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My Ramadan Pray List
In regards to my EMAN, what would I ask for? In regards to my HEALTH and ENERGY, what would I ask for? In regards to my FAMILY, what would I ask for? In regards to my CHARACTER, what would I ask for? In regards to my FINANCES, what would I ask for? In regards to my EMOTIONAL HEALTH, what would I ask for? In regards to my SPOUSE, and his Success what would I ask for? In regards to my CHILDREN, what would I ask for? In regards to my CAREER OR BUSINESS, what would I ask for? In regards to my SOCIAL LIFE, what would I ask for? In regards to my EDUCATION, what would I ask for? In regards to my COUNTRY AND LEADERS, what would I ask for? In regards of my TIME, what would I ask for? In regards to the LEGACY that I’ll leave behind after I die, what would I ask for? -In regards to my JANNAH, what would I ask for?
In Arabic, du’a means ‘to call’, or ‘to invoke’, in Islamic terminology it means a humble prayer by a modest person to a superior. When used appropriately, du’a is a powerful sword for a believer. For the past few years, before the beginning of every Ramadan, I have made a special and comprehensive list of du’a. The list would consist of 10 - 12 things that I desire the most, both in dunya (the world) and in the akhirah (hereafter). I call these my pray lists. Focusing on a specific list of du’a helps me focus on my needs and ambitions. By listing and repeating these items, every single day, it not only assures that I do not forget these wishes, it reinforces the pursuit of each one. For example, if I have always wanted to improve myself, asking for help from Allah to do so everyday encourages me to put my words into practice. Reflection of du’a allows one to appreciate what Allah (swt) has granted them. I can personally attest to this. There have been items on my past pray lists that have been answered in ways that I could never imagine, it’s incredible. I look back and cannot believe I have received so many of the things I asked so desperately for. Allah (swt) truly does not leave the hands of a believer empty when raised to Him. Now that Ramadan is upon us again, I am excited to develop another pray list for the blessed month and I would love to encourage you all to do the same. First, I ask few following questions from myself and then structure my pray list accordingly. I believe that the power of prayer depends on the
trust and confidence of approaching God. When we pray passionately and purposefully, according to God’s will, God responds powerfully. My pray list starts with praise, thanking the Creator of the universe, my Lord God Almighty, for delivering me, for rescuing me, for giving me the precious gift of life and my soulmate. I am so grateful for the grace and mercy of God, who gives me strength, who helps me up when I fall, who heals my broken heart, who gives me joy in a world of pain, who keeps me safe and sane, who never gave up on me, and who is always there for me. I pray for the asset of character and faith, patience and guidance. I pray for protection and deliverance from evil. I pray to grow in grace and richness of knowledge and wisdom, for the understanding and discernment needed in proportion to the call on my life. I pray for my husband’s wellbeing and to cherish our love and keep us united now and ever after. I pray to have the competence to see the truth, to have mindfulness, balance, peace and ultimately happiness for me and my loves ones. I pray for my nation and leaders to have the vision and inspiration needed to bring about change for our people. I pray for living a life worthy of legacy, a true awakening for me and others cross my path. Prayer has transformed my life, as Mother Teresa said once: ‘God shapes the world by prayer. The more praying there is in the world the better the world will be, the mightier the forces against evil.’
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CONTENTS 1 WORK
2 SELF
3 HEALTH
4 INSPIRE
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Ramadan at work How employers and employees can help and support each other during this holy time
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A productive Muslim’s approach to life The more you focus on what you have in life, the more you will attract it, says Bela Khan.
Think fast How to fast in a way that helps your body, mind and spirit.
12 tips for teaching children gratitude Train your little ones for a happy life
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Truly thankful From your head to your heart, your entire wellbeing can be enhanced and improved by practising gratitude‌
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Steps to Gratitude Being grateful to Allah for what He has already blessed us with is sometimes very challenging but it is always worthwhile.
The holy month How 1.5 billion Muslims observe
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The Origins of Ramadan
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Islamic calligraphy
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Asma-ul-Husna
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Dr. Asma Naheed on the month of hope and reflection
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Work
‘‘Ramadan is the month whose beginning is mercy, whose middle is forgiveness and whose end is freedom from fire’’ ~ Prophet Mohammad (PBUH)
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WORK
Ramadan at Work
During Ramadan - when no food is consumed during daylight hours - the workplace can be a challenge. Here’s how employers and employees can help and support each other during this holy time‌
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As an employer there are many ways to you can he ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar is a strict period of religious observance, make the month of Ramadan a positive time for which includes fasting, prayer and self- your team, and in fact, implementing policies that reflection. Known as Ramadan, and lasting 30 days, accommodate the change in pace can reap its rewards during this time the Muslim faithful are committed to too – leading to better morale, more productivity and extra prayers, late nights and a heightened emphasis even higher staff retention. on patience and virtue. Culminating in Eid al-Fitr – a period of celebration and family events akin Postponing and rescheduling to Christmas in the Christian calendar – it is the meetings and events most important part of the Muslim year and the Meetings can present a real challenge for someone cornerstone of the Muslim faith. observing Ramadan – their productivity decreases as In the workplace, Ramadan has always presented the day goes on, and their early starts (to ensure a light somewhat of a challenge. “The productivity of meal before daybreak), means the day can be long workers declines in the holy and arduous. Ask yourself, are month by 35-50 per cent, as a “Culminating in Eid al- these meetings essential? Could result of shorter working hours be delayed? Do they require Fitr, it is the most impor- they and the change in behaviour considerable travel or time away during this month,” economist tant part of the Muslim from the office? Try to schedule Samer Sunnuqrot told bbc.co.uk meetings in the mornings if you recently. From other colleagues year and the cornerstone can, and be really wary of lunch not observing the holy fast and meetings or client entertaining, of the Muslim faith” a need to continue to deliver on which present a real problem for objectives, to corporate hospitality events, socialising someone observing Ramadan. Also be aware that and even simple hunger and fatigue, it is important your staff will not be able to attend evening functions that you and your team can still work while you fast, (this is when family and friends gather to eat and without compromising your health or your faith. celebrate the holy month).
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WORK
Shorter hours and flexible working During Ramadan, consider offering a temporary flexible working environment, with early starts and finishes, and shorter days, or even remote working. Make sure that you also factor in regular breaks for prayer and for staff to get outside for some fresh air. Many of your team will ask for annual leave during some or all of Ramadan, especially towards the end of it when the Eid celebrations begin. You will need to be prepared to operate with a skeleton staff on occasion and must be prepared to meet these requests for holy time as much as you can. Discuss
with those staff who will not be taking time off how you will manage with a reduction in workforce and be sensitive to those who may have to pick up some slack during this time. For those working during Ramadan it might help to have a conversation about expectations, deadlines and objectives. Be clear about what you expect from your team and listen to what they feel will be manageable. Consider delaying projects or big events if you can, it makes sense to work on these when your team can commit their full selves to the work, rather than during a time of holy fasting.
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Be understanding Ramadan is a holy time, but also one that presents challenges for those of faith. Be aware that tiredness and irritability, especially in the first ten days or so, will be more common. It’s important to make an effort to communicate with other colleagues about their expectations during this time and what they can do to help - keeping eating and drinking in the office, and during meetings, to a minimum, being respectful of a need for quietness and prayer, be sensitive that clients coming to the office may also be observing Ramadan – don’t continually offer tea and coffee if it has been refused once. Incorporate Ramadan in your business practices While the daylight hours are a time of quietness, fasting and reflection, the evening and night hours are a time for fellowship and joy. The Muslim social calendar is a busy one during Ramadan and Iftars - breaking of fast ceremonies – happen almost every evening. If you have a big Muslim base in your team, these can be a wonderful opportunity for team building, and even networking, in an atmosphere infused with joy and generosity. If you find that your team will be radically reduced during the Ramadan month, consider incorporating this shift in output into your business calendar. Use the time to be reflective too, relook at the business plan or mission statement, undertake training, look at your marketing strategy, consider an annual review of the business, dedicate those annual tasks that need to be done to this month, and, if you can, put more regular aspects of the business on hold. Ramadan is also a time of generosity and charity, so now is the time for charitable giving, raising money, events and fundraising – all things that help with your corporate social responsibility and can really dovetail well into the holy month.
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Self
‘‘Like the sun that sets at the end of the day, so too will Ramadan come and go, leaving only it’s mark on our heart’s sky’’ ~ Yasmine Mogahed
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SELF
The attitude of gratitude – a productive Muslim’s approach to Life by Bela Khan
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he opens her wardrobe. Two dozen dresses Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? of red, yellow, orange, pink and you-name-it colours are hanging in there. After a cursory The Effect of Gratitude on Productivity glance, she bangs the door shut. “Mom, I have nothing to As we grow up, we get tuned to be ungrateful and not wear for the party. I’ve been begging you to take me shopping to see the blessings in our life. We focus all our energy and attention towards finding out what we lack. This is since ages. You never listen to me. What do I do now?” He is rummaging the fridge for the fourth time. really ironic because the more we focus on scarcity, the more we tend to attract it. Pizza, chocolate, ice-cream, fruits and juices are stuffed inside. He “The more you focus on You tend to get what you focus on. Being ungrateful to Allah adversely leaves the kitchen despondently. what you have in life, the affects our productivity as the mind “There’s really nothing much to eat in here. Let’s go to the café and more you will attract it.” – which is in a negative state – can have some decent food today.” hardly contemplate the productivity She wakes up with the same feelings of depression in life. It goes without saying that a mind that is and dread. Thoughts of suicide are again floating in always looking for shortcomings is not the best tool her mind. She is married to a handsome man, with for a productive lifestyle – be it spiritually, physically, two lovely kids, a home, and a car, everything most socially, or emotionally. women would ask for. Apparently, life is perfect but there is “something” missing. It is just because she is Western Research vs. 1,400-Year-Old Message Research has shown that through our thoughts not married to the man of her dreams. He thinks his life sucks. He is 17. He has an and emotions, we emit powerful signals; these iPhone, Core i7 Dell, $1,000 monthly pocket signals have the ability to attract signals of the same money but according to him, his life sucks. Unable frequency. In other words, our positive signals will to focus on his textbook, he slams it shut and attract all other positive signals and same goes true starts pacing in the room as he thinks out aloud. for negative signals. Whenever we are being ungrateful, we are in the “If my friend can own a Jaguar, why can’t I? negative state of mind and allowing the self-defeating Everything sucks.” thoughts to emit all sorts of negative energy from us. These can include thoughts such as “I never seem to have enough of money”, “I can never be healthy”, or “I can never find a practicing husband”. This will lead us to attract more negative energy.
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SELF Ultimately, we will end up becoming a black hole of despair and getting what we do not want. All the worries, arguments and frustration lead to more of the same. Considering all this, if we want to attract more signals of what we desire to experience, for example, peace, joy, harmony, ease, prosperity, etc., then why not choose our thoughts consciously and carefully? The more you focus on what you have in life, the more you will attract it. In other words, the more grateful you become, the more Allah will bless you. Today, non-Muslim researchers have discovered these secrets in the name of “natural laws”, while these “open secrets” were given to us in the Qur’an 1,400 years ago. Psychologists and philosophers have painstakingly conducted researches and have come up with new theories and ideas. This so-called newly discovered information was presented to us in the Qur’an in no uncertain terms. Allah promises that the grateful will be given more: “And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.” [Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7] Robert A. Emmons from the University of California Davis and Micheal E McCullogh from the University of Miami conducted a long-term research project designed to study the effects of gratitude. Here are some of their findings: -
Those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis, exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared with those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress towards important personal goals over a two-month period compared with subjects in the other experimental conditions. Grateful people reported higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress.
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SELF
THIS IS A READY-MADE FORMULA FOR ATTRACTING MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE. Why is gratitude such a key ingredient in a successful life? Gratitude helps us make the shift. Consequently, we are able to attract more good, more love, more joy, more money, as well as better health and blissful relationships in your life. Gratitude is one of the easiest and most frequently used methods to alter the signals one is emitting. What we need to master is the attitude of gratitude – the attitude of appreciating everything in life.
Surah al-Fatihah: A Pillar’s Pillar It is well known that prayer, one of the pillars of Islam, is incomplete without Surah al-Fatihah. It begins with expressing our gratitude to our Lord for the countless blessings He has showered upon us. Have you ever noticed that many duas taught by the Prophet also start with the same expression of gratitude, “Alhamdulillah”? The day starts with the morning supplication, “Alhamdulillahilladhi ahyana…” (All praise and thanks be to the One who gave us life…). What is the significance of this? Allah wants you to start your day in His remembrance. This can put us in a super charged state, attracting ample happiness and abundance in life. The Practice of the Companions Ibn Mas’ud said: The Messenger of Allah said: “He who (on befalling a calamity) slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and follows the ways and traditions of the Days of Ignorance is none of us.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. It is reported that some of the Companions of the Holy Prophet were grateful for the calamities that they faced and presented their gratitude to Allah for not letting something worse befall them. Now that is the attitude of gratitude!
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BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE Gratitude and Focus Gratitude is one of the quickest ways to regain our focus. When we are stuck, it means we are giving too much attention to something that does not really deserve our attention. Most so-called problems are usually mundane preoccupations and mental obsessions. We focus so much on one area to the exclusion of everything else that we create and then magnify our problems. Guess what? When we focus so much on what is not working, we cannot even access the part of our brain that provides us solutions. Surprised? Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘Aalameen When something is not working, focus on what is working and say, “Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘Aalameen” (All praise to the Lord of the Universe) aloud. What do you think you are doing by saying this? It reminds us of the power of the Creator and reminds us to be thankful for all the good things that is happening without our knowledge. You are freeing your mind from those thoughts that bog you down and you are reinforcing strong positive beliefs that even if some areas are not working in life, others definitely are. In this way, you are able to think in a quicker and better way to resolve what is not working in life. Try it out yourself.
A Miraculous Phenomenon Being grateful to Allah does wonders. When you acknowledge His Hand in your life, miracles happen. You may be in the middle of a problem and not have the least bit of knowledge about what would happen next, then suddenly the solution will dawn upon you. It is like when someone would return you an old loan that you completely forgot about, when you are in dire need of money; or when you are thinking about your loved ones and they give you a call right then. And when something you are longing to happen, finally happens. Appreciate the Small to get Big We usually ignore many things that are readily available to us; they are incredible reasons to be grateful. Our family, friends, body, health, job, leisure time, education, food, wisdom, smiles, children and even the painful lessons that life teaches us (and the list goes on) are tremendous blessings to be grateful for. If you do not have the same feeling, just close your eyes and imagine one of these blessings vanishing from your life. Take a break from reading this and do it, seriously. How does that feel? This is exactly why you need to be thankful every moment, each day. “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” [Qu’ran: Chapter 14, Verse 34]
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Steps to Gratitude It is a pity that since childhood we are tuned to have lust for more and never to be satisfied with what we already have. This is why being grateful to Allah for what He has already blessed us with is sometimes very challenging for us. All of us need a bit of fine tuning, so below are some tools I am sharing with you so you can show your gratitude to Him and let the blessings unfold.
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Make a list of 20 things that you appreciate: Write “Alhamdulillah” in front of every blessing. Make a list of the things you feel good about and why you are grateful for that thing, situation or person in your life. How did you feel doing this? Here is the good news: You have just increased your positivity and now you are able to attract more happiness, abundance and prosperity in your life.
Appreciate the little things too: Start looking for everything you can be grateful for in life and start talking about it all the time, no matter how insignificant it is. If you find a Dollar from your old shirt’s pocket, celebrate. Go around and tell everyone how grateful you are for that. That is how you are tuning your mind to show gratitude for tiniest blessing in your life.
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Share the gratitude: At least once a day, share a gratitude status on Facebook or whatever social media you use and ask others what they are grateful for. In sha Allah, you will get blessings for your shukr and theirs too.
Sense the gratitude: Standing in front of the mirror, focus on your eyes that can see, ears that can hear, a nose that can smell, rather than just measuring the size and diameter of that small pimple.
5 Learn positivity: Try to seek the positive out of every negative. List at least three good lessons from every painful experience and be grateful that life threw that situation at you so that you could learn. And then, move on.
In a nutshell, developing the attitude of gratitude to Allah will do wonders to your life. Identify those wonders and be grateful for them so you can have more. Do share with us a list of some blessings in your life that you are grateful for. We would like to hear from you in the comments section below.
Bela is the founder and Chief Inspirational officer at Muslim Women Empowerment. She is a life coach, speaker and a student of Qur’an. She helps women to overcome their obstacles and make a difference in their lives and the world. She can be reached at www.belakhan.com
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Health
‘‘The best richness is the richness of the soul’’ ~ Hadith Bukhari
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Think fast During the Holy month of Ramadan, healthy adult Muslims practice daily fasting from dawn until sunset. Traditionally, one breaks the fast at sunset with a meal called Iftar and then eats again pre-dawn at Suhoor. There is evidence to suggest that fasting can have positive effects on your health. By following simple guidelines, it may help you lose weight and decrease blood pressure and cholesterol. Alternatively, over-indulging at Iftar and Suhoor can cause weight gain. The Holy month is often seen as a time to practice self-control, self-discipline, sacrifice and empathy for those less fortunate. It is encouraged to try to maintain these practices even outside of fasting hours.
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HEALTH
Drink plenty of water and eat hydrating foods during Ramadan Drink plenty of water between Iftar and Suhoor. High temperatures can also make you sweat more, so it is important to drink fluids to replace what you lose during the day (at least 10 glasses). You can also increase water intake by eating hydrating foods. Try adding watermelon to your Suhoor meal or eat it as a sweet treat after Iftar. The traditional Arabic fattoush salad contains plenty of hydrating cucumber and tomato. Avoid caffeinated drinks such as coffee, tea and cola, because caffeine can make some people urinate more often, which may lead to dehydration. Also remember that fizzy drinks with sugar will add calories to your diet. Consume the right foods at Suhoor to last through the fasting hours Suhoor should be a wholesome meal providing you with enough energy to last until Iftar. Choose the right foods to sustain you through the fast. Eating complex carbohydrates, such as fruit and vegetables, beans, chickpeas and lentils, will provide you with a long-lasting source of energy throughout the day. Include low fat dairy products, such as low fat labneh or laban, with your meal and try to incorporate healthy unsaturated fats like avocado, unsalted nuts, salmon, olives and olive oil. Replenish your energy levels by eating a healthy, balanced Iftar Eating three dates to break your fast is a traditional and healthy way to begin Iftar. Dates are an excellent source of fiber. Incorporate plenty of vegetables to provide vital vitamins and nutrients. Choose whole grains, which provide the body with energy and fiber. Enjoy grilled or baked lean meat, skinless chicken and fish, to get a good portion of healthy protein. In general, avoid fried and processed foods high in fat or sugar. Enjoy your meal and avoid overeating by eating slowly.
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Meal suggestions
-SuhoorOatmeal with a low fat laban smoothie made with fresh fruit Lentil soup with chopped carrot, celery and onion Zucchini labneh dip with fresh chopped vegetables
-IftarChicken, baked with sautĂŠed vegetables and served with chickpeas Baked fish with roasted vegetables and brown rice Baked falafel served with fattoush salad, hummus and pita bread
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HEALTH
Truly Thankful From your head to your heart, your entire wellbeing can be enhanced and improved by practising gratitude‌
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“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.� Zig Ziglar
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ometimes it’s good to look inwards and to focus on ourselves. Being introspective might seem selfish, but it is good for us, and good for others. The more we learn about ourselves, the wiser and kinder we can be as people. Being thankful is a big part of this – it’s important to be grateful for what we have, and to recognise this in ourselves. Being thankful, showing gratitude, will enrich every part of your life – from your career to your mental health. Being thankful means making a conscious decision everyday to acknowledge the positives in life and be grateful for them. There are hundreds of ways you can do this, but here are some really easy ways to start:
Keep a gratitude journal, writing things down helps you to remember and acknowledge themas true Rule of three – recognise three things you are thankful for every single day Thanking loved ones – especially spouses or partners, for little and big, things Thanking yourself - even if it’s for one thing a day Send it out there – technology connects us with people, say thank you to those far away with emails, comments or text messages
So, how can making these changes affect your overall wellbeing?
Body
Mind
People who have made gratitude a part of their everyday lives report an incredible improvement in their physical wellbeing. Simple things like less aches and pains and more energy, but also fundamentally vital things, such as sleeping better, eating better and being profoundly motivated to take better care of themselves. If you are thankful for what you have, that includes the body you were given and this encourages you to take better care of it. A recent study even found positive correlations between gratitude and healthy eating, exercise and visiting the doctor.
Gratitude literally makes us happier. People who practise gratitude every day have more empathy, better selfesteem and are less prone to jealousy and aggression. It’s also been reported that people who are thankful are less likely to develop depression. Being grateful for things in our lives has a centering, mindfulness effect, that in time helps us to develop real mental resilience – our minds are stronger, more readily able to deal with adversity and more competent in managing the emotions of the day to day. Working on gratitude delivers throughout our lives, as it helps to develop our personalities and allow us to look back with happiness, thankful for the lessons learned and the opportunities given, and forward with relish, grateful for the chance at new experiences.
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Relationships We are all grateful for family and friends, but perhaps sometimes we take them a bit for granted. People who are thankful report more feelings of contentment and satisfaction in their relationships. As part of a couple they are happier, more supportive and more appreciative. Gratitude also helps develop and establish new relationships – with colleagues, peers, friends or lovers. Thanking someone for something can fasttrack a simple moment of meeting someone into a real friendship. Gratitude also makes us less self-centered and is a quality that is always attractive in other people, helping you appeal to new people.
Career Recent research has actually found that gratitude can boost your impulse control, effectively slowing you down and ensuring you make better, more sensible decisions. This can help in a myriad of ways in the workplace, from making you a more effective manager and increasing your productivity, to ensuring you achieve your own personal career goals and confidence in your abilities. Crucially, as with your relationships, practising gratitude can help develop and grow your professional network – someone who says thank you, who is grateful to their colleagues and peers, is seen in a positive light, and likely to get considered for promotions, jobs or new opportunities. The qualities that gratitude encourage, means people simply like and trust you more, a vital fator in the workplace. So, start out practising the art of gratitude by trying the ‘three good things’ exercise. As the name suggests, this is about picking three good things that have happened that day – do it at the end of the day, when you have time to think about it, but are also not to wired to overthink it. This will leave you with a positive feeling before bed, ensuring a better sleep and a happier state of mind when you wake, and the effects continue from there.
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Inspire
‘‘Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it’’ ~ William Arthur Ward
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INSPIRE
12 Tips for Teaching Children Gratitude By: Kathleen Berchelmann, MD, FAAP
Tired of bickering, jealousy, and selfishness? Kids are naturally materialistic and selfserving– but the good news is that gratitude can be taught. And from gratitude flows joy. Tricks for Teaching Children Gratitude and Creating a More Joyful Home:
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SURPRISE THEM! AVOID TOO MANY CHOICES: Surprises help children see something as a gift, not an entitlement. Having too many choices breeds unhappiness– you are always wondering if you could have something better. One night, we tried to have a conversation with our children about where we might go for our summer vacation. Within five minutes, DisneyWorld was not good enough. Everyone had a better idea, and no one was going to be happy with whatever we came up with. I put a prompt end to that conversation, and about a week later, I announced that I had a big surprise– we were going to Mt. Rushmore! I showed off my plans for our national park camping vacation, and they couldn’t have been more excited. Our low-budget road trip turned out to be a fabulous success.
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TALK ABOUT THE BEST PARTS OF YOUR DAY: Talk about the best parts of your day: Find some time each day to talk about what you are thankful for– perhaps at the dinner table, before bed, or while you are driving in the car. Ask your children, “What was the best part of your day?” For older children, try keeping a gratitude journal. Gratitude journals have been shown to be an effective approach to helping children be happier: One study had 221 sixth- and seventh-graders write down five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks. Three weeks later, these students had a better outlook on school and greater life satisfaction compared with kids assigned to list five hassles.
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TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THEIR PAST: Teach your children their past: What are your family stories of hardship and perseverance? My husband’s great-grandmother ironed for a living– her iron is now a bookend in our house, reminding our children what hard work really means. As a child, my grandmother washed dishes for ten cents per week during the depression. We keep her picture in our study, and tell our children her story. Not sure of your past? Just take a family trip to the history museum, a battlefield, or other historic site. You will return home grateful.
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HELP YOUR CHILDREN SERVE SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT “NEED” CHARITY: Help your children serve someone who does not “need” charity: It’s great for kids to participate in scout food collections and other community charity programs, but these events only occur a few times per year and you rarely meet the people you are serving. Find someone in your everyday life for your children to serve regularly, even if this person doesn’t really need charity. We have a neighbour who lives alone and appreciates our left-overs so she doesn’t have to cook for one person. Our kids love to bring her food. One night they were all griping about how they didn’t like the dinner I made, until I asked them to bring a plate to our neighbour. Suddenly all the complaining stopped and they were out the door with her food, eager to have the opportunity to serve her.
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FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE, ALL DAY: I tell my children several times each day, “Attitude is a choice.” Choosing to have a positive attitude is actually our #1 house rule. It’s an all-day effort to constantly turn around the whining, jealousy, and complaining and instead focus on positive. “I’m thirsty!” needs to become, “Mommy, may I please have a drink?” “Where are my shoes?!” has to change to “Daddy, can you please help me find my shoes?”
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SAY “THANK YOU:” Say “Thank you:” Teach young children to say “thank you” as part of a full sentence, for example, “Thank you, Daddy, for making dinner.” Encourage school-aged kids to say thank you throughout the day, especially when you help them get ready for school or drive them to activities. Have them thank coaches for practice and music teachers for lessons. Struggling to get your children to say “thank you” without reminders? For ten years I reminded my children to say “thank you” when they were served at a restaurant, but I just couldn’t get them to do it without prompting. Now, if they forget to say “thank-you” they have to seek out their server and personally thank them before leaving. No more reminders necessary…
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LEAD BY EXAMPLE: How many times per day do you say “thank you”? Have you told your children what you are thankful for today? Our children are watching our every waking move. We can’t ask them to be grateful if we are not. Come home and talk about the happy parts of your day, making a conscious choice not to complain.
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TEACH “’TIS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE.” EVEN TODDLERS CAN BUY OR MAKE GIFTS FOR OTHERS: Take young children holiday shopping at the dollar store. Challenge them to pick out gifts for others without buying something for themselves. It’s hard!
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MAKE TIME FOR CHORES: Most children have about four hours between the time they get home from school and bedtime. During those four hours, they have to accomplish homework, extracurricular activities, dinner, bath, and bedtime. It’s hard to find time for chores. Without chores, children just can’t understand what it takes to run a household– they will take clean laundry and dishes for granted. Find age-appropriate chores for your children, even just 5-10 minutes per day. Consider leaving time-intensive chores for the weekend, such as yard work, bathroom cleaning, and linen changing.
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LET BIG KIDS TAKE CARE OF LITTLE KIDS: They say you can’t really understand what it takes to raise a child until you have your own children. Perhaps, but giving big kids responsibilities for little kids will start to help them have an attitude of gratitude towards their parents. Pair up big kids with little kids to get chores done or get through homework. School aged children can read books to toddlers or help them get dressed. Your older children will gain self-confidence and a sense of responsibility, and the relationship they build with their younger siblings will last a lifetime.
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GIVE EXPERIENTIAL GIFTS, NOT STUFF: How about gifting a membership to the children’s museum, a soccer registration fee, or a camping trip? Experiential gifts build relationships, not materialism.
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MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN’S MEDIA: Our children are bombarded with age-targeted marketing that they are too young to resist or understand. Media fuels materialism. It is our job to carefully monitor their media so that they aren’t dragged into marketing and made to feel incomplete or unfulfilled.
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The Holy Month Explore the delightful customs observed by over 1.5 billion Muslims during the holiest month of the Islamic Calendar
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Ramadan (also known as Ramazan, Ramzan, Ramadhan, or Ramathan) is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar and is observed by Muslims worldwide as a month of fasting to commemorate the first revelation of the Quran to Muhammad according to Islamic belief. This annual observance is regarded as one of the Five Pillars of Islam. The month lasts 29–30 days based on the visual sightings of the crescent moon, according to numerous biographical accounts compiled in the hadiths. Ramadan is considered to be a time for gratitude, helping the less fortunate and to reconnect with Allah. With Islam being such a widespread and ancient religion, it has blended itself with many of the local aspects from region to region. This has given birth to several traditions celebrating Ramadan along with the unique flavours of each country.
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SPREADING THE JOY As the period of Ramadan begins, people greet each other by saying ‘Ramadan Mubarak’ on the first day.
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COMPLETE FOCUS ON GOD The Ramadan days begin and end with prayers. Muslims also make it a point to visit the mosque during the Ramadan month. Muslims give up water, food, intoxicating substances or sexual activities during the daylight hours only to have food twice a day; when the sun rises and when the sun sets. The meal before sunrise is called Suhoor and the meal after sunset is called Iftar.
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TRYING TO BE GOOD HUMAN BEINGS People completely refrain from vices such as greed, lust, anger, false promises or gossip. For those who are well to do, there is a tradition is to donate 2.5% of their total assets to the destitutes. This is known as ‘Zakhat’.
COMMEMORATING THE DAY THE QURAN WAS FIRST REVEALED TO PROPHET MUHAMMAD On Laylat-al-Qadr, the holiest night of the year, people offer prayers as it is believed blessings acquired on this day are a thousand times powerful than the rest of the year.
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THE PRETTY LANTERNS OF EGYPT The ‘Fanous’ or lanterns of Ramadan are one of the most captivating sights in Egypt. According to legend, the Egyptians welcomed the arrival of Caliph Moezz Eddin Allah to Cairo in the year 969 by lighting hundreds of lanterns. The tradition has continued and become a part of the Ramadan celebration.
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MARKING THE BEGINNING AND END OF THE DAY. In various cities in the Arab world, the sunrise and sunset are signalled by the firing of a cannon. This was traditionally done so even people far away could hear the sound and proceed with their day accordingly but is now mainly symbolic.
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A TREAT FOR THE YOUNG ONES The 14th day of Ramadan, is celebrated as Garangao in some parts of the Gulf. This is a fun tradition for children and a way to reward their efforts in fasting half way through the holy month. The name is derived from “Gara”, a Khaliji word for the sound of things knocking together. During Garangao, after the sunset prayer, children dress up in their traditional clothes, carry a decorated material bag, and walk around their neighborhoods singing the Garangao song, hitting stones together to create a rhythm. In the past they were given dates, rice and wheat, the ingredients used for a traditional Qatari dish called Harees, but nowadays children usually receive nuts and sweets.
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WASHING AWAY PAST SINS In parts of Indonesia, Muslims immerse themselves in water believed to be holy or bathe in holy wells or springs to cleanse themselves spiritually and physically prior to the holy month. This ritual is known as ‘Padusan’. There is also a tradition of distributing food amongst elderly family members.
THE RAMADAN DRUMMER
Known as the Mesaharaty, their job is to walk every morning through the streets while playing a drum and singing holy songs to wake people up for the final meal before the fast begins. This tradition continues to this day in the Gulf countries.
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THE BREAKING OF THE FAST
While every country has its share of delicacies prepared for the Iftar, people generally break their fast by consuming either dates or water first. Preparation for the Iftar begins a couple of hours before sunset with some people preparing extra food to share with the needy or even inviting them to dine side by side. Here are some of the most popular dishes consumed during Ramadan in different parts
Biryani: Biryani is a mixed rice dish from the Indian subcontinent. It is popular throughout the subcontinent and among the diaspora from the region. It is made with spices, rice, lentils, meat and vegetables.
Haleem: A stew popular in the Middle East, Central Asia, Pakistan, and India. Although the dish varies from region to region, it always includes wheat, barley, lentils and meat. Popular variations include Keşkek in Turkey, Iran, Azerbaijan and northern Iraq; Harissa in the Arab world and Armenia; Khichra in Pakistan and India; and Hyderabadi Haleem in Telangana, India.
Qatayef: A special Arabic dessert, commonly served during Ramadan. Sometimes called “arabic pancakes”, it is a type of dumpling filled with sweet cheese and nuts which is then fried.
Kofta: A type of meatball or meatloaf dish found in South Asian, Middle Eastern, Balkan, and Central Asian cuisine. In the simplest form, koftas consist of balls of minced or ground meat (usually beef, chicken, lamb, or pork) mixed with spices and/or onions.
Pastirma: A highly seasoned, airdried cured beef of Anatolian origin and is now a part of the cuisines of the former Ottoman countries such as Turkey.
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The Origins of Ramadan Learn the history of what is the most important time of the year for Muslims across the world
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amadan, which falls on the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, is the most religiously significant time of year for Muslims throughout the world. It marks the month in which the Quran—the holy text of Islam—was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad by the archangel Gabriel in 610 CE. This is a month of fasting, prayer, and reflection for Muslims. During this time, Muslims refrain from eating or drinking from sunrise to sunset, and strive to avoid thoughts and behavior which are considered to be impure under the tenets of Islam. Muslims believe that the spiritual rewards for this good behavior are increased during Ramadan. This fast is broken each day with a meal shared amongst family and friends, and the end of Ramadan culminates in a three-day festival, known as Eid al-Fitr. The origins of Ramadan lie in the life of Muhammad, the founding prophet of Islam, and in the story of his encounter with the divine.
The First Ramadan When Muhammad was forty, he began to spend time in solitude, thinking on questions which troubled him. To do this, he took on the habit of retreating to a cave within a mountain called al-Hira for a month at a time. One year, around 610 CE, Muhammad went up to al-Hira on a day like any other, but he was soon visited by the archangel Gabriel, who took hold of Muhammad and commanded terrified man to “read.” Muhammad was so afraid that he refused twice before actually asking what it was he was supposed to read. Gabriel replied with this. “Proclaim! in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who Created man, out of a clot of congealed blood: Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful,– Who taught by the pen– Taught man that which he knew not.” Gabriel then proclaimed that “Thou art the messenger
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of God and I am Gabriel,” and Muhammad fled the cave, thinking that he had been accosted by an evil spirit. He ran down the mountainside, and as he did, the angel, Gabriel, appeared in its true form in the sky above him, filling the entire sky, which had become green, which, incidentally, is where Islam gains its official color. When Muhammad returned home, he told his family of what had happened, and when he sought the wisdom of a particularly devout Christian relative, he was told that he had been chosen as a prophet of God. Shortly after, Muhammad began to receive further revelations from Gabriel, as well as from the realizations of his own heart. According to hadith—the stories about Muhammad’s life—all holy scriptures were sent down during Ramadan, making these 30 days the holiest in this religion. The Traditions of Ramadan As one of the Five Pillars of Islam—the fundamental acts of Islamic worship—Ramadan is rife with sacred traditions. The beginnings and endings of Ramadan are ruled by the lunar cycles, and so the beginning of this holy month typically falls a day or so after the new moon. At this time, many Muslims decorate their homes with lamps, lights, crescents, and stars. Although make no mistake—Ramadan isn’t a time for celebration, but rather for spiritual reflection. The use of lanterns is beautifully prevalent, with these lights being commonly hung at shops, homes, streets, and many other places. This tradition may have originated in Egypt, where, during the Fatimid Caliphate, Caliph al-Mu’izz li-Din Allah was greeted by lantern-holders to celebrate his rule. The central activity of Ramadan is, of course, fasting. For the entire month, Muslims refrain from eating while the sun is shining, with the exception of those who are elderly, ill, or have any other condition which might preclude fasting. This fasting must be intentional. The concept of niyyah—which means “intention”—guides the fasting of Ramadan. Muslims must willfully dedicate their fast to Allah alone in order to achieve niyyah. Each day, this fast is broken after sunset, often with dates, as the Prophet Muhammad recommended.
Muslims gather their friends and families in what are called Iftar parties to eat in fellowship. After breaking the fast, but before eating dinner, Muslims offer the fourth of their five daily prayers— the Maghrib prayer, and after dinner, they make their way to their Mosques to offer the fith daily prayer, known as the Isha prayer. The day will often end with a special voluntary prayer called Taraweeh, which is offered by the congregation. The final ten days of Ramadan are considered some of the most holy. The 27th night is of particular importance—this is called the “Night of Power.” This is the night that Muhammad received his first revelation, and many Muslims spend this day praying and reciting the Quran. After the 30 days of Ramadan have passed, the month concludes in a celebration, known as Eid-ul-Fitr, wherein Muslims gather to offer prayers of thanks. Delicious dishes are prepared for the occasion, and Muslims everywhere visit friends and exchange gifts during this time. A Month of Faith This isn’t just a time for abstract reflection—Ramadan has a real, practical purpose that creates real changes within those who observe it.Ramadan is all about growing nearer to God. Physically carrying out tasks solely for God helps Muslims to feel that He is a reality in their lives, and bequeaths a sense of purpose and direction. It is also about developing and strengthening powers of self-control so that, throughout the rest of the year, sinful desires and thoughts can be better resisted. Finally, Ramadan is a great time to learn and practice charity, kindness, and generosity. Deprivation and fasting helps Muslims to remember the plight of those less fortunate, as well as those blessings that may normally be taken for granted. Above all, those who observe Ramadan find themselves with a chance to truly contemplate their faith and rid themselves of those bad habits they have accumulated over the previous year. It is a time unlike any other in the Islamic calendar, a sort of “reset button” for the soul. For Muslims, Ramadan was founded so that humankind could benefit from its customs to change themselves for the better, strengthening their bond with God and enabling themselves to make the world a better place.
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Islamic calligraphy
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slamic Calligraphy is based on the Arabic script. in many regions of the Islamic Empire. Thuluth is often The Arabic alphabet includes 28 letters and is considered the most powerful and versatile scripts and written from right to left. The letters change form known as the mother of all scripts. when used in the start, middle, end or in an isolation During the same period (10th century) the Naskh script state making Arabic a naturally cursive language. The was developed. Naskh which means ‘copy’ was used to Arabic language and subsequently the art of Islamic copy book especially the Holy Quran - it replaced Kufic calligraphy is held in great esteem as the script of choice for the Quran. ‘‘Letters change form It continues to be in use today in the by Muslims because Arabic was the language in which the Quran was of printed books due to its when used in the start, design revealed to Prophet Mohammed modern look and cursive letters. (PBUH). Over the centuries many After the Abbasid dynasty the Safavid middle, end making different scripts emerged. These dynasty was established in Persia and Arabic a naturally scripts evolved over time and were made significant contributions to influenced by different artistic styles Islamic art and calligraphy. It developed cursive language’’ from various regions. the existing Ta’liq scrip and a more Kufic is the first script associated with the Quran. developed version called Nasta’liq. It was developed originally for writing on stone In the Ta’liq script the letters don’t connect on the left this script is an angular style recognized by its short and descending strokes appear as loops. The script is often vertical and elongated horizontal lines. It was used written with large gaps between the lines help identify almost to the end of the 13th century – today it letters and words. Nasta’liq was originally developed to mainly for titles or architectural inscriptions. write the Persian language and has features both of naskh The Maghribi script was developed in the 10th and ta’liq scripts. century. Maghribi means ‘western’ in Arabic During the Ottoman Empire (1444-1923) many scripts and refers to the western Islamic world of North developed such as Diwani and Riq’a. Diwani was used Africa and Spain where this script was developed. in the courts to write official documents. It is a difficult The distinctive characteristics of this script are its script to read which made it ideal for court documents descending stroke has large bowls with sweeping because it insured confidentiality and protected it from loops. You can still see the script used in Morocco, forgery. Wide spaces appear between lines and lines Algeria and Tunisia in particular. ascend upward as they move from right to left. When During the Abbasid dynasty, Thuluth and Naskh written in large form the empty spaces are filled small scripts were developed. The Thuluth script is marked dots. Letters that do not normally connect on the left by its clear structure and readability which made it and often connected in this script. The Riq’a script is a suitable for a number of purposes even today. Vertical simplified form of Diwani using short strokes and letters strokes have a leftward slant and the ends of most being more straight than rounded. descending letters come up in a hook. It is suitable Thus Arabic calligraphy has developed over 14 for both titles and long tests. Thuluth is used in the centuries in various regions of the world. Traditional Holy Quran and in architectural Islamic decoration scripts are still used today to venerate the word of Allah.
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Different Arabic Calligraphy Styles
·Kufic ·Muhaqqaq ·Naskh ·Thuluth ·Towqi ·Reqaa
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- STORY OF WISDOM -
The Wise Luqman Al- Hakim
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any, many years ago there lived a scholar went a little further. People seeing them, said, “How called Luqman. He was very wise. He was foolish you are? You walk behind a donkey. Why an African who was caught as a slave and don’t you ride it?” Luqman and his son once again accepted what the sold in another country. Luqman was so wise and respected that a Surah in the Qur’an also is called people said. They both rode the donkey and went by his name (Surah Luqman, Chapter 31). He gave further. They came across a river. There was a bridge good advice to his children. His advice is equally to be crossed. Some people were sitting there. They good for all the children of the world even today. saw Luqman and his son riding the donkey. One of Once Luqman said to his son, “Oh son! Do not tie them said, “It is very unkind and cruel of you two to your heart in seeking the pleasure of people. You are ride on the poor donkey. The little animal can hardly not likely to succeed. Do not pay attention to what take all your burden.” So taking this advice Luqman people say. Instead tell yourself always to seek the and his son dismounted from the donkey. They travelled a little distance further. Looking pleasure of God.” Luqman wanted this lesson to be always very lovingly Luqman said to his son, “You have heard remembered. Never to be forgotten. He thought of and seen what the people said. It must have assured a way. He then told his son to ride a donkey. The you, by now, that whatever you do or whichever way son obeyed while he the father followed behind on you move, one is not able to please the people of the world.” He pointed at the flowing foot. They travelled in this way river and added,“ A person can for some distance. After some “Whatever you do or build a wall across the river. It will distance, they came across a group of people. Seeing the son whichever way you move, stop the flow of the water. But it is not possible to shut the mouth on the donkey, one of them said, one is not able to please of the people from criticism.” “What an impolite and bad boy. clearly, similar is the case in The old father is walking on foot. the people of the world.” Very our world today. The young son is comfortably The tongue has no bone. It riding on the donkey. This is no manner to show respect to one’s father”. The father can speak even without thought. There are as many and son heard this. The son came down from the opinions as there are people in the world. It is very bad to find fault with the other person. Especially donkey and Luqman rode on the animal. After some time, they came across another group when he is doing something good. A person can feel of people. On seeing the father riding the donkey, the very hurt when he listens to all the tongues that talk elder of the group said, “Oh you old man! This is not loose. To avoid getting hurt by loose talk, a person the way to bring up a son. You make him walk in the can train himself. He can discipline himself to think. By thinking he can know what is wrong and void. hot sun, while you sit comfortably on the donkey.” Luqman paid attention to what the people said. He When a person is sure that what he is doing will came down from the donkey. Both father and son please his Master, the Almighty Allah, then he must walked on foot, the donkey walked in front. They never worry what others speak.
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Asma-ul-Husna The Light, The Illuminator, The One who Reveals The One who is the divine light of all the worlds. The One whose light who illuminates the heart. The One who is the light of wisdom and guidance. The One whose light clarifies, manifests and reveals. The One light by which the obscure is made clear. The One who clears away all darkness and directs aright.
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Ramadan: A Month of Reflection and Hope
by Dr Asma Naheed, Educational Psychologist, Special Needs Consultant and Public Speaker
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young girl from our mosque once said to me: ‘I love the month of Ramadan because it gives me the chance to change’. ‘But do you feel that it’s possible to also change throughout the year?’, I asked. She responded: ‘I don’t think I can really change if I tried to, except in Ramadan’. ‘Why?’ I asked gently. She paused and pondered, and then said slowly, ‘Because Ramadan is the month of hope.’ When millions of Muslims around the world begin fasting during daylight hours with the start of Ramadan, they experience a unique sense of solidarity. Besides being a major practice in Islam to fast during Ramadan, this month is significant for Muslims because it was during this month that God revealed the first verses of the Qur’an to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). During the month of Ramadan, many believers around the world excel in fulfilling their obligations: increasing their voluntary deeds, engaging in frequent repentance and supplications, refraining from major sins, forgiving and uniting with one another and improving their manners and general spiritual awakening. It is an amazing and beautiful thing to observe. It is during Ramadan that a powerful transformation takes place in the mind and heart, which causes many believers to fulfill more of their potential than ever before. If you want to truly benefit and experience constant growth, the first realisation should be to acknowledge that you are able to do good, by the will of Allah, and there are unimaginable and incredible blessings and rewards for those who strive to do good. While Ramadan is a powerful time, people are of course capable of changing for the better throughout the year. Usually, something sparks your motivation to change and the inception of the journey of growth is internal. In other words, the only obstacle between you and genuine, positive change is yourself. But Ramadan is a good reminder to achieve this, it is a time to ponder and reflect on internal reason to do more good deeds.
Some reasons to wait for Ramadan to make positive changes might include: You believe that there is more hope. You are tired of not trying throughout the year. You want to take advantage of the magnified rewards. You are afraid of missing something important and irreplaceable. You are encouraged by the general environment in Muslim communities in Ramadan. You are afraid of facing the thought that, if you are not capable of change in Ramadan (or on virtuous occasions), when are you capable of change?
The reality is that you are capable of change at any time throughout the year. The proof is all around us. We are a living testament that anyone who desires positive change can, by the will of Allah, attain it. The problem is when we continuously postpone that amazing journey to a future that is unguaranteed. Your actions are more telling than your words, and certainly more than your thoughts. If you imagine that one day you will be better, then start today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and accountability is based on our actions not our wishes or fantasies. Take the first step to Allah with sincerity and the rewards will be significantly greater than just setting an intention. May Allah bless us and guide us to constantly seek progress, improvement and success, Amen.
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This month I am.. .… Trying to solve..
Reading..
Listening to..
Gratitude by Oliver Sacks ‘My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved. I have been given much and I have given something in return. Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.’ So says the inspirational Oliver Sacks in this A series of heart-rending yet uplifting essays. Written as he faced serious illness and ultimately his final breath, Sacks chose to focus not on his illhealth, but on what is meant by living a ‘good and worthwhile life’.
Ted Talk: Want to be happy? Be Grateful The one thing all humans have in common is that each of us wants to be happy, says Brother David Steindl-Rast, a monk and interfaith scholar. And happiness, he suggests, is born from gratitude. An inspiring lesson in slowing down, looking where you’re going, and above all, being grateful.
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‘‘Thank you is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility and understanding’’ ~ Alice Walker
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‘‘Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul’’ - Henry Ward Beecher