February 2015 by Bob Jnr

Puzzles What’s On Garden Editorial Recipes Advertise

Your Free Local Magazine & Directory

February 2015

Your Local Dessy Retailer For all your Prom, Bridesmaid and Evening Wear Dresses. We have over 100 styles in our sample collection and we have just taken delivery of a new selection of Dessy’s 2014 styles. Go to Dessy website www.dessy.com/bridesmaid-dresses All dresses purchased from us are altered free of charge. There will be a charge for alterations on dresses not purchased from us and dresses in the sale.

Ex sample dresses, normally retailing at £250 now on sale at £20-£30 Call us on 0161 653 9898 or email us at : atofe@hotmail .co.uk Our opening times Mon ,Tue , Thur & Fri : 9-30am - 5-00pm Sat 9-30 - 4-00pm, We are closed on Wednesday & Sunday

62 Mount Rd, Alkrington, Middleton, M24 1DZ

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Welcome Welcome to the February Issue of

Alkrington Life

Contents Puzzles

Welcome to a New Year and a new edition of Alkington Life! I hope that 2015 has been good to you so far and that you are wrapping up cosy and warm on these snowy days.

What’s On

February is a very busy month with lots of dates for your Alkrington Life calendar ! Don’t forget Valentine’s Day on Saturday 14th, Pancake Day on Tuesday 17th and Chinese New Year on Thursday 19th.

Editorial

Library

Editorial

Recipes

If you are finding it difficult to stick to your New Year’s resolutions, turn to page 34 for some motivation from Monty !

Website

Best Wishes for February

Advertise

Clare PS: Well Done to Yvette Stevens who won a bottle of Chateauneuf Du Pape in our Christmas Competition

Numbers Index

62 16 22 36 56 28 48 54 60 66

Like us... facebook.com/alkringtonlife Follow us... @AlkringtonLife Browse our arhives... Issuu.com/bobjnr Find us online... alkringtonlife.com Archive of past magazines Directory of advertisers (coming very soon) What’s On calendar Puzzle answers Advertising information

Advert 67 x 93

ALKRINGTON LIFE does not accept responsibility for the products or services advertised in this magazine.

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ALKRINGTON VACUUM CLEANER SERVICES The Cleaning Equipment Experts Vacs, Shampooers, Pressure Washers

DYSON SPECIALISTS

7 days a week 48 Hr Service Free Estimate & pick up service Give Rob a call for an immediate response

0161-654-9766 07962-219359 5 Warwick Close, Alkrington email: avcs44@hotmail.com

We have many years experience in the SMART Repair Business.

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STEVE - 07792 220 023 MARTIN - 07875 393 364 OR EMAIL ENQUIRIES TO : s-marthomedesign@outlook.com

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Locked Out? Need New Keys? Need New Locks Fitted? Need Repairs?

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LOCAL MOBILE LOCKSMITH

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PHIL CLEATON

www.localmobilelocksmith.co.uk

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STAR CLEANING SERVICES 1/2 PRICE SPECIAL OFFER CARPETS

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Also leather suites cleaned on request Phone Kev now on 0161 653 3830 Mobile: 07867 - 655535 Fully insured, police vetted, satisfaction guaranteed

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What’s On Tea Dance Every Monday 1pm - 3.30pm An afternoon of sequence dancing. Heywood Civic Centre, Church Street (Price £2.40 or £2.10 with PTL) 0300 303 8399

Aerobics Every Tuesday 5..30pm - 6.15pm This fun fitness class uses moves to music, perfect for raising your heart rate and burning fat. Ideal for those who wish to improve fitness levels and lose weight. Chadderton Wellbeing Centre, Burnley St. (Price £2.80 - £5.65) 0161 207 7000

Yoga Every Wednesday 12.30pm - 1.15pm This class is ideal for all fitness levels and helps to improve posture and flexibility, strengthen the whole body and keep your mind in tune with your body. Chadderton Wellbeing Centre, Burnley St. (Price £6.10) 0161 207 7000

Creative Writing Group First Thursday of the month 2pm - 3.30pm Now independently constituted, the Touchstones Creative Writing Group meets monthly to encourage and promote creative writing. Encouraging positive health and well-being benefits, the group welcomes new members both would-be and existing writers, to join in. Sessions are led by Norman Warwick, Just Poets. Touchstones, The Esplanade, Rochdale (FREE) 01706 924 492

Go Baby! Every Thursday (term time) It's time for babies to 'take over' Gallery Oldham. Explore textures, noises and objects related to our current exhibitions. 10.30–11.15: Non-walkers 11.30–12.15: Walkers Gallery Oldham, Greaves Street (FREE) 0161 770 4643

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Forever Young 4th - 21st March (7.30pm + wed/sat matinees) Prepare for a musical like no other. Forever Young is set in a particularly theatrical nursing home for actors, with a group of pensionable performers determined to prove that it’s not all behind them. Showing that they’re still limber enough to perform panto routines and belt out songs from the likes of Nirvana to Aqua, this surreal slapstick filled musical comedy promises to be a night out to remember. Filled with octogenarian spirit, Forever Young gives you a lesson in how to grow old disgracefully. Oldham Coliseum (Tickets £5- £19.50) 0161 624 2829

Toy & Train Collectors Fair

Holiday Fun at Gallery Oldham

10th February (7 - 9pm) For stall hire please ring Brian Marshall on 07751 613640. Early entry at 4.30pm. Heywood Civic Centre, Church Street (Tickets £1 - £4) 0300 303 8399

16th - 18th February (1 - 4pm) Face painting and craft activities at each session. Most suitable for ages 4–10 years. Children must be accompanied by an adult for all family activities. Gallery Oldham, Greaves Street FREE (face painting £2) 0161 770 4643

King of Pop : Navi 13th February (8pm) This superb production stars 'Navi' who is officially recognised as the world's No.1 MJ impersonator. He is also the only tribute ever to be chosen by Michael Jackson himself. Don't miss King Of Pop, as Navi brilliantly recreates all the magical classics from the early Jackson 5 songs to mega-hits such as Thriller and Smooth Criminal in a night out the whole family will enjoy. Middleton Arena, Corporation Street (Tickets £10 - £16) 0844 855 4020

Live American Wrestling 14th February (7.30pm) A fantastic family show for all to enjoy. Cheer the Good Guys - Boo the Bad Guys. All action family night - as seen on TV throughout the world. Middleton Arena, Corporation Street (Tickets £10 - £12) 0844 855 4020

The Clone Roses 27th February (8pm) The Clone Roses plus guest DJ Clint Boon of Inspiral Carpets and support from Carjack Malone. Middleton Arena, Corporation Street (Tickets £13.50) 0844 855 4020

Soul and Motown Night 28th February (8pm - 1.30am) Excellent dance floor, superb sound system, 350 capacity, 60's, 70's and 80's sounds of Motown, Stax and Atlantic plus a bit of Mod beat for good measure. The best Motown DJ's in the North West providing all your Soul needs. Friendly atmosphere with licensed bar till late. Heywood Civic Centre, Church Street (Entrance £6 on the door)

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On Sunday 22nd March Time: 11am - 3pm At Alkrington Community Centre, Kirkway, Alkrington Over 20 stalls all selling something that little bit different for your loved ones this Spring. Stalls include Jewellery & Accessories, Candles, Vintage Clothing, Shabby Chic Home Decor, Confectionery, Cards and lots more.

Free Entry - Everyone Welcome !

Are you ready to party yourself into shape?

Classes with Simone... Mondays 10am

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Alkrington Community Centre Hardfield Road Alkrington

Mondays 7.30pm The Jumbo Social Centre Grimshaw Lane Middleton

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David Briggs Your Local Professional Painter & Decorator

Bringing high quality decorating to your home or business. Tel: 0161 654 8436 Mob:

07930 871 066

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“Understanding Your Financial Needs” Welcome to Middleton Accountancy Services, a small firm of Chartered Accountants based in Middleton. Our experienced team of chartered accountants offer a friendly service with a modern approach dedicated to managing your accounts, minimising your tax and providing expert business advice. We provide services tailored to suit your needs that can transform all on a fixed-fee basis with no hidden charges. “Our priority and focus is always our clients” Michael Brookes F.C.A. Middleton Accountancy Services Harewood House, 2-6 Rochdale Rd, Middleton M24 6DP

Tel: 0161 654 8626 Mob: 07870 601 806 middletonaccountancyservices.co.uk

Sole trader accounts Business accounts Personal tax Corporation tax VAT Bookkeeping Payroll Company formations Business plans Bankruptcy Liquidation advice

Specialist/business advice

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Salon280

280 Grimshaw Lane Middleton Manchester Opening Hours Monday 9-5 Tuesday 9-5 Wednesday 9-6 Thursday 9-7 Friday 9-7 Saturday 8-5 Hair by Siobhan, Kellie & Jade Beauty by Kerrie

BRAZILIAN BLOW DRY

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Library News

Alkrington Library news Computer basics Need a little help getting started with computers and the internet? If so, the library is the place to be! We have trained volunteers to assist you in using Learn My Way, a free, basic computer course, to help you gain the skills and confidence you need to start using a mouse and keyboard, search online, send emails, etc. Whether you’re looking to develop internet skills for a new job or simply to save time and money by using the internet to pay your bills, for example, Learn My Way can help you get the skills you need to get online. Sessions are held at Alkrington Library on Thursday and Friday mornings. Places are limited so call in or ring the library to reserve your place.

Time for a Cuppa On Monday 2nd March from 2.30pm, we will be holding a ‘Time for a Cuppa’ afternoon in aid of Dementia UK. Pop in to the library for a cuppa, a cake and a chat in exchange for a small donation. Dementia UK is committed to improving the quality of life for all people affected by dementia. Their Admiral Nurses provide unique practical and emotional care and support for family carers as well as the person with dementia. All proceeds raised from this event will be going to Dementia UK to help them carry on supporting families. We look forward to seeing you there!

Other library activities Family History surgery – Monthly on Mondays 2-4pm Under-fives storytime – Thursdays 2 -2:45pm term time only Knit & natter – Fortnightly on Mondays 2-3.30pm Reading group – Monthly on Mondays 6-7pm

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Rochdale Literature & Ideas Festival. Do you enjoy singing in a choir? Perhaps you and a group of friends or colleagues like a friendly challenge? We are looking for groups of people, children or adults, who enjoy singing to learn a lullaby, with the ultimate aim to perform as part of a pop- up choir/flash mob at the 2015 Rochdale Literature and Ideas Festival. The newlyccmmissioned work is called “Lullaby for the Lost” and has been especially commissioned by Rochdale Borough Libraries as part of the Digital War Memorial Project and Chance Media will be putting the piece together. Anyone interested should contact Ray Stearn on 01706 924972 or ray.stearn@rochdale.gov.uk

E-books Rochdale Libraries have now increased their catalogue of reading material with the inclusion of thousands of eBooks. Users will now be able to download the latest titles from many different genres direct to their digital reader. Ipads, smartphones, tablets and PC’s are just some of the many devices that can be used, with the added advantage of no late return fees – the books return themselves! Rochdale Libraries eBooks can be accessed online by all those who are members of the library service. Call in to the library to find out more.

February half term Looking for something to do during half term? Why not book your child on to our popular writing workshop on Friday 20 th February 2-3pm? The theme for this workshop is Alice in Wonderland and the children will be analysing poems from the book and making their own comic strips in relation to the main characters of the story! The sessions are aimed at 6-9 year olds. You can book a place with a member of staff in the library or on the number below. For more details on anything regarding Alkrington Library, please contact the library on 0161 643 7799 during library opening hours. You can also email Alkrington.library@rochdale.gov.uk For book renewals please ring 0300 303 8876 Monday-Friday 8.00 a.m. – 8.00 p.m., Saturday 9.00 a.m. – 5.00 p.m.

www.facebook.com/RochdaleBoroughLibraries

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TEMPERLEY TAYLOR LLP Durham House, Warwick Court, Park Road, Middleton, Manchester M24 1AE.

Wills & Estate Planning General advice for elderly clients... Home visits can be arranged

Conveyancing Energy Performance Certificates Businesses Employment Accidents - NO WIN - NO FEE

Specialists in all aspects of Family Law www.temperleytaylor.co.uk Tel: 0161 643 2411

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Fax: 0161 655 3015

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Your Local Handyman GUTTER & WINDOW FRAMES CLEANED PAINTING POINTING GARDENS TIDIED FLAT PACK FURNITURE ASSEMBLY RADIATORS BLED REPLACEMENT OF LIGHT BULBS TAP WASHERS REPLACED

NO JOB TOO SMALL FOR A FREE QUOTATION CALL ANDREW JONES 07955 191 871

811, Manchester Old Road, Rhodes, Middleton. Tel: 0161 643 4676 WELCOME TO THE EDGE HAIR & BEAUTY SALON

Specialists in Cutting & Colouring Over 20 Years Experience also offering Express Lashes Shellac Nails from £15 St. Tropez 1 Hour Tan £20 Mon, Tue, Wed 8.30 am - 5 pm Thurs & Friday 8.30 am - 8 pm Saturday 8 am - 5 pm

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Recipes

Chicken Korma Korma is the mildest of the traditional North Indian curries; delicate spices, almonds and cream suit even the most sensitive of palates. Delicious accompanied by pilau rice or a naan bread. Serves 4.

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The LOFT Cafe Come along and relax in The Loft Café away from the hustle and bustle of the day. A family run café on the balcony of Middleton Shopping Centre. (Up the stairs outside Spec Saver and The Card Factory). We serve delicious freshly cooked hot meals and snacks all day - all served by our friendly and helpful staff (two of them are our daughters!). If you just want a drink, we have just the thing. Freshly brewed Lavazza coffee, tea, fruit teas, hot chocolate, milkshakes, fruit juices and canned drinks. We also have some tempting sweet treats and our fantastic value slice of cake and a drink deal for only £2.50!

We’re open seven days a week (Monday-Saturday 9am-4pm and Sunday 10am-3pm) We also host regular meetings of the Rochdale Circle and church groups, so if you run any sort of social group, why not meet in The Loft? There’s plenty of room and we’ll even reserve tables for you if you give us a little notice. 1st Floor, Middleton Shopping Centre, Middleton M24 4EL Tel: 07730 051088 Find us on Face Book : The Loft Cafe, Middleton

How do you eat yours? Over the years I’ve tried my pancakes with fruit, maple syrup, and a variety of savoury fillings, but I keep coming back to fresh lemon juice and a sprinkling of sugar...irresistible. Here is my own recipe for perfect pancakes. Ingredients

115g (4oz) plain flour Pinch salt 1 large egg 285ml (half a pint of milk) 115g (4oz) butter, melted Juice from 2 lemons, strained Caster or Demerara sugar to taste. To make the batter: sift the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl and make a well in the centre. Beat in the egg and a little of the milk until smooth. Gradually beat in the remaining

milk and add 4 tablespoons of the melted butter. Cover the bowl and leave to stand for one hour.

In a small non-stick frying pan heat some of the butter until sizzling, but taking care not to let it burn. Pour enough batter into the pan to coat the base evenly. Cook over a moderate heat until the pancake is light golden brown underneath and looks dry on top. Flip over (try to do this with style!) and cook the other side until golden. Continue until all the batter is used. The recipe should make 10-12 pancakes. You can keep the pancakes warm in the oven (Gas mark 1 / 140C) until they are all cooked, but in our house they’re barely out the frying pan before they’re scoffed. Serve with the lemon juice and sugar...Enjoy!

By Sarah Davey

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High IQ

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Friendly Professional Service Bespoke Curtain Designs Swags & Tails, Eyelets Poles & Tracks Blinds - Vertical, Horizontal, Roman Upholstery & Pelmets Complete Fitting Service FREE Home Consultation Displays at GSG Carpet Factory, Queensway, Rochdale

TEL: 01706 654 996 Mob: 07737 510 529 30

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For all your laundry requirements... DRY CLEANING

FOOTBALL / SPORTS KITS RUG CLEANING WEDDING DRESS CLEANING DUVET CLEANING LAUNDRY SERVICE SPECIALIST CURTAIN CLEANING ALTERATIONS IRONING Opening Hours Monday 9am - 5.30pm Tuesday 9am - 5.30pm Wednesday 9am - 5.30pm Thursday 9am - 7pm Friday 9am - 5.30pm Saturday 9am - 1.30pm

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MONTY’S FITNESS UNCOVER THE SECRET TO A NEW YOU IN THE NEW YEAR…. Planning Your New Year’s Resolutions? I hate to break it to you, but they probably won’t stick. Many of our resolutions don’t work as they are too broad or simply too ambitious. We may start the year off with the best of intentions to eat healthier, drink less alcohol and go to the gym but if we don’t have a real plan of action after a few weeks, our resolutions fail our expectations. We give up and never get the results we want! What’s the secret to sticking with your resolutions? Change the word “resolution” to “real solution”. Resolutions are fine if you want to announce your intentions to the world, but real solutions are action based and give results. Exercise alone won’t equate to fat loss for example, neither will going on a fad diet. Yes they may help you to lose weight initially but in the long term your body often ends up piling it back on, plus more. So how do you break this cycle? If you didn’t achieve your health & fitness goals in 2014, don’t worry there’s still time to make 2015 a great year. First of all, you have to pinpoint the problem and then your next step is to create an action plan that starts you on the path towards your goals. The first 30 days are the most important it’s imperative to stick to the program and complete your first goal like Monty’s FIT30 day challenge completing this will increase your success rate by 60-70% 1. Real – solution, this year try a different approach. Seek a solution versus resolution, a solid action plan versus an overwhelming intention… 2. New Year’s re-solutions the goal you set and the action plan you create make it manageable, first start with a 30 day plan, but continue your goal to make a lifestyle change. 3. Big goal in mind Sometimes it’s the littlest things that make the biggest impact accomplishing small successes will keep you motivated, as too many people quit because the goal is too big and requires too much effort and action all at once. 4.Time - most people are not action takers they’re spectators it’s imperative to eliminate all objections - time is not a problem, scheduling is. So plan, take action start and feel amazing to finish. It’s not how you start its how you finish. Finally - for amazing results join a program that will give you the support you need and the body shape you’ve always wanted. Join MONTY’S FIT30 PROGRAM have fun and go easy on yourself if you slip, but don't let the slip hold you back, always have the end in mind - the results will be worth all the effort.

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Editorial

What Back to the Future pt. 2 promised 2015 would bring 2015 is here, and who would have guessed it, we still need roads. See what other predictions the 1989 film made for 2015, and how close they actually were to the reality.

Hoverboards If you thought the Segway was good, Mattel created a wheel-free skateboard that floats on air… at least they did for the film. In fact, the closest they came in real life was a full-size plastic replica complete with hover sound effects; all yours for a little over £200. As tempting as that is, you might be more interested in the real thing. Hendo Hover (a Kickstarter funded project) have prototyped the real McCoy; a board that glides 1 inch off the ground using electromagnetic fields. The only catch is, that ground has to be metal. A step in the right direction at least, and it’s recently been tested by Tony Hawk. hendohover.com

Flying Cars Congestion and rough road surfaces should have been a thing of the past by now, with flying cars and motorways in the sky. Not sure whether Zemekis entirely thought this one though; driving lessons alone would cost thousands, not to mention car insurance bills. Whoa! Believe it or not, there are flying cars going back as early as the 40s. Built, tested and used, they were less flying cars, than cars with attachable wings; however modern prototypes are much more versatile, but with Jaws 19 the lack of a miniature airfield at the end of every They reached 4… somehow. (5, including straight to street, it may be a while before flying around town is a video “Cruel Jaws”) reality.

Food Hydrators Marty’s Mother is seen placing a miniature pizza in a Black & Decker Hydrator and then removing a fully cooked family-size. Even if this was possible, it is unlikely that any TV advert could make a rehydrated pizza look appetising.

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Phone Glasses Google Glass has been internationally mocked for its clumsy looking design and lack of usability, but the new -fangled contraption that Marty’s kids can be seen wearing in the film look worse than some of the parody versions of the Glass. However, if Google fail to make the Glass work in its current form, there could be a market for them to develop it into a clunky plastic

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replica of the film version… maybe that’s how the Mattel Hoverboard started. Robotic Dog Walkers This one was pretty stupid. Not only are you asking for your dog to be stolen, but the robot too; and that’s before you even start debating the technology. Pepsi Perfect There’s no sign of Pepsi releasing a vitamin-enriched cola drink as of yet, but with so many varieties having been released over the years, they’d sure be missing a trick by -at the very least- not releasing a special edition bottle, but only time will tell.

Power Laces The styling won’t be to everybody’s taste, but the tech is certainly impressive… Marty’s Nike MAGs are synonymous with the Back to the Future franchise, yet Nike waited over 20 years before releasing a nonworking replica of the trainers. 1510 pairs were sold in 2011 for up to whopping £6500 each, raising over £3m (with a further £3m matched by Google cofounder Sergey Brin) for The Michael J Fox Foundation

in aid of Parkinson’s disease. Nike aren’t stopping there though; in 2010 they patented their own auto-lacing system and are confident they will release their first fully-working power-laced trainers in 2015… coincidence? Surprisingly, Back to the Future Part 2’s perception of 2015 wasn’t as bizarre as once thought. Apart from some of the outrageous fashion and décor, a lot of the technology is here; Skype; biometric readers; home automation; and the rest is either in development or not worth inventing. …and if you haven’t seen the trilogy, it is worth a watch, at the very least to see a naive 80s vision of today.

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39 39

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Made, Supplied, Fitted and Maintained. We can repair your Electric Gates

24 hour Call Out Service

Ask to view Electric Gates in operation we have made and installed in the area.

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Over 30 years experience All types of interior plastering

All work is guaranteed Please call 0161 654 0582 Or 07751 256 616 To arrange your free estimate 44 Moss Lane, Alkrington

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ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED

MANUFACTURING UPHOLSTERERS

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Contact us for a free no obligation consultation Teresa.Bianchi@bianchiaccountants.co.uk www.bianchiaccountants.co.uk 07779 716 663

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R CULLEN Painting & Decorating Over 25 years experience Locally based High quality decorating Interior and exterior work Free quotes Competitive prices

BOOST YOUR POCKET MONEY AND PENSION – A Winner’s Guide to Buy-To-Let Investment by BILL KEETH

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Beverley Calvert

M. Inst. Ch. P. HPC Registered Chiropodist

Gentle & Efficient Chiropody in the comfort of your own home. Tel: 0161 653 9811 Mobile: 07748 562 937 48

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Repairs & Upgrades Storm Damaged TV Wall Mounting Extra TV & Satellite Points DAB Radio Aerials Telephone Extensions

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46 Warwick Road Alkrington, Middleton

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DPL BRICKWORK BUILDING & MAINTENANCE EXTENSIONS CONSERVATORIES

POINTING GARDEN WALLS DRIVEWAYS

PATIOS PORTFOLIO OF WORK AVAILABLE

FREE ESTIMATES & ADVICE

Tel: 0161 653 4347 Mob: 07745 636 556

ALL PLUMBING WORK UNDERTAKEN ALL WORK GUARANTEED

NO CALL OUT CHARGE

Emergency Leaks & Burst Pipes No Problem!

Bathrooms Radiators Showers Repairs Maintenance Electrical Work Kitchens Sinks Free Quotes Competitive Prices

7 Days A Week

Home Drive, Alkrington, Middleton Manchester M24 1NB

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Painters & Decorators Interior & Exterior Telephone: 0161 653 8044 07880 721 479 13 Kingsway, Alkrington Middleton, Manchester M24 1LR

Extensions Conservatories Porches Garden Walls General Maintenance & Repairs

Free Quotations:

07702 565 876 info@a-d-brickwork.co.uk www.a-d-brickwork.co.uk

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Golden Key Club

Catering for the Over 50â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s We meet on Wednesdays at Alkrington Community Centre 2pm - 4pm

Talks, Bingo, Trips & Holidays Refreshments All Welcome.

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SHOPPING ON eBAY [PART 1: BUYING] Bill Keeth gets hold of a bargain or two I know there are fogies young and old out there who have so far succeeded in avoiding all contact with the internet. (Not unlike myself, I do admit– until, that is, She Who Holds the Casting Vote at My Present Address forbade me to drag a succession of Olivetti typewriter ribbons into the new Wooden garden gate, Millennium with me.) In which case, there are, I suppose, MADE TO ANY SIZE younger fogies for whom the initials “PC” still mean YOU NEED - 6ft gate “politically correct” Just as there are some of an older £39.45 + £15.95 postage generation (Silver Surfers, manqués, shall we say?) for whom these same initials will ever be an abbreviation for “police constable”. Well, fair play to them, I say. Because dulce et decorem it most certainly is to stand firm against the zeitgeist – the spirit of the age, which would X Factor every civilised instinct out of us, if only we’d let it. Notwithstanding which, I do sincerely recommend to such stalwarts as these the tentative acquisition of a personal computer, if only to access

a) the undoubted convenience of corresponding with friends by e-mail; b) much more presentable study notes and missives via Word; and c) advantageous shopping via the internet. To my mind, the internet is the biggest leveller since the Colt 45. Well, certainly with regard to commercial transactions, it is. Because it tends to bring all shoppers up (or down) to the same level.

For instance, there was a time in the not so distant past when the prospect of shopping at Fortnum and Mason’s would have necessitated the wearing of formal street clothes. On the other hand, enquiries at Evans’s Scrap Yard on Elizabeth Street, Cheetham, concerning a replacement gearbox for your frog-eyed Sprite would have seen you venturing forth unshaven in your gardening gear and loading your enquiries with a barrage of – well, let’s call it effluent language. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been taken seriously at either emporium, would you? The toff would have been ripped off at Evans’s; and the scruff would have been thrown out of Fortnum’s on his ear. Yet here am I this very morning, sitting at my PC in M24, unkempt, unshowered and unshaven, in a string vest and carpet slippers, trawling the internet for

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Oh, the location and the carpet slippers are real enough. But the other items are stage properties, dreamed up to illustrate a point I’m keen to make. That is to say, I might very easily be shopping in my underwear. Because I do shop on the internet – and regularly. For one thing, it’s easy to do so; and, secondly it can prove to be amazingly cheap. I use eBay and Amazon in the main, and I’ll usually be shopping for books, household fixtures, 45-inch vinyl singles, DVDs, and music cassettes. Yeah, music cassettes. (I said “old fogies”, didn’t I?) Having said which, value for money is what I get from eBay when shopping in order to refurbish buy-to-let properties. Accordingly, I recently put a dent in my bank balance in trawling eBay for household bargains for my most recent acquisition, though not as unconscionable a dent as Wickes and B&Q would have caused. (Check out my shopping list below. All items are new and, except in two instances, the price includes delivery.) a) 60cm stainless steel gas hob – £ 54.00 (B&Q – £150) b) 1200mm X 500mm chrome towel rail/radiator – £ 49.00 (B&Q – £75) c) pair of modern quarter turn chrome basin taps £ 24.95 (B&Q – £77) d) twin lever spout chrome kitchen tap — £ 14.75 (Wickes – £50) e) chrome, quarter turn, shower mixer taps – £ 28.99 (Wickes – £110) Plus two items I had to collect: 60cm Baumatic s/s visor extractor fan – £45.00 (Wickes – £75). and wall-hung electric fire – £29.95 (B&M – £90) The key to shopping successfully on eBay is to trawl patiently from the cheapest items upwards. Rip-offs abound, but there are many genuine business people amongst the dross, simply waiting to be identified by bargain hunters such as your good selves. Incidentally, my current favourite on eBay is Chris in Northumberland from whom I have twice taken delivery of 6 feet X 3 feet wooden gates, constructed in 16mm pressure treated timber @ £55.40 each, including delivery! (See the illustration and eBay.) Or call Chris on 01434 673 063 for more information. Amazingly, the price is inclusive of japanned hinges and a snick. You won’t beat that at Wickes or B&Q.

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3 4 5

H F E L A O C K R W A I P R E S E N T S R D S W E E T S

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JOHN STELL 07716 105 196 jwstell@gmail.com

ALL ASPECTS OF WORK UNDERTAKEN INTERIOR & EXTERIOR FREE ESTIMATES

Flooring Tiling Skirting & Dado Fitting

Pointing Building & Ground Work Flagging Fencing Facias & Gutters Stormshield Garage Roof Replacements Patio Decking Extension Work

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Numbers Police Enquiries* (0161) 872 5050

NHS Direct*†† 0845 46 47

Crime Stoppers*† 0800 555 111

North Manchester General Hospital* (0161) 795 4567

Middleton Neighbourhood Police* (0161) 856 8701

Tesco Extra Pharmacy (open 7 days) (0161) 912 7147

Heywood Fire Station* (01706) 901 203

Alkrington Library (0161) 643 7799

Water (United Utilities)†† 0845 746 2200

Rochdale Council (switchboard) (01706) 647 474

Gas (National Grid)† 0800 111 999

Traveline†† 0871 200 2233

Electricity (Electricity Northwest)† 0800 195 4141

GMPTE Enquiries (0161) 228 7811

RSCPA Rochdale Animal Centre (01706) 861 897

National Rail Enquiries†† 08457 48 49 50

RSPCA 24hr Cruelty Line 0300 1234 999

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*These numbers are not for emergency use and you should always dial 999 in replace of these in an emergency. †0800 numbers are free from BT landlines, other providers may vary.

Fresh Flowers for Every Occasion. Candles & Gifts.

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Call us now for your FREE quotation on 0161 653 2890 Established 1985

A genuine local family run company

27 YEARS OF EXCELLENCE

Registered Company

6 Boarshaw Road Middleton M24 6BR

We are Rockdoor approved installers

Windows, Doors, Conservatories Porches, Door Canopies, Car Ports Fascias & Soffits, Guttering, Bi-fold Doors Upvc Repairs, Locksmiths, Replacement Glass Units

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Puzzles

2 4

6 2

1. How many dots are there in total on 5 dice? 2. Who provides the voice of Peter, Stewie and Brian Griffin?

3. Which is the world’s largest ocean? 4. After how many years of marriage would a couple celebrate a Sapphire Anniversary? 5. Which musical do ‘It’s The Hard Knock Life’, ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Little Girls’ come from? 6. Which retailer’s slogan is “Never knowingly undersold?” 7. In which British city will you find the ‘Bull Ring’ shopping centre?

ANSWERS: Available at www.alkringtonlife.com/bobsworld

Who’s Who Name the TV shows from which these bars and restaurants originate.

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Wordsearch Can you find the 12 signs of the zodiac in the wordsearchâ&#x20AC;Ś AQUARIUS ARIES CANCER CAPRICORN GEMINI LEO

LIBRA PISCES SAGITTARIUS SCORPIO TORUS VIRGO

S U W K S S U R O T V T

S U I R A T T I G A S X

Across

Down Across

1.payment in parts

G E M I N I F E C L A G

O L S T V R W A A K E P

G B F K E S P Z Q P Z O

S B P C B R E M U G V H

Z C N L I S P I A I L E

D A O C O E Y E R P I C

C C O R P C Y G I A B M

Z R D N P S O Q U X R R

13.siamese

8.colour of chocolate

17.persons of the highest class

10.sacred ancient Indian writings

B Y I F V P O C W O B J

11.has six equal squares

7.period of time 9.part of body that touches ground

N X D Z Y I S C S E A C

18.prefix - unit of measurement

19.calling Down 1.incompetent 2.land alongside sea 3.pain 4.a roundish projection of organ or leaf 5.show emotion 6.tempting 12.European flatfish

14.Indian language 15.fibre for making rope 16.repeated sound

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WINDOW SERVICES Windows, Doors, Conservatories Porches, Door Canopies, Car Ports Fascias & Soffits, Rock Doors, Bi-Fold Doors uPVC Repairs, Locksmiths, Replacement Glass Units

SURFACING SPECIALISTS Block Paving Driveways & Patio Specialists Natural Stone Paving Full Range of Cobbles / Flags available in various colours Also Garden Walls

PLUMBING SERVICES, BATHROOMS & KITCHENS Full Bathroom Refurbishments En-Suites / Cloakroom Suites Wet Room Applications Fitted Bathroom Furniture Burst Pipes, Blockages & Kitchen Sinks BRICKWORK SERVICES Garden Walls, Conservatory Bases, All brickwork undertaken. DISABLED FACILITIES Handrails / Ramps / Internal & External Adaptations available. ROOF SERVICES Roof Repairs to Full Re-Roof: Slate, Tiles, Flat, Metal. PLASTERING SERVICES Plastering, Artexing, Coving. FLU LINERS installed for Log Burners NO JOB TOO SMALL LOCAL AUTHORITY APPROVED FREE no obligation quotation Extra Discounts for OAPs

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TEL/ FAX : 0161 653 5256 MOBILE: 07976 275 820

ESTABLISHED 1999 Registered Company: 5730901

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Index Accountants Bianchi Chartered Accountants Middleton Accountancy Services

Alarms/Security Services Abacuss Alarms Advantage Alarms CEA Alarms

Curtains 45 Design Curtains 19 DIY & Garden Store Townley Lodge 49 Electricians DMS Electrical 15 Livewires 13 Wrights Electrical 18 Ullmer Electrical

Bathrooms Complete En-Suite

Estate Agents 15 Henstock Property Services

Bedrooms Eurostyle

Event / Party Decoration 14 Parties of Perfection

Bespoke Furniture Design Terence Poyning

Fireplaces 38 Hotprice

Aerials Middleton Aerials

Blinds Archer Blinds

Flooring 2 Design Flooring

Books Bill Keeth

Framing 56 The Framing Shop & Gallery

Bridal & Prom Wear Alkrington’s Touch of Elegance Building / Construction & Supplies AD Brickwork D. Cleary DPL Brickwork Godfrey Builders MJ Building Services Building Plans S-Mart Car Services Colour Quick Carpet Retail & Fitting Chris Kelly’s Carpet Market Choose at Home Carpets Carpet & Furniture Cleaning Star Cleaning Services

Central Heating Kwik Plumb SJM Chiropodists Beverley Calvert Carol Lee Cleaning ADS Multi Clean Aplin Cleaning Services Clothing Repairs & Alterations Topstitch Computers Middleton Computers

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Function Rooms Virgin Active Lancashire H & R Gardening & Landscaping Fairways Landscapes Gates & Railings Hill Farm Forge Glass Specialists Middleton Glass Cloudy 2 Clear Handyman AJ Services

39 Hair & Beauty Salons 6 Salon 280 The Edge Hair & Beauty 13 Health & Fitness Monty’s Fitness 65 Virgin Active Lancashire H & R 11 Zumba Heating & Plumbing 48 A & J Burns 42 Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy Emma Newman 10 Joinery 27 Alkrington Joinery Collier Property Developments Kitchens 31 Andrew James Kitchens Alkrington Joinery Kitchens 8 Eurostyle Kitchens & Bedrooms

32 10

53 45 44

68 Painter & Decorator Alan Storton David Briggs 51 Deluxe D. Flynn 5 R Cullen Ray Worrall

55 18 7 3 46 52

Pet Services Leestock Cattery

French Polishers 1 Pro Polishers 52 64 51 40 45

Laundry Services Posh Wash Locksmith Mobile Locksmith & Key Cutting 41 Motor Mechanic S Bolz Car Engineer 13 Nail Technician 40 Martine Nail Pro 6 42 Oven Cleaning The Oven Cleaners

25 Plasterer C Collins MW Plastering 38 Plumbing Services A Allan Plumbing 50 Property Maintenance AGV Property Maintenance JWS Property Maintenance 49 Pubs & Restaurants Lancashire Fold 40 Roofing 52 Crescent Roofing 33 Duckworth Roofing Solicitor 27 Sedgwick Legal Temperley Taylor Sports Facility Hire 21 Co-Operative Academy 27 Tea Shops / Cafes The Loft Cafe Middleton 34 50 Television Services 33 Home TV Upholstery 30 Fittons Vacuum Repairs 18 Alkrington Vacuum Cleaner Serv. 19 55 59 62 14

Van Maintenance Van Parts Windows & Doors Accurate Windows Crown Windows Vista Windows Your Choice

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40 42 51 47 59 12 37 46

43 26 67 29 31 44 7 44 8 61 4 24

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