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contents NEWS:

Colorado’s role in California’s Porter Ranch disaster by Matt Cortina

....................................................................... NEWS:

The TRANSforming Gender Conference celebrates its 10th year at CU Boulder by Caitlin Rockett

....................................................................... BOULDERGANIC:

‘Knee Deep’ is about more than the Boulder flood by Grant Stringer

....................................................................... ADVENTURE:

Boulder launches balance bike program for teens and adults with developmental disabilities by Sarah Haas

....................................................................... BUZZLEAD:

Boulder International Film Festival returns with an impressive lineup by Boulder Weekly Staff

.......................................................................

ARTS & CULTURE:

Actress Amber Tamblyn’s latest poetry book is an action of feminism by Amanda Moutinho

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departments 4 T HE HIGHROAD: Why the GOP’s fence fantasy is a farce 5 DANISH PLAN: Is Trump a fascist or just marinated? 5 GUEST COLUMN: Dark spots, light spots and Apple’s protest 6 LETTERS: Signed, sealed, delivered, your views 30 OVERTONES: José González moves forward by going back to his roots 35 ARTS & CULTURE: BETC synergizes a

new paradigm 39 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do and where to go 45 POETRY: by Freya Manfred 46 SCREEN: ‘Where to Invade Next’ enrages and depresses 47 FILM: Brakhage Center Symposium to honor George Kuchar 49 CUISINE REVIEW: Los Dos Bros adds to Boulder County culinary niche 57 DRINK: Upslope’s bacon grätzer is weirdly good 61 ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny 63 S AVAGE LOVE: Dan keeps it brief 65 WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: We need to talk about it 67 CANNABIS CORNER: Eric Holder’s marijuana problem 69 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: An irreverent view of the world Boulder Weekly

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staff Publisher, Stewart Sallo Editor, Joel Dyer Advertising Director, Jeff Cole Director of Operations/Controller, Benecia Beyer Circulation Manager, Cal Winn

commentary

EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Matt Cortina Associate Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers: Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Chris Callaway, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Dylan Owens, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Greg Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Tate Zandstra, Gary Zeidner Interns: Alexandria Kade, Tommy Wood, Peter Ferrante, Max Heidt, Chelsea Abdullah, Avery Mcgaha, Alexa Friedman SALES & MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Inside Sales Representative, Jason Myers Classified Advertising Account Executive, Derek Rear Marketing Manager, Laura Wilder Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant Andrea Neville CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 16-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo March 3, 2016 Volume XXIII, Number 31 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Printed on 100% recycled paper with soy-based ink.

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

4 March 3, 2016

the

Highroad Why the GOP’s fence fantasy is a farce by Jim Hightower

proper wall, we’re told, makes good neighbors, but an 18-foothigh, 2000-mile-long wall goes way beyond proper, antagonizes your neighbor and shows your own fear and weakness. Yet, this is what self-described conservatives running for president propose to build to stop migrants from coming across our country’s southern border. Simple, right? Just fence ’em out! Wait — haven’t we already tried

this? Yes, in 2006 Congress mandated construction of a wall along the 1,954 miles of our border with Mexico. A decade later, guess how many miles have been completed? About 650. It turns out that erecting a monstrous wall is not so simple after all. First, it is ridiculously expensive, about $10 billion just for the materials to build from the tip of Texas to the Pacific, not counting labor costs and maintenance. Second, there’s the prickly problem of land acquisition to erect the first 650 miles of fence. The federal government would have to sue hundreds of property owners to take their land. Odd, isn’t it, that right-wing politicos who loudly rail against overreaching Big Government now favor using government muscle to grab private property? Third, it’s impossible to fence the whole border — hundreds of miles of it are in the Rio Grande’s flood plain, and

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

more miles are on the steep mountainous terrain of Southern Arizona. Trump, Cruz, Rubio and the other “just-build-a-wall” simpletons either don’t know what they’re talking about or are deliberately trying to dupe voters. Before you buy a 2,000-mile wall from them, take a peek at the small part already built, because of the poor terrain and legal prohibitions, it’s not one long fence, but a fragment here and another there with miles of gaps. Anyone wanting to cross into the U.S. can just go to one of the gaps and walk around the silly fence. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

danish plan Is Trump a fascist or just marinated? by Paul Danish

ormer Mexican Presidents Vicente Fox (2000-2006) and Felipe Calderon (20062012) say Donald Trump reminds them of Hitler. So does former New Jersey Governor Christie Todd Whitman and Eva Schloss, Anne Frank’s stepsister. The comparison is an over-reach. Hitler had the self-discipline to complete his sentences. Trump is a rhetorical slob. His speeches resemble an explosion in a pizza factory. And Hitler didn’t make a habit of cursing in public. Hitler was a great historical asshole. Trump just plays one on TV. The critics point to racism in Trump’s speeches. (It’s actually xenophobia, which also comes with its own set of personal and political pathologies, but save that discussion for some other time.) But even if Trump isn’t another Hitler, how does he stack up against other fascist icons? Mussolini is probably a closer fit, if for no other reason than genocide wasn’t his thing. Nor was he into conquering the world, but he did want to, uh, Make Italy Great Again — by making it the center of a new Roman Empire, kicking the British off Gibraltar and rebranding the Mediterranean as Mare Nostrum (Our Sea). He also promised major public works (roads, not walls in his case) and a major re-armament program (which would make Italy so strong nobody would mess with it). Oh, I almost forgot. He also turned Italy into a police state. Like Trump, he didn’t have much patience with back talk. Trump also merits comparison with Hugo Chavez, something Miami Herald columnist Andres Oppenheimer did concisely last summer. He characterized both Chavez and Trump not as fascists but as populists, and then pointed to three characteristics of populism that they both share — notwithstanding the fact that Trump epitomizes capitalism and Chavez socialism: First, populists need to create an enemy, so that they can become leaders of a national cause. And if the enemy is foreign, so much the better. Chavez’s enemy numero uno was the United States. Trump chose Boulder Weekly

Mexico to head the enemies list. Second, populists constantly play the victimization game, claiming they are about to be killed or harmed by the enemy at any time. Writing last summer, Oppenheimer pointed to Trump’s claim that he was putting himself in “great danger” by going to Laredo, Texas to see the border firsthand. Before the visit he told Fox News, “I may never see you again.” A more recent example, less lethal but just as ludicrous, would be Trump’s claim that the IRS may be auditing him every year because of his “Christian faith.” Third, most populists are egomaniacs. Oppenheimer says he used to describe Chavez as a “narcissist-Leninist” president because his favorite word was “I.” In a speech on Jan. 15, 2011, he used the word “I” 489 times. Trump managed to use the “I” word 220 times in the course of the 42-minute speech announcing his candidacy on June 16, 2015. Obama is a junior varsity solipsist by comparison. Probably the populist whom Trump most resembles is Huey Long (aka The Kingfish), the populist governor of Louisiana in the 1930s who declared “every man a king” and wanted to “redistribute the wealth” — kind of a mash-up of Trump and Obama. Before he was assassinated in 1935, he announced he was going to run for the presidency. Here’s how he looked at Franklin Roosevelt: “I can take him. He’s a phony. He’s scared of me. I can outpromise him, and he knows it. People will believe me and they won’t believe him. His mother’s watchin’ him, and she won’t let him go too far, but I got no mother left and, if I had, she’d think anything I said was all right.” Kind of sounds like something Trump would say about Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz, doesn’t it? Still, as I’ve said before in a different context, I think it’s possible to over-think Trump. There is another, simpler explanation for what makes Donald run, that doesn’t require you to go looking for a lot of sinister comparisons with dead fascists and populists. see DANISH PLAN Page 9

guest column Dark spots, light spots and Apple’s protest by Mel Gurtov

Dr. Mel Gurtov has studied government intrusion into our lives for many decades, including his work as an analyst for the RAND corporation and his alliance with his friend and colleague, Daniel Ellsberg, whose therapist’s office was physically broken into and ransacked by paid agents of then-President Richard Nixon. Gurtov is watching and analyzing the Apple/FBI case now and his perspective is worth noting.

ow’s this for bad choices? A recent study by a Harvard group contended with the position of U.S. intelligence agencies that tracking possible terrorists was becoming more difficult because there are too many “dark spots” — places where data can be encrypted to prevent tracking. Harvard “reassured” the FBI, CIA and others that new technologies embedded in common objects will provide (or already provide) plenty of additional tracking opportunities. What are these? How about toothbrushes, toys (yes, Barbie dolls), television and light bulbs, just for starters. These are the “Internet of things,” in the cute phrase of one law professor quoted in the article above. But let’s just call them light spots. I suppose we are intended to feel comforted by the thought that we’re safe on both ends of the surveillance machine — the intelligence communi-

ty’s and the corporations’. Obviously, those of us who are still worrying about how Facebook, Google and Amazon — the Big Three of Social Monitoring — keep us (and the authorities) in their sights are not thinking ahead. We have already surrendered our privacy to them by signing up every day for their services, and by standing by while they willynilly transfer data to government agencies. Europe’s national regulators, as distinct from the European Commission, suspect that the latest U.S.-EU “Privacy Shield” agreement on personal data transfer does not adequately safeguard privacy. All 28 EU member-states must sign off on the agreement for it to take effect. They want assurances that Europeans’ private information will not find its way into the hands of U.S. intelligence services. I doubt the Big Three will provide them. And if they do, who would believe them? Like most Europeans, Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, believes that some dark spots deserve protection. Reminding us that we the consumer are “the product” and not really the customer when it comes to tracking of our likes and dislikes by Facebook et al., Cook has emerged as a stout defender of privacy against the demands of the FBI in the San Bernardino terrorism case. He so see GUEST COLUMN Page 9

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March 3, 2016 7

letters An open letter to Barb Halpin, staff deputy to the Boulder County Commissioners, and Public Information Officer

I wanted to reach out and clarify the record on this quote from you in the Boulder Weekly article yesterday (Re: “Decision time... Again,” Feb. 25): “Back then, Domenico lamented the multitude of “all-or-nothing demands” from the public, something Halprin says the commissioners have seen from the current round of public meetings as well. “Are there other ideas? Are there actual ways that people could come forward and say, ‘We understand this can’t be ended over night but here’s a thoughtful way to start moving in that direction’?” Halprin says. “That’s the kind of input the commissioners would like to see. They are seeing a lot of ‘Don’t’ make any changes’ or ‘Ban them outright.’ Not a lot of middle ground here.” To be fair, this is not an “overnight” issue. This has had 5 years to be looked into, to be managed, for Commissioners to call meetings, reach out to experts who have been offered to them in various other fields of farm-

ing and food systems. Personally, as a citizen, and without pay, I put together a team to help with the transition mandate in the 2011 Cropland Policy. I would think this would qualify as “thoughtful” and a way to “move in another direction.” You may recall when we came to the Commission with stakeholders from across the industry, from growers to manufacturers, to retailers. Even Baystate Milling said they could take all the wheat that could be grown here and process it for Rudi’s to make a local bread. That was an unprecedented offer. A first of its kind. We offered to bring in wheat growers from neighboring areas to help teach and advise on how to manage that land for wheat. We offered to take the local growers to those wheat farms so they could learn on the ground. We offered opportunities for dairy alfalfa to be grown, to be purchased, to be trucked. That one is particularly egregious considering the option of GMO alfalfa now on the table. These meetings were recorded. We brought the Colorado Department of Agriculture Organic Program Manager to the county to

hold talks and provide help and advise on moving in another direction. I would consider this “thoughtful.” And there were many, many meetings with the Boulder County Parks and Open Space that went completely disregarded as well. For 5 years this offer was sidelined. Much like the advisory councils tasked with coming up with policy that was thoughtful and moved in another direction. There was a Citizen’s Cropland Policy that was well beyond an “overnight, all or nothing demand.” It was thoughtful; written by a PhD, a food scientist who just might be smarter than all of us combined on the issue at hand. I am concerned by your comment as it sweeps under the rug years of work by citizens in the county who have answered the call to provide the carrot before the stick. After 5 years of lack of compliance with the Cropland Policy that only the handful of farmers requested, it is clear that the stick must come. I would appreciate your clarification on your comments. It is insulting to many community leaders in the food industry who took time out of their jobs to lend a helping hand and exper-

tise only to have a spokesperson for the Commission tell the news media that no such thoughtful offers existed and no plans to move in a direction have been floated. It is clear that many plans have been floated and the only one that seems to get traction is the call to expand GMO farming on Open Space. Why is that? Respectfully, Mary VonBreck/Boulder

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guest column GUEST COLUMN from Page 5

far has rejected the U.S. government’s demand, backed by a court decision, to unlock Apple smart phones in order to access one terrorist’s data. Correctly, Cook sees surrendering to this request as having the potential to open the floodgates, allowing either the government or criminals to gain backdoor entry to people’s private information. Cynics might say that he really wants to protect Apple’s proprietary encryption software, which evidently is much stronger than Google’s and the other giants’. And clearly, Cook is concerned about the integrity of the Apple brand. But motives aside, Cook’s action is laudable. Interestingly, Cook’s impassioned defense of privacy has detractors and fence-sitters in the high-tech community. Everyone among them wants to protect their security systems. But those companies which, like the Big Three, rely on Internet advertising and personal data entries to monitor tastes and movements will be loath to support

danish plan DANISH PLAN from Page 5

Trump is acting like a lush. The insulting late-night tweets are the give-away. Most of the serious alcoholics I’ve known were given to calling you sometime between midnight and dawn and wanting to, uh, opine. Trump’s tweets are just a way of politicizing that behavior. Then there’s the bragging, the bluster, the self-aggrandizement, the personal insults, the bullying, the boorish exhibitionism, the constant demand for reassurance, the brazen, self-serving lies — they all fit the drunkard’s profile. Just the sort of guy you want in the White House with his finger on the nuclear trigger taking the 3 a.m. phone call, huh? Trump swears he’s a teetotaler, says he’s never touched alcohol, tobacco, or drugs, and cites his alcoholic older brother’s death at 42 as the reason. Yet that didn’t stop him in 2006 from launching his own brand of Vodka: Trump Vodka, with the slogan “Success distilled.” Hey, business is business. For all I know Trump may in fact be a teetotaler. But if he is, he’s the kind of guy who gives a drug and alcohol free lifestyle a bad name. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. Boulder Weekly

Cook’s tough stand — all the more so if they have contracts with police departments and federal agencies, such as Amazon’s with the CIA and Microsoft’s with the Department of Defense. But those which, like Apple, mainly sell hardware are likely to support him. In the end, Apple may have to concede at least to providing the specific data the FBI is demanding. But let’s

not lose sight of the core issue. We’re all in a bitter struggle to preserve our freedom of thought and movement against the rising tide of security-firsters who will forever contend that sacrificing our privacy is necessary if we are to erase the dark spots. By their logic, 1984 is finally here, and embedding security (i.e., surveillance) chips in toothbrushes, children’s toys and everywhere else The Enemy might lurk is both neces-

sary and proper. You’d better consider flossing regularly and having your kids play with sticks and stones. Barbie is watching, and even Tim Cook can’t stop her. Mel Gurtov, syndicated by PeaceVoice, is Professor Emeritus of Political Science at Portland State University and blogs at In the Human Interest. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

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news Colorado’s role in California’s Porter Ranch disaster

Why Colorado’s oil and gas regulations are impotent to slow global warming by Matt Cortina

t is eerie in Porter Ranch. It feels like an fields of the Four Corners area leak as much as 10 formations, as well as stores oil and gas shipped in uber-rich Mayberry, if the Mayberry gas util- percent of their entire production every day. And as primarily from sources in the Rocky Mountains and ity started leaking massive quantities of Porter Ranch made perfectly clear, large quantities of Texas. methane and forced everyone to evacuate. In Colorado’s natural gas are escaping after the gas leaves SoCal Gas, a subsidiary of Sempra Energy, runs the hills above gated communities — includ- the state. the facility and first told residents there was no major ing Porter Ranch, which is on par with Bel-Air for Even when well and storage sites are abandoned gas leak, according to the Porter Ranch Neighborhood Los Angeles County income supremacy — there are across the country, new research indicates these old Council. As the fumes continued and residents started trails and one-lane roads that swoop and cavort the wells still leak massive quantities of methane and to complain of physical issues like headaches and naumounts covered in oil and gas sites, many of them other harmful chemicals. And this major source of sea, all symptoms of methane exposure, the state sent decades old. greenhouse gasses is mostly unregulated and unseen. Steve Conley, an atmospheric scientist at the Down below in the streets of Porter Ranch, people The Porter Ranch incident figures to go down as a University of California Davis, to fly overhead and are trying to return their lives to normal. You see watershed moment for regulating oil and gas storage measure emissions from the site. Conley found masthem on mountain bikes and running trails, but it’s facilities, and methane leaks. Over 112 days, about sive quantities of methane escaping the facility, and eerie still. More than 4,000 hom- Matt Cortina SoCal Gas soon found a leak in a eowners have yet to return. And seven-inch-thick metal pipe just knowing that their absense is about 500 feet below the ground due to a massive natural gas leak that was used to move gas in and makes you wonder if the cool out of a well. Conley told the steady breeze is carrying someSacramento Bee that he wasn’t thing just dying to give you a surprised by the leak, as the well nosebleed or lung troubles. was over 60 years old, common If you squint, Porter Ranch for many storage sites in the U.S. looks a lot like parts of Colorado. Local officials took 180 noxious odor complaints from resiIn fact, for now, part of Porter Ranch is Colorado. A good pordents in the first few weeks of the tion of the contamination that leak, and schools were forced to has thrown this community onto temporarily close down. Of the the front pages of newspapers all two dozen or so people Boulder around the world was pulled out Weekly talked to in Porter Ranch of the ground in Colorado, transon a recent visit to the area — on ported via pipeline or rail to sidewalks, running trails and Southern California, stored in the shopping plazas — almost every Aliso Canyon storage facility in person knew someone who had Porter Ranch where it then been relocated by the gas compaescaped into the atmosphere from ny, and who had experienced an old well, saturating the air in physical issues from headaches to the neighborhood and comprislung problems. ing the worst methane leak in By Feb. 18, SoCal Gas had A neighborhood in Porter Ranch, California, is overshadowed by hills of oil and gas facilities. A well U.S. history. put 1,968 households in longleaked for 112 days recently, comprising the worst methane leak in U.S. history. Yes, Colorado’s role in the term housing through apartment Porter Ranch methane leak is or rental homes (the company integral. The methane from our natural gas that 97,000 tons of methane was released into the atmosays it will pay to keep these people in their replaceleaked in California is what forced the evacuation and sphere alongside other contaminants from natural gas ment homes through the end of March); and 1,309 relocation of thousands of families. What it shows is like methanethiol, benzene and ethane. The amount households were put into hotels or with friends and that no matter how strict the regulations Colorado of methane released was historic: it comprised about family. About 4,800 households were put up in hotels puts on its oil and gas activities, the safety of the 24 percent of the total amount of methane typically temporarily, though now a majority of those people hydrocarbons we pull from our ground is often deterhave since returned to hotels after a court ruled to released in the Los Angeles region in an entire year. mined by other states and federal agencies. If Porter Releasing 1.6 million pounds of methane per day dur- extend the relocation period by three weeks as regulators test homes for methane quantities. The Los Ranch is to be seen as an example, the system is ing the leak was the equivalent methane output of six fraught with poor and inconsistent oversight policies. coal plants, 2.2 million cows or 4.5 million cars on the Angeles County Department of Public Health, along with other agencies, will test 100-200 homes to see if The infrastructure in place to transport and store oil road, according to data from multiple sources. methane levels have diminished to safe levels before and gas is weak at best — a recent Harvard study The leak at the Aliso Canyon underground storauthorizing the return of residents. found the U.S. is the worst emitter of methane in the age facility was discovered after residents of Porter The leak was capped on Feb. 18, but fixing it was world. And by extension, Colorado as a major natural Ranch began to describe noxious fumes in late gas producer and distributor is one of the largest cula bit of a quagmire. The company tried numerous October 2015. The facility is the second largest natuprits when it comes to allowing methane to escape times to plug the leak by shooting materials down the ral gas storage facility in the country, and with 115 into the atmosphere. Research has found that the gas old well; a move that ultimately failed because of the well sites, it extracts oil and gas from the underlying 10 March 3, 2016

Boulder Weekly

news massive pressure emanating out of the well. Eventually, the company drilled a relief well about 8,000 feet into the ground, and sealed the well permanently. That process took several months. Now, residents wait to hear the results of the regulators’ testing of methane levels in homes. Some residents, like those in the Save Porter Ranch advocacy group, are calling for an end to all oil and gas operations at the facility. The locals BW spoke with are mostly unconcerned about lasting air contamination, as the high winds and consistency of methane has likely blown hazardous amounts of the contaminant away and into the atmosphere; but many are concerned about contaminants lingering in homes. SoCal Gas says the area is now completely safe and that “air quality levels in and around Porter Ranch are consistent with levels before the leak occurred.” The company cites independent readings from regulatory agencies. But not everything is cut and dried about the lasting effects on public health caused by the Aliso Canyon leak. The main concern for homeowners is that methane, benzene or other contaminants will build up in homes, causing ingestion issues as well as increasing the risk for explosions. Methane, from any number of sources, from an individual pipe leak in a home, to a release of sewer gasses, to infiltration from an outside source, as would be the case in Porter Ranch, can easily get trapped in homes, but SoCal Gas disputes that methane can latch onto clothes, carpets or other household effects. “Unlike carbon dioxide, which can be captured both physically and chemically in a variety of solvents and porous solids, methane is non-polar and interacts weakly with most materials,” the company wrote in a statement to BW. The company cited a Scientific American article that called methane a “shy molecule, one that doesn’t interact much with its surroundings,” but that same article also confirmed that methane at high concentrations can make it easier for materials to absorb the gas. According to the California EPA, the highest level of methane concentration recorded during the leak was 230 parts per million (ppm). Normal methane levels are about 2 ppm. That means for a time, about 20 percent of the air in Porter Ranch was methane. In the atmosphere, methane is 25-times more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide over the course of 100 years and 72 times more potent over a 20-year span. Though methane lives in the atmosphere for a Boulder Weekly

shorter period than carbon dioxide, it is much more efficient at trapping radiation that can warm the Earth, according to the EPA. Natural gas makes up the largest share of U.S. methane emissions, comprising about 30 percent of the total release of methane. And to be sure, residents in Porter Ranch who spoke with BW were far more concerned about the lasting environmental toll; some were even embarrassed for their region and the

damage that the Aliso Canyon facility leak has caused. Methane is also a contributor to smog and ground-level ozone, which inhibits air quality, can be very dangerous to people with respiratory problems such as asthma and contributes to global warming. That’s bad news in light of the Harvard study that recently found between 30 and 60 percent of global methane emissions could be coming from the U.S. This massive

number is tied directly to a 30 percent increase in methane emissions in the U.S. since 2002 alone. Researchers have voiced their belief that this increse is related to the increased fracking of oil and gas shale in the U.S., much of which has occured in Colorado. In addition to methane, there were two other contaminants released in major quantities in Porter Ranch: See PORTER RANCH Page 12

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The orange dots indicate abandoned oil and gas wells in Colorado. Estimates indicate 7.7 percent of them could be leaking. PORTER RANCH from Page 11

methanethiol and benzene. Mercaptans (as methanethiol is commonly called) are foul-smelling chemicals that are added to natural gas in order to make it easier to detect leaks. It’s what makes urine smell after a person eats asparagus, and it also is responsible for the smell of flatulence and bad breath. In fact, smelling it is how Porter Ranch residents first detected the leak at the Aliso Canyon facility. Mercaptans typically “do not cause long-term health effects,” according to Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment (OEHHA), particularly at the level experienced in Porter Ranch. That said, OEHHA admits that mercaptans can create nausea and headaches in people who smell it. But mercaptans aren’t totally harmless. Four employees of a DuPont facility in Houston were killed in 2014 after exposure to high concentrations of mercaptans. Benzene poses a greater and more immediate threat than mercaptans or methane. Benzene is a known carcinogen, and it was abundant at times in Porter Ranch during the gas leak. Benzene levels are still being registered by monitoring agencies. The EPA says there is no safe level of benzene. Benzene is a naturally occuring part of crude oil and natural gas. People are commonly exposed to it via car exhaust, industrial emissions and from glue, paints and furniture. OEHHA says benzene levels during the leak were the biggest concern for regulators, as the concentration of the contaminant in the air was the closest to reaching what’s called a Reference Exposure Level (REL), or basically a standard of concern. Early in the leak, in Nov. 2015, benzene levels were hovering right around the chronic REL of 1 part per billion (ppb). Since December, the ben-

zene levels in the air around Porter Ranch have all been below 1 ppb, but not by much. January featured a steady level of benzene in the air, and a reading as recent as the morning of March 1 found levels above 1 ppb. The group Physicians for Social Responsibility say that “prolonged exposure [to benzene] may result in blood disorders like leukemia, reproductive and developmental disorders, and other cancers.” So it’s worth noting again that when regulators go into Porter Ranch homes this month to test the air quality, they will only be testing for methane — not benzene, ethane, mercaptans or propane, which has also steadily shown up in air quality readings. SoCal Gas, for their part, has offered residents an air purification program to deal with odors by implanting a carbon filter that can remove odorant compounds in natural gas from homes. What happened in Porter Ranch could easily happen elsewhere, and is happening on a smaller scale nationwide every day. And though it was partly Colorado gas that sent residents of Porter Ranch running for their lives, it’s worth noting the Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission that regulates the state’s oil and gas industry is powerless to prevent massive leaks such as the one at Porter Ranch. Nearly every home in the nation gets its gas from a series of pipelines that ultimately wind their way thousands of miles to a source at the wellhead. With every state regulating just a tiny fraction of the system, there is no entity reponsible for natural gas from ground to home. Natural gas is shipped from Colorado via two main sources: pipelines and trains. Colorado hooks into the national pipeline system in almost all directions. East of the Rockies, producers can tap into pipelines that send natural gas to Boulder Weekly

news Wyoming, Kansas, Oklahoma or Texas, where it then taps into larger pipeline systems that send Colorado gas to California and the Midwest. Gas leaving Colorado for storage below Porter Ranch can take a series of in-state pipelines from both the Front Range and the Western Slope. Eventually that gas taps into the Kern River pipeline, which feeds into Aliso Canyon. Just as another cautionary tale: The Kern River pipeline ruptured in 2012, releasing 585 million cubic feet of natural gas into the air. Much of that leak was also likely Colorado-produced natural gas. That’s about 4.5 billion gallons, which is difficult to conceptualize. Think of it this way: it’s the equivalent of filling 4,500 football-field-sized swimming pools that are 10-feet deep. Just one pipeline in Eastern Colorado, the TransColorado pipeline system, can move about that much — 590 million cubic feet — natural gas through Colorado every day. And that’s not even the biggest pipeline system in the state. So you probably think that regulation of these pipelines is pretty strict. Not so. The federal government has only 100 full-time inspectors it employs from hubs nationwide. With so few feet on the ground, the federal government has no choice but to leave the day-to-day regulation of pipelines and other facilities to the states. By the numbers, about 13 percent of the nation’s total pipelines are regulated by the federal government. Colorado is one of the worst states for pipeline regulation, with only one regulator per every 7,000- to 8,000-miles of natural gas distribution mains. The responsibility of inspecting pipelines in Colorado falls to the Public Utilities Commission. In total, there are only about 500 federal and state inspectors for the 1.3 million miles of gas pipelines, according to a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review investigation. This shortage of regulators has no doubt contributed to the rapidly increasing release of methane in the U.S. According to the Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration, 12.8 billion cubic feet of methane has been released from pipelines across the country in more than 700 incidents since 2010; events that killed 70 people, injured 300 and cost close to $1 billion in property damage. The damages attributable to global warming caused by such leaks is incalculable. When crude or liquefied natural gas is transported by rail, the immediate perils are even greater. Though Boulder Weekly

crude oil by rail transport went down in 2015 from 2014 levels, the last several years still represent elevated rail traffic of the volatile material. Shipments of crude oil by rail peaked at 15,000 carloads per week in 2015, which is still relatively high. The regulation of crude oil transport by rail has come under major scrutiny in recent years. Inspection and regulation of oil trains is mostly done by the federal government, though states are now beginning to enact stricter laws. Currently, railroads are only required to notify local emergency personnel if a train carrying 1 million gallons or more of hazardous material comes through in its jurisdiction. But the most dangerous part about transporting crude oil by rail is the cars in which they are transported: the DOT-111s. They are outdated and not suited for the type of crude typically shipped on rails today. Last year, the federal government called for an immediate phase-out of DOT-111s, but only for the oldest varieties, and so many still-dangerous, but newer, DOT-111s will stay on the rails until 2030. But transportation is just one side of the coin regarding the safety of Colorado oil and gas in other parts of the country. As seen in Porter Ranch, there exist major problems with the enforcement of safety standards at storage facilities, as well as at abandoned wells. At any given point, there is about 3.3 trillion cubic feet in underground storage in the U.S. For reference, it would take all 1.5 million wells in the U.S. to produce at full capacity for about a week to reach that storage number. Most storage facilities, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration (a government agency), are built in depleted natural gas or oil fields, as was the case at the Aliso Canyon facility in Porter Ranch. Other storage facilities, mainly in the Midwest, are built out of converted natural aquifers. These storage facilities are owned privately, usually by independent storage facility owners or pipeline companies. About 120 companies own the 400-plus storage facilities in the U.S. Any storage facility that works between states is subject to federal oversight, and intrastate facilities are regulated by the state in which they operate. These storage facilities are as prone to leaking methane and other contaminants as an active well site, pipeline or abandoned well. By virtue of being built in old drilling sites, the 400-plus storage facilSee PORTER RANCH Page 14

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PORTER RANCH from Page 13

U.S. Energy Information Administration

ities are as old or older than the 60-year-old pipe that gave way at the Aliso Canyon site. The state regulation of storage facilities varies — some states require every storage facility to be checked once a year, while others require more or less often. Some states have one or two regulators dedicated to storage inspection, others have none. And states have different requirements for what the inspectors are looking for — some states require only checks for visible or odorous contaminants. That’s little comfort considering we are sitting on top of 3.3 trillion cubic feet of natural gas somewhat contained in man-made facilities or imperfect natural underground structures that are aging and growing A map of the country’s natural gas pipelines. Larger gray arrows indicate routes with higher volume. Colorado’s natural gas is shipped east and west. weaker every day. The nonprofit group Earthworks posted an interacWhat’s worse, in theory, is that tive map on their website that shows with cement. As the cement cracks and because these wells are capped deep methane emissions from well sites, otherwise fails, many of these wells below the surface, it often means that pipelines, storage facilities and more by start leaking methane into the atmobuildings, including homes and schools, using an infrared camera that detects sphere. And sadly, abandoned wells are can be built right over the top of abanmethane. Do yourself a favor and visit not regulated by ongoing inspections. doned wells that might be leaking into the page, zoom in on Weld County and So because they are unregulated, water wells, drifting into air supplies or then start worrying about which way figures about the potency of their emiscreating a store of powerful methane the wind blows. sions are hazy or nonexistent in the right beneath the surface. We just don’t The problem with storage facilities, U.S. However, a Canadian entity, the know the depth of this issue: it’s not it seems, is one of infrastructure; the Alberta Energy Regulator, aggregated regulated. problem with abandoned wells is one of information provided by the province of There is precedent for abandoned carelessness. Alberta, a major oil producing region, well explosions, too. Three house buildThere are about 2.5 million abanand found that about 7.7 percent of ers in Trinidad, Colorado, were injured doned oil and gas wells in the U.S., abandoned wells in the region are leakin an explosion in 2007, when a well with about 20-30 million globally. ing. It seems fair to make the leap that that had been abandoned in 1984 and There are about 35,000 abandoned in a country where abandoned wells plugged by Halliburton leaked methane wells in Colorado alone. Many of these aren’t even regulated, 7.7 percent is a into the house. Methane continued to abandoned wells were never plugged comparable, or even low, range for leakleak until the well was re-plugged. while others were plugged and capped ing abandoned wells in the U.S.

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And this doesn’t even speak to the thousands of off-shore wells, like the 3,500 abandoned wells that had openly been leaking into the Gulf of Mexico and hadn’t been discovered or regulated until the disastrous BP Deepwater Horizon spill. For reference, the City of Longmont hired a firm to research and plug 17 abandoned wells, many of which had “perforations,” in 2013. Given all this information regarding the national inability to keep methane in the ground, it’s no wonder that the residents of Porter Ranch are calling on SoCal Gas to end operations at the Aliso Canyon facility. However, the California Department of Conservation ruled recently that rather than shut it down, it will test the integrity of all well sites at the Aliso Canyon facility, pumping in pressure at 115 percent the standard rate to find leaks in the system. It’s a good step, but then again, California is one of the tougher states on emissions and oil and gas operations. And so if the worst methane leak in U.S. history can occur there, in California, where there is some semblance of regulation, what and where will the next leak be in the oil and gas infrastructure of the U.S.? And given Colorado’s likely outsized role in that next leak, what responsibilities does this state have in ensuring the safety of its oil and gas once it leaves our borders? The likely answer — so long as Colorado’s elected Democratic and Republican leaders remain mysteriously vested in the growth of the oil and gas industry — is none.

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Boulder Weekly

news Deconstructing gender

The TRANSforming Gender Conference celebrates its 10th year at CU Boulder by Caitlin Rockett

n March 10, the TRANSforming Gender Conference will begin its 10th year highlighting the diversity of gender and addressing equality, support, visibility and scholarship for transgender, gender non-conforming and intersex people. The conference, which is free and open to the public, will run through March 12 at the University of Colorado Boulder’s Center for Community (commonly referred to as C4C). Morgan Seamont, assistant director of CU’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (GLBTQ) Resource Center, says that after a decade the conference is still “a response to a need.” “But we’ve seen it grow from basically a 30-person attendance to over 400 attendees last year,” he says.

the categories of man and woman); and gender nonconforming (used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity; this is not a term to describe all transgender individuals). The term cisgender is often used to describe folks who identify with the sex they were assigned at birth. While the conference, as always, will cover a range of topics — from what it means to be transgender to incorporating queer literature in classrooms to the legal and health issues faced by transgender and gender non-conforming individuals — this year’s keynote speakers will highlight transgender people of color. “I think we’ve seen a lot more activism around the minority within the minority, so people of color within the transgender community,” Seamont says. “We Courtesy of CU Boulder’s GLBTQ Resource Center could see from the movements that started a year or two ago around Black Lives Matter, it was an area that needed to be addressed in our conference as well.” Transgender people, especially women and people of color, face higher rates of violence than cisgender individuals (and gay, lesbian and bisexual people). A report conducted in part by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs found that within the GLBTQ community, more than twothirds of homicide victims were transgender women, with 67 percent of those victims being people of color. The epidemic of violence became so clear that in November 2015, the House LGBT Equality Caucus held the first-ever conKim and Tiq Milan will speak about creating love in queer communities of color at the TRANSforming Gender Conference at CU Boulder gressional forum on violence against on March 12. transgender people. There are four keynote speakers at “And what’s great about this conference is it’s sort of this year’s TRANSforming Gender Conference who workshop driven. If people see a need, they can subwill address the issues transgender people of color regmit an idea for a workshop. So the conference is conularly face. tinually changing as are the needs of the transgender CeCe McDonald is a transgender black woman community.” who, in 2011, fought off a racist, transphobic attacker. Seamont, who identifies as a transgender man, She spent 19 months of a 41-month sentence in a says transgender is an “umbrella term” that can mean men’s prison for second-degree manslaughter despite “a lot of different things to different people.” evidence that her actions were motivated only by selfFor some, Seamont explains, it can mean fluidity, defense. McDonald is the subject of an upcoming “a sort of day-to-day changing, of sliding along a documentary entitled Free CeCe, produced by Laverne [gender] spectrum scale.” Others prefer to move from Cox and Jac Gares. The film tackles the issues of one side of the traditional gender binary to the other, trans-misogyny and the epidemic of violence surfor example, a person who is assigned male at birth rounding trans women of color. but identifies as female. Also speaking is Jennicet Gutiérrez, a transgender GLAAD is a media-monitoring organization that Latina activist and organizer from Mexico. In 2012, helps news outlets produce healthy, accurate stories Gutiérrez interrupted President Obama during a about GLBTQ communities. Under the umbrella speech while he was talking about violence targeting term transgender, GLAAD offers a number of other transgender women of color to point out the presiterms people may choose to use, such as trans (a dent’s hypocricy. shortened form of transgender); transgender woman “But while he spoke of ‘trans women of color or transgender man (a person whose gender identity being targeted,’ his administration holds LGBTQ and and/or expression is different from the sex they were trans immigrants in detention,” Gutiérrez wrote in a assigned at birth); genderqueer (any person whose June 2015 piece for Washington Blade. gender identity and/or gender expression falls outside “Immigrant trans women are 12 times more likely Boulder Weekly

to face discrimination because of our gender identity,” she continued. “If we add our immigration status to the equation, the discrimination increases. Transgender immigrants make up one out of every 500 people in detention, but we account for one out of five confirmed sexual abuse cases in [Immigration and Jennicet Gutiérrez is an advocate Customs for transgender immigrants in America — and for all immigrants. Enforcement] custody.” Courtesy of GLBTQ Resource Center During the final day of the conference, Tiq and Kim Milan will speak about creating love in queer communities of color. The Milans have worked together, and separately, to bring awareness to GLBTQ issues. Tiq is currently a national spokesperson for GLAAD, and has trained national transgender advocates, including CeCe McDonald spent 19 months in a men’s prison for self-defense CeCe McDonald. against a transphobic attacker. Kim has created dozens of workshop series on social change, anti-oppression, intersectionality, race, gender, leadership, youth and young women’s empowerment. Seamont says the conference, despite some of the heartrending subject matter, is a positive experience, celebrating recent victories, such as CU’s addition of gender confirmation surgery to the university’s health benefits for faculty and staff. And it gives folks a safe place to explore their thoughts and further deconstruct long-held notions of gender. “It’s important to ask some of these questions, like why can’t men wear make up or why women can’t have a masculine body appearance,” Seamont says. “It’s a way of interrogating the rules that our society has created around gender.” Courtesy of GLBTQ Resource Center

March 3, 2016 17

photo: Gabriella Marks

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‘Knee Deep’ is about more than the Boulder flood by Grant Stringer

cleanup efforts alone, it was decided that hen filmmaker Aly she didn’t see firsthand was brought by Nicklas watched the rislocal news: up to 1,000 homes and busienergies would be directed toward debris ing waters of the Boulder nesses destroyed and four dead in what removal in mountain towns, where the flood in 2013 wash away was being called a “hundred-year flood.” wreckage appeared the worst, as well as the homes of her friends, “[Flood victims] had lost everything, Boulder and Longmont. she needed to help in any way she could. and I was inspired,” she says. “It was a “It happened very organically,” says The only question was, how? difficult experience seeing people’s lives Nicklas. “We just wanted to help people Embarking upon a series of extraorripped apart in such a tangible way.” get mud out of their houses.” dinary events, Nicklas spon- Aly Nicklas Lack of road access taneously coordinated a made setting out for towns posse of enthusiastic volunlike Salina a strenuous task teers that devoted massive and Nicklas admits that she amounts of assistance to was unprepared for a faceflood victims even as to-face encounter with the Boulder Creek still surged situations of these commudown the canyon. From nities. Boulder and beyond, volun“I believe we were one of teers showed up in the the first flood relief groups months after the flood to in Salina and Jamestown,” dig out more than 350 Nicklas says, “and I knew debris-filled houses in that it was a really traumatic Boulder County, eventually experience, but being there, earning them the title “the the energy up there was so Mudslingers.” intense right after the flood. Nicklas, whose previous ... I’d never been in a landA masked Mudslinger in action. The “hundred-year flood” of 2013 left films include Coming Home over 1,000 buildings damaged or destroyed in the Boulder area. scape that had been so drasand The Starhouse, chronitically altered so quickly.” cled the experiences of the Mudslingers With the rain still pouring down, she Digging for weeks on end, Nicklas in Knee Deep, a short film about lessons knew something had to be done as road estimates more than 20,000 volunteer learned from the community’s adversity. closures were still preventing large-scale hours contributed to relief efforts. The With successes spanning from Telluride flood relief from reaching victims in the nature of the work, which Nicklas to a United Nations film festival, Knee mountain towns of Jamestown and describes as “mostly manual labor,” Deep will receive hometown treatment in Salina. Utilizing Facebook, Nicklas couldn’t stop Mudslingers from enjoying Reel Women Showcase of Women direc- formed the Mudslingers, a group open to their work and bringing great attitudes to tors and the Boulder International Film any volunteer who wanted to help flood heart-breaking situations. Fest. victims. With little experience in running Weeks into the frantic campaign, For longtime Boulder residents like an organization, and limited ways to con- when things had calmed down a little bit, Nicklas, the events of September 2013 nect with the community, she didn’t Nicklas began to document bits and were traumatic. She watched as inches of expect the significant volunteer turnout pieces of the relief efforts, at first without rain swelled Boulder Creek to levels that ensued. any intention to turn the footage into a undocumented since the 1890s, and what With flood victims facing daunting film.

“I was inspired to document, because what I saw was pretty awesome — a community showing up to help each other,” she says. And her footage doesn’t focus on the flood itself. Rather, it captures the human response to disaster, while communicating newfound convictions about what it means to live in community — themes that are central to Knee Deep. “The film is not about the flood at all,” she says. “The flood is about community. The flood was a catalyst for community to come together — that’s what communities do.” As damage from the hundred-year flood continues to be repaired to this day, it is clear that the Mudslingers — despite all their zeal — weren’t able to rectify all the effects of the raging waters. Many homes, possessions and even lives were simply washed away. But digging wasn’t the Mudslingers’ only goal, Nicklas believes. “One of the coolest things that we were able to do was to show up for people when they felt like it was more than they could handle,” she says. “So we’d show up with this group of strangers and be like, ‘You’re not alone, and your community is here.’ That, I think, is the most valuable thing we gave.” Knee Deep and the story of the Mudslingers are emblematic of community action at its best, constituting a proud chapter of Boulder history with lessons for the future. When there is nowhere left to turn to but each other, the latent power of a community, they show us, is not to be underestimated.

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Boulder Weekly

ADVENTURE

EXPAND Boulder

No right way to ride a bike Boulder launches balance bike program for teens and adults with developmental disabilities by Sarah Haas

s biking becomes more popular, bike wheels for their technology gets more advanced. Built on now teenage carbon frames with titanium cranksets, children? Or hydraulic disc brakes and 3-D printed attach a push saddles, bikes are evolving into technohandle for a Bicycle Village in Boulder drops off the Strider bikes for the new EXPAND program, which logical masterpieces. But sometimes the most meancaretaker to they assembled for no cost. ingful innovation happens through simplification. hold them Remove the pedals, cranksets and the chains. Just upright? leave the frame, the handlebars, two wheels and the At this point, adding a crutch felt like a step back- work on that balance and confidence.” saddle. What remains is a balance bike, or a velociwards, parents wrote. After seeing the improvements One of the program participants, Sarah, and her pede as they would have called it in 19th-century in the confidence of their children, after watching caretaker Bethany Silkensen, are realizing that benefit. England. Self-propelled with alternating strides, riders them balance when experts told them it wasn’t possiTrepid around bikes her entire life, Sarah at first hesinaturally find their balance as they lift their feet off ble, people pleaded with Strider to help them find a tated just to stand over the frame, but after only a few the ground to glide. way to maintain the newfound mobility for their half-hour sessions she is already moving on her own Strider Sports International These bikes, recently regrowing children. as she finds her balance and grows her confidence. popularized by Strider Sports In January, Boulder’s “Sarah needs help walking up stairs, she has trouInternational, expedite the proExciting Programs, ble balancing,” Silkensen says. “And that she can be cess of learning how to ride on ADVENTURES & New on the bike by herself is liberating. She can move and two wheels. Until recently, this Dimensions (EXPAND), which she can turn, all on her own.” tool was exclusively available to has been around for 35 years, As Sarah and the other riders find their indepenyounger kids, 18 months to five launched a new Strider pedaldence, they also offer insight into the roles of the years old, because there was less bike program for teens and caretaker, teaching Silkensen how to let go in order adults with developmental disonly one small frame size in for Sarah to discover what she is truly capable of. abilities. Participants gather a production. But Strider recent“She only fell one time, when I was trying to force few times a week in a gym to ly changed all that by building her to turn,” Silkensen says. “I had put my hands on practice moving on the bikes as bigger frames for teenagers and the handlebars to get her to turn and she wasn’t ready, they progress through terrains adults. The only problem was so she kind of collapsed into my arms. Not hurt at all, and gain environmental awarethat there was very little she started laughing and I looked at her and said, ‘I ness. The gym time prepares demand for the product. am sorry, Sarah. I will let you do your own turns from “We decided to go for it them to take bikes into the now on.’ It was a lot easier for her to be in control of anyway,” says Marty Martinez, world. the turns than to have me to help.” a representative for Strider. Sherri Brown, therapeutic EXPAND’s program is the first of its kind in the state, but joins a growing movement as Special “The niche is so small, and we recreation coordinator for the Olympics incorporates balance bike competitions into knew we would probably lose City of Boulder for the past 21 major festivals and games around the world. As the more money than we make in years, immediately recognized popularity of balance bikes increases among adults these bikes, but the reward out- Participants collect their prizes at a Strider the unique opportunity opened race for teens with developmental disability with developmental disability and anecdotal evidence weighed the cost. Everyone up by the adult-sized frames in New Jersey. should be able to have the fun accumulates, research studies are beginning to confirm and eagerly launched the proof two wheels. If you can stand the value to participants. gram. up you get to do this.” Dr. Andrew L. Shim, director of the “In the other programs I run I am so aware of the The value the company saw sat in stacks of letters Department of Kinesiology & Human Performance lack of confidence of the participants,” Brown says. from parents of kids with special needs, asking what “That is so tied up in balance. Where for some people at Briar Cliff University, located in Sioux City, to do now that their children had outgrown the small- it is really easy to stand on one foot, for these guys it see BALANCE Page 24 er bike. Did that really mean they had to get training is more of a struggle. My priority is to truly see them Boulder Weekly

March 3 , 2016 23

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The teen group poses with their Strider bikes at East Boulder Recreation Center where they practice.

BALANCE from Page 23

Iowa, is studying the relationship between riding pedal-less bikes and balance in children with autism. His early findings confirm a correlation between riding and improvements in lateral stability among participants, which led to the creation of a curriculum to assist in that gain. His work will be published this April in the Journal of Physical Education, Recreation and Dance. Shim studied two sets of variables: the center of pressure, a measurement of balance taken with eyes closed standing on a flat ground and then on a perturbed surface; and the limit of stability score, a measurement of balance taken by leaning forward, backward and then side to side. It was in the later limit of stability category that Shim found significant improvement, with stronger evidence on the right lateral or dominant side. He also found overall improvements in stability while the children were moving on the bikes. “It isn’t as simple as saying that Strider bikes caused the improvement,” Shim says. “It is the opportunity that the bikes provide, to let participants challenge their central nervous system, to understand a little bit more about freedom and stability control. Secondly, the study was done on challenging terrain, uneven surfaces and slopes, encouraging the children to work a little bit harder at times than they are used to. Raising the expectation might have played a factor.” Shim says the goal is not to catch people with special needs up to other riders, but an attempt to help them

become more comfortable being active. Balance is a portion of it, but a lot of it, he says, is confidence and opportunity. To ensure that people with disabilities have that opportunity, Strider started the 1% Rider Fund, contributing 1 percent off the top of company profits to fund the startup of community programs, offer discounts on bikes and match community contributions for program upstarts. “Boulder is such an embracing community and that’s what I love about the vibe in the city. It doesn’t matter what, who or why you are here as long as you are active,” Martinez says with a laugh. With the EXPAND program, Martinez says, even more people can enjoy “the cycling Mecca of Boulder in their own way.” To further encourage growth in ridership, Strider is talking with Valmont Bike Park in North Boulder to incorporate a balance bike race as early as this summer. Although Brown and EXPAND did not set out to include competitions, they are eager to look at every opportunity to open the community’s eyes to the difference these bikes can make. “Maybe we don’t have a specialized race,” Brown says. “Maybe we have a beginner bike race that [balance bikes] can be allowed into. And maybe there is another teen out there that would rather ride a strider bike than a pedal bike. Sometimes within a race you can have very different levels of competition or prizes, and you can all still race at the same time. It’s just that there are different ways of winning.” Boulder Weekly

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OZRIC TENTACLES & CONSIDER THE SOURCE MON. APR 4 8:00 PM

SAN FERMIN

38 March 3, 2016

ARTHUR LEE LAND

THURS. MAR 17 5:30 PM 21+

KGNU PRESENTS

TROUT STEAK REVIVAL

THURSDAY MAR 10

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FRI. APR 8 7:00 PM 97.3 KBCO & BOULDER WEEKLY PRESENT

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SISTER SPARROW & THE DIRTY BIRDS MON. APR 11 6:30 PM

THE FRONT BOTTOMS BRICK + MORTAR & DIET CIG

THURS. APR 14 - SAT. APR 16 7:30 PM BOULDER WEEKLY PRESENTS

AN EVENING WITH

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JOHNNY CLEGG JESSE CLEGG

FRI. APR 22 7:00 PM

21+

24TH ANNUAL MICROBREWERIES FOR THE ENVIRONMENT FEAT THE MAGIC BEANS & GREAT AMERICAN TAXI WED. APR 27 7:00 PM 97.3 KBCO PRESENTS

ESME PATTERSON

GRAHAM NASH

APR 5 .......................................................................................................... MIJA APR 8 ......................................................................................... MANIC FOCUS APR 9 .......................................................................................... RANDOM RAB APR 12 ............................................................................... BEN MILLER BAND APR 14 ................................................................. DYNOHUNTER & EVANOFF APR 15 ............................................................................................... JAI WOLF

APR 29 ....................... RICHARD CHEESE & LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE MAY 7 ................................................................................. BOB MOULD BAND MAY 9 ............................................................................................... THE WAIFS MAY 10 & 11 ............................................................................. DAVID SEDARIS MAY 20 ............................................................................... DESERT DWELLERS JUNE 7 ........................................... SAM BEAM (IRON & WINE) & JESCA HOOP

Boulder Weekly

Courtesy of Scott Schumann

SCOTT SCHUMANN.

8 P.M. THURSDAY, MARCH 3, THE LAUGHING GOAT COFFEEHOUSE, 1709 PEARL ST., BOULDER, 303-440-4628.

Music Aaron Kamm and the One Drops. 7 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. The Alcapones. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-3288328. Antonio Lopez, Wilson Harwood. 7 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. Bluegrass Jam. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing Company, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Lafayette, 303-339-0767.

Boulder Swing Collective. 9 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303993-2094.

Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

C-Bob’s Gin Joint Jam. 6 p.m. Vapor Distillery, 5311 Western Avenue, Suite 180, Boulder, 303-997-6134.

Greg Schochet Duo. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Danny Shafer. 7:30 p.m. Samples World Bistro, 370 Main St., Longmont, 303-3279318. DJ Done. 9 p.m. Breaker’s Grill, 380 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-3839. George Nelson Trio. 9 p.m. License No. 1, 2115 13th St., Boulder, 303-442-4344. Goatz. 7 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303

Return to Forbidden Planet

Reel Women: Showcase of Woman Film Directors

University of Colorado, University Theatre Building, 303-492-8008. March 3 through March 13.

7 p.m. Thursday, March 3, Boulder Center for Conscious Community, 1637 28th St., Boulder. 303-938-9191.

Laugh

Boulder Weekly

In the 88 years of Academy Awards, only one woman has taken home the prize for best director. If you’d like to see that number grow, stop by the Women’s Wilderness Showcase of Women Film Directors. The night will feature various short films from women covering topics all over the globe. Women’s Wilderness Executive Director Emily Isaacs says it’s important to diversify the dominant perspective seen in Hollywood movies. “If we just have stories that are told by a certain sort of storyteller, it creates this illusion that that’s the only story to be told ... and [these films] are breaking that idea up.”

Watch

Courtesy of CU

The strength of Shakespeare’s plays are their malleability. Reshaping and remixing his work opens the door for new audiences and fans to relate to his work. Starting March 4, The Bard is taking over CU’s University Theatre with Return to the Forbidden Planet. This timebending show takes the 1611 play The Tempest and the 1956 film Forbidden Planet and sets it in the future, along with performances of tunes form the ’50s and ’60s. You’ll see light saber fights, a mad scientist, an evil space monster and a stage-sized spaceship. From classics to campy, this show has something for everyone.

Godlaser. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

House Of Joy. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-4069696. Intuit Band Duo. 9 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-2593555. see EVENTS Page 40

Naomi Klein on Climate Change 6 p.m. Thursday, March 3, University of Colorado, Glenn Miller Ballroom, 1669 Euclid Ave., Boulder. Mariusz Kubik/Wikimedia Climate change is a complex issue intertwined in multiple international arenas. Award-wining journalist and national best seller Naomi Klein is headed to the University of Colorado to focus on the relationship between the economy and climate change. At the event, she’ll be talking about her latest book This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate. Klien will also address how climate change can be seen as an opportunity to revolutionize economic and cultural values, as people unite together to create a sustainable earth. Free with a valid Buff Card, $5 for the general public.

Discuss

Thursday, March 3 SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly. com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

March 3, 2016 39

events

EVENTS from Page 39

arts

Karaoke featuring DJ BeatLove. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303665-2757. LO 5. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Open Jam. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733.

Live Entertainment Nightly at our 1709 Pearl St location THURSDAY MARCH 3

SCOTT SCHUMANN 8PM B FORREST 9PM FRIDAY MARCH 4 8PM

RAMAYA & THE TROUBADOURS SATURDAY MARCH 5

PHILLIP MARK 8PM GANG FORWARD 9PM SUNDAY MARCH 6

AMI MADELEINE 8PM THE BATTLEFIELD 9PM MONDAY MARCH 7 8PM

POETRY NIGHT

“So, You’re a Poet,” presents

BEAT BOOK SHOP 26 YEAR ANNI(VERS)ARY OPEN POETRY READING TUESDAY MARCH 8 8PM

JAZZ NIGHT with ESPRESSO!

WEDNESDAY MARCH 9 8PM

JAZZ NIGHT with GINA SOBEL QUARTET

THURSDAY MARCH 10

MELANIE DEVANEY 8PM THE RABBIT’S ATOM 9PM Happy Hour 4-8 Every Day THELAUGHINGGOAT.COM 40 March 3, 2016

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397. The Revivalists. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Scott Schumann. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Events Late Night At The Museum. 6 p.m. Longmont Museum, 400 Quail Road, Longmont, 303-6518374. Open Access For Painters & Potters. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Sangeeta Reddy: Fractured Landscapes of the West Opening Reception. 6 p.m. Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art, 1750 13th St., Boulder, 303-443-2122. Friday, March 4 Music Arthur Lee Land. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Aural Elixir. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555. Banshee Tree. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. The Battlefield. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. Beatspeak. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Bill McKay. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Brian Laidlaw. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185. Brothers Gow. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Chris Daniels & The Kings, Rachel and the Ruckus. 8 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397. Corey Rezner. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064. Daniella Katzir. 5 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768. Defunkt Railroad. 7:30 p.m. American Legion Post 10, 4760 28th Ave., Boulder, 303-4429551. Fire It Up Brass Band. 9:30 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-3288328.

Jill Powers

Collection of Ancient Chinese Art. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder. 303-492-8300. Through June 25.

A Place in the Sun. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720865-5000. Through April 24. Above the Fold: New Expression in Origami. The Longmont Museum, 350 Kimbark Street, Longmont, 303-776-6050. Through May 1. Art of the State 2016. Arvada Center, 6901 Wadsworth Blvd., Arvada, 720-8987200. Through March 27. Be Here Now: Conversations Between Objects. CU Art Museum, 1085 18th St., Boulder. 303-492-8300. Through March 19.

Make Your Own Friends — by Brian Bress. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303298-7554. Through July 3.

Learn about ocenic change through seaweed in the new exhibit at the Dairy Arts Center with pieces like “Essential Waters” kozo sculpture by Jill Powers.

Case Work. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through April 17. Critical Focus: Lanny DeVuono — by Laura Shill. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through June 5. Encounters 2016. Firehouse Art Center, 667, Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-2787. Through April 4. The Engaged Object. Foothills Art Center, 809 15th St., Golden, 303-279-3922. Through March 26. Holdfast: Seaweeds in a Time of Oceanic Change — Jill Powers. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Through April 8. Life and Afterlife: Selections from the King

Kung Fu, Earphunk. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Lionel Young Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Michelle Roderick Trio. 7 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-7747698. Moses Jones Band. 9 p.m. Breaker’s Grill, 380 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-3839. Ramaya & The Troubadours. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Robin Lewis. 7:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. We Dream Dawn. 8:30 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303449-0120. Events

First Friday. 6 p.m. Rocky Ridge Music Academy, 3970 Broadway, Unit 201E, Boulder, 970-5864031.

Holdfast: Seaweeds In A Time Of Oceanic Change. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-444-7328.

Forever Dangerous. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

The Importance of Being Earnest. 3 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Johnny O Band. 10 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. KC Groves Duo. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Labyrinth. 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

The Neighbors — by Arne Svenson. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303298-7554. Through June 5. Pastel Paintings by Diane Wood. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through April 1.

Plein Air Pastel Painting by Sandra Haberkorn. Community Art Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through April 1. Phantom Touch — by Laura Shill. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through July 3. Revolt 1680/2180: Virgil Ortiz. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through May 1. Robert Therrien. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Aug. 7. Samurai. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through June 5.

NoBo First Friday Artwalk. 6 p.m. NoBo Art District, North Broadway from Pine St. to Highway 36, Boulder, 888-827-8566 ext. 8000. Saturday, March 5 Music Andrew Wynne’s Acoustic Apres Ski Party. 1 p.m. Ski Eldora (Corona Bar), 2861 Eldora Ski Road, Suite 140, Eldora Mountain Resort, Nederland, 303-440-8700. The Aristocats. 7:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. BIFF After Dark (B.A.D) Party with The Burroughs. 9:30 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder, 303-786-7030. Brothers Gow. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Dean Himes. 6:30 p.m. Front Range Brewing, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Suite 1650, Layfayette, 303-339-0767. Defunkt Railroad. 4 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847. Dueling Ukes. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776-BIKE. DJ BabyBoy. 9 p.m. Breaker’s Grill, 380 Main St., Longmont, 303-772-3839.

see EVENTS Page 42

Boulder Weekly

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March 3, 2016 41

events

EVENTS from Page 40

A gathering place for great food, drinks & entertainment Buy Tickets: www.nissis.com BOOK YOUR NEXT PRIVATE EVENT AT NISSI’S Have your next business meeting, celebration, Benefit, or wedding at Nissis. Award winning Cuisine & service and world class sound in a beautiful and artistic setting

www.nissis.com/events

Upcoming Events & Entertainment Thursday March 3

KARAOKE FEATURING DJ BEATLOVE FREE ADMISSION

Friday March 4

FOREVER DANGEROUS A TRIBUTE TO THE KING OF POP, MICHAEL JACKSON “Dance / Pop”

Saturday March 5

HOMESLICE BAND “Variety Dance”

Sunday March 6

SKANSON & HANSON “TICKET TO RIDE” ‘A BEATLE BON VOYAGE’! “Virtuoso Guitar”

Wednesday March 9

WEDNESDAY NIGHT BLUES FEATURING

DAVID BOOKER BLUES BAND FREE ADMISSION

Thursday March 10

NORTH BOULDER UNDERGROUND “Acoustic Rock” FREE ADMISSION

The Fold & Maiden Denver. 8 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-2976397. Foxfeather. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Fred Dawson. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770. Groovealicious. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Happy Hour Live Jazz. 5:30 p.m. Tandoori Grill South, 619 S. Broadway, Boulder. HomeSlice Band. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Jeffrey Cramer with Nancy Merrill. 4 p.m. Wibby Brewing, 209 Emery St., Longmont, 303776-4594. Johanna Winkel. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. John McKay. 7 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Marcus Lucas Show. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Masontown. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Master Class: Takacs Quartet. 4:30 p.m. Chamber Hall, Imig Music, CU Boulder, 1020 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-6352. Matty G Band. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. The Mighty Twisters. 9:30 p.m. The Dark Horse, 2922 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-8162. Mitchel Evan and the Mangrove. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Mojomama Live. 8:30 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728. Phillip Mark, Gang Forward. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. The Prairie Scholars. 8:30 p.m. Samples World Bistro, 370 Main St., Longmont, 303-327-9318. Signel-Z, DJ WayWay. 6 p.m. Odd13 Brewing, 301 E. Simpson St., Lafayette, 303-997-4164. Taylor Radio. 8 p.m. Liquid Mechanics Brewing Company, 297 U.S. 287, Lafayette, 720-5507813.

Friday March 11

Thomas Gronberg. 10:30 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

“80’s Pop”

Saturday March 12

Tom Weiser Jazz Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985.

A TRIBUTE TO THE ALLMAN BROTHERS

Wild Road Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

THAT EIGHTIES BAND MY BLUE SKY Sunday March 13

OLD’S COOL ROCK “Classic Rock”

Thursday March 17 Boulder Weekly presents

ST PATRICK’S PARTY WITH

HAZEL O’MILLER Give the Gift of a Great Night Out!

Nissi’s Gift Cards available @ nissis.com

2675 NORTH PARK DRIVE (SE Corner of 95th & Arapahoe)

LAFAYETTE, CO 303.665.2757 42 March 3, 2016

Wylie Jones Solo. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub & Taphopuse, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886. Events 17th Annual Animation Show of Shows. 11 a.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Awake: The Life of Yogananda. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Cisco and Bear! 6 p.m. Blue Owl Books, 176 Highway 119, Nederland, 303-258-3695. Lyons Old-Time Square Dance. 7 p.m. Mayama Movement Studio, 625 Fourth Ave., Lyons, 720245-5448.

theater Michael Ensminger

4000 Miles. Miner’s Alley Theatre, 1224 Washington Ave., Golden, 303-935-3044. Through March 6. Boeing Boeing. Longmont Theatre Company. 513 Main St., Longmont. 303-772-5200. Through March 5. Fade. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239, Through Mar. 13. Ideation — presented by Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company. MobileDay, 2040 14th St., Boulder, 303-351-2382. Through March 13. Peter & Star Catcher. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through May 14. Sherlock Holmes Assassins at Sea. Theater Company of Lafayette, 300 E. Simpson Street, Lafayette, 720-209-2154. Through March 26.

Saturday Morning Groove. 10:30 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299. Second Annual Hemp Awards & Festival. 5:30 a.m. Barn A, Boulder County Fairgrounds, 9595 Nelson Road, Longmont, 303-678-6235. Sunday, March 6 Music Ami Madeleine, The Battlefield. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Bluegrass Pick. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. Bonnie and Taylor Sims. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

words

BETC’s Ideation takes its conference room setting to an actual conference room by performing at MobileDay and Boulder Chamber of Commerce. Read BW’s review on page 35.

Foxfeather. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258. Geraldine Walther & Susan Olenwine. 4 p.m. Canyon Theater, Boulder Public Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Guest Recital: Maggie Snyder, Viola And Tim Lovelace, Piano. 2 p.m. Grusin Music Hall, Imig Building, CU Boulder, 1020 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-1411. Johnny O Band. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Lee Johnson. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Liebermonster. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886. see EVENTS Page 44

Katie Jacobs

Thursday, March 3 Jimmy Santiago Baca — Singing at the Gates. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. Vicki Mandeli-King. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave, Boulder, 303-495-3303. Friday, March 4 Rob Bell — How to be Here. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. Monday, March 7 Nobel Lecture Series: Svetlana Alexievich. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. “So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Tuesday, March 8 Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave, Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Actress Amber Tamblyn explores the early deaths of other actresses in her new book of poetry, Dark Sparkler. Read more on page 31. Wednesday, March 9 MFA Reading: Liz McGehee. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1301 Pennsylvania Ave, Boulder, 303-495-3303. Amber Tamblyn — Dark Sparkler. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

Boulder Weekly

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events EVENTS from Page 42

Maya Bennett. 10:30 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345. Merriment & Majesty. 3 p.m. LifeBridge Christian Church, 10345 Ute Highway (Highway 66), Longmont, 720-443-1605. Open Bluegrass Pick with Pat Fiddle and New Grass. 1 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. Skanson & Hansen “Ticket to Ride” A Beatle Bon Voyage. 7 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Events Movement Mondays. 7 p.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299.

facebook.com/larrys-guitars

508 5th Ave., Longmont CO 80501 • 720-340-4169 • www.larrysguitars.com

Nurturing Your Connection to Yourself and Others. 2 p.m. Bodywork Bistro Living Arts Center, 3825 Iris Ave., Suite 300, Boulder, 510379-4057.

Events Boulder Industry Night. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. River of Fundament: Act I. 2 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-4407826.

9pm-1am

River of Fundament: Act II. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

DJ ON SATURDAY NIGHTS Sat. Mar. 5

River of Fundament: Act III. 7 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

From KS 107.5 9pm-1:30am

Now Serving Sunday Brunch 10am-2pm

380 Main St. Longmont, CO 303-772-3839 longmontrestaurants.co

44 March 3, 2016

Witherward. 9 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768.

Moses Jones Band

DJ Baby Boy

River of Fundament: Act I. 2 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Wednesday, March 9

Policulture. 9:30 p.m. Southern Sun Pub & Brewery, 627 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-5430886.

LIVE BAND ON FRIDAY NIGHTS Fri. Mar. 4

Das Boot Trivia. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328.

River of Fundament: Act III. 8:15 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Open Stage. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

EVERY THURSDAY 9pm-1am

Events

River of Fundament: Act III. 7 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Open Mic. 8 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884.

DJ Done & LADIES NIGHT

The Robin Davis Duo. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 S. Flatiron Court, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

River of Fundament: Act II. 6:15 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Music

WE OFFER Large Menu Selection & Daily Specials Daily Drink Specials 28 Taps & Large Selection of Craft Beers 16 Large Screen TVs 8 Billiard Tables Dart Boards Video Games

Open Mic with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698.

River of Fundament: Act II. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Monday, March 7

KARAOKE

Open Mic Hosted by Danny Shafer. 8 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-4491922.

River of Fundament: Act I. 4 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Second Annual Hemp Awards & Festival. 10:30 a.m. Barn A, Boulder County Fair grounds, 9595 Nelson Road, Longmont, 303-678-6235.

PROUD SPONSOR

Open Mic. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing Company, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Lafayette, 303-3390767.

Tuesday, March 8 Music Bluegrass Pick. 8 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Espresso! 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Music 50 Shades of Blue. 7 p.m. Rosalee’s Pizzeria, 461 Main St., Longmont, 303-485-5020. Ash Ganely. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Blues Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Cocktail Hour With Jim Kurty. 4 p.m. Flatirons Terrace, 930 28th St., Boulder, 303-939-0898. David Booker Blues Band. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Flash Mountain Flood. 8 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-8498458. Jackie Greene. 7 p.m. eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder, 303-443-8696. Karaoke. 9 p.m. Bohemian Biergarten, 2017 13th St., Boulder, 720-328-8328. Lyons High School Jazz. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Open Bluegrass Pick hosted by Kyle Ussery. 8:30 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. Paper Moonshine. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4404628. Wednesday Night Blues featuring the David Booker Blues Band. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Events Jafar Panahi’s Taxi. 7 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Gasoline Lollipops. 8:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094.

Laugh Your Wheels Off Comedy Night. 6 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120.

Jalbatross. 9 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458.

A Perfect Day. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Open Jam Hosted by: Lady and The Gentlemen. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Boulder Weekly

American Life in Poetry: Column 568 by Freya Manfred

It’s said that each of us undergoes gradual change and that every seven years we are essentially a new person. Here’s a poem by Freya Manfred, who lives in Stillwater, Minnesota, about the changes in a long marriage. Her most recent book is Speak, Mother, published by Red Dragonfly Press. — Ted Kooser, U. S. Poet Laureate

This Stranger, My Husband The older we get the stranger my husband becomes, and the less certain I am that I know him. We used to lie eye to eye, breathing together in the immensity of each moment. Lithe and starry-eyed, we could leap fences even with babies on our backs. His eyes still dream off toward something in the distance I can’t see; but now he gazes more zealously, and leaps into battle with a more certain voice over politics, religion, or art, and some old friends won’t come to dinner. The molecules of our bodies spiral off into the stars on winds of change and chance, as we welcome the unknown, the incalculable, the spirit and heart of everything we named and knew so well— and never truly named, or knew, but only loved, at last.

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Send poetry submissions of 250 words or fewer to poetry@boulderweekly.com.

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We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2015 by Freya Manfred, “This Stranger, My Husband,” from Speak, Mother, (Red Dragonfly Press, 2015). Poem reprinted by permission of Freya Manfred and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2015 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Antiques • Furniture • Home Decor • Jewerly • Art 4919 N. Broadway, Boulder, CO 303.447.0417 • wwwtheamazinggaragesale.com Boulder Weekly

March 3, 2016 45

The Cleaning Fairies We give you your weekends back!

Specializing In: Residential, Construction, Move Out & Move In, and Commercial Cleans. E NJO USE ! Y THE DAY O H N A W I T H A C LE 720v565v3411 • boulderfairies@gmail.com www.cleaningfairies.com An evening with the Pulitzer Prize-winning Author of A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD

JENNIFER

EGAN

In conversation with novelist Laird Hunt © Pieter M. Van Hattem

7 p.m. Thursday

March 17, 2016

Canyon Theater

Boulder Public Library

1001 Arapahoe Avenue, Boulder, CO 80302

$20 General Admission or $40 Library All-Star*

Made possible through the generous support of the

*Includes pre-show reception with the author! Proceeds from ticket sales support programming at the Boulder Public Library.

Tickets:

boulderlibrary.org/speaker-series Books for sale courtesy of Boulder Book Store.

46 March 3, 2016

Speaker Series

screen Red, white and very blue ‘Where to Invade Next’ enrages and depresses  by Ryan Syrek

don’t know who Michael Moore is making movies for at this point. That’s not an indictment or even a suggestion that Where to Invade Next isn’t fascinating. It’s just that, by this point in his outspoken career, Moore is essentially Voldemort to conservatives and a somewhat boorish mouthpiece for liberal ideology. If his intent is to educate or influence those who don’t agree with him, he will continue to fail spectacularly, as watching a Michael Moore movie is mental waterboarding to Red voters. If his films are for the liberal legion, we only get madder seeing further proof of how America calling itself “the greatest nation in the world” is like how Marco Rubio declared “victory” after finishing third in a primary to a reality TV star and the possible Zodiac Killer. So I guess he’s just making these documentaries to piss everybody off? Where to Invade Next pissed me off. Mostly because it’s maddening to see how other industrialized countries extremely similar to ours do things so much better than we do with insane ease. The conceit of the film is that, instead of sending our military various places and killing a whole bunch of innocent folks, Moore will “invade” countries and “claim” the parts of their culture we need here. It’s a silly way of saying the film explores how other countries seem to operate under the delusional premise that everyone should be healthy and happy. In Italy, Moore discovers that workers have a stupid Michael Moore is back at it again, this time with a documentary that explores what the U.S. should amount of mandated paid “steal” from other countries. vacation time (think months, not days). In France, he sees that school cafeteria lunches are more Gordon Ramsey and less Guy Fieri. Oh, and their sex education would make Texas PTA members go loco for Cocoa Puffs. In Finland, Moore finds that the country ranked highest in education in the world doesn’t believe in homework or use standardized testing. Slovenia has free college, Germany has a thriving middle class, Portugal made all drugs legal and so on and so on... Everybody is doing better than us at everything and it sucks. Honestly, at a certain point, it feels like Moore is just piling on. It’s emotionally fatiguing to see the respect in other countries that those in power, both in the private and public sectors, have for everyone’s well-being... and then remember something like Flint’s water. In a weird way, Where to Invade Next is actually harder to watch for those who agree with Moore because it is gut-punch-and-jaw-drop brutal how far America is behind. A particularly poignant scene halfway through is a reminder, above all else, Moore is still a deft filmmaker capable of provoking intense emotion, as he contemplates America’s unwillingness to admit the sins of our past. It’s deeply disturbing in the most thoughtful way. Honestly, that’s really a good way to describe the whole film: Where to Invade Next is a bit overlong and slightly overkill, but it is also fascinating and utterly depressing in a very profound way. This review first appeared in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

Boulder Weekly

film

Hold Me While I’m Naked hits the Brakhage Symposium along with one of its actresses Donna Kerness.

o borrow a line from French ON THE BILL: 2016 Brakhage Center Symposium: A Tribute to filmmaker and critic, Jean-Luc George Kuchar. March 4–6. Godard, “Cinema is everyUniversity of Colorado Boulder, where.” And from March 4-6, ATLAS 100 — Cofrin Auditorium, 1125 18th St., Boulder. All events are cinema is indeed everywhere in free and open to the public, Boulder. Around Boulder, Longmont and colorado.edu/brakhagecenter/ Broomfield, the Boulder International Film symposium-2016 Festival screens over 50 features, documentaries and shorts from all over the world, covering a plethora of cinematic tastes. The International Film Series is playing one of the true masterpieces of the horror genre, 1922’s Nosferatu and the Boedecker is screening Matthew Barney’s six-hour operatic art film, River of Fundament. But for the truly cinematic adventurous, University of Colorado Boulder is hosting the 2016 Brakhage Symposium, screening more than 20 experimental works that will confront and subvert viewers’ very notions of cinema. Former CU professor Stan Brakhage was an experimental filmmaker of pure abstraction, yet his effect on cinematic narrative is palpable. Fellow professor and friend, Dr. Suranjan Ganguly is the director of the Stan Brakhage Center at CU and since 2005, the center has hosted a symposium that not only honors Brakhage but also exhibits the type of works Brakhage helped pioneer. This year’s symposium is a tribute to George Kuchar, a filmmaker whose short, no-budget works are campy, witty and whimsical. Writing in 2006, media theorist Gene Youngblood describes the underground director’s work as, “transgressive and subversive — transgressive sexually (he’s among the pioneers of queer and camp cinema) and in its scatological breach of decorum; subversive in its zero-budget triumph over commodity cinema, the triumph of amateur over professional.” Drawing between the years 1964 and 1994, the symposium will screen 11 of Kuchar’s works as well as Jennifer Kroot’s documentary, It Came From Kuchar, which will play Saturday morning and provide historical context for understanding Kuchar’s aesthetic. Kuchar’s twin, Michael Kuchar, will attend a Sunday afternoon panel discussion about his brother’s work as well as present his own creations (March 5, 7:30 p.m.). Actress Donna Kerness, who appears in Lust for Ecstasy and Hold Me While I’m Naked, will be on hand March 6 to present both movies and participate in the Kuchar panel. As will video artist and editor of The George Kuchar Reader, Andrew Lampert, City College of San Francisco professor Denah Johnston and filmmaker Nancy Andrews. How the image makes its way to the screen is just as important as what that image is. Kuchar found many different ways to morph and change the shape of things to come. It’s cinema on the wild side, the kind that challenges and confronts.

Cinema’s walk on the wild side Brakhage Center Symposium to honor George Kuchar by Michael J. Casey

Boulder Weekly

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Boulder Weekly

cuisine review Matt Cortina

Los Dos Bros Mexican Food truck mobile, Boulder County, 720-352-0936

Good fit

Los Dos Bros food truck adds to a critical Boulder County culinary niche by Matt Cortina

nce relegated to geographic pockets, the taco stand has now become a fixture across the culinary map of America. The taco is the paradigm of handheld street food, and there is no better way to hand-off that street food than via stand or truck. Why muss up a simple process with brick and mortar, when wheels and sidewalks are all that’s necessary for a successful, gratifying taco exchange process? So if we view the taco truck or stand as integral to a vibrant food scene, then it’s hard to have enough. In Boulder County at least, we don’t have enough. But Los Dos Bros Mexican Food launched their food truck enterprise recently, slinging mostly tacos, and so far, so good. The truck is a simple trailer with glass windows on 50 percent of the façade, letting passers-by look into the operation. I stepped up to the truck early in the shift one recent evening, when only uno bro was working, lamenting the fact that the dos bro hadn’t arrived yet. As uno bro in a set of dos bros myself, I found uno bro’s frustration over dos bro’s absence both highly believable and endearing.

But even though Los Dos Bros are still unclinking their business clanks — there was a long period of waiting for a salsa container, and a patron behind me shivered for a while before her order was taken — the present bro worked furiously on the open skillet and assembled and packaged three taco platters in relative no-time. I order tacos al pastor, asada and seafood. The tacos each came assembled in a container, laid open-faced with meat and fixings piled artfully on top of doublebacked, fun-size tortillas. Plops of rice and beans came on the side, and “Cuidado! Muy Caliente!” red salsa that really is quite caliente, even muy, is available to squirt onto any- and everything. The tacos al pastor were comfort bombs made for

the hungry and tired. The pork meat was spiced well, with substantial heat, and ample, large chunks of pineapple adorned the spread. Big slivers of grilled white onion added crunch to the tacos, and brought out the sweet pucker of pineapple. Browning from the grill on the onion and light char on the tortillas added a slightly bitter crunch. The asada tacos were a simpler affair. Again, an ample amount of meat was piled onto five open-faced tortillas, with browned onion and cilantro. Lime juice, squeezed by the eater, brought out the black pepper and char of the steak, the sweetness of the onion and the bite of cilantro. The meat was tender, though not as fully broken down as it could’ve been, and substantial. The seafood taco was a great surprise. Big chunks of blackened shrimp and white fish were placed underneath a small amount of crispy coleslaw and a spicy chipotle sauce. The fish was expertly cooked — tender with just a bit of crunch from the blackening — and the shrimp was plump and provided a nice textural balance to the fish. The whole taco felt out of place in Colorado, where I’ve found it hard to find reliable, fresh, casual seafood. It’s a credit to Los Dos Bros that they secured such quality seafood and prepared it simply and well. In fact, in the spirit of its food truck and tacopurveying brethren, Los Dos Bros make simple food at low cost in a casual setting. They fit right into a growing Boulder County casual food scene.

Serving The BEST Thai Cuisine in Boulder County! LUNCH: Mon-Fri 11am-4pm DINNER: Mon-Fri 4-10pm • Sat/Sun 5-10pm

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March 3, 2016 49

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nibbles

Susan France

Savory pancakes allow for creativity in the kitchen. You can throw almost any vegetable laying around in the batter.

BATTER UP

SAVORY PANCAKES INSPIRE AN IMPROVISATIONAL COOKING APPROACH BY JOHN LEHNDORFF

Susan France

had left Mom and the McGill University cafeteria behind circa 1973, and faced the prospect of feeding myself for the first time. Our apartment full of broke student hippies looked for cheap meal solutions that were adaptable, given the presence of the first vegetarian I had encountered in my life. We found supper inspiration in the seminal natural foods guide, The Tassajara Cookbook (Shambhala) by Zen monk Edward Espe Brown. Expecting an exact formula, the recipe for Japanese pancakes (okonomiyaki) was artfully inexact. It called for adding various finely chopped vegetables, but the number and quantity and spicing was suggestive and inexact. I liked to sprinkle the top with shredded cheese before flipping the pancake for a hint of grilled cheese. It dawned on me that that I could put just about anything in them. It got me thinking I could go outside the box that enclosed every recipe. see NIBBLES Page 52 Create the base of a savory pancake with pancake and cornbread mix, olive oil and eggs.

Boulder Weekly

March 3, 2016 51

Susan France

nibbles

Susan France

NIBBLES from Page 51

Carrots, chilies, throw whatever you can in the batter.

Creamed corn on the pancakes, to be cooked underside.

When it came to a topping, some roommates went with soy sauce, others opted for the potato latke look with sour cream and applesauce. I topped my cakes with traditional butter and maple syrup, which went surprisingly well with the onion, garlic and potatoes in the pancakes. When I made vegetable pancakes again recently, I was inspired by the Indian pancakes (uthappam) I’d tasted

at Masala restaurant in Aurora. Improvisation led me to combine pancake mix and cornbread mix in a bowl with two eggs and some olive oil. I shredded some of every vegetable I had in the house: carrot, potato, cabbage, yellow onion, garlic, sweet potato, serrano chile and canned corn. I seasoned with ground black pepper, red pepper flakes, random spices and diverse dry green herbs. I added milk to get the right batter consistency, but coconut milk also works well and adds to the flavor. Cooking the vegetable pancakes in a skillet with a generous amount of olive oil, I topped one with a layer of roasted, unsalted peanuts. Over the years I’ve been known to add crumbled bacon or smoked brisket, often crowned with poached eggs. I haven’t used these dense savory cakes as a bun for a medium rare bacon cheeseburger, at least not yet.

Local food news update

Chef Ian Clark of BRU handbuilt ales & eats will open Heifer and the Hen, a new artisan ice cream shop, at 5290 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, in April. Flavors will range from Vietnamese Coffee to Mango Lassi. ... BlueBox Doughnuts, an independent bakery, opened recently at 459 S. McCaslin Blvd. in Louisville. … Crust lovers! Humble Pie has reopened at 3550 E. Colfax Ave. in Denver, serving a full line of fruit and nut pies, quiches, Bubbie’s Chicken Pot Pie and an amazing pastry-wrapped meatball. … Denver’s Linger restaurant now offers steamed cricket-and-cheese rellenos with cotija, queso fresco and cream cheeses with a crunchy fried cricket garnish. Linger orders free-range crickets from Rocky Mountain Micro Ranch, where the “livestock” is finished on a happy diet of organic vegetable scraps and spent brewery grain. … Artisan bitters maker DRAM Apothecary in Silver Plume has introduced DRAM Switchel, a concentrated elixir created from honey, organic apple cider vinegar, ginger and cinnamon. Add a tablespoon of this traditional switchel to a cup of warm water or glass of chilled sparkling water for a nifty refresher, or use as an ingredient in cocktails, marinades and salad dressings.

Whither Wild Oats?

You remember Wild Oats Markets, right? To recap, in the beginning of Boulder’s natural foods lineage there were small, natural food grocers includsee NIBBLES Page 54

52 March 3, 2016

Boulder Weekly

March 3, 2016 53

nibbles

John Lehndorff

NIBBLES from Page 52

The once prestigious Wild Oats brand has now been usurped by Walmart.

ing Green Mountain Grainery, Arati Grocery and New Age Foods. Those businesses begat the Pearl Street Market, which moved and became Alfalfa’s Market, which then became a chain. Crystal Market opened and morphed into the Wild Oats Market chain which swallowed Alfalfa’s, and was itself digested by Whole Foods Market. Later, Sunflower Market was absorbed by Sprouts Farmers Market and Colorado-

born Vitamin Cottage mutated into Natural Grocers while Lucky’s Market grew and grew into a national chain. That’s the abridged version. Alfalfa’s Market was eventually reborn and now has stores in Boulder and Louisville. The other day I discovered that Wild Oats had returned, too, although in a highly ironic sense only. Walmart picked up the rights to the Wild Oats name and now uses it

as a house organic brand on cereal and other food products.

Culinary calendar

Haystack Goat Cheese hosts its inaugural Open Creamery social hour, tour and cheese tasting 3-6 p.m. Friday at the new creamery, 505 Weaver Park Road in Longmont. www.haystackgoatcheese.com … The Boulder International Film Festival’s CineChef event March 4 at Boulder’s Rembrandt Yard boasts fare from major local chefs including Jen Bush, Jessica Emich, Bradford Heap, Mark Monette, Hosea Rosenberg and Alec Schuler. The tasting is followed by a screening of the film City of Gold, a documentary about an endangered species: the professional dining critic. www.biff1.com.

Taste of the week

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Let us contemplate the glory that is grilled, toasted or flambe cheese. Is there anything better? I have my doubts after tasting the great John Lehndorff fried cheese taco at Verde, 3070 28th St. in Boulder, the brick-and-mortar location for the popular Verde food truck. They sizzle a flour tortiVerde’s creation. lla completely covered and then some with grated Mexican cheeses on a hot griddle where the fromage browns, crisps and melts before the addition of good guacamole, pico de gallo and salsa. The taco went well with the chile-infused black beans topped with crumbled cotija cheese. Also on the menu: Sonoran hot dog sliders and a long tequila list.

Words to chew on

“Is food the enemy? Giving a dinner party has become an ordeal. I lie awake the night before figuring how to produce a feast that is vegan, gluten free, macrobiotic, avoiding all acidic fruit and tomatoes, wine, all nuts, low carb and still edible.” — From the poem “Let’s Meet in a Restaurant” by Marge Piercy. Tune in 8:30-9:30 a.m. today (March 3) when John Lehndorff hosts a special extended Radio Nibbles during the spring membership drive on KGNU (88.5 FM, 1390 FM, streaming at kgnu.org). Call-in with culinary and dining questions at 303-449-4885.Comments or quibbles? E-mail radionibbles@kgnu.org. Boulder Weekly

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drink Upslope’s bacon grätzer is weirdly good by Matt Cortina

s it possible to create an elegant bacon beer? Should we, as consumers, even want an elegant bacon beer? The answers to these questions and more can be found at the bottom of a snifter of Upslope Brewing Company’s bacon grätzer, which is being served at their taprooms now. The grätzer, also known as the grodziskie, is a Polish-style, sweet and light beer with low alcohol content, low hops, high carbonation and a distinct smoky flavor. That smoke is derived from the grain, which undergoes a unique process. In order for the beer to be a grätzer, wheat must be dried directly over a fire of burning oak logs. This imparts strong smoke aroma and flavor into the wheat, a process that doesn’t happen in more traditional drying methods where hot air is diverted and doesn’t directly hit the grains. The direct smoke also helps preserve the beer and ensures a long shelf life. Grätzer has always typically been made with a low alcohol content — around 3 percent ABV — and Upslope’s Matt Cortina variety comes in at 3.5 percent. What separates Upslope’s variety from traditional grätzers is, of course, the addition of bacon. Upslope brewers added 40 pounds of cooked bacon in the boiling process, along with noble hops. Adding the bacon at that stage, as opposed to fermentation or aging, ensures food safety while also extracting flavor from the meat. What results at the end of the brewing process for Upslope is a goldenrod yellow beer with ultra-fizzy carbonation and a delicate, purewhite head. It’s served in snifters, which given the low alcohol content and the drinkability of the beer, are emptied very quickly. The aroma is strongly bacony. Not like the smell of Upslope’s latest concoction is light and bacony. cooking bacon, but the smell of post-sizzle bacon that’s been hanging out on a communal breakfast table plate waiting for you to pick it up and eat it. There’s also a bit of grassiness and sweetness in the nose, but when you order a beer with bacon in the title, you’re basically just smelling for the nosegay of bacon. The first sip is weird. The second sip is better. And then you’re fully adjusted to the components of the beer on the third sip. It’s really light. Like you’ll get a thicker consistency out of one of those fruit-juice-added carbonated waters. And yet there is a deep smoky bacon flavor that your tongue associates with crunch, salt, savory and thickness — elements that just aren’t there. Anyway, you buck up eventually is the point, and once you get a few sips in, the bacon flavor resembles, identically, bonito flakes — dried and smoked tuna. And that sounds gross, but it’s not. And it makes a lot of sense that bacon and light wheat beer would combine to create that flavor. It is moist, light, smoky and salty, the perfect flavor-child of Upslope’s design. When you get about halfway through, the novelty of the bacon does wear off, as does the strength of its flavor, and you’re left with an ultra-light sweet beer, so that’s not great. But for the creativity, and its uniqueness, the bacon grätzer is worth a few sips. Boulder Weekly

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60 March 3, 2016

Boulder Weekly

ARIES

March 21-April 19: Actress Blythe Baird writes about the problem that arises when her dog sees her eating a peanut butter and chocolate chip bagel. Her beloved pet begs for a piece and becomes miserable when it’s not forthcoming. Baird is merely demonstrating her love, of course, because she knows that eating chocolate can make canines ill. I suspect that life is bestowing a comparable blessing on you. You may feel mad and sad about being deprived of something you want. But the likely truth is that you will be lucky not to get it.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20: “I do not literally paint that table, but rather the emotion it produces upon me,” French artist Henri Matisse told an interviewer. “But what if you don’t always have emotion?” she asked him. This is how Matisse replied: “Then I do not paint. This morning, when I came to work, I had no emotion. So I took a horseback ride. When I returned, I felt like painting, and had all the emotion I wanted.” This is excellent advice for you to keep in mind, Taurus. Even more than usual, it’s crucial that you imbue every important thing you do with pure, strong emotions. If they’re not immediately available, go in quest of them.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20: Some night soon, I predict you’ll dream of being an enlightened sovereign who presides over an ecologically sustainable paradise. You’re a visionary leader who is committed to peace and high culture, so you’ve never gone to war. You share your wealth with the people in your kingdom. You revere scientists and shamans alike, providing them with what they need to do their good work for the enhancement of the realm. Have fun imagining further details of this dream, Gemini, or else make up your own. Now is an excellent time to visualize a fairy tale version of yourself at the height of your powers, living your dreams and sharing your gifts. CANCER June 21-July 22: It’s not always necessary to have an expansive view of where you have been and where you are going, but it’s crucial right now. So I suggest that you take an

astrology

inventory of the big picpersistence. And so much ture. For guidance, study patience.” According to my this advice from philosoanalysis, Libra, you should pher Friedrich Nietzsche: be attending to this tough “What have you truly but glorious task. Although Go to RealAstrology.com to check out loved? What has uplifted the work might be hard, it Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO your soul, what has domiwon’t be anywhere near as HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE nated and delighted it at hard as it usually is. And HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes the same time? Assemble you are likely to make more are also available by phone at 1-877these revered objects in a progress than you would be 873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. row before you and they able to at other times. may reveal a law by their nature and their order: the SCORPIO fundamental law of your very self.” Oct. 23-Nov. 21: “The other day, lying in bed,” writes poet Rodger Kamenetz, “I felt my heart beating for the first time in a long while. I realized how little I live in my body, LEO how much in my mind.” He speaks for the majority of us. July 23-Aug. 22: Sportswear manufacturer Adidas is lookWe spend much of our lives entranced by the relentless ing for ways to repurpose trash that humans dump in the jabber that unfolds between our ears. But I want to let you oceans. One of its creations is a type of shoe made from illeknow, Scorpio, that the moment is ripe to rebel against this gal deep-sea nets that have been confiscated from poachers. tendency in yourself. In the coming weeks, you will have a I invite you to get inspired by Adidas’s work. From an astronatural talent for celebrating your body. You’ll be able to logical perspective, now is a good time to expand and refine commune deeply with its sensations, to learn more abut your personal approach to recycling. Brainstorm about how how it works, and to exult in the pleasure it gives you and you could convert waste and refuse into useful, beautiful the wisdom it provides. resources — not just literally, but also metaphorically. For example, is there a ruined or used-up dream that could be transformed into raw material for a shiny new dream? SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21: In his “Dream Song 67,” poet John Berryman confesses, “I am obliged to perform in complete VIRGO darkness operations of great delicacy on my self.” I hope you Aug. 23-Sept. 22: “There isn’t enough of anything as long will consider embarking on similar heroics, Sagittarius. It’s as we live,” wrote Raymond Carver. “But at intervals a not an especially favorable time to overhaul your environsweetness appears and, given a chance, prevails.” According ment or try to get people to change in accordance with your to my analysis of the astrological omens, Virgo, you’ll soon wishes. But it’s a perfect moment to spruce up your inner be gliding through one of these intervals. Now and then you world — to tinker with and refine it so that everything in may even experience the strange sensation of being comthere works with more grace. And unlike Berryman, you pletely satisfied with the quality and amount of sweetness won’t have to proceed in darkness. The light might not be that arrives. To ensure optimal results, be as free from greed bright, but there’ll be enough of a glow to see what you’re as you can possibly be. doing.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22: “For a wound to heal, you have to clean it out,” says author Yasmin Mogahed. “Again, and again, and again. And this cleaning process stings. The cleaning of a wound hurts. Yes. Healing takes so much work. So much

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Here’s the dictionary’s definition of the word “indelible:” “having the quality of being difficult to remove, wash away, blot out, or efface; inca-

pable of being canceled, lost, or forgotten.” The word is often used in reference to unpleasant matters: stains on clothes, biases that distort the truth, superstitions held with unshakable conviction or painful memories of romantic break-ups. I am happy to let you know that you now have more power than usual to dissolve seemingly indelible stuff like that. Here’s a trick that might help you: Find a new teacher or teaching that uplifts you with indelible epiphanies.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18: According to poet Tony Hoagland, most of us rarely “manage to finish a thought or a feeling; we usually get lazy or distracted and quit halfway through.” Why? Hoagland theorizes that we “don’t have the time to complete the process, and we dislike the difficulty and discomfort of the task.” There’s a cost for this negligence: “We walk around full of half-finished experiences.” That’s why Hoagland became a poet. He says that “poems model the possibility of feeling all the way through an emotional process” and “thinking all the way through a thought.” The coming weeks will be a favorable time to get more in the habit of finishing your own feelings and thoughts, Aquarius. It will also be more important than usual that you do so! (Hoagland’s comments appeared in Gulf Coast: A Journal of Literature and Fine Arts.)

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20: Unless you work at night and sleep by day, you experience the morning on a regular basis. You may have a love-hate relationship with it, because on the one hand you don’t like to leave your comfortable bed so early, and on the other hand you enjoy anticipating the interesting events ahead of you. But aside from your personal associations with the morning, this time of day has always been a potent symbol of awakenings and beginnings. Throughout history, poets have invoked it to signify purity and promise. In myth and legend, it often represents the chance to see things afresh, to be free of the past’s burdens, to love life unconditionally. Dream interpreters might suggest that a dream of morning indicates a renewed capacity to trust oneself. All of these meanings are especially apropos for you right now, Pisces.

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March 3, 2016 61

Dear Dan: I am a kinkster. I have been since I can remember (I am now 21 years old), and I’ve never told anyone about my deep dark desires until the last year. During my time at university, I made good friends with a guy who I was able to open up to about my preferences, as he had similar desires. We created a beneficial arrangement. I suddenly no longer felt like I needed to suppress my “fucked up” masochistic needs and became extremely happy © LaRae Lobdell and more comfortable with them. I keep a journal, and naturally I wrote about this arrangement and a lot of the explicit details. Last summer, my mother read my entire journal and was horrified. After she read it, I received a very nasty text message from her about how our relationship was over, she couldn’t believe what I had done, and she was no longer going to help pay for my postgraduate courses, etc. She was deeply disturbed to learn that some money she had given me for my 21st birthday was spent on a hotel room where I met up with my kinky friend. (It wasn’t like we could meet in my family home!) I never wanted my mother to know about

Boulder Weekly

SAVAGE by Dan Savage

any of this, and I feel bad for how it upset her, but this was also a huge violation of my privacy. The only way to resolve the situation was for me to pretend that I deeply regretted everything, tell her I can see now how messed up those “weird” sex practices are, and say that I’m cured and will never engage in them again. Months have passed and I’m still angry with her for having read my diary. I feel sad about the lies I told and having to pretend — still — that I regret what I did. Because the truth is I’ve never felt more like myself than when I am doing BDSM. It’s not my entire world, but it is an important part of who I am. How do you think I should take things from here? She’ll never understand, so telling her isn’t an option, but that means suppressing my deep upset at her as well. — Mother Unfairly Destroyed Daughter’s Libido Entirely

Love

Dear MUDDLE: Fuck mom; be you, MUDDLE. * Dear Dan: My husband and I met our “soul-mate parents” at our daughter’s preschool a few years ago, i.e., that rare couple with a kid the same age and the same artistic interests and political values. Our kids instantly bonded and are now BFFs. They have sleepovers, go trickor-treating together, sled together — little girl heaven. Early on, the guy called my husband and they had a hard-drinking lunch. The guy spilled his guts about a painful previous relationship. It was weird, but we wrote it off. Three years of normal interactions and a kid later, we’re really good friends with the wife, while the guy stays in the background. I decided to start up a FetLife profile for fun — my husband and I are monogamish, and this is with his okay — and I find the guy’s profile, which clearly states that his wife does not know he’s on this site.

What do I do? Pretend I never saw it? What if the wife finds out I knew? Do I tell him that I know? Most of all, I worry about the strain this would place on my daughter’s friendship. Her heart would be broken. — Has Evidence Louse Parent Making Arrangements Dear HELPMA: Mind your own business, HELPMA. * Shit, I really can’t do this one in four words. Confront your fucking mother, MUDDLE, once you’re out of grad school (priorities!), about the awful, shitty things she did to you: reading your journal; shaming you for your sexual interests and your private, consensual, respectful, and healthy sexual explorations; and her unforgivable acts of emotional and financial blackmail. And you should wave the results of this study under her nose when you confront her: livescience.com/34832bdsm-healthy-psychology.html. It’s just one of several studies showing that people who practice BDSM — not just fantasize about it but actually practice it — are psychologically healthier than vanilla people. Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter.

March 3, 2016 63

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acial prejudice is like climate change: prewould lessen laws against the possession, use and tending it doesn’t exist, or that humans growth of cannabis. Post-prohibition, that conversaaren’t a part of causing it, only makes the tion has been overshadowed by the concerns of estabproblem worse. lishing the new industry, putting regulations in place In November 2014, an article in USA and protecting public safety. Today suggested minorities receive disparate treatment According to data from a March 2015 report by in Boulder, leading City Council to commission a the Drug Policy Alliance, “Colorado Marijuana study from an independent firm to check those Arrests After Amendment 64,” total cases for possesclaims. sion decreased in Boulder County in the years folAccording to the report by the independent conlowing Amendment 64, but racial bias persists in sulting group Hillard Heintze, “Independent Analysis citations and cases that do occur. of Police Data and Review In 2010, Boulder Wikimedia Commons of Professional Police County ranked in the top Complaint Processes,” black five counties for the most people account for only 1 marijuana possession cases percent of Boulder’s populain the state, with 667. To tion, but in the areas where measure the racial disparity police have discretion, like therein, the study used an traffic citations and misdearrest rate, calculating the meanors, they were cited at number of arrests per more than twice that rate 100,000 population. For 2010, the white arrest rate every year since 2011. In is 259 and the black arrest 2015, the disproportion hit rate is 1,032 a five-year peak. Between January and This is a problem that Even after the passage of Amendment 64, people of color are still arrested more often than whites for potSeptember of 2014, belongs to everyone, but related charges. Boulder County saw only holds a special place in the 52 possessions cases, sugmarijuana community. gesting a 92 percent decrease compared to 2010 “We need to talk about it,” writes Shaleen Title, a numbers. For these 52 cases, the white arrest rate is co-founding partner of THC Staffing Group. “The marijuana industry is different from Hollywood, tech 160 and the black arrest rate is 334, more than douand every other industry currently struggling with a ble the white rate. This data indicates that while the ‘diversity’ problem. Because this industry was created number of marijuana possession arrests has dropped, by campaigns using talking points about the systemlaw enforcement practices that produce racial dispariatic destruction of communities of color to encourage ties in such arrests have not changed since the pasvoters to pass legalization. I know, because I helped sage of Amendment 64. run those campaigns, and I used those talking points And, as in the case of marijuana possession arrests, myself. We talked the talk; now we have to walk the the data reveals significant racial disparities in marijuawalk.” na public consumption citations. In Boulder the white Amendment 64 passed because it was successful rate for 2014 is 19 while the black rate is 37. in drawing support from non-users in Colorado, not As the laws change and the total number of posjust with promises of tax income to be used for session cases decrease, racial disparities persist, prischools, but with promises of decriminalization that marily due to the specific increase of charges for pub-

Boulder Weekly

lic use combined with the disproportionate rates of police contact in communities of color. Among the recommendations offered by Hillard Heintze to Boulder City Council to address overall bias was to begin collecting data about police stops made with the highest degree of discretion, such as traffic stops or field interviews. To explain, Alex Weiss of Hillard Heintze offered the example of the low level of discretion in an arrest for a person suspected of homicide versus the high degree of discretion involved in the decision to stop one car out of all the cars on the road. Tracking high-discretionary stops and interaction is key to understanding the bias that is now proven to exist, not just for the authorities but for the community so that it might monitor and hold authorities accountable. Currently, there is no data collected about traffic stops or field interviews in Boulder, although the Boulder Police Department is working on putting systems in place to do so by the end of the year. City staff and council expressed concern that asking about race and ethnicity is a sensitive issue. “Well, glaring racial disparities in law enforcement are also a sensitive issue and progressive police departments can figure out a way to do this,” said Mark Silverstein, legal director for the ACLU, at the Feb. 29 council meeting. With mounting evidence that we are living in a racially biased society, how do we check our prejudice? The change begins with City officials making steps to acknowledge and firmly articulate the problem and their part in it, not so that the community can assign blame, but so that the problem can be addressed with the urgency it deserves. This is not only essential to the integrity of policing, but as a follow-through on the promises that brought about the decriminalization of marijuana. As the industry grows and prospers, providing profit to industry owners and valuable tax dollars to the community, it cannot be forgotten that people with criminal records for possession are being kept out of the industry, and those people are mostly black.

March 3, 2016 65

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cannabis corner

by Paul Danish

Eric Holder’s marijuana problem

ast week it emerged that Eric Holder, Obama’s first attorney general, thinks marijuana should be rescheduled from a Schedule 1 controlled substance — the classification in federal law supposedly reserved for the most dangerous drugs that have no recognized medical uses (like heroin, LSD and ecstasy) — to something more appropriate. “I certainly think it ought to be rescheduled,” Holder said in an interview with the PBS show Frontline that was conducted last September but, for some reason, not released until last week. “You know, we treat marijuana in the same way that we treat heroin now, and that clearly is not appropriate. So at a minimum, I think Congress needs to do that.” What a guy. And what a perfect example of why so many Americans are losing faith in the federal government’s ability to solve problems. So Holder thinks marijuana should be rescheduled, eh? Well, why didn’t he do it? The Controlled Substances Act, the law that sets up the scheduling system, gives the attorney general of the United States the power to reschedule drugs covered by the act, or to delist them entirely. The rescheduling process can be initiated by a petition from a citizens’ group or initiated by the attorney general himself. If the latter, the attorney general asks the secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) for “a scientific and medical evaluation, and his recommendations, as to whether such a drug or other substance should be so controlled or removed as a controlled substance.” The HHS secretary’s findings on scientific and medical issues are binding on the attorney general, and if the secretary unilaterally finds the drug should not be controlled, that finding is also binding on the attorney general. In other words, Holder could have started the process for rescheduling or delisting pot on his own

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initiative, although the core of the decision to do so would rest with the HHS secretary. But Holder never had even the minimal interest or backbone required to get the ball rolling. Holder served as attorney general from the start of the Obama administration in 2009 to April 2015. According to figures in the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports, from January 2009 through December 2014, there were 4,614,516 marijuana arrests — 4,059,679 of them for possession. And during that time Holder wouldn’t lift a finger to start the rescheduling process. He wouldn’t even say marijuana should be rescheduled until he left office — and then he said the rescheduling should be done by (a Republican) Congress that he knows damn well won’t do it. Not exactly a profile in courage. In June 2013, the ACLU released a study showing that while marijuana was used by roughly the same proportions of white and black Americans, blacks were 3.73 times more likely to be arrested on pot charges than whites. Blacks make up about 13 percent of the U.S. pop-

sion about race. OK, how about starting with the role of pot busts in giving young blacks criminal records — which further foreclose the already limited economic opportunities of young blacks flowing from the collapse of the black family and second rate schools in black neighborhoods? And what about the refusal of America’s first black attorney general to do anything about it when he had the power to do so?

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ulation, but if they are 3.73 times more likely to be arrested for pot than whites, it means that blacks account for about 48 percent of the pot arrests — or about 2.2 million people on Holder’s watch. The Black Lives Matter movement has put criminal justice reform at the top of its agenda. Well, it’s hard to think of a reform that would more swiftly and decisively address the way the criminal justice system discriminates against black people than delisting marijuana from the Controlled Substances Act. One of the first things Holder said when he took office was that America needed to have an honest discus-

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March 3, 2016 67

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icumi

(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

Wait, I can’t use an app for that??

Bad news. Once again, our efforts to use our phone for every single human function have been thwarted! It’s 2016, and the people of today already have to lament that we don’t have flying cars or hoverboards or self-lace sneakers or holograms or hydrators that instantly cook food or even Jaws 19. But now another nail goes in the coffin of technological advancement as a popular phone app folds under the pressure of actually having functionality. The Instant Blood Pressure app was supposed to be an easy way to get your blood presWikimedia Commons sure reading. Just follow the ultra-medically-scientific steps of placing your smartphone on the left side of your chest while putting your index finger on the camera of your phone. Seems legit. Well, turns out, not so much. A study done by Johns Hopkins University found that almost 80 percent of people who had clinically high blood pressure were told they had normal blood pressure by the app. It can’t be! Truly astounding that a phone can’t Strangely, your smart phone isn’t great at medical exams. Who’da thunk? perform the basic functions that actual medical equipment can. To be fair, there was a warning on Instant Blood Pressure’s website that says the app “is for recreational use only.” So really, the people behind the app were doing the world a favor by creating a new source of entertainment on a Friday or Saturday night — obviously it wasn’t supposed to be for actual medical purposes. The losers of this app are the people who shelled out $4.99 for a big nothing. But it does make you wonder how these apps get regulated. Maybe it’s time to patent your “Cat Scan 2.0 for $5.99,” “Defibrillator Deluxe for $10.99” or “Prostate Examiner Pro for $1.99.”

Boulderania

It’s April 28, 2016. Boulder City Council is back from the land of endless grey skies and bookstores bigger than the Pearl Street mall, accompanied by myriad new character traits and ideas they learned from our big sister city, whose role it is to show us the way we should navigate the big bad world. The group descends on Boulder backed by countless Boulderites in business suits (note the lack of any sort of socioFlickr economic or racial diversity in the bunch), eager to share their new ideas to make Boulder great again. Matt Applebaum dons a polo shirt and slacks covered in a plethora of birds and the largest grin on his face. “I now have some ideas about how we can really spruce things up around here,” he says, as he clicks his heels together and saunters off. Boulder City Council went to Portland and Andrew Shoemaker sports a new all we got were these stupid bird t-shirts. passive-aggressive feminist attitude that leaves a smirk on his face, as he thinks he’s figured out how to make us all do whatever he says. Jan Burton returns with a new-found knowledge of everything ever written, and consistently starts every comment with “Did you read that article in the...” because, you know, someone has probably already thought of it. And Aaron Brockett has the best idea yet. What Boulder really needs to do is simply pay adult babysitters to keep all its citizens accountable to the vision of Boulder we all ascribe to. Who are we kidding? City Council didn’t go to Portland after all... instead they all holed up in a motel room in Greeley watching the entire Portlandia series. Taxpayer’s money well spent. Boulder Weekly

March 3, 2016 69

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