.m., Corner Playhouse, $7
April 11 Quarry Heights Writer’s Spring Workshop, Mondays, Quarry Heights Neighborhood, 7 – 9 p.m., $225 Tryps Children’s Cabaret, The Blue Note, 6:45 p.m., $5
April 12 Persona Lecture with Alex Inneco, Carpe Diem, Tuesdays, 7 p.m., $15
April 17 Danilo Perez Trio, We Always Swing Jazz Series, 3:30 p.m. and 7 p.m., Murry’s, $21 –35
April 18 Chess Club, Memorial Union, MU, Mondays, 7p.m., Free
April 24 Easter 10 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
April 6 Salsa/Latin Dance Lesson and Dance Party, Eastside Tavern, Wednesdays, 9 p.m. – 1:30 a.m., $5 Reflections Poetry Society, every other Wednesday, 6 – 7 p.m., Free
7 April 7 Lynne Arriale Quartet, We Always Swing Jazz Series, 7 p.m., The Blue Note, $21 – 30
May 26 Friends of the Columbia Public Library Lobby Book Sale, Columbia Public Library, Tuesdays, noon – 3 p.m., Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
April 1 Dale Jones, 8 p.m., Deja Vu Comedy Club, $8
April 2 Animal Rescue Anniversary Party, 2 p.m., Columbia Second Chance, Free
April 1 Dirty Disco! Dance Party, 9 p.m., Eastside Tavern, Free
A Song For Japan Benefit, Cooper’s Landing, noon 5:30 p.m.
April 9 Clean Up Columbia, register at 874.7499 or volunteer@ gocolumbiamo.com
April 8 George Strait & Reba McEntire, MU Arena, 7 p.m., $39.50 89.50 Stephens College Film Showcase, 7 p.m., Macklanburg Playhouse, Free
Rainbow House Masquerade Ball, Stephens College’s Kimball Ballroom, 7:30 – 11 p.m., $75/person or $125/couple April 15 – 16 Show-Me Opera with the University Philharmonic, 7:30 p.m., Missouri Theatre Center for the Arts
Rae Fitzgerald, Mojo’s, 8:30 p.m., $5
April 14 Boots ’n Bids for Kids, fundraiser for Coyote Hill Christian Home, April 15 5:30 p.m., Stoney Flashlight Easter Egg Creek Inn Hunt, 7:30 ¬ 9 p.m., Reichmann Pavilion ZOSO, The Ultimate at Stephens Lake Led Zeppelin ExperiPark, $7 per child, ence, The Blue Note, call 874.7460 to 8 p.m., $10 register by April 8
15 – 17 Shana Farr: Finding the Magic Through Songs of Julie Andrews, (see Page 74)
April 13 – 26 Eleemosynary, 7:30 p.m., Warehouse Theatre, 104 Willis Ave., $6 – 8
22 April 22 Earth Day
Egg Hunt EGGstravaganza Noon, Douglass Park, Free
April 20 April 21 – 23 Family Fun Fest: Teen Pride and Prejudice, Fest, 6 – 8 p.m., Flat 7:30 p.m., RhynsburgBranch Park er Theatre, $8 – 12
April 22 Annual Spring Choral Concert, 3 p.m., Historic Senior Hall Recital Hall, 100 Waugh St., Free
April 22 – 23 New Works Dance Concert, 7:30 p.m., Warehouse Theatre, 104 Willis Ave., $6 – 8
April 28 Are You Smarter than A Fifth-Grader? Junior Achievement of Columbia, 5:30 p.m., Courtyard Marriott, $20 for adults and $10 for children
April 29 Royal Wedding Celebration, 4:30 p.m., Westminster College in Fulton, in conjunction with the Winston Churchill Memorial, donations accepted
April 29 – 30 Thoroughly Modern Millie, 7:30 p.m., Macklanburg Playhouse, 100 Willis Ave., $7 – 14
April 20 Mike Posner, 7 p.m., Missouri Theatre Center for the Arts
April Fool’s Day
date book | MAY
Visit columbiahl.com for more information on these events, including contact numbers. Sunday
May 1 The Color Purple, 7 p.m., Jesse Auditorium, $10 – 35
May 2 An Evening with Garrison Keillor, Jesse Auditorium, 7 p.m., $37 - $47
Columbia Toastmasters Club, Adams Conference Center, Tuesdays, 5:30 – 7 p.m., Free
Cinco de Mayo
May 5 Slow Art Day, 4 – 8 p.m., MU Museum of Art and Archaeology
May 6 Outdoor Movies in the Park: Megamind, 8:30 p.m., Flat Branch Park, $2
Saturday May 7 From Vienna to Broadway, presented by the Columbia Chorale, 7 p.m., Missouri Theatre Center for the Arts
May 4 – 5 Mamma Mia!, 7 p.m., Jesse Auditorium, MU, $35 – 50
Dancing with the Missouri Stars, 6 p.m., Hearnes Center $20
Speaking of Women’s Issues, Holiday Inn Expo Center, 3 – 8 p.m., $15 - 35
Jon Hockenbury Quartet, Jazz, a Louisiana Kitchen, 7 p.m.
May 10 Spanish Class, Centro Latino, 6 – 7 p.m., $10
May 11 Stitch and Bitch, Memorial Union, MU, Wednesdays, 4 – 6 p.m., Free
May 16 Children’s Story Time, Barnes & Noble, Mondays, 10:30 a.m., Free
May 17 Women’s Spirit Series, Country Club of Missouri, noon 1:30 p.m., $45 (see Page 66)
May 18 Family Fun Fest: Fitness is Fun, 6 – 8 p.m., Flat Branch Park
May 7 - 8 The Hermann Norton Wine Trail, 11 a.m. 5 p.m., $30
May 3 National Teachers Day
May 1 Thoroughly Modern Millie, 2 p.m., Macklanburg Playhouse, $7 – 14 Mother's Day
May 23 Chess Club, Memorial Union, MU, Mondays, 7p.m., Free
May 24 Spring Into Action, Voluntary Action Center, University Club
May 30 Memorial Day
May 31 Musical Persona Lecture with Alex Inneco, Carpe Diem, Tuesdays, 7 p.m., $15
May 25 Salsa/Latin Dance Lesson and Dance Party, Eastside Tavern, Wednesdays, 9 p.m. – 1:30 a.m., $5
May 14 KMOS Kids Day 2011, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m., Columbia Expo Center
26 May 26 Children’s Story Time, Barnes & Noble, 10:30 a.m., Free
May 20 Whiff and Giggle Golf Tournament, 5 p.m., L.A. Nickell Golf Course, $40
May 20 – 21 Joel Anderson Trio, Jazz, a Louisiana Kitchen, 7 p.m.
28 May 28 Friends of the Columbia Public Library Lobby Book Sale, Columbia Public Library, Tuesdays, noon – 3 p.m., Saturdays, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.
If you would like to see your event featured in our calendar, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org columbia home | 11
home | home tour
A Jewel Box House Doc and Diane Sluyter’s bungalow-style “ender” home mixes modern conveniences with old-fashioned craftsmanship.
In a way, Diane Sluyter has been working all her life on the “ jewel box” house she and her husband, Gary “Doc” Sluyter, built in Rocheport last year. Tiny, only 1,500 square feet, the small sage green house at Columbia and Third looks as if it’s been there forever, and that’s just the beginning of the home’s charm. As Diane puts it, “It’s a jewel box because it’s little and totally complete, unique and packed with just what I want.” A former nurse and health educator, Diane recalls playing with her Lego building blocks as a child, building houses and then dismantling 12 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
to start anew over and over. “I think I’m a frustrated wannabe architect,” she says. But for years, Doc’s career took them from place to place. With a master’s degree in public health and a doctorate in special education administration from the University of Texas, he served on the faculty at Virginia Tech University and also held leadership positions at a number of organizations including the Mental Health Leadership Training Program with the Missouri Institute of Mental Health in St. Louis. During their moves, Diane and Doc built homes twice and renovated two others extensively. Then they landed in Columbia after another of Doc’s retirements failed to “take,” as Diane puts it, and he took the position as administrator of the Bluffs, a 132-bed, nonprofit
By Dianna Borsi O’Brien P h o t o s b y D e a n n a D i k e ma n
skilled nursing facility in Columbia. The couple decided they wanted to settle down in mid-Missouri and at last build an “ender” home, a place where they could retire some day and live for the rest of their lives. By this time, all of their previous building and renovation experiences meant Diane and Doc had definite ideas about what they wanted and what they didn’t want. “We didn’t want a lot of froufrous, extra stuff,” Diane says. That extra “stuff” included a lot of extra square feet. But this small size excluded them from building in many of Columbia’s subdivisions, most of which have minimize size requirements. It also excluded them from many contractors who didn’t know whether they wanted to spend their time building such a small house.
But as Doc puts it, “That’s what we are: two adults, one cat and one dog.” Rocheport, here we come That’s how the Sluyters ended up with their two-bedroom, threeporch home in Rocheport and with Jeremy Spillman as their builder. After worrying about whether they’d ever find a plot of land for their proposed jewel house, they decided to look one more day, one more time in Rocheport. They’d roamed from Boonville to Fulton, from New Franklin to Fayette. But on that Sunday morning, there was a for-sale-by-owner sign in front of a house too tumbled down to be saved, on a corner lot where their home now stands. columbia home | 13
14 | April/may 2011 â€˘ columbiahl.com
Why a corner lot? Diane is firm; the garage doors need to be on the side of the house, never facing the front of the house. This is just one of the things she’s adamant about. The spot was perfect, and today, best of all, the home they built fits the site and the locale perfectly and looks as if the snug bungalow-style home with its metal roof and wide front porch has always been there. New home, old-fashioned craftsmanship Diane wanted a house with the feel of an “old soul,” so she wanted it built with techniques that harkened back to the quality of long ago. The Sluyters were more mature customers who knew exactly what they wanted down to the tiniest detail. For years Diane would study the pages of home magazines. She would rip out pages when she found something she really loved. When it came time to finding a contractor, Diane says: "We looked at many of the builders in town, and we felt that they wanted to build our home their way and not our way. They would try to convince us to use specific subcontractors or certain materials: That didn't work with our vision." It was by chance that Diane found her ultimate partner on the project. She ran into a friend one day who recommended they call Jeremy Spillman of Spillman Contracting. Diane recalls during their first meeting feeling a huge sense of relief. "I was so impressed that Jeremy actually listened, he paid attention, he was polite and gracious," she says. He knew from the get-go that this was our dream. A 1930-style 'ender' home, and we wanted it built not the easy way but the right way." Doc and Diane had finally found a builder who was open to the challenge of a truly custom build. Jeremy admits it wasn’t always easy going. “I remember four-hour meetings with Diane,” he says. Close to one-quarter of the products for the home came from online resources because Diane couldn’t find exactly what she wanted locally, such as shutter dogs, fixtures that hold the shutters open. It took Spillman more than a year to build the home; the footings were poured in October of 2009, and the Sluyters moved in right before Halloween of 2010. That timeline is four to five times longer than a typical construction project, but Spillman says he benefited from the experience. Spillman says he learned about new techniques and products during the build. For example, when they were deciding on shelves for the closets, Diane was against using the main stream metal shelves and metal rods. In the end he had a load of birch delivered, and he and his crew built shelves and shelf holders, which were then expertly painted with a smooth, slick finish to match the interior of the closets. “It’s the simplest thing, and it looks so amazing,” Spillman says. “Now I try to sell everyone away from the metal shelves. When I get a chance, I’m doing it in birch.” One of the biggest challenges of the build was the exterior. Diane chose ceder siding. Cedar siding done right, Spillman says, requires priming and painting every single cut and edge before installation. Some contractors might try to install it and then finish the cedar, but he says then it doesn’t last. Even though the process was time consuming, Spillman agrees it was worth it. There were other challenges to him as a contractor. The house is built with all solid wood doors, tongue and groove wood floors, handtooled millwork and other one-of-a-kind items. “It is hard to appreciate the sweat equity, and some contractors are stuck in doing it their own way, but I think it was a great opportunity to work with these products,” Spillman says. Diane, he says, was a challenging customer, the kind who either makes you pull your hair out or makes you a better contractor. For Spillman, he says it was the latter.
R e s o u rc e L i st
Construction: Spillman Contracting Dirt work and concrete: Lee “Buddy” Cundiff Construction supplies: Mid-City Lumber Plumbing: Magnum Plumbing Electricity: Davidson Electric Flooring: Accent Floor Coverings Metal roof: Manor Roofing Trim carpentry: Danny Sapp of Bottom Ranch Construction Lighting: Bright City Lights Countertops: Soapstone countertops by Top Knotch Interiors Appliances: Columbia Appliance Fireplace and foundation stone: Centurion Stone Stone masonry: Shane Audrey Tile installation: Brooks Chandler Island History countertop: Freedom Products and Show-Me Cabinets Windows: Menards Landscaping: Natural Elements Landscaping materials: Wilson’s Garden Center Kitchen design: Emili Carlson Garage doors: Eddie’s Garage Doors Etched glass pantry door: Village Glassworks Glass tiles: Busenbark Carpet Outlet Heating and air conditioning: Albright Heating and Air Conditioning Paint: Johnston Paint and Decorating Exterior lattice work and closet cedar lining: La Cross Lumber Hearthstones and landscaping stones: Southwest Stone Supply Gutters: Prieto Construction Sod: Emerald View Turf Farm Screen doors: The Old Goats Sheetrock and vintage ceiling plaster: Mark Bails
A snug fit The house itself is much like a mainstream bungalow but with standout features. From the front porch, you step into the living room, which is open to the kitchen. The living room is dominated by a stone fireplace topped with a massive timber, a nod to the timbers taken out of the home that was removed from the site. Other timbers from the demolished house were used to make the matching benches in the yard. Off to the side of the living room is a small room visible through glass French doors. This room is up for grabs; it is either Doc’s music room — he plays bluegrass when he has the time — or an office space, decked out with a desk and a computer as well as a keyboard, mandolin, guitar, dulcimer and banjo. Between the kitchen and living room area is a door to the screenedin porch, which looks out onto the root cellar the Sluyters made sure they kept intact from the former homestead. Off to the other side of the kitchen is a full bath, a guest bedroom, all with massive, well-designed closets, a welcome modern addition to an old-fashioned home. Then down a wide hallway, which would accommodate any future wheelchair or walkers should the Sluyters ever have need, is the master bedroom with its bathroom. The house also features a laundry room that opens out onto a stoop, something Diane values. Each and every room is small yet fit with functional details that could go unnoticed, such as the walk-in tile shower in case mobility ever becomes an issue. The Sluyters are taking their time furnishing the home because they want each piece to fit into the house perfectly. And that takes time. That’s OK, though; Diane wants an old-soul home, and she’s willing to wait to get it. columbia home | 15
How Hockman Gets
By Dianna Borsi O’Brien
Getting a designer look isn’t about where you shop, how much you spend or even having the right furniture. Sherry Hockman of Hockman Interior Designs says anyone can have a comfortable, functional home with a designer look because it’s all about how you bring it together. Whether you have $50 or an unlimited budget, you can use local sources to get the look you want. Hockman, who started her interior design career seven years ago with Casa Bella Interiors, recently opened a booth at The Market Place to let people preview a look and find out where to buy the items locally. In addition to partnering with local firms, Hockman also began blogging to share her tips and ideas with others at hockmaninteriordesign.blogspot.com. “I want people to be able to see a look and say, ‘I can buy that at I.O. Metro, JC Mattress or Bed Bath and Beyond,’” Hockman says. “I want to be able to provide the trends people want at affordable prices.” Hockman’s full interior design services can include shopping for clients, room or full house decorating and staging, holiday decorating, floral arranging, color consultations and remodeling consultations. When Hockman begins working with a client, she starts by looking at their home, discussing their lifestyle and the residents of the home, which are especially important with accent pieces. As Hockman notes, if you have a home with children or pets, you don’t want to buy $100 throw pillows. Her company’s slogan is, “Turning ideas into reality,” and Hockman says she’s dedicated to “creating happiness one space at time. It’s a gift I want to share.” To highlight her theories, Hockman staged the Sluyter home in a Restoration Hardware-style: a classic, old-fashioned, almost antique look.
Using the 60/30/10 color rule, which means 60 percent of a room should be a main color, 30 percent is another color and 10 percent is for accents, Hockman brought in pops of orange, yellow and red to play off the green wall color. Next, she added chocolate placemats on the island to help the room connect with the adjacent open living room. On the placemats, for functionality and color, she placed red plates, patterned lunch dishes and bright colored bowls. Green cloth napkins tie it all together.
the color rule
Living room % 60 30% 10%
16 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
With an open floor plan, flow is crucial, so Hockman brought in an open settee, which will allow guests to face the kitchen or the living room. The chocolate color of the item works well with the green of the kitchen and blends with the stone work on the fireplace and mantel. For accent pieces, she bought in old boxes in keeping with the wood mantel but then filled them with accent pieces to provide pops of color. She also brought in a variety of textures, including linen lamp shades and textured pillows in different colors and fabrics, which allows them to be placed on the settee, the couch or the chair. Items should be cohesive but not perfectly matching. Finally, she brought in accent pieces that included green colors to bring the adjoining kitchen and living room together. One of the keys to flow is to bring the same colors into all the rooms, though perhaps in different proportions.
Bookshelves should be filled in a “Z” formation, with books on one side of one shelf, then in the middle on the next and the opposite side in the third, to form a Z. Balance the books with accessories, and feel free to use items that tell a little about you, such as your grandmother’s dishes or items that spark a conversation. For example, Hockman topped one of the bookcases with a box that once held dynamite and explosives.
Hockman dressed the bed with a variety of cohesive colors, bringing together the colors in the furniture, the walls and the floors. She also added paintings above the bed to give the room height. A room, she says, should have a variety of heights in it, which in the bedroom can be provided by art, lamps and furniture.
Tips for Getting a Designer Look Color: Use the 60/30/10 rule, which means 60 percent of a room should be your main color, often the wall color; 30 percent another color, which can be the carpet or furniture color; and 10 percent, which would be your accent color. Then, pull those three colors through the rest of your house. The proportion can change, but using the same colors or variations of those colors in all your rooms gives your house flow.
Again, Hockman brought in an accent piece above the bed with a spring of green in it to keep the flow from the living room and kitchen going.
Shape: Make sure to use a variety of shapes in the room, such as rectangles, squares and circles. Texture: Mix textures so a room is not all soft pieces or hard items. For example, if you have a mirror on your mantel, include something softer such as a topiary, a floral arrangement or wicker balls. Or with a leather couch,
don’t use silk pillows because the smooth textures are too similar. Height: Whether it’s the whole room or your mantel, have a variety of heights. For example, in a room, have chairs and couches at different heights. On the mantel, everything shouldn’t be the same height. Balance: Don’t put all your heavy, dark furniture on the same side of the room. If you have a heavy armoire or television, balance it with another piece of furniture. In the bedroom, for example, if you have a big bed, put a big chest on the other side to balance the room. Break rules: Remember, rules are made to be broken. “If you find something you love, buy it,” Hockman says. “You’ll find a place for it.”
columbia home | 17
Interior Decorating: Resource Guide
❶ Floral couch, The Home Store; S monogram pillow cover, Bed Bath & Beyond, $14.99; Polo occasional chair, I.O. Metro, $399.95; vintage teak end table, I.O. Metro, $199.95; Vera lamp, I.O. Metro, $199.95; Flynn sattee, I.O. Metro, $799.95; throw pillow, I.O. Metro, $14.99 each
Lamp, $75; White Daisy Floral, $36; both items from Hockman Interior Design Boutique at the Market Place
❸ Lantern, Hockman Interior Design Boutique at the Market Place, $80 ❹ Café Espresso, Hockman Interior Design Boutique at the Market Place, medium tray, $35
❺ Large frame, Hockman Interior Design Boutique at the Market Place, $45. 18 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
large tray, $45;
FROM previous pages: Lanai Round Abaca coffee table, I.O. Metro, $199.95 (Page 16); Guest Bedroom Vine wall art, $29.99; Daintree duvet set, queen, $149.99; Euro pillows, $49.99; breakfast pillow, $39.99; 18” square pillows, $39.99; lamp shade, $24.99; lamp base, $39.99; all items from Bed Bath & Beyond (Page 17); Cereal bowl, $5.99; dinner plate, $6.99; both items from Bed Bath & Beyond (Page 13); Bird Art, Hockman Interior Design boutique at Marketplace, $36; Natural Bedding comforter set, T.J Maxx, $79.99; Euro pillows, T.J Maxx, $19.99 (Page 17)
columbia home | 19
home | kitchens in bloom
Kitchen with a Cause Boone County Council on Aging’s 2011 Kitchens in Bloom Tour B y D i a n n a B o r s i O ’ B r i e n | P h oto s b y Tay lo r A l l e n
Sometimes it’s crazy easy to help others. By going on the Kitchens in Bloom tour, a tour of four beautifully renovated kitchens, you can help low-income seniors get their sidewalks shoveled, food delivered and necessary home repairs or yard work done.
Mary Phillips 101 W. Brandon
That’s because Kitchens in Bloom, in its ninth year, is a major fundraiser for the Boone County Council on Aging, a local nonprofit that provides this kind of help to more than 1,700 low-income people older than 55 in Boone County. “It’s not just a fundraiser,” says Jessica Macy, executive director of the BCCA. “It’s an opportunity to get our message out in the public more.” So what’s the message? That the BCCA helps seniors to live quality, independent lives. Typically, 300 people attend the tour, providing roughly $6,200 to the agency, which is also funded by the United Way, the city of Columbia and Boone County. The agency provides services using more than 1,600 volunteers, including Keith Anderson, owner of Columbia Carpet Cleaning, who has been helping one particular senior get her allocation of food from the food pantry for years. “We’re all busy, but you just say yes, and you fit it in,” Anderson says.
Cavanaugh Noce and Cindy Neagle 1836 Cliff Drive
To read all about the stories behind the kitchen renovations, visit columbiahl.com 20 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
Amy and Mike Monahan 701 Westwood
Dave McDonald 101 W. Parkway
Kitchens in Bloom Tour Sunday, May 1, noon - 4 p.m.
Tickets: $10 in advance, $12 day of the tour (available at The Market Place, 1100 Business Loop 70; and D&H Drugstores, 1001 W. Broadway and 1814 Paris Road) Boone County Council on Aging www.booneaging.org | 1123 Wilkes Blvd., Suite 100 | (573) 443-1111 columbia home | 21
designer's palette | Traci Busenbark Best
Updates from the Ground Up Flooring trends from interior designer Traci Busenbark Best B y M o l ly W r i g h t | P h o t o s b y T ay l o r A l l e n
Although updating your home, whether it's one room or an entire house, is an exciting undertaking, it can also be overwhelming. Colors and textures and trends: Sometimes you just need someone to tell you where to start. Enter Traci Busenbark Best. As an interior designer with Busenbark Carpet, Best helps customers navigate the decorating waters on a daily basis. As the featured designer in this month’s Designer’s Palette, Best provides tips to keep you afloat in this sea of confusion so your before-to-after transition is less of a headache and more of a joy. color swatch 1
color swatch 2
color swatch 3
Product info: Shaw Flooring Montgomery Series, 5-inch planks, $9.50/square foot; Shaw Flooring Cape Mountain Series Zebra Print, $2.99/square foot; Mirage Temptation Series, Matrix Green, $25.65/ square foot; Caledonia Granite, $59/square foot; American Olean metal edging, $23 a piece; Tosco Ker Seta Series tile, $4.04/square foot; Stein World Lamp, $87.89; Uttermost mirror, $225 22 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
color swatch 4
Traci Busenbark Best: Interior Design e r 8070 Interstate 70 Drive S.E. (573) 474-7550 www.busenbarkcarpet.com
columbia home | 23
expert's advice | Roselyn Gard
Tackling the B y J i l l O r r | P h oto b y Tay lo r A l l e n
Roselyn Gard of Rosie’s Professional Organizing offers her best tips for spring What kind of service does your company provide? My company helps our clients develop systems to get organized and stay organized. Often this involves an intensive decluttering process and teaching them systems so the clutter doesn’t return once we leave. Our clients walk away with more time, more space, less stress and, often times, more money. How did you get into professional organizing? I’ve been in the business for about 15 years. For the first 10, I just cleaned houses, and I started noticing that many of my clients’ biggest problems were dealing with their clutter. People’s homes get cluttered because they are unable to make a decision about where to put something. So it goes in a pile. Everybody has this problem to some degree, but it can become debilitating for some.
What do you see as the most common source of clutter? Paper clutter is the No. 1 thing we see. The daily management of paper can quickly get out of control. People have lost bills in the huge piles they’ve made, and it can lead to real problems if they don’t get it under control.
How do you help people deal with paper clutter? The first thing we do is help the client sort each piece of paper into one of three piles: Cold, things that can be put into storage; Warm, things that need to be addressed within a week or so; and Hot: things that need to be dealt with immediately. We also help the client set up a household notebook with different sections for each type of paper. We teach them what to do from the moment a piece of paper enters the home; sometimes it’s sorting the mail directly over the trash can so things get thrown away. Other times, it’s setting up bills online to avoid paper altogether. We have a system for everything.
What can people expect when they call your company? We do a free one-hour consultation with each prospective client. We talk about their needs and expectations and decide if we are going to be able to help. If the client would like to proceed, we meet after that in two-hour chunks of time. This way the process doesn’t become overwhelming. And in two hours, you’d be surprised at the progress we can make. We can often clear an entire room of clutter. We work together with the client and educate them as we go along. 24 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
When are people most likely to call your company in? People call when things are out of control. Sometimes it’s gotten to the point that they don’t want to have friends over, or they’ve started losing things. People know what they need; they just need help getting there. Other ways we help clients are when people just move into a new home, are getting their home ready to sell and when planning for an estate sale.
Do you have any spring cleaning organizational tips? • Switch out seasonal clothing (repurpose/donate items that are no longer needed or used). • After April 15, file all of the past year’s bills, and store them. Make sure the current year’s bill-filing system is in place. • Store and go through seasonal decorations. Donate/sell what you don’t use. • Assess your children’s clothing (repurpose items that have been outgrown). • Assess children’s toys for age-appropriateness and seasonal viability. Does it get played with? • Go through your books, and donate or trade those you don’t need to keep. • Remember that you are paying rent on everything in your home. You should really need it or love it; otherwise it’s just taking up square footage.
Roselyn G ard Owner, Rosie’s Professional Organizing (573) 424-5769 www.rosiequeenofclutter.com
columbia home | 25
shopkeeper's story | The French Laundry and Alterations
Green Clean The French Laundry and Alterations owner Lori Anne Gaddy
B y M o l ly W r i g h t | P h o t o s b y T ay l o r A l l e n
Ask Lori Anne Gaddy about hard work, and chances are she’ll be too busy to answer. For Gaddy, who grew up in her family’s business, her strong work ethic is inherited; it even brought her to Stephens College and led her to law school aspirations. But a world tour and study at sea changed more than Gaddy’s location for one semester — it changed her course in life as well. Although her belief in hard work never wavered, the decisions she made following her return led to the man who would sweep her off her feet, the birth of her son, Hopper, and the opening of The French Laundry and Alterations. Born in Muskogee, Okla., Gaddy’s early memories center around her father’s drugstore, Gaddy’s Drugs. “I’ve had a job since I was 8 years old,” says Gaddy, who dusted shelves and worked the register. But it was her fascination with materials and fashion that brought her to Columbia in 1990 for fashion design at Stephens College. During her stay, a unique university program combining class credit with world travel caught her eye, and she jumped onboard. “I took women’s studies, economics, religious studies, all on the ship,” says Gaddy, who lived at sea for 100 days. “We started in Vancouver, Canada, and ended up at Fort Lauderdale, Fla.” This voyage, which included 14 ports of call, changed Gaddy. “That trip blew my mind, and it was ultimate confusion when I came back. One minute you’re roaming the streets of India, and the next you’re in Egypt. You see how so many different people live in the world. I realized I had a responsibility. What did I want to do with my life?” In 1994, Gaddy, having changed majors earlier, graduated with a degree in philosophy, law and rhetoric. By now, however, she was questioning her decision to attend law school, even though she knew her family had high expectations for her. “You finish high school, you go to college, you become a productive member of society,” Gaddy says. Then in 1996, Gaddy made an important decision. She opened Downtown Alterations in Columbia and quickly made a name for herself with her fabric expertise. She also discovered that many of her customers were sending their more expensive dry-cleaning to St. Louis or Kansas City. Gaddy understood their concerns. “I’m one who appreciates good fabric and quality clothing,” she says. “You buy something, you love it, and you want to care for it in the best possible way.” She began thinking about expanding her business to include dry-cleaning. During this time, Gaddy was asked to join Dancing with the Missouri Stars, a benefit for the Missouri Contemporary Ballet Company. Perhaps it was fate that paired her 26 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
with dance pro Jason Shearin. The twosome not only won the 2007 contest but also became a couple off the dance floor — and they’re together today. Gaddy’s next big decision was to move her business south of town. “I would have liked to have stayed downtown, but I couldn’t find the square footage,” she says when she discovered a vacant dance studio in Peachtree Plaza. “It was kind of funny that when I was shopping leases and this one was available, I thought, ‘I’ve already been there.’” Gaddy knew Shearin had taught at the studio when he first came to Columbia. When Gaddy opened The French Laundry and Alterations in 2009, Shearin’s business, the Ballroom Academy of Columbia, which he operates with Amanda Buchana, took over part of the square footage. Walk into The French Laundry and Alterations, and there’s one thing you’ll notice right away: no chemical smell. Gaddy, who researched greener dry-cleaning options, uses the Greenearth Cleaning Process, a modified liquid silicone, rather than perchloroethylene or perc. “I knew that dry-cleaning, the perc-style of cleaning, is being phased out in other states, like California,” she says. “I also knew if I was going to open a dry-cleaner in Columbia with a set of tailors, a team in place that understood fabrics, it had to be a safe and healthy place to work as well.” Gaddy adds that perc has been shown to be harsh on clothing and harmful to people. Jeff Thompson, manager of The French Laundry, has worked with Gaddy for many years and appreciates her decision. “If we were doing cleaning and it wasn’t eco-friendly, I probably wouldn’t even work here,” he says. “Those buildings, those people that are not using eco-friendly products, you walk in there, and the smell is so strong. I could not be in that environment all day long.” Emily Wishall, seamstress, agrees: “I love it here. It was definitely something I was looking for, wanting to be in an environment around people who value more eco-friendly practices.” The French Laundry is also very clean. “Why is it that when you would go into a drycleaner, it felt like you were maybe going to get your oil changed at the same time?” Gaddy asks. “Why are they so dirty? If they’re so dirty, how are my clothes going to come out of there clean?” Thompson adds that clothes from The French Laundry look and feel better as well. “When you have nice clothes, you want them to last.” Gaddy is quick to point out that though she uses a different process for her dry-cleaning, her prices are competitive. “If I’m higher on anything, though, you’re going to get it back in the end,” she says. “It means that suit is going to last through 10 more dry-cleanings versus
The French Laund r y a n d A l t e ra t i o n s 3910 Peachtree D r ive, Su i t e D (573) 442-9274 Dry cleaning drop - o f f a n d p i ck - u p : Monday through Fr i d ay, 7 a . m . t o 6 p. m . ; Saturday, 9 a.m.- 1 p. m . Alteration fitting s : Monday-Friday 9 a . m . - 6 p. m . a n d Saturday 9 a.m.- 1 p. m .
doing it the other way. It’s just so much gentler on the fabrics.” Gaddy’s business is growing, and so is her family. Her son, Hopper, will be 2 this year. Gaddy says his unusual name came up while shopping. “I was 38, and Jason was 40,” she says. “Us being older and completely dumb about children, we were in St. Louis looking at this crib, and my mother, who lives in Oklahoma, was on the cell phone with us. We said it didn’t look safe. She said, “What do you mean?’” They explained that the mattress was too close to the top of the crib bar. “What if we get a hopper on our hands, and the kid just hops out?” Her mother, laughing, educated them about lowering the mattress as the baby gets older, and the name Hopper stuck. Gaddy says having Hopper cemented
her decision to open a cleaner, greener business. “I have a little one, so I don’t want all the bad stuff going into him. He’s my biggest motivator.” Like his mother, Hopper is growing up in the family business. Gaddy says her staff, who she considers extended family, really makes it work. “I have a great staff that lets me be a mommy,” she says. “They take care of me, I take care of them, and everyone is an aunt to Hopper.” Gaddy says she hopes Hopper will come to appreciate the value and joy of hard work the same way she did. “I hope that my son is never handed anything, that he earns everything. Because when you earn something, you appreciate it. And that brings a lot of joy and happiness to a person’s life.”
columbia home | 27
advice | DEAR KATE
Life, love, family and more. Your questions answered.
My parents are divorcing after nearly four decades of marriage. Although my brother and I are in our 30s, the dissolution of their relationship, which always seemed so secure, has been life altering for our family. I’ve asked both my mom and dad to avoid talking to me about the other negatively. It has been months, and my father cannot seem to, first, grasp the concept that the relationship is ending and, second, that I don’t want to be in the middle of their issues. When we talk, he continually makes negative comments about my mom and highlights all the ways he feels she has wronged him as well as details of their finances. I have told him twice, once in a letter and once to his face, that it makes me uncomfortable to talk about these topics. I don’t want him to feel like I’m taking sides, and I know he needs someone to talk to, but I’m starting to dread his phone calls. How do I get him to understand? E. L. Dear E. L. Witnessing the divorce of your parents is difficult at any age. Young children and adult children face some distinct challenges when parents divorce, but there are some shared challenges, such as the one you are currently struggling with: bad-mouthing and over-sharing. I want to commend you on how you have handled this so far. You set boundaries with both of your parents by asking them to save any negativity for each other, thus telling them, I love you, I want a relationship with you, but I do not want to be involved in ugliness between you two. And you should not have to be; their problems are not yours to own or solve. For whatever reason, it sounds like your dad is unable or unwilling to respect your boundary. Maybe he is too wrapped up in his own pain to notice what he’s doing, or maybe he really thinks that if he keeps talking, you will see “his light.” Whatever his reasoning, it’s still not your responsibility to absorb his frustrations or the 28 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
perceived slights and wrongs he believes your mother has committed. It takes courage to set boundaries with people we love, and you’ve had to reiterate it not once, but twice. Perhaps the third time is the charm. When the time feels right, remind your dad of your request to remain out of the negativity but in a new way. Something along the lines of: “Dad, remember when I told you how I didn’t want to be involved in any of the stuff between you and Mom? Well, I’m not sure you realize how much you talk about it. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, so let’s come up with a plan so I can let you know when it’s happening.” Say it in a way that the issue is addressed, but there is no blame; in essence you give him a way out and offer a solution. The plan could be that when he starts going on about your mom, you simply say, “Dad, you’re doing it again.” Continue to reinforce this with your dad until he gets it (and it might take a while). As difficult as it is to do, it would be a lot harder to lose the relationship completely.
I am getting married in September, and though I have been mentally planning my wedding for years, the mental planning was a lot more fun than the real thing. My fiancé and I decided on a big wedding (about 250 guests), as we both have large families and lots of friends. This initially seemed like a great idea when we were talking about it, but I now feel like the wedding is running my life. I am overwhelmed to say the least — guest list, colors, favors, flowers, food, venue, dresses, tuxes — the list goes on. It’s not fun anymore, and I am about ready to run to the courthouse. Help. A. S. Dear A. S. The devil is truly in the details, so you need to let them go and get back to the reason you decided you wanted a wedding in
the first place. My guess is the most important elements for you are joy and a celebration of love. Make that your primary focus. Talk to almost any bride, and she will tell you that she wished she had been less concerned about whether the cocktail napkins were the right shade and more available to revel in her big day. Don’t miss out on your joyous event because you are so overwhelmed with the minutiae (and impossibility) of “perfection.” Work on creating an event you can genuinely enjoy and be present for. If that means paring down the festivities, a destination wedding or regrouping on the current plan, do what it takes so you thoroughly enjoy your day. If the big blowout wedding is truly your heart’s desire, take a step back and reflect. What aspects of the wedding are most important to you? The food? The flowers? The music? Pick out three or four things that are meaningful to you, and take charge, and have your fiancé do the same. Then delegate! I would guess that you have had more than a little input from family and friends, and they would welcome playing a role. Make it a group effort. You don’t have to do this alone. The bottom line is, don’t let the details steal the show. Love and joy should be center stage, and you should be right there with them, reveling in every glorious moment!
Have a question for Kate? Email her at email@example.com
Kate Smart Harrison holds a B.A. in psychology from Loyola University, New Orleans and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Missouri. Kate also attended a graduate program in Austria for peace studies and conflict transformation. Disclaimer: The advice provided in this column is for general informational and educational purposes only; it is not offered as, and does not constitute, a therapeutic relationship or psychotherapeutic advice. None of the information presented is intended as a substitute for professional consultation by a qualified practitioner.
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3901 Lyman Drive • Columbia, MO 573.268.1799 • midwestremodel.com 30 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
food | the dish
Chef Daniel Pliska’s grilled lamb chops and Mediterranean salad Grilled and garnished to perfection, lamb chops and Mediterranean salad prepared by Chef Daniel Pliska, University Club executive chef, make a springtime meal feel extra special. P h oto b y Tay lo r A l l e n G r i l le d L a mb C h o p s
Makes: 24 chops, or 8 portions 24 single bone lamb pork chops, marinated for 2 hours in balsamic vinaigrette Kosher salt and fresh black pepper for seasoning
K a l am ata O l i ve Re l i sh
1 cup Kalamata olives, rinsed, blanched and chopped ¼ cup red onion, finely diced and blanched ¼ cup red bell pepper, finely diced and blanched 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1 cup Roma tomatoes, skin and seeds removed, finely diced ¼ cup chopped parsley 1 tablespoon chopped basil 1 tablespoon sherry or balsamic vinegar ¼ cup olive oil ½ teaspoon fresh pepper
M ed iter ra n e a n S a l a d
1 quart spring mixed greens 1 quart chopped romaine lettuce 1 cup artichoke hearts (canned), cut in quarters 1 cup diced Roma tomatoes ½ cup red onion, cut in julienne 1 cup feta cheese in crumbles 2 cups croutons 1 recipe balsamic vinaigrette
Balsam ic Vinai gr ette
Makes: 2 ½ cups (8 to 10 salads) ½ cup finely chopped shallots ½ cup balsamic vinegar 1 ½ tablespoon black pepper 1 ½ teaspoon granulated sugar 1 ½ teaspoon chopped, fresh basil ½ teaspoon salt 1 ½ cups extra virgin olive oil Mix shallots, vinegar, pepper, sugar, basil and salt. Whisk in the oil to form a simple vinaigrette, or emulsify in blender. Preparation Mix all ingredients for olive relish, and set aside. Over hot coals, grill the lamb chops to medium rare (130°F). Toss together all salad ingredients with just enough balsamic vinaigrette to coat the greens. Place salad on plates, top with the lamb chops, and finish with the olive relish.
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health | EDIBLE EDUCATION
Fat Facts: The Good, the Bad and the Chubby Cynergy Health’s Cynthia Hayes and Leah Newmark talk to Columbia Home about the difference between good and bad fat. The facts might surprise you.
b y J o a n n a D e mk i e w i c z
From a young age, we learn the popular adage: “Fats, oils and sweets, use sparingly.” But did you know that there is a type of fat that can help you lower your cholesterol? In the pursuit of clear information, we interviewed Cynthia Hayes, Cynergy Health’s creator and on-staff doctor, and Leah Newmark, Cynergy Health’s dietitian, to determine once and for all what we should keep on our table and what should keep us on our toes. 32 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
“Fats can be broken down into saturated and unsaturated fats,” Newmark says. “Saturated fats are solid at room temperature and can lead to clogged arteries when eaten in excess. In contrast, unsaturated fats are liquid at room temperature and can lower high cholesterol levels.” Cynergy Health was developed two years ago as a one-stop shop for family medicine and nutritional services. Hayes believes in the importance of an overall “cynergistic goal” in health care for babies, families and elderly patients: She works with dietitian Leah Newmark to provide a preventive health care tactic. Two sub-categories found in unsaturated fats are highly beneficial to our health: monounsaturated fats and polyunsaturated fats. Monounsaturated fats lower cholesterol and sometimes increase healthy HDL cholesterol. According to the American Heart Association, maintaining a healthy level of HDL cholesterol may protect against heart attack and stroke. Polyunsaturated fats — more commonly known as omega-6s and omega-3s — are found in fish and plant sources such as flax seeds. These fats help lower triglycerides, the fats found in our blood.
One unsaturated fat is disguised as a good fat but is what Newmark calls a “super bad fat.” “Trans unsaturated fats, or trans fats, are the most dangerous because our body places them in organs where good unsaturated fats usually go,” Newmark says. “Trans fats are very stable compounds, like saturated fats, and harden areas of our body.” These fats are created during a process called hydrogenation, which is used to make margarines from plant oils. Newmark suggests studying labels carefully before purchasing certain foods found in health markets or Smart Balance margarine, for example. Many times, these “healthy” products use partially hydrogenated oils instead of animal fats in a backward attempt to be health conscious. When applying these lessons to grocery shopping and meal planning, the skill of substitution is important to keep in mind. “It’s important to note that benefits are seen in people who replace bad fats with good fats,” Newmark says. “If you simply add good fats to your current diet, you are just eating a diet higher in fat.” After this overload of information, keep these specific foods in mind while perusing the grocery store with a “fat” question mark over your head:
F o o ds to
avo i d
Butter and margarine
These are difficult to dodge, but consider eating a diet that requires less butter and margarine because between the two they contain saturated and trans fats. Remember the danger in fats is their ability to remain solid at room temperature, so reach for a tub instead of a stick.
Animal products, especially meats, are difficult to avoid because of the protein and iron advantages. For the best of both health worlds, choose the leanest possible ground meat. Newmark suggests purchasing ground meat that is at least 90 percent lean.
Many low-fat products
Some low-fat products or products found in health markets are disguised as low-fat. Remember to always check labels; just because something is low in fat doesn’t mean it doesn’t contain harmful partially hydrogenated oils.
Dubbed “The Wonderfish” by the National Fisheries Institute, tuna is a natural source of omega-3s and is low in saturated fat. The fish also contains significant sources of protein and potassium, and Newmark says buying tuna is beneficial whether it’s fresh or in a can.
Canola and olive oil
These oils contain monounsaturated fats, omega-3 fatty acids and are even known to help prevent diabetes. Newmark suggests choosing these oils over peanut, vegetable or coconut oil, which all contain higher levels of saturated fat.
Unsweetened almond milk
Newmark says this nutty milk is an excellent alternative to cow’s milk and doesn’t have the chalky aftertaste of soy milk. Almond milk contains three grams of unsaturated fat, zero grams of saturated fat and 15 percent more daily calcium.
C ynergy Health Hayes and Newmark respect the limited time patients have and offer same-day appointments. To contact the clinic, call (573) 4474400 or visit their location at the intersection of Forum and Nifong Blvd. Cynergy Health is open Monday through Thursday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and on Fridays from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m.
columbia home | 33
family | THE MOMMY CHRONICLES
Humble Pie B y K a y Ba r t l e
Have you ever heard of humble pie?
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If you look in your cookbook or on the Internet for the recipe, you won’t find it. Humble pie makes you eat your words — it’s the “I was wrong” lunch. Over the years I have eaten quite a lot of humble pie. On one such occasion when I was expecting our first child, my husband and I were having dinner in a restaurant. A family with a child who appeared to be about 3 or 4 years old came and sat near us. The child was vigorously sucking a pacifier. I called my husband’s attention to the child and quietly said: “See that? Our child will never acquire such an attachment to a pacifier, especially at that age.” I was certain. Our first son was born, and he easily gave up the pacifier. The same happened when our second son was born. Then we had son No. 3. His pacifier became his constant companion. We made several attempts to take it away, but he won the battles. As he grew older, he strategically placed them so he could easily find them throughout the day, even in his boots. It was out of control, and even he was becoming embarrassed by his attachment to the pacifier. At a family gathering, I noticed he had disappeared. When I found him in a bedroom all alone, I asked, “What are you doing?” He said, “Mom, I am sucking my passie.” He soon joined the party, passie in his pocket. He was indeed embarrassed. It came time for our family to move to another location. Amidst all the boxes and confusion of moving, we lost all the passies. The time had come to give them up. He wanted to go to the store to buy one. I thought to myself, “In a few years, you can drive yourself to the store to buy one.” But I told him they probably didn’t make them anymore, or at least the kind he enjoyed. And it finally worked! No more thoughts of passies — or at least we thought. Later when we went to the store to purchase kindergarten supplies, he wandered into the baby aisle. I heard a loud voice call out: “Mom, come quick! They are making 'suckifiers' again!” (No longer passie; his vocabulary had expanded.) Without a doubt, if he could, he would have purchased a passie along with his kindergarten supplies. What about the humble pie? I learned we must use great caution in using the word never or judging someone else with condemnation. You never know when you will have to eat a little humble pie.
Kay Bartle, the proud mother of four and grandmother to six, shares stories of the joys, struggles, laughter and tears that come with raising a family.
34 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
columbia home | 35
style | fashion
The Spring Wardrobe These ETCetera looks selected by Shelley Ravipudi will carry any fashionista safely into an affordable spring. B y C h a r i S e v e r n s | P h oto s b y Tay lo r A l l e n
For the Columbia Home spring fashion shoot, Shelley Ravipudi chose seven ETCetera pieces that create a trendy wardrobe centered on the soft brown asymmetrical jacket. By playing the mix-andmatch game, these versatile pieces will create up to 18 on-trend looks. Cha-ching! Shelley Ravipudi is not only a fashion consultant, but she is also a stay-at-home mom, rental property owner and is active in the Columbia community as a volunteer. She and her husband, Dr. Sanjeev Ravipudi, a cardiologist at the Missouri Heart Center, recently co-chaired the American Heart Association's annual Dr. Hugh E. Stephenson Heart Ball. After being an ETCetera client for four years, Ravipudi started selling the line. ETCetera clothing has casual, business and party attire for women of all ages. “Through my involvement in various organizations, I have been fortunate to meet diverse groups of women ranging from working professionals to busy mothers,” she says. She loved the line’s versatility and knew it had a wide appeal. Some of the prevailing trends for summer include bright jewel tones, stripes and animal prints in unusual colors. The ’70s are back in full force with flowy silhouettes, wide-legged, high-waist pants and lots of ruffles up top. We’re sold!
Product info: Soft paper leather jacket with asymmetrical collar, $495; wild rose and mesh leopard print ruffle blouse, $175; one-shouldered printed shirt with gold embellishment, $135; brown high-waisted skirt with antique brass hardware and double buckles, $150; Ink sweetheart neckline blouse trimmed with leaves, roses and gathered petals, $165; Ink stretch bell shaped cotton skirt, $165; Ivory fine-gauge jersey cropped ruffle cardigan with silk sash, $195; ivory silk camisole, $55; ivory high-waisted slacks, $195; daffodil, ivory, silver and metallic V-neck dress, $225.
36 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
Do High Definition Right.
2200 Forum Boulevard, Suite 106 | Columbia 573.234.1074 | www.pureaudiohome.com
You go, girl!
Tips for a fashionably warm season ’ 7 0 s rev i va l Look for styles that are skin tight at the top and fashionably wide at the bottom. High-waist, ampleleg pants paired up with fuss-free shirts or sleeveless tanks remain forever modern. M a x i d re s se s
In keeping with the ’70s trend, maxi dresses graced the catwalks all over the world for spring/ summer 2011 collections. For the full-on ’70s look, try them with wedge sandals. Or pair them with flat sandals for a boho chic extravaganza.
R a i nb ow nat i o n Big news for this summer: Bright colors and color blocking were seen in many top designers catwalks around the world. Forget neutral tones; this summer is a riot of color. An im a l m ag n eti s m
Leopards, pandas and giraffes add a touch of playfulness. But refuse the usual. The word is loud colors making up the most unexpected patterns.
H ea d - to - to e wh ite
Also popular on this season’s catwalks, the all-white look is great for day and night. Add pops of color with shoes, belts and accessories.
W ed ge hee l s Much easier to walk in than skyscraper stilettos, wedge heels were the common denominator on catwalks this season. E xtr a wo r d s o f w i s d om Floppy brim hats, printed jumpsuits, pleated skirts (mini, knee or maxi), sheer on top. columbia home | 37
the look | kelani's Norvell sunless tanning
Get your faux glow on At KeLani Salon and Spa, sunless tanning goes all natural B y J e n n i f e r H e ss e | P h o t o s b y T a y l o r A l l e n
The real thing is often your best bet when it comes to jewelry, dairy products and arguably even TV shows. But with tanning, the smart move is to make it fake. Although some salons offer sunless tanning alongside UV tanning, KeLani Salon and Spa owner Rose Ditter KeLani maintains a firm policy against tanning beds. “If I think it’s not good for the skin or good for the person, I won’t have it,” KeLani says. Columbia residents can get a natural-looking glow using all-natural spray tanning at KeLani Salon and Spa in downtown Columbia. Rather than producing a real tan by increasing the skin’s melanin levels, the Norvell sunless tanning system creates a tanned appearance on the skin’s surface using an active ingredient called dihydroxyacetone (DHA). KeLani visited the Norvell manufacturing site in Tennessee, met with the owner and decided to go with the company’s products because of their ingredients — made from vegetables and fruits rich with antioxidants and vitamins B and C — and the results they produce — long-lasting, consistent tans. “It was probably a year and a half to two years before I actually brought it in once I was convinced that we were offering the best and that it was going to be a good thing for the clients as well as for us,” KeLani says. For best results, customers should exfoliate 24 hours before the spray tanning application and use Norvell pH cleansers and moisturizers afterward to prolong the tan, which lasts five to seven days on average. Customers should also dress in dark, loose-fitting, washable clothing and bring dark undergarments or swimsuits to wear during the application. Gregory Caplinger and Leighton Waint recently had the spray tanning done to get some color before their engagement photos were taken. The couple was pleased with how quickly the spray tanning application produced the look of a summer glow. “Everyone knows the horror stories of spray tans gone wrong and looking orange, so we were both skeptical of the results prior to the session,” Waint says. “We were both proven wrong — the tan looks amazing.”
A radiant you! Spray tanning at KeLani Salon and Spa is performed in a private room and takes only 10 minutes. An application costs $25, and promotional cards are available for getting a free tan after five applications. KeLani Salon and Spa is located at 1100 E. Walnut in downtown Columbia. For more information, call (573) 449-4931 or visit www.kelanisalonandspa.com.
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The History of KeLani Although customers who come to KeLani Salon and Spa for spray tanning enter through the same door as those who come for a haircut, the two services aren’t exactly offered under the same roof. Originally housed in one building when it opened in 1975, Rose Ditter KeLani later decided to separate the business to create a quieter atmosphere for the spa, which now shares space with the adjacent D Sport Awards, Specialties and Screen Printing building owned by her husband, Richard KeLani. “People were wanting to come in for massages and facials, and they had to walk through the salon,” Rose KeLani says. “We soon realized that the salon also needed to be a spa.” In addition to spray tanning, KeLani Salon and Spa offers a full range of health and beauty services at two connected yet distinctive sites: • Haircuts, color, straighteners, permanent waves and scalp treatments • Manicures, pedicures, facials and wax hair removal • Makeup application and skin rejuvenation, including microdermabrasion and LED light therapy • Aromatherapy, body wraps and steam therapy • Massage treatments including Swedish massage, acupressure and hot stone, with massage tables available for prenatal and duo massages
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For subscription information, contact Cindy Sheridan at (573) 499-1830, ext. 1003.
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Working from Home
Earning an income through home-based businesses B y J i l l O r r | P h o t o s b y ta y l o r a l l e n | f as h i o n s : Ca r l i s l e a n d P e r s e b y B e c k y M c H u g h
For todayâ€™s stay-at-home mom, landing the perfect part-time job might seem like finding the Holy Grail: a legend. Does the part-time career that provides on-the-job training, flexible hours and unlimited earning potential really exist? A job that gives a predominately stayat-home mom the opportunity to earn income while using her brain for something other than how to remove bubble gum from a 3-year-oldâ€™s hair while driving six kids to soccer practice? Home-based businesses represent that perfect job for many women. Columbia Home recently caught up with five local women who, through their home-based businesses, have found that elusive balance between motherhood and, well, everything else. 40 | April/may 2011 â€˘ columbiahl.com
For more than 12 years, Becky McHugh has been selling the upscale clothing lines of the Carlisle and Per Se Collections. McHugh functions as a kind of personal shopper for her clients and four times a year turns the lower level of her home into a showroom for her clients to see the latest seasonal collections. During these peak times, she often works 12-hour days to accommodate her clients’ schedules, but she says on average she works about 75 hours per month. “I love working out of my home,” McHugh says. “It gives me complete control over my schedule and the flexibility to travel. When my children were younger, I was able to volunteer at their school and actively participate in their many activities.” McHugh says she enjoys almost all aspects of her job, but the greatest benefits are flexibility and convenience. “Regardless of the time of day, I can just run to my [in-home] office and take care of business and not have to deal with it the next day,” she says. On the flip side, McHugh notes that because she essentially lives in her office, she is never not working; but she adds, “The convenience totally outweighs that factor.” Becky McHugh, owner of RM Designs, consultant for the Carlisle & Per Se Collections (573) 449-2961 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.carlislecollection.com
With the slogan “Real butter, real chocolate, real good,” it’s no wonder Polka Dots baking is a big, yummy success. Owner Julie Sexten makes special-order cakes, cupcakes, croissants, Danish, scones and cookies for individuals and businesses in the area. She utilizes the best ingredients to create fresh and delicious desserts and pastries. She began Polka Dots six years ago. Sexten is Mom to three girls under the age of 7 and chose to open a homebased business because it allows her the opportunity to do what she loves while still being at home with her children. “It was really important for me to be there to shape their first five years,” Sexten says, “Even though there are constant interruptions and the ever-present chair pulled up beside the mixer, it’s worth it because I know I’m teaching them by example. They see the things that are important to me by the priorities I set in my business, like hard work and treating customers with respect.” She averages about 20 hours per week and says though she could be more efficient working out of a commercial kitchen, she values the opportunity to set her own hours — and spend the precious time with her kids while they’re young. Julie Sexten, owner, Polka Dots (bakery) (573) 445-3745. Email: email@example.com www.polkadotscolumbia.com
For Shauna Henson, the decision to become a Scentsy consultant was an easy one. After receiving a Scentsy plug-in as a gift from a friend in Oklahoma, she went on the company’s website to order another one. She saw they had opportunities for people to work from home selling Scentsy products and thought what better way to meet some new people and make a little money?
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Scentsy makes unique electric warmers that basically serve the same function as a scented candle but are safer and cleaner. They use a low-watt bulb to melt specially formulated scented wax, so there is no flame, soot, smoke or lead. They make more than 80 different fragrances, with fun names such as Honey Pear Cider and Sweet Pea & Vanilla. “I love selling Scentsy,” Henson says. “It’s fun, and it's something I can do while still being completely available for my husband and kids.” Working about five to 10 hours per week, Henson says at this point Scentsy is more of a “fun side job” that she fits in between her family responsibilities. “Right now, I’m content with the level of business I’m doing. I know there is potential for more out there, but with my kids being so young, this is really the perfect job because I can work as little or as much as I want.” Shauna Henson, star consultant, Scentsy (573) 814-9285 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.shaunahenson.scentsy.us
Paige Davis, independent stylist for Stella & Dot, loves her job so much, she hardly considers it work at all. Stella & Dot is a boutique style jewelry line sold exclusively by independent stylists at in-home trunk shows and online. Davis, wife and mother of 2-year-old Jackson, fell in love with the company’s trend-setting and affordable jewelry and decided to work with the company about a year and a half ago. “I love that I am my own boss and have the luxury of creating my own schedule,” Davis says. She says the time she spends each month on Stella & Dot varies but that she is able to work as little or as much as she wants depending on what is going on with her family’s schedule that month. “My first priority in life is my husband and son, and this stylish career allows me to spend my free time to playing dress-up with some fabulous women,” she says. “Who could ask for more?” Paige Davis, independent stylist, Stella & Dot www.stelladot.com/paigeadavis
In 2006, Jennifer Trachsel realized that though she loved being at home with her two young sons, she was missing that adult connection and camaraderie she had when she worked as a teacher. Pregnant with her third child at the time, she was invited to a friend’s Pampered Chef party and fell in love with the products. Now four years later, Trachsel has risen to the upper echelons of The Pampered Chef. She has personally brought on more than 40 consultants all across the country and says she isn’t done yet. The Pampered Chef, one of today’s most recognizable home-based business models, has a worldwide network of consultants who hosts in-home parties to showcase their kitchen and lifestyle products. “It’s amazing that I can run a successful business while still making my family the top priority,” Trachsel says. “Pampered Chef fits into my family’s schedule, not the other way around.” She says she averages about 15 hours of Pampered Chef work per week. “I feel truly blessed to work with The Pampered Chef,” Trachsel says, “Not only do I get to meet new people all the time, which I love, but I get to show people how our products can help them achieve a healthier and more family-oriented lifestyle. That is probably my favorite part of this job.” Jennifer Trachsel, advanced director and trainer, The Pampered Chef www.pamperedchef.biz/jennifertrachsel
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Kurt Hollenberg, Broker/Owner | (573) 474-8205 office | (573) 220-6155 cell
44 | April/may 2011 â€˘ columbiahl.com
On the market Chapel Mills - Estates -
Premium Residential Lots Now Available!
s t o l b Sla $
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www.MissouriLandAndHome.com ~ Directions ~ From Stadium, go south on Forum Blvd., turn west (right) onto Chapel Hill Drive, go north (right) onto Mills Drive
From Nifong, go north onto Forum Blvd, turn west (left) onto Chapel Hill Drive, go north (right) onto Mills Drive
Kurt Hollenberg, Broker/Owner
United Country Missouri Land & Home (573) 474-8205 ofďŹ ce | (573) 220-6155 cell | 2909 Falling Leaf Lane, Ste. J, Columbia, MO 65201 columbia home | 45
You've Come a Long Way, Columbia women make their mark in male-dominated fields. B y Na n c y Ya n g | P h o t o s b y T a y l o r A l l e n st y l i n g b y A l f r e d o m u b a r aH | h a i r a n d mak e u p b y ja r e n f ly n n
Check out the music scene these days, and you’re liable to come across a familiar image from the past. The singer Pink, in her video for the song “Raise your Glass,” pays homage to World War IIera icon Rosie the Riveter, flexing her bicep and sporting a red bandana. Christina Aguilera and Beyoncé have also gotten into the act with harmonies and fashions reminiscent of the 1940s. As is often the lesson of American pop culture, icons never die — they simply reinvent themselves. 46 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
Rosie the Riveter first appeared in 1943 as a title of a song inspired by Rosalind Palmer, who worked the night shift building fighter pilots. (Palmer would go on to become the philanthropist Rosalind P. Walter.) The tune struck a chord with the American public, and when Rosie appeared in living color on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post, she was on her way to becoming a legend. Illustrator Norman Rockwell featured a brawny woman triumphantly taking a lunch break against the backdrop of the American flag. She held a rivet gun in her lap and a copy of Hitler’s Mein Kampf beneath her penny loafer. The name Rosie was scrawled across her lunch box. Today, Rockwell’s painting is part of the permanent collection of the Crystal Bridges Museum of Art in Bentonville, Ark. Rosie the Riveter became the symbol of a national campaign to recruit women for the jobs American soldiers had left behind. The campaign was a smashing success. Rosie appeared in movies, magazines, on Broadway — and in the hearts and imaginations of generations of women to come. Three Columbia women take a cue from Rosie and make their mark in male-dominated fields. For Diane Heuer, Jennifer Kamp and Heather Brown, breaking down barriers is just part of the job.
Artsy low-cut jumpsuit, Swank, $139 Black and gold stretch belt, Calena's Fashions, $25 Jacobies platforms, Britches, $40 Shot on location at the Tiger Hotel
Diane Heuer Owner and Founder of Nemow Insulation
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Growing a business
Diane Heuer grew up in the middle of the 20th century, in the middle of the country and smack dab in an era of social change. Through her mother, a child of the Great Depression and World War II, she learned how to work hard and make do. Through the generation that followed, she was able to choose a male-dominated career with relatively few barriers. Heuer capitalized on her gender when she opened Nemow Insulation Company back in 1977. “People would say I don’t know the name, but you need to call that woman,” she says. Nemow, which is women backwards has been moving forward ever since. Whether through divine providence, the values instilled by her forbearers or a little of both, Heuer believes she’s blessed. True, there are the 16-hour days, the one-time dishonest CPA, the close calls. But there’s something about Heuer that makes you think she thrives on the challenge. “If I won the lottery, I’d live where I live now,” she says. “We are about family. We’ve got a little pond — my parents called it a lake — where we go fishing, swimming and have family time. And we feel like we’re at the Ritz Carlton. We’re simple people. I’m glad I had the opportunity to raise my children and grandchildren out in the country and now get to watch my grandchildren grow up here on the same farm. That is the focus of life.” For 27 years, Heuer ran Nemow Insulation out of the basement of her home, 10 miles north of Columbia. In the beginning, she did it all: bidding, doing the work and then billing the jobs. By 1997, she was able to employ a full-time bookkeeper who, along with her younger son, Rob, helped move her company to a higher level. Heuer says being able to work with her son is like a dream come true. She laughs at the fact that he will also be her retirement. “I couldn’t have pulled this off without mom’s help watching the kids,” she says. Heuer got into the insulation business when, as a divorced mother of two, she needed additional income and went to work part time for another insulation company. Having raised and ridden quarter horses, she was nimble enough to navigate the tight spaces and corners of some jobs, and the contractors she worked with encouraged her to start her own business. She had grown up around construction, she says, and was comfortable with it. “For the strangest reason, I really enjoyed it,” she says. “I’m not geared to going to an office every day. Going someplace different every day agrees with me.” Heuer worked the part-time job for a year before getting the bug to start her own business, a venture that promised to be a rollercoaster of financial worries, frightfully long hours and joy. “I feel so fortunate, so blessed to be working where there are some of the most forward-looking contractors in the U.S.,” she says. Heuer sings the praises of cellulose, a type of insulation made from recycled newspaper that Nemow was the first in town to offer. “There are so many things you can do with $15 worth of material. I need to do a seminar.” A couple of years ago, a program through the city of Columbia to help homeowners pay for energy improvements helped Heuer weather the recession. The program stipulated the use of infrared cameras and blower doors to detect energy loss, so she sent her employees to classes and got certified. Offering the expanded services allowed her to switch gears and survive, just in the nick of time. It would have made her mother proud. “If everybody could have my mom,” Heuer says, “all the girls in the world would think they could do anything they wanted to.” 48 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
the percentage of women firefighters working for the city of Columbia
For as long as she can remember, Jennifer Kamp wanted to be a teacher and a coach. She had umpired softball, helped referee youth basketball and was earning a degree in elementary education. One day, on a lark, she tried something that would change all that. About 11 years ago, Kamp was in her 20s, a time in life when seemingly random events can become turning points. A friend who played softball with her in a summer league told her about how much she enjoyed working as a volunteer firefighter. So Kamp checked it out. “I kind of got hooked,” she says. “I went through training, got into a couple of fires and thought, ‘This is kind of fun.’” Through the grapevine, she heard the city of Columbia was hiring firefighters for fulltime employment. Before long, instead of shaping lives for a living, she was helping to save them. Candidates for the Columbia Fire Department take a written test followed by a rigorous test of their physical ability. The latter is not for the faint of heart. To pass, men and women alike must complete nine arduous tasks in a limited time frame while wearing full bunker gear. Think climbing sets of stairs in a burn tower while carrying unwieldy equipment, completing a blind maze crawl or dragging a 165-pound dummy 50 feet, turning around and dragging it back. “It’s definitely very physically demanding,” Kamp says. Nationally, the pass rate for women is about half of what it is for men. After being pressed, Kamp reveals she passed the first time around, modestly attributing some of her success to her experience volunteering. “Being a female, I don’t ever want to be the person who’s going to hold everyone back,” Kamp says. “I have to work twice as hard to stay strong enough. But that’s the choice I made.” She says she does everything she can to hold herself to a high standard and avoid making gender an issue. Currently, of the 132 firefighters working for the city of Columbia, 7 — or about 5.3 percent — are women. According to the International Association of Women in Fire and Emergency Services, the national average is 3.7 percent. They also report that not one paid woman firefighter has worked in more than half the nation’s fire departments. However in Columbia, women have held firefighting positions for more than 30 years. Melinda Collins and Sandra Schiess first started working for the department in the 1970s. Collins, who went through testing and training in 1975, began working in administration. Three years later, when Schiess also passed the testing, the two women became city firefighters. Collins now works in Ashland, and Schiess is the fire chief in Independence. Kamp offers a little advice for women who are interested in firefighting. Train for it, and work smarter rather than harder. Kamp works out with weights regularly, belongs to the Columbia Multisport Club and has competed in triathlons. When it comes to mental and emotional strength, she recommends approaching the job with ingenuity, adaptability and compassion. As for working in a male-dominated field, she’s pretty much got it down. “Honestly, I can’t say I’ve had any problems from the guys,” she says. Once, someone told her she needed to go to the bathroom to put on her daily uniform. Normally, everyone dresses together in the bunkroom. “I said fine,” she muses. “If I need to go, you do, too.”
Gray jacket, Britches, $40 Black leggings, Calena's Fashions, $69 Satin pump, Britches, $40 Feather necklace, Britches, $15 Shot on location at LaDDER 54 Fire station
Jennifer Kamp Firefighter for the City of Columbia
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Sequined baby pink dress, Elly's, $139
Project Coordinator JE Dunn Construction
“In my job I get to be the glue that pulls everybody together,” she says. “It’s like managing kids with everyone’s schedules and deadlines and all the interactions with individuals. There’s squabbling sometimes, too, but everyone’s working together with the same outcome in mind. It’s a lot like raising a family.” The best thing about her job, Brown says, is getting to watch each project grow and progress. No one project is alike, and the different layouts, techniques and technologies keep her engaged and motivated. The recent move toward sustainability is one example of how fluid and dynamic her work can be. “It’s like piecing together a complex puzzle of work by all these different craftsmen,” she says. “Later we get to step backward after years of working together with a group of people. We can say, ‘Look, this is what we did.’” One of the things Brown has learned about working in a maledominated field is that respect has to be earned. Having a thick skin and keeping a sense of humor are invaluable and can guard against taking things too personally. “What I do like about men is their open, upfront personalities,” she says. “They can chew each other out and then go out and have a drink together.” Having grown up with male cousins, Brown always felt like one of the guys. She says it all comes down to treating others honestly — and not being afraid to try new things. “I tell my kids there are no limits, only the ones you put on yourself.”
Shot on location On University of Missouri Campus
Take a drive past campus on Stadium Boulevard, and they’re hard to miss. Two tower cranes dominate the skyline, reaching up 150 feet in the air before stretching across the complex of buildings and construction sites at the University of Missouri Hospital and Clinics. Somewhere in a trailer below is a woman who’s been doing a little reaching of her own. Heather Brown, project coordinator for JE Dunn Construction Company, has been in the business since she was 19. With two years of college under her belt, she and her husband, Dale, owned and ran a commercial construction company. They had started a family, and the long hours and travel forced them to step back and reevaluate. Sort of. Dale qualified to drive for UPS, while Heather remained in construction, albeit working for someone else. The change meant that she spent most of her days in town rather than on the road, which allowed her to see a lot more of her children. “Having kids has changed my attitude,” Brown says. “Things come up, and you have to adjust. You have to let go of the perfectionism.” It’s hard to imagine what she let go. Brown is the mother of four children between the ages of 5 and 11 and works eight to 10 hours a day coordinating a $203 million construction project. She also completes her bachelor’s degree from William Woods University in May. And she’s training for a marathon. She reveals her secret by opening a vast calendar, the byproduct of what is surely an impeccable gift for organization. Inside, a rainbow of highlighted appointments and activities jostle for attention. She has created the calendar for her grandmother, parents and in-laws who help raise her children, but it offers a peek into her professional life as well. 50 | April/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
Raise Your Glass
Nearly 70 years ago, J. Howard Miller created a poster that would go down in history. It featured a woman, her hair tied back in a bandana, flexing her bicep and declaring, “We can do it!” The poster, designed to recruit women into a depleted workforce during World War II, was displayed in a Westinghouse factory for two weeks in February 1942. There it remained until it was rediscovered in the late 1970s. Since then it has been associated with Rosie the Riveter, the legendary symbol of changing women’s roles in the 20th century. Back when Miller was creating posters for the war effort, a real-life Rosie was making history as well. Rose Penny Ross, 96, and a resident of the Missouri Veterans Home in Mexico, became a Women’s Air Force Service Pilot in 1943. But it wasn’t until 1977 that she and the other 1,000 WASPs serving in World War II were considered part of the military. On March 10, 2010, Ross and about 300 other remaining WASPs received a congressional gold medal from President Barack Obama in Washington, D.C.
According to her son Robert of Moberly, Ross was multi-engine rated and qualified to fly planes such as the B-25, the P-38, P-51 and others, including experimental aircraft. Like all WASPs, she flew non-combat missions, and though she had earned her private pilot’s license before the war, she ended her flying career in 1945. “Mom’s attitude was that she tried to do her part for the war effort,” Ross says. “She did a job that needed to be done and moved on.” After the war, Rose Penny Ross married and started a family. Robert was born on the family farm in Howard County and during high school had a teacher named Mary Burch Nirmaier. Years later, the late Nirmaier would join Rose as the two WASPs from Missouri to personally receive their long-deserved honor in Washington, D.C.
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Five Columbia women share their diverse journeys through motherhood.
By Stephanie Detillier P h o t o s b y Ca r o l e P a t t e r s o n
Catherine, Kim, Joseph, Adeline And Andrew Fallis
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Whether a mom spends 8-to-5 earning a paycheck or rearing her children, she faces a mother lode of time commitments: laundry and lunches, baseball games and bedtimes, homework and housekeeping. Perhaps cartoonist Joseph Farris best captures the essence of modern motherhood in his line drawing of a woman talking to a man at a cocktail party. The punch line simply — and so accurately — reads: “Sure, I’m a working mother — is there any other kind?” As family dynamics shift, decisions about who’s responsible for cleaning, cooking, childcare and career building are no longer clear-cut. Rather than relying on Dr. Spock’s recommendations, many moms are tossing aside the advice books and making decisions based on their values, their family’s needs and their children’s personalities. As Mother’s Day approaches, five Columbia women offer their thoughts on navigating the multitasking, multifaceted, alwaysworking world of motherhood.
Before school, Kim Fallis’ children crawl into bed with her and her husband, Bennet. One by one, they appear: Joseph, 8; Madeline, 7; Andrew, 6; and Catherine, 4. They watch a cartoon before their flurry of morning routines: eating breakfast, brushing teeth, packing lunches. Because one or more of the Fallis kids are involved in chess, gymnastics, baseball, basketball, soccer and ballet, their evenings are rarely free. So Kim conjures up creative ways to have quality family time. On weekend nights, the Fallis family will curl up in the basement, crank up the old-fashioned popcorn maker, make milkshakes and watch movies. On Oscar night, they held their own award ceremony, complete with speeches. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, they cook up a big batch of Grandma Judy’s pancakes, similar to crepes, on the griddle. Kim also spends time with her children throughout the school day. At Mill Creek Elementary School, she’s a room mom for her three oldest children’s classes and the co-chair of the teacher appreciation committee. “I almost feel more busy now doing stuff with my kids than I did when I was working,” Kim says. “But for stay-at-home moms with multiple kids, that’s probably typical.” For 11 years, Kim worked in human resources for Toastmaster, which she says was accommodating for working mothers. When Kim was six months pregnant with Joseph, she found out that he had a congenital heart defect. At three months old, he had open-heart surgery at St. Louis Children’s Hospital, and Kim’s boss allowed her to work from home while caring for him. Because she was in a mother-friendly job, she continued working and employed a nanny until just before her youngest was born. “It wasn’t as hard as some of my friends told me it would be,” says Kim of her transition to at-home parent. “It was very natural, like I should have been doing this sooner. I missed some of the interaction with my co-workers and friends, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” As an added plus, Bennet’s family-friendly job as a medical device salesman for a division of Johnson & Johnson allows him to spend significant time with his family and coach both of his sons’ baseball teams. Kim, a Cubs and MU fan, looks at the Fallis family as its own team. “We win as a team; we lose as a team,” she says. “If one person gets crabby, that spirals. So I approach it as ‘Let’s do what we can to fix it.’” When Kim grew tired of the constant requests for spaghetti or chicken fingers for supper, she asked her children what she could do to expand their eating habits. They suggested trying a different meal each night. On Sundays, the family now sifts through cookbooks, and each child selects a recipe. Kim says, so far, white bean chili, homemade chicken noodle soup and tacos have been favorites. “They’re eating better food of a wider variety,” she says, “and they’re having fun with it.” Not fans of baby talk, she and Bennet treat their children like mini adults, with valid opinions and family responsibilities. “We give them the opportunity to tell us if they disagree and to explain or justify their behavior,” she says. “That doesn’t mean they always get their way, but we allow our kids to be involved in the decision-making process. We want them to feel like active members of the family. Bennet provides for us financially, but we all have to contribute something to make the house function.”
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Kat i e W e l c h
Motherhood is always on Dr. Katie Welch’s mind. In her role as an obstetrician/gynecologist, she sees the sacrifices women make to have children and relishes handing moms their babies for the first time. In her other role as the mom of a Fairview Elementary third-grader, Katie works hard to provide Elizabeth a well-rounded childhood and savors seeing her daughter experience things for the first time. “It doesn’t feel like a challenge,” Katie says of her dual responsibilities. “You just learn that you don’t have to have an elaborate dinner cooked every night, and your house doesn’t have to be perfect. Life goes on, even if your floors haven’t been mopped in two weeks.” Elizabeth was born just as Katie was finishing her medical residency in Wilmington, N.C. Six weeks later, Katie joined a private OB/GYN practice in North Carolina while her husband, Jonathan Musco, stayed home with Elizabeth. When their daughter turned 1, Jonathan started medical school himself. In 2006, Katie applied for a position with Women’s Health Associates in Columbia. She and Jonathan wanted to move here because of the city’s good public schools and proximity to Katie’s parents; however, Jonathan hadn’t finished school yet. For a year, they lived apart while Katie was essentially a single mom. In fact, Katie barely remembers anything about that year until Jonathan prods her memory.
Dr. katie and elizabeth welch
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“Taking out the trash was my breaking point,” she recalls with a laugh. “I don’t know why, but taking out the trash is one of those things I don’t miss having to do myself.” She and Jonathan, now a chief radiology resident for University of Missouri Health Care, carefully plot out their schedules six months in advance to make sure they both aren’t on call at the same time. Their evening schedules dictate who will pick up Elizabeth from Adventure Club or take her to gymnastics or Taekwondo lessons. Working for Women’s Health Associates, a large group, has given Katie more time to be a mom. During her residency and in her first practice, she was on call every fourth night; now she’s only on call three times a month. She also clocks out at noon twice a week, which allows her to pick Elizabeth up from school and shop for groceries. Her patients understand that if they suddenly go into labor and Katie’s not on call, they’ll be cared for by one of her partners at Women’s Health Associates. Although she occasionally might have to work on Christmas, which forces Santa to pass a night early, Katie sees the rewards of her long hours. She has the pleasure of telling a patient she’s pregnant, helping a mom through a 12-week premature birth or getting Christmas photos of babies she’s delivered. “I’m in their lives during this happy, life-changing time and end up having neat relationships with people because of that,” she says. Elizabeth, though, has already assured her parents that she won’t follow in their medical footsteps. “I tell her that whatever she does in life, I just expect her to do it to the best of her ability,” Katie says. “I want her to do well in school and be achieving — but not overachieving at the expense of other things.”
K at i e Ha r r i s
Katie Harris felt strange as she browsed the aisles of Target one February morning. It was her first solo weekday excursion after leaving her part-time job, and she felt almost guilty shopping without her daughter, Grace. “I felt like I was missing an arm without her,” Katie says about her talkative 3-year-old, who attends Discovery Days Preschool three mornings a week. Becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t an easy decision, but strong motherly instincts are what Katie has relied on when determining both what her daughter needs and what ratio of career versus home life works for her family. “Young children can’t tell you everything they need, and that’s when motherly instinct kicks in,” Katie says. “You know what’s best for your child and your family.” While pregnant, Katie thought a lot about her career. She knew her family needed her income, and after having Grace, she returned to her full-time job as the communications coordinator for the University of Missouri System. Katie says her family was fortunate that Grace’s grandparents — Michael and Nancy Perry and Bob and Jerry Harris — live in Columbia, which allows them to babysit Grace and develop a close relationship with her. Despite the help, Katie’s work-to-life ratio didn’t seem right, and at the time her husband, Jeff, was often traveling as he campaigned for Missouri attorney general. Katie found a part-time job at Knorr Marketing Communications, where she was director of communications strategy until February 2011.
“In terms of finding a work-life balance and wanting to continue my professional career, it was perfect,” Katie says. But family situations and priorities change. “When it comes between work and family, you always choose your family,” she says. “That’s always the right decision.” Because Jeff, who’s the governor’s policy director in Jefferson City, works long hours, Katie handles Grace’s morning and night routines, and weekends are mostly spent at home to allow for father-daughter time. Katie says she and Jeff, who have been married for eight years, have learned that structure works best for their daughter. “When she gets up in the morning, she wants to know where we are going today, who’s going to put her down to rest, who’s coming over to visit,” Katie says. “It gives her a sense of security, which helps her grow and thrive.” Katie, who remains involved in the community as chair of the city’s Cultural Affairs Commission, says what she enjoys most as a mom is being able to see Grace grow. Described by Katie’s friends as “a big personality in a tiny package,” Grace has become more social and confident in the past six months. As Katie settles into her stay-at-home mom role, she hopes to take up Pilates again and return to creative writing, a passion that she had put on hold while working and raising a toddler. Short stories are her preferred genre, but her real dream would be to author a children’s book, all the more fitting now that she has her own built-in audience.
katIe and grace harris
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Ker i T i p to n
Don’t mistake Keri Tipton for the stereotypical company president. She doesn’t take time off of work just because she can. However, she doesn’t put in 80-hour workweeks either: “I try to keep my work hours 8-to-5. I work hard while I’m at work, but I make sure that my family is my first priority.” In 2007, as she approached age 40 — with a toddler in tow — Keri figured it was as good a time as any to start her own media planning and placement company. “I decided to take the leap,” she says. “I just jumped right in.” The business took off much quicker than she imagined. Within a month and a half, Keri and her business partner had drummed up enough clients to hire their first employee, and three months after Bucket Media opened, the company moved into its modern loft office suite. Without a long line of support, Keri says she wouldn’t have been able to build a company while raising Aden, who was 1 1/2 then. Her husband, Scott, who works for Atkins, is a hands-on dad, and Keri’s parents live only a few doors away from their grandson, now a kindergartner. “There were a lot of sacrifices my family had to make for me to start a new business,” Keri says. “It was key that my husband was on board with my mission and understood what I was trying to do.” Out-of-town business trips are still tough, though, especially when Aden flashes his big brown sad eyes as she’s leaving. Once, Keri missed a holiday party at Aden’s preschool, and he asked her why she couldn’t make it when all the other mommies had. “After that, I vowed to never miss another thing like that,” she says. “I didn’t think it was a big deal because Scott was there, but to Aden it was.” Keri admits that she’s guilty of spoiling her son and has a more relaxed parenting style. “But he’s a good student, very well behaved and everyone’s friend,” she says. “Now, in a safe place, in the comfort of our home, he’s a 5-year-old who can be ornery, which I sometimes find cute.” In addition to her work, Keri keeps involved in the community as chair of the Chamber Ambassadors and a past president of Rainbow House. She says she feels comfortable with her work-to-home ratio and doesn’t wish she were dedicating more time to either. “I want to be successful in business while being the best mom I can be,” Keri says. “I think I have truly mastered the balance of both.” 56 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
keri and aden tipton
Sarah, aiden and ethan dubbert
S a r a h D u b b e rt When Sarah Dubbert was in the fifth grade, her father was diagnosed with a rare disease, a moment that helped her put life in perspective. “I learned that if you can’t fix, change or affect it, then why worry or obsess over it?” she says. Sarah takes the same practical approach to parenting. She’s doesn’t insist on taking a family vacation every year or having formal date nights with her husband, Joe. She’s not worried about the pile of shoes left next to the front door or the Pampers on the stairwell. In fact, the Osso Buco simmering on the stove almost seems out of place. But Sarah quickly admits that her husband’s the chef. “Joe does all the cooking,” she says. “If I have to cook, it’s out of a phonebook, not a cookbook.” That’s how the Dubbert household keeps running. Everyone has responsibilities and pulls his or her weight. Aidan, a tender-hearted 6-year-old who just lost his first tooth, cleans his dishes and does his laundry. Ethan, a rough-and-tumble 18-month-old, helps throw away trash and picks up his toys. As vice president and treasury services manager for Commerce Bank’s central Missouri region, Sarah divides her professional time between working in her Columbia office and traveling to meet with clients. She’s also the dean of counselors for Missouri Girls State and a board member for Rain of Central Missouri, Ronald McDonald House Charities of Mid-Missouri and MU’s Kappa Delta Sorority chapter. Despite her time commitments, working mom guilt is something she avoids. “My clients feel like they have access to me, and my family still feels like they’re my priority,” she says. “I might have to attend a business function at 6 p.m. or take a call from a client at 9 p.m., but it’s a great example for the kids to see.” A former high school teacher, Sarah takes pride in raising her children to be civic-minded and independent thinkers. During Aidan’s kindergarten orientation, a parent asked the students what they want to be when they grow up. After other boys shared aspirations to become baseball players or firemen, it was Aidan’s turn: “My mom says I can be anything I want to be, but I can’t live at home.” For Sarah, being a working mom is less about juggling and more about integrating the Dubberts’ family, work and social lives. Her advice to mothers is the same as Tim Gunn’s advice to Project Runway contestants: Make it work. “There’s not one good way to do it,” she says. “It all comes down to what works for you, your family, your kids and your job.” columbia home | 57
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feature | women as negotiators
Taking It to the Top When to speak up for yourself in the workplace — and why it really matters By Dianna Borsi O’Brien
eresa Maledy didn’t start off as the president of Commerce Bank. She didn’t even start out in banking. But if she hadn’t negotiated for herself, Maledy might still be working in the cash management division instead of heading up Commerce Bank’s Central Missouri Region as president and CEO, overseeing 150 employees. The turning point came more than two decades ago when she was working in Kansas City. Her boss, the manager of the cash management division where she worked, left to take another job. The division executive invited her to lunch to discuss the open position, lauded her job performance but said she didn’t have enough experience for the new opening. At first, Maledy accepted his praise and the situation. But the next day, she called him and told him flat out, “I feel I can do it,” and proceeded to outline her qualities and why she was the right candidate for the job. She then noted she might need extra help at first but stated she was ready to take the next step into management. The executive heard her and named her to the position as the interim manager. Three months later, she got the promotion — and a significant raise. The rest, as they say, is history. The story demonstrates the value of negotiating and several negotiating principals all women should put in place. Why negotiating i s i m p o rta n t The cost of women’s historical hesitancy to negotiate shows up in dollars and cents. Today, women make an average of 80 percent as much as men, according to a Feb. 16, 2011, report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That’s up from 62 cents on a dollar in 1979 and down a penny from a high of 81 percent in 2005 and 2006. These figures are drawn from an analysis of data from the Current Population Survey and compare men and women working full time in wage or salary jobs. The data does provide some good news. In construction, women earn 92 percent of men’s earnings; however, in financial services women earn only 71 percent of men’s median wages. Although the BLS doesn’t say why this gap exists, plenty of other publications do. Some of the difference can be blamed on women taking time out from paid jobs to care for children or aging parents. “But much of this difference is due to the reluctance of women to believe that they deserve more and the hesitancy of females to use their bargaining skills to obtain greater
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salary increases,” notes Charles B. Craver in his review of the book, Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide. Although Craver goes on to note the dangers of wage differentials based on gender such as a company being exposed to liability under the Equal Pay Act, he says empirical evidence — research — shows women are less comfortable bargaining than men. For women, the problem results in less money in their pockets all their lives. As Dianne Lynch, president of Stephens College, notes, “When you start low, you stay low.” That’s because raises often come in terms of a percentage of your income, so a woman’s reluctance to negotiate for what she’s worth will continue to harm her all her working life. G e t t i n g w h at yo u a re worth So what’s a woman to do? Negotiating is a skill that can be learned, says Cathy Atkins, owner of Savant Business Development Systems, a Sandler Training center in Columbia. In fact, it’s one of her favorite topics to teach, she says. Her firm provides coaching and trains 50 to 100 individuals a month in person and online. Although negotiation skills can be learned, Atkins says, “No one learns it overnight, and you get better with practice.” Maledy’s negotiation skills might have come from her background. With a degree from Stephens College’s equestrian program, she managed a stable and taught equestrian science before going into banking. She learned while working with horses and riders that you can’t bully your way through life; you have to evaluate skills and look for ways to motivate both horse and rider. And that takes both finesse and pluck. As Maledy looks back on her negotiating turning point, she says: “I had the courage to come back to him and say I’m able to do this. I did not accept it; I pushed back a little bit.” Finally, she offers this advice to other women: “If you don’t speak up, you might not be heard.”
Women’s Spirit Series Join Columbia Home Magazine at the first gathering in a series of personal and professional development events designed for women.
Tickets: $45 Limited availability. Reserve your space immediately. Tables available for groups of 6 or more. See the pages of Columbia Home come alive. Enjoy lunch and networking opportunities while learning about Ms. Atkins effective negotiating tips.
Tuesday, May 17 • Noon-1:30pm Country Club of Missouri • 1300 Woodrail Ave., Columbia, MO Cathy Atkins of Sandler Training –Savant Business Development Systems will provide a powerful presentation on “Effective Negotiations”
Lunch will be provided in the Country Club of Missouri followed by a Q&A session with Ms. Atkins and a networking opportunity for all guests. For reservations call Cindy Sheridan 499-1830 ext. 0, or go to www.columbiahl.com
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N e g ot i at i n g adv i c e
Atkins, Maledy and Lynch provided these negotiating tips:
1. Acceptance: “You get what you negotiate for,” Atkins says, "so accept that you negotiate every single day in all aspects of your life, whether it’s buying a car, getting your teenager to come home at a reasonable hour or minimizing the time you spend with your in-laws at Thanksgiving.” 2. Wear Kevlar: No matter what’s said, don’t take it personally, advises Atkins and others. Remember, whoever becomes emotional first loses. If necessary, take time out so you can rein in your emotions. 3. Attitude adjustment: Begin with the attitude that negotiation is an effort to find common ground and move toward finding the best possible outcome, Lynch says. This helps to keep the discussion from becoming emotional. Remember, Lynch adds, “Reasonable people can disagree and often do.” 4. Plan: Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to you. Know what you want. Years before Maledy’s eventful lunch, she’d written on a performance evaluation that she wanted to head up her department. When her opportunity came, she knew what she wanted — and she asked for it. 5. Anticipate: Some people, including some men, see negotiating as a game, so anticipate what strategies they might use, Atkins says. 6. Recognize: Know the kind of person you are
dealing with, what’s important to them, what type of information they value, what kind of information might influence them, what type of approach might work, Maledy advises.
Step back: During a conflict, instead of assigning negative motives such as your child is trying to be disrespectful or someone at the office wants to make you look bad, step back and look at what he or she said and how or why you disagree. Stay objective, and, if necessary, write down the facts to remove any emotions, Lynch says.
Stop: During negotiations, Lynch says it is crucial to stop, pause and spend a moment in the other person’s shoes to understand his or her perspective on the situation. The best results, she says, come from negotiations that involve respect and mutual understanding.
9. Know your bottom line: Atkins says it’s important to know when to pull your final card, when to say, “I’m done,” what you won’t give up and what you will. 10. Pick your battles: Maledy says it’s important to know when to walk away but also ad62 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
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vises patience. The time to negotiate might come again if you keep your eyes open.
11. Get a mentor: Atkins advises all women to find a mentor, someone who negotiates effectively. Look for someone with “the heart of a warrior, the spirit of a servant” and someone tough enough to tell you if you’re doing something wrong. 12. Give yourself permission: Women often have a tape inside telling us we can’t speak up, Atkins says. Give yourself the permission to speak up for yourself, to upset someone, to offend someone and get your needs met. 13. Believe: Bolster your confidence and your belief in yourself. Atkins advises using positive statements on a daily basis, reading them before going to sleep and then journaling on them each morning. The statement should be something you can’t wiggle out of such as, “I am this,” or “I do this.” Take out all the qualifiers, she says.
Wage-Discrimination Busters: What You Need to Know
1963: On June 10, 1963, John F. Kennedy signs the Equal Pay Act into law. It is designed to eliminate pay discrimination for women. The law requires equal pay for (substantially) equal work. At this time, women are making 59 cents for each $1 men are paid, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, Historical Income Tables. 1992: EEOC information shows more than 1,200
accusations of pay discrimination based on sex were filed. Annually, the number of such claims ranges from a high of 1,381 in 1993 to a low of 818 in 2007. Each year, reasonable cause is found in 4 to 9 percent of the cases, according to the website eeoc.gov/eeoc/statistics/enforcement/epa.cfm
2009: On Jan. 29, 2009, President Barack Obama signs into law the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which strengthens the Equal Pay Act and resets the time limit for filing a complaint with each paycheck rather than starting the filing time limit with the first act of discrimination, which could be long before an employee realizes discrimination has taken place. 2011: The Paycheck Fairness Act, which proponents say would have strengthened the enforcement of the Equal Pay Act and assured women they would not be punished for seeking wage information on male colleagues, was stymied by Republicans in the U.S. Senate. 64 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
2011: The Bureau of Labor Statistics releases a report stating women now make an average of 80 cents on every $1 paid to men, down from 81 cents in 2005 and 2006.
The Equal Pay Act:
• Covers all forms of wages, including expense reimbursement, benefits, vacation, etc. • Individuals with a complaint can go directly to court or to the EEOC (U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). • The time limit for filing a complaint is 180 days.
• Equal skill, especially ability, education, training • Equal effort, the same mental or physical exertion • Equal responsibility, the degree of accountability such as overseeing employees, income, property • Equal pay for equal working conditions, which can include physical characteristics of the workplace such as temperature or safety aspects
When is unequal pay OK?
A difference in pay is permitted when it is based on: • Seniority, merit, quantity or quality of production • A factor other than sex. “These are known as “affirmative defenses,” and it is the employer’s burden to prove that they apply,” according to the EEOC website, eeoc.gov/eeoc/publications/fs-epa.cfm
What to do?
If you feel you are experiencing pay discrimination based on your sex, you may contact either the Missouri Commission on Human Rights or U.S. EEOC by telephone or in writing. In a letter, provide your name, contact information, the name of the company and its location and the allegation, what happened and when it happened, along with a statement of intent that you want to file an Equal Pay Act charge. Finally, sign and date the letter. Then the EEOC will investigate and, as required by law, come to a conclusion within two years. Missouri Commission on Human Rights, (877) 781-4236, www.labor.mo.gov/mohumanrights/ U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 1 (800) 669-4000 or the St. Louis office at (314) 539-7880, www.eeoc.gov/employees/howtofile.cfm
Resources A Woman's Guide to Successful Negotiating by Lee E. Miller and Jessica Miller Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury and Bruce Patton Secrets of Six-Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life by Barbara Stanny Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation — and Positive Strategies for Change by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
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New House |Old Charm “We looked at two other big builders in town and we felt they wanted to build our home their way and not our way, by gearing us to use a certain cabinet maker or use a certain window brand. I had a specific vision. I wanted a 1930’s style “Ender” home. It was by chance we found Jeremy. During our first meeting I was so impressed that he LISTENED to me, he paid attention, he was polite and gracious. We found that he is beyond his years in experience, talent and innovation. He put his heart and soul into our home and gave us exactly what we asked for. We couldn’t have asked for a better builder.” - Diane and Gary Sluyter
573.214.2495 www.spillmancontracting.com • email@example.com
Who’s the best dad you know? Sit down, pour yourself a cup of coffee, log onto www.columbiahl.com and enter your favorite father.
Now through the end of July, we’ll be accepting nominations for Columbia Home’s Best Dads. We’ll narrow your nominations to the top 20, and they will be featured in the August/September issue of Columbia Home. Then, in October, we will host a party to celebrate the winners!
A portion of the proceeds from the first annual Best Dad’s event will go to the Central Missouri Food Bank, Buddy Pack Program.
What makes your dad so great? Tell us about it! Go to www.columbiahl.com and click on Best Dad link.
Strategies to Advance Your Career The best way to advance your career is to get proactive. You cannot sit around and expect advances to drop into your lap. Take charge of your professional future by using the following strategies: Set an Appointment with the Boss Although you might think that your work speaks for itself, you are probably just one of many employees to your boss. To make yourself stand out from the crowd, set up an appointment to meet with your boss. Tell your boss directly that you are very interested in your work future. Stress how important your career at the company is to you. Tell your boss that you want to do whatever it takes to meet the goals of the business.
Ask for More Responsibility The more you do, the more valuable you will be to your company. Volunteering to take on extra work or to head up an event will no doubt get you noticed. Helping out your coworkers is also a good idea. This shows your company that you are indeed a team player.
Be a People Person No matter how great you might be at your work, if you are difficult to be around, no one will want to promote you. The higher up in a company you are, the more people skills you will need to successfully interact with employees and clients. If you lack people skills, you’ll be overlooked the next time a promotion comes along. Being a people person is crucial for advancing your career. Listen when people speak, give everyone respect, regardless of their position, and communicate effectively. Be friendly and approachable. Take the time to engage in small talk.
In 2002 my husband Dwain and I bought a home in Monticello Acres. It was built in 1987 and the previous owners had not taken care of the home. It needed a complete overhaul. A friend of mine recommended Lori. When we met I was amazed at her knowledge on everything, from the building process to interior design. C
Since then we’ve had Lori back on several occasions to remodel our kitchen and now our family room. We are always so impressed with the quality of products she is able to bring into our home. I would consider her products heirloom quality pieces, definitely not what you find at the local outlet stores. For us she was able to blend traditional and contemporary styles in a seamless and beautiful way. Not only is Lori a wonderful interior designer but now a good friend of mine. You’re not just getting a designer with Lori. She is a genuinely delightful person & a joy to work with.
Participate in Meetings Whenever you are asked to attend a meeting, be on time. When you arrive, try to get a seat close to the person who is leading the meeting. Participate in any discussions that might arise, and use your manners at all times. This strategy can go far in getting you noticed.
Lori Pewitt, Owner
One thing that most successful people have in common is their willingness to learn and to have an open mind. If you think you know everything and you are not open to new ideas, the chances are slim that you’ll have advancement in your career any time soon. Be open to taking night classes, attending seminars or whatever else you need to do to keep you in the mainstream and on the cutting edge of your industry.
We hired Lori to help us with the remodel. It was huge job, from stripping and moving walls, creating a master bathroom, redesigning the master bedroom to finishing the basement.
Photo by Carole Patterson
If you are given a task at work and you find that you are unable to complete it because you are unsure of something, be honest about it. Employers respect employees who can ask for input and help. They don’t like employees who bluff along and halfway do a job. Never be afraid to ask for help or to seek out mentoring.
Be Thankful If someone has helped you on a project or given you advice that was truly helpful, take the time to let him or her know that you are thankful. Depending on the situation, this can be a simple "thank you" in person, or it can be a hand-written note or a small appropriate gift. Don’t just acknowledge the people who are in a higher position than you either. By demonstrating your graciousness to people below you on the career ladder, you will make your supervisors see that you are a good manager. Article provided by: www.femaleforum.com, Online Community for Women
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artist profile | shana farr
Photo By maurizo bacci-studio babaldi
Columbia native Shana Farr has become a showstopper on New York City stages and in the jewelry industry.
By Stephanie Detillier
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Hickman, led the high school marching band as drum major, lent her vocals at Broadway Christian Church and more. “It was evident at a very young age that Shana was destined to be on a stage,” says her mother, Jan. When Farr was 8, her parents enrolled her in Saturday morning acting classes at CEC, where she took lessons through her freshman year of high school, and the performing arts soon consumed Farr’s life. The budding actress added the flute in fourth grade and choir in sixth grade to her growing artistic repertoire. At Hickman, she performed in musicals such as Hello Dolly and The Sound of Music. “It was not until I left that I began to realize how lucky children are who grow up in Columbia,” Farr says. “There really are some great opportunities to be had as a child.” During a field trip with the West Junior High Drama Club, Farr caught her first glimpse of New York City — and the Broadway bug bit her hard. “I came home and told my parents I was going to live in New York some day,” she says. After graduating from Hickman High School, Farr stayed in town to attend MU on a flute scholarship but continued to pursue theater. The summer after her freshman year of college, she starred in the production of My Funny Valentine with the Rhynsburger Repertory Theater. It was her first professional show and an affirmation that performing is what she wanted to pursue. Her junior year, she transferred to Boston University and earned a degree in voice performance. Ta ki n g t h e N e w Yo rk stage With her slender frame, blonde hair and blue eyes, Farr has been described as both
hether Shana Farr is delivering another captivating stage performance or designing a new piece for her jewelry line, she finds a way to meld Old World grace with modern strength. As a critically acclaimed actress and singer in New York City, Farr mixes her bubbly charm with her powerful soprano voice. And, in her Shana Farr Designs jewelry venture, she blends antique patterns with the latest designer trends. Her consistent themes of old and new, delicate and tough reflect who Farr is both professionally and personally. In 1998, Farr, a Columbia native, drove a 14-foot U-Haul from Boston to New York alone, without a job and with little savings. Through perseverance, dedication and many auditions, she landed several leading roles in theaters throughout New York City. On the 72 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
surface, she might seem like the classic feminist, but just as is evident in her work, she also has a timeless, old-fashioned side. “From my perspective, I try to live my life looking for the good and for the beauty in everything and in everyone,” Farr says. “Our generation of females has been raised to be strong and independent. But we sometimes forget to embrace our inner grace and beauty, which are also very powerful.” In New York theater circles and in the competitive jewelry business, Farr’s style of feminine strength has helped make her a standout. Ba sk i n g i n t h e M i s s o u r i s p ot l i g h t s Columbia was Farr’s first stage. She acted in Columbia Entertainment Company performances, played the flute at West Junior and
a “young Christie Brinkley” and “young Cheryl Tiegs.” But her voice is what really wows audiences. After Farr settled into her New York environs, she began performing with the Village Light Opera Group, a well-respected community theater company. During a performance of The Merry Widow, the director of the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players took notice of Farr and asked her to audition for a role in The Yeomen of the Guard. She was cast as the understudy for the lead character, Elsie. Twenty-four hours before opening night at New York City Center, Farr learned that she’d be performing the role as a last-minute replacement because the original actress was sick. The morning after her performance, Farr awoke to rave reviews from New York’s theater critics. David A. Rosenberg commented in Backstage that “something’s amiss when the understudy steals the show.” Frank Scheck of the New York Post also heaped praise: “Best of all was Shana Farr … in the leading role, this beautiful young performer delivered a polished and vocally radiant turn.” Accessoriz i n g h e r ca r e e r When Farr moved to New York City, she knew she needed a stable job to ensure she could pay the bills. But she wasn’t really looking for a job in jewelry. In fact, her only related experience was a six-month stint working at the JCPenney jewelry counter in the Columbia Mall. After a couple months of temp jobs, however, Farr was offered a position
SS REFINISHING SYS TE M
INISH | FAST! GREAT F | T R N STA CLEA
with one of the most famous fine jewelers in the world, Harry Winston. At Harry Winston, Farr began as a “salon girl,” or sales assistant, and worked her way up to global director of merchandising and product development. That experience led her to a position as director of merchandising with The Aaron Group, a wholesale manufacturer that develops jewelry for department stores, mall jewelers, warehouse clubs and shopping networks. While at The Aaron Group, Farr developed a line of silver and gemstone jewelry called Silver Elegance, by Shana. She sold her pieces on shopping channels in Tokyo, London, Paris and Munich, but all the travel took her away from opportunities to perform in New York City. In December 2008, Farr left the Aaron Group and began reflecting on her future. “I was burned out and didn’t think I’d do anything in the jewelry business again,” Farr says. “But the jewelry industry is where I honed some valuable skills, so I began wondering if I could do this on my own.” While eating Chinese takeout one night, Farr began jotting down a list of the pros and cons of starting her own jewelry business. When she cracked open her fortune cookie, the slip of
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NO DUST – NO MESS Professional hardwood maintenance can dramatically improve the appearance of wood floors and bring back their original luster.
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paper read: “Do not close your eyes to doors that are opening.” That was February 2008. By October of that year, Farr had developed a collection of 44 jewelry pieces, which she began selling at www.shanafarrdesigns. com and through private trunk shows across the country. Paying homage to her inspiration, her signature piece is a fortune cookie pendant, complete with a fortune inside, which customers can personalize when ordering. “The fortune cookie will always be my signature piece,” Farr says, “but I hope to bring in different versions as the years go by.” Evoking a strong sense of femininity, Farr’s designs are whimsical, intricate and elegant. For inspiration, she looks to nature, old picture frames and old New York architecture with its wood-carved ceilings and fabric-covered walls. Her creative process begins with larger-thanlife design sketches, which allow her to play with the patterns and details she’s known for. She then draws her designs down to scale and sends them to a manufacturer that interprets them into 3-D images and creates wax molds. Farr currently works with overseas manufacturers; however, she’s begun working with a New York City-based factory and hopes to eventually produce all of her jewelry in the United States, making Shana Farr Designs an American luxury brand.
Finding an intimate audience When Farr started her jewelry line, she had no intention of leaving the stage. Although she no longer had the time to stand in audition lines, she was determined to figure out how to do both. Farr began researching the intimate performance world of cabaret. Cabaret, an entertainment form that flourished in Chicago speakeasies during the Prohibition era, typically refers to a 60-minute show usually in a nightclub or restaurant with audiences sitting at tables and enjoying dinner and/or drinks. In the summer of 2009, Farr produced her first cabaret show, Pure Imagination.
While performing Pure Imagination at The Laurie Beechman Theatre in New York City, she got another lucky break. A booking agent for Feinstein’s, a luxe supper club on Park Avenue, was in the audience and invited her to perform in the world-class venue. In August 2010, Farr was invited to return to Feinstein’s to perform her second cabaret act, Finding the Magic: Through Songs of Julie Andrews. “Julie Andrews was my childhood idol,” Farr says. “This second show is based on my journey from Columbia to New York, finding my passion for music, and I use songs made popular by Julie Andrews to help tell my story.” Performing her own cabaret shows doesn’t limit Farr to New York City. On April 15 through 17, she’s bringing Finding the Magic to Jack’s Gourmet Restaurant in Columbia. Melissa Applegate, Jack’s co-owner, says Farr performed Pure Imagination there last year to an impressed crowd. “Reaction was highly positive; Farr has a beautiful voice that shines through in the songs she selects,” Applegate says. “This is something unique for Jack’s and unique for the Columbia area.” Farr says entering the world of cabaret has allowed her to dedicate enough time to singing and continuing her jewelry career. “I can sing anywhere,” Farr says. “I don’t have to be on Broadway or traveling the world. I found singing in intimate supper clubs and occasional regional theater to be very satisfying. As long as I can sing, I’m happy.”
Upcoming Columbia P er f ormances:
Finding the Magic: Through Songs of Julie Andrews Jack’s Gourmet, 1903 Business Loop • Reservations: (573) 449-3927 Show times: Fri. April 15, 7 p.m. • Sat. April 16, 7 p.m. • Sun. April 17, 2 p.m. $20 ticket + $15 food/beverage minimum. This does not include tax or gratuity. *Restaurant opens at 5:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 12:30 p.m. Sunday 74 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
5710 Bull Run Rd • Columbia MO, USA 65201 573-777-1234 • www.ashleyfurniture.com
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health | allergies
Spring Allergy Alert
Pollen, house dust, grasses and mold: Finding relief from the things that make you sneeze spring is upon us
, and for many people the joy of awakening flowers, trees and grasses can be overshadowed by symptoms of seasonal allergy. Watery eyes, runny nose, sneezing and nasal congestion tend to be the stigmata of airborne-particle-induced allergies. Seasonal allergies occur during certain times of the year, generally during the spring, summer or fall, and symptoms result from an overreaction by the body’s immune system to a foreign substance such as pollens or molds. Pollens are fine powdery grains that are released by nearly all plants to fertilize flowers and create seeds. It is estimated that more than 35 million Americans suffer from allergic reactions to airborne allergens such as pollen. In the spring (March – May) most airborne pollens come from trees. In the summer (May – August) pollens come primarily from grasses. In the fall (August – October/first frost) pollens from weeds, most notably ragweed, tend to cause even more problems with seasonal allergies.
By Dr.Greg Renner
What trees are more likely to cause allergy? Although not alone, oak trees are the most likely to cause allergies here in Missouri. Other trees that produce allergenprone pollen include maples, ash, birches, cottonwood, sycamore, elm, hickory, walnut, pecan, juniper and olive. Molds are another common source of allergy. They can grow almost anywhere but are most commonly found in warm, moist places or areas with damp vegetation and compost. They also tend to be found in basements and bathrooms. In homes, molds can grow all year long, but mold spores tend to multiply when indoor humidity is higher than 50 percent, which is usually during the warmer months. Missouri tends to have higher mold counts in the spring. Ti p s to h e l p avo id a i r b o r ne allergens • Avoid going outdoors on dry, windy days when pollen counts are high. Pollen counts tend to be highest between 5 and 10 a.m. If you know exactly what plant pollens you are allergic to, take notice of when those plants are germinating in your region. • Beware of general high pollen counts in your area. Various media sources often give notices of pollen count levels. Some Internet sources also provide this information. Three good sources are: 1) National Allergy Bureau www.aaaai.org/nab/ index.cfm?p=pollen ; 2) www.pollen.com ; 3) www.Zyrtec.com • Keep windows closed when outdoor allergen counts are high. Use air conditioning to cool your home in the summer months. Keep car windows closed, and use recirculate for air movement within the car. • Hire someone else to cut your grass, or wear a protective facemask if you cut your own lawn. Wear eyeglasses or goggles to minimize allergen contact with the eyes. • Vacuum carpets more often, and clean areas of the house that are more prone to collect dust and pollens. Beware also of indoor allergens, particularly house dust, which are common causes of inhalant allergy. • Be aware that pets can carry pollens or mold spores in their coats. Limit their outdoor activity in times of high pollen count. Bath your pets more often during times of concern. Keep pets off of couches and other furniture when pollen counts are high. • Avoid having or living near plants to which you are allergic. Understand, however, that airborne pollens and spores can travel great distances and might not be truly avoidable. columbia home | 79
H ow ca n I avo id s e a s o na l a l l e r g i e s ? Once an allergy is developed, there is no certain, safe way for one to be “cured.” The best treatment for seasonal allergies is to avoid the offending allergen or at least minimize exposure to the allergen as much as practically possible.
Tr e at m e n t s There are many medications and other strategies that are available to help deal with the symptomatic treatment of seasonal allergy. • Saline irrigations of the nasal cavities can be very helpful to wash away offending allergens and help clear excessive mucous. Delivery of saline to the nose can be done in a variety of ways from simple sprays to more elaborate nasal washing or irrigating systems. There is controversy about whether isotonic or hypertonic saline solutions work best. • Nasal steroid sprays can be administered with a prescription. It might take several days of repeated use to obtain optimal benefit, and in some cases actual benefit may be limited. • Antihistamine drugs block the release or action of histamine, an important mediator in producing the inflammatory response in allergy. Many antihistamines cause sedation. • Decongestant medications are similar to adrenaline and can shrink the blood vessels in the nasal membranes and allow the soft tissues of the nasal walls to also shrink and open up the air passages. Decongestant nasal sprays can be very powerful at reducing acute intranasal inflammation and open up nasal/sinus passages but must be used with caution to potential side effects. Repeated use of a decongestant nasal spray, such as oxymetazoline, for more than about three days can result in a rebounding of nasal congestion that can create a state of dependence or need for further repeated usage (rhinitis medicamentosa). Excessive use may also aggravate problems with high blood pressure, fast pulse, headache, dizziness, nervousness or insomnia. • There are several other medications that can be helpful against allergy. For many it is best to have allergy testing and undergo a series of specific allergy shots. Some allergy treatment can now be administered sublingually (under the tongue), avoiding shots. A discussion with your doctor may help determine which treatment for seasonal allergy would be best for a given individual. Most primary care physicians are familiar with the general management of seasonal allergy. Those with a greater problem may find it best to seek care from a dedicated allergy specialist. Fortunately for those in Columbia, there are multiple physicians who specialize in allergy care.
Greg Renner received his M.D. from Southern Illinois University in 1976. He did his residency in Otolaryngology Head and Neck Surgery (Ear, Nose and Throat) at the University of Missouri from 1976-1981. Since then he has practiced full time at the University of Missouri, where he is currently a professor of Otolaryngology Head and Neck Surgery. Dr. Renner is certified both by the American Board of Otolaryngology and the American Board of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. His practice is directed primarily to head and neck surgical oncology but also includes some general otolaryngology.
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diy | Making your own art
Make Your Own Art
With simple supplies and a little creativity, your next original masterpiece is only a few steps away. P h o t o s a n d t e x t b y K a t r i n a Ta u c h e n
When it comes to livening up a room, original artwork makes
Start by choosing a background color for your painting. Using one of your larger brushes (1/2-inch works
the perfect statement. Luckily for us, Columbia has plenty of
well), cover the entire surface of the
places to find the next great one-of-a-kind piece. But artistic
back and forth in a cross-hatched
canvas with paint. Quick strokes
expression isn’t confined to the pros; with a little creativity and
pattern will leave a nice texture
simple supplies, you and your kids can turn a blank canvas into
completely, at least two hours.
to the canvas. Allow paint to dry
something wall-worthy. So while you’re saving up for the next great find from PS: Gallery or Orr Street Studios, try your hand at your own interim artistry.
Here’ s wh at yo u ’ l l n e e d to g e t s ta rte d: • blank canvas (any size will work; this example uses an 8-by-8-inch white canvas) • a c r y l i c p a i n t s, i n a s sorted colors • p a i n t b r u s h e s, i n a s sorted sizes • p a i n t e r ’s t ap e
Using the painter’s tape, apply strips of tape in the pattern of your choosing. This example created a basic geometric pattern by placing the tape from one end of the canvas to the other in varying angles. Just think of the tape as your stencil; you’re going to end up painting all surface area not covered by the tape, so once it’s removed, you’ll be left with lines in your original paint color.
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Using a second paint color, paint all surface area of the canvas not covered by the t ape. You could also choose t o add two or more colors to t his layer; just make sure all untaped canvas is covered.
Once your second layer of paint is complete, carefully remove the tape (this step is easiest if you remove the pieces of tape in the opposite order that you applied them). Allow paint to dry completely.
. Once the second layer of paint is dry, use your remaining colors to add your own personal touches to the stenciled design. This could be extra lines, dots or splatters of paint: whatever extra details you think make your painting complete. Remember that acrylic paint builds up nicely and dries in place, so large globs of paint can add fun t exture to the overall piece. Allow paint to dry completely. Then step back and marvel at your masterpiece!
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Dr. Willett and his staff will make your smile beautiful. Dr. Kent Willett, D.D.S. Dr. Kent Willett, D.D.S., is a General Dentist practicing in Columbia, since 1981. He is well known for his talents in both sedation dentistry and cosmetic dentistry, while being a long-time member of the prestigious Pankey Institute in Key Biscayne, Florida, where he has completed studies in restoring difficult dental cases. He sees referrals from all over the United States seeking high quality dental care. • American Dental Association • Academy of General Dentistry • Dental Organization for Conscious Sedation • Missouri Dental Association Dr Willett is not a specialist, he practices general dentistry. Dr. Willett has completed an American Dental Association approved one year residency program in which Conscious Sedation is taught. Cosmetic dentistry is a non-specialty interest area that requires no specific educational training to advertise this service.
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Today’s dentistry lets us have the smile we choose, not just the smile we were born with. Learn how Cosmetic Dentistry can help dramatically improve your smile, without a care in the world. Oral sedation gives you the peace of mind you’ve always wanted and makes for a totally comfortable dental experience.
1601 Chapel Hill Road • Columbia, MO Office: 573.445.5300
book club | juno's daughters
Rich Characters, Authorial Honesty Review of Lise Saffran’s Juno’s Daughters
Photo courtesy of amazon
R e v i e w e d b y K e i ja P a r s s i n e n | B o o k c l u b p h o t o b y Ta y l o r A l l e n
Longtime Columbia resident Lise Saffran’s debut novel, Juno’s Daughters, made me want to buy some Birkenstocks, let my hair mat into dreadlocks and pack my suitcase for the islands of the Pacific Northwest. The narrative, which is a delight from start to finish, follows the story of Jenny Alexander and her two teenaged daughters: beautiful, bold Lilly and shy, reflective Frankie. After leaving behind a tumultuous life on the mainland, Jenny settles on remote San Juan Island, where she incorporates herself with the small motley commu-
nity of neo-hippies who inhabit the island year-round. There, she raises her girls in relative peace until a beautiful stranger comes on the scene and disrupts her equilibrium. He’s set to play Trinculo in the island’s summer production of The Tempest, but it’s his role as the object of both Lilly's and Jenny’s affections that moves the story forward. Saffran’s prose is precise and lovely, and she renders the physical setting of the island deftly and vividly; if you read to be transported, Juno’s Daughters will take you away. Impressive, too, is Saffran’s ability to create complex, emotionally rich characters whose struggles are constructed compassionately yet critically. We identify and sympathize with the characters, but we also see their flaws. That kind of authorial honesty is what makes reading novels such a gratifying enterprise; we get to experience the characters’ mistakes, to dip our toe in the fast-moving river that carries them along down their ill- and well-chosen routes. We are not asked to judge or to pity. We are merely asked to care, and with Saffran’s engrossing story, care we certainly do.
Q&A with Lise Saffran In Juno’s Daughters, you create such a detailed portrait of the San Juan Islanders’ tight-knit community. Describe the role community plays in your work. Saffran: I write a lot about the tension between having close family ties and the desire for independence and self-definition, and I find a lot of those themes are present when I write about a small community. Just like your family, your community can save your life, and it can drive you crazy. It’s a joy to be around people who know you well and know your children well, and yet that means you run into your family doctor in the restroom at the movies. Everything you do circles back around to you in a small town: Your child’s teacher is your boss’ husband is your new next-door neighbor. Because it doesn’t make any practical sense to try to avoid people, small-town living can lead to a certain acceptance and tolerance of one other’s eccentricities. And yet, sometimes one craves a long weekend in a big city. One of the major themes of the book is Jenny’s difficult realization that, no matter how hard she tries, she cannot always protect her daughters from life, especially as they grow older. Can you talk a little bit about how your own experience as a mother of two boys influenced the book?
Saffran: A piece of tried and true advice for writing fiction is that you should discover what your characters desire and what they fear and let that drive your story forward. Having children makes you vulnerable in extraordinary ways, and it taps fears and desires you never knew you had. When my kids were little, my desire to keep them safe centered around them not getting sick or lost at the mall. At some point, when they started interacting with others in emotionally complex ways, the threat of heartbreak began to loom large. I’m constantly amazed by how resourceful my children are and how capable of experiencing love and joy as well as disappointment, and so I’m also conscious of not wanting to limit their experience of the world. It’s a very real conflict that I expect all parents experience. And out of conflict, stories are born.
Keija Parssinen received an M.F.A. in fiction from the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was a Truman Capote fellow. Her debut novel, Against the Kings of Salt, will be published by Harper Perennial in January 2012. Keija directs the Quarry Heights Writers' Workshop, a community for Columbia's creative writers. To find out more about the workshop, please visit the QHWW website, quarryheightsworkshop.blogspot.com.
Feature d c l u b Sitting around a table at Ragtag Cinema, Karen Renner, Nancy Rahner and Yvonne Kutz struggle to remember when, exactly, they started the “On the Same Page” book club before concluding that it was some time in fall 2007. Whenever the club started, its members — a mix of educators, school workers and publishing professionals — consider themselves lucky to have found a group of like-minded literary souls. “We love our group,” Renner says. “We have a lot of fun.” They meet once a month at a designated restaurant. Some of their favorite books include the historical novel Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford, young adult novel Esperanza Rising by Pam Munoz Ryan and Half-Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls. To gauge opinions of the books, the members rate them on a one- to five-star scale. Each member is assigned a month, and prior to that month, she brings titles for the group to consider. Whatever they’re reading, everyone has a good time. “We always have some good food and wine,” Rahner says. “But sometimes I have to use my teacher voice to get them back on track.” Do you belong to a book club you’d like to see featured in Columbia Home? Tell us about it on our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ColumbiaHome
Members From Left: Kay Williams, learning specialist at Rock Bridge High School; Dana Ferguson, CPS district math coordinator; Leslie Willey, Education Department chair at Stephens College; Nancy Rahner, retired special education teacher; Ann Sullivan, special education paraprofessional; Yvonne Kutz, secretary at Rock Bridge High School; Linda Frech, retired CFO of the University of Missouri Press; Karen Renner, retired marketing/sales manager at University of Missouri Press
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on the web | staff picks
Ode to the Mom Blog
Now one of the fastest-growing niches on the Web, the mommy blog is gaining momentum in mid-Missouri and showing aspiring bloggers that if you write it, they will come. B y K a t r i n a Ta u c h e n
Multitrasking |multitrasking.wordpress.com In the About page of her blog, Columbia mom Rhiannon Trask refers to herself as “a helicopter mom, wannabe photographer and frustrated scrapbooker who claims to know a little bit about marketing in my day job.” Her day job as vice president, director of Internet marketing at Landmark Bank certainly keeps her busy, but not too busy to share her fun, often funny take on family life and parenting of her 3-year-old son, Andrew. Trask’s blog features the occasional project and decorating tip, but more than anything, Multitrasking is a guaranteed fun read. Filled with kids-say-the-darndest-things type moments and candid stories of daily encounters (a Feb. 18 post about getting carded at the grocery store is particularly humorous), Trask’s writing is easy to read and easy to enjoy. And perhaps even easier to relate to.
Brady Lou Project Guru | bradylou.com Brady Lou Project Guru is like the adorable site that might result from a Parenting magazine and Slick Deals union. Armed with gobs of know-how when it comes to simple craft ideas, baby-friendly projects and couponing savvy, the blog’s creator Brady Bilbro shares her best tips covering a vast area of momrelated interests. Whether it’s a step-by-step tutorial for making homemade baby food, easy tips for cleaning the medicine cabinet or a slew of online coupon codes for a steal on diapers and wipes, Bilbro hunts down the best deals and quickest solutions and shares them with today’s busy moms. As the stayat-home mom of two young boys (Ryland, born in 2007, and Owen, born in 2010), Bilbro is all about saving time and money and getting organized to allow more time for doing the things you enjoy, which is exactly what her blog aims to deliver. Consider it helpful nuggets of wisdom in a thrifty, easy-to-follow package.
P eople You Shoul d Follow Connect to Columbia at twitter.com.
@CoMissourian The Twitter voice of the Columbia Missourian shares local news updates, reader submissions and the overall buzz. @dbrl For Daniel Boone Regional Library news and special events
Without a Map | ontheroadlesstaken.blogspot.com Adrienne May, the pen behind Without a Map, is mom to 3-yearold Noah and future step-mom to two young girls, ages 8 and 12. In her honest account of their day-to-day lives, May addresses the fun and struggles of life as a blended family. Her posts are candid and upfront, often shedding light on what it takes to raise a family when previous relationships (and another set of parenting rules) are involved. Without a Map is a refreshing take on today’s family, at a time when the ’50s-era, picture-perfect household is more of a relic than reality, and it’s inspiring to see how one mom, despite the occasional hiccups, loves her kids and makes it work.
@new2mu Geared toward Columbia’s newest residents, @new2mu will remind you of all the reasons to love this city. @JeffCityMag Our sister publication for the capital city regularly tweets about the goings on a quick drive away. More mid-Missouri mom blogs to watch: bornjustright.com theguavaliciouslife.com gigglesbits.blogspot.com
Katrina Tauchen is an avid blogger and Google Reader devotee. You can read about her latest home and kitchen adventures at www.splashofsomething.com.
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city scene | Missouri contemporary ballet
MCB pre-performance party The Missouri Contemporary Ballet held a pre-performance party at Top Ten Wines on March 20, followed by their appearance at Jesse Auditorium. More than 500 watched the collaboration of original music of Tom Andes and Travis McFarlane and the choreography and ballet of the immensely talented MCB dance company.
4. 1. Joe Moseley, Connie Kingsley, Carol Moseley, Billy Giordano, Gina Rende 2. Sanjeev and Shelley Ravipudi, Sudhir and Priya Batchu 3. Jerry Olson, Vicki Russell, Jerry Price, Jill Powell 4. Darlene Johnson, Connie Pugh, Gary Tatlow, Becky McHugh 5. David Orr, Amanda Buchana, Jennifer and Brant Bukowsky, Becky McHugh
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PhotoS courtesy of Becky McHugh
city scene | VAC Trivia Night
VAC Trivia Night Voluntary Action Center hosted its 2011 Trivia Night on March 3 at the Knights of Columbus Hall. A crowd of 175 people attended and showed how knowledgeable they were about a variety of categories. The event raised $5,000 to help VAC continue providing family assistance and emergency services to Boone County's low-income residents.
PhotoS courtesy of VAC
1. Les Borgmeyer (emcee), Gwen Jones 2. The winning team, the Hot Trivia Tamales, was made up of employees and friends of Landmark Bank. Winning team members were Marty Wohlgemuth, Dan Gieseke, Marianne Tegerdine, Leigh Head, Jordan Walters, Patrick Tray, Holly Gieseke and VAC board member Susan Gowin. 3. Jason Becking, Lin Teasley 4. Stuart Scroggs, Rick Ravenhill 5. Lea Evans, Andrea Benna
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city scene | heart ball
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PhotoS courtesy of Shelley Ravipudi
The Dr. Hugh E. Stephenson Heart Ball, held on Jan. 29 at the Reynolds Alumni Center, was a huge success. This year’s gala, “A Night at the Fight, Knocking Out Heart Disease and Stroke,” brought members of the business and medical communities together to celebrate the lifesaving work of the American Heart and Stroke Association. More than $170,000 was raised to help fight cardiovascular disease and stroke. Annually, the American Heart and Stroke Association directs millions of dollars to mid-Missouri to support research and health care advocacy.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Dr. Sanjeev and Shelley Ravipudi Kathy and Don Onweezen Leonard and Mary Lou Politte Thor and Julia Norregaard Jeff and Barb Glenn Doug and Amy Pugh
7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
Don and Chris Kellar Ted and Leila Willmore Mary Dohrman and Tom Dresser Steve and Christina Head Lisa and Steve Dresner Joe and Leslie Meyer
13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.
Dan and Karen Hoernschemeyer Jumping dancers Open Your Hearth Donors Kevin Lancaster and Dr. Sanjeev Ravipudi Emcee Doug Pugh Live auctioneer Stuart Head and MCB dancer
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Welcome to the World
Would you like to see your baby featured? E-mail your cutie to firstname.lastname@example.org
Levi John Bettis Pa r e n t s : Daniel and Amber B i rt h w e i g h t: 6 pounds 1 ounce H e i g h t: 20 inches
How has being a parent changed you? I look at the world so much differently. All of my time is spent with Levi now. Taking care of his needs comes first. The other day I went to the grocery store and gym without him, one of my first times to spend time alone since he was born. I thought about him the whole time! It felt so strange to be alone, when just a few weeks ago, that was my norm.
Jayse Riek Pa r e n t s : Jason and Sara B i rt h w e i g h t: 7 pounds 8 ounces H e i g h t:
Best moment: To see him learn new things, how he tries to figure things out and how he is learning. It's so simple to us, but it's amazing to see his expressions as he realizes how things work. Having someone who depends on you for everything makes you think how much responsibility you have for not only your family, but also for the world. You learn how to care for someone else more than you care for yourself — and that is a great thing.
Owen Scott Bilbro Pa r e n t s :
B i rt h w e i g h t:
H e i g h t:
Jeff and Brady
8 pounds 8 ounces
Best lesson you’ve learned from parenting: There will always be laundry to do, a house to clean and meals to make, but there won't always be little ones running around the house, so stop and take time to play, read and talk with your kids. They won't remember how nicely you folded their pants, but they will remember the times you cranked the music up and danced around the living room together. 92 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
June Kelly Wicks Pa r e n t s : Tyler and Noelle B i rt h w e i g h t: 8 pounds 1 ounce H e i g h t: 20 inches
Favorite moment: Her smile
Brock Bell Pa r e n t s : Amy and Clifton B i rt h w e i g h t: 6 pounds 5 ounces H e i g h t: 19 Â˝ inches
Best lesson? Never say never because your kid will end up doing what you thought they never would. I also think parents should take advantage of each day because it goes by so fast. How has being a parent made you less selfish? Now I am constantly putting someone else's needs first. Favorite moment: Brock's first smile. I was holding him, and he could see his older brother, and he just lit up. columbia home | 93
At the Central Missouri Humane Society, these friendly faces are waiting for just the right homes.
M a ry Ja n e
Unnamed P upp ies
Ag e : 2 years B r e e d : Lab Beagle Mix T e m p e r a m e n t : This little “blondie” is calm and reserved and loves to be showered with affection. She is full-grown and ready to be part of a loving family.
Ag e : 1 ½ years B r e e d : Border Collie/Brittany Spaniel T e m p e r a m e n t : Jesse demonstrates an inquisitive demeanor and loves being close to people. She is well behaved and down-to-earth.
Ag e : 2 – 3 months B r e e d : Shikoku Inu T e m p e r a m e n t : There are two puppies remaining from this playful litter. The puppies are both very relaxed.
Ag e : 5 years B r e e d : Husky Mix T e m p e r a m e n t : Although Zenith would work better without children, she is extremely gentle and well behaved. She walks well on a leash.
Ag e : 3 years B r e e d: Collie Aussie Mix T e m p e r a m e n t : This friendly herd dog loves socializing and will come up and give you a big hug. She is sweet and tolerant of other people and animals.
Ag e : 2 – 3 years B r e e d: Pointer T e m p e r a m e n t : This easy-to-please dog loves to smell and explore. He is also house-trained and knows how to sit and stay.
P h a n tom
Ag e : 4 years B r e e d : Domestic Short Hair T e m p e r a m e n t : Although Phantom is an adult, he still loves to play. He is shy at first but eventually warms up to reveal and sweet, cuddly personality.
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Ag e : 2 – 3 years B r e e d : Domestic Short Hair T e m p e r a m e n t : Armani loves attention and loves being cuddled and pet, especially on his stomach. He expresses a sweet, outgoing personality.
1. Before you adopt a pet, talk to family members about what they want. 2. If you’re getting a pet for your children, don’t expect the kids to do all the work. 3. Make sure your family is ready for the changes a new pet will bring (i.e. new chores, attention, training, feeding and play). 4. Do a little research to learn which breed matches your family’s lifestyle. 5. Confirm whether anyone in your family suffers from allergies. 6. Teach your family and kids about pet parenting before you adopt. 7. Know that some animals and young children might not play well together. Source: www.aspca.org/adoption/adoption-tips/ adopting-the-perfect-family-pet.aspx
By Joanna Demkiewicz • Photos by Taylor Allen
Ti p s f o r F i n d i n g t h e P e r f e c t Fam i ly P e t
ELEGANCE PRATIQUE Summer 2011
IS THE AIR YOU BREATHE IN YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
ETCETERA TRUNK SHOW April 20-27th Revelation Spa and Salon 1609 Chapel Hill Columbia, MO 65203 Shelley Ravipudi has moved her Summer show to Revelation Spa and Salon. Free Color Consultations, Face and body shape Analysis available. Appointments preferred. Shelley Ravipudi 626.394.6298 email@example.com
1. 2. 3.
1. MOLD 2. POLLEN 3. DUST
DIRTY DUCT SYSTEMS ARE A MAJOR SOURCE OF INDOOR AIR POLLUTION. ✓ Many illnesses are either caused by, or aggravated by, polluted indoor air. ✓ One out of six people who suffer from allergies do so because of the direct relationships to fungi and bacteria in air duct systems. ✓ Respiratory irritants can circulate within the ducts and enter the room through the registers. ✓ Children and elderly are especially affected by polluted indoor air.
Duct cleaning could be the healthiest home improvement Investment you will ever make.
EXPERTS AIR DUCT AND DRYER VENT CLEANING
573.698.DUCT (3828) columbia home | 95
the last word | kate stull
Keeping It Real Blurring the line between business and personal B y K a t e S t u l l | P h o t o b y Ta y l o r A l l e n
ometimes it takes at least two cooperative personalities to survive the working world: one that presents itself at work and another that works at home. Both need to be sophisticated, strong and interchangeable between work and home life. Makes sense, right? But what if the only personality you needed to make clear to others was your own? Would you be happier personally or more successful professionally? As a growing professional, I’ve found it pays at home to keep things real at work by trying to ensure the line between the two is just a little blurry. “It’s business; it’s n ot p e r s o na l .” Having a marketing/design background, I’ve developed a fairly thick skin, but I’ve never understood why it’s acceptable to use this phrase so often in business. Sure, jobs are won and lost every day in the real world, but the fascinating question is, “Why?” “It’s business” is a phrase of convenience sometimes used to excuse the “business” party from doing something that was probably decided based on a personal relationship with someone else. Allowing myself to bring a little bit of my own sentiments, stories and sensitivities into the workplace has made it easier for me to understand and work with others in a positive and ultimately more rewarding way. Even admitting a weakness or two lets people see a little slice of my brain, which allows them to know why I did this or how to approach me about that. I’m happy at work because I’m myself at work, so it’s easy to come home after a long day both happy and attentive because I don’t have to turn off the “professional” and turn on “mom extraordinaire.” The best part about getting a little personal at work is that I can develop my professional network around town at the same time. These relationships are built on something more real than a handshake or a list of obligations, and people usually return the favor and let me into their lives as well. “ Is it right?” Blurring the line between business and personal is not easy, and sometimes it’s downright frustrating. But I think it’s also worth it. There is one phrase I’ve been looking to more often as I grow as a career woman and a mom, and that’s: “Is it right?” It applies to every situation and helps me overcome the temptation of laziness, tendency to override my gut feeling and fear of being fake or wrong. If I can answer “yes” to this question, I’ve had a good day. I’ll know I’m doing my job as an employee and/or a mom correctly. I’ll know the outcome will also reflect positively on those around me. “Do u nto others a s yo u wo u ld h av e t h e m d o u n to yo u.” The every-person-for-themselves attitude doesn’t work for me. If you do something good for others, I believe good things will happen to you in turn. It’s an idealistic point of view, perhaps even naive, but it makes me feel good to believe that’s a truth in this world even if not everyone heeds it. Being a “professional” can mean many things to many people, but I don’t think it means one should develop a completely separate personality within the workplace. I’ve deliberately made it a point to behave largely the same way at work as I do at home for several reasons: 1. Having another personality from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. is entirely too dramatic. 2. If people get to know me on a personal level, I’ve found that I get to know more about them, which often leads to great working relationships and friendships. 3. When you know someone on a personal level, it’s easy to spot the special opportunities that sometimes roll across my desk and match them up with the right person. Win-win. By keeping things real at work, I’ve found things at home are groovy as well. I deal with less drama, less stress and more quality time with my family. Besides, it’s more fun to work with people you consider your friends, and it’s easier to stay close with your family when your friends understand your personal priorities. Kate Stull is director of The Women’s Network at the Columbia Chamber of Commerce. She’s married to Kevin Stull, first assistant golf professional at The Club at Old Hawthone, and mother to a 1-year-old son, Rob. 96 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
columbia home | 97
ADVERTISER INDEX Academy of Early Childhood Learning...........................81 Academy of Fine Arts................................................... 97 Air Quality Experts....................................................... 95 Albright Heating and Air Conditioning.......................... 84 All Vacuum Care............................................................21 Ashley Furniture......................................................76, 77 Beks Restaurant........................................................... 95 Bleu.............................................................................. 70 Boone County National Bank......................................... 3 Boone Hospital Center................................................... 8 Buchroeder’s.........................................................74, 100 Busenbark Carpet.........................................................19 Calena’s Fashions........................................................ 34 Carlisle......................................................................... 80 Carole Patterson Fine Art Portraits.............................. 97 Carpet One Floor and Home........................................ 70 Clean Air Solutions...................................................... 58 Columbia Facial Plastic Surgery................................... 39 Commerce Bank......................................... 88, 89, 91, 91 David Owens Photography........................................... 58 Designer Kitchens and Baths........................................41 DeSpain Cayce Dermatology Center and Medical Spa..... 39 Downtown Appliance Home Store.................................. 2 Ecco Lounge................................................................ 65 ETCetera...................................................................... 95 Eyedentity.................................................................... 68 Family Fun Fests.......................................................... 42 Focus on Learning........................................................ 35 The French Laundry and Alterations............................ 23 Girl Boutique................................................................ 98 Dr. Gregory H. Croll, Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery.............................. 57 Interior Design Associates........................................... 69 JC Mattress Factory..................................................... 29 Joe Machens Ford.......................................................... 5 Johnston Paint and Decorating..................................... 83 KeLani Salon and Spa.................................................. 57 Dr. Kent Willett DDS..................................................... 84 Kerry Bramon Remodeling............................................. 6 Kliethermes Homes and Remodeling Inc...................... 25 Land and Home............................................................ 44 Majestic Homes and Remodeling................................. 99 Martellaro Marble and Granite..................................... 62 McAdams’ Ltd...............................................................81 Meeks.......................................................................... 86 Mid-City Lumber.......................................................... 33 Midwest Remodeling and Restoration.......................... 30 Moon Valley Massage Therapy..................................... 93 Organize That Space.................................................... 34 Outdoor Occasions...................................................... 64 The Pasta Factory........................................................ 59 The Perfect Fit Boutique............................................... 65 Salon Envie.................................................................. 63 Shelter Insurance......................................................... 35 Songbird Station.......................................................... 93 Spillman Contracting................................................... 66 The Strand................................................................... 98 Superior Garden Center............................................... 63 Sycamore..................................................................... 64 Taylor Allen Photography...............................................51 Truescape.................................................................... 30 Tucker’s Fine Jewelry.................................................... 62 United Country............................................................. 43 University Concert Series...................................... 75, 78 University Physicians..................................................... 4 Wood Pro..................................................................... 73 Columbia Home & Lifestyle magazine is published by The Business Times Co., 2001 Corporate Place, Suite 100, Columbia, Mo., 65202. (573) 499-1830 Copyright The Business Times Co., 2008. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.
98 | APril/may 2011 • columbiahl.com
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