Friday, October 23, 2015

SINCE 1891

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015

VOLUME CL, ISSUE 91

Service Response team seeks higher pay, additional staff After joining union six months ago, Service Response team in process of renegotiating contract

By ANICA GREEN SENIOR STAFF WRITER

The University’s Service Response staff members, who are responsible for handling immediate service needs in all 250 University buildings, have expressed dissatisfaction with low pay and understaffing relative to peer institutions. They joined the United Service and Allied Workers of Rhode Island six months ago, and they continue to seek to negotiate a new contract.

The Service Response team, which is on call 24 hours a day and seven days a week, currently has six fulltime employees and one part-time employee. By comparison, Yale has 15 full- or part-time employees on its

24/7 Facilities Operations Customer Service team, which services a similar number of buildings. The starting salary for a full-time employee on the Service Response team is $16.41 compared to $23.71 at Yale, which has slightly less stringent hiring standards.

Paul Mancini, director of labor and employee relations, declined to comment on the negotiations because they involve “personal compensation levels … for a small number of individuals.”

USAW-RI represents much of the University’s Dining Services, Facilities Management and library staff. The union supported library workers in their ongoing contract negotiations with the University in spring 2014.

“The basic idea is to put Service Response along with other groups in the bargaining unit,” said Karen McAninch ’74, business agent for USAW-RI. Service Response staff » See SERVICE, page 2

WWW.BROWNDAILYHERALD.COM

SPORTS FEATURE

Young trio prepares for second act Brown’s three NHL draftees look to shake up ECAC establishment after tough first year

By MATT BROWNSWORD SENIOR STAFF WRITER

Ever since LeBron James joined Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade on the Miami Heat and counted all the NBA Finals that he was never going to appear in, modern sports has revolved around the idea of the Big Three. Teams from all sports have built and marketed themselves around three stars — from FC Barcelona’s three-headed offensive attack to the Chicago Blackhawks’ allstar forward line in the Stanley Cup playoffs last year.

The Brown men’s hockey team has embodied the importance of dynamic trios. The first line of Matt Lorito ’15, co-captain Mark Naclerio ’16 and cocaptain Nick Lappin ’16 — who played

ELI WHITE / HERALD

Tyler Bird ’18 celebrates a goal against Harvard last year. Bird, Sam Lafferty ’18 and Max Willman ’18 hope to pick up where they left off last season. on the same line for the better part of two consecutive years — accounted for 43 percent of the Bears’ points over the past two seasons.

But with Lorito having graduated and Lappin and Naclerio entering

their final seasons on College Hill, the era of the Big Three of Brown men’s hockey is coming to a close.

Or is it?

A disappointing campaign for the » See M. HOCKEY, page 3

Q&A: Band Harriet talks inspiration, style Fledgling Los Angelesbased band combines varied musical styles, adds unique spin

By CAMILLA BRANDFIELD HARVEY STAFF WRITER

JULIANNA LEE MARINO / HERALD

“If a pastry isn’t up to par one day, then we don’t sell it. We want each customer to have the same, great experience every time they walk in here,” said Cara Gibbons, a manager at Seven Stars bakery.

Seven Stars whips up pastries in unique ways

Hope Street bakery combines custom brews, pastries at neighborhood hotspot

By MADISON RIVLIN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

The smell of fresh-baked bread mingled with the aroma of hot coffee lures passersby into Seven Stars Bakery, a Hope Street establishment with a commitment to maintaining a meticulous baking process and supporting the local community.

ARTS & CULTURE

INSIDE

What started in 2001 as a small, family-owned business has since expanded to encompass three locations with over 100 employees. Despite this growth, the business still places the same importance on the quality of its products as it did when it started, said Jim and Lynn Williams, owners of Seven Stars.

“The philosophy has always been the same,” said Cara Gibbons, an employee of Seven Stars in the management department. “If a pastry isn’t up to par one day, then we don’t sell it.

We want each customer to have the same, great experience every time they walk in here.”

The pride Seven Stars has for the

quality of its products is evident in the lengths it goes to find the right blends, grains and recipes. When it comes to pastries and breads, for example, Seven Stars produces 200 to 300 pounds of two different kinds of whole wheat and rye annually at the mill it purchased earlier this year.

The bakery uses absolutely no preservatives, which allows fermentation to take place over a longer period of time, Lynn Williams said. In addition, the lack of preservatives prolongs shelf life of the product, slows the staling process and increases flavor, she said.

Customers appreciate the meticulous baking process and the quality of » See BAKERY, page 2

Harriet, a Los Angeles-based fourpiece Indie rock band laced with electronic and pop sounds, will play at AS220’s Psychic Readings room on Friday. The band — composed of Alex Casnoff on vocals and keyboard, Henry Kwapis on drums, Patrick Kelly on electric bass and Matt Blitzer on guitar — formed in 2011 and solidified its members in 2012.

With a fledgling Spotify presence, a bicoastal following and a deal with Harvest Records, Harriet has been on the road playing shows in New York and visiting colleges and universities in the area. The group’s next album, “American Appetite,” is set to be released Jan. 29. The show Friday — which will also include Simulcast, Follies and J. Mamana — will run from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

The Herald interviewed Casnoff and Blitzer before Friday’s show. At the time of the interview, Casnoff was sitting with Brown alums in the Meatball Shop in New York City and Blitzer

ARTS & CULTURE

was visiting a Korean spa in Queens.

Herald: How did the four of you come together?

Casnoff: Henry and I had been playing together for some time, and we went to high school together. The band went through a bunch of different iterations. Eventually Pat — who was in a band with Matt — joined.

Blitzer: Pat and I were in college together, and he had been playing in the band for about four months and recording with them in Sacramento.

One day, I got a call from Alex while I was stepping into a queer theory class at California Instutute of the Arts, and he asked if I wanted to join the band.

What would you call your style?

Casnoff: We like to take wellwritten songs and fuck them up as much as possible. Essentially, we try to take a pop song and see how far we can fuck it up.

Blitzer: One of the dudes who produced the album called our style a combination of Radiohead and Paul Simon, so that was pretty rad.

I tell people we’re in an electronic rock band, but they think that means we sound like Imagine Dragons. We sound nothing like Imagine Dragons.

What is your inspiration, stylistically or lyrically? » See HARRIET, page 2

WEATHER

FRIDAY, OC TOBER 23, 2015

SPORTS Women’s hockey team looks to improve upon last year’s two-win campaign in upcoming season

SPORTS Yahel Murvitz-Lahav ’17 named Athlete of the Week after leading men’s water polo team to Ivy title

COMMENTARY Mitra ’18: Though diverse authors have gained critical acclaim, tokenism abounds in publishing

COMMENTARY Malik ’18: Halloween can serve as a salient reminder that horror is important to human existence

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TOMORROW

52 / 35

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ARTS & CULTURE PAGE 2 • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

» BAKERY, from page 1

COURTESY OF HARRIET

“One of the dudes who produced the album called our style a combination of Radiohead and Paul Simon, so that was pretty rad,” said guitarist Matt Blitzer of the eclectic Los Angeles group Harriet the Band.

» HARRIET, from page 1 Casnoff: We’ve been listening to a lot of David Bowie and a lot of African rock music.

Blitzer: We’re listening to Thee Oh Sees a lot. We’ve also been listening to New Order and Talking Heads.

Casnoff: I think this is common for our generation, since music is so accessible, but we really listen to everything — to hip hop, punk, dance

» SERVICE, from page 1 members are slated to make less based on the current status of negotiations, which prompted the union to research pay practices at other institutions, McAninch said.

To try to prove that they are being underpaid, members of the response team compared their salaries to those of other University workers whose operating manuals were less extensive but who made more. David Maloney, a Service Response staff member, said

music. I think it’s about finding little pieces from each thing that I hear and putting them into the band.

Can you tell me more about the tour?

Casnoff: We came up north for the CMJ Music Marathon on Oct. 15 in New York, which is like South by Southwest, but we booked as many shows as we could around the city. My aunt lent us her car, and we’ve driven the University did not feel as though the comparison was accurate.

The union hired a third-party company to compare salary grades on a nationwide scale to companies and institutions with similar job titles and descriptions, Maloney said. But the University did not accept the thirdparty company’s figures as grounds for an accurate comparison.

Service Response team members then looked into how similar positions are filled at peer institutions, finding Yale to be the most similar

around. We’ve played at Bard College and Sarah Lawrence College, and we’re playing at Wesleyan University.

We wanted to see the orange and red and yellow trees.

Blitzer: Yeah totally. For sure.

Casnoff: All of the college shows have been so much more fun than those in the city.

— This interview has been edited for clarity and length. in terms of size and job demands: Yale’s campus has 260 buildings, while Brown’s has 250, and the job descriptions were nearly identical, Maloney said. Both universities require either a bachelor of arts or some work experience in the field. But Brown requires eight years of experience to Yale’s six in lieu of a college degree.

The team has struggled to fulfill its duties for a long time due to chronic understaffing, staff members said. Another member of the Service Response team, who requested anonymity due to concerns about potential repercussions, said the “flexible” part-time position causes much of the problem.

The person in this position is only officially scheduled to work from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays but is required to remain on call 24/7 in case anyone else falls ill or leaves town. Five people have occupied the position in the last nine years, the Service Response team member said.

“It’s attractive because it’s parttime but with full benefits, and that’s great, but once the person actually gets in here and realizes what the job entails, they are gone in six months to a year,” the Service Response team member said, adding that when someone leaves, it usually takes six to nine months to find a replacement.

Maloney said his manager told him the full training period takes “six months until you are functional and two years before you are fluent.”

Team members said Derek Henries, their supervisor, helps by taking time away from his managerial duties to answer the telephone, which the University cites as a reason not to hire another person.

Around four years ago, the University carried out a round of layoffs in Facilities. Even as some other Facilities positions were subsequently refilled, one of the Service Response team members was never replaced.

the products, as pumpkin seed bread, olive bread and cinnamon buns fly off the counter this time of year, Gibbons said. Seven Stars’ offerings are also available at the Brown University Farmer’s Market throughout September and October.

The bakery’s values of community and quality also manifest themselves in its coffee selection and brewing techniques. Mark Hundley, coffee director at Seven Stars and expert on all things coffee-related, said he is in charge of maintenance of machines, coffee quality control and barista training. Hundley attends coffee conferences to further his coffee education and even travels annually to Guatemala to select the farm from which the coffee for the year is harvested.

This year, he selected the single-owner Valparaiso Farm.

“Coffee has distinguishable characteristics based on where it’s from and which farm is growing it,” Hundley said. “Visiting the actual farms in Guatemala allows us to get the flavor of the coffee to be exactly what we want, and if we don’t like something, we can give the farm feedback.”

Seven Stars is also committed to supporting other small, local businesses. For example, the bakery collaborates with New Harvest Coffee Roasters, a coffee roaster based in Pawtucket.

Just like each farm, each roaster

can alter the taste of the coffee.

“We have a pretty great dialogue with New Harvest,” Hundley said. The roaster “can change airflow, temperature … to make it taste a certain way or make certain flavors come out.”

“Working together with a local roaster allows us to have a hand in the quality and variety of our coffee,” Lynn Williams said. “We aren’t just mail ordering.”

Aside from these year-round collaborations, Seven Stars hosts community events, including its third annual Oktoberfest Thursday. The German beer festival was held in support of the Hope Street Merchants Association, a union of approximately 25 businesses on Hope Street that share a common interest in highlighting unique aspects of their neighborhood.

Oktoberfest featured food, drinks and a performance from Victor Main, a classical guitarist and former Seven Stars employee. But Oktoberfest was not only meant to be a fundraiser — rather, it was part of a larger conscious effort to forge a sense of community and preserve a sense of individuality on Hope Street.

The association also hosts similar festivals and fundraisers throughout the year and works to beautify the neighborhood through adding benches and planters along the street. “The Hope Street Merchants Association is a group of amazing entrepreneurs that want to keep Hope Street a unique destination,” Lynn Williams said.

On-call facilities staff at a glance: Brown and Yale STAFF MEMBERS

7

Brown

250 260

15

BUILDINGS

Yale

Brown

Yale

STARTING WAGE

$16.41 $23.71

Brown

69%

Yale

The entry-level wage for members of Brown’s Service Response staff is about 69% of that of their counterparts at Yale.

NECESSARY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE If staff members do not have a B.A.

6 Yale

8 Brown

Source: David Maloney, Service Response staff member LAURA FELENSTEIN / HERALD

Maloney said he attempted to call in sick on Sunday, Oct. 11 but was told he needed to come to work because of the understaffing problem.

Though McAninch acknowledged that the team might be overshadowed

in the union due to its small size, she said the team’s “specialized” function at the University gives it negotiating power, citing the successful April strike by technicians at the Rhode Island School of Design.

SPORTS

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015 • PAGE 3

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

W. HOCKEY

Young team looks to improve upon disappointing 2014-15 campaign Early practice schedule, renewed optimism become new themes for hopeful Bears

By JACK BROOK CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Anyone going to Meehan Auditorium at 6 a.m. on a Tuesday will be able to find the women’s ice hockey team, as part of an unusual regimen under new head coach Bob Kenneally ’90.

Kenneally likes to tell his players they are likely the only Division 1 team practicing at that hour — while most of their opponents are sleeping — with the aim that by the time the season starts Oct. 23 against Maine, they will be prepared to outwork any other team.

Kenneally represents a paradigm shift in the mentality of the women’s hockey team this year, a mentality which he hopes will allow the team to transition from a culture of losing — they won only two games last year — to one of optimism.

“When the norm is not being successful in terms of wins and losses, teams can buy into that and accept it after a while,” Kenneally said. “We

» M. HOCKEY, from page 1 Bears in 2014-15 did feature some bright spots, including the introduction of three first-years from Northeast preparatory schools, all of whom were chosen in the 2014 NHL Entry Draft. Tyler Bird ’18, Sam Lafferty ’18 and Max Willman ’18 each made noise in their opening campaign at Brown and helped the team build momentum in the latter part of the season.

Lafferty was the only one to not start his high school career in Massachusetts. The Pennsylvania native played two years in his home state before transferring to the elite prep school Deerfield Academy. Bird played for St. John’s Preparatory School before coming to Kimball Union Academy in New Hampshire, while Willman spent four years at Barnstable High School and a post-graduate year at Williston-Northampton.

Though all three ended up at prep schools, each one had a different journey to get to that level.

“My experience was a little different,” Willman said. “I played public school hockey and played an extra year at the prep school level where these guys played. That extra year definitely prepared me for the next step to college hockey.”

“I definitely had a great experience my senior year,” Bird said. “The head coach had coached at Maine for 11 years. He definitely knew what he was doing, and he prepared me … as well as he could for college hockey.”

Despite playing in different conferences, the three met each other on the ice the year before they came to Brown.

Lafferty said he played Willman three or four times over the course of the year, in addition to facing off periodically against Bird. “It was cool to see other recruits in the league, and we had some good battles there,” Lafferty said.

are trying to change that norm to be more of a team that is expecting to be successful and expecting to win games.”

Kenneally is well-equipped for the task: He played for the Brown men’s hockey team in the late 80s and spent 20 years working in the Department of Athletics, including as head coach of men’s and women’s golf, and most recently as executive asociate director of athletics. His extensive experience with Brown makes him especially sympathetic to the needs of a working student-athlete.

“He has a great understanding of the demands of our schedule,” said assistant captain Hunter Davis ’16.

“He knows what it is like to eat and live and breathe as a student-athlete.

There is a difference between someone who has lived it and someone who has not had that experience.”

Joining Kenneally in providing new life to the team is a promising group of six first-years. Kenneally says that three of these first-years — forwards Bridget Carey ’19, Cara Najjar ’19 and Abby Niewchas ’19 — will form the core of his primary power play unit, marking a rarity for first-years at the college level.

In addition to the young guns, the

In the summer before all three headed to Brown, the NHL entry draft rolled around. The annual event features NHL teams selecting 18- to 20-year-olds, granting them the exclusive right to sign those players to professional contracts. These rights last until Aug. 15 of the year the player graduates college, and a team can sign its draftees whenever it feels they are ready to play. While Willman attended the draft, Bird and Lafferty waited from afar after hearing that teams had shown interest in them.

Taken in the fourth round by the Pittsburgh Penguins, Lafferty was the first Brown commit to be drafted.

Eight picks later, Willman was selected by the Buffalo Sabres with the first pick in round five.

Bird said he interviewed with a few teams, and the Columbus Blue Jackets showed particular interest in him. “When it was (Columbus’) turn to pick, I was looking, and obviously I was pretty excited to be drafted — It’s a surreal feeling,” he said.

He was selected 16 picks after Willman at 137th overall.

Then came the decision about whether to attend Brown in 2014 or take an extra year to play juniors or in another league. Bird and Lafferty joined the team straight after their high school careers wrapped up. Bird — having played only four years of high school hockey — was one of the youngest players in college hockey in the 2014-15 season.

“It was my decision and the coach’s decision as well,” Bird said. “After my senior year, we all got together and decided that it would be best to come right in.”

“I was kind of all over the place.

My plan was to take a year of juniors,” Lafferty said. But around early August, the Pittsburgh coaching staff expressed a desire for him to matriculate at Brown in the fall, and he complied with their wishes.

HUNTER LEEMING / HERALD

Catherine LeBoeuf ’17 skates toward a puck in the corner. Brown won only two games last year, but under a new coach and with newfound talent, the Bears hope to steadily gain on their ECAC opponents. team’s offense will be led by the strong shot of assistant captain Maddie Woo ’17 and the explosive quickness of last year’s leading goal-scorer Sam Donovan ’18. Co-captains Alli Rolandelli ’16 and shot blocking specialist Kelly Micholson ’16 will anchor the defense along with Davis. Between the pipes,

Kenneally says he plans to rotate between his two goalies, Monica Elvin ’17 — who had an impressive .904 save percentage last season — and Julianne Landry ’18.

The Bears have reason to be optimistic in their upcoming series against Maine starting this Friday,

having won both times they faced the Black Bears last year.

“We definitely have a younger team now,” Woo said. “We’ve graduated a lot of older players. But I feel like we all have the same vision; we are all on the same page. We are really fired up.”

After playing four years of public school hockey — which typically does not draw the same type of professional attention — Willman had lower expectations for NHL interest. He made the decision to attend Brown with academics, rather than athletics, in mind.

“In the fall when I committed here, I didn’t have much interest from NHL teams, so my biggest thing was trying to get an education,” he said. “That’s still a major priority.”

Thus, the perfect storm for the Bears arrived: After a year in which Dennis Robertson ’14 was the only NHL draftee on the roster, three firstyear forwards who had been drafted entered the fray.

But it was a baptism by fire for the first-year triumvirate, as the steep learning curve in college hockey forced them to adapt quickly.

“It was pretty difficult, obviously,” Bird said. “Guys are a lot older and more mature physically, so the speed of the game is unparalleled to prep school hockey. You have a lot less time on the puck and a lot less space, and it was pretty tough to adjust throughout the year.”

Their careers got off to an inauspicious start, as the Bears stumbled out of the gate. After losing their first seven games in conference play, the three first-years became frustrated with defeat and their lack of improvement.

“There were some low points,” Bird said. “In the middle of the season, I kind of plateaued and wasn’t really getting better.”

“It was definitely a bit frustrating in terms of points,” Willman said in reference to his offensive production. “I had around three, and that’s definitely a huge difference from the league that I had come from in years past.”

But after opening the year with his youngest players split up on different lines, Head Coach Brendan Whittet

’94 made the move to put the three on the same line behind the vaunted Lorito-Naclerio-Lappin front, and they began to improve as the year went on.

In the team’s second game against Princeton, Bird had a goal, Willman registered an assist and Lafferty chipped in with both.

“I just tried to stick with it and keep getting better,” Lafferty said.

“And by the end, we were relied on more and more.”

“It worked out well,” Willman said.

“We came from similar backgrounds.

We banded together off the ice, and that helped on the ice.”

The season came to a dramatic halt as — after winning four straight ECAC games towards the end of the regular season — the Bears were swept in the conference tournament by eventual champion Harvard.

The sophomores enter this season with a year of experience under their belts and a drive to make waves in the ECAC. “We know what to expect,” Bird said. “We can’t be shocked going into the games about how fast or good other players are. We know what they can bring, so we just have to think that we can do the same things they can and match them with our skill.”

“They’ve all looked better,” Naclerio said. “They are more confident with the puck and making good passes.”

“They all came back in great shape,” Whittet said. “They’ve all shown improvement, but we’ll continue to evaluate their progress dayto-day, and they’ll be very important moving forward.”

The offensive unit as a whole will need make up for Lorito’s departure, starting with the three sophomores.

Lorito “was a contributor on all parts of the ice,” Bird said, noting that he excelled on the penalty kill and the power play. “All three of us need to contribute in every area to fill in the

spots that he’s leaving us.”

“We definitely need to take on more of a leadership role,” Willman said. “He was a captain, and we have two returning captains this year, but leadership is definitely a big part of the locker room.”

After a season in which the Bears only managed five conference wins and eight total wins, the biggest area of improvement for the team will need to be its record if it wants to compete in the ECAC and nationally.

“For all three of us, our biggest goal is to just win a lot more than last year,” Bird said. “That was one of the toughest parts of the year, when we were on a three- or four-game losing streak and you’re just thinking ‘What else can be done?’”

Despite their success on the same line last year, the NHL draftees might not start the year playing together, though that is subject to change.

“Right now, we have it mixed up a little bit,” Whittet said. “We try to have guys together that can feed off each other, so right now they’re on different lines, but we’ll see how that goes.”

For now — despite the choices between going to the NHL and staying in college — these three are focused on winning here in Providence.

“My biggest concern is not after college,” Bird said. “It’s just what I can do this year to improve this team in the win column and what we can do to make each other better.”

“We just care about Brown, and we want to win right now,” Lafferty said.

For the Bears, early-season aspirations always revolve around counting trophies at the end of the year.

“Our goal, like every year, is to win championships,” Whittet said. Those championships would be the ECAC regular season title, the Cleary Cup for the ECAC conference tournament winning and a National Championship.

Three is the magic number.

SPORTS

PAGE 4 • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

ATHLETE OF THE WEEK

Murvitz-Lahav ’17 leads Bears over Dartmouth, Harvard to claim Ivy title Junior’s two hat tricks in two games boost Bruno over Harvard and Dartmouth

By TANEIL RUFFIN SENIOR STAFF WRITER

With an undefeated conference record and just three losses overall, the men’s water polo team traveled to Princeton this weekend to participate in the Ivy League Championships. The Bears (15-3, 8-0 CWPA) faced off against Dartmouth and Harvard in the semifinal and final contests, respectively, securing decisive victories against both to claim the 2015 Ivy title.

The win marked the second time Bruno has claimed the title since the tournament began in 2010 and the third time the Bears have defeated the Crimson this season. Following last weekend’s contests, Brown has overtaken Princeton in national rankings and now sits at 11th.

Yahel Murvitz-Lahav ’17 has been instrumental to the team’s efforts this season and especially this weekend. Murvitz-Lahav led Bruno in goals during the tournament, recording a hat trick in each of the tournament’s matches.

For his dominant performance at the Ivy League Championships, MurvitzLahav has been named The Herald’s Athlete of the Week.

Herald: When did you start playing water polo?

Murvitz-Lahav: When I was six, so almost 18 years ago.

What made you want to play?

I went to a swimming summer course and my instructor was a water polo player. He asked my parents if I wanted to

play, and they said that I wanted to.

What is your favorite part about being a member of Brown’s men’s water polo team?

It’s definitely the people. They’ve been my best friends since day one. Also it’s a good time during the week or during the day to take your mind off school and stress. It’s just you, your team and the game.

How did it feel to win the Ivy League title?

It was really fun. Last year we made it to the finals, but we lost. But this year we were able to win, and it was good. It’s not our biggest title of the year. We have two more: There’s the CWPA Northern Division Championship, and then if we win that, we go to the NCAA. But it’s definitely a nice small step to have on the way to bigger things.

What are your thoughts on the rest of the season?

I’m very excited. We have a very good team this year, and we have seen the competition, and I think we are more than capable of going at least as far as we did last year and hopefully making it to the final four.

What is training like?

It’s every day, on Tuesdays and Thursdays it’s twice a day. A lot of conditioning and a lot of shooting — working on teamwork. It’s fun.

Do you have any pregame rituals?

I listen to music. The song that I listened to for a very long time was “Snow” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but now I listen to an Israeli artist.

— This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

JOSH STERN / HERALD

Yahel Murvitz-Lahav ’17 is a member of the Israeli National Water Polo team. Last year, he was the secondhighest scoring player on the team, and he leads the team with 24 goals so far this season.

Follow Sports! @bdh_sports

TODAY

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015 • PAGE 5

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

menu

d e s t i n at i o n c o n c e n t r at i o n

SATELLITE DINING ANDREWS COMMONS

Pizzas: Bacon Cheeseburger, Buffalo Chicken, Harvest JOSIAH’S

BLUE ROOM

Made-to-Order Quesadillas

Clam Chowder Naked Burritos

DINING HALLS SHARPE REFECTORY LUNCH

DINNER

Macaroni and Cheese with Avocado and Tomato, Green Chili Chicken Enchilada

Gardein Breaded Chicken Parmesan, Slow-Roasted Pork Loin, Panettone Bread Pudding

VERNEY-WOOLLEY LUNCH

DINNER

Breaded Chicken Fingers, Enchilada Bar, Vegan Spicy Dahl, Sticky Rice, Blondie Bars

Tilapia with Provencale, Cavatelli Primavera, Orange Beef Pad Thai, Panettone Bread Pudding

sudoku

RELEASE DATE– Friday, October 23, 2015

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle c rNorris o s sandwJoyce o rNichols d Lewis Edited by Rich ACROSS 1 Locale of TV’s Krusty Krab restaurant 7 “The Hitch-Hiker” director Lupino 10 Meatless lasagna ingredient, perhaps 14 “I wanna go too!”

15 Presumed threats to letter carriers 17 “ ... according to my abilities” 18 Half, statistically 19 Familiar material, on the base?

21 __ loss 22 The Hammer of baseball 26 Backbone of capitalism, on the base?

31 Natural mole fur hue 33 Balm source 34 Hand analog 35 Fruity quaffs 36 “Actions speak louder than words,” e.g.

38 Short pooch, for short 39 It’s hardly a smash 40 Lowlands feature 41 __ metabolism 42 Disciplinary action, on the base?

46 Undemonstrative sort 47 Med. recording 48 Important find, on the base?

56 Cleaned, in a way 59 Lethargy cause 60 One assessing sentiment 61 Digital image format 62 It keeps the team together 63 Calculating 64 Studio equipment DOWN 1 Companion to Artemis 2 Simplicity 3 Related 4 2014 Best Rock Album Grammy winner

5 Spring (from) 6 Mean 7 Teen __ 8 “And there you have it!”

9 Old 10 Problem for a conductor wannabe 11 1930s-’40s slugger 12 Limited 13 Mil. morale booster 16 Oaf 20 Lacking color 23 Best for consumption, perhaps 24 Panasonic headquarters city 25 Staircase support 26 Southwestern community 27 No. twos 28 Perennial political debate subject 29 Priest in 1 Samuel 30 N.T. book written

by Paul 31 Soothing applications 32 Add to the family

36 “What a piece of work is a __!”: Hamlet 37 Legendary fighter 38 Broadway flier 40 Coins of old Venice 41 Colorful tropical perennial 43 Clearasil target 44 Guys 45 Mrs. Miller’s partner in a 1971 Altman film

49 Scribbles 50 Hamilton’s undoing 51 Modest sentence 52 November honorees 53 Rylan of “Guiding Light” 54 Currency of Iran 55 Doesn’t shut up 56 Le Carré figure 57 Ply with flowers and chocolate 58 JFK was one

ELI WHITE / HERALD

Sophomore and transfer students surveyed the various departmental offerings at the Concentration Fair Thursday in Sayles Hall. Brown offers 82 official concentrations in addition to letting students craft their own.

comic Cat Ears | Najatee’ McNeil ‘17

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Democracy in Africa Conference 8:45 A.M. Watson Institute, Joukowsky Forum

Production Workshop presents: 3C2C 2015!

8:00 P.M. T.F. Green, Production Workshop, Downspace

SATURDAY Garden Workday 10:00 A.M. Urban Environmental Lab

A Night on College Hill 9:00 P.M. Pembroke Field

SUNDAY Romeo and Juliet 2:00 P.M. Pell Chafee Performance Center

Bloco da Brown Drumming Practice 2:00 P.M. T.F. Green Hall

COMMENTARY PAGE 6 • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Brown Bites: Oct. 17–23

BY MARCY HUANG

These kids have it so easy Starting in fall 2016, applicants to Brown will no longer be required to submit the essay portion of the SAT or ACT. Not requiring students to take the essay will lower the price of the standardized tests, with the price of the SAT with and without the essay listed as $54.50 and $43, respectively. According to Steven Goodman, an education consultant and admission strategist at Top Colleges, the change “is like the strange uncle or aunt who comes into town for Thanksgiving and then moves away … and then all of a sudden we don’t have to deal with them any more. Good riddance.” We would have to give his extremely nuanced metaphor an 800.

Former student sues A former student in the class of 2017 is suing Brown for gender-based discrimination and violation of due process in a sexual misconduct hearing.

The man, referred to as John Doe in court documents, was suspended in November 2014 for two-and-a-half years after being found responsible for non-consensual sexual misconduct, sexual misconduct involving penetration, violent physical force or injury, and illegal possession or use of alcohol. John Doe is represented by litigator Andrew Miltenberg, who is also representing a man referred to as John Doe in a case against a female student whom John alleges falsely accused him of rape. Though Miltenberg declined to confirm the two John Does are the same student, the details of the two cases are almost identical, with the case against the female student describing a sexual assault at an “elite” university in Providence. John Doe alleges that the physical relations between him and the female student, referred to as Jane Doe, were consensual and that she claimed they were non-consensual because he ignored her at a party. Shortly after his accuser reported the incident to the University, John Doe was removed from campus. John Doe expressed concern that he faced gender discrimination during Brown’s disciplinary process.

All we do is win, win, win The only thing more exciting than the giant meatball you got with your parents on Federal Hill during Family Weekend was Brown football’s actionpacked 38-31 win over Princeton Saturday. Though the team’s lineup was riddled with injuries, the Bears trudged on with the help of the defensive line and electric All-Ivy kick returner Alex Jette ’17. The high-pressure game marked Bruno’s third consecutive win and first win in the Ivy League this season. Maybe we should start going to some football games — anybody know where the field is?

A N G E L IA WA N G

CORRECTION An article in Thursday’s Herald (“Task force to tackle learning deficits incurred over summer,” Oct. 22) misidentified Rhode Island’s chapter of a nonprofit Americorps program. It is City Year Providence, not City Year Rhode Island. The Herald regrets the error.

Q U O T E O F T H E D AY

“We like to take well-written songs and fuck them up as much as possible.”

— Alex Casnoff, vocalist and keyboardist of Harriet

See harriet on page 1.

The last lap The City Sports era on Thayer is coming to a close as the chain files for bankruptcy. The Thayer Street location is one of eight stores closing, and there are no plans to open another in Rhode Island. City Sports will be the fifth empty storefront on the main stretch of Thayer. Though we will always remember City Sports fondly for its water bottles and bike locks, at least now we have an excuse not to exercise.

Letters, please!

But we’re 21 at heart Precocious freshmen beware — undercover policemen have been spotted outside of three College Hill liquor stores: Spiritus, Madeira’s and Darwin’s.

One underage student, who was stopped by the Pro Po in September, was required to pay a fine and go to court. While the manager of Spiritus and the owner of Darwin’s are keeping fakes at bay with ID scanners, the manager of Madeira has declined to purchase a scanner, citing its expensive price and lack of accuracy. Sorry 20-year-olds: Looks like you’ll have to wait another few months.

letters@browndailyherald.com

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COMMENTARY FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015 • PAGE 7

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

Writing a wrong MILI MITRA opinions columnist

At first glance, the English literary world looks more diverse than ever. With new publishing houses and a wider audience, we have embraced authors from a range of cultures and backgrounds. In the last decade, minority writers like Junot Díaz and Jhumpa Lahiri have captured the imaginations of readers and critics alike. Alongside Jane Austen and Margaret Atwood, we now read Toni Morrison and Haruki Murakami. And just look at the list of Nobel Laureates in Literature: They come from countries as varied as India, China, Nigeria and Turkey.

It would be easy to assume that writers from all ethnicities are now on a level playing field.

Well, think again. These advancements only disguise the deeper truth: Minority writers are still struggling to get their voices heard over the tidal wave of homogeneity that pervades modern literature.

Over the summer, I stumbled upon a piece on the Washington Post’s “PostEverything” blog entitled, “I read books by only minority authors for a year. It showed me just how white our reading world is.” In the piece, the writer — an Australian lawyer and freelance columnist named Sunili Govinnage — describes her journey through 25 books written by minority authors from all around the world. She argues that our contemporary reading culture still systematically excludes a range of diverse perspectives — an idea that initially took me aback.

But as I thought more about Govin-

nage’s reasoning, I began to see the truth in her words. Yes, there are some standout examples of minority novelists who have broken through the glass ceiling and taken the literary world by storm, but even a cursory glance at the statistics will show that they are few and far between. Of the 124 authors who appeared on the New York Times Bestseller List in 2012, just three came from minority backgrounds. To put that in perspective, that works out to a staggeringly low 2.4 percent.

writers have won the prestigious award in the last 46 years. In the United States, only three have won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction since the turn of the millennium. I am not citing these figures to condemn the prizes or the selection committees. I am simply arguing that minority authors face a range of unique struggles, particularly in terms of how their writing is received.

This year, a report in the United Kingdom found that the framework of the publishing

Recent advancements only disguise the deeper truth: Minority writers are still struggling to get their voices heard over the tidal wave of homogeneity that pervades modern literature.

Likewise, a 2012 study discovered that only 12 percent of books reviewed by the New York Times were written by minorities.

Of course, the New York Times isn’t a definitive reflection of our reading world. It is nonetheless telling that one of the most influential and widely read newspapers in the country has consistently overlooked the works of minority authors.

Even the world of literary prizes shows bias. Marlon James of Jamaica may have deservedly won the Man Booker Prize last week for “A Brief History of Seven Killings,” but triumphs like his are rare. Only six minority

industry pushed writers to adhere to stereotypes. Several interviewed novelists believed they were pigeonholed into writing about certain plot lines or themes. These same writers ran the risk of being rejected by publishers if they strove to find a more original angle.

As the award-winning Nigerian novelist Ben Okri described in a 2014 column in the Guardian, minority writers are especially well-received when they write about the “minority experience.” Their works gain special notice when they focus on themes like slavery, oppression, violence and colonialism.

Admittedly, these are all hard-hitting, rele-

vant topics that need to be addressed. Some of my favorite books tackle this challenging subject matter: “Beloved,” “Between the World and Me” and “The God of Small Things” are just some of the books that come to mind. But minority writers should not be constrained by these themes or parameters. After all, they are entitled to the same creative freedom given to whites, who most certainly are not restricted in their choice of themes.

Unfortunately, many publishing houses seem to think differently. PP Wong, a British writer of Chinese origin, has written about how one publisher rejected her manuscript because it had already signed an Asian author. This reasoning would never be applied to a white writer. It seems that minority authors are now being typecast, just as they often are in films and television.

So what can be done to improve the diversity of our bookshelves and libraries? It is obvious that the publishing industry needs a fundamental transformation. It has to become more representative and open to different perspectives. Ideally, the impetus for such a change should come from the readers themselves. I would never recommend following Govinnage’s lead and foregoing books by white authors — there are some wonderful novels written by these writers that deserve to be read. But at the same time, we should actively strive to expand our literary horizons.

So if you get the chance, pick up a book or two by a minority author. You might feel as captivated as I was at their depth, range and sheer power.

Mili Mitra ’18 can be reached at mili_mitra@brown.edu.

Halloween and horror AMEER MALIK opinions columnist

Halloween is almost here, and as the holiday that I have loved since I was a small child approaches, I am excited by the sweet candy, scary movies and smiling jack-o’-lanterns that await. The fact that festivities begin at Brown a whole week earlier than the actual holiday thanks to Halloweek is icing on the hauntedhouse-themed cake.

But despite my excitement, I wonder if there is something behind the parties and the paper decorations of ghosts and bats hanging from the ceilings. After all, even some of the most commercialized holidays, such as Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, have valuable themes. Behind the cheesy cards and fancy dinners of Valentine’s Day lies a celebration of romantic love. Take the televised musical performances and countdown to midnight away from New Year’s Eve, and you still have a day for reflecting on the past and making plans for the future. So is there a point to Halloween?

Maybe history could help us. According to a piece written by folklorist Jack Santino on the American Folklife Center’s website, “Halloween had its beginnings in an an-

cient, pre-Christian Celtic festival of the dead.” Santino explains that this festival was called Samhain and states, “The Celts believed that at the time of Samhain, more so than any other time of the year, the ghosts of the dead were able to mingle with the living, because at Samhain the souls of those who had died during the year traveled into the otherworld.” Santino further explains that

interesting idea: the possibility that Halloween might have come from a holiday in which people confronted what they found to be scary.

Horror is woven into the fabric of Halloween. Bats and ghosts, even if they are represented as mere paper decorations, are creepy, and the jack-o’-lanterns with goofy faces are still uncanny. And horror — whether it takes the form of a story spoken

are secure, such as a home you share with a loved one, you are not safe.

This message is unfortunately true; each night, we can’t guarantee that someone won’t invade our home and try to hurt us as we sleep.

Horror derives its strength from its power to remind us of our fears, but it simultaneously helps us grapple with what we are afraid of by using mythical or paranormal rep-

Horror derives its strength from reminding us about our fears, but it simultaneously helps us grapple with what we are afraid of by using mythical or paranormal representations.

those who observed the holiday “lit bonfires in honor of the dead to aid them on their journey and to keep them away from the living” and that during Samhain, “all manner of beings were abroad: ghosts, fairies and demons — all part of the dark and dread.”

An article in Live Science last year states that Nicholas Rogers, professor of history at York University, has an alternative interpretation of Samhain. But whether or not Santino’s description is accurate, it reveals an

around a campfire, a novel featuring zombies and werewolves or a movie about demonic possession — carries a useful function. Horror allows us to confront and overcome what scares us.

Take the “Paranormal Activity” movie series, which has become a staple of Halloween in the last few years, as an illustrative example.

While I haven’t seen the sequels, I think the first one is quite scary, for it holds a dark message at its center: Even in a place where you think you

resentations. The threat of a home invasion is terrifyingly realistic; therefore, horror stories have ghosts haunt people in their homes. Legends of werewolves roaming the woods serve as warnings for us to be careful of real sources of injury, such as rough terrain and animals, when traveling at night. The best examples of zombie fiction remind us that people can unleash the worst aspects of themselves when confronted with a major crisis. These representations of our true fears, shown through the

genre of horror, allow us to confront difficult realities more easily.

By confronting scary truths through the representations in horror, we can overcome them. If we listen to a story or watch a movie in which scary occurrences plague the characters, we feel scared, too.

But when the story is over, whether or not the characters have made it through their ordeals, we have survived, and we may feel less afraid as a result. Horror therefore is a useful tool for us to deal with the scary realities of this world, from immediate threats such as violence and illness to situations beyond our individual capabilities, such as nuclear war and the destruction of the environment.

If we do not overcome these fears, we will be paralyzed and unable to proceed through life.

At its heart, Halloween can remind us that there are reasons to be afraid in life but that we can overcome what’s scary and celebrate and enjoy ourselves. So this year, keep your fears and nightmares at the very back of your mind. They might make the parties more fun and the candy even sweeter.

Happy Halloweek.

Ameer Malik ’18 is going to try not to feel too scared this Halloween. He can be reached at ameer_malik@brown.edu.

SPORTS COMMENTARY THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2015

A young man’s game

BY MIKE FIRN sports columnist

When I was 10 years old, I found my life’s calling: I was going to grow up to become a professional baseball player, as I matter-of-factly stated in my fifthgrade yearbook. Every occupation other than shortstop for the Red Sox just seemed trivial. In my mind, I was the logical choice to succeed Nomar Garciaparra at Fenway Park — I wore number five in Little League, I fiddled endlessly with my batting gloves and I practiced taking grounders every day in the back yard. I just needed to wait patiently until I was a little older.

Now that I am a little older, the dream doesn’t feel so real. And with each passing Bryce Harper homer and on-campus interview, it fades even further. It’s a weird and disheartening milestone in the life of a sport fan when he grows older than the athletes he reveres. With that in mind, here’s a list of depressingly young phenoms in each sport to remind you that low league intramural flag football will probably constitute the peak of your athletic career.

Major League Baseball Youngest active player: Roberto Osuna, age 20 (born Feb. 7, 1995) Youngest stud: Bryce Harper, age 23 (born Oct. 16, 1992) Osuna, a hard-throwing relief pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, stepped up as the Jays’ closer over the summer and

helped propel the team to an American League Championship Series appearance. Meanwhile, his contemporaries at Brown frantically changed concentrations for the millionth time in advance of their junior years. Harper, on the other hand, seems likely to collect his first MVP trophy in his age-22 season.

I still have a year to match him.

National Basketball Association Youngest active player: Devin Booker, age 18 (born Oct. 30, 1996) Youngest stud: Andrew Wiggins, age 20 (born Feb. 23, 1995) Booker checks in as the youngest rookie on an NBA roster after being selected 13th overall by the Phoenix Suns in June’s NBA draft. Like Booker, Wiggins played just one year of college ball before bolting to the pros and running away with Rookie of the Year honors last season. At age 20, however, Wiggins remains legally unable to properly celebrate his achievement.

National Football League Youngest active player: Danielle Hunter, age 20 (born Oct. 29, 1994) Youngest stud: tie between Marcus Mariota, age 21 (born Oct. 30, 1993), and Todd Gurley, age 21 (born Aug. 3, 1994) When Hunter was born, Adam Vinatieri — the league’s 42-year-old elder statesman — was kicking field goals for the Amsterdam Admirals in Europe’s now-defunct World League of American Football. Meanwhile, Mariota and Gurley both look every bit like future NFL stars just one year removed from college dorm life.

National Hockey League Youngest active player: Daniel Sprong, age 18 (born Mar. 17, 1997) Youngest stud: tie between Connor McDavid, age 18 (born Jan. 13, 1997), and Jack Eichel, age 18 (born Oct. 28, 1996) 1997! Sprong, McDavid and Eichel probably aren’t even done growing, yet they make a living absorbing brutal hits from some of the toughest men in professional sports. McDavid and Eichel, the first and second picks in the 2015 NHL draft, respectively, are particularly precocious on the ice. It remains to be seen, however, whether they can grow adequate playoff beards.

Professional Golf Association Youngest active player: Cole Hammer, age 16 (born Aug. 28, 1999) Youngest stud: Jordan Spieth, age 22 (born Jul. 27, 1993) Though he doesn’t have his tour card, Cole Hammer was the youngest player to participate in a PGA event this past season when he teed it up with the big boys at the U.S. Open. Tiger Woods had already won two major championships before Hammer had even been born. Jordan Spieth, at the age of 22, has two major trophies of his own. Golf ’s next “Great One” looks poised to lead the PGA’s youth movement for years to come.

Not all of these guys may be younger than you, but they do represent an inevitable inflection point in every sports fan’s life. You age, and they don’t.

The athletes used to represent what you wanted to be. Now, they represent what you can’t be. It’s a little eerie.

MIKE FIRN / HERALD

As a child, Mike Firn ’16 had lofty aspirations of being one of the athletes of tomorrow. Now, the athletes of today make him feel old.

Obviously, I’m being ridiculous. The dream lives!

No18- to 22-year-old is past his or her prime. The world is wide open for everyone at Brown. But if consulting Mike Firn ’16 keeps getting olddoesn’t work out and your contingency er and they stay the same age plan is still to play in the MLB, take … Yes they do, yes they do. Consome solace in the 1999 professional tact him at debut of 35-year-old rookie Jim Morris. michael_firn@brown.edu.

The far-too-brief NBA preview: The Atlantic/Central divisions

BY JOE DIEHL sports columnist

A new season of the NBA is upon us.

This week, I’ll preview the Atlantic and Central divisions of the East, the conference equivalent of Goose to the Western Conference’s Maverick, if you will. I’ll rank the order that I think each team will finish in its division and include a best-case scenario, worst-case scenario and bold prediction for each squad with Hemingway-like efficiency.

Atlantic Division 1. Toronto Raptors Best-case scenario: DeMarre Carroll continues his rise from forgotten role player to prominent starter, giving the offense newfound fluidity and an edge on defense. The men from up north advance to the second round before succumbing to King James.

Worst-case scenario: Jonas Valanciunas becomes an archaic big in the modern NBA, Kyle Lowry sprains his ankle three more times and half the team tries out for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Bold prediction: DeMar DeRozan averages over 23 points per game, but the Raptors lose in the first round.

Pretty average season, eh?

2. Boston Celtics Best-case scenario: David Lee immediately improves the flow on offense,

Marcus Smart continues to grow and the young Celtics upset one of the topfour East teams in the first round.

Worst-case scenario: Coach Brad Stevens relies too heavily on Lee and Evan Turner, none of the rookies contribute and Jared Sullinger breaks his back.

Bold prediction: The Celtics, struggling to remain in the playoff picture, trade their young assets for a disgruntled superstar. They still lose in the first round.

lottery.

make it to the NBA finals.

5. Philadelphia 76ers Best-case scenario: Jahlil Okafor is the rookie of the year and the Sixers sail their way to the number one overall pick.

Worst-case scenario: Philly stinks its way to the bottom, only for its pick to land outside the top three.

Bold prediction: The 76ers don’t begin a single game with five NBAcaliber players.

3. New York Knicks Best-case scenario: Kristaps Porzingis becomes the Baby Dirk everyone wants him to be, and people finally are able to identify Latvia on a map.

Worst-case scenario: Kristaps plays like a 19-year-old and Derek Fisher continues to have no idea what he’s doing.

Bold prediction: Despite a decidedly inferior roster, the triangle offense shows some life, and the Knicks leapfrog the Nets in the division.

Five things I want to see 1. Drake makes a song called “Kyle Lowry” with the lyrics “Ballin like Kyle Lowry. Married to the game — no dowry.” He dances with a basketball in front of a green screen for the music video.

2. Robin Lopez and Brook Lopez trade places for the Nets-Knicks game.

3. Kristaps Porzingis sprays champagne in a club. Bonus points for 1 Oak. 4. The 76ers lose every game.

5. Marcus Smart lives up to his last name.

2. Chicago Bulls Best-case scenario: Derrick Rose comes roaring back into MVP form, Jimmy Butler expands his game and new coach Fred Hoiberg figures out how to get that offense flowing. A trip to the NBA finals is in store.

Worst-case scenario: Rose and Joakim Noah both break down, Pau Gasol can’t contribute enough on offense and the Bulls exit in the second round.

Bold prediction: Rose posts a career-low PER and falls off the radar of elite point guards. The Bulls still advance to the Eastern Conference finals for a showdown with the Cavs.

4. Brooklyn Nets Best-case scenario: There isn’t really one. The season flies by and the fans begin looking forward to next year’s critical season.

Worst-case scenario: Mikhail Prokhorov relocates the team to Moscow. Brook Lopez becomes a highranking KGB official.

Bold prediction: Shane Larkin becomes the starter at point guard before the season, en route to a trip to the

Central Division 1. Cleveland Cavaliers Best-case scenario: The offensive chemistry reaches new heights, and Tristan Thompson wins the Sixth Man of the Year award en route to Cleveland’s first sports championship in forever.

Worst-case scenario: LeBron dies.

Bold prediction: The Cavs don’t

3. Milwaukee Bucks Best-case scenario: Jabari Parker and Giannis Antetokounmpo become stars, and the Bucks advance to the second round.

Worst-case scenario: Jason Kidd takes the young kids to a local bar.

Half of the team has never consumed alcohol before and decides to pursue a life of vice following this experience.

Bold prediction: The Bucks upset one of the elite teams in the first round and take the Cavs to seven games in the next.

4. Detroit Pistons Best-case scenario: The Pistons decide not to suck for a season.

Worst-case scenario: The Pistons continue to suck for another season.

Bold prediction: The Pistons

improve to somewhere between mediocre and acceptable.

5. Indiana Pacers Best-case scenario: Paul George recovers from last year’s season-ending leg injury to become a superstar, and the new philosophy of small-ball prevails.

Worst-case scenario: Larry Bird’s personnel experiment fails, and the fans begin calling for Roy Hibbert’s return.

Bold prediction: Jordan Hill and Miles Turner struggle at center, Paul George refuses to play power forward and the Pacers blow their roster up.

Five things I want to see 1. Stan Van Gundy screams “FORM A FUCKING WALL” to his players as a new Wendy’s opens for business across the street.

2. Dougie McBuckets gets some minutes. Don’t let him turn into the next Jimmer, Fred!

3. Brandon Jennings and Reggie Jackson compete in the “who can chuck more long-twos” contest.

4. Jabari Parker averages 20 points a game.

5. Cleveland finally wins a championship (Well, kind of. I’ll be lukewarmly excited).

Joe Diehl ’18 is Drake’s ghostwriter. Ask him how “Views from the 6” is going at joseph_diel@brown.edu.