caroline
knows WITH CAROLINE ST CLAIR
Dear Caroline,
“The bright and vivacious Marina Diamandis has an album filled with smart and spectacular, self-penned, should-be hits.” THE FADER “…she’s redefining songs about coming of age, and the aftermath, with bluntness and crafty intelligence.” THE NEW YORK TIMES
The Family Jewels Featuring HOLLYWOOD & I AM NOT A ROBOT Available Now marinaandthediamonds.com
A good friend of mine—we’ll call her Amanda--has recently started dating a guy she met at her gym. She seems pretty into him so this should be a good thing…except, well, me and most of our friends can’t STAND this guy. He is a total douchebag in every way: he’s critical of Amanda and manages to say offensive things to her and us when he is in our company. When she is with him she acts like a completely different person which just makes everyone uncomfortable. Amanda is the most honest, sweet person you will ever meet but this guy is always accusing her of being flirtatious with other men (she’s not flirting, she’s just being friendly) and he has told her he doesn’t like the way she dresses. We all love Amanda and feel that she (and we!) deserve so much better but it doesn’t look like she will be breaking up with him anytime soon. Should we plan a “boyfriend intervention” to get her away from this jerk? --Love the Friend, Hate the Boyfirend Dear Love the Friend, Hate the Boyfriend, It is absolutely impossible to live in our ultra-intermingled society without having to rub shoulders with someone you hate. And when that person is the significant other of a close friend it can be brutal. Aside from going the whole kidnapping-deprogramming route (which while quite effective can be messy, expensive, and is probably illegal) there’s no way to really force a break up. You don’t want your friend to get offended by your criticisms and start thinking of YOU as the enemy to her/his happiness—even if it is totally obvious that said relationship is doomed to fail in the long run. At this point Amanda is still probably in the early throes of rose-colored romance, and those pink lenses can really make someone blind to their paramour’s true character. But those roses will eventually start to fade…and unless your friend is a masochist she will start to realize that her boyfriend really is, well, a douchebag. Chances are good that she will then give him the boot and everyone will be happy—the evil creep is gone you will have your beloved friend back! However if you harangue Amanda about how awful you and 35 the rest of the group think boyfriend is you will only make her protective of him…and that will slow the natural process of her figuring all this out on her own. Just give it some time, still try to be a good friend, and let douchebag do the job of getting his own butt kicked to the curb. Got a question only Caroline would know how to answer? Write her at info@brinkmagonline.com 34