7 minute read
Heart of a Mentor
The Heart of a Mentor
by Art Arreola
A good mentor provides us with a clear and distinct advantage. They offer experience, insight, encouragement, and inspiration personally designed to help us grow. Mentors can be specifically trained or gifted in a given area, like a coach or teacher. They can be experts on a subject and sought out for their knowledge and ability to train, prepare, and inspire us. They can help develop our business and sales skills so we can be more productive in our careers. Used as guide or life coach, they can teach us to prioritize and think better for personal development. Whether it is a golf swing or to simply ace that test, nail the interview, or to help us develop a personal growth strategy, mentors are there for us. They see things we can’t see and offer us unique perspectives that can then be applied to the challenges we face each day.
As you can imagine, mentors come in a variety of forms, therefore, they can help us in a variety of ways. They partner with us and develop our hidden potential into outward results. Where possible, they can work one-onone with the mentee or be accessed through social media, books, blogs, podcasts, seminars, etc. My very first mentor was just a kind and caring man who happened to drive the street sweeper and garbage truck for the city where I grew up. We would hear the roar of the engine coming down the street as we played in the yard on a hot summer day. Some days he would pull up by the curb and slowly make his way down from the sweeper with a toy he found discarded and fixed in his spare time. My brother and I got our first bicycles from this thoughtful and caring man. Like him, the heart of the common mentor desires to invest in his or her neighbor something of great value. Mentors are builders within their communities who invest in others. Each mentee is like a building block that is shaped and molded with the mentor’s guidance.
In this brief article, we will take a closer look at the “Life Coach Mentor” and the special relationship and bond that develops as a result. At the heart of a good life coach mentor is the evidence of character and integrity. This mentor will ultimately help bring out and shape new attitudes, perspectives, and beliefs within the mentee.
Often, the mentee will need to change their thinking and overcome fear and doubt to arrive at their destination.
That said, there is an obvious sense of vulnerability required at each step in the process. We will cover what to look for when selecting a life coach mentor in just a moment. The very best mentors use a combination of tools and disciplines. They have the ability to watch and listen carefully to see where their mentee is and then help them go where they want to go. Like a map in the mall or on a busy street that states, “You are here,” we first have to know where we are in order to get to where we want to go. The best life coaches are skillful listeners first before they can begin to offer direction. Once there is clarity on where we are, we can begin to map out where and how we are going forward. It is very important that both parties are in agreement on the end result so there is harmony, clarity, and accountability. There are golf swing coaches and mentors who have never won a Master’s tournament, yet they have an amazing gift and ability to teach and ultimately influence someone to go somewhere they would never have gone otherwise. However, when selecting a life coach mentor, you’ll want to find someone who has been there and hopefully beyond. These mentors lead and guide through example and intuition. They share their own journey, testimonials, and insight along the way. They work closely with the mentee on a very personal level, and therefore have a unique opportunity to shape their thoughts and perspectives in powerful ways. It is always the responsibility of the mentee to know where they want to go and to be an integral part of the process every step of the way. The mentor serves as the guide and navigator. Good mentors do not solve our problems— they artfully use them in the creative process.
It is not the role of the mentor to tell us what to do or how to do it. A skillful mentor helps us think though the problem, clearly identify it, and consider all possible options and outcomes.
They build on our ability to process and observe from multiple perspectives to determine the best solutions available.
They train us to think in creative ways and abandon old solutions for new ones. A mentor will teach us the difference between scarcity and abundant mindsets. They challenge us from within so we can see and face our bias and limitations as opportunity for improvement. Redefining failure, the mentor will use it as a means to improve our approach and technique. They know that how we view things will ultimately determine how we’ll do things. They, too, have been mentored and understand the power of mindset and bad habits. Their patience and personal experience will be utilized as a means of transportation. Visualization and metaphor are common techniques they will apply to get the mentee to see things from another view and decide to use that skill routinely. My mentor and teacher John Maxwell says, “What I believe about life determines how I perceive life, which determines what I receive from life.” These are very powerful words that have shaped my own perceptions. Another common technique often used by good mentors is the counterintuitive process where what is normal, logical, or believed to be true is then contradicted and challenged in order to see things in new ways. Seeing things in new ways becomes the new norm. Finally, it cannot be overstated that the mentor provides us with a clear and distinct advantage. They teach us to see things already within us and to develop our unique perspectives through the challenges we encounter every day. They train us to think creatively by design and to abandon faulty beliefs and self-defeating patterns. We take from them confidence and competence through new experience, observation, reflection, and application. They serve as a map and a guide to illustrate where we are. Using a variety of applications to shape how we view ourselves and the world around us, they enable us to intelligently take on greater risk and reap the rewards. These motivational teachers are willing and able to use their time and talents to take us places we could never go alone.
“When you give your best effort you may not always be successful, but you will always be fulfilled.” –John Maxwell. A mentor will help us design a personal growth plan and a strategy for personal development throughout our lives, thus giving us life skills that cannot be acquired through any other means. In time and with practice, we learn to roll up our sleeves, mentally, and embrace failure and challenges as a means to grow and apply new ways to think and overcome. We learn how to glean from others and add value to ourselves—taking progressive steps that in time become quantum leaps. Mentors make a personal investment in us and help give back something meaningful and practical to the world around them. “To whom much is given, much will be required.” Luke 12:48
ART ARREOLA
Art is a certified Coach, Trainer, and Speaker through the John C Maxwell Certification Program. He has served as a mentor with the Craig School of Business, California State University, Fresno the past 14 years. He serves as the Team Lead in the Divorce Care Program at his church. As a Division Manager with the County of Tulare, he focuses on staff development and customer service.
ASK KATIE
Confidence is difficult as a 14 year-old trying to find my identity and acceptance. As a teen I want nothing more than to be independent, making my own decisions and building the life I dream of. Like me all teens seek independence and strive to be on their own, confidence is the key ingredient to that successful path. Confidence fosters growth and is the force that motivates individuals to aspire to things greater than themselves. My inner confidence presents itself when I establish goals and work hard to achieve them. My success in achieving those goals increases my confidence giving me the motivation I need to reach a little farther. With every accomplishment confidence grows fueling my inner drive to shoot for the stars.
