BrandMe! Spotlight - January 2020

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developing authenticity & personal impact Nina Grunfeld Owner & CEO of LifeClubs

developing authenticity & personal impact Most of her life Nina felt under-confident, not good enough, an outsider. Through exploring personal development her self-esteem grew, and she saw how she could help others by creating holistic workshops where those in the group helped each other. In the past fifteen years, alongside running LifeClubs she’s written four self-development books and had columns in The Daily Telegraph, HR and Psychologies Magazines.

I was born into an England where anyone that had the same wild black frizz of hair as me, stuck out. I could never ‘fit in’ and was always acutely aware of being ‘different’, which I so desperately didn’t want to be. But, when I was younger, ‘authentic’ was the opposite of fake (antique furniture) and ‘impact’ was what happened when your car hit theirs, so there was no word I could use to understand why I felt so different and to realise that there was a way that I could be me and proud of it.

I’ve always loved clothes and in my 20’s, working as a graphic designer, would dress either vintage or designer black. But even then, I used to worry about what to wear whenever I had to go somewhere special or meet new people. I desperately wanted everyone to like me and felt that dressing to fit in with them and what they were wearing would help me to win them over. Not a fool proof idea. I wouldn’t recommend it!

One occasion where I felt more out of place than ever was at my fatherin-law’s funeral. This lovely man had died a few days before my first child was born and his funeral was shortly after the birth.

On the day of the funeral it became apparent that my mother-in-law didn’t think my sartorial choices were appropriate. She took me aside and said ‘I’ve bought you something to wear for the occasion,’ handing me one of the most hideous dresses I have ever seen. A frumpy brown shirt-waister with a large blue pattern on it. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at my husband for support but we both knew my mother-in-law was so distraught I had to wear that dress. That day was awful. I felt uncomfortable, wrong and hideous, as if the real ‘me’ had been hidden somewhere deep away. A low point in being unauthentic to me.

Rebels are bold and confident. It made a huge difference. With each event I had to go to, I would simply ask my Rebel alter ego what I should wear and they would say ‘wear what you want - whatever you feel comfortable in’. It was liberating.

embracing the rebel in me

Suddenly I didn’t give a damn about what anyone thought about my hair or my outfit, I went hand in hand with my Rebel and looked and felt like me. Authentic.

In my late forties I got heavily involved in self-development and learnt (and am still learning) an awful lot about myself.

Of course, it took me a while to trust my Rebel. Could I really go to the State Opening of Parliament in trousers? ‘Yes’, said my Rebel and I was showered in compliments. It felt good.

I came across a list of Jung’s twelve classic archetypes (Caregiver, Creator, Everyday boy/girl, Explorer, Hero, Innocent, Jester, Lover, Magician, Rebel, Ruler and Sage). I found them eye-opening. and I knew immediately I was a Rebel!

At that moment, everything fell into place, including my personal impact. Being a Rebel meant that I could dress how I wanted and suddenly felt confident enough to do so. After all, rebels don’t care what others think. Rebels are happy to meet, and face up to people, who don’t agree with them.

Time after time I noticed that by dressing and acting like the rebel I am, others appreciated my authenticity and I became more and more confident and wore wilder and wilder clothes. I started saying what I thought more often, happy to be a bit rebellious if that was what was wanted.

That seemed to work too.

BrandMe! Spotlight Interview: January 2020

It’s simple to use your archetype whether you’re a Rebel or not. An HR colleague and I were talking about a second interview she was about to have for a new role. She was going to be giving a talk and had been planning on wearing a dark suit. She decided that her archetype was a Lover and that a Lover wouldn’t be wearing a dark suit, but a softer dress, probably the powder blue one she owned.

A Lover would aim to woo their future colleagues and get them involved in the presentation, rather than handing out information. She went as her authentic self and got the job.

We use archetypes a lot, both in our local club workshops and in with our corporate clients, because once you dress and act to match your archetype and feel confident about doing so, you’re being authentic and you come across as far stronger and far more genuine and congruent.

Not all of us need our archetype to help us create personal impact, but if you’re feeling under-confident, it’s a great way to start. I only wish I’d known about my archetype before my father-in-law died.

LifeClubs.com

YourLifeClubs

Photograph by Ursula Underhill

LifeClubs

LifeClubs

Join Nina for her monthly self awareness workshops, offering a warm and welcoming space to help you get more out of life!

Address: Smith Square, Westminster, SW1P 3HS Price: From £35 / Workshop hello@lifeclubs.co.uk +44 (0) 207 22 22 199 lifeclubs.com To find the club nearest you, please look at lifeclubs.com (Local Clubs)

BrandMe! Spotlight Interview: January 2020

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