1 7 16 boulder weekly

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Boulder County ’s Tr ue Independent Voice / FREE / www.boulder weekly.com / Januar y 7-13, 2016


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contents NEWS:

A turning point: Will it be wolves or wells? by Caitlin Rockett

11

....................................................................... BOULDERGANIC:

A quarter centry of music and environmental hope at eTown by Mollie Putzig

15

....................................................................... ADVENTURE:

Tommy Caldwell and Scott Jurek reflect on their accomplishments and community by Mallane Dressel

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....................................................................... BUZZLEAD:

A month-by-month movie guide to 2016 by Ryan Syrek

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....................................................................... OVERTONES:

Takács Quartet explores new repertoire

by Peter Alexander

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....................................................................... ARTS & CULTURE:

Behind the designs of ‘The Hateful Eight’ by Michael J. Casey

25

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departments 5 T HE HIGHROAD: Moneyed elites get richer the old-fashioned way: Stealing 6 DANISH PLAN: Reports of the death of the oil industry are greatly exaggerated 7 LETTERS: Let there be peace; Pot comes at a price; TPP is the same mistake all over again; Our Christmas response? 27 BOULDER COUNTY EVENTS: What to do

and where to go 31 POETRY: by Wesley McNair 32 SCREEN: ‘The Hateful Eight’ is pointless, stupid garbage 33 FILM: Finding freedom in ‘Mustang’ 35 CUISINE REVIEW: Taj Mahal III in Louisville is a deserving community favorite 41 DRINK: Austrian reds: Difficult to pronounce, but easy to drink 47 ASTROLOGY: by Rob Brezsny 49 S AVAGE LOVE: Who comes first?; Presomes?; Stubby hair 51 WEED BETWEEN THE LINES: Risky Business, Part 1: Banking in the marijuana industry 53 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: New diet to start the year; Republicans angry because Obama wants to protect children and Christians Boulder Weekly

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EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Matt Cortina Associate Editor, Angela K. Evans Entertainment Editor, Amanda Moutinho Special Editions Editor, Caitlin Rockett Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Rob Brezsny, Chris Callaway, Michael J. Casey, Gavin Dahl, Paul Danish, James Dziezynski, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, Michael Krumholtz, Dylan Owens, Brian Palmer, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Greg Thorson, Christi Turner, Tom Winter, Tate Zandstra, Gary Zeidner Interns, Nicole McNulty, Grant Stringer SALES & MARKETING Retail Sales Manager, Allen Carmichael Senior Account Executive, David Hasson Account Executive, Julian Bourke Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Inside Sales Representative, Jason Myers Marketing Manager, Laura Wilder Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Production Manager, Dave Kirby Art Director, Susan France Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Assistant to the Publisher Julia Sallo Office Manager/Advertising Assistant Andrea Neville CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama 16-Year-Old, Mia Rose Sallo

January 7, 2015 Volume XXIII, Number 23 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holdsbarred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit www.boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Printed on 100% recycled paper with soy-based ink.

Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2015 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

the

Highroad Moneyed elites get richer the old-fashioned way: Stealing by Jim Hightower

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@ boulderweekly.com) or the comments section of our website at www.boulderweekly.com. Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

Boulder Weekly

G

et ready to swallow your “Statistic of the Day!” But first, to help you absorb the big one, here’s a preliminary statistic for you: 158,000. That’s the number of kindergarten teachers in America, and their combined income in 2013 was $8 billion. Now, here’s your Big Stat of the Day (even though it seems smaller): Four. That’s the number of America’s highest-paid

hedge fund operators whose combined income in 2013 was $10 billion. Yes, just four Wall Street greedmeisters hauled off $2 billion more in pay than was received by all of our kindergarten teachers. Now, which group do you think pays the lowest rate of income tax? Right... the uber-rich Wall Streeters! Incredibly, Congress (in its inscrutable wisdom) gives preferential tax treatment to the narcissistic money manipulators who do practically nothing for the common good. Even the flamboyant celebrity narcissist, Donnie Trump, sees through the gross inequality of this tax scam: “The hedge fund guys didn’t build this country,” The Donald recently barked. “These are guys that shift paper around and they get lucky. The hedge fund guys are getting away with murder.” Indeed, dodging through a loophole called “carried interest,” they pay about half the tax rate that kindergarten teachers are

For more information on Jim Hightower’s work — and to subscribe to his award-winning monthly newsletter, The Hightower Lowdown — visit www.jimhightower.com.

assessed. In effect, Wall Street’s puppets in Congress let this tiny group of moneyed elites steal about $18 billion a year that they owe to the public treasury to finance the structure and workings of America itself. The inequality that is presently ripping our society apart is not the result of some incomprehensible force of nature, but the direct result of collusion between financial and political elites to rig the system for the enrichment of the few — i.e., themselves — and the impoverishment of the many. There’s a word for those elites: Thieves. This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly. January 7, 2016 5


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year ago, a lot of greenwashed Luddites were wondering out loud about whether the global collapse of oil prices would accomplish what their hyper-ventilating activism and political theatre has failed to do — end drilling and fracking in Weld County. Dream on. Last month the two biggest players in Weld County’s Wattenberg Field — Noble Energy and Anadarko Petroleum — reported that their over-all crude oil production in 2015 was up, not down. And both pointed to productivity gains in their Colorado operations as a big part of the reason why — notwithstanding the fact that the price of crude oil has dropped to under $40 a barrel from over $100 a barrel in the last 18 months. In a Dec. 9 presentation to a Wells Fargo Energy Symposium, Noble Executive Vice-President and CFO Ken Fisher said that company-wide oil output increased from an average of about 300,000 barrels a day in 2014 to more than 400,000 barrels a day in 2015. Fisher said Noble’s 2016 over-all capital spending would be $1.6 to $1.7 billion, less than half what it was a couple years ago — and “the lion’s share” of that would be spent on its operations in

the Wattenberg field. The company has been spending a billion dollars or more a year on developing those leases since 2012. In other words, Noble is essentially doubling down on its Wattenberg investment at a time when it is cutting back on capital expenditures all over the world. The reason it can stay and grow is that its productivity gains in the Wattenberg Field are spectacular. For example, during 2014 the company operated an average of 10 drilling rigs on its holdings. During 2015 it operated an average of 3.5 — yet it was able to drill 70 percent of the “lateral feet” that it drilled in 2014 with 10 rigs. In short, Noble was using one-third as many rigs to drill two-thirds as many lateral feet of pay as it had a year earlier — essentially a 100 percent improvement in drilling productivity. A lateral is the portion of a well drilled horizontally in the “pay,” the layer of rock where the oil is. It’s in the lateral that the fracking takes place. Generally speaking, the longer the lateral of a well, the more productive a well will be. Noble didn’t drill as many wells in 2015 as it had in 2014, but the ones it did drill had longer laterals — 7,200 feet versus 5,200. Drilling longer laterals is just one of see DANISH PLAN Page 7

Boulder Weekly


danish plan

letters

Let there be peace

On Oct. 7, 2001, the United States began an attack on Afghanistan. It was billed as the “global war on terrorism.” Is this war being won? Not according to the Global Terrorism Index (GTI), which was devised by the Institute for Economics and Peace. The GTI is a measure of the extent of terrorism in 162 countries. The 2015 GTI shows a nine-fold increase in terrorist attacks since 2000. We should not be Boulder Weekly

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well casing through which the fracking fluid is driven into the rock) is also increasing. Using different types of fracking fluids and concentrations of sand used to prop open the millimetersized fractures can also increase the initial and ultimate production from a well. Noble hasn’t announced what sort of increases in oil production its latest Wattenberg wells have registered yet, but Fisher said technology developed in the Wattenberg was recently used on a Noble lease in Texas with spectacular results. Last month Noble reported the initial output of three wells drilled in the Eagle Ford Shale in Southwest Texas. The average 30-day initial output for each of the three was 4,885 barrels of oil equivalent per day (Boe/d), 6,050 Boe/d, and 6,300 Boe/d. A decade ago wells drilled in shale were considered successful if they had an initial output of a few hundred barrels a day. Productivity and output gains of this sort are usually associated with the semiconductor industry and Moore’s Law. They are almost unheard of in legacy industries like oil and gas. Some analysts have estimated that the most efficient U.S. producers can now break even with oil prices as low as $25 a barrel. In other words, Weld County oil patch isn’t going to shut down anytime soon. Learn to live with it. This opinion column does not reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.

B R I N G IN THE NE W Y E A R

Correction: In last week’s adventure story (Re:“Are our trails as happy as we think?,” December 31), the statement “If Ingvar Sodal was alive today, he might chuckle” appeared. Well, he’s chuckling for sure because Ingvar Sodal is very much alive. We apologize for any inconvienence and/or horror we may have caused by this error.

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the ways an oil company can increase productivity. Another is to use modern, highly automated drilling rigs, which among other things can handle 90-foot lengths of pipe at a time instead of the traditional 30-foot lengths, which slashes the time it takes to replace a drill bit or perform other down-hole tasks. Modern rigs can also be moved from drilling location to drilling location without being disassembled and reassembled, a process that can take several days. (Some are equipped with legs that can be raised, extended and lowered, allowing them to walk.) If the wells are clustered on pads, the rigs can be moved in a matter of hours. The savings these sorts of innovations can generate are shown by some numbers included in Anadarko Petroleum’s operations report for the third quarter of 2015. In 2012, when the shale boom was experiencing explosive growth, it took Anadarko an average of 13.5 days to drill a Wattenberg well, at a cost of $175 a foot. (Wells in the Wattenberg, including their laterals, can extend 15,000 feet or longer.) The comparable figures for the third quarter of this year were 4.7 days and $73 a foot. There have been major improvements in the fracking process as well as the drilling process. Laterals are usually fracked in stages. Originally these were 500-feet long. Today, each stage can be as short as 100 feet and the number of perforations in each stage (holes in the

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surprised. War on terrorism is a contradiction of terms. War is terrorism. The terror of war was felt on Oct. 3, 2015 in Kunduz, Afghanistan. A Doctors Without Borders (MSF) hospital was fired on by a U.S. AC-130 gunship for 30 minutes. Twelve staff members and at least 10 patients, including three children, were killed. Common Cause reported that: “In the Intensive Care Unit six patients were burning in their beds.” Prior to the air raid, the position of the hospital had been communicated to all sides involved in the conflict.To knowingly bomb a hospital is a war crime. Why is the United States still at war in Afghanistan? The bombing of the MSF hospital occurred 14 years, almost to the day, after the 2001 attacks by the United States. The children

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killed on Oct. 3 probably knew only war during their brief lives. They should remind us of the true cost of war: death and suffering of innocent civilians. There is a way of ensuring that this horror will not be repeated. It is the termination of military action. In the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Dr. Martin Luther King, “….there is no way to peace — peace is the way.” Kristen Marshall/Boulder Recently, a Boulder high tech firm working on solid-state energy innovations lost its industrial space to a commercial marijuana grow operation. The property owner was enticed to lease to a marijuana grow, understanding that his new tenant could easily afford higher rents. The technology company and its highly skilled and well-educated employees were displaced by bud trimmers. In an area long referred to as Silicon Mountain (now a trade name for a solid state memory firm), Boulder County has been home to an amazing assortment of high tech companies. People from around the country relocated here to enjoy the benefits of life at the foot of the Rockies while inventing and innovating new technologies. All good things may now come to an end, or perhaps it is simply time to move on. Our future has gone to pot. Longmont is next on the list, while our City Council ponders potential income from weed. While it is possible that Longmont may have a need for pot shops to increase its sales tax coffers in retail marijuana locations, the product has to be grown somewhere. The Council is giving consideration to having commercial grows within our city. Presently, commercial and particularly industrial space is limited and leasing at premium prices. There is simply not enough space for industry to find a home or expand. One example has been Digital Globe, which moved its headquarters to Westminster when it could not find suitable expansion space here. If our City Council opens up the marijuana grow market, permitting it in our commercial property sector, we should understand by the examples given, that property owners may well adopt the Green Dream. A loss to technology innovation and highly skilled jobs. Semiconductor engineers who want to remain in Longmont may need

to retrain to be bud trimmers. Paul Tiger, Luddite/Longmont

TPP is the same mistake all over again

The Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) will make it easier for businesses that are based here to move production offshore. That will mean fewer jobs for U.S. workers, and our already monstrous trade deficit will expand even more. Trade deficit is the amount of money that we spend for goods overseas minus the amount that countries send to us for purchases of American goods. Our trade performance worsened as a result of past trade deals. With Bill Clinton’s North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), jobs rushed offshore to Mexican maquiladoras that paid workers about $1.20/hour. Now in America, we have no electronics manufacturing, no clothing manufacturing and no shoe manufacturing. The U.S.-Korea Trade agreement (KORUS) took effect in 2012. President Obama said that this deal would increase U.S. goods exports by at least $10 billion and support 70,000 U.S. jobs due to the increased exports. It didn’t work that way; there was a decline in exports of 7.5 percent and imports from Korea increased by $5.6 billion. We lost about 60,000 well-paid manufacturing jobs. Bernie Sanders has stood in opposition to almost all free trade bills as job killers. Sanders stands against TPP as well. According to CNN, Hillary Clinton has stated publicly how much she supports TPP 45 times. But now she has changed her mind. According to the Federal Register, the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative announced on Dec. 28 that it “is seeking public comments on the impact of the TPP Agreement on U.S. employment, including labor markets.” Comment period ends Jan. 13, 2016. It is critical that as many people as possible write to them about this. Send comments to Senators and Rep. Polis. (Bennet.senate.gov and Polis.house.gov) Tom Moore/Boulder

Our Christmas Response?

Christmas is the story of a Middle East family seeking refuge and being repeatedly turned away. Sound familiar currently? How will we respond? Let’s open our hearts and welcome them with open arms. Shari Malloy/Longmont Boulder Weekly


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East Coast meets West Coast in this celebration of Americana. First, William Schuman channels colonial-era themes in the haunting New England Triptych, and Leonard Bernstein embraces the cultural melting pot of New York City in his Symphonic Dances from West Side Story. After intermission, we hear Aaron Copland’s take on the legendary outlaw Billy the Kid, and we see his evocation of life in the rural West as Boulder Ballet brings us original choreography for his iconic ballet, Rodeo. Boulder Weekly


news

IN

a state known for its big game and wide open spaces there’s one thing that’s been conspicuously missing from Colorado’s landscape for more than 70 years: wolves. The conversation around what the state should be doing about this once ubiquitous predator has become intense, with conservation groups saying the state’s long-held stance against reintroducing gray wolves (or introducing subspecies for the first time, particularly the Mexican gray wolf, as some state officials believe would be the case) is influenced more by politics than by science — a charge government officials vehemently deny. Wolf proponents say the Colorado Parks and Wildlife (CPW) Commission, a citizen board appointed by the governor and charged with setting regulations and policies for the state’s wildlife programs, is filled too heavily by people whose day jobs (or former day jobs) include ranching, big game hunting outfitters and energy extraction — industries that could stand to lose money if federally protected wolves thin out big game, kill cattle or prevent oil and gas extraction on public lands that serve as their natural habitat. While the State has remained opposed to introduction/reintroduction of wolves, public outcry hasn’t gone totally unheard. On Jan. 13, Colorado residents will have a second chance to voice opinions on wolves in the state at a CPW Commission meeting in Denver, where a revised resolution on wolves will be discussed. • • • • Gray wolves (and subsequent subspecies) once roamed the entire expanse of the Centennial State feeding on big game — bison, elk, deer — keeping these large animals from overgrazing vegetation around stream banks and rivers. But a growing human

gray wolves as endangered on the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (USFWS) endangered species list. But since gray wolf populations have increased in numbers in the Northern Rockies and Western Great Lakes states, the USFWS has been trying to remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list, a move that some feel will threaten still fragile and growing populations in other parts of the country. “The Fish and Wildlife Service, since 2003, has been seeking to remove gray wolves from the endangered species list, and every single time that they have finalized a rule that either downlists with the intent of delisting, or delisted it, they were rebuffed by federal courts who pointed out it was illegal,” says Michael Robinson, a conservation advocate with the Center for Biological Diversity. The most recent proposal to delist the gray wolf came in 2013, and while the proposal still stands, no final ruling has been made, now almost three years later. So gray wolves retain their federal protection under the Fish and Wildlife Service, yet Colorado, despite its hospitable terrain and rich history with the animal, has failed to develop an established wolf population — and stories of the few wolves that have wandered into the state in the past decade have lessthan-happy endings. In June 2004, a car fatally hit a female wolf on Interstate 70 near Idaho Springs. On April 6, 2009, researchers with the USFWS received a mortality signal from a radio-collared female gray wolf from the Yellowstone area — she was found near Rio Blanco County Road 60, poisoned by a banned pesticide known as Compound 1080. Most recently a coyote hunter shot a male gray wolf on April 29, 2015 near Kremmling, Colorado.

A TURNING POINT

Boulder Weekly

WILL IT BE WOLVES OR WELLS? by Caitlin Rockett presence in the state and, perhaps most importantly, a lucrative livestock industry changed all that. In 1869, the then Territory of Colorado implemented a wolf bounty just as Wisconsin, Iowa and Ohio had done before. In fact, the colonies of Massachusetts, Virginia and New Jersey all had some form of wolf bounty in the 1600s and wolf fear and disdain was well ingrained in the American culture by 1869. In less than 100 years, the last known wild wolf in Colorado was killed in 1945 as part of an aggressive and extensive government-backed eradication program. Indeed, gray wolves across the nation were almost completely wiped out by 1950. But conservation movements have brought the gray wolf back from the brink of extinction, most notably in the Northern Rockies of Wyoming, Idaho and Montana, and the Western Great Lakes states of Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin through listing

See WOLVES Page 12

January 7, 2016 11


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12 January 7, 2016

Robinson says he’s “not sure it’s realistic” that gray wolves will be able to naturally reestablish themselves in Colorado with a mortality rate like this — but natural reestablishment is the only position the state government has ever taken on gray wolves. “It’s going to be a function, in my view, of the growth or lack of growth of the Wyoming [wolf ] population,” Robinson says, “That’s going to have a huge influence on the number of wolves that show up in Colorado.” Robinson adds that even a robust wolf population in Wyoming can’t make up for the high mortality rate wolves face in Colorado. “[The death of ] 75 percent of the wolves we know of in Colorado in the last ten or 12 years or so is probably too high for a population to reestablish itself. So the best way to do it would be reintroduction,” he says. But the State has strongly opposed the intentional reintroduction of gray wolves for decades. The CPW Commission’s most recent proposed resolution on wolves in Colorado elicited what some might call scathing criticism from conservationists, biologists and citizens alike after a Nov. 20 meeting in Wray, Colorado. “Now therefore let it be resolved,” the Commission wrote, “that the Colorado Parks and Wildlife Commission affirms its support of the Wolf Working Group’s recommendations adopted by the Wildlife Commission in May 2005 and hereby opposes any introduction of Mexican or intentional reintroduction of gray wolves in the State of Colorado.” Gary Wockner, a member of the 14-person Colorado Wolf Working Group and former wildlife ecologist who specialized in wolf management, calls the Commission’s resolution a “sneaky ... 100 percent violation of the agreement of the Colorado Wolf Working Group.” “Our year-long process that included a multi-stakeholder approach and lots of public input never once agreed to any such resolution,” Wockner wrote in a press release on Nov. 19. “Further, the Chairman of the Commission right now, Robert Bray, sat with me for that whole year, and for him to push this resolution forward in his now-powerful position is a violation of the trust of the Wolf Working Group. Even worse, for [Bray] to write on this resolution that it supports the ‘Wolf Working Group’s recommendations’ is false and intentionally misleading.”

It was “feedback” such as this and discussions at the last Commission meeting that CPW spokesperson Matt Robbins says prompted changes to the Commissions resolution, namely the addition of two alternative options that are more open to wolf introduction/ reintroduction in Colorado. This “whole conversation” about wolves in Colorado, says Robbins, “has been brought to the forefront because of the simple fact that it is on the [U.S.] Fish and Wildlife Service’s agenda to renew its efforts to create a recovery plan for the Mexican gray wolf.” Both alternative resolutions again “affirm” the CPW Commission’s “support of the Wolf Working Group’s recommendations adopted by the Wildlife Commission in May 2005,” but instead of opposing any introduction or reintroduction of wolves, they make some room for compromise. The first alternative option, “recommends that Mexican wolf recovery efforts be confined to the subspecies’ historic range, and emphasizes the importance of bi-national recovery planning with Mexico.” The second option, “opposes the intentional release of any wolves into Colorado, recommends that Mexican wolf recovery efforts be confined to the subspecies’ historic range, and emphasizes the importance of bi-national recovery planning with Mexico.” Wockner says the revised resolution still has “dramatic problems,” as it still opposes wolf reintroduction and “insinuates that wolves may migrate into Colorado when no scientists believe that is likely to occur. “That resolution is just ridiculous, talking about we need to have a binational agreement with Mexico,” Wockner says. “So [the CPW commissioners] are trying to kick the ball down to Mexico and Mexico doesn’t have to pay a damn bit of attention to what the United States does with endangered species — and they don’t. They don’t do it with wolves and they don’t do it with the jaguar.” Wockner says the Commission’s recommendations are aimed solely at benefiting Colorado’s ranching and energy extraction industries. “It’s not about the Mexican wolf, it’s not about the gray wolf,” Wockner says, “You just have the Commission, appointed by [Gov. John] Hickenlooper, with a majority of which, point blank, loud and clear, are ranchers and energy extraction people, who are saying the public land of Colorado ... is for cows

and sheep and oil ... instead of for all the wildlife that naturally lived on the landscape and that all the people want to see live up there. So this is just a big shot across the bough for the ranching and oil industries trying to keep their subsidies.” Chris Castilian, current chairman of the CPW Commission, is the manager of Government and Community Relations for Anadarko Petroleum Corporation. The Commission’s vice chair, Jeanne Horne, is the owner and manager of J Bar H Outfitters, a family-owned big game and fishing outfitting business out of Meeker, Colorado. Representative Robert Bray, the former chairman of the Commission who Wockner openly condemned after the first resolution in November, is a director of CoBank, a national cooperative bank that provides financial services to agribusiness and rural power and water providers. Others in the Commission have similar backgrounds. On Nov. 13, Gov. Hickenlooper joined the three other governors of the Four Corners states — Arizona, Utah and New Mexico — in signing a letter to USFWS director Dan Ashe expressing they are “seriously troubled” by the selection of “non-neutral” scientists determined to give the Mexican wolf territory north of Interstate 40. This would put the wolves in Southern Colorado. Much like wolf proponents, the Four Corners Governors claim that decisions are being driven “as much or more by personal agenda than by science.” “Given that 90 percent of the subspecies’ historical range is in Mexico, any serious recovery planning effort must headline a Mexico-centric approach rather than the translocation of the subspecies out of its historical range into new, previously uninhabited ranges of northern Arizona / New Mexico and southern Utah / Colorado,” the letter states. Robinson of the Center for Biological Diversity says that science does in fact dictate that the Mexican wolf not only historically called Southern Colorado home, but that the subspecies needs the extra territory to overcome the possibility of extinction. He cites a 2012 paper by Carlos Carroll, Richard J. Fredrickson and Robert C. Lacy “What scientists have identified as necessary for the Mexican wolf ’s future — particular given the genetic bottleBoulder Weekly


news neck it went through where it was reduced to just seven animals that were bred together in captivity — they need at least 750 animals in total in three populations that would be linked together ... to enhance the remaining genetic diversity in the species. “Where in the modern world is there room for that many wolves?” Robinson adds. “And the answer is in part Southern Colorado where wolves, whether they were Mexican wolves or closely related wolves, filled the ecological role that Mexican wolves can now fill.” Robinson says the CPW Commission’s current resolution on wolf introduction/reintroduction, even with its revised alternatives, is a reflection of decades of catering to Colorado’s livestock industry. “Your Parks and Wildlife Commission has an absolutely... I’m not sure how to characterize this, but an embarrassing resolution that was written in 1982 that seems to be the basis of their thinking now,” he says. “I say embarrassing because [the 1982 resolution] said, ‘The Colorado Parks and Wildlife Commission hereby opposes any person or entity that may now or in the future suggests or proposes reintroduction of wolves or grizzly bears.’ “The language was an affront to the First Amendment for a government board to oppose a proposal or suggestion,” Robinson says. “Beyond that, it reflected the political dominance of the livestock industry for which the original job of wolf extermination was carried out, but by federal authorities 100 years ago and 90 years ago.” CPW spokesperson Matt Robbins says he doesn’t believe politics outweigh science in the Commissions’ recommendations. “I believe the resolution doesn’t pass judgment on the value of wolves as a featured member of our state’s fauna,” he says, adding, “I also believe the purpose of the resolution is encouraging the federal government to focus Mexican wolf recovery efforts within its historical range.” He says it’s the Commission’s hope that the USFWS does remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list, much like its decision late last year not to list the sage-grouse — another animal that many in the state believe was forsaken at the hands of the oil and gas industry. “We’ve gone through a long cycle, and I think your readers are familiar with some of the efforts and all of the work that was being done with the sage-grouse and all the work that was being done and the role our governor played and the role the other governors in the other 11 states played,” Robbins Boulder Weekly

says. “We were very appreciative of the decision of Secretary [of the Interior Sally] Jewell and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to not in fact list [the sage-grouse] but rather rely on the local states to continue to manage and partner with local jurisdictions and ranchers to help manage those. We simply want the same from this.” As for any comment on whether politics play a larger deciding factor in the fate of wolves than does science, Robbins says, “I think any other discussions or

leading statements that think that it’s more than that, I can’t comment on.” He adds that he thinks it’s important for people to remember that there doesn’t have to be any solution from this particular meeting or this updated resolution. “There’s no necessary outcome that will or will not come back from this other than we will provide an overview and an update on what we know on the wolf,” Robbins says. Robinson says the future of wolves

in Colorado is uncertain, but he harkens back to the sentiments of Wockner and other wolf advocates. “It’s going to be a real test whether he’s (Gov. Hickenlooper) listening to the 99 percent of Colorado residents who are not livestock owners and the majority of who, as polls have shown, understand the important role that wolves will play in Colorado’s ecosystem,” he says. “So, I don’t have a crystal ball, but I think it’s a real turning point one way or another.”

January 7, 2016 13


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Boulder Weekly


boulderganic Mollie Putzig

E

236 solar panels cap the roof of eTown Hall in downtown Boulder.

nvironmental news is notorious for doomsday messages from climate change, to drought, to mass extinctions, but one Boulder-based radio show has been delivering positive social messages for nearly 25

years. On eTown, Nick and Helen Forster, founders of the nonprofit, blend music with environmental messages on a show that’s broadcast on more than 300 stations around the world. “There was a lot of apathy in 1991 and it wasn’t because people are bad or lazy or greedy, people are just people, and people were feeling overwhelmed by what was going on around them and disempowered to do anything,” Helen says. “We wanted to have a show where you could feel safe to come in and listen and hear about these things that at the time weren’t being featured in mainstream media.” They have hosted artists like James Taylor and Ben Harper along with environmentalists from Al Gore to Jane Goodall. But eTown has a special place for their eChievement award winners — your friendly neighborhood do-gooders who protect the environment, help the homeless, feed the hungry or generally make the world a better place. “Ultimately, the eChievement is where we get the most impact,” says Abby Wolff, eTown’s director of marketing. “Helen has some really beautiful stories of people who went from a $100,000 budget to a $600,000 annual budget right after the show because people get exposed to those projects, and it really touches a lot of lives. “They have these great stories, these tear-jerking, adorable stories, and they only get so much time that we can interview them on the stage,” Wolff continues. “We’d like to do more of a behind-the-scenes, following them through their operations ... making them their own little videos because that can help promote their cause even better.” And now that they’re settled into their new home at 1535 Spruce St. in Boulder, eTown is delving into new opportunities such as making educational videos, webinars, podcasts and perchance, a “solo for solar” series shot on the building’s rooftop. In 2012, the Forsters converted a 1920s church into eTown Hall, a home for the radio show and a gathering

Music on a mission

A quarter century of music and environmental hope at eTown by Mollie Putzig place for the community. And they did it in the most Boulder way possible by embracing recycling, composting, renewables and by treating the church like an older sibling, “wearing” all its hand-me-downs whenever possible. Under the high-ceilings capped with 236 solar panels, light streams through stained glass windows onto rows of wooden pews in front of the stage. Flecks of a three-point line decorate the office floor, relics from the basketball court in the church’s old gym that now serves as eTown’s office and stage. “There’s a thousand of those details throughout the entire building,” says John “Digger” Peláez, eTown’s director of operations. “I could go on for days about all the different things that are reused and repurposed. ...

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It would have been so easy to scrape this place and do it for two million bucks instead of doing it right and keeping it cool and spending eight million bucks.” Digger works with Partners for a Clean Environment (PACE), a program helping Boulder County businesses become more sustainable. eTown Hall earned an energy certification from PACE in 2015. PACE’s Zero Waste certification requires a business to divert 70 percent of waste out of the trash. In the summer of 2015, eTown completed a two-week waste audit, measuring trash output against recycling and compost. eTown received PACE certification for waste See eTOWN Page 16

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eTown from Page 15

diversion by keeping almost 10,000 pounds of waste out of landfills over the course of the year. That’s an equivalent of saving over 1,000 gallons of gasoline. “We have a giant compost bin and then these teeny garbage cans that barely ever get used,” Wolff says. “If they are [used,] it’s because somebody brought trash in from somewhere else.” To get the energy certification, buildings typically need a score of 75 out of 100 from EnergyStar Portfolio Manager, which measures building energy performance as compared with similar buildings throughout the nation. Because performance halls are so diverse, EnergyStar doesn’t have a solid baseline of similar buildings to compare eTown to, so PACE resorted to their old method of certification based on the organization’s 22 years of experience. “When we set up our certification, recognizing that we were going to get a significant number of businesses that we couldn’t get a portfolio manager score for, we said, ‘OK, if they’re not eligible to receive a portfolio manager score, then what we’ll do is go through a checklist

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Boulder Weekly


ADVENTURE

Corey Rich/2016 National Geographic Adventurer of the Year photo

The exposure and position of this climb were part of what attracted Caldwell to it. “Surprisingly, I never saw the climb as dangerous,” Caldwell recalls of freeclimbing — using ropes just to protect in the event of a fall — the 3,000-foot granite wall. “For me it was the perfect combination of adventure, but with the boundaries of safety that I am willing to accept as a father.” (http://tiny.cc/ z2vx7x)

Locals in the running for National Geographic’s Adventurers of the Year

Caldwell compares Meltzer came out to support Jurek once he heard that what Boulder means to Jurek had fallen behind record pace. Meltzer took climbing to what New over logistics and started making pace plans several York is to dancers. He days out. admittedly notes that “I remember a day when he had gone 42 miles and the Front Range it was starting to get dark, and I had to tell him to go doesn’t have the best 16 more. And I know that’s hard to hear. That’s like actual rock climbing. five hours,” Meltzer says. “I told him, this is the shit Rather he attributes that’s going to get you the record.” Boulder’s prevalence in According to Meltzer, who unsuccessfully the sport to its extenattempted the record himself two previous times, sive indoor scene and Jurek ran a 2.27 mph pace toward the end of his jourmotivated community. ney, which is slow by Jurek’s standards. At that speed Both Caldwell and though, there can be more mental challenges because Jurek say they are honored to be included in such a it doesn’t feel like your going anywhere. group as National Geographic’s Adventurers of the “There were problems along the way, but he never Year. gave up when he fell behind or had some really rough “I’ve always been inspired by Adventurers of the patches where he wasn’t feeling well,” says Bart Yasso, Year, even those that are not in my own sport,” Jurek editor of Runner’s World. “That impresses me the says. “I feel like that outdoor mentality and that inspi- most, when he stuck to it, and refused to give in.” Fred Marmsater/2016 National Geographic Adventurer of the Year photo ration can go for all Forty-Six days different levels. You sounds like a pretty don’t have to be some long time to be hard core athlete, you invested in an advencan just be that perture journey, but rock son who goes out to climber Caldwell put do what you want in seven years of outdoors.” exploring and mapJurek ran, on ping out El Capitan’s average, 50 miles a Dawn Wall in day south to north on Yosemite National the Appalachian Park. Declared “the Scott Jurek running in the San Juan Trail, completing his hardest climb of all Mountains. Grant Swamp Pass, CO. record-breaking run time” by Rock and Ice, (http://tiny.cc/z2vx7x) Caldwell successfully in just over 46 days summited after a while battling a quad 19-day push this last injury and logistical January. He fervently states that it was a group tripace issues. “My take away from this — the Appalachian Trail umph, not an individual achievement. “Our whole community was rallied around us. My had been on my list, so never let those dreams stay parents came out, Chris Sharma, Alex (Honnold), one idle for too long. Go after and chase them,” Jurek says. see ADVENTURERS Page 20 Fellow ultrarunner, longtime rival and friend Karl

Tommy Caldwell and Scott Jurek reflect on their accomplishments and community by Mallane Dressel

T

he old saying, “there must be something in the water,” seems oddly true considering five of the 2016 National Geographic Adventurers of the Year honorees happen to be Coloradans. This is National Geographic’s 11th year of selecting this honorary group in which they search across the world for “individuals that personify the adventurous spirit in unique ways,” according to National Geographic’s Adventure editorial director Mary Anne Potts in a press release The American ski mountaineer trio, Chris Davenport, Christy Mahon and Ted Mahon, all from Aspen, Colorado, made the list by successfully climbing and skiing Colorado’s 100 highest peaks. Boulder’s own Scott Jurek made the honorary list by breaking the Appalachian Trail speed record in July. Tommy Caldwell, a Colorado native who calls Estes Park home, became the first to be selected for National Geographic’s honor two times in a row, last year for his Fitz Traverse accomplishment with Alex Honnold in Argentina, and this year, for completing his sevenyear Dawn Wall climbing project with Kevin Jorgeson. It comes as no surprise to Scott Jurek that so many Adventurers of the Year come from Colorado. “The beauty of a place like Boulder or the Front Range in Colorado here, is that it encourages people to explore there own dreams and go after their own adventures,” he says. Boulder Weekly

January 7 , 2016 19


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of my best friends, my wife came up on the wall for 10 straight days one time and belayed me,” Caldwell says. “All these people were both curious and inspired by the project, and wanted to come be apart of it. That was really the thing that kept me going for all those years. I felt like I owed it to them.” Jorgeson partnered with Caldwell after he saw the movie Progression, which shows several segments of Caldwell working his Dawn Wall project, in 2008. After many years involved in the highball bouldering scene, Jorgeson was ready for a new challenge in a completely different discipline of climbing and, from the movie, it looked like Caldwell needed a partner. The skin on Jorgeson fingers became the crux of the Dawn Wall climb for him, causing a four-day delay until he finally finished the difficult sequence to complete the 15th pitch. “The hardest part is moving through that self doubt into a place of genuine confidence,” says Jorgeson. “Tommy helped by staying super light hearted, positive and optimistic. Without his attitude and support, there’s no way I could have finished pitch 15. After all, one of the biggest sources of pressure was my feeling of holding Tommy back.” Runner Jurek also was surrounded by a community of supporters who contributed to his success. His wife, Jenny Jurek, provided vegan meals, as did 25 to 30 supporters who also ran the trail with him sometimes. Plus, he stayed connected to the public through Instagram, Twitter and even conveyed his position with a GPS tracker. “They don’t look at him like he is crazy, but years ago they would have,” Yasso says, reflecting on how media coverage has changed the perspective of ultrarunning. “They absolutely respect what he does, but they may never do it. Since it was instantaneous, it really made it more interesting.” Likewise, the Dawn Wall media coverage was an anomaly that broadened the public’s experience of adventure sports, according to Caldwell. It was the first time people could watch a climb as if they were tuning into a football game. Caldwell, being a bit of a purist, reflects about the constant connection while on the wall. “I did drop my phone on accident, but it was a blessing in disguise absolutely,” Caldwell says. “You know I’ve always had this funny thing about it, all during the Dawn Wall trying to show everything, it felt a little weird for me. But on the other hand, the fact that we

were able to keep contact from on the wall was what got so many people excited about our climb, our project.” Although the media coverage got plenty of people interested in the climb, Caldwell feels like the media definitely got it wrong several times, especially in the States. He particularly dislikes how they dramatized the whole experience, and made himself and Jorgeson out as adrenaline junkies and thrill seekers. “When we’re up there, it’s very calculated, and we manage the risks. But the truth of the matter is that there are risks, just like anything that you do,” Caldwell says. “I think there are more resources now than there ever were in the past for being able to go out to the rock educated.” Like Caldwell, Jurek has become an ambassador of his sport. He lives by and supports his motto that anyone can run. He recommends the Sunshine Canyon above Boulder to those interested in starting to run because it’s quiet and gradual. He enjoys the Sunshine Canyon himself because of its accessibility to downtown, so that he can indulge in the diverse vegan foods of Boulder’s Farmer’s Market after his runs. You’ll even see him drop in on some shop runs, such as the one that the Flatiron Running Inc. puts on. “One of the biggest things is holding you accountable, and making it a little more fun. Once you’re out there, I think there are just so many resources, running with others, meeting up, you can ask questions, get information about events, or training,” Jurek says about Boulder’s running groups. “Having that network I think is really key in making a fitness program something that you’re more consistent with.” Caldwell on the other hand wants to step out of the spotlight for a bit, although, he is keeping an eye out for more adventure climbing projects to possibly take on in the future. He hopes to give his son, Fitz Caldwell, the tools to prepare him for an adventurous life, and to have him see the wealth of endless possibilities if he doesn’t walk through life in fear. He looks forward to spending time with his family outside, developing Fitz’s ski skills by taking advantage of Rocky Mountain National Park and Eldora Mountain Resort this season. “I think the outdoor life is an incredibly healthy way to live, and Colorado has got more opportunity for that than anywhere,” Caldwell says. “The mountains just provide a lot of ways to go out and play. People should take advantage of that.” Boulder Weekly


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buzz I SEE YOU, 2016 A MONTH-BY-MONTH MOVIE GUIDE
 by Ryan Syrek

OH

man, 2016 has gotta feel so nervous, knowing its elder sibling, 2015, was so flinging-flanging good. Father Time has to be like, “No, it’s totally OK if you want to go into ophthalmology, 2016. Not everyone can be a brain surgeon like 2015.” I mean, 2015 resurrected Star Wars, introduced Imperator Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road) and had so many slightly more minor triumphs, 2016 is probably already working on a drinking problem. All you can do is take it “one day at a time,” 2016. Or, in the case of this preview, one month at a time, as we’re going to take a look at the best offering for each month of the next year. JANUARY January is typically slim pickings for good movie content, unless you count the spillover from 2015 that didn’t get a wide release yet. It’s like 2016 is trying to whip up a home-cooked meal, but we’re all still pigging out on 2015’s leftovers. That said, Jane Got a Gun looks to have a wee bit of promise. I mean, Natalie Portman in a Western is always going to put my butt in a seat. A woman asks her ex to help protect her current outlaw hubs from a deadly gang. Pew, pew, pew! I’ll ride off into the sunset for Ms. Portman any time.

FEBRUARY The Big Lebowski is still the funniest movie I’ve ever seen. And that’s despite how many times people have tried to ruin it with unfunny merchandise, endless quotes and misquotes 22 January 7, 2016

and various themed parties. Thus, when the Coen brothers announce a new comedy, it fills me with great excitement. That Hail, Caesar! also stars George Clooney and Channing Tatum and has a silly, breezy, early-days-of-Hollywood feel only adds to my excitement level. I’m so titillated, my shirt looks like Clooney’s bat costume.

MARCH Speaking of bat costumes, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is apparently going to come out with that title getting changed. This naked cash grab has looked interesting, then silly, then interestingly silly and promises to be either a good movie or a total train wreck, either of which is satisfying. Jesse Eisenberg appears to think he’s in Adam West’s 1960s Batman TV show, Ben Affleck is grayed and grumpy and apparently there’s a weird Gollum creature. Everyone will see this for good reasons or bad. Boulder Weekly


buzz

APRIL

SEPTEMBER

Quietly, Jake Gyllenhaal has become one of the best working actors. Demolition looks to be another notch on his “who you callin’ Bubble Boy” bedpost of success. An introspective look at a man experiencing tragedy, nothing about the subject matter really suggests anything special. But neither did the logline for Nightcrawler, and that movie showed Jake G. is hella great. Just know, JG, if you get the Oscar before Leo, I’d watch yourself.

I gotta thing for Westerns. And one of the best (if not the best) is The Magnificent Seven. Considering the original is a remake of Seven Samurai, nobody is allowed to be mad they’re remaking the remake. Co-written by True Detective scribe Nic Pizzolatto and starring Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington and Vincent D’Onofrio, I don’t see how this can be anything other than rootin’ tootin’ fantastic. The original was super violent. I can’t see why this one wouldn’t be as well. I mention that last part as a good thing but now realize that maybe it sounded like a bad thing.

MAY I want all comic book movies to be great fun all the time. I have full faith that Captain America: Civil War will be. Featuring everyone who has ever worn spandex in a Marvel movie and lived to tell the tale, this brouhaha not only pits Cap against Iron Man, it introduces Black Panther and, oh yeah, reboots Spider-man. Honestly, some days I just want to build a time machine, go back to the lunchroom in middle school, and show preteen Ryan how cool things turn out.

JUNE Shane Black is a golden god. His dialogue is so hot, actors get third-degree burns on their tongues from it. Heaven, to me, is a new Black noir film every day. The Nice Guys gives Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe as playthings for Black to use. The first red-band trailer featured a hilarious scene involving a body splattering on concrete and Gosling on the toilet. So, yeah, I feel comfortable telling you this is going to be perfect.

JULY The best part of the internet is that everyone using it is smart, kind and responsible. Much like when NBC ran The Wiz and dumb racists took to Twitter to suggest “Everyone would be pissed about an allwhite version of The Wizard of Oz,” dumb sexists freaked when director Paul Feig announced the Ghostbusters reboot would be ladies only. Those women are Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig. They are all hilarious. They are all bad-ass. I am all the way in for this one.

AUGUST I get labeled a “DC hater” a lot. Because, if you didn’t know, there are still ongoing nerd gang wars between Marvel and DC comic fans. Nobody gets hurt, unless you count feelings. That said, I’m stupid excited for Suicide Squad, which brings back the Joker ( Jared Leto), gives Margot Robbie the spotlight she deserves and looks Bat(man)shit insane. There’s a crocodile gangster man in a squad with a witch and Will Smith. Yes please, thank you. I would like to be watching this bonkers-ness now. Boulder Weekly

OCTOBER The first Jack Reacher movie deserved better. It was a great Tom Cruise-as-movie-star movie and had living legend Werner Herzog as a villain who ate his own hand off. Sadly, there’s no Herzog up in Jack Reacher: Never Go Back. Still, a chance to watch Cruise revisit this noir-esque world makes me happy. Also, it’s going to really make your dad and/or grandpa happy, as literally all dads and grandpas love the book series.

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NOVEMBER Of all the Marvel movies, Doctor Strange has the most potential to me. All the superhero movies try to be “grounded” and “real.” Here’s a movie about a surgeon who learns magic to fight demons that come through other dimensions. That said, the wizard is played by Benedict Cumberbatch, which is only delicious icing on a potentially hallucinatory cake. Oh, and Rachel McAdams is in it. She makes everything 45 percent better just by being generally in the area.

DECEMBER Now that Star Wars is actually, totally, really, honestly back, all eyes can turn to Star Wars: Rogue One, the first spin-off in the franchise’s history. Theoretically, they’re going to make a Star Wars movie every year. I say theoretically, because if Rogue One rips a fart, that plan will change dramatically. Luckily, this movie is an intergalactic heist movie about stealing the plans for the Death Star, which sounds so unspeakably cool, I’m drooling. As are the Disney accountants.

SOMETIME IN 2016 Not being scheduled won’t stop me from hyping The Neon Demon, which is the latest from writer/director Nicolas Winding Refn. What he lacks in proper name spelling, he more than makes up for in style. As one of the two or three people who loved the crap out of Only God Forgives, the potential of Refn pairing up with Keanu Reeves for a quasi-horror movie about “beauty-obsessed women” is more alluring than can be described. I tried to, but it came out as a series of increasingly weird, dark adjectives, which is actually pretty much what watching a Refn movie feels like. This story previously ran in The Reader of Omaha, Nebraska.

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overtones Grammy nominees take the stage

ON THE BILL: Takács String Quartet with Margaret McDonald. 4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 10, and 7:30 p.m. Monday, Jan. 11. Grusin Music Hall, Imig Music Building, 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-8008. Seating is limited. Call for ticket availability.

Takács Quartet explores new repertoire by Peter Alexander

T

he Takács Quartet has such a long and distinguished history, has performed and recorded so much music, that it is surprising to learn there is major repertoire that has not appeared on their programs. In fact, their list of unplayed works will shrink by two at their performances Sunday and Monday in Grusin Music Hall. And unsurprisingly, neither is for string quartet alone: The Takács and pianist Margaret McDonald will perform Edward Elgar’s Quintet for

nomination and will be their second award if they win. The Grammy Awards will be presented Feb. 15. “We’re always trying to combine music that’s very much our standard repertoire with newer things,” Dusinberre says. “It’s fun with (Elgar and Janácek), since they’re written at a similar time around the First World War, and the musical language couldn’t be more different.” The earlier work, the Janácek Sonata, was written in 1914, at a time of great tension just before the war broke out in Central Europe, near Courtesy of the University of Colorado where the Czech composer was living. In contrast, the Elgar Quintet was written in 1918, as the war was nearly over, in a relatively safe corner of England. It would be tempting to see those differences reflected in the music each composer wrote: Janácek’s unstable and edgy, Elgar’s comfortably Victorian and nostalgic. But Dusinberre thinks that would be too easy an explanation. “You can say the composers are influenced by the world events — how could they not be?” he says. “But their musical identities formed well before the First World War, so (their musical styles were) as much a feature of their individual temperaGrammy Award-winning Takács Quartet will play with pianist Margaret McDonald and violinist Edward Dusinberre in Boulder. ments as of world events. “Elgar has a 19th-century aespiano and string quartet; and McDonald and first vio- thetic, which by this time has a lot of nostalgia linist Edward Dusinberre will present Leoš Janácek’s attached to it. But I think the best Elgar performances Sonata for violin and piano. shouldn’t be too comfortable. A lot of this piece is Completing the program will be Beethoven’s very meditative and melancholy. One of the interests String Quartet in D major, op. 18 no. 3. (of the Quintet) is that it’s not quite comfortable with This will be the first concert by the Takács follow- itself, and I think any performance needs to bring ing the announcement in December that their album those elements out.” with pianist Marc-Andre Hamelin of Shostakovich’s In contrast, Janácek was a highly individual comPiano Quintet and String Quartet No. 2 has been poser whose music never sounds like anyone else’s. nominated for a Grammy Award. It is their fifth This gives his works a unique and sometimes unset-

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tling quality that can’t be tied to any specific events. “One of the things I find unique in Janácek is the fragmentary nature of the way the moods change,” Dusinberre says. “There’s a great sense of instability. And yet there are passages that are very nostalgic and seem to be dreaming of a more innocent place.” McDonald definitely feels the contrast between the two composers when practicing. “I could just sit there and play the Elgar all day because of the lush, beautiful sound that’s surrounding me,” she says. In contrast, Janácek is a greater challenge. “The interaction of the instruments is very difficult in that piece, and the technical challenges are much more difficult,” she says. “There’s a lot of just nitty gritty getting down and figuring [it] out.” Difficult or not, it’s a piece that both McDonald and Dusinberre have wanted to perform for some time. “Ed and I have talked about playing this piece together for a few years, and we promised we wouldn’t play it with anyone else until we played it together. We just haven’t been able to, and then he said, ‘How about January?’” McDonald relishes the opportunity to play with the Takács Quartet. “It’s somewhat intimidating, but it’s also exciting at the same time,” she says. “It’s interesting, because you’re joining into a group that has been so established and know the way they work, but it’s fun. I’m really excited about it.” As for the Beethoven quartet on the program, it does not conform to the stereotype of the stormy Beethoven, but Dusinberre does not want to deceive the audience either. “It is his first, and one of his most genial quartets, but I think when it was first played, the audiences and the players would have felt a palpable sense of danger,” he says. “You’ll hear plenty of dramatic contrast, and the slow movement is quite a journey with a very mysterious section two-thirds of the way through.” But he doesn’t want to overstate the case. “It is nice to play some lighter Beethoven,” he says, “especially with the two pieces that are coming next.”

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arts & culture A team effort

and Tarantino’s hallmark for perverse gun violence, The Hateful Eight is a movie that confronts America’s violent and bloody past alongside its present. And true to Tarantino form, Hateful Eight relies heavily on cinematic history. “As much as the objective is to make a good movie, it’s also to honor the medium,” Hoffman says. A sentiment echoed by Hateful Eight’s set decorator, Rosemary Brandenburg. “My dad was a history professor,” Brandenburg says. “He would scoff at these people because it wasn’t completely factual. Well, I don’t care. I love telling stories. Never let the facts in the way of a good story.” Tarantino has never let the facts get in the way of a good story, making Brandenburg and Hoffman perfect collaborators to lend credence to the world of The Hateful Eight. “I try to tell a story with every single object that I select or make or fabricate or rent or buy or whatever to stick in this environment,” Brandenburg explains. “It has to make sense for the whole story, and it has to make sense for the characters. And it has to provide a background.” Brandenburg works hard to make sure every piece of décor provides “subliminal information” while conforming to the setting. “How would this item have arrived in this frontier location?” Brandenburg asks herself. “It had to have arrived on somebody’s back or horse or in a covered wagon.” A chair, a stove or a bear skin rug does not merely appear at Minnie’s Haberdashery, nor does it arrive intact or free of scuffs and scrapes. “The textures and the aging and all of the history that this thing would have gone through, just to be there and to live in this environment,” Brandenburg continues. “With grease and grime and dirt and rats and mice and, you know, just nasty!”

Behind the designs of ‘The Hateful Eight’ by Michael J. Casey

I

t takes an army to make a movie. Behind the writers, directors, producers and actors, hundreds of unseen hands toil endlessly to set the cinematic stage and deliver the illusion we call “movie magic.” “You bring together what [is] real and what [is] cinematic, and you find your own truth,” costume designer Courtney Hoffman tells Boulder Weekly. And that combination of what is real and what is cinematic forms the very core of Hoffman’s most The Weinstein Company

Quentin Tarantino sits with actors on the carefully-crafted historic set of The Hateful Eight.

recent work in The Hateful Eight — a snowy Western shot in Ultra Panavision 70 around Wilson Mesa in Telluride, Colorado. Written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, The Hateful Eight is set a decade or so after the Civil War and is confined primarily to a trading post, Minnie’s Haberdashery, where two bounty hunters, a criminal, the local sheriff, a traveling hangman, a drifting cow puncher, a hired hand, a stagecoach driver and an old Confederate general ride out a blizzard. Complicated by race relations, notions of justice

With everything in its place, the décor becomes almost invisible and the world of the movie feels natural and lived in. It allows the eyes of the viewers to rest, which is Brandenburg’s goal. “It’s almost like being the straight-man in a comedy,” Brandenburg says. Not quite the same for Hoffman, whose costume designs provide information directly. Be it Major Marquis Warren’s (Samuel L. Jackson) Union cavalry outfit or a character switching hats in a key scene, each outfit clues the audience in. “I definitely approach in research, after reading the script ... and having those initial meetings with the director,” Hoffman says. “Now for Quentin, he really likes cinematic references. So you can show him all the photography and paintings in the world, and he’s always going to respond: ‘[I want] that jacket that’s in The Tall T [a 1957 Budd Boetticher Western] more than that jacket in that photo.’ “I ended up getting him on board with some pieces in the Autry Archives,” Hoffman continues. “John Ruth’s big buffalo coat was a piece that was actually from history.” Much like Tarantino’s previous films — Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained — this intersection of actual history and cinematic history is where these stories truly find their identity. “I would look at old Westerns and then I would look at primary research,” Brandenburg adds. “In our movie there is an awful lot of action around a stove, so we would look at old stoves in movies. But maybe I didn’t really like their stoves. Maybe I could do better. I actually tried to do better than the old movies.” Hoffman agrees, pointing out that she wanted to dress one of Hateful Eight’s bad guys in a black duster because of its tie to Once Upon a Time in the West. “You can’t take it lightly when you have the ability to play with an iconic Western,” Hoffman says. “For us, it’s more like: how can I best serve this archetype — honoring all the archetypes that came before it — and create my own?” Crafting an individual work while adhering to a historical precedent and fitting a director’s aesthetic isn’t an easy task, but in The Hateful Eight, Brandenburg and Hoffman pull it off in spades.

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SHAKEDOWN STREET PERFORMS 5/2/70

KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE FEAT SOUL X WITH THE JANES & THE OTHER GUYS FRI. JAN 22 8:00 PM

3 SETS; 1 ACOUSTIC / 2 ELECTRIC

MOE.

THURS. JAN 14 8:30 PM

SAT. JAN 23 11:00 AM

ILLENIUM

SAID THE SKY & COVEX FRI. JAN 15 8:30 PM

ELECTRON

FEAT MARC BROWNSTEIN & ARON MAGNER (DISCO BISCUITS), TOM HAMILTON (JRAD) & MIKE GREENFIELD (LOTUS) YAMN SAT. JAN 16 8:30 PM

KITCHEN DWELLERS CASEY RUSSEL’S SOUL SHACK THURS. JAN 21 8:30 PM

TECHNICOLOR TONE FACTORY & ROWDY SHADEHOUSE FRI. JAN 22 8:30 PM ROOTS & LOVE REGGAE PRESENT

THE MIGHTY DIAMONDS & THE YELLOW WALL DUB SQUAD HWY 50 & MONO VERDE SAT. JAN 23 8:30 PM

TERRAVITA THURS. JAN 28 7:30 PM

SUMMER CAMP ON THE ROAD

CHASING THE LIGHT: THE ROCK & ROLL PHOTOGRAPHY OF JAY BLAKESBERG THE DRUNKEN HEARTS **FREE SHOW**

THURS. JAN 28 7:00 PM 97.3 KBCO & DAILY CAMERA PRESENTS

LOS LOBOS

FRI. JAN 29 7:00 PM

LEFTAPALOOZA REUNION

HEY LADY! & MY BLUE SKY THURS. FEB 4 7:00 PM 97.3 KBCO PRESENTS

GRACE POTTER FRI. FEB 5 8:00 PM

EMANCIPATOR ENSEMBLE CHROME SPARKS

SAT. FEB 6 8:00 PM AWESOME FACTORY PRESENTS

BRILLZ

PARTY FAVOR, GHASTLY & INFUZE FRI. FEB 12 7:00 PM DAILY CAMERA PRESENTS

AN EVENING WITH JESSE COOK

FRI. JAN 29 8:30 PM

SAT. FEB 13 8:00 PM

DAILY CAMERA PRESENTS

97.3 KBCO & BOULDER WEEKLY PRESENT

CASH’D OUT

DR. DOG

SAT. JAN 30 8:30 PM

THURS. FEB 18 7:30 PM

HALDEN WOFFORD & THE HI BEAMS

HOP ALONG

97.3 KBCO PRESENTS

AWESOME FACTORY PRESENTS

G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE

DELUXE

THURS. FEB 25 7:30 PM

PEKING DUK

THURS. FEB 4 8:00 PM

PINK TALKING FISH BRINGS GAMEHENDGE TO COLORADO MALAI LLAMA

FRI. FEB 5 8:30 PM

MARCH FOURTH! SAT. FEB 6 8:30 PM

NA’AN STOP

POLICULTURE & REAL TALK FRI. FEB 12 8:30 PM

EMINENCE ENSEMBLE NEON SINES

TUES. FEB 16 7:30 PM

EMILY KING FEB 17 ........................................................................................ REEL BIG FISH FEB 19 .............................................................................. THE MAIN SQUEEZE FEB 27 ............................................................................................. MIKE STUD MAR 1 ........................................................................................ YELLOW CLAW MAR 3 ................................................................................... THE REVIVALISTS MAR 4 ................................................................................................. KUNG FU

26 January 7, 2016

FRI. JAN 15 6:45 PM THE FAMILY LEARNING CENTER PRESENTS

STRFKR & COM TRUISE SUN. APR 3 7:30 PM

JOANNA NEWSOM ROBIN PECKNOLD

MON. APR 4 7:00 PM

AN EVENING WITH STEVE HACKETT FRI. APR 8 7:00 PM 97.3 KBCO PRESENTS

ANDERS OSBORNE THURS. APR 14 - SAT. APR 16 7:30 PM

AN EVENING WITH DARK STAR ORCHESTRA APR 18 ...................................................................................... JOHNNY CLEGG APR 29 ....................... RICHARD CHEESE & LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE MAY 9 ............................................................................................... THE WAIFS MAY 20 ............................................................................... DESERT DWELLERS JULY 22 ........................................................................ GREENSKY BLUEGRASS

Boulder Weekly


Courtesy of the Fox Theatre

THE WAILERS, MIKE LOVE. 9 P.M. THURSDAY, JAN. 7, THE FOX THEATRE, 1135 13TH ST., BOULDER, 720-645-2467. SEE FULL EVENT LISTINGS ONLINE. To have an event considered for the calendar, send information to calendar@ boulderweekly.com. Please be sure to include address, date, time and phone number associated with each event. The deadline for consideration is Thursday at noon the week prior to publication. Boulder Weekly does not guarantee the publication of any event.

Thursday, January 7 Music Antonio Lopez. 6:30 p.m. Cafe Aion, 1235 Pennsylvania Ave., Boulder, 303-993-8131. Beauty of My Land. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Bluegrass Jam. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing Company, 400 W. South Boulder Road, Lafayette, 303-339-0767. Boulder Swing Collective. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Rebecca Folsom 7:30 p.m. Friday, Jan. 8, Nissi’s, 2675 North Park Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Head over to Nissi’s on Jan. 8 to hear the soulful singing of local musician Rebecca Folsom. Folsom grew up in Boulder, absorbing inspiration from her Western environment and Zen spirituality. Her songs are filled with raw feeling, exploring the spectrum of emotions life has to offer. She’s played her music around the country and Europe. And in addition to playing music, she teaches songwriting workshops and has published two books of poetry. With a near four-octave range and songwriting skills, Folsom is sure to put on a great show.

Listen

Courtesy of Rebecca Folsom

Boulder Weekly

Boulder Swing Collective. 9 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. The Custom Shop. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Ed Breazeale and Friends. 6 p.m. Gravity Brewing, 1150 Pine Street, Unit B, Louisville, 303-544-0746. George Nelson Trio. 9 p.m. License No. 1, 2115 13th St., Boulder, 303-442-4344. Jami Lunde Duo. 7 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Learn

Joseph Teichman. 7:30 p.m. Samples World Bistro, 370 Main St., Longmont, 303-3279318. Joshua Vanachorn. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Lindsey Saunders. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555. Mini Me. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. see EVENTS Page 28

Watch

Lost Girls of S. Sudan: Lost Girl Found

Bright Hawk

7 p.m. Wednesday, Jan. 13, Chautauqua Community House, 301 Morning Glory Drive, Boulder, 303-4407666.

9 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 10, The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303440-4628.

Lost Girls of S. Sudan: Lost Girl Found tells the story of female Sudanese refugees escaping civil war and the violence that comes with it. While the book itself is fiction, it is based on the stories of real women who settled in the Denver/Boulder area. Written by University of Colorado Professor Laura M. DeLuca and International School of Denver middle school teacher Leah Bassoff, the highly acclaimed book won the 2015 Colorado Book award. Head over to Chautauqua to hear more from Bassoff and DeLuca about their book and the women who inspired it.

Bright Hawk has spent the past 20 years entertaining people all over the world. She is a storyteller, composer, percussionist and hang drum artist. Mixing African rhythms and vocals, Bright Hawk captivates audiences with her sounds, original music and combinations of various instruments including the djembe drum and marimbas. Along with her music, Bright Hawk is a renowned storyteller who entertains audiences of all ages. Stop by the Laughing Goat for a unique evening of music and stories.

Courtesy of Bright Hawk

January 7, 2016 27


events

A gathering place for great food, drinks & entertainment Buy Tickets: www.nissis.com

OUR EXTENSIVE RENOVATIONS ARE COMPLETE AND WE’RE READY TO CELEBRATE. BOOK YOUR NEXT PRIVATE EVENT AT NISSI’S Have your next business meeting, celebration, Benefit, or wedding at Nissis. Award winning Cuisine & service and world class sound in a beautiful and artistic setting

www.nissis.com/events

Upcoming Events & Entertainment Thursday January 7

THE CUSTOM SHOP “Rock”

Friday January 8

REBECCA FOLSOM BAND Saturday January 9

VAN WHOLEN “A Tribute to Van Halen & The Who” With Special Guests

THE SEERS Wednesday January 13

WEDNESDAY NIGHT BLUES Featuring

JACK HADLEY BAND Thursday January 14

LADIES NIGHT WITH

ROMERO UNPLUGGED Friday January 15

DEJA BLU “Variety Dance”

Saturday January 16

THUMPIN’

“Dance-Dance-Dance”

Sunday January 17

BOTH SIDES NOW: THE SONGS OF JONI MITCHELL Tuesday January 19

FACE

“All Vocal Rock”

Wednesday January 20

WEDNESDAY NIGHT BLUES Featuring

RHYTHM ALLSTARS FREE ADMISSION Thursday January 21

GINGER SLAP “Rock”

FREE ADMISSION

Give the Gift of a Great Night Out!

Nissi’s Gift Cards available @ nissis.com

2675 NORTH PARK DRIVE (SE Corner of 95th & Arapahoe)

LAFAYETTE, CO 303.665.2757 28 January 7, 2016

EVENTS from Page 27

arts

Open Bluegrass Jam. 6 p.m. Vapor Distillery, 5311 Western Avenue, Suite 180, Boulder, 303-997-6134. Power Lung Rangers. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Riley Ann & River Glen. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. The Sunset Series: DJ Royal Swan and Friends. 5 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. Tyler Grant. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303485-9400. The Wailers, Mike Love. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467. Events Acrylics 2. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Barista. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Life. 2 p.m. and 7 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Open Access For Painters & Potters. 6:30 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902.

A Place in the Sun. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through April 24.

Glenn Randall

Mark Making. Firehouse Art Center, 667 Fourth Ave., Longmont, 303-651-2787. Through Jan. 24. Oil Paintings by Theresa Beckemeyer. Community Art Stop by NCAR to see Glenn Randall’s landscape photography, Program Gallery, through Jan. 30. NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Super Indian: Fritz Scholder, 1967-1980. Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Jan. 30. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Jan. 17. Photography by Glenn Randall. Community Art

Samba no Pe Dance Class. 6 p.m. PreEminence Hall, 3213 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-404-3804.

Program Gallery, NCAR, 1850 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-497-1174. Through Jan. 30.

Friday, January 8

Pretty/Dirty. Museum of Contemporary Art, 1485 Delgany St., Denver, 303-298-7554. Through Jan. 31.

Music Arthur Lee Land. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. Bandits. 6:30 p.m. The Forge, 4919 Broadway, Boulder, 303-396-8145. Boulder Blues Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. Brodie Kinder Duo, Zen Mustache. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. The Clarks. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555.

Revolt 1680/2180: Virgil Ortiz. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720865-5000. Through May 1.

Pete Stein. 10 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. Rebecca Folsom. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Robin Lewis Band. 5 p.m. Goorin Hat Shop, 943 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-443-4287.

Danny Shafer. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Lee Hill), 1501 Lee Hill Road, Suite 20, Boulder, 508-873-9185.

Selasse and the FaFa Family. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696.

The Expendables. 9 p.m. The Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 720-645-2467.

Tim Ostdiek. 6:30 p.m. Still Cellars, 1115 Colorado Ave., Longmont, 720-204-6064.

Greg Schochet Duo. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914.

Weston Smith. 5 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768.

Hunter Stone. 7 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Jesse Garland Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685.

Wylie Crazy Horse. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776BIKE. Events

Joe Teichman. 6 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847.

Adobe Photoshop For Photographers Hands-On. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range Street, Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647.

Johanna. 7 p.m. Grossen Bart Brewery, 1025 Delaware Ave., Longmont, 214-770-9847.

Barista. 1 p.m. and 5:45 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Johnny O Band. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Freaks. 10:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Kris Lager Band. 9 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458.

Intercambio English as a Second Language Class Level 4/5. 1 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

The Malah. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355.

Life. 3:15 p.m. and 8 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Matt Flaherty Band. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922.

Masterpiece Makers. 1 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-5031902.

New Family Dog. 6 p.m. Very Nice Brewing Company, 20 Lakeview Drive, Unit 112, Nederland, 303-258-3770. Nick O’Connor. 6:30 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 First Ave., Longmont, 720-442-8292.

Saturday, January 9 Music Aural Elixir. 11 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345.

When the Winds Whisper. Muse Gallery, 356 Main St., Longmont. 303-678-7869. Through Feb. 27. Wyeth: Andrew and Jamie in the Studio. Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway, Denver, 720-865-5000. Through Feb. 7.

The Beatles Tribute with Doctor Robert. 8 p.m. Dickens Opera House, 300 Main St., Longmont, 720-297-6397. Broke Down Shack. 4:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Danny Shafer Duo. 7:30 p.m. Oskar Blues CyclHOPS, 600 S. Airport Road, Longmont, 303-776BIKE. The Davellie Swing Band. 7 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Denny Driscoll. 5 p.m. Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont, 303-772-0258. The Farmer Sisters. 8 p.m. Jamestown Mercantile Cafe, 108 Main St., Jamestown, 303-442-5847. Flynn & Co. 7 p.m. Longs Peak Pub, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886. Foxfeather. 10 p.m. Conor O’Neill’s, 1922 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-1922. Intuit. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Jon Weiss. 7 p.m. Por Wine House, 836 1/2 Main St., Louisville, 970-259-3555. Longmont Jammers. 1 p.m. Red Frog Coffee, 15 Ken Pratt Blvd., Suite 200, Longmont, 303-7727209. Lyons Old-time Square Dance. 7 p.m. Mayama Movement Studio, 625 Fourth Ave., Lyons, 720-2455448. The Mighty Twisters. 10 p.m. The Dark Horse, 2922 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-442-8162. Miles Wide. 8:30 p.m. The Roost, 526 Main St., Longmont, 303-827-3380. The Pamlico Sound. 10 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Robert Wilson Band. 9 p.m. The Speakeasy, 301 Main St., Longmont, 720-684-4728.

Boulder Weekly


events Shir Yaakov Shabbaton. 6 p.m. Nevei Kodesh, 1925 Glenwood Drive, Boulder, 303-443-4567.

theater

The Sixty Minute Men. 8:30 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400.

Joan Marcus

Songwriter Circle: Andy Eppler, Tim Ostdiek and Nick O’Connor. 8 p.m. Samples World Bistro, 370 Main St., Longmont, 303-327-9318. Sound Circle Solstice Concert. 5 p.m. Columbine Unity Church, 8900 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303546-0114. The Symbols. 8 p.m. Liquid Mechanics Brewing Company, 297 N. U.S. Highway 287, Lafayette, 303449-8623. Tom Weiser Jazz Quartet. 7 p.m. Caffe Sole, 637R S. Broadway St., Boulder, 303-499-2985. Tyler T. 7 p.m. Twisted Pine Brewery, 3201 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-786-9270.

Murder for who? Murder for Two, now playing at DCPA through Feb. 21.

Van Wholen. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757.

The Addams Family. BDT Stage, 5501 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-449-6000. Through Feb. 27.

WadiRum. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

Murder for Two. Denver Performing Arts Complex, 1345 Champa St., Denver, 720-865-4239, Through Feb. 21.

Events 20th Annual Lafayette Quaker Oatmeal Festival. 7:30 a.m. Pioneer Elementary School, 101 E. Baseline Road, Lafayette, 720-561-7800. Barista. 1 p.m. and 5:45 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Ecstatic Dance. 10 a.m. Free Motion Dance Studio, 2126 Pearl St., Boulder, 720-379-8299. Freaks. 11 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 1135 13th St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Hands on Healings. 3 p.m. Boulder Psychic Institute, 1332 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-530-0920. Life. 3:15 p.m. and 8 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Open Code for Youth with Coder Dojo. 1 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303441-3100. Tinker Time. 10 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Western Views. 10 a.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100.

Sound Circle Solstice Concert. 5 p.m. Columbine Unity Church, 8900 Arapahoe Road, Boulder, 303546-0114.

Sensory Friendly Playtime. 9:30 a.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424.

Takcs Quartet. 4 p.m. Grusin Music Hall, Imig Building at CU Boulder, 1020 18th St., Boulder, 303492-1411.

Monday, January 11

Events Cavalleria Rustican/Pagliacci: Royal Opera House. 1 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. East of Eden. 4:30 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Graphic Design Certificate Program. 9 a.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range Street, Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. Hawaiian Hula Classes. 5 p.m. The Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772.

Music Antonio Lopez Duo. 9 p.m. Pearl Street Pub, 1108 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-777-6768. Dr Phil Good. 9:30 p.m. Southern Sun Pub & Brewery, 627 S. Broadway, Boulder, 303-543-0886. Open Mic. 8 p.m. Johnny’s Cigar Bar, 1801 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0884. Open Mic Hosted by Silent Bear. 7 p.m. Sancho’s Boulder Arrow, 1325 Broadway, Boulder, 720-8498458. Takacs Quartet. 7:30 p.m. Grusin Music Hall, Imig Music Building at CU Boulder, 1020 18th St., Boulder, 303-492-1411. see EVENTS Page 30

Sunday, January 10 Music Billy Shaddox. 10 a.m. The Stone Cup, 442 High St., Lyons, 303-823-2345. Bright Hawk. 9 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628.

words

Choral Compline. 9 p.m. St. John’s Episcopal Church, 1419 Pine St., Boulder, 303-442-5246. Felonious Smith Duo. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Tasty Weasel Tap Room, 1800 Pike Road, Unit B, Longmont, 303-776-1914. Kenny Johnson Live. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4404628. Laser Bunny. 3 p.m. Oskar Blues Brewery, 303 Main St., Lyons, 303-823-6685. Lindsey Saunders. 6 p.m. Oskar Blues Home Made Liquids and Solids, 1555 S. Hover Road, Longmont, 303-485-9400. The Malia Llama. 10 p.m. Mountain Sun Pub, 1535 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-546-0886. Michele Castro Plays Brazilian Music. 10 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Native Station. 4:30 p.m. Left Hand Creek Park, 1800 Creekside Drive, Longmont, 303-651-8992. Open Bluegrass Pick with Pat Fiddle and New Grass. 1 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. The Prairie Scholars: Brews & Tunes. 5 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 First Ave., Longmont, 720-4428292.

Boulder Weekly

WE OFFER Large Menu Selection & Daily Specials Daily Drink Specials 28 Taps & Large Selection of Craft Beers 16 Large Screen TVs 8 Billiard Tables Dart Boards Video Games KARAOKE DJ ON THURSDAY NIGHTS LIVE BAND ON FRIDAY NIGHTS Fri. JAN. 8

Boogie Machine 9pm-1am

Tim Coburn

Thursday, Jan. 7 Sue Wang — Messages from the Black Recliner. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074.

DJ ON SATURDAY NIGHTS Sat. JAN. 9

DJ Rockstar Aaron

Sunday, Jan. 10 An Afternoon with Local Authors. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-4472074.

9pm-1:30am

Monday, Jan. 11 “So, You’re a Poet” Open Poetry Reading. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Tuesday, Jan. 12 Innisfree Weekly Open Poetry Reading. 7 p.m. Innisfree Poetry Bookstore & Cafe, 1203 13th St., Suite A, Boulder, 303-495-3303.

Head to the Boulder Book Store to hear about Susan Johnson Hadler’s new book, The Beauty of What Remains, about retracing her family history.

Wednesday, Jan. 7 Julia Herz — Beer Pairing. 7:30 p.m. Boulder Book Store, 1107 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-447-2074. Lost Girls of S. Sudan: Lost Girl Found. 7 p.m. Chautauqua Community House, 301 Morning Glory Drive, Boulder, 303-440-7666.

380 Main St. Longmont, CO 303-772-3839 longmontrestaurants.co January 7, 2016 29


events

EVENTS from Page 29

Events Adult Ballet at Reverence Academy of Dance. 11:30 a.m. Reverence Academy of Dance, 1370 Miners Drive, Suite 111, Lafayette, 303-661-0719. Cinema Program free screening Scenes From Under Childhood Parts I & III. 6 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Citizenship Classes. 6 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Intercambio English as a Second Language Class Level 6/7. 9:15 a.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Tuesday, January 12

Boulder Chorale Auditions. 4 p.m. Atonement Lutheran Church of Boulder, 685 Inca Parkway, Boulder, 303-499-4567. Boureas. 6 p.m. Upslope Brewing Company (Flatiron Park), 1898 S. Flatiron Court, Boulder, 508-8739185. Gasoline Lollipops. 8:30 p.m. Waterloo, 809 Main St., Louisville, 303-993-2094. Open Jam. 8 p.m. The Lazy Dog, 1346 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-3355. Open Mic. 7 p.m. Front Range Brewing Company, 400 W South Boulder Road, Lafayette, 303-3390767.

Open Mic Hosted By Black Dog. 9 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Open Mic Night with The Prairie Scholars. 6 p.m. Skeye Brewing, 900 S. Hover St., Unit D, Longmont, 303-774-7698. Events Boulder Folders. 6:30 p.m. George Reynolds Branch Library, 3595 Table Mesa Drive, Boulder, 303-441-3120. Boulder World Affairs Discussion Group. 10 a.m. Meadows Branch Library, 4800 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-441-4390.

Music

Getting Started with Podcasting. 6 p.m. Boulder Digital Arts, 1600 Range Street, Suite 100, Boulder, 303-800-4647. Open Code for Youth with Coder Dojo. 4 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303441-3100. Professional Dancers Needed for Boulder Dance Co-op Audition. 8 p.m. Boulder Ballet Studio at The Dairy Arts Center, 2690 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-447-9772. What is Happening in Nepal Now? 7 p.m. Changes in Latitude Travel Store, 2525 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-786-8406. Works and Process: Choreography and Live Music. 6 p.m. Shine Restaurant & Gathering Place, 2027 13th St., Boulder, 303-449-0120. Wednesday, January 13 Music Blues Night. 10 p.m. Pioneer Inn, 15 E. First St., Nederland, 303-258-7733. Cocktail Hour with the Wallpaper House Band. 4 p.m. Flatirons Terrace, 930 28th St., Boulder, 303939-0898. The Cody Sisters with Jackson Earles. 8 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. Flash Mountain Flood. 7 p.m. Owsley’s Golden Road, 1301 Broadway St., Boulder, 720-849-8458. Jack Hadley Band. 8 p.m. Nissi’s, 2675 Northpark Drive, Lafayette, 303-665-2757. Open Bluegrass Pick hosted by Eric Wiggs. 8 p.m. Longs Peak Pub, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont, 303-651-7886. Open Mic. 6:30 p.m. Cannon Mine Coffee, 210 S. Public Road, Lafayette, 303-665-0625. Paper Moonshine. 8 p.m. The Laughing Goat Coffeehouse, 1709 Pearl St., Boulder, 303-440-4628. Strange Birds. 6:30 p.m. St Julien Hotel & Spa, 900 Walnut St., Boulder, 720-406-9696. Events Acrylic Painting. 5 p.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. ALDA-Boulder (Social Sign Language Class). 3 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. BoulderReads Tutor Training. 1 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Breakfast Club. 9 a.m. Meadows Branch Library, 4800 Baseline Road, Boulder, 303-441-4390. Cavalleria Rustican/Pagliacci: Royal Opera House. 1 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826. Color My World. 11 a.m. WOW! Children’s Museum, 110 N Harrison Ave., Lafayette, 303-604-2424. Cosmology and Modern Physics. 6 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-4413100. Flatirons Running FunRun. 5:30 p.m. Flatirons Running Inc., 629 S. Broadway Street, Unit E, Boulder, 303-554-7837. Flowers (Loreak). 7 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

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Intercambio English as a Second Language Class Level 6/7. 9:15 a.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Intro to Acrylics. All Day. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Midday Music. 12 p.m. Boulder Library, 1001 Arapahoe Ave., Boulder, 303-441-3100. Tinker Time. 10 a.m. Tinker Art Studio, 1300 Yellow Pine Ave., Suite B, Boulder, 303-503-1902. Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art. 4 p.m. The Boedecker Theater, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder, 303-440-7826.

Boulder Weekly


American Life in Poetry: Column 560 by Wesley McNair

The only times I feel truly homicidal are when I see somebody abusing a pet, and I was glad to find this poem so I could get that off my chest. But don’t ever even think about taking a kick at my old dog, Howard. Wesley McNair lives in Maine and is that state’s poet laureate. This is from his book Lovers of the Lost, from David R. Godine. His most recent book is The Lost Child: Ozark Poems, (Godine, 2014). — Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laureate

The Puppy From down the road, starting up and stopping once more, the sound of a puppy on a chain who has not yet discovered he will spend his life there. Foolish dog, to forget where he is and wander until he feels the collar close fast around his throat, then cry all over again about the little space in which he finds himself. Soon, when there is no grass left in it and he understands it is all he has, he will snarl and bark whenever he senses a threat to it. Who would believe this small sorrow could lead to such fury no one would ever come near him?

100% COLLEGE BOUND. 0 MULTIPLE CHOICE TESTS. Real world learning for grades 6-12 in the heart of Boulder

We do not accept unsolicited submissions. American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2010 by Wesley McNair, “The Puppy,” from Lovers of the Lost: New & Selected Poems, (David R. Godine, 2010). Poem reprinted by permission of Wesley McNair and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2015 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction’s author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006.

Send poetry submissions of 250 words or fewer to poetry@boulderweekly.com.

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January 7, 2016 31


screen Tarantinope

‘The Hateful Eight’ is pointless, stupid garbage
 by Ryan Syrek

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ay this much for writer/direceven if we’ve done nothing to warrant tor/foot fetishist/N-word-addict being forced to watch said things hapQuentin Tarantino when he pen. It’s mind-boggling how Tarantino, finally made his first bad movie: a master of thrills in epic scenes like the he made one of the worst films opening of Inglourious Basterds, has forever. The Hateful Eight is a disgusting, gotten it is impossible to generate even stupid, overlong bore. It would have the smallest degree of tension if you litsucked at half its length, but at least you erally don’t care what happens to anyone could have done something more pleaon screen. That was the singular thought surable and less soul-crushing with the I had as characters barfed blood and rest of your day, like gargled broken glass Tarantino’s trademark dialogue hour or listened to the dying breaths of a after hour: “I don’t care. I don’t care. I beloved family don’t care.” pet. Because the In every sinman has made so gle Tarantino many masterpiecmovie, there’s at es, there have least one cringebeen delirious worthy scene in attempts to mine which the directhis vomitory of tor forgets himvile drivel for self, misreads some symbolic, tone and sucsophisticated cumbs to some commentary on disturbing, sick race relations and fetishism. This is In The Hateful Eight, awful people get stranded misogyny in three hours of in a blizzard in the 1800s with other awful modern America. people, and everyone does awful things to only that, puncother in an awful movie that’s an awful That is the equiv- each tuated with ugly waste of three hours. alent of thoughtbits of silly gore ful art critics tryand goofy cariing to make-believe a Jackson Pollock catures. But what absolutely must be painting out of someone’s freshly soiled addressed is the unspeakable, unsophistibedsheets. cated, amateurish racism. There is no meaning or significance to watching The plot is gossamer... because why Confederate sympathizers call a black would you want a three-hour movie to man the N-word in the context providhave a story? Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson) catches a ride during ed. It holds no current social relevance and feels like a naked excuse for a blizzard with bounty hunter John “The Tarantino to be able to write his favorite Hangman” Ruth (Kurt Russell), who is escorting the murderess Daisy Domergue word as many times as he’d like. Worse yet, any implied modern meaning asso( Jennifer Jason Leigh) to the authorities. ciated with the actions of Major Warren Along the way, they pick up Chris are unspeakably wretched, as though Mannix (Walton Goggins), still a proud Tarantino is condemning the enslaved in Confederate supporter despite the South equal proportion to their masters. having recently lost the Civil War. The The Hateful Eight is worthless, quartet take shelter at an isolated outpost mean-spirited, racial and sexist fetishism with Bob (Demian Bichir), a handyman; doused in schlocky fake blood, and godOswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth), an actual hangman; Joe Gage (Michael Madsen), a dammit an artist as skilled as Tarantino should know it. One movie can’t possibly cowpoke; and General Sandy Smithers (Bruce Dern), a rebel commander known retroactively erode a director’s filmography, but if one could do so, this would for slaughtering slaves. be it. The title of the film tells you these This review first appeared in The people are “hateful.” They are worse than Reader in Omaha, Nebraska. that. They are irredeemable, gross, awful pieces of shit who deserve all the unspeakable things that happen to them, Boulder Weekly


film

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Mustang tells both a political and a personal story.

Untamed adolescence Finding freedom in ‘Mustang’ by Michael J. Casey

O

nce upon a time, there were five beautiful Turkish sisters whose parents died when they were very young. As a result, they were sent to live with their uncle and grandmother, high in the hills above the city of Istanbul. One day, a nosy neighbor spied them indecently fraternizing with schoolboys and Uncle locked them in their room and took away their TV, phones and computers. With little else to do, the five heroines spent their days entertaining one another. They laughed, they played, they napped like a pile of kittens soaking up the sunlight. And as long as they were together, they thought, everything would be all right. And it was, until the time came for them to marry. While not an overt fairytale, the root of the story is, and the movie is all the better for it. Even better is how well firstON THE BILL: Mustang. Opens January 15. Landmark time writer/director Deniz Gamze Theatres Chez Artiste. 2800 S. Ergüven — working with co-screenwriter Colorado Blvd., Denver, 303-352Alice Winocour — weaves her own brand 1992. Tickets start at $8.50 at landmarktheatres.com. of Renoirian rationality through the characters. These girls aren’t simply prisoners of this house and this particular patriarch, but of society and social customs. Uncle isn’t necessarily a bad guy; he is just operating the only way he knows how. He may yell and lose his temper when the girls won’t be quiet at the table, but he is not their father, and he has absolutely no idea what to do with them. Nor does Grandmother, who does her best to dress them in dowdy clothing and teach them how to cook. As far as she knows, the only role open to them is housewife, and they need to be prepped. The girls know they want something more; they just don’t know what that something is. The only one with an idea is the youngest, Lale (Günes Sensoy), and it is through her eyes that we see the story of Mustang. Lale knows that this world is not for her, or her sisters, but she is the only one who seems to realize that freedom — if there is such a thing — lies just beyond the hills in the city of Istanbul. She’s too young to get there on her own, but someday she won’t be, and she has been preparing. Mustang is very much a political film, one that challenges the confinement of gender roles in a conservative society, but it is also a personal one — one that tackles the adolescent experience of rebellion and the need to make rules on your own terms. Looking back, those rules never made much sense, but at the time, the feeling of getting away with something was palpable. Somehow, you found a loophole others missed and exploited it. That was and still is a liberating feeling, and when it is attached to a sexual experience — as it often is — it’s also a hell of a lot of fun. That fun is the heart of Mustang. Life can often be a series of crushing blows that constantly steal one’s innocence and childhood away from them. But it is also a collection of joyous moments shared with those closest to you. Mustang is both. Boulder Weekly

THURSDAY JANUARY 7 7:00 PM

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Boulder Weekly


cuisine review Courtesy of the Taj Mahal Restaurant

T

here are few institutions we hold more sacred in Boulder County than the Indian buffet. Not only do we have a relatively high concentration of restaurants offering up all-you-can-eat feasts with food from India, Nepal, Tibet and the Himalaya Taj Mahal III region, but these plac1075 E. South es tend to be reliably Boulder Rd., Suite good. It’d take two 145, Louisville, hands, and probably 303-926-0999 some feet, to count the number of reliable Himalayan or Indian buffets we have at our disposal. Taj Mahal III in Louisville is no exception. Actually, they may be the exception: their fare has won thousands of fans in the county, and enough to always rank near the top of the Indian category during Best of Boulder East County time; and enough to win the category last year. A trip to their buffet during a recent lunch hour reveals that Taj Mahal III does indeed do things exceptionally well. The building is tucked away in an otherwise inconspicuous shopping plaza. As expected, the lunch rush was heavy when we went; most tables in the restaurant were occupied. Inside, the lighting is low but the energy is high with busy servers and hungry patrons. The designs are familiar, the booths are enveloping and the smells are enticing. I grabbed a plate and plopped on just about one of everything on the buffet line. First was a vegetable samosa and a few nuggets of vegetable pakora. What was remarkable about both was

not too syrupy and with just a slight amount of texure. The next items were a chicken tikka masala and tandoori chicken. The chicken tikka masala was a pretty standard rendition of the dish. It was well balanced with a bit of richness and sweetness, as well as deep underlying spice and brightness from the tomato. The chicken came in big ol‘ chunks that are really dangerous to anyone who can’t stop eating good things. The tandoori chicken had the typical bright red leather skin, but Taj Mahal’s had a pleasant char as well. The meat underneath was tender and fell off the bone. Next was a plate of turkey meatballs in yellow curry. The meatballs were remarkably tender and light. The curry was sweet and mild, and made for good dipping with the naan. The naan, by the way, was much flatter and less billowy than other naans. It had a great char on just over half of the surface area on each piece, and so it added great smoke and flavor to the curry and to other dishes. My favorite dish was the saag paneer: spinach cooked in cheese, cream and spices. What excelled in this dish was the addition of several large cinnamon sticks to the buffet tray. Those aromatics stayed with the spinach, and imparted a black pepper and cinnamon flavor to each bite. The alu gobi (cauliflower and potato) and mushroom matter (mushroom in onions and tomatoes) were also solid takes on staple dishes. There’s no point in wasting time on bad Indian lunch buffets. Conversely, there’s merit in spending a little more time to get to a good one. Taj Mahal III is worth the investment.

All you can eat and more

Taj Mahal III in Louisville is a deserving community favorite by Matt Cortina the audible crunch with which they were split. The shell on the samosa was slightly thicker than others, but not a hindrance. It kept the potato and pea mixture on the inside piping hot and nicely structured. The pakora were also crispier than typical, but the crunch made for a satisfying texture with the steamy cauliflower and potatoes on the inside. What were also notable about the first bites were the two chutneys — tamarind and mint — that accompanied the samosa and pakora. The mint was robust with an invigorating kick of spice. The tamarind was deep and smoky, with a residual sweetness. Both chutneys were the perfect consistency — not too viscous,

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Boulder Weekly


nibbles Kim Long

GROCERANTS AND PULSES RISING Here is what we’ll be nibbling, sipping and buying in 2016

by John Lehndorff

F

or as long as I can remember I’ve been a food trend nerd and fascinated by the food of the future as depicted in science fiction and fantasy novels and films. I binge read statistics about what we are eating, drinking and buying at the grocery store even if I’m not writing about it. Here is what the experts are predicting for the coming year, and in 12 months I’ll check back and see if any of this stuff actually happens. Grocerants: Expect to see the line between restaurants and grocery stores further blur in 2016 as everybody sells groceries, ready-to-heat meals and ready-to-eat-now fare and upgrades delivery and

Boulder Weekly

Kimchi Village in Aurora sells kimchi (fermented, pickled vegetables) in diverse varieties as well as Korean banchan, the tasty dishes that accompany Korean barbecue.

pickup options. Expect “grocerant” dining areas like those you already enjoy at Boulder County supermarkets and natural food stores to become much more common nationally. Also in supermarkets, you will see more digital shelf price tags like those in use at Hazel’s liquor store in Boulder. Savory meets sweet: In the coming year we are likely to see more sweet-and-savory food products. Chobani is introducing Chipotle Pineapple Yogurt. England’s Cadbury celebrates the 100th anniversary of its boxed chocolates with fillings including Kale Crème, Wasabi Crunch and Beet Jelly. You will hear a lot about savory breakfast oatmeal, i.e., topped with

sriracha and a poached egg. It’s odd but not far removed from cheesy grits or congee, the savory Asian rice porridge. Finally, the maple-bacon boom has jumped the shark with the introduction of Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop-Tarts. Canned wine: They all laughed, cackled and guffawed when Colorado’s Oskar Blues Brewery started selling its exceptional brews in cans at a time when cans were synonymous with cheap, watery American lagers. Now almost every craft brewery is canning their ales. These days, experts are chuckling about the see NIBBLES Page 39

January 7, 2016 37


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38 January 7, 2016

Boulder Weekly


nibbles John Lehndorff

Kim Long

A McDonald’s in Aurora lets you order meals from a kiosk that are delivered to the table.

The No. 4 Tai Nam pho at Lafayette’s Pho Café is topped with rare steak, well-done flank, Thai basil leaves and jalapeno slices.

NIBBLES from Page 37

fact that Denver’s award-winning Infinite Monkey Theorem winery is canning four wines including moscato and rose. You’ll see other craft wineries doing the same in 2016. Also: Craft brew consolidation will continue as brewing giants pay billions for top Colorado craft brewers. Waste watchers: The culinary adjective of the year will be “low-waste.” Look for produce sections to offer deals on “ugly” but still edible items. Watch for invasive, “trash” and poorly named species to be gently sautéed with butter, shallots and pinot noir wine on fine dining menus. Support will likely rise for organizations like Boulder Food Rescue, which

Boulder Weekly

retrieves edible food from eateries and markets and delivers it by bicycle to community nonprofits. Have it your way: With the introduction of allday breakfast (yay!) and new items like macaroni and cheese and fried mozzarella sticks, McDonald’s is eagerly trying to revive its fast food fortunes. The McDonald’s at 4000 S. Parker Road in Aurora is experimenting with ordering via kiosk with food delivered to the table in fast casual fashion. An Australian outpost is dishing everything from Moroccan roast chicken breast to lentil and eggplant salad. At an upscale McDonald’s in Hong Kong, servers deliver burgers on wooden boards after you visit

the salad bar. If none of these approaches work, they’ll break out the curiously boneless McRib Sandwich again. Do you have a pulse?: The United Nations has declared 2016 the International Year of the Pulses — dried lentils, beans and chickpeas. A mounting demand for vegetarian and vegan fare means that eggplant, farro and nori may start to push meat from its center-of-the-plate throne. Trend watchers say that will only happen with stronger and more memorable seasonings and cooking techniques for meatless see NIBBLES Page 40

January 7, 2016 39


nibbles

John Lehndorff

NIBBLES from Page 39

Denver’s Infinite Monkey Theorem offers four of its wines in cans.

entrees including flavors of the year: charred, smoked, deeply roasted. Buzzwords of the new year: In 2016 expect to hear more buzz about fermented foods (like Boulder-bottled organic Ozuke Kimchi); “regional” food (versus “local”); avocado toast; transparency in the food chain; cannabis, cheese and cider pairings; beef tallow; “slaveryfree” shrimp; housemade charcuterie

including rillettes; domestic fair trade crops; matcha tea baked goods; and gochujang (Korean fermented chile paste). IN THE KITCHEN Upgrade your popcorn with this simple approach shared by Peggy Markel, a longtime Boulder friend who leads foodies on visits to Italy, India,

Spain and Morocco: “I have always liked a bit of salt, cayenne and olive oil on my popcorn, but I thought why not really spice it up? It’s a South Indian tradition to add spices to hot coconut oil. This tempering releases their fragrance and locks the flavor into the oil so that it distributes easier. I added ground turmeric, cayenne and cumin to heated coconut oil to pour over fresh popcorn plus some good salt and a drizzle of olive oil. It’s the bomb!” Markel recommends always using fresh herbs, spices and oils and popping plain organic popcorn (i.e., without the weird fake butter chemical and excess salt). NIBBLES FLASHBACK In the May 28, 1997 Nibbles column in the Daily Camera Food section I wrote about the first Zagat 1997 Rocky Mountain Restaurants guidebook which featured kudos for many now-departed Boulder eateries including the European Café, Q’s, New York Deli, Full Moon Grill, Laudisio, Dandelion, John’s, Mataam Fez, Rudi’s and Tom’s Tavern. Zagat picks still serving in 2016 include the Greenbriar Inn, Flagstaff House, Moe’s Bagels, Zolo Grill, Jax Fish House and Mustard’s Last Stand.

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TASTE OF THE WEEK I recently thawed out with a large No. 4 Tai Nam — that’s rare steak and well done flank pho at the Pho Cafe, 1085 S. Public Road in Lafayette. A deep and wide bowl full of broth, rice noodles and meat gets customized with fresh mung bean sprouts, basil, jalapeno slices, lime wedges, hoisin sauce and red chile paste. The portion easily yielded another meal as it seemingly expanded when reheated. WORDS TO CHEW ON “Children want to mimic adults. They notice when you choose to prepare fresh vegetables over calling in another pizza pie for dinner. They will see that food made with love and care outweighs going through the drivethrough window.” — Chef Marcus Samuelsson. John Lehndorff hosts Radio Nibbles at 8:25 a.m. Thursdays on KGNU, 88.5 FM, 1390 FM, kgnu.org. Archived shows at news.kgnu.org/category/radio-nibbles. Send your comments and quibbles to: Nibbles@boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly


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laufrankisch. St. Laurent. Zweigelt. The names of these Austrian red grape varieties do nothing to put consumers at ease. Wine is intimidating. And consumers have always been most comfortable talking about wine when the words roll off the tongue. Few struggle with grape names like Merlot and Malbec or regions like Bordeaux and Mendoza. Across the country, though, boutique wine merchants and sommeliers are falling hard for Austrian reds. Regular consumers will undoubtedly follow suit. “These last three days have shown me that I don’t need to explain these grape varieties and their styles,” explained wine educator Andreas Wickhoff, founder of a group called the Premium Estates of Austria, during a recent visit to the United States. “Several of the buyers I met have already been tasting these wines. And I think we are slowly gaining momentum, especially in the more premium segment.” Wickhoff, who is one of just 322 people worldwide to have earned the Master of Wine designation, launched the wine consortium in 2004 so that six of his nation’s leading wine producers could share marketing costs and collaborate on promotional efforts. He’s made many trips to the United States since and has seen the market change dramatically. A decade ago, those who knew about Austria’s wines knew about its whites. One third of Austria’s vineyards are planted to Gruner Veltliner, the food-friendly variety that became ubiquitous on restaurant wine lists in the early aughts. Serious oenophiles everywhere have always been fond of the nation’s Riesling. Few consumers knew about the nation’s reds, though. Austria’s climate is quite cool; the nation’s vineyards are located at roughly the same latitude as northern France and southern Germany. Consequently, the wines are stylistically similar to the red wines from those regions — lean and tart rather than heavy and ripe. When Americans think of light wines, they tend to think of whites and rosés. For many consumers, a light red is an oxymoron — reds are supposed to be dark, powerful and served alongside steak. But consumer preferences are changing. More and more Americans are turning to refreshing reds, appreciating that high acidity makes for more gulpable, versatile wines. Americans are also embracing the obscure. These two trends explain why demand for light-bodied reds from regions like Beaujolais, where Gamay is grown, and the Jura, where Poulsard and Trousseau are grown, is surging. And why Austrian reds could soon take off. “Thankfully, people in the United States are very open to new ideas,” Wickhoff continued. “So the acceptance is there. That’s why I think these wines will find more homes over the next years.” Without question, Blaufrankisch is Austria’s all-star red. Spicy, brooding, yet light on its feet, the best offerings demand contemplation, clearly expressing the characteristics of their vintage and the soils and climate in which they’re grown. “I think Blaufrankisch is certainly the grape variety that will find more homes in the next years,” Wickhoff said. “There’s lots of exciting Blaufrankisch coming out of our country — and the grape will please many palates.” While Blaufrankisch is serious, St. Laurent is a perfect fit for a casual barbecue. Like Barbera or light-bodied Zinfandel, it’s deep, but with low tannins and high acid. Zweigelt is, quite literally, a cross of the two. Developed by an Austrian viticulturist in 1922, the workhorse grape is the most widely planted red variety in Austria. Even Wickoff admits that “Zweigelt will probably never be the most complex wine in the world,” but for a crowd-pleasing red, it consistently delivers. No one likes a tongue twister. But even though the names of these varieties are difficult to pronounce, the wines go down easy. David White is the founder and editor of Terroirist.com, which was named “Best Overall Wine Blog” at the 2013 Wine Blog Awards. His columns are housed at Grape Collective.

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46 January 7, 2016

Boulder Weekly


ARIES

MARCH 21-APRIL 19:

astrology

encounters with life in its raw state. Symbolically speaking, this should be a non-umbrella year.

John Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1962. His novel Of Mice LIBRA and Men helped win him SEPT. 23-OCT. 22: the award, but it required Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Around the world, extra persistence. When Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO an average of 26 lanhe’d almost finished the HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE guages go extinct every manuscript, he went out HOROSCOPES. The audio horoscopes year. But it increasingly on a date with his wife. are also available by phone at 1-877appears that Welsh will While they were gone, 873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. not be one of them. It his puppy Toby ripped his has enjoyed a revival in precious pages into conthe past few decades. In fetti. As mad as he was, Wales, it’s taught in many schools, appears on road he didn’t punish the dog, but got busy on a rewrite. Later signs, and is used in some mobile phones and comhe considered the possibility that Toby had served as a puters. Is there a comparable phenomenon in your helpful literary critic. The new edition of Of Mice and Men life, Libra? A tradition that can be revitalized and was Steinbeck’s breakout book. I’m guessing that in recent should be preserved? A part of your heritage that months you have received comparable assistance, Aries — may be useful to your future? A neglected aspect of although you may not realize it was assistance until later your birthright that deserves to be reclaimed? Make this year. it happen in 2016.

TAURUS

APRIL 20-MAY 20:

SCORPIO

GEMINI

Fourrteenth-century author Geoffrey Chaucer produced a collection of stories known as The Canterbury Tales. It became a seminal text of English literature even though he never finished it. The most influential book ever written by theologian Thomas Aquinas was a work he gave up on before it was completed. The artist Michelangelo never found the time to put the final touches on numerous sculptures and paintings. Why am I bringing this theme to your attention? Because 2016 will be an excellent time to wrap up long-term projects you’ve been working on — and also to be at peace with abandoning those you can’t.

Remember back to what your life was like during the first nine months of 2004. I suspect that you fell just short of fulfilling a dream. It’s possible you were too young to have the power you needed. Or maybe you were working on a project that turned out to be pretty good but not great. Maybe you were pushing to create a new life for yourself but weren’t wise enough to make a complete breakthrough. Almost 12 years later, you have returned to a similar phase in your long-term cycle. You are better equipped to do what you couldn’t quite do before: create the masterpiece, finish the job, rise to the next level.

MAY 21-JUNE 20:

To become a skillful singer, you must learn to regulate your breath. You’ve got to take in more oxygen than usual for extended periods, and do it in ways that facilitate rather than interfere with the sounds coming out of your mouth. When you’re beginning, it feels weird to exert so much control over an instinctual impulse, which previously you’ve done unconsciously. Later, you have to get beyond your self-conscious discipline so you can reach a point where the proper breathing happens easily and gracefully. Although you may not be working to become a singer in 2016, Gemini, I think you will have comparable challenges: 1. to make conscious an activity that has been unconscious; 2. to refine and cultivate that activity; 3. to allow your consciously-crafted approach to become unselfconscious again.

OCT. 23-NOV. 21:

SAGITTARIUS NOV. 22-DEC. 21:

A bottle of Chateau Cheval Blanc wine from 1947 sold for $304,000. Three bottles of Chateau Lafite-Rothschild 1869 went for $233,000 apiece. The mystique about aged wine provokes crazy behavior like that. But here’s a more mundane fact: Most wine deteriorates with age, and should be sold within a few years of being bottled. I’m thinking about these things as I meditate on your longterm future, Sagittarius. My guess is that your current labor of love will reach full maturity in the next 18 to 20 months. This will be a time to bring all your concentration and ingenuity to bear on making it as good as it can be. By September of 2017, you will have ripened it as much as it can be ripened.

CANCER

CAPRICORN

Ancient humans didn’t “invent” fire, but rather learned about it from nature and then figured out how to produce it as needed. Ropes had a similar origin. Our ancestors employed long vines made of tough fiber as primitive ropes, and eventually got the idea to braid and knot the vines together for greater strength. This technology was used to hunt, climb, pull, fasten, and carry. It was essential to the development of civilization. I predict that 2016 will bring you opportunities that have metaphorical resemblances to the early rope. Your task will be to develop and embellish on what nature provides.

In her poem “Tree,” California poet Jane Hirshfield speaks of a young redwood tree that’s positioned next to a house. Watch out! It grows fast — as much as three feet per year. “Already the first branch-tips brush at the window,” Hirshfield writes. “Softly, calmly, immensity taps at your life.” I suspect this will be an apt metaphor for you in 2016. The expansion and proliferation you have witnessed these past few months are likely to intensify. That’s mostly good, but may also require adjustments. How will you respond as immensity taps at your life?

LEO

JAN. 20-FEB. 18:

JUNE 21-JULY 22:

JULY 23-AUG. 22:

British author Anthony Trollope (1815-1882) had a day job with the postal service until he was in his fifties. For years he awoke every morning at 5:30 and churned out 2,500 words before heading to work. His goal was to write two or three novels a year, a pace he came close to achieving. “A small daily task, if it really be daily,” he wrote in his autobiography, “will beat the labors of a spasmodic Hercules.” I recommend that you borrow from his strategy in 2016, Leo. Be regular and disciplined and diligent as you practice the art of gradual, incremental success.

VIRGO

AUG. 23-SEPT. 22:

Umbrellas shelter us from the rain, saving us from the discomfort of getting soaked and the embarrassment of bad hair. They also protect us from the blinding light and sweltering heat of the sun. I’m very much in favor of these practical perks. But when umbrellas appear in your nightly dreams, they may have a less positive meaning. They can indicate an inclination to shield yourself from natural forces, or to avoid direct contact with primal sensuality. I hope you won’t do much of that in 2016. In my opinion, you need a lot of face-to-face

Boulder Weekly

DEC. 22-JAN. 19:

AQUARIUS

Centuries ago, lettuce was a bitter, prickly weed that no one ate. But ancient Egyptians guessed its potential, and used selective breeding to gradually convert it into a tasty food. I see 2016 as a time when you could have a comparable success. Look around at your life, and identify weed-like things that could, through your transformative magic, be turned into valuable assets. The process may take longer than a year, but you can set in motion an unstoppable momentum that will ensure success.

PISCES

FEB. 19-MARCH 20:

Imagine that a beloved elder has been writing down your life story in the form of a fairy tale. Your adventures aren’t rendered literally, as your waking mind might describe them, but rather through dream-like scenes that have symbolic resonance. With this as our template, I’ll predict a key plot development of 2016: You will grow increasingly curious about a “forbidden” door — a door you have always believed should not be opened. Your inquisitiveness will reach such an intensity that you will consider locating the key for that door. If it’s not available, you may even think about breaking down the door.

January 7, 2016 47


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Boulder Weekly


Dear Dan: I’m a 29-year-old gay trans man. On female hormones, I took a long time to come and usually wouldn’t come at all. I always enjoyed sex; I just wasn’t focused on coming. My partners would or wouldn’t, depending on their preferences. Since starting testosterone a few years ago, I now come quickly and easily. (Sometimes too quickly and easily.) My problem is that after I come, like most men, I’m done with sex. And the stronger the orgasm, the truer this is. A while ago, after a really fun time, I woke to find that I’d accidentally fallen asleep and left my longtime hookup buddy to fend for himself. Other times, I’m just tired and/or turned off. I definitely don’t want anyone inside me (it hurts), and while I’ve tried mustering enthusiasm for blowjobs, hand jobs, etc., my attempts come across as pretty tepid. So in the context of both ongoing relationships of various sorts and hookups, what’s the etiquette? I’ve found myself just avoiding things that’ll push me to come, because I don’t want to be rude. And since I’ve always enjoyed sex without orgasms, this doesn’t bother me mostly. But once in a while, I would like to come. How can I do this and still take care of the other guy? — Not Good At Sexy Abbreviations

SAVAGE by Dan Savage

Dear NGASA: Use your words, NGASA: “If it’s not a problem, I’d rather come after you do — my refractory period kicks in hard when I come and, like other men, I briefly lose interest in sex. On top of that, I’m a terrible actor. So let’s make you come first or let’s try to come at the same time, okay?” Dear Dan: My wife and I are bisexual — we’re a man and woman — and we’ve been tiptoeing right up to the edge of organizing a threesome or swap through 3nder. But we haven’t gone through with it yet — too many flakes and fakes. But we have no complaints — just contemplating a threesome has put amazing energy back into our sex life. Is there a name for the explosive sex you have with your longtime partner when you’re anticipating a group scene or threesome? If not, can we suggest the neologism “presome”? Rhymes with threesome! — Married With Anticipated High Jink

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Dear MWAHJ: The phenomenon you describe — the insanely hot sex a couple has before a threesome or other sexual adventure — has been noted by sex researchers and couples counselors. Dr. Margie Nichols, a psychologist and sex therapist, told the New York Times she frequently urges the non-kinky couples she sees to emulate kinky couples. “Kinky couples plan sex,” Nichols told Amy Sohn, “and simmer for days in advance.” Many couples in the planning stages of a threesome do a lot more than simmer: Like you and the wife, MWAHJ, they find themselves having hot twosomes in anticipation of the impending (and hopefully hot) threesome. I think “presome” is a wonderful term to describe that kind of sex — I’m officially endorsing your proposed neologism — but I don’t think it works as well for four-way swaps, group sex, BDSM play parties, etc., because it obviously rhymes with/riffs on “threesome.” But it’s an excellent term to describe the situation

you and the wife are in. To describe the sex you’ll have in the wake of your first successful threesome, I would propose the term “postsome.” Dear Dan: I thought your advice to SCRAPE, the guy whose penis was suffering due to his girlfriend’s shaved-butstubbly labia, was spot-on — except in regards to waxing. As both a former professional waxer and a woman with very coarse pubic hair, I hope you don’t mind if I correct you: Waxed hair does not grow back as prickly as shaved hair. The hair follicle tapers from its root. When shaved, it is cut straight across at its thickest point. The hair, as it grows, continues to grow from there. When waxed, the hair is removed at its root, and a new hair will grow intact, with the softer taper. I cannot shave without extreme discomfort during regrowth (like needles in my undies!). SCRAPE’s girlfriend’s post-wax stubble may still be too uncomfortable for him, but it will doubtless be an improvement. Honestly, I’d be amazed if she’s not currently in more pain than he is! — Smooth Moves Dear SM: Thanks for sharing, SM. Send questions to mail@savagelove.net and follow @fakedansavage on Twitter

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January 7, 2016 49



EEDBETWEENTHELINES

by Sarah Haas

Risky Business, Part 1: Banking in the marijuana industry Courtesy of Jane

F

or a bank, analyzing the risk of onboarding a cannabis business as a client is complicated. The legal marijuana industry is emerging and comes with its share of immaturities — the lack of historical data makes it difficult to study the past or predict the future of the market. This is also what makes it so attractive. Among the fastest growing industries in the country, a bank that can successfully onboard marijuana accounts stands to prosper tomorrow from what is risky business today. At the helm of the new marijuana industry are new businesses and business owners that, without the option to bank, operate beyond the traditional economic structure. They are allowed to deal in U.S. tender, accepting, spending and saving cash, but without a formal banking system many businesses struggle to document a chain of custody for their money, making it difficult for them to pay bills, taxes or attract investors and banks. Even though the U.S. Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Network (FinCEN) has guidelines saying that they will no longer crack down on marijuana financial services, most bank boards are skeptical and wary of lingering liability. Banks that do want to work with the industry are further challenged to find ways to onboard clients without documentation, creating a chicken-and-egg situation — do businesses become less risky and in so doing get banking services or do banking services take on marijuana business thus making business in cannabis less risky? Even if banks are willing to take on traditional risks, they are not likely comfortable with the additional regulatory risks that come with an industry that is still operating illegally in the eyes of the federal government. While banking regulators do not prohibit banking with cannabis businesses, they are saying to do it cautiously. In 2013, when then Deputy Attorney General James M. Cole issued a memo establishing the priori-

Boulder Weekly

Jane CEO, David Ellerstein, standing next to a kiosk that he hopes will bridge the gap between cannabis retailers and traditional banking.

ties for enforcement of marijuana as an illegal substance, banking emerged as a key institution to monitoring and preventing illegal activity. FinCEN thus published guidelines for banking with cannabis. In order to guard against the perceived or actual improprieties of the industry, regulators added layers of diligence to the process. In addition to checks already in place, like Currency Transaction Reports for large cash deposits and Suspicious Activity Reports for deposits with a suspected association with illegal activity, the bank must issue Marijuana Limited Reports and continuously track each cannabis client’s activity.

With or without that federal guidance, banks that do business on a national level are so far unwilling to take the risk of engaging in interstate commerce with federally illegal marijuana businesses which is opening the door for smaller state banks where marijuana is legalized to get into the space. The risks and expenses that they take on today could become their competitive advantage tomorrow. To do it right, the small banks and the cannabis retailers must figure out how to establish a solid chain of custody for cash — to transparently document that the chicken and the egg, in this case responsible business cash management and banking, coexist. Jane, a Denver-based company, thinks that it has found a way to bridge the gap that improves business for the retailer, reduces their risk and establishes the chain of custody that banks and regulators need. The solution, according to Jane, lies in a full-service, self-service kiosk that runs like a self-checkout unit you might find in a grocery store, but with the sophisticated cash management of a banking ATM. With the technology, a customer could pre-order on an app or order their marijuana in store on the kiosk, pay for their order by inserting cash into the machine and pick up their product from a budtender. Meanwhile, the kiosk documents each transaction to a unique order number and keeps the cash secure until it undergoes its only change of hands from the retailer to the bank. Once at the bank, the deposit is accompanied with a reconciliation report, connecting each penny to a transaction in a way that is comprehensible to the bank. Federal banking regulations, the banking industry and the marijuana industry are stuck between the immaturities of a nascent industry and confronting similarly feeble legal and regulatory environments. By putting processes in place that a banker can embrace, entrepreneurial companies like Jane hope to mitigate the risk for both sides and help steward in a less risky era of business in cannabis.

January 7, 2016 51


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52 January 7, 2016

Boulder Weekly


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(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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NEW DIET TO START THE YEAR

What if we told you there was a way to start the new year off right with a brand new, 100 percent effective diet that lets you eat all the fast food you want? You’d come down to our office with a welding torch and ask for the head of whomever wrote such a silly statement, wouldn’t you? Well put down your blowtorch, Carl, because we’re not lying. The diet is called “The Eating at Chipotle Diet,” and more and more people are seeing the light of this new diet and are speaking out about it. “I lost so much weight I nearly died,” said a single mother of four. “I just kept eating burritos, and then I blacked out for about two months, and now I’m as fit as I was in middle school,” said Step by Step actor Patrick Duffy. The diet works like this: You eat as much Chipotle food as you want and secret magic nutrients called “E. coli” and “norovirus” turn your intestinal system into a real-life, high stakes game of Chutes and Ladders, reducing your body’s ability to digest food and pesky calories. The Chipotle Diet is even recognized by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration as a “food-borne illness” that is under “investigation,” and requested a “broad range of documents” from the company in a “grand jury subpoena” to see just how they’re getting such fabulous results.

REPUBLICANS ANGRY BECAUSE OBAMA WANTS TO PROTECT CHILDREN AND CHRISTIANS

Even when President Obama publically weeps about the deaths of first graders and Christians, Republicans still label him a “petulant child” who only seeks to tighten gun control laws to get what he wants. Well, it was specifically New Jersey Governor Chris Christie who called Obama a “petulant child,” because calling people “children” seems to be Christie’s favorite put down. In January 2015, Christie criticized local media in New Jersey for acting “like children” after various media outlets reported that the governor invited five national outlets behind closed doors for an off-the-record briefing on his State of the State address. And honestly, how dare those journalists try to do their jobs? Children, indeed! But Christie wasn’t the only Republican from this cesspool of candidates to feel enraged that Obama would give a damn about the lives of the very groups the GOP purports to protect. While the President’s executive action will in no way change the fundamental nature of the Second Amendment, The Donald told attendees at his rally in Biloxi, Mississippi, on Jan. 2 that, “We’re not changing the Second Amendment.” That’s right, Donald — we’re not changing it. Good job! He also added, quite articulately, might we add, “I will veto that. I will un-sign that so fast.” You unsign that nasty executive order that protects innocent people and religious freedom, Donald. You unsign that. So. Fast. Jeb Bush said that Obama has “a pattern of taking away rights of citizens.” We wonder if he felt hypocritical saying that as a man that will forever be known for disenfranchising thousands of black Florida voters during the 2000 election and the Supreme Court battle that ultimately put his brother George Dubbya Bush in the White House. If weeping over dead children and Christians still elicits the ire of these Republicans, it’s clear guns matter more than people. God bless America. Boulder Weekly

January 7, 2016 53


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