Piece O'
Cake! Celebrating Two Sweet Years
« Garcelle Beauvais' New Book « Dive into Dolphin Cove « Glama Mama Loni Jones .
Fall Issue 2014 • Vol.1 Issue 9
J$700 • EC$22 • US$8 • £5
THE CARIBBEAN'S PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE • WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM
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BEACHES RESORTS’ CARIBBEAN ADVENTURE WITH SESAME STREET ®
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YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY LIKE THIS! .
Beaches Resorts, in Jamaica and Turks & Caicos, are celebrating ten years of ‘sunny days’ in partnership with Sesame Street ® . Now in addition to spectacular accommodations, up to 19 specialty restaurants, and unlimited land and water sports, families will partake in new and exciting activities incorporated into The Caribbean Adventure with Sesame Street ® . From a brand-new character stage show and a Sesame Street Carnival Celebration parade to Sesame Street Puppet Making and Artist Workshops†, Beaches gives families the ultimate Caribbean Luxury Included® Vacation with more ways to connect, learn, and have fun together. Come join the party!
TO PLAN YOUR VACATION TO THE WORLD’S LEADING ALL-INCLUSIVE FAMILY RESORTS, CALL 1-888-BEACHES, VISIT BEACHES.COM, OR CONTACT YOUR TRAVEL AGENT †
Sesame Street Puppet Making and Artist Workshops take place Sept. 1 - Oct. 31, 2014. Beaches® is a registered trademark. Unique Vacations, Inc. is the affiliate of the worldwide representative of Beaches Resorts.
FALL ISSUE 2014
BUMP 16 QUICK FIX WITH M.A.C. Even Skin Tone Solution
18 THE FIRST BEAT OF MY SECOND HEART The Moment Mom Falls In Love
20 SWEET RELIEF
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Easing Pregnancy Discomforts
24 BLISSFUL PARENTING Parenting with Elena Diedrick-Lynch
26 PRENATAL AQUATICS Dive Into Fun Fitness
30 TO HAVE OR HAVE NOT: A BABY ...That is the Question!
34 B3 MD Our Resident Ob Gyn Dr. Thea Davis, Answers Your Pregnancy-Related Questions
BABY 38 BREAST-FEEDING HOW-TO Internationally-Acclaimed Brand Lansinoh Shares Top Tips For Nursing Mothers
40 WHEN BREASTFEEDING FAILS Help When You Need It Most From Lactation Consultant Violet Griffith
42 GLAMA MAMA Make-Up Artist Loni Jones Does DoubleDuty
50 ISLAND RIDES Our Top Choices For A Caribbean Stroll
54 WHAT’S THE BIB DEAL? Cute & Functional Baby Bibs
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56Sweet Celebrations Time to Celebrate! COVER STORY
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FALL ISSUE 2014
74 26 .
ON THE COVER Cover : B3's 2nd Birthday Cake.
84 70
Designer : Sugar Artist Camille Flimn Photography: Dwayne Watkins
BEYOND 70 I SCREAM FOR SOY CREAM
94 IN SEARCH OF ME TIME
118 B3 COMMUNITY – CKFTO
A Sweet Alternative
Time For Mom to WooooSaaah!
72 B3 BOOKS
96 SEX & THE SINGLE MOM
Trinidad Making Strides With Therapy For Children
Help For Moms Doing It All!
Single and Sexually Satisfied? For Real???
74 I AM LIVING IN 2 HOMES
100 THE STORK DID IT
Exclusive Interview with Garcelle Beauvais on Her New Children’s Book
Mommy, Where Did I Come From?
75 BACK TO SCHOOL SYNDROME
One Mother’s Challenge With TV Influence
Tips to Help You Survive the New School Year
84 B3 EXPLORE – DOLPHIN COVE A Fun Day Out at Jamaica’s Number 1 Aquatic Attraction
90 B3 ESCAPE – ST. JAMES CLUB MORGAN BAY Visit a Great Family Getaway Destination in St. Lucia FA L L I S S U E 2 0 1 4
104 WHEN JESSIE CONQUERED DORA 106 THE MAGIC OF FLOWERS Beautify Your Home, Beautify Your Life
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110 B3 BEEP BEEP Ford Fits Your Family
116 KIDS WILL BE KIDS With Dr. Lisa Franklin-Banton, M.B;B.S., D.M. (Paediatrics) WWW.B3CARIBBEANMAGAZINE.COM
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Editor's NOTE
A
s far back as I can remember I’ve loved to write. While I spent many years doing anything but, my mother would always encourage me to use my gift. It took a while, but now several years later, my writing gives me reason to celebrate. B3 Caribbean Magazine is 2 years old! It has been our privilege to share with you in each issue, the resources, ideas and stories that impact our journey as parents in one way or another. Today, more than ever, Caribbean parents have so many reasons to celebrate the strides that we have made in fashioning a generation that is more prepared for tomorrow than any other previously. We have little choice actually; technology today is forcing us to keep up-to-date if we wish to maintain relevant to our children. So instead of resisting it, let’s celebrate it. We’re celebrating two years of revolutionary lifestyle changes in how we view parenting. Just like your child’s second birthday, we’re celebrating the small milestones that chronicle a baby in arms, completely dependent on his mother, to an active toddler, exploring everything around and eager to conquer the world. Each issue acknowledges the care and support of those who love us, and shares with you our readers, the tools to equip you for parenting success. We’re celebrating in sweet (and tasty) style - 9 quarterly issues of steadfast improvement and growth – each prefaced with the anticipation of the next; the next issue, the next few issues and ultimately the next few years. As you enjoy our birthday issue of Sweet Celebrations, celebrate with us the far-reaching effect of the Caribbean mother, who regardless of where she lives, applies the teachings and truths of her island heritage in raising her children in a global village. Haiti’s shining star Garcelle Beauvais shares with us the joys of her writing through her new book for children that is paving the way for young ones facing the complexities of living in today’s modern broken home – a reality for so many here in the Caribbean, and far away in other lands. Her interview is on page 74.
Celebrate the beautiful children who are conquering hurdles of disabilities through innovative and effective therapy in Trinidad on page 116.Celebrate the beauty of our local destinations that continue to provide premium attractions and accommodations for families. And without hesitation, celebrate how to celebrate! Our ‘sweet’ cover heralds our indulgence in celebrating big and bold for our 2nd. Sensational Jamaican Sugar Artist and Momtrepreneur Camille Flimn, pulled out all the stops in creating a cake worth celebrating! Read more on page 56 then head further on in and we’ll give you ideas and advice on the ins and outs of making your next celebration a sweet one! Enjoy another issue…it’s a sweet read!
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Editor-in-Chief
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Birthday Cake Smash! And I spent all that time on makeup. Oh well
Come Kimmi, we missed a spot
I love it when a plan comes together!
we better have more cake to eat after this
This is gonna be one 'sweet' pic!
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Not what I had in mind for the team picture!
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Anniversary Throwback #2012 Chinese Taoist Philosopher Lao
Tzu said that ‘the journey of a thousand miles begins with the .
first step’. We took our ‘first step’ 9 issues and 2 years ago, entering virtually uncharted territory as
There’s just .
Something
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the Caribbean’s first dedicated parenting publication. Our first cover was Momtrepreneur Jaime McConnell, who was 8 months pregnant with her 3rd child at the
Fresh on the heels of her recent [intimate] baby sprinkle in Montego Bay, we caught up with Jaime McConnell and found her absolutely glowing! For more reasons than one. Story: Michelle Gordon & Claire Harrisingh • Photography: Dwayne Watkins • Make-up: Angelie Spencer Styling: Arlene L. Martin for drennaLUNA • Children's Wardrobe: Imoga 2012 Collection available at Boy O Boy
time.
2
years later, meet our first b3 baby – Finley Collins McConnell who celebrated her second birthday in July! Just like us here at b3, Finley is enjoying every moment of this fun and fantastic journey of growing up! Cheers!
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Boy O Boy Limited PUBLISHER Michelle Gordon EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Dwayne Watkins PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR
Dwayne Jureidini ART DIRECTOR & LAYOUT ARTIST
Kimberley DunkleyMullings SPECIAL PROJECTS COORDINATOR
Angelie Spencer FASHION EDITOR & STYLIST
Norma Williams CREATIVE CONSULTANT
Arlene L. Martin ASSISTANT EDITOR
Chelsea Taylor EDITOR'S ASSISTANT .
• Contributing Writers Aiesha Panton, Amanda Garel, Elena Diedrick-Lynch, Gayle Cunningham, Ginger Jones, Narda Ventura, Natalie Graham, Natalie Nash, Poe Han Thar Kyaw, Rachel McDonald, Sara Conner, Violet Griffith, Gina Cicatelli Ciagne
Copy Editor Danielle Leyow
Contributing Photographers: J Squared Photography
Special thanks to Mona Loring MLC PR Matt Yorio MLC PR
Elizabeth Aleong CKFTO, Trinidad Claire Kunzman CAM PR
Advertising Sales Jamaica and the Caribbean Messado Media Ltd. messadomedia@gmail.com Canada and the United States Leeanne Bayley-Hay b3magazineadvertising@gmail.com
Digital Newsstands www.issuu.com and www.ezinesreader.com
Printed in Jamaica by Pear Tree Press Telephone: (876) 926-5859 Copyright © 2014 Boy O Boy Limited. All rights reserved. This material may not be reproduced, displayed, modified or distributed without the express prior written permission of Boy O Boy Ltd. For permission, please contact myboyoboy@gmail.com
‘Quick Fix’ with
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Next to excessive weight gain, uneven skin tone may well be the most common complaint of pregnant women and new mothers across the globe. But we’ve found the perfect fix for Mamas everywhere!
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ooking for an even, fresh tone without the weight of full foundation? Look no further than Matchmaster Concealer by M.A.C. M.A.C. Cosmetics uses ‘Shade Intelligence Technology’ to accurately match your skin tone (or tones as the case may be.) Shade Intelligence Technology utilizes a breakthrough pigment technology to personalize your concealer and condition your skin. It’s a lightweight formula that will reduce many common pregnancy-associated complaints from dark spots to discoloration and under-eye circles. Try it! You’ll get a natural satin finish that’ll add more glow to your bliss – pregnant or not!
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The First Beat of my
Second Heart by Natalie Graham
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W
hen the doctor tells you that you’re going to have a hard time conceiving, you believe her. When you’re holding a plastic stick that says (long before you could even wrap your mind around being ready) you’re pregnant...Well. You believe that too. Although everything inside of me had rebelled against my doctor’s somber proclamation, and I had KNOWN that I would do whatever it took to be a mom, I was still totally and utterly thrown by this unplanned pregnancy. They say you can’t plan for a miracle or for a surprise, but in those early days, I felt less bright and shiny and more doom and gloomy. I was the quintessential Type A personality- I had my plans, and a 12 step programme of how to get from whichever point to the Ultimate Goal, whatever the goal was, and absolutely no deviations were allowed.
something else I couldn’t define. The radiologist took in my conflicted expression with a small, knowing smile. As she rubbed the freezing gel over my tummy, she said quietly but confidently, “In a few seconds, you’ll see... Everything will be okay.” Then she ran the wand over my belly. I lay there completely unconvinced by her encouragement. And then came that sound. It was like I’d known it my whole life although I’d never heard it before. It sounded like heavy rain against a seaside roof; like wind on the hilltops. It sounded like life. A heart beat. That’s what it was, and that’s how long it took for me to become someone else entirely: a mom. Suddenly there was never a “Plan A”. There was just There and Then. There was just him, and just me. And it was enough. Although I intended to write about the bonding begun by those first baby kicks, for me the bonding began so much earlier than that. For this type A control freak whose shattered plans faded into memory within
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A HEART BEAT. ...THAT’S HOW LONG IT TOOK FOR ME TO BECOME SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY: A MOM. I’d love to say that as I sat there busily drafting new and improved life plans I was energized and infused with the maternal glow, but really what went down was days of weeping and moaning and sickness beyond any earthly malady. I was nauseated, I was bloated, I was fall-down-sleepy 24/7, and I couldn’t keep anything down except pure lime juice concentrate. Every single movement felt like I was working against gravity. Walking felt like a pirate ship obstacle course at full storm and I could frequently be seen propping up against walls every two seconds, trying to shake the fog from my head and the churn from my gut. I was miserable. And even as I obediently swallowed my supplements and teas, I wondered what kind of mother I was going to be if I was struggling so much with this ‘bonding’ I’d heard about. In my head, I had planned to be that mom who glowed from start to finish, and took daily photographs of the blossoming bond between mother and unborn child; I was going to spend days bathed in ethereal sunlight, blessed and beaming. I was NOT supposed to be this mom! Not this puking, groaning, green-faced wreckage! The day of my ultrasound, I was queasy, anxious and
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a single moment, I lay on that bed with my eyes closed as I fell into the bars and spaces of the symphony within me, his heartbeat connecting his spirit to mine. Whenever I think about “When I became a mom,” that’s the day I remember. By the time his secret flutter-kicks began to bubble their tiny way through my system, he and I were already bonded. As he grew, his kicks moved from champagne tickles to much more solid thumps and whacks against his womb-home. Sometimes, as I sang to my burgeoning belly, I imagined us as roommates on opposite sides of a dividing wall, developing our secret codes. One kick for “hi”, two for “You okay?” Three for, “I love you.” Every twist and turn and curl that I counted was another measure in my running countdown to the day that I would finally feel his fingers curl around mine, feel the heft of him against my chest, stare into his eyes, discerning the destiny in their depths. When that day finally came, every contraction, every gasp and every squeeze of my husband’s hand was just an echo of our earlier kick-conversations, a glorious syncopation leading up to that singular, life-changing moment when my wonderful, beautiful, surprise child finally made it into my wide open, waiting arms.
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Bump If you’ve ever been pregnant, you probably have some amount of first-hand knowledge of one type of discomfort or the other. For some it may be nausea or headaches, while for others it could be back pain or swollen feet. And that’s just a few. So we’ve done our research, and found what we think are 4 great sources for prenatal...
Sweet Relief By Michelle Gordon
FROM NAUSEA:
“Preggie Pops for moms-to-be are naturally flavored to offer relief of nausea associated with pregnancy via a combination of essential oils, aromatherapy and their unique delivery system. Preggie Pops were developed by healthcare professionals, and come in 7 great flavors, alleviate dry mouth, provide quick calories and energy during labour, and are an overall soothing and comforting way to address the needs of pregnant women.” www.preggiepops.com
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FROM SWOLLEN FEET:
With any unusual development during pregnancy, it’s always best to check with your doctor first. Once cleared medically, (aka no diagnosis of preeclampsia), swollen feet can easily be treated at home. If you’ve never heard of a magic mineral, now is the time to familiarize yourself with Epsom Salts! Epsom Salt is a natural mineral that contains magnesium and sulphur and is known for its ability to help reduce mild swelling or sore and aching feet during pregnancy.
TO USE: •
FROM STRETCH MARKS:
“They” say there’s no cure for stretch marks, but we beg to differ. Bio-Oil comes out on top of my list of 6 skincare oils for several different reasons. Bio‑Oil helps to improve the appearance of scars, stretch marks and uneven skin tone and is also effective for aging and dehydrated skin. It’s lightweight and absorbs easily – perfect for the warmer climes in the Caribbean where topical moisture is still necessary, but minus the hot, greasy feel. For growing tummies, consistent application of additional moisture penetrates the skin and allows it to stretch naturally without the pressure that can cause the skin to tear, causing unwanted stretch marks.
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•
•
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Simply dissolve 1 cup of Epsom Salts in one gallon of warm water. Soak your feet in the water for approximately 15 to 20 minutes. Get someone to massage your feet, if possible. Drink plenty of fluids Relax and elevate your feet
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Try to prevent swelling as best as possible by limiting your intake of salty foods, drinking plenty water, and elevating your feet every chance you get.
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Bump FROM HEARTBURN:
Naturally relieve heartburn during pregnancy with the Bump Nest™ Heartburn Relief System. This sleep positioning system comfortably holds mommy-to-be in an inclined, left-side sleeping position, which is optimal for heartburn and acid reflux relief and prevents sliding down. Bump Nest™ Pregnancy Pillows provide comfort to women at all stages of pregnancy. Mommies-to-be love premium fabrics, seamless interior that cradles neck and shoulders, wrap around flexibility, and repositionable stuffing for customized support.
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FROM BACK PAIN:
This pillow is aptly named since it definitely becomes what it’s called! Your ‘brest friend’. Sleeping comfortably becomes a challenge for many expectant mothers, with back pain being one of the most common complaints. The My Brest Friend Pregnancy Wedge can be placed behind your lower back for lumbar support, under your belly for sleeping support or between your legs for better hip, leg and back alignment. It is a versatile support cushion for back and belly during or after pregnancy. www.mybrestfriend.com
•Building Skills for Life•
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At Step By Step one of our main goals is to make learning fun. Preschool is the transition between home and school. It is a time to create, to explore, to experiment, to discover, and to grow. A time to play. A time to be a child We offer a four-year preschool program and a kindergarten program. There are six classrooms and children are placed according to age, not ability. Children engage in structured activities in the day, as well as independent play.
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31 Barbican Road, Kingston 6, Jamaica 876 970 3912 / 876 702 3836 www.stepbystepja.com
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There’s
A NEW PROMISE born
EVERY SECOND. .
You promise to do everything to keep her safe. We do, too. That’s why we’ve created our most advanced baby products. Hypoallergenic, paraben and phthalate free. The best for your baby. We promise. Learn more about our advanced formulas at youtube.com/baby
Your promise is our promise.
©Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies, Inc. 2014
Bump
BLISSFUL PARENTING with Elena Diedrick-Lynch Imagine a world where parenting is taught in school, and then you’re handed an operations manual the moment you’ve delivered your baby! Now wake up, and instead of dreaming, ask our Blissful Mummy all the things you want and need to know to get through those pesky parenting moments. Send your questions and comments to blissfulmummy@b3caribbeanmagazine.com
My husband insists on telling our 3-year-old son to 'man-up' whenever he falls, or cries for whatever reason. I believe he should be allowed to cry if he feels like crying. How do I solve this problem?
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Dear Mummy, It sounds to me like your parenting methods and Daddy's aren't along the same frequency. I would suggest first discussing your concerns with him. Highlight the point that your goal is not to teach your son to be weak, but to empower him to be strong and being in touch with your feelings is not a sign of weakness. It’s imperative to at least try to remain consistent regarding your parenting styles. Your methods may differ, but ultimately both parents should have the same goal of fostering our children's natural inclinations so they become their most authentic selves, not a version of what we want them to be. So first things first, sit with Daddy and discuss your concerns and present some hypothetical situations in which you would both feel comfortable just telling him to brush it off and others where you recognize you need to attend to him and allow him to feel upset if that is how he's feeling.
My daughter is a very nice person. In fact, I think she's too nice. She doesn't know how to say no, and always puts her wants after others. She's 8 years old now, and I'm afraid that she'll become a pushover especially as she approaches her teens. How do I help her to become more assertive? Mummy, oh wow. I can really relate to this issue. I have some overly nice people in my family that I've always been concerned about because people either, as you said, consider them a pushover or question their motives and agenda, assuming their niceness is insincere. The truth is, nice people have a lot of love and are not jaded by life - and so they give of themselves to everyone. They simply need help to filter and direct their niceness, affection and time to those who are truly deserving of it. It takes time and life experiences to determine the best outlets. As we get older we each have to decide what kinds of friends are really worthy of our time and affection, who deserves to be within our inner circle. It is very difficult to shield our children from all of the myriad of issues they'll be forced to deal with in life, but talking to them very frankly in child-appropriate language might help to empower her to be a bit more discriminating with her niceness. Please also remind her that she's very special to you and loved no matter what. I notice that
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as girls grow and mature, if their emotional buckets aren't filled at home by their parents then they seek that love and affection outside. As I'm sure you know, this can increase with puberty and the natural curiosity that comes with it. Try and arm her with information and maintain a presence in her day-to-day life; ask her about her day, converse about what’s happening in her life. She'll feel important and be less likely to seek that validation elsewhere. As she gets older, she'll naturally become more assertive and aware of those people who don't have her best interests at heart.
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Prenatal Aquatics T .
A Safe Fitness Choice! By Narda Ventura, Kingston, Jamaica
hese days, women are choosing to have children in their thirties, and beyond. The reasons behind this are a whole different topic, but what does come with having children at that age however, is the anxiety that it will be harder to get their bodies back in shape post pregnancy. Many of us who are planning a family, work towards getting our bodies fit prior to pregnancy, with the hope that it will be easier to return to pre-pregnancy state after the baby is born. But what about exercising and maintaining fitness while pregnant? Our mothers and grandmothers may tell us to be safe rather than sorry and refrain from anything that may risk the livelihood of your baby. In other words, stay away from any physical activity that is unnecessary. While that may once have been good advice, it doesn’t mean that exercising while pregnant is taboo. As a matter of fact, doctors and nutritionists worldwide encourage mothers to be to maintain some fitness programme while pregnant as a result of the numerous benefits that can be derived from it.
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Not all activities are safe, and some are not worth doing, but one that gets a thumbs up just about all the time, is prenatal aquatic workouts (exercising in water). The water (specifically the pool) provides all populations and pregnant women in particular, with a resistant-free, buoyant and safe environment in which to attain or maintain fitness. Here, you can participate in low impact and safe exercise routines that will keep your body in shape as it undergoes the many changes that accompany pregnancy. Most pregnant women refrain from exercise programmes as a result of fear of the risk of injury. In water, buoyancy allows for at least fifty percent of your body to be supported. This support alleviates the risk of injury. The primary benefits for aquatic exercises during pregnancy includes decreasing backaches and improving your posture while relieving stress and even easing morning sickness. Being in an aquatic environment is also great for your blood pressure as it helps with the circulation of your blood flow, reduces the risk of varicose veins in your legs and also helps to reduce the swelling of feet which is common in pregnancy. So can you maintain that muscle tone you worked so
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hard for, or can you get some if you didn’t have any? Yes, you can! You now have the opportunity to move and stretch in ways that you would not necessarily be able to on land, especially as you go up the trimester ladder. Prenatal Aquatic programmes such as the Aquaworx programme offered in Kingston Jamaica incorporates simple and safe moves in chest-deep water to stretch, tone and strengthen the major muscle groups. By incorporating water tools such as the noodle, each routine can increase in difficulty as you push and pull water. Workouts typically start with breathing exercises to get the soon-to-be mothers focused on the activities to come. Next, the major muscle groups which include your arms and legs are targeted. Though the programme does not aim for a cardio workout, nor does it directly challenge the core, based on movements, there are benefits to both. Most exercise routines are performed solo, but a few group activities are usually incorporated to encourage communication amongst the ladies as they share their
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own experiences. The Aquaworx Prenatal Aquatic programmes are designed with safety first. There are some exercises however that are not recommended on land, and the same goes for water. Pregnant women should avoid any activity which includes jumping and bouncing or twisting of the midsection. Exercising during your pregnancy is not for everyone and you should check with your doctor to get the ‘A-ok”! So ladies, if you are worried about your post baby body, stop worrying and find the nearest Prenatal Aquatic programme. Get the go-ahead from your doctor and get in the pool. Narda Ventura is the co-owner of Aquaworx Jamaica where clients can participate in aquatic-based programmes from Learn-to Swim, Aquoarobotics, Prenatal Aquatics to Aquatic Rehabilitation. Narda is mother to 6-year-old Callia and 2-year-old Dimitri. Contact Narda or Trudy at Aquaworx at aquaworxjamaica@gmail.com, or at www.facebook.com/aquaworxjamaica
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By Amanda Garel
With the dollar devaluing, the environment deteriorating, and all holy-hell breaking loose in the world, is it really the right time to make a baby? Of course, you could argue that people had children during World Wars, The Great Depression, and similarly bleak historic times. The difference is—today we have access to a myriad of birth control options. Back in yesteryear, people tended to marry earlier (and more often), and starting a family immediately was expected, regardless of the troubles playing out on the world’s stage. Only prostitutes, or working girls, (as we’ve seen in Mad Men), considered birth control. 30 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |
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ow, things are very different. Many women choose not to marry, in favor of furthering their careers and education. The stigma of being a single-mother is practically non-existent. For the first time in history, if a woman wants to have a baby, she doesn’t need a man. She can buy herself some desirable DNA, and make the baby of her dreams. But should she? Is it really the right time? In the 1800’s, the world saw a tremendous spike in births. As the Industrial era called for more manual labor, the world’s population hit the one-billion person mark. There were jobs to be filled, so of course, the population rose to the challenge. We hit the second billion-person mark, only one hundred and thirty years later, until we climbed straight up to the seven point two billion we are working with today. However, the demand for labor has decreased, drastically. Technology has made the human being redundant in many fields and intends to keep chugging along this path. Even now, Amazon has developed a program that allows you to design your own novel. You can choose the general plotline you prefer, and Amazon will write you the book you are hankering to read. There will soon be no need for novelists, like me! Meanwhile, we are facing a potential food crisis as changes to our environment threaten to starve us out. I repeat: Is it really time to procreate? But still….despite all these mounting factors, your body is probably over-riding this good sense with cries of, “but I WANT a baby….” (Stupid ovaries!) The best thing to do, in these cases, is write a list of pro’s and con’s. So without further ado, may I present:
THE PRO, S OF HAVING: .
1.
2.
THE PRO, S OF NOT HAVING:
Baby Shower: Shallow as it sounds, this is probably the last time the world will see you as anybody other than “little Maddox’s Mom.” This is your final chance at belle of the ball. Loved ones will pull out chairs for you. You will be showered with love, compliments and expensive gifts. Better yet, you don’t have to share the attention, as you would on your wedding day. No daddy-love here! It’s all about the mama. Little person who looks like you, loves you unconditionally, and occasionally gives you googly eyes when he/she is taking a poo. It is wonderful to have a tiny version of yourself that you can coo over, and dress up in cute outfits. (It’s kind of like playing with a doll, except if you break him, you go to jail). What’s not fun about that?
3.
The get-out-of-gym-free card, known as Breast Feeding. (This reason may be good enough to trump all others). You can eat whatever you want, then pump your way skinny.
4.
When your husband dies, you will have your child to lean on, for a lifetime of support, affection and love. Or, he or she could stick you in a home and only visit once a year. (It’s a crap-shoot with these young whipper-snappers).
5.
The odd job of testing out all the theories you ever had on how a child SHOULD be raised. And watching them fail. Over and over. For the rest of your life. (Maybe this isn’t a benefit?)
6.
Getting to re-live your childhood, teenage years and college years through your offspring. (Con: You have to pay for it all!)
1.
You can take all the money you were going to spend on a child, and fund multiple scholarships for other people’s kids, who would otherwise, not be able to afford such scholastic opportunities. Or you could do lots of drugs. (Priorities, people!).
2.
You never have to experience walking into a room and seeing your offspring covered in their own fecal matter. You also won’t have to experience that fecal matter being rubbed all over your newly decorated home.
3.
You never HAVE to cook ANYTHING. You can cook WHAT you want, when you WANT. There are literally no rules about this.
4.
You can (continue to) have sex on your kitchen counter. Day or night! (You’re welcome)
5.
You never have to hire the following people: a nanny, a maid, a pediatrician, an extra lesson tutor, a clown, a balloon man, a cotton candy man, an S.A.T. prep tutor or a College Counsellor.
6.
You are free to pursue all your hopes and dreams. You don’t have a curfew. You can pick up and move to France for a month, just because you have a massive croissant craving. You can join the circus. You can become a porn star. The world is your flipping oyster!
7.
Your husband will still want to have lots of sex with you because there isn’t a screaming person attached to your leg, and emptying his wallet.
8.
You can sleep through the night. EVERY NIGHT.
Despite this mounting evidence, I feel as though some of you are still muttering, “but I WANT a baby,” in a prolonged, frustrated sigh. What can I say? Mother Nature is a Bitch.
Amanda Garel is a Kindle Author and entertaining blogger. Follow her random musings at amandahanna01@wordpress.com
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Bump
by Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis MBBS, DM (OB-GYN), Jamaica Dr. Thea-Nicole Davis is our Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist who answers your questions and addresses your concerns on medical matters pertaining to bumps, babies and beyond. Dr. Davis is mother to 5-year-old Imani. She is an avid reader who, like all our contributing writers, has a passion for children and parenting. Dr. Davis lives in Mandeville, and practices in both Kingston and Mandeville, Jamaica. Send your questions to info@b3caribbeanmagazine.com
Are there any safe ways that I can cool my body temperature down from the inside out? I’m constantly hot, even in the a/c, and I feel tortured most days and nights. I’m only 5 months pregnant, so I still have quite a way to go. Help!
We are currently experiencing a very hot summer and as the years go by the summers are getting hotter. Needless to say, pregnant women already have some degree of heat intolerance. For some, it is always hot and humid, which can be a recipe for misery, but there are ways to cope. Some recommendations include to wear cool fabric, and always have a bottle with cool water that you can sip .
throughout the day. If possible, swimming or taking more frequent baths for the day may help. Most importantly, carry a water-filled squirt bottle so that you can mist yourself when you start to feel warm. You can also consult further with your doctor to check your thyroid hormone levels, as an overactive gland is associated with heat intolerance.
A co-worker of mine developed gestational diabetes during her pregnancy. How do I prevent that from happening to me?
Gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM) is a condition that develops during pregnancy when the body is not able to make enough insulin. The lack of insulin causes blood sugar levels to become higher than normal. It affects about 2-10% of pregnant patients and has serious consequences for both mother and baby. Therefore, all pregnant women should be screened for diabetes at 24 to 28 weeks of gestation by doing a simple blood test. This pregnancy-related condition cannot be prevented, however you can identify if you are at risk for GDM and consult with your doctor for early screening if you have not yet reached 24 weeks
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gestation. According to the American Diabetes Association, you're considered at high risk for this condition if: 1. You're obese (your body mass index is over 30). 2.
You've had gestational diabetes in a previous pregnancy.
3.
You have sugar in your urine.
4.
You have a strong family history of diabetes.
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Bump YOU CAN ALSO BE AT RISK IF YOU HAVE A PAST HISTORY OF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: You've previously given birth to a big baby (greater than 4,000 grams), had an unexplained stillbirth, have high blood pressure or you’re over the age of 35. The goal of treatment is early diagnosis and good glucose control in order to decrease the likelihood of adverse pregnancy outcomes for both the mother and baby.
The skin on my knees, elbows and knuckles have gotten very dark and ashy since I became pregnant. The skin on my elbow is actually quite scaly as well. I use olive oil and cocoa butter, but neither seems to be helping.
Your skin and related structures, including hair, nails, and mucosa, undergo numerous changes during pregnancy and the immediate post-delivery period. What you are experiencing is increased skin pigmentation which almost all pregnant women develop to some degree. This is as a result of the pregnancy hormones estrogen and progesterone that stimulate the production of another hormone called melonocyte stimulating Hormone, which is responsible for increased pigmentation of the skin. Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do to prevent these natural changes from occurring and there are no recommended treatments for these changes. However, keeping the skin moisturised will help to alleviate any other related symptoms, such as itching, and will help to decrease the scaly appearance. Your skin will revert back to normal after the pregnancy. .
Designed For Comfort Lansinoh® Manual Breast Pump Two modes – Stimulation & Expression – to maximize your milk production and comfort ComfortFit™ flanges in two sizes for ideal suction and fit Ergonomic easy-express™ handle reduces hand fatigue Fewer parts make it simple to use and simple to clean Connect With Us!
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By Gina Cicatelli Ciagne CLC and Vice President of Healthcare Lansinoh Laboratories, Inc.
OVERCOME MILK SUPPLY ISSUES
“Many new moms are concerned about their breastmilk supply when they first start breastfeeding. The best way to build and maintain a good breastmilk supply is to watch the baby and NOT the clock. Feed your baby at the breast whenever you see hunger cues, which can include sucking on fingers, baby sticking out their tongue, or baby rooting for the breast. Crying is a late stage of hunger and it’s harder to latch on a crying baby, so learn to recognize your baby’s
hunger cues. It’s important to remember that a new baby’s stomach is very small! Since breastmilk is perfectly designed for them to digest, newborns will eat frequently. Moms should plan on breastfeeding at least every two hours at first, and sometimes more often. This frequent feeding at the breast from the start is the best way to build up milk supply when moms first start breastfeeding.”
RELIEVE THE PAIN OF FULL BREASTS
“When mom’s breastmilk first “comes in,” her body will make an abundance of milk until the correct supply is established. It’s important to make sure you’re feeding at the breast based on baby’s hunger cues in order to teach your body how much milk it needs to make for your baby’s unique needs. Until your body and baby are in sync, your breasts may be tender and/or swollen. In between feeds, you can alleviate this tenderness by applying ice packs. The Lansinoh® TheraPearl 3-in-1 packs can be
used cold to help with this. Many well-intentioned friends will incorrectly suggest that you pump to relieve the excess milk but that is a mistake. Pumping will cue your body that it needs to make MORE milk, and will contribute to the problem. Try to let your body naturally establish the correct milk supply. You may find some relief by standing in a shower and letting the warm water run over your breasts, which may naturally release some of the milk supply.”
RECOGNIZE AN EFFECTIVE BREASTFEED
“It is a common concern for new moms that their baby may not be getting enough breastmilk because breastfeeds can’t be measured. You want to pay attention to baby’s diapers – they should be having at least 6-8 wet diapers and at least two dirty diapers every day. If baby is producing enough wet and dirty diapers and gaining weight, baby is getting enough milk. Moms shouldn’t judge effective breastfeeds on the amount of time spent at the breast. Every baby is different. Baby eating
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frequently is NOT a sign they’re not eating enough, nor is it a sign of low milk supply. Tummies are small and breastmilk is easily digested. If you have concerns, or baby isn’t gaining weight, a lactation professional can do an evaluation and offer suggestions on what to do differently.”
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Baby
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When Breastfeeding Fails By Violet Griffith,
RN, Lactation Consultant
Violet Griffith is by profession a Dietitian with over 40 years of experience and extensive training in Infant and Young Child Feeding. Her passion is ensuring that mothers have a successful and rewarding breastfeeding experience. To book a consultation contact her at 876.776.9711.
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A
re you one of many mothers who planned to breastfeed your baby but it just did not work out? Not to worry. This happens quite often, especially with first-time mothers. If this was your experience, many feelings might erupt, creating an emotional dilemma. Once these feelings are identified and managed, the emotions can be channelled, and the bond between mother and baby can bloom uninterrupted.
FEELING LIKE A FAILURE Knowing all the benefits of breastfeeding, and having made plans to do so, you will need the cooperation of your baby and the support of your family members, health worker and friends in order to achieve a high level of success. It is not a test, so the perception of failure should not be entertained. Do not allow your un-fulfilled breastfeeding experience to affect the breastfeeding relationship with your other children. Try to learn as much as possible from the experience and use it to guide future decisions. Breastfeeding is like most things that we learn in life; some persons will achieve success from the very beginning while some may encounter challenges.
UNFULFILLED – A MOTHER’S DREAM SHATTERED Give yourself some credit. The fact that you made plans and tried to breastfeed your baby is the beginning of your success story. The relationship did not work out so you will naturally feel a sense of loss. Women tend to see breastfeeding as a biologically natural activity without being aware of the challenges that can accompany the relationship and the need for social support to ensure success. Do not ever consider yourself a breastfeeding failure, instead, think of the lessons learnt and try not to use the words breastfeeding and failure in the same sentence when you think or talk about your experience. Your experience may become the guiding light that saves other mothers from similar challenges. As the first step towards alleviating your sense of loss and achieving a positive outlook, it may be helpful to look at some general reasons the experience did not work out for you. This process will also be helpful for future pregnancies, and for others who may look to you for support and advice. Look closely at your Antenatal Preparation. Knowing what to expect, what to do and how to do it will help you to build your confidence to help you through the initial stages. It is a good idea to inform your health care team about your decision to breastfeed during the antenatal period and discuss any special concerns or needs you may have. The Birth Process can sometimes leave you feeling tired and stressed. Skin-to-skin contact between you and your baby, whether delivered naturally or by Cesarean section, is paramount in initiating and establishing early breastfeeding success. Excepting cases of medical emergencies decided by your health care team,
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activities like weighing and bathing baby should be postponed until after this important bonding and initiation period. The long-term success of breastfeeding is affected by the introduction of Supplemental Feeds including formula, glucose water, herbal teas, donor milk or other types of feeds. Your baby has a tiny stomach capacity which will be occupied by these supplements, leaving no space for your breast milk and subsequently denying the opportunity of establishing breastfeeding at a time when your baby’s desire to suck is very strong.
NEED FOR SUPPORT During the early stages especially immediately after discharge from the hospital, you do need a supportive environment which is facilitated by family members, friends and your health care team. Your doctor and lactation specialist continue to be good sources of support especially when you encounter any challenges and will help to ensure that they are resolved quickly. This is especially important for those moments when you may feel invaded, having your private decisions becoming public concern, often accompanied by unwanted opinions. With the birth of your new baby, it is possible that you may experience many emotions that are likely to change quite often. Breastfeeding can be an experience filled with anxiety in the early stages. If your baby is having at least six wet diapers per day and is gaining weight, then he is getting enough milk. With patience, time and practice, this will improve as you enjoy your new bundle of joy. .
ANGER AT MOTHER NATURE Babies sometimes have Health Issues, which may make breastfeeding difficult. In such situations, an appropriate formula is the best choice. Other times, it’s as simple as excessively high expectations. An overestimation of the amount of feed that the baby is able to consume at one time can cause the mother to misinterpret this to mean that they are not getting enough breast milk and resort to other feeds. The reality is that a baby’s stomach is tiny so they take only a small amount, but need to be fed frequently – as often as they demand.
GUILT If the breastfeeding experience did not work out for you, it is important not to feel guilty. The perception that you have not given your baby the best start in life is simply a perception. You may not have been given the information you needed and the support necessary to succeed. If you cannot or do not want to breastfeed, the important thing is to ensure that your baby’s nutritional needs are met and his health, emotional and social wellbeing are maintained. Your focus at this time is to find the best alternative, ask your doctor’s help in identifying an appropriate formula. There are still benefits that you can reap from formula feeding and you should still try to bond as much as possible with your baby. Combined with the way you hold your baby for and between feedings, and the way you make eye contact, the bond you create with your baby can still be as precious and impenetrable as if you were breastfeeding normally. Re-build your positive feelings and then channel your energies into building a great relationship with your baby as you continue to love, nourish and nurture him. Love yourself and continue to enjoy the wonderful experience of being a mother.
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Glama Mama .
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Being one of Jamaica’s most sought-after
make-up artists, Loni Jones knows a thing or two about glamour. She has headed the glam teams for local and international celebrities, fashion photo shoots, movie sets and countless weddings.
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Interview by Michelle Gordon Photography by Dwayne Watkins Make up by Loni Jones
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L
oni now adds Mom to her resume since welcoming her identical twin boys just 5 months ago. Lao and Leno are in good hands. Their mother has embraced motherhood like she’s done this many times before. She’s cool, calm and confident as she saunters through ‘twindom’ with an effortless grace admired by many, and attained by few. She has got the ‘it’ factor, and then some! Picture a little ‘joie de vivre’ mixed with solid values and ethics, and to that add a touch of urban edginess – that’s Loni! Maybe it’s because she eased through 9 months of pregnancy and managed to look flawless throughout. It could also be because she approaches parenting with much the same purposeful outlook as she does her trade – this is what I’m here to do, so let’s do it! But whatever it is, Loni Jones is a perfect hit as this issue’s Glama Mama, because by all indications, she’s doing ‘it’ in fine Glama Mama style!
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Your boys are not yet at the 6-month mark. How difficult or easy was it getting back into work mode? VERY EASY!! I was dying to be back at work. I truly love what I do.
What’s the key to maintaining your balance as a new mother and a working mother? You have to make sure there is a balance to begin with! For me it really comes down to making sure everything is structured and harmonic, starting with the boys.
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What schedule have you created for the twins that fits your new parenting lifestyle? The boys have a schedule that is fixed and well regulated, so I work around that no matter what. It’s simpler that way, and creates the structure that they need for development.
With new babies and a demanding schedule, where do you find time for Loni?
Those times wholly for me are far and few between, especially when our universe-sent nanny is off! I try my best to make do with the time I get when she is there, although I feel like my time is still my time when she’s not.
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You’ve worked on both sides of the fashion spectrum as a model, and in production. What made you opt for behind-the-scenes? I wouldn’t declare myself a model and certainly not a fashion one at that but having tasted both sides of talent and production, I’ve found a deeper liking for being on the production side. It feels good seeing a project manifest knowing you did your part in committing to it and making it happen.
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As a make-up artist who knows all the tricks of the trade, what are 3 essential products that you could never do without? 1. Mascara 2. Lip balm 3. Moisturizer with SPF
You make women ‘ beautiful’. Do you believe that beauty and glamour come only from wearing make up?
Of course not! It can certainly enhance both. There is beauty in all women and some level of glamour too.
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What are your tips and tricks when wearing make-up in the summer heat?
Skip foundation and go for a tinted moisturizer; bronzers can be your BF (best friend) or your WE (worst enemy) so apply moderately. Play with colour without earning Rainbow Brite status. Keep it simple! Less is more and importantly, water proof it!
What single thing do you think makes a woman glamorous? Definitely her mind! If she’s not already thinking that way how can she truly be glamorous?
If you weren’t a make-up artist, what would you be doing?
Hmmm.. So many things I could be doing. My list is pretty long! Maybe I’d be more of a hippie than I already am... devoted to spreading love and on a journey trying to procure nirvana! :) Im just all about Love, Positivity, Balance and Harmony!!
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Baby
Island Rides .
Stroller, pram, buggy, pushchair or carrycot… Call it what you will. But it’s very likely on the list of every mother-to-be on either side of the Atlantic! She wants one that’s sleek, sexy, sturdy and smooth. She wants it to complement her style, and make her mobility during motherhood as effortless as possible. But let’s face it…here in the Caribbean, we’re less dependent on strollers as our North American and European counterparts. Parks and smooth surfaces in shopping malls are substituted by sandy beaches and narrow sidewalks. So, whether you call an island in the Caribbean home, or if you’re visiting a piece of paradise for a short time, here’s our view on the strollers that make the grade for the best rides on our terrain.
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Indie 4 by Bumbleride The Indie 4 is a compact, lightweight all-terrain stroller designed to bridge the gap between urban errands and off-road adventures while adapting to babies at any age or stage. With the bassinet included, you can use it when your child is an infant, and remove it when they're ready for a forward-facing seat. The convertible stroller is also equipped with an all-wheel suspension and plenty of storage room, making it ready for any trek. www.bumbleride.com $599
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BOB Revolution Flex by Britax The NEW Revolution FLEX jogging stroller from BOB Gear by Britax includes a handlebar that adjusts to nine different positions to create the perfect fit for any parent’s height. The stroller also includes 5 colour options and high-impact polymer composite wheels with pneumatic tyres and tubes which make it ideal on tough terrain, yet it’s state-of-the-art, adjustable suspension system provides an exceptionally smooth ride. www.bobgear.com $479.99
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Stokke Trailz Stokke Trailz is a versatile all-terrain stroller with superior maneuverability and advanced tyre suspension for the countryside or the town. With large air-filled tyres and a spacious waterproof shopping basket, the Stokke Trailz is the perfect choice for active families who love the outdoors. Experience all terrain in all seasons with the Stokke Trailz. Car seat options available. www.stokke.com $1,299
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Summit X3 by Baby Jogger Go anywhere with this highly maneuverable hybrid jogger/stroller. With its all-wheel suspension, the Summit X3 provides exceptional performance on any terrain. A remote wheel lock on the handlebar allows you to easily shift between jogging and strolling. www.babyjogger.com $429
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bib noun \bib\
1. a piece of cloth, plastic, or paper that covers the chest and is often tied under the chin of a child to protect the clothing while the child is eating. .
The word bib finds it’s origin as the verb bibben: “to drink”, from Latin bibere, as it was worn while drinking or because it “soaked up” spills.
Mally Bibs Call it functional fashion for babies! Mally Bibs are handmade out of baby soft leather and designed to last. Each bib is reversible with a fun and modern design on one side, and a functional pocket on the other. Closing with a unique magnetic clasp, Mally Bibs will stick to the fridge between meals for quick and easy access. Best of all, Mally Bibs won’t stain and all they require is a simple wipe with a cloth or a rinse under the tap after mealtime! www.mallydesigns.com $35
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Silly Souls Cute meets crazy when funny meets fashion. Take a bow Silly Souls, not just for thinking outside the box, but for throwing that box away! Loving this cheeky line of urban apparel and accessories that take the colour black and rock star cool to a whole new level in ‘babydom’, reminding mom that a little laughter feeds the soul, and that there’s more to baby accessories than a pink and blue world! www.sillysouls.com $9.99
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Organics For Kids A bib doesn’t have to look like a bib when it can be a bandana! We love this cute yet functional bib whose double layer of soft, pure Organic Cotton will keep babies dry and comfy. The bandana fastens behind the neck with a nickel– free popper. Fun patterns are reversible, and they have lots of neutral shades that are suitable for both boys and girls. www.pigeonorganics.com $13.40
Baby Bjorn Bib The BABYBJORN Soft Bib is ergonomically designed to fit your child perfectly. It’s soft and comfortable and catches food that “misses” baby’s mouth. Love the adjustable neckband, which allows your growing baby to use it for a long time. With the BABYBJORN Soft Bib, washing sticky bibs will be a thing of the past. Just rinse it off and use it again. www.amazon.com $15
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Beyond
.
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Sweet Celebrations .
By Michelle Gordon Photography: Dwayne Watkins Sugar Artists: Camille Flimn and Nadene Lazarus Candy Buffet: Candy Craze Candy Bar & Creamery Upper Manor Park Plaza, Kingston Jamaica. www.candycraze.com
Asked to create a wow cake that epitomized what b3 is all about, Camille Flimn put several elements together that speak the global language of parenting. One of the most beautiful things about publishing this magazine is the fact that whether you’re a parent in Istanbul, Nigeria, New York, or Antigua, the issues that we face as parents really don’t vary that much. This amazing cake speaks to the whimsy of childhood, something that most parents wish for their children – playtime fun and frolic encapsulated in the joy of a child’s toy box. As the little teddy bear climbs up the ladder, to place the number 2 on top of the globe, we are reminded that in this digital age of hashtags and instant messages, the world really is ours to cover. From Jamaica to the world, b3 celebrates two beautiful years of redefining Caribbean parenting with style, class and beauty. Thanks Camille! xoxo #teamb3
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Beyond
“
TODAY’S CELEBRATION INCORPORATES ASPECTS OF PERSONALITY AND TASTE TO BECOME A REFLECTION OF
THE CHILD BEING CELEBRATED.”
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W
ho doesn’t love to celebrate! Whether it’s a birthday, an anniversary, a new baby or even just a simple play-date; life is all about living out loud, and celebrating the big and small milestones along the way. In honour of our 2nd birthday, we put together all the components that make for a fabulous celebration. We sought the advice of top planning experts and compiled the perfect party planner just for you! Celebrating milestones in a child’s life has evolved within the past 15 to 20 years, from the basic gettogether to elaborate gatherings requiring several months of preparation. “With more families having access to disposable income, the way we celebrate today bears more resemblance to celebrity-styled events than in years gone by,” explains Selena Hammond-Walters of New Levels Décor in Kingston. It’s not just about a pink or blue theme, or simple cake and ice cream anymore. Today’s
celebration incorporates aspects of personality and taste to become a reflection of the child being celebrated. Does your child love music? Set the tone with a guitar shaped invitation and a drum-shaped cake. Is she a budding ballerina? Then why not gift all of her little guests with personalized tutus and tiaras! “Keeping it sweet and simple doesn’t mean being boring and traditional,” says Amirah Gopaul, mother of a nine-year-old boy and Event Planner. “The first thing to remember when having a birthday party for a child is to make it enjoyable for them, and manageable for you.” For children under 5, a rule of thumb for their birthday party is to invite as many guests as your child’s age. Not always possible? Agreed. But it’s important especially when planning events for younger children, bearing in mind that the little ones tire easily, and fatigue for a child can easily become a mini disaster. As your child grows older, you may want to involve them more in the planning process; unless of course, it’s a surprise. Then it’s important to consider relevance. A surprise party for a child is somewhat moot, considering that half the fun for a child’s birthday is the anticipation and ultimate countdown to their big day! Growing older is so much fun for a child and their birthday party is a great way for them to enjoy the moment and create special memories. Save the surprise for bigger kids and baby showers!
CREATE A CONCEPT The first step in planning any celebration is defining the concept for your event. This entails what you ultimately want your event to look like, looking closely at the themes and ideas and of course, your budget. During your brainstorming it is important to remember the likes and dislikes of the one being celebrated – it’s their event, so it’s important that they enjoy themselves.
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Patta Cake... Patta Cake Bakers Mom!
Camille Flimn
As with most birthdays, our 2nd called for a cake. And not just any cake! We are after all, about the trendiest and the best of anything and everything to do with child lifestyle. So it stands to reason that our birthday cake should be every bit as fabulous as we are!
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e wanted something that represented our brand while telling a playful story of our purpose and vision. We think out-of-the-box, so naturally we wanted an out-of-the-box cake. Patta Cake, Patta Cake Baker’s Mom is not a typo. That’s our take on the new ‘sweet-art’ that is taking over the baking industry. Cake decorating and sugar design & artistry is the delicate skill of creating three and four dimensional fondant figures for custom cakes. It’s art indeed, in possibly the sweetest form you can find today, using gum pastes, fondant, stencils, edible images and a host of other tools of the trade to create mind-blowing and often realistic representations of one-time basic cakes. Enter Camille Flimn; Cake Decorator and Sugar Artist extraordinaire, and this issue’s Momtrepreneur. Camille has loved everything about baking since she was a little girl. Sitting at the feet of her mother, and learning the ropes at an early age, she has followed in her footsteps and now hones her craft with impeccable detail and an intense desire to constantly improve. She is steadily establishing herself as one of Jamaica’s best, and having never been formally trained, she proves that the perfect recipe for success requires talent, dedication, passion, and a whole lot of love! You would think this lady would already have her hands full with four children ages 5 to 12, a husband, and a full-time job as a Flight Attendant. But in true Momtrepreneur spirit, Camille seized a sweet opportunity (pun intended), and created a greater purpose for her passion. “Having four kids meant having four separate birthday parties each year. I
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wanted to give them all those wonderful cakes that I saw online, so with a limited budget, and my mom’s help, I chose to do the character cakes for them. It was actually the parents of the invited children that were really impressed with the cakes and through them, I got my first cake order!” “I’m thankful that God has blessed me with a gift to create such beautiful art. What I do makes people happy, and I’m happy when my clients are happy. Each cake I make is for a celebration of some sort, and I really love to be a part of those special moments. I work really hard to ensure that my clients get what they want, and more,” explains Camille. The final result of any of her cakes do little to tell the story of countless hours of
boundaries. I have to ask questions and do extensive research especially when presented with an unfamiliar topic.
Cake decorating reminds Camille of the value of discipline and patience, both as a Sugar Artist and as a mother. In baking, and in raising children, there is a process that you must go through to get your desired result. You need a great deal of these components to be a good parent and, likewise, to create works (of art) with sugar. “Trust me, these cakes will test your patience, just like your kids!” "Do I have a favourite cake? No. My cakes are like my children... I love them all equally, but not the same. With that being
work including client meetings, research, mistakes and mishaps. According to this Momtrepreneur, a lot of the baking and decorating process reflects so many truths about life. “I’ve been asked to create designs that challenge me to go beyond my usual
said, there was an intricate vintage sewing machine cake that I was asked to make at the onset of my career. It took me many, many hours, but when I finished, it made me realize that I could do almost anything with cake!"
LIFE LESSONS FROM A CAKE. .
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CANDY “ BUFFETS ARE A BIG HIT AT ANY EVENT... A BABY SHOWER, BIRTHDAY PARTY OR EVEN A CORPORATE FUNCTION.
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THE GUEST LIST Try not to make the guest list a version of what you’d like for your party. Save that for when you do your grown-up entertaining, and be sure to invite children who your child really wants to have around them.
INVITATIONS Once you’ve decided on a theme, let it flow throughout all aspects of your party, starting with the invitation. Although you can purchase store-bought invitations, this is a great opportunity to get creative and design your own custom-made cards, or if your budget allows, you can use the services of your local Papérie or printers. Think outside the box when planning to celebrate your child’s birthday and set the tone for his or her rock star party by creating a ‘concert ticket’ styled invite. Remember to keep everything age-appropriate. So for the 2-year-old birthday party, bear in mind that a similarly aged child cares very little about the invitation. So you can put more effort into another aspect of the party and perhaps excite your little guests with some representation of their favourite character.
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ETIQUETTE Birthday parties may well be your child’s first exposure to entertaining, so use this as a great opportunity to ‘train’ them in the do’s and don’ts of social life. DO have your child: ˏˏ Welcome each guest. ˏˏ Say thank you for every gift (if you open gifts during the party, you may want to remind your child to show appreciation whether or not he/she likes the gift) ˏˏ Say goodbye to each guest ˏˏ Thank each guest for coming DON’T allow your child to: ˏˏ Break rules just because it’s his/her birthday ˏˏ Be rude to or exclude their guests ˏˏ Disappear without warning
DÉCOR Again, it’s important when decorating to go along with your theme and ensure it's age appropriate but yet timeless. Take into consideration that less is sometimes more and don't overwhelm the venue with too
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much decoration. Depending on your venue its important to include seating areas for parents and guardians (if not provided) and a shaded area for day parties.
SWEET STUFF Themed cakes have long been admired by party-goers from near and far. Think Patrick Hansen of Hansen Cakes fame, with centuries of sweet secret recipes enjoyed by presidential and Hollywood A-lister clients. Such sweet delights however, were often reserved for the chosen few. But today designer cakes are the new ‘in thing’! (Have you seen the one on our cover?!?) Given the rise in specialty bakers (pun intended), it has become more affordable to create oneof-a-kind cakes. The process is an intensive one, heavily dependent on artistic vision, a steady hand and lots of patience! Local cake designers continue to impress with stunning works of edible art for every type of occasion. When ordering a cake, you should already have an idea of what you’d like it to look like. Once again, consider the theme of the party, the amount of guests and of course the flavour(s) that your guest of honour
loves. If you’re ever stumped for ideas, have a conversation with your baker. Specialist cake bakers and designers are incredibly creative and he or she is bound to have plenty of options they can share with you. Your baby shower or birthday party does not have to be limited to a traditional cake. Get creative with cupcakes, cake pops, designer cookies and mini cakes for bite size, on-the-go treats. A candy buffet is all the rage and can be used as an interactive station for children and parents alike. This is a grand collection and display of (usually) colour-coordinated candy and sweet indulgences. Candy buffets are always a big hit at any event, whether you’re hosting a baby shower, birthday party or even a corporate function. If you’d like to create a sweet station, but you’re also trying to promote a healthier lifestyle for your children, you can always include some non-sugar options like popcorn, fresh fruits and colourful veggies. Custom-designed water bottles and partythemed packaging are great additions for a good-looking sweet station. For even more creative visuals, add candy jars and beautiful flowers in complimentary colours.
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“
IF THERE IS NO CANDY IN HEAVEN
I'M NOT GOING”
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FANTASTIC FAVOURS Gone are the days of loot bags filled with plastic army men and outdated candy. Now is the time to get your creative juices flowing and come up with fun ideas for party favours. Custom items such as towels, cups and even shirts are always a great idea, knowing that children can use these items frequently. “It’s about being practical and useful,” says mother of 2 girls, Lisa Hartley. “I like to sew, and so does my mother. So every birthday party I have for my girls, I buy fabric and make personalized tokens for all the guests. It’s costeffective, and the children love and use their gifts!” Branded items are a great idea and add a nice, personal touch to any event. Put your child’s name on your cocktail napkins, your bottled water, or your gift bags…the choices are endless to make your celebration special for everyone. In Jamaica, paper professionals like Copy Cat Business Centre will work with clients to create novel products that can be used as part of the décor, or as gifts at your baby shower, birthday party or your corporate event.
TIME TO EAT “Mom, I’m Hungry” These are the famous last words of many a child whilst en route home, at the END of a birthday party! Why Lord, why? You’ve just left a wonderful party with copious amounts of food, drinks and snacks. But noooooooo, my child declares painstakingly that he’s starving unto death. Never mind that you’ve spent the last 4
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hours enjoying the respite of some time away from ‘work’, with cooking being the furthest thing from your mind. All attempts to get 'Junior' to eat something other than Cheetos at the party, failed. The question is why, and the answer is he was simply too busy, and possibly too high on sugar, to realize that he was hungry. Stay-at-home mother of four, Yolanda, has it all worked out. “Before every party, or any major outing for that matter, I make sure my brood eats before they leave the house. If they don’t eat, they don’t go!” On the flip side, mother of 2, caterer and event planner Annette Lewis, recommends offering easy-to-eat fare at any gathering involving children. “The kids are here to party, not to eat. So make it easy for them by having foods that are ‘mobile’. You can’t go wrong with pizza, hot dogs, grilled-cheese sandwiches, sliders and mini burgers.
Excellent Idea! After years of frustration with attending birthday parties and returning home with hungry kids, one mother decided to change her party-planning game a bit. Elise Campbell, mother of 2 boys, has committed to helping birthday party-going parents. Elise decided that she would package to-go boxes of healthy dinners for children so that when Mommy arrived home post-party, all tired and bothered, all she had to do was a quick re-heat, and all would be well with the world!
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Check This Out! Looking for event planning and entertainment help? IN BARBADOS
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Liv's Party Box specializes in creating those extra special events, whether you wish it to be an enchanting fairy tale party or an exciting sweet 16! Birthday parties with special themes, art and craft play dates, kid’s entertainment as well as other kinds of fun activities for the little ones - from birthday cakes to loot bags, food and drinks to face painting, jumping tents, magicians, pony rides and much more. Liv's Party Box will also entertain your children if you are hosting a wedding or other adult occasion, so that they can have fun too while the adults are busy partying! Whether you are considering a magical fairy party, having a princess for tea, a super sweet 16 or a baby shower, let Liv's Party Box create that extra special event which captures the joy and excitement of the occasion, with memories to last a lifetime!!
WHAT TO DO Play. Dance. Laugh. #thatisall Children can sometimes be independent when it comes to entertaining themselves, but giving them the tools to promote fun is always a good idea. Once again, your plan should be age appropriate. You wouldn’t have a bounce about for a 16 year old and you wouldn’t have a video game theme for a 4 year old. You may want to have someone in charge of the activities to save yourself the up and down of doing it yourself. You’re already busy overseeing the party. If your budget allows, you can hire an events execution company to take care of the details. Many of these companies provide entertainment coordinators or gamemasters who will entertain your guests. If that’s not possible, look no further than older cousins and neighbours who can chip in to help you keep the kid on their toes. Literally. Think dance parties, bounce abouts, water slides, arts and crafts tables and sporting activities… these are classic favourites all ensuring hours of fun. Try researching on the internet, you’re guaranteed to find inspiration for some fun and creative activities.
GIFTING
Liv’s Party Box Oistins, Christ Church, Barbados, 246-232-9249
IN JAMAICA Pussbackfoot is a boutique design house creating bespoke experiences in Jamaica, taking clients from concept to memorable and meaningful execution, like no other. Bring us your wish list and we will make it happen. None of the fuss; just all of the fresh and the fancy. Pussbackfoot loves babies! “Some of the most fun we've had is planning birthday parties for toddlers,” says Aiesha Panton, owner of Pussbackfoot. “From wonderlands and tutus and wands, to zoo parties and pinwheels. Kites chasing the wind, to construction, caution tape and tractors in the sand. Vintage circus themes with Ferris wheels, carousels and corn dogs… Pussbackfoot can do it all, you need only ask!” Pussbackfoot.com 876-822-5361
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By way of tradition, a birthday celebration is often recognized by showering the celebrant with gifts; a treat most children (and adults) enjoy. When giving gifts to children, remember to be age-appropriate with toys and books, and size-appropriate with clothing. Bear in mind also that the older your child becomes, the less likely he or she will be all agog about receiving clothes as a birthday present, unless it’s the latest and greatest of the hottest brand on the market! Parents can also use the concept of birthday gifts to teach children valuable lessons. It’s very easy for children to misunderstand gifting and consider it a ‘right’, and not an actual present. Talking to your child in a simple and practical manner can do wonders in preventing your child from developing a sense of entitlement. A gift is nice-to-have, not need-to-have... once your child grasps this concept, he or she stands to appreciate the gift more, and eventually becomes prone to committing random acts of kindness.
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Gift Ideas! BABIES Let’s face facts - baby's first birthday will become etched in his/her memory through the pictures he/she sees later on, and not by actually remembering the grand event. The same will go for all the fanfare of the party and the gifts he/she receives. You can use this opportunity to give a gift that keeps on giving! Look for something that baby will treasure for many birthdays to come – from a keepsake to cash in the bank, and make his/her first (or not) birthday memorable.
LITTLE KIDS Get creative with gifts for little kids, who luckily are not yet completely mesmerized by modern marketing geniuses. Look for traditional and classic gift ideas that will engage kids to both learn and play at the same time. Legos, books and wooden train sets are still cool to this young set.
BIG KIDS To avoid your present becoming a part of a gift landfill, you may want to find out what your birthday boy or girl really likes. This is the age and stage when kids have already ‘come into their own’ and are very often pretty specific with their likes and dislikes. This age group tends to be heavily influenced by what’s hot and what’s not, so it would suit you to do a little investigating before you go shopping. Gift-giving rule-of-thumb: Don’t break the bank - Always create and stay within your budget!
“This year for her birthday, my 9 year-old daughter said that she didn’t want any presents for herself, and instead asked all her guests to bring a pair of shoes to donate to charity. She received 38 pairs of shoes, which she took to a local children’s home two days after her party. I don’t think there was a prouder mother on planet Earth that day!” - Janelle, mother of 9-year-old Anna
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“ GIFTS COME THE BEST
FROM THE HEART,
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NOT THE STORE.
- Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key
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Celebrating Babies .
THE BABY SHOWER Your girlfriend/sister/cousin is expecting and you’re ready to throw her a big bash to celebrate! Here’s our two cents on how to get it done simply and effectively. If you’re hiring a planner, then you’ll only need to follow the first few points. If you’re going it alone, or without professional help, here’s what works well for us. Event planning websites and articles will advise that you should start planning about two months before. We’ve done this many times, and recommend that you can safely start at least one month before. The key to any successful event is to plan well. If it’s not a surprise, discuss with mummy-to-be the date, time and place that best suits her. Get from her a list of things she still needs/wants and ask her to provide you with a list of the people she’d like to invite, and be sure to get their addresses and phone numbers. If it is a surprise, you’ll have to get creative in procuring all the above information without the help of mommyto-be. Decide on the theme, and a lot will fall immediately into place. Your theme, whether a colour scheme or a concept, will determine your décor, food type and certainly your invitations and favours. As with most celebratory events, the cake is the centre of attention; so make it fabulous! Consider the motherto-be’s taste and take it up a notch with a modern take on some age-old traditions.
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Patta Cake... Patta Cake Bakers Mom!
Nadene Lazarus
She has been recognized as the Observer Food Awards Outstanding Baker for two consecutive years; 2013 and
2014. A most deserving accolade for this sweet (yes, pun intended) mother of 3, who turned a simple birthday cake for her son into a thriving passion for making moments to celebrate both memorable and extremely delicious.
“M
y son loved Diego, so I decided to try my hand at a designer cake. I’ve always loved baking, but this was unchartered territory for me, so I studied Diego (laughs). I printed pictures, watched the show, and then got to work. It took me a very long time, and included a few mistakes, but I did it! I was so proud of myself.” “Why I do what I do? I love it!” Baking is a passion. It’s a full-time job, even if you have another full-time job, which she does! Nadene started baking Easter buns and Christmas puddings having developed a love for the kitchen after her mother’s Sunday traditions of baked treats. Feeding her friends and family sweet treats slowly evolved into countless requests for cakes and cupcakes from far and wide. Nadene's favourite cake? “Almost impossible to choose! That’s like asking which one of my children I love best!”
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LIFE LESSONS FROM A CAKE Patience. You can’t rush baking. It’s as simple as that. Everything takes a prescribed amount of time, and if you force it - as in rush it or cut corners, it just doesn’t come out right. Consistency. Being able to deliver a constant and dependable product is important to me. Much like the way those who know me know what to expect from me as a friend or colleague or mother. I’m exactly the person they expect me to be. I’ve found that being patient and consistent has helped me to become worthy of the trust of my children, my clients and my friends and family in general.
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Asked to create a cake to celebrate baby’s arrival, Nadene used her mastery to shower blessings of purity of mind and soul, beauty and courage with a lotus-themed cake. The cake was devoid of the standard pinks and boasted hidden treasures of sleeping cherubs.
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end invitations; whether e-vites or physical, and be sure to follow up for RSVPs. You’ll need to know how many guests to expect, especially if the shower is a small and intimate one. Small baby showers tend to be very personal, and generally attended by close-knit circles of family and friends. Plan your games and if you know most of the guests on the list, you’ll have a pretty good idea of which games will work best and contribute to a fun-filled evening for the mother-to-be. Once your entertainment is decided, hit the stores and get all the items you’ll need, including decorations, favours and prizes. Keep a running to-do list so you can reference it at any time during planning and on the day of the shower. Wherever possible, delegate tasks to willing friends and family of the mummy-to-be. Don’t forget to ask someone to make note of all the gifts received and secure all the well-wishing cards. She will treasure these for years to come and will especially enjoy sharing them with her baby. Do find a way to make sure all your guests feel a part of this special moment. Sometimes the daddy-to-be’s
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family may not be as close or know everyone and end up feeling left out. It can help sometimes to have everyone wear their name and their connection to the baby, or you can have more fun with it and play a game where people may wear a fun fact about themselves as a baby to get people talking quickly and break the ice. This is a good idea for larger showers. Whatever your theme and the size of the shower try to include as many meaningful moments as possible. One of the best things you can do at shower is create a sharing circle where all the mommies, experienced and new, trade their stories, mostly the good and a little bit of the ugly, so that she is reminded that she will be okay, no matter how tough it may feel at times, and that she has a circle she can come to because they all understand. There really is so much you can do to pull off the best shower ever, from decor to food to games. But most of all make sure that your mommy-to-be is comfortable! Give her a nice comfy chair, maybe a little pillow to prop her back, an ottoman to put her feet up, and if she is a wine lover pour her a beautiful sparkling spritzer, sans alcohol of course, and let her relax and enjoy this most special day!
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Beyond
I Scream for Soy Cream T .
by Natalie Nash
here has never been, and never will be, a bad time for ice cream. Whether its lazy afternoons with the family, cool evenings with friends or sad nights alone, ice cream is like that perfect pair of shoes – it goes with everything. Jamaica has had a particularly prolific love affair with ice cream. Devon House Ice Cream Parlor, featuring our very own Jamaican developed ice cream formula, is rated as the number 4 best place in the world to eat ice cream according to a National Geographic poll. But these sweet treats can have sour consequences for your health. So how do we balance dessert indulgence with waistline moderation? Soy ice cream has been around for decades, but it is not just the non-dairy alternative for those among us cursed with lactose intolerance. It’s also a guilt-free way to enjoy one of life’s guiltiest pleasures. While not necessarily considered a health food because
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it possesses no additional vitamins or minerals, it is a far healthier alternative to traditional ice cream. According to Livestrong.com when compared to regular ice cream soy milk ice cream is typically lower in calories, total and saturated fat, sugars and sodium, but higher in dietary fiber. While Devon house isn’t yet offering alternatives for those of us trying to indulge without overindulging, there is a local spot to get your soy fix. Enter Deborah Belcher, CEO of Debz Non-Dairy Ice Cream and Sorbet. Started in early 2010, Deborah developed a dairyfree ice cream treat to fit in with her vegan lifestyle. Four years later, she’s won herself acclaim as a master businesswoman and exquisite tastemaker, and her ice-cream is enjoyed by vegans and meat eaters alike. Debz is available in 12 dizzying flavours: coconut, grapenut, vanilla, chocolate, rum and raisin, stout, coffee, honey toasted almonds, and coconut pineapple, as well as her sorbet flavours in sorrel, Otaheite apple and mango. With the recent Buy Jamaica
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campaign steeped in controversy over traditional Jamaican brands not actually being made in Jamaica, Debz remains a brand manufactured in Jamaica, and uses 100% Jamaican ingredients. Debz brand also prides themselves on using 100% all natural ingredients. In a world where most supermarket products have no expiry date and you can’t understand any of the words on the ingredients label – it’s refreshing to pick up an item in the aisles and know exactly what’s in it, and by extension exactly what you are putting into your body. For anyone trying to live a healthier lifestyle, this is a must. Available in major supermarkets islandwide, this alternative to “regular” ice cream is only a quick trip away. With Debz brand non-dairy ice cream, your body will be able to tell that you’ve made the switch, but it’s a guarantee that your taste-buds won’t.
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I
Books
f we surveyed 100 mothers, I’m willing to bet that 99 of them would share at least one common desire; the need for a break. I’m not talking about a short 15-minute break to have a cup of coffee. I'm referring to an often elusive, pie-in-the-sky kind of break, where there are no questions or complaints, tears or whining, drop-offs or pick-ups…you get the drift. At some point in a mother’s life, the thought crosses her mind, but then reality reminds her that that dream is most definitely a dream. Or is it? Is there really a workable solution to the chaotic beauty of parenting, working and also living a fulfilling life outside of our children? There is no shortage of advice on the topic with so many books and articles published daily. We found 2 books that hit the nail on the head for every busy mother out there – 2 different, but solutionoriented approaches that identify easy-to-implement practices. There really is a solution for all categories of moms! Check out Luly B and Rachel Macy Stafford, who shine lights so bright that we have no choice but to see it…good thing is, it’s not at the end of the tunnel. Both books are available at amazon.com. Be sure to get your copy today! .
BALANCE IS BULL$H!T By Lourdes “Luly B.” Carreras-Balepogi
Written by expert speaker and Marketing Consultant, Luly B tackles a heart-wrenching topic for working mothers everywhere: the difficult choices a career mother must face when deciding between her obligations to her children and family, and the career that she loves and/or needs. Written with grace, humour and wisdom, Luly B takes the reader through her journey of trying to find that perfect balance between her professional and personal obligations. Her journey has become a movement to help professional women get over the guilt, self-doubt, and fear that prevent women from truly living the happy lives they are meant to enjoy. An inspiring and yet practical guide. www.lulyb.com • www.facebook.com/lulyblulyb www.twitter.com/lulybtweets
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HANDS FREE MAMA By Rachel Macy Stafford
We’re all guilty of ‘device overload’. Whether it’s the cell phone, the iPad, the laptop….there’s always something that is distracting us from our children. Rachel Macy Stafford, author of the best-selling book Hands Free Mama, was tired of losing track of what matters most in life. She began practicing simple strategies that enabled her to momentarily let go of largely meaningless distractions and engage in meaningful soul-to-soul connections. She started a blog to chronicle her endeavours and soon saw how both external and internal distractions had been sabotaging her happiness and preventing her from bonding with the people she loves most. Hands Free Mama is the digital society’s answer to finding balance in a media-saturated, perfectionobsessed world. It doesn’t mean giving up all technology forever. It doesn’t mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. It means looking our loved ones in the eye and giving them the gift of our undivided attention, leaving the laundry till later to dance with our kids in the rain, and living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions. “Being Hands Free matters. Before, I was holding on to the wrong things and missing out on life. Finally, I am holding on to what matters, and it has given my life new meaning. Come on and join me; grasp what really matters to you and then start living.” – Rachel Macy Stafford www.handsfreemama.com rachelstafford@handsfreemama.com
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Insurance meets investment Affirm Universal Life It’s the insurance policy that’s also an investment. Your policy and your premiums are customized to fit your lifestyle. • Choose from multiple investment funds to match your investment goals • Tailor life insurance coverage to meet your protection needs • Add Accidental Death and Dismemberment and/or Critical Illness Coverage Speak with a Scotia Insurance representative and discover insurance with insurance.
Visit Jamaica.scotiabank.com/affirm The value of the investment funds is not guaranteed, the value may rise or fall. For more details talk to a Scotia Insurance representative or go online. ™Trademark of The Bank of Nova Scotia, used under license.
Beyond
I Am Living In 2 Homes With Garcelle Beauvais Interview: Michelle Gordon Photography: J Squared Photography
B3 chats with Hollywood actor Garcelle Beauvais as she releases her latest book in the I Am Book
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Series. Garcelle, who hails from Haiti, created the stories with co-author Sebastian A. Jones, as a way for children to affirm self-identity and to celebrate who they are.
T
he books address topics that are traditionally not the focus of children’s stories, but are a reality in the lives of many, the world over. I Am Mixed was the first book, and it looked at some of the challenges faced by bi and multiracial children. “Our second book, I Am Living in 2 Homes, is aimed to help both parents and children navigate through the complexities of divorce and separation. Our books are written from a child’s perspective, so as to not lose the innocence, wonder, and hope, that we as adults sometimes forget,” explains Garcelle. Here she shares more with us on her role as a single mom to 5-year-old twin boys Jax and Jaid, and 23-year-old Oliver.
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We love that you’ve shared part of your personal story through the eyes of the characters in this book. How did the creative process affect you while writing? It’s was especially difficult when I saw the words with the illustration, it tore at my heart but it’s important to start the conversation and make my boys feel secure in their circumstance of living in two homes.
How, if any at all were your boys involved in the writing of this book?
Jax and Jaid help with deciding what animal characters to put on each page. They were very cute about it and took it seriously.
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What do you think is the best way for a co-parenting couple to build family memories without creating false hope for the children?
I feel by being at the kids school events, games, birthday parties together as a family in a civilized way. Those are memories the kids will always have knowing both parents could be there for them.
What are your greatest challenges as a single mother?
I miss my kids so much when they’re not with me. At first it was trying to keep myself busy and rediscovering me when I’m not on mom mode. Also knowing if they wake up in the middle of the night when they're at dad’s and I can’t be there to comfort them is difficult.
Is counseling an important part of the healing process for children affected by divorce, or do you believe that parents can handle it on their own?
How do you think your Caribbean heritage affects your parenting style? I can be strict, and good manners are important and respecting adults
As a single mom, how do you balance one-on-one time with your 3 boys? Well, my oldest is 23 so we’ll go have lunch, or go to a movie. With the little guys sometimes finding one-on-one time with them can be challenging, but even if it’s when one is in the bath, I can check in with them. Buy "I am Living in 2 Homes" on amazon.com
It depends on the child and how much the change is affecting them.
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Back to School Syndrome .
Surviving the New School Year By Rachael McDonald
School uniforms? Check! School shoes? Check! Tissue for Mummy? Check!
I
What next?...
t’s officially that time of year when a conjecture of feelings takes refuge in your stomach. Nervousness, curiosity, relief, separation anxiety and even happiness engorge your insides. So many emotions are to blame for however ill or well prepared you feel for the weeks before, during & after that fast approaching September morning. Memories of “washouts,” “going to bed early” and “crying for your own Mum or Dad” replay in your head as you try to strike a balance with the déjà vu-like feelings from your childhood and your current parenting style. Regardless, the reality of Back to School Syndrome can take a toll on you (as it probably is right now). Such
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a set of symptoms can subsequently affect how your children transition to school, whether your little one is going out for the first time or not. The not so good news?! Preparing for the new school year is demanding. And, like everything else related to your child, requires careful thought as you plan and execute. The good news?! You will survive the new school year. As with any set of symptoms, the effects vary mildly to severely accordingly. There are guidelines and of course medicine (sometimes bitter pills) to help you digest what you’re going through. Here are my suggestions for dealing with this:
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ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU FEEL
Whatever and however you’re feeling is perfectly fine right now. Thinking that you are a worrywart, that you’re paranoid, over-protective, out of the loop or not ready for this milestone, are all very common to first time mothers and to mothers who’ve “been here and done this” before.
It’s important that you identify your feelings and accept your emotions as they are. Don’t try to hide them and pretend they don’t exist, because you know fully well that they are real and may just be the reason for that extra strand of gray in your hair.
GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST!
Once you acknowledge how you feel, it’s good to be the Caribbean woman that you are and get it off your chest. Talk about your feelings. Share them with someone who can help you. Yes, pick up the phone and don’t be afraid to send that ‘Whatsapp’ message to your child’s teacher or school team. Teachers today are pretty easy to get a hold of and usually want to hear your concerns and questions,
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especially since the transition involves them. Developing a relationship from the start of the school year with your child’s teacher and school team sets the tone for the weeks, months and year to come. No, they won’t hate you. Yes, they will respect your honesty and value the commitment and relationship you have with your child a lot more.
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M RE RENEWABLE ENERGY We’ve added two hydroelectric plants and one wind farm in the past 5 years, as part of our efforts to reduce energy costs. The recently commissioned 7.2MW Maggotty Hydroelectric Power Plant will save the country 70,000 barrels of imported oil during 2014. This will translate into savings of approximately $700M for our customers. And there’s more to come. JPS will be partnering with other investors to add more renewable energy over the next 2 years, to help reduce Jamaica’s reliance on expensive imported oil for electricity generation. .
You can play your part by taking control of your electricity usage. For energy conservation support visit: www.jpsco.com
1-888-225-5577 (LIME) 1-888-935-5577 (Digicel)
www.jpsco.com
Beyond OPEN YOUR EARS & LISTEN
School teams are a lot more familiar with back to school than parents. It literally is something they do year after year with many different children. They’ve dealt with the tears from children; had to call parents to collect little ones because they haven’t stopped crying; passed out tissue and offered hugs to Mums and Dads more than once. They have brainstormed, observed and implemented best practice strategies to support parents and children through this period. The plan of actions that have been carefully crafted
by the team has your child in mind, so listening to the team and really digesting what they say makes sense. If they suggest an orientation session to come in a few minutes early to help your little one settle in, to say goodbye amidst tears,- you probably want to do what they say. Then what? Then you breathe. Breathe through your emotions and get busy preparing your child for what lies ahead.
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GET READY FOR SCHOOL
Avoid being the parent who throws her child into a new situation and expects her to adjust superbly. Talk to your child about the new school year and what it will entail. Kids always have questions, whether they voice them or not, they want to know… is there school every day? All day? Who should she go to if she feels scared? Can she take her favourite toy to school? How will school be different? Believe it or not, children are a lot smarter than you think, and they understand pretty easily. Talk with them and not merely at them. Getting specific details from school and sharing what you can with your kids
is critical. Preparing them to know what to expect is a must. Sometimes even talking about this can be scary for you. Remember, your children pick up on your energy so if you’re feeling apprehensive, they will probably feel so too. A great way to work through uneasiness is to get involved in the process. Get your children to go out ‘back to school’ shopping with you. Have her choose her backpack, lay out her school supplies and label her own belongings. This involvement helps make the transition smoother in so many ways.
JUST BEGIN
Lastly, don’t get cold feet on the night before school when the tears begin to flow and separation suddenly feels like death. If you don’t start now, you will have to start later. And chances are you will eventually face the tears and feelings of uncertainty then too. Feelings are feelings; you simply have to work through them.
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Remember, sometimes symptoms have to run their course; they don’t last forever. Once they are identified they are easy to treat. Rachael McDonald has her M.Sc. in Education and is the Director of Fundaciones Limited – a bi-lingual school located in Kingston and Montego Bay, Jamaica. Contact her at rmcdonald@learnthefun.com
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Let's Do Lunch Pre-School Perfection for either your boy or girl. A great tool not just for toting a yummy lunch, but let’s practice some letterrecognition while we’re at it! www.oreoriginals.com
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How perfectly prim and proper! Your little princess will love Pocchari and her pearls, and you’ll love the fact that this spacious lunch bag is well-insulated to keep the desired temperature for several hours, it wipes clean in a jiffy and it’s as cute as it is sturdy.
“Houston? We’ve solved that problem!” A world of wonder comes to life when Dieter dons his spacesuit and sparks your child’s imagination. Pack those zero-gravity snacks, and let’s fill those little crater-tummies with an awesome lunar lunch filled with love! “I bought a Dante Beatrix bag for my son 2 years ago. He only stopped carrying it because he got too ‘big’ to carry a lunchbag to school. It never looked old or worn for the 2 years that he carried it. Amazing!” Julie, mother of 6 year-old Sam. (Jamaica) www.beatrixny.com
Fantastic Finds!
SQUATCHI If you’ve got young children, you’ll be all too familiar with growth spurts and what may seem like overnight size changes. You’ll also know that these sudden growth periods can call for unplanned shopping for shoes for these young children. Well, we’ve found a #problemsolver for mothers who shop online, or for those who prefer going in-store without the kids in-tow. Check out Squatchi – an affordable at-home shoe-sizer, designed for getting the perfect fit every time. And the best part is it’s not just a shoesizer, it’s a great keepsake! $44.99 www.squatchi.com
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Dolphin Cove .
Ask the average tourist what comes to mind when they think of the
Caribbean, and I’m willing to bet that 9 out of 10 will say the beach.
It’s quite likely what we’re most
by Michelle Gordon Photography by Dwayne Watkins
famous for, with our sun, sand and seas ranking us high on the list of travellers from near and far. Our beaches are amazing for sure, but there’s more!
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here’s a place where the waves meet a rocky barrier that protects graceful stingrays, playful dolphins and mysterious sharks. And the majestic ocean animals guard an amazing nature trail that has the power to both excite and calm you at the same time. Explore with us as six bright-eyed and inquisitive little children hike, swim and frolic at Jamaica’s beautiful Dolphin Cove. Dolphin Cove Ocho Rios is the largest marine attraction in the Caribbean, sitting on 5 acres of lush lands against the backdrop of blue seas. Despite the name Dolphin Cove, the park has more to offer than just dolphins, and is an ideal experience for children of all ages. Imagine 6 children all under 10-years-old at the beautiful Ocho Rios property - swimsuit and sun blockready for the fun-filled day. Though excited to swim with the dolphins, the children decide to visit the rain forest to start. 9-year-old Anna, the eldest in the group, suggests “Let’s walk around first, and get wet last!” Smart move kiddo! Dolphin Cove, Jamaica’s # 1 attraction, offers the experience of a lifetime of swimming with beautiful bottlenose dolphins in a natural lagoon in the Caribbean Sea. Guests can choose from several amazing activities, from the Dolphin “Encounter”, where guests can become friends with these gentle creatures, to the Dolphin “Swim”, where one feels the excitement of the water gushing by as you get to ride one dolphin belly to belly, or the “Ultimate Swim”, where guests interact with two dolphins and have the opportunity to feel the thrill of a foot push and/ or dorsal pull and play time. Include some time with the sharks and sting rays, and you're guaranteed an adventure even Taz the Tasmanian Devil would enjoy! Begin your journey on the trail where you can feed the birds, and enjoy the variety of colours, sizes and personalities. “Look!” exclaims 6 year-old Amanda, “the bird is eating out of my hand!” From macaws, to parrots to love birds; all seemingly thrilled to be eating out of the palms of their hands. “Children, and adults alike, have an incredible opportunity to be up close and personal with so many of the animals that they have come to know and love from the pages of their storybooks, to the characters on the television sets,” explains Manager Alexei Russell. “It never fails to spark their imaginations, and excite their little minds. For so many children, Dolphin Cove is first-time experience .
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"CHILDREN... HAVE AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY TO BE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH SO MANY OF THE ANIMALS THAT THEY HAVE COME TO KNOW AND LOVE FROM THE PAGES OF THEIR STORYBOOKS"
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KNOW BEFORE YOU GO! ˏˏ
The park is open from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm seven days a week. (Reservations are required for all Dolphin and Shark programs)
ˏˏ “ENCOUNTER” the Dolphins: Make friends, “touch” and have an up close experience with the dolphins on the shallow water platform. (Children 5 years and under are free with a paying adult; one child per paying adult) ˏˏ “SWIM” with the Dolphins:
meeting and touching such beautiful and exotic creatures as if they were pets.” “I’ve been to the zoo before, but the animals are always far away. I have never come this close to an iguana,” exclaims 6-year-old Zara, excited from her encounter with Lexi the gentle giant! Dolphin Cove caters to all swimmer strengths; so whether you’re an expert or a novice there’s a dolphin experience created just for you. All activities and interactions at Dolphin Cove are chaperoned, giving guests the opportunity to ask questions, make comments, and to learn about their experiences. The exciting dolphin experience takes you swimming with the dolphins, and has you holding onto their dorsal fins while being pulled at top speeds through the water. For a greater thrill, you may enjoy being hoisted up in the air by two dolphins by the bottom of your feet so it feels like you’re flying through the air. Each dolphin experience lasts about 45 minutes and doesn’t contain a single dull moment. Each guest at Dolphin Cove has the freedom to structure their day according to their plan, as programmes are repeated at scheduled intervals. Include in your day out some time with the sting rays, and enjoy another Dolphin-Cove created experience. With stings removed (of course), wade in a waist-high enclosure with the gentle creatures, or venture into the deep for a more intense interaction with these beautiful creatures. Get your laugh on as the Dolphin Cove Pirates entertain and teach about the sharks. Take a break at any time to sit for lunch, and pick up some hand-crafted items, including art and locally made craft from the Gift Shop. But whatever you do, don’t leave Dolphin Cove Ocho Rios without visiting and devouring ice cream from the Ice Cream Parlour on property. After an activity-filled day in the sun, you would have deserved every the sweet treat down to the very last drop!
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Swim with one dolphin, play, be kissed and caressed, by dolphin and enjoy a belly to belly ride while swimming in deep water. Children must be able to swim, and should be 8 years and older to participate.
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Enjoy an “ULTIMATE SWIM” with the dolphins: Just like the Swim programme, but this includes foot push and/or dorsal pull, and pet and play time.
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Swim, Hold,& Pet the Stingrays. Don’t worry, it’s safe! All stingrays have had their barbs surgically removed by the veterinarian.
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Children 7 years and under may participate in the Swim Programs only if the child is a good swimmer and accompanied by a paying adult.
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EXPLORE Try Glass bottom Kayaking along the amazing and fascinating coast line to view the spectacular beauty of the underworld.
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Want to Captain your own ship? Try this first! Relish the thrill of being Captain of your own boat as you go exploring on the waves of the Caribbean Sea during the Mini Boat Ride
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Try snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea. Complimentary snorkels and masks provided. Simply Amazing!
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Check out the exciting and thrilling Shark Show.
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Stroll the Rain Forest and interact with exotic birds, snakes and iguanas.
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Beware of pirates as you stroll “Little Port Royal”, a replica of Jamaica’s most famous pirate’s haunt.
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Shop along the Boardwalk of the Pirate Village for jewelry, hand crafted items, and unique souvenirs.
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WORK FOR A DAY as a SEA KEEPER at Dolphin Cove in Negril
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Enjoy a rare opportunity to work with dolphins, sharks, stingrays and other creatures of the sea, where professional animal trainers take you behind the scenes of the secret lives of dolphins. Assist in food preparation, intimate feeding and behavior interaction with dolphins, sharks and stingrays whilst being educated with hands on training techniques used by the professionals. Participants must be 10 years and over, in good physical condition and be able to swim. All guests will be required to sign a waiver form for Admission and all activities. For reservations, contact Dolphin Cove at 876-974-5335, 876-795-0484, 876-795-2272
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St. James Club Morgan Bay Images provided by St. James’s Club Morgan Bay, Elite Island Resorts.
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he Caribbean remains atop the list of many travellers in search of the perfect vacation destination. Why the Caribbean? The reasons, for many, range from sunny skies and sandy shores to tropical climes and island hospitality. Throw children into the mix and you have a traveller who wants all that, and so much more. If you’re a parent who’s ever tried vacationing with your children, you’ll appreciate first-hand, the value and beauty of child-friendly vacation property. Set that location against the background of the world-famous Les Pitons, almost unchangeable 88-degree weather, and some of the nicest people you’ll encounter, and escape with us to the beautiful St. James Club Morgan Bay nestled into a private cove on the northern coast of Saint Lucia. With a wide array of accommodation types, activities and amenities, the all-inclusive, family-friendly St. James’s Club Morgan Bay, an Elite Island Resort, is ideal for families seeking a fun and relaxing tropical getaway on the picturesque island of Saint Lucia. As a part of its comprehensive all-inclusive program, the resort offers all of the following: all meals and beverages (including premium alcoholic drinks for adults) at six distinct restaurants and four bars; countless water sports such as kayaking, windsurfing, paddle boarding and more; land activities such as tennis, beach volleyball, Pilates and more; and a fully equipped fitness center. The kids’ club is open daily for 2 to 11 year olds (children must be potty-trained and able to communicate) from 9:00 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., allowing parents some free time and providing kids with great vacation experiences such as cooking classes, kids yoga, beach games and treasure hunts, all supervised by resort staff. The resort also offers evening supervision for children ages 4 to 11 from 7:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Parents can enjoy a romantic private dinner while the kids have their own fun with an in-house mini disco, karaoke, Wii games and more, all under the supervision of trained staff. For adventurous guests, a variety of off-property excursions can be arranged, including zip lines, jeep safari tours, rainforest treks with sky rides in open-air gondolas and nature encounters with dolphins, whales and more. With so many offerings, Morgan Bay ensures that guests will return home with a full, memorable experience in St. Lucia. .
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To book visit www.stjamesclubstlucia.com or call 800-771-4711. A VACATIONING PARENT’S DREAM:
“Our kids’ club provides an incredible value for families, especially larger families of varying age groups. The variety of activities offered at the club ensures that every child will be entertained. For the active child, we offer friendly competitions in volleyball, badminton and even beach cricket. For aspiring chefs, we have a junior chef class. Little Picassos will get in on the action too through arts and crafts such as jewelry making, tie dying and sand crafts, which make the perfect souvenir. After the sun sets, the fun continues with an inhouse mini disco featuring karaoke, Wii games and more, allowing parents to have a special date night.” Janice Victorin, Activities Manager St. James’s Club Morgan Bay, Saint Lucia:
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Beyond
In Search Of Me Time by Elena Diedrick-Lynch
Aren’t we all on a perpetual
treadmill searching for ourselves? Between the bills, babies, school commitments, play dates and oh yeah – work, our needs tend to .
become muddled in the martini shaker that is our lives. It’s just more apparent as we become parents that we really have to make a conscious effort to focus on our own well-being. We’ve become so accustomed to this constant juggling act that it’s become our new normal. I always find it funny when I see my life through the eyes of my single friends; to them I’m walking birth control!
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’m a simple girl. I love a day at the beach and a cup of tea in the evening. I can’t tell you the last time I had the time to finish a book. I rarely have enough energy to keep up with the kaleidoscope of challenges that present on a daily basis. But I love my kids, my husband, my career and this crazy life I call mine. I wish I had more time to do more yoga and work out, have wine with friends, travel…and the list goes on. But to me, being in search of you is about finding the little moments in life to make it all a little easier to manage. When my babies were younger I lived for naps and play dates. Naptime was so important to me, I got to enjoy the quiet and just be still. During play dates, I got to spend time with grown ups and participate in
mutually stimulating conversation. When they grew into the terrific toddler years, it became more challenging to find those little moments but I still managed to catch a few as they flew by. As children become more independent, it’s easier to organize an activity or craft for them, and you can sit nearby and watch while you take a breather. I particularly loved the mummy group I joined when my oldest was little. It gave me a group of like-minded mummies to converse with once a week. We grew into great friends and created a solace and refuge for one another …whenever we can find enough time to spend together. The irony of life is that we’ll always feel like we don’t have enough time, but we’re all given the same twentyfour hours in a day, its how we use it that really counts.
SO HERE'S MY ADVICE 1.
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Take The Time. If you have a window of time, fill it with YOU time. A yoga class, a walk around your neighbourhood, some well-needed gym time. It’s amazing how a little exercise can clear your mind and calm your internal madness. Go Out Alone. My friends used to make fun of me because I took my kids everywhere when they were little – the supermarket, the tax office, you name it! I wanted to expose them so they would know how to behave when we were in public spaces. What I didn’t realize was that for my girlfriends - that public space was their quiet time. Date Night. Remember underneath all of the spit up and crumbs you’re still a woman. Set up a weekly date night to remind yourself of that! Shave your legs, put on your heels, and go have some fun! Girls Night – We all have a few special ladies in our lives and its therapeutic to spend time and connect with your chosen family. Add a few glasses of wine and you’re set! Just for You – Do one thing a week that’s just for you. Call a sitter or grandma & grandpa, jeez, reach out to your God Parents if needs be – just leave the kids at home and go grab some sanity. Get your nails done, cut your hair, go to the dentist – it doesn’t matter, just something that can relax you and help take care of either your mental, physical or emotional well-being. We spend all our time taking care of others – don’t lose yourself in the process!
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Drink Water – And plenty of it! It keeps us hydrated and focused, flushes away toxins and regulates our body’s temperature.
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7. Eat! Snacks aren’t just for the Kids! Don’t skip meals; a hungry mummy is an angry or flustered mummy! Always have a fruit, some nuts or a granola bar in your purse and eat your 3 main meals every day – we need to stay healthy and strong for our pickaninnies. 8. Breathe. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, I have to stop and breathe – just breathe. Even my kids do it now. Twenty deep breaths before we go another step. It really works to calm everyone down! 9.
Have Sex! Come on you know you’ll be happier, you relieve stress and yes it’s the best cure for a headache. Put on a pretty nightie – or no nightie at all and remind yourself that once, not so long ago, you were just a girl in love.
10. Be positive. Sometimes it’s all about attitude and trying to focus on the solutions and not the problems. Don’t waste time stressing the what if’s, we have no control of those. Focus on the now and leave the “what ifs” to evolve just as they’re intended to. So put the phone down, go out and consciously chose to put yourself first. Schedule time within your daily to do’s for you. Call and catch up with a friend, have a power nap, enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. Take time out and savour it. Aren’t you worth it? Be Blissful! Parenthood, it's a journey. Not a destination. Contact Blissful Mummy at elena@blissfulmummy.com
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Sex and the Single Mum .
By Ginger Jones, Nassau, Bahamas
There it was, staring right back at me, in the same
way it had almost exactly two years ago to the day. In the same airport terminal bookstore in North Carolina. 50 Shades of Grey. I smiled in an all-knowing way and considered all that had happened since I bought that book back in the summer of 2012.
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ack then I was newly forty and newly single. With three kids. Totally unexpectedly. It was not a place I had ever even imagined. And I had no idea what to do once I found myself there. I was standing, heartbroken in a bookstore during a layover on my way to a conference in Connecticut, a long way from my little island home in The Bahamas. My mind was so tired. I had been trying to understand how a man can walk out on his family after 14 years together. I had been trying to figure it out, unsuccessfully, for six months. I knew I had a long and lonely 4 nights ahead of me, and I could feel despair clutching my heart as I considered being alone in the world. I knew I needed some senseless “summer reading”, something to distract me from long nights of too much wine and Facebook. So I bought it and I read it in one night, instead of surfing the net or taking another 3-hour long bath just to pass the time. I read. And it was rubbish. But I couldn’t stop reading. And after my conference the next day I found the nearest bookstore and bought the other two. And I devoured them as well. As an English major, it was a deliciously frivolous thing to do. As I read, I found myself mourning the loss of my sex life. Not that it had ever approached the salaciousness of the acts described in the books, but at least I had been able to rely on completely staid, uninspiring sex once or twice a month. I had accepted that as normal. I was a mother. I wasn’t meant to want more. Was I? But now, even that was lost. How depressing. Reading those terribly written (and yes! deliciously entertaining) books did more than keep me distracted during those four long days in Hartford; they also planted a seed. They flipped an internal switch. I promised myself that if I actually survived my husband leaving me, and if I ever found a man who was interested in dating a 40 plus woman with 3 kids and an almost non-existent bank account, I’d make the most of it. Sexually that is.
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pportunity knocked less than want it. Frankly, you just don’t have the time to have it any other one month later with an outway. It is a deliberate act, a choice to do magical things for yourself. of-the-blue phone call from an After years and years of putting yourself after your children and ex-boyfriend. The universe was your husband, sex as a single mum suddenly, thankfully, becomes giving me another chance and about you! You have to carve out those precious moments in this time I was determined not to between car pools and Christmas plays, and when you do, they are blow it. Yay! Universe. We talked all for you. None of us single-mums-having-sex is thinking about a lot. He was in Canada, I was in the laundry when we get those moments. We are thinking, “I have The Bahamas. Skype created a safe place for me. I could say what earned this. I want this. I deserve this. I have cleaned toilets, read I wanted and yet still feel protected by the distance between us. bedtime stories, washed dishes: I DESERVE THIS!” It was intense. After 6 weeks, we planned to meet in Miami. We he nice thing about being married for 14 years is that I planned every detail. It was exciting and exhilarating. And when I knew exactly what I did not want in a sexual partner. I stepped into that hotel room, three hours before he arrived, I could also knew that I had to speak up. It wasn’t my husband’s hardly stand. My legs shook with nervousness and anticipation. fault for being lousy in bed, it was mine because I never He did not disappoint me. It was an electric moment. I let go of told him. I spent years of faking orgasms just so it would be over and everything. I let go of pain and rejection and worry and heartbreak I could get back to my book, or check on the kids. He thought he and I focused on each moment as it happened. It was transformative. was a sexual god, I thought I was going to die of boredom. So now, I was reborn. the new liberated me has learned to speak up. At 41, I discovered Sex at 40 is worlds apart from sex at 26. It’s better. And, trust me, “sexting”. Sending out those little messages in the middle of the day, sex with a new man after you’ve been sleeping with the same old or while walking the aisles at the supermarket made me feel like I (not very good!) partner for 14 years and you’ve convinced yourself was 20 again. that you will never be loved again, is mind blowing. Gone is the Two years into a relationship that I thought was going to be a awkward, self-conscious doubt. Replaced by a glorious confidence fling to “get me back in the saddle again” I am still learning things which must stem from the fact that although this body does not that I never even considered in my old life. I have learned to take look quite the same as it did at 26, it’s still pretty fantastic. After time for myself and not to feel guilty about it. We live in different all it survived the birth of three kids, and more than 48 months of countries and we only see each other for a few days every six breast feeding. Once you have been pregnant, you know how to ask months. But when we do...well, someone should write a book about for what you want. You learned this during those months when you it, really. For the first time in a very long time, I feel in control of demanded hot peppers with your ice cream, foot rubs in the movies my life. I schedule those visits and I pay for them with money that I and all those pillows placed in perfect sequence to keep you and have earned. There is a very real freedom in that, and that freedom your baby, comfortable (for at least 11 continuous minutes). translates, for me, to the bedroom. And, honestly, I’m having the Sex as a single mother is about getting what you want, when you time of my life!
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We know that it’s a different story for each mother going the parenting journey solo. For some it’s a breeze, while for others, well let’s say the wind has it’s way with them. We asked a few single mothers to give us their thoughts on sex in their city!
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ex is non-existent for me! My one and only focus is my daughter – financially, emotionally and physically. Plus, I don’t need a second child in my headspace – especially one who isn’t actually a child. Sex is overrated anyway. I’ve been celibate since my daughter’s conception, and that’s over three years ago. I like the simple life. - Francine, mother of 2-year-old Solae
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y husband and I separated when our son was 4 years old. Sexually, he was easily (and quickly) replaced by my toys very shortly after his departure. I was busy changing so many things in my life that I didn’t even focus on the fact that I was single. 3 years on from that,
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I’m starved for non-battery operated attention. I have an on-again, off-again man in my life but my challenge now is that sex for the sake of just sex, has lost its appeal for me; I want more. I’m a package deal now, and want someone who will fill my need for companionship and also for sexual satisfaction. Monique, mother of 8-year-old Alex
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s the mother of a postteenaged child, sex for me is an absolute necessity. I still have a need to protect my image in the eyes of my daughter. So sex for me, outside of an established relationship poses its own unique set of problems. I’m not presently in an exclusive relationship, but I do exercise
my womanhood with a ‘friend-withbenefits’ who is okay in a non-committal relationship. One major challenge is that of the simple logistics of entertaining my after-dark friend without having to introduce him to my daughter. Another challenge is that it becomes necessary to contain my expressive nature during the act of sex, out of fear that my daughter will hear her ‘virtuous’ mother in the throes of passion. There are times when I wish my arrangement would progress into a serious relationship, but as I am non-negotiable on the fact that my daughter and I are a twofor-one deal, I wonder if that will limit the potential of me developing a genuine relationship.
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Vicky, mother of 18-year-old Elizabeth
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THE
STORK DID IT!
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by Sara Conner, Arlington Texas
could already tell this wouldn’t be going in the direction I wanted it to. Bracing myself, I cringed my face and tried to close my ears, but they stayed open on their own. “So, Mommy, did the doctor cut me out of your belly?” Those big, sincere brown eyes sought a legitimate answer from me. It started with a stutter. “Ww-wwell, Landon, no. The doctor didn’t cut Mommy’s stomach to get you out. “ “Wow, what is Rescue Bots doing on the T.V.?” I try to distract him; I am not ready for this line of
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questioning. I anticipated another ten or so years to gather my wits and talk about the ‘birds and the bees’. I’m thinking we should be talking about stuffed animals, yet here we are… My thoughts get interrupted. “So how did I get out of your belly?” Rhatid. (“Oh my gosh” in American vernacular). Think Sara, think fast. What are my options? ‘The stork brought you over to me in a sheet’ – that sounds silly. ‘I picked you up on aisle 9 in Walmart’ possible, but another dumb explanation. ‘You’re really Pinocchio; I wished you alive’ – outright ridiculous. How about the truth?
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andon, you came through Mommy’s belly by way of her vagina”. Yes. I said it. Va-Gi-Na. The river of questions follow – “How did my head get out?”; “How did I get in your belly?” Seriously? I go on, red in the face; knots in my stomach, about to burst out in hives, puttering on about how the bones in the hips get soft and the body allows the head to come through because it’s soft as well. We discuss how tiny he was and that we all begin as little cells. I realized that in some ways we’d already had several conversations about reproduction, so he was intrigued. I was mortified, but I played it cool. Recalling our recent trip to the Museum of Natural History in New York, we saw butterflies mating, explored the reproductive cycles, and he educated me on the chrysalis. Reading National Geographic for Kids and watching Animal Planet had already caused plenty of conversations, so it was only natural he’d be curious about the human aspect. That’s where it ended though. Gloria a Dios he didn’t go further, because I would’ve just said, “Go ask your father!” This was a four year old I was dealing with, however I have an older child – a daughter who followed the same pattern in some way. Once my children were able to communicate, I always told them their “holy place” was a private place. Sexual organs were given nicknames, but if something was wrong they knew to use the proper names of penis and vagina. I’d never felt the need to be ashamed or prudish about the body. My daughter, however, experienced different degrees of “the talk”. Around two we discussed how to care for her private parts – to bathe properly; not to share it; to speak to us if others tried to see it, touch it, or scare her into exposing it. Around eight I began talking to her about the reproductive cycle. My cycle began at eleven and my mother was absent from my life. I knew nothing and experienced a lot of shame when it came because I didn’t know what it was and who to go to about it. So I determined to speak freely with my daughter. When she was ten I spoke in more detail about sex. I was pregnant with my son at the time, and used that to explain what exactly happened. I bought the book “A Child is Born” by Lennart Nilsson and Lars Hamberger, and we spoke about intercourse, the ovulation cycle, sperm and such. She didn’t want to hear about the intercourse part, and I didn’t want to say it, but it needed to be said. There are many girls who get their cycles between 8-11. Their bodies develop, people may think they’re older, and ignorance may lead them to get taken advantage of. From time to time my daughter and I discuss it. It's not uncomfortable for me, but it’s still a nightmare for her! .
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I can’t say definitively that any age is the best, but I do strongly believe that we should talk to our children about sex. Our family is Christian, but I do not use our Biblical view to degrade, shame, or bring disgust to sex. It should be spoken of honourably, with a sense of value and respect. In hindsight I see that I had been communicating about sex all along, and that it cannot be a one-time talk that we check off our parenting list with relief. It must be an ongoing conversation, fostered in an environment of trust and truth. We can lie about it now and breed confusion later, or take the small teaching moments we are offered, recognize them, and teach, not taunt; explain, not exaggerate. We’re parents, and I don’t believe we should allow Google to take our place. We shouldn’t be displaced by YouTube or overrun by information gained from friends, movies, TV, or exploration. No, it is my opinion that we should be the first to share this kind of information with our children. It is our responsibility to let them know how they got here. You and I are the most influential agents in the lives of our children. We are custodians of their character, though we cannot control their choices. I was uncomfortable yet not afraid, reaching for the right words but not speechless. Being married, I have a partner that can assist in the assignment. But even if I didn’t, I still believe that we are the ones chosen and equipped for the task.
LANDON, YOU CAME FROM MOMMY’S BELLY BY WAY OF HER VAGINA. YES. I SAID IT. VA-GI-NA. Address the issue of sex in a one-on-one conversation. If you’re not ready, for extra security, make sure to lock the door when having your own midnight relations. All you need is for that toddler to walk in and ask why Daddy is on top of Mommy! That would be a conversation starter for sure. Don’t trivialize the topic or assume the child should know something; it will only result in awkward moments. Do think about taking opportunities to discern the right time to get into more detail. If they ask, don’t shy away; be brave. Despite my bravery, I am dreading a call from school. “Mrs. Conner, Landon just told his friend that he came from his mother's vagina! Any idea where he got that from?” To which I will reply, “The stork on aisle 9 in Walmart did it!”
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When Jessie Conquered Dora
(and Now My Six-Year-Old Acts Like She’s Sixteen) By Gayle Cunningham
D ddd dDora Dora the Explorer Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping. 104 | BUMP • BABY & BEYOND b3 |
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any days, I find myself humming one or both of these lines from Dora the Explorer theme song and possibly doing a
little dance. I love Dora with her cheery upbeat attitude who happily calls out to my children to not only join her on an adventure but to try their hand at her beloved Spanish language as well. What a joy watching my children getting involved in one of her adventures as she goes through things, finds things behind and looks for Swiper, the pesky weasel beside things. They cracked puzzles together, they matched, played memory games and even learned how to read a map and decode some riddles. Dora was genius, she educated the children and they didn’t even realize it. I felt like I had achieved this great coup! I was the best parent because yes! they were being entertained and being educated at the same time because ‘I’ had turned on the television. So yes I hummed Dora’s theme song at any chance possible, patting my back all the way; I was a genius because Dora was genius. And then one day in between Doras I realized that another song had snuck in. Hey Jessie whoo whoo Hey Jessie. Out of nowhere there was a new favourite television show amongst the children. Jessie, the cutesy teenage nanny and her interactions with the four ultra rich children she takes care of had now infiltrated our television. All of a sudden our television was filled with the mischievous antics of these four children: Emma, Luke, Zuri and Ravi, who are “force-ripe,” as we people in the Caribbean say. Mouths filled with back chat, pranks on the butler, loose attitudes about school and people, and oh did I mention they are supposed to be very rich? So they have very little regard for money or the things that they acquire. Now instead of searching for ‘estrellas’ or counting en español I find I have little girls talking about why we don’t have a helicopter to take us to school, or butlers to take care of the house. ‘Mummy when I grow up I will be rich’ is a line that I have heard too many times already. And even though it is not such a bad thing to want to be rich, it certainly requires me explaining that it is not the most important thing in the world. Sharing, caring and love feature greatly in those talks. And then *gasp* my youngest, sweet, innocent, teller of the truth at all times, obedient, sweetie pie daughter
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looked at me and in her best Zuri voice, hands on hips and with a defiant head roll and says to me ‘You can’t make me do it’ or something as feisty (or facety as we say here.) Oh my goodness. Instead of morphing into the happy, well mannered Dora, she was becoming Zuri. Which, of course, elicited a very loud "you better believe I can!" from me. The nerve of the child. Why do I still let them watch this show if it clearly makes me uncomfortable and I rate it so low, you may ask? Well, I like the fact that it shows a non-traditional family. Three of the children are adopted, but this fact does not take away from the fact that they are all family. I also like that no matter what, they portray a family that is supportive of each other. And even though the parents are usually missing in action, they are still around in theory. Two of the children are non-white and look like my children and their friends. And most importantly, when the children do get into mischief they are almost always caught and punished in some way.
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MY SWEETIE PIE DAUGHTER LOOKED AT ME AND IN HER BEST ZURI VOICE, HANDS ON HIPS AND WITH A DEFIANT HEAD ROLL SAYS TO ME ‘YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DO IT’ Jessie is a show that, for me, is littered with many teachable moments. Moments that have opened up conversations between my girls and me about topics that I may not have known how to start talking to them about. A lot of those moments start off with me saying …. “If you think you can ever say something like that to me, you looking for trouble!” or “In this house we do not do things like that young lady!” but it is still a jumping off point for conversation. Yes, I would have preferred to have stayed in Doraland a little bit longer…. ok ok forever, and I cringe when something feisty comes out of their mouth that sounds like they heard it on Jessie. I focus on the positives of both shows and enjoy TV time with the kiddies.
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The Magic of Flowers
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By Aiesha Panton
Flowers are the Music of the Earth - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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ncient Egyptians believed that the essence of a flower contained magical healing powers and fragrances from the gods, so that the mortals might become more perfect and god-like by inhaling the scent. Now, we could debate the truth of this, but there is no denying at least the heartening impact of stepping into a room filled with the delicate aroma of fragrant flowers. And in truth, when we think about it flowers are really quite magical. We wear their delicious scents on our bodies as perfumes, we scent our baths with their essence, we nourish our skin with their oils, we light candles that infuse the air with their delicious aromas, we draw from their dried petals and drink as our therapeutic teas, and we even use them just to make our food more beautiful, as many of them are edible just as
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they are, and one of my best-loved is using fresh petals to define a bride’s path to her leading man. They are so many delicious fragrances that dance around in the air and lift our moods. I adore the hyacinth. It’s one of those heady, delightful scents, coming from a cluster of tiny perfect bell-shaped flowers. I can remember walking through the flower market and getting drawn in by its exhilarating smell. Another favorite is the frangipani. On a recent trip to Bali, as a special welcome at our resort, we were given a fragrant necklace made fresh from the early morning picking of the laden frangipani trees. There are so many moments when I can remember a beautiful bouquet or the simplicity of a single bloom transcending a chaotic day or just making a mundane day that much more memorable.
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PLANT TERRARIUM
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lowers are like smiles in a package, a go-to gift for so many occasions. So it’s no surprise then, that in the US alone approximately $34 billion was spent on flowers and plants in 2012 (US Bureau of Economic Analysis). And interestingly, 34% of those consumers are actually buying fresh flowers just for themselves.... Guilty! Flowers bring us smiles, but they also provide botanical healing too. Many flowers are used for antiinflammation and anti-bacterial treatments. Lavender is wonderful for relaxation. Chamomile soothes the stomach. Calendula makes a great skin soothing salve, perfect for your baby’s skin. Flowers are very useful tools for parents in helping nurture our children’s creativity, fueling their imagination and creating a connection with science and nature. Creating a special flower patch in your backyard is an awesome way to incorporate imagination building and sensory exploration. Your child can pretend they have their own flower shop, a fantasy fairy jungle, whatever they decided. Using flowers is also a great way to teach infants and toddlers different colours because of the bright colours and interesting shapes. Studies show that children actually learn better in outdoor environments (NC State University Natural Learning Initiative, Jan 2012), so take them outdoors in a lovely garden as often as you can. If you are about catching some of the magic of flowers and bringing it into your home, try this easy doit-yourself idea, and make a plant terrarium.
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WHAT YOU NEED: ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ ˏˏ
3 of your favourite succulents Potting soil for cactus Pebbles White decorative sand Smooth Stones Tiny pieces of driftwood or other sticks Glass vessel
WHAT TO DO: 1.
Make a first layer of pebbles to act as drainage for the plants in the vase. Then cover with a layer of soil.
2.
Place your succulents in the desired position. Choose three different kinds if you want, and try to vary the size to have one big and two smaller ones.
3.
Layer some more soil to keep the plants in place. Lightly wet the soil. After, layer with white decorative sand. I love a thick heavy covering for visual interest overhead and from the side.
4.
Add your wood pieces and stones or any thing you can get your hands on to give your terrarium a little more style. Place on your favourite table top surface in your home or at work.
Enjoy! Source: Pussbackfoot At Home • www.pussbackfoot.com
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Manufacturer of Bespoke Children’s Furniture
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14 Leonard Road, Kingston 10 Tel: 858-0011 (Digicel) | 906-6698 (Lime) Email: dugcompany@gmail.com
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B3 Beep Beep It’s a tradition almost, for many Jamaican families to pack up and ‘hit-the-road’ just about every chance they get! Whether it’s a holiday weekend on the North Coast, a visit to Grandma in the country, a getaway journey across the island or a simple Sunday ‘drive-out’, there’s very little reason needed to gas up and head out. Does your family require two, four or six seats? Then we’ve found the perfect vehicle for you. Need a little extra space for a car seat, or two? Look no further. It’s Family Time with FORD. .
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he Ford Explorer seats 7 and falls neatly in the Large Utilities class of vehicles. It is perfect for families, or for having the option of traveling with a group of friends or colleagues. Standard to the market in Jamaica are the Explorer XLT and the Limited versions - but the top-of-the-line Explorer Sport is also available on special order with a quick turn-around time from order to delivery. On an international level, Ford is the world’s largest Full Line Manufacturer, an industry term to mean that they make it all – from hatchbacks to heavy duty trucks and with a variety of features and options in every model!
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HAPPY FAMILY TRAVELS
With the versatility that having third-row seating allows, long journeys will be a breeze! Great looks and an easy-to-reach price point for shoppers in its class, the Explorer has increased in its appeal to the younger driver more than for any other passenger car or utility vehicle in the Ford lineup. Extended families and friends can easily travel together on weekend trips and long getaways in style and luxury. The Explorer has the most 2nd-row head room in its class and unsurpassed 3rd-row leg room. Voice-activated Ford SYNC® delivers hands-free calls and music in response to simple voice commands, so it’s easy to control your phone, entertainment and more.
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PLUG IN AND PLAY!
“Mommy, are we there yet?” With music downloaded from your smart device - whether a phone, MP3, USB or iPod, it’s not likely you’ll hear these words! Keep the little ones entertained, (and the big ones too); the Explorer Limited and Sport both feature Sony® audio systems and have as many as 12 speakers inside. You can also add dual headrest DVDs by INVISION to a custom order of any model.
SAFETY IS SERIOUS BUSINESS
The Explorer delivers on safety so that you can relax and travel with confidence knowing that your family is safe. Standard safety features are plentiful as in the Safety Canopy ® System which deploys side-curtain
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airbags to cover all 3 rows of seating - in addition to 7 individual airbags. And Curve Control helps slow the Explorer by as much as 16km/h in a second if it senses that you are taking a curve too quickly. AdvanceTrac® with Roll Stability Control™, the SOS Post-Crash Alert System™, SecuriLock® Passive Anti-theft System and MyKey® programmable vehicle key are amongst the many safety and security features found on the Explorer.
POWER UP AND EXPERIENCE MORE!
Finding the Explorer that’s right for you is easy. Ford offers a variety of options and optional packages so you can customize your Explorer or choose from stock offerings at your local dealer. While the Explorer comes standard with a 3.5-liter Ti-VCT V6 Engine
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on the XLT and Limited trim levels (and 3.5-litre Ecoboost® V6 Engine on the Sport) a frequent dealer selection for stock models locally is the 2.0L EcoBoost® Engine – which boasts the efficiency of a 4-cylinder and V6-like performance - the result is manifested in its best-in-class highway fuel economy. Together with a 6-speed automatic transmission this turbocharged, direct-injection powerhouse delivers plentiful low-end torque (270 lb-ft) for acceleration and passing, and a substantial 240 horsepower. A plethora of other features are available on the Explorer including Intelligent 4WD with Terrain Management System™ and Hill Descent Control. The Terrain Management System combines powertrain and braking controls to give the right amount of traction for different driving conditions.
‘EQUIP-IT’ TO GO!
Having lots of stuff to carry is no problem thanks to the flexible seating inside the Explorer. With the standard 2nd-row 60/40 split seat and the 3rd-row seats folded flat, you can pack up to 80.7 cu. ft. of gear in the back. And even with all rows occupied, you can still stow 21.0 cu. ft. of cargo in the extra-deep space behind the 3rd-row seat. 2nd-row riders are treated to comfy bucket seats with a pass-through to the 3rd row. Explorer adapts to your needs and on the Limited and Sport versions a power tailgate makes for easy access.
READY & WAITING
The Explorer comes to Jamaica straight from the US market, the comfort, style and features are not surpassed locally amongst vehicles in the price range with the Explorer XLT starting at under J$6.5m. Drivers quickly adapt to a left-hand-drive position and enjoy the amenities, power and performance of the Explorer. Kingston Industrial Garage (KIG) at 381 Spanish Town Road is the authorized new car dealer for Ford. Ask about the Ford Extended Service Plan (ESP) a value option that gives 15 parts and labour inclusive, scheduled service appointments.
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Beyond
KIDS WILL BE KIDS‌
With Dr. Lisa Franklin-Banton, M.B;B.S., D.M. (Paediatrics) Consultant Pediatrician
As a new parent, how do I know when to take my son to the doctor, and when I can medicate him at home?
There are many reasons why you may need to seek medical attention for your newborn son. Some of the most common symptoms which are cause for concern are: fever, lethargy, poor feeding, and excessive fussiness. A baby less than 6 weeks old with these symptoms should be seen by a physician from the onset. Your newborn should also be making frequent visits to the doctor. If your son is less than 1 year old, he should have already made at least 4 visits. During these visits he should have received his immunizations and have his growth and development monitored. In older infants, if fever is present and the infant has no other symptoms, it is safe to administer fever-reducing medicine and monitor closely. However, he should be examined by a physician if the fever goes on for more than 3 days. Coughs and colds are quite common in older infants. It is safe to treat these at home once the infant appears well otherwise. If, however, there are any signs of difficulty breathing or these symptoms continue for more than 3 days, you should seek medical attention. A good rule of thumb, however, is to seek professional medical advice when in doubt.
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I want my child to be healthy, but I'm really not a fan of pharmaceuticals. Do you recommend homeopathic medication for kids? Homeopathic medicines that are properly prepared are reported to have limited adverse effects and are deemed safe to use on kids. You
should, however, not delay seeking further assistance if your child is not improving or seems to be getting worse.
What's a safe mosquito repellant to use on my newborn baby? Insect repellant is not recommended for babies under 2 months of age. You can try alternative methods to prevent mosquito bites. These methods include: dressing the baby in long clothing and socks; avoiding the use of bright colours, as it is thought that these attract insects; avoiding scented soaps; installing screens at the
windows and doors; using mosquito nets over strollers and cribs; and avoiding going outdoors in the evening. When your child passes 2 months of age, it is safe to use insect repellants containing DEET (a chemical that is thought to have the best defense against biting insects), however it should only be applied once daily.
When does a child 'graduate' from a Pediatrician to a GP? My daughter is now 11 years old. There is no set age for a child to transition from a paediatrician to a GP. Paediatricians are trained to see children from birth to eighteen years and are quite capable of dealing with issues that teens encounter during the adolescent period. The age at which your
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daughter makes this transition is dependent on her. If she still feels comfortable seeing her paediatrician, there is no need to switch at this time.
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b3COMMUNITY
Caribbean Kids and Families Therapy Organization By Poe Han Thar Kyaw, Jamaica
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arenting a child is not an easy task. Parenting a child with a disability is altogether a more challenging experience. But what exactly is a disability? A disability may be defined as a condition that may restrict a person’s mental, sensory and/or mobility functions to undertake and/or perform a task in the same way as a person who does not have a disability. For the parent of a child experiencing developmental, physical, cognitive, behavioural, learning and social disabilities, the parenting journey can become an obstacle course that requires assistance for smooth navigation. Let’s think even further and
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imagine having to raise a child with disabilities in a society with ever-rising health care costs. Completely unnerving or perhaps daunting? Maybe, but this is where the Caribbean Kids and Families Therapy Organization (CKFTO) comes in. Spearheaded by Sara Stephens, an Occupational Therapist, and Laura Pierre-Escayg, a mother of a child with disabilities, this Caribbean non-profit organization was born out of a dream to create a warm, family-focused therapeutic clinic where families could receive quality services and resources regardless of their socio-economic position. CKFTO was registered in 2009 in Port-of-Spain, Trinidad & Tobago. It’s primary goal is to provide affordable, professional and empathetic therapeutic services to all Caribbean children between the ages of birth to 21 with special needs. Financial subsidies ranging from 20% to 80% reduction of the standard fee are offered to families that meet the criteria and are in need of therapy and support. The CKFTO has two distinct arms. First is the therapeutic arm featuring services such as occupational therapy, music and aqua therapy as part of
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Beyond
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the restorative process for children. These methods focus on fine motor, perceptual and developmental skills. Music therapy uses music as a means of restoring, maintaining and improving the physical, emotional, social, cognitive and psychological well-being, while aqua therapy uses water buoyancy as a tool for children to practice development skills such as crawling, walking, rolling and jumping. Second is the supportive arm which features services such as HOPE (Helping Our Parents to become Empowered) Support Group, providing parents with hands-on involvement in the growth process through tips, information, education and understanding. The HOPE Support Group also provides teacher workshops, in-services, seminars, consultations and disability awareness campaigns. One of the most influential campaigns is the CKFTO Count Me In puppet programme, designed to educate children about their peers with disabilities and chronic illnesses in order to bridge the gap between typical students and those with disabilities. The drama and animation of puppets create a lively vision for the children, as their imaginations are stirred with puppets such as Asha, who is blind and uses a cane; Anna has Cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair and David, who is autistic. The CTFKO Count Me In Puppet program fosters positive awareness and promotes the beauty and value of being different. The involvement and inclusion of parents, siblings, school and the community sets the CKFTO apart from other similar organizations. If a tree doesn’t stand straight, does it mean it can’t be something of beauty? Of course not. CKFTO understands the child is more than just him or herself, but a product of the people and things around them. All CKFTO students are treated as a whole person, to help them maximise their potential.
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If you would like to learn more about the CKFTO, contact them at
info@ckfto.org or call 1-868-628-3268.
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Book now: 1-877-424-8552
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