Studio B Program

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A BRIEF HISTORY OF BLOOMERS

In 1978, Bloomers was founded by Joan Harrison (C’81) as the first collegiate women’s comedy troupe in the country. Today, Bloomers has evolved to a troupe for all gender minorities in comedy. For the last few decades, Bloomers has written and performed original sketch comedy. We produce a completely new show each semester both on and off Penn’s campus.

Like those before us, we wear our Bloomers proudly.

Program designed by the Bloomers Business Staff.

Cover art designed by Riley Guggenhime.

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BLOOMERS TROUPE 2022

Executive Board

Chair

Toya Liu

Head Writer

Ria Vieria

Cast Director

Megan Striff-

Cave

Assistant Cast Director

Anika Tiwari

Business Managers

Alana Kelly, Gabriela Bonina

Technical Director

Leah Van Dyke

Assistant Tech Director

Walli Chen

Band Director

Sophie Mwaisela

Band Manager

Aalia Rasheed

Costume Directors

Talia Coopersmith,

Rylee Saunders

Jackson

Alumni Relations Chair

Carey Salvin

Inclusion Chair

Mallika Tatavarti

Tour Director

Elena Miller

Internal Social Chair

Joelye Land

External Social Chairs

Valeria Bonomie, Maura Pinder

Bulb Parent

Anna Hochman

Cast

Ashna Yakoob C’23

Megan Striff-Cave C’23

Alex Goldstein C’23

Allegra Greenawalt C’23

Anika Tiwari C’24

Carey Salvin C’25

Drew Naiburg-Smith C’25

Izzy Sweeney C’25

Mallika Tatavarti C’25

Hannah Moskowitz

W’26

Lulia Tesfamaraiam C‘26

Band

Sophie Mwaisela C’24

Aalia Rasheed C’23

Elena Miller C’23

Jacob Lewin C’23

Tina Zhang W’25

Norah Rami C’26

Costumes

Rylee Saunders

Jackson C’24

Talia Coopersmith C’24

Maya Berardi C’23

Sammi Weiss C’23

Rebecca Kanter C‘24

Safaya Smallwood C’25

Keemia Sarafpour C‘25

Leah Hopf C’25

Aly Kerrigan C‘26

Anna Hallac C/E’25

Clara Skovronsky C’26

Biz

Alana Kelly C’23

Gabriela Bonina C’23

Toya Liu W’23

Amanda Oh C’23

Amaliya Yunusova C’24

Emily Huynh C’24

Riley Guggenhime C’25

Leann Goldberg C’25

Noelani O’Hare C’25

Izzy Welsh C’26

Priya Bhavikatti C’26

Writing

Franny Davis C’23

Ria Vieira C’23

Maura Pinder W’24

Anna Sophia Lotman C’24

Anna O’Neill-Dietel C’25

Anna Hochman C’25

Daphne Glatter C’25

Valeria Bonomie C’25

Iniyaal Raguraj E’26

Tech

Walli Chen C’23

Leah Van Dyke C’23

Anna Jiang E’23

Gianna LaBella N’23

Kaity McGeehan N’23

Joelye Land C’24

Linnea Schenk C’24

Shelby Abayie C’24

Adya Gupta C’25

Aled Dillabough C’25

Connie Pan C’25

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LETTER FROM THE HEAD WRITER

Dear Friends and Family,

Welcome to the Bloomers Show. As Head Writer, I’ve had the opportunity to oversee the writing process this semester. That being said, the ancient poets were right when they wrote that “teamwork makes the dream work.” The show that you will see today is the result of the blood, sweat, tears, and caffeine from everyone in Bloomers. The people who wrote and contributed to this show come from a wide array of diverse backgrounds. We believe that comedy can bridge the edgy and the inclusive and we strive to create a more perfect bridge every year. Thank you for coming and supporting professional-level collegiate musical sketch comedy. We know there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

– Ria Viera

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Act 1

Welcome to Hollywood

Date Night

“Mr. Blue Sky”

A Cautionary Tale

Take 1

“Tek It”

Stacey and Rhonda’s Hair Salon

Gregorie Peeblie’s 2nd Annual Fireside Chat

“Drop the Guillotine”

Go Fish

Focus Group

“Heart of Glass”

Take 2

Intermission

Act 2

Go Greek!

This Call Will Be Recorded For Training Purposes

A Quite Serious Interrogation

“Lovefool”

Girl Talk

Bump in the Night

“Ain’t No Mountain”

Pizza Knots FOMO

“Love on the Brain”

Take 3

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Megan Striff-Cave

TV Character They Want to Be: Selina Meyer from VEEP

TV Character They Actually Are: Schmidt from New Girl

Alex Goldstein

TV Character They Want to Be: Deborah Vance from Hacks

TV Character They Actually Are: Phil Dunphy from Modern Family

Ashna Yakoob

TV Character They Want to Be: Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender

TV Character They Actually Are: Milhouse from The Simpsons

Allegra Greenawalt

TV Character They Want to Be: Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones

TV Character They Actually Are: Andy Bernard from The Office

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Hanna Baniassad

TV Character They Want to Be: Troy Barnes from Community

TV Character They Actually Are: Gob Bluth from Arrested Development

Anika Tiwari

TV Character They Want to Be: Lexie Grey from Grey’s Anatomy

TV Character They Actually Are: Portia from White Lotus

Izzy Sweeney

TV Character They Want to Be: Keeley Jones from Ted Lasso

TV Character They Actually Are: Alex Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place

Drew Naiburg-Smith

TV Character They Want to Be: Jim from The Office

TV Character They Actually Are: Michael Scott from The Office

Carey Salvin

TV Character They Want to Be: Liz Lemon from 30 Rock

TV Character They Actually Are: Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock

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Mallika Tatavarti

TV Character They Want to Be: Phoebe from Friends

TV Character They Actually Are: Tobias from Arrested Development

Hannah Moskowitz

TV Character They Want to Be: Stevie Budd from Schitt’s Creek

TV Character They Actually Are: Cody from Suite Life on Deck

Lulia Tesfamariam

TV Character They Want to Be: Shawn Spencer from Psych

TV Character They Actually Are: Gina from Brooklyn 99

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Ria Vieira

Ria Vieira is an important name - best you learn it now so you’re not behind later. 3.5 years ago she was birthed (painfully, beautifully) into the Bloomers Writing Room; since that day the world has been unrecognizable. This show came from Ria’s very brain. Ria is our head writer and North Star. I (a lowly apostle) am immeasurably lucky to know and love Ria (and so are you!). Every time you laugh, I hope you remember her name. R-I-A.

Franny Davis

If you looked up the dictionary definition for “my favorite person in Bloomers” there would be a picture of a beautiful, silly girl named Franny. It’s a privilege to have known her these past four years, and I only hope that she goes on to make subtle references about Bloomers (and me) in her inevitable HBO show. Franny, we are nothing without you. I love you more than Robert Jefferson Harrison III loves America… and that’s saying a lot.

Maura Pinder

Maura is the epitome of a shining light in Bloomers. Her ideas and enthusiasm for Bloomers are literally contagious. She is insanely talented and witty and by far the funniest person to ever graduate from Wharton. Today you’ll catch her riding her bike through campus, but soon enough, her name will be on some major film/TV credits or in Forbes 30 under 30. We will just have to wait and see!

Maura Pinder— to know her is to love her.

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Anna Sophia Lotman

Anna Sophia is a paradox. You meet her and you think “Someone so kind surely could not also be so hilarious.” You are wrong. It is okay to be wrong. Not that anna sophia ever is, but for people like us, it’s normal. When she is smart she is a genius and when she is funny she is hilarious. Get used to her exceeding your expectations. If Anna Sophia is around, you are at home. What a girl!

Valeria Bonomie

Vale is an awesome girl who I like to call “my friend Vale.” She’s from San Diego (La Jolla, even!) and studying HSOC. When she isn’t writing super funny bits for our little show, you can find her at the movie theater, McClelland (delicious chicken bowl), or testing people for covid (but don’t worry she just does it based on vibes). You should compliment her on her beautiful scent, it’s probably from Anthropologie! Damn, she’s my twin flame for real!! you compliment her on her beautiful scent, it is probably from Anthropologie!

Anna Hochman

anna hochman, most notable for making a big splash at the KWH chili cookoff, is a sophomore studying urban. she’s a force in the writers room from her pop culture repertoire to her beauuuutiful voice. someone put that girl onstage! a friend to many and an enemy to one (meghan markel haters) anna is a truly special girl. stick around after the show to see her sing Shallows from the hit movie “A Star is Born” you won’t be disappointed.

Daphne Glatter

Daphne is writing’s renaissance woman. When she’s not learning linear algebra or TA-ing 114, she’s reading Chaucer or contemplating platonic form and the plotinian one. One minute this gal is explaining gödels incompleteness theorem and the next she’s making the most genius sex joke. I guess you could say the only thing sharper than her intellect is her humor. Or when she fingered your mom last night.

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Anna O’Neill-Dietel

Anna O’Neill-Dietel: the AOD. Editor at 34th Street and UTB, the real silent killer of the writer’s room. She’s currently training for the love run half marathon; you should admire this/be terrified of it because like damn I respect marathon runners but they also scare the shit out of me. I mean, she’s gonna run 13 whole miles and leave you in her dust when she does it. Now that’s what I call extraordinary…AOD for president or bust!

Leah Van Dyke

(L)oves (E)arth (A)nd (H)iking

Walli Chen

(W)asian, (A)lso (L)ikes (L)science (I)and the philadelphia eagles (go birds)

Gianna LaBella

(G)ianna, (I)anna, (A)nna, (N)na, (N)a, (A)

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Anna Jiang

(A)lways, (N)making, (N)dirty, (A)shirleys

Kaity Mcgeehan

(K)ind (A)nd (I)ndustrious, (T)reasures (Y)achtzee

Joelye Land

(J)oelye (O)nly (E)njoys (L)eaves, and (Y)aks, (E) hehehehe

Linnea Schenk

(L)ovely, (I)nteresting, (N)ovel… (N)ow (E)ats (A) pples

Adya Gupta

(A)ll (D)women(Y)do is (A)lie (cool gay one)

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Aled Dillabough

(A)lways (L)ittle :) (E)agerly (D)evious >:)

Shelby Abayie

(S)ummer (H)olds (E)very (L)eap, (B)elieve in (Y) ourself

Connie Pan

(C)rude jokes about (Y)O mamma —(N)ever appreciated, always (N)ecessary, (I)n my opinion. Eggs.

Rylee Saunders Jackson

2.5/5 stars, the hair and makeup team did great as always, but the plot felt more like a video essay on Lego Starwars than a film. From one rising cult classic to another, Rylee’s commitment to bringing a little treat to the function could best be described by the quote “There’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ‘em just cheat on you.” -Clerks

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Talia Coopersmith

1/5 stars, it’s like if tommy wiseau directed scott pilgrim and the only thing about Ramona (recast as talia) was having blue hair

Maya Berardi

10/10. B list movie. B as in Maya Berardi. As in Bold, Bodacious, Bootylicious, Busty, and Bangin’. Best B lister i’ve ever met.

Sammi Weiss

3/10- One of Wes Anderson’s biggest flops. With all the screen time those damn cats got, it felt like he just made a Fantastic Mr. Fox remake. Wish I saw more of that cute redhead character! I hope the sequel is about her semester abroad.

Aly Kerrigan

The Nathan for You remake “Aly for you” is garbage!! All she does is buy used clothes, wear eyeliner, do urban studies, eat hot chip and LIE!!!

Anna Hallac

4/5 stars. Came for the serene opening scenery skiing through the Swiss Alps, stayed for the subversive portrayal of a woman in STEM. Lost a few points for the plot, the big climactic payoff was just her submitting a problem set from the owls bathroom .5 seconds before the deadline.

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Fay Smallwood

2.5/5 stars. Plot seemed like it was written by a caffeine crazed, sleep deprived, mushroom enthusiast at the wee hours of the night. Only redeeming factor were the angelic outfits and the drama.

Clara Skovronsky

5 stars. Would have never guessed that a plot that was just manic pixie dream girl meets leather jacket meets Talmud would work but that’s good writing

Leah Hopf

5/5. Sometimes directors can get a little gratuitous with the boob imagery, but I feel it really worked here. Felt artsy AF, but in a genuinely cool way. Clearly appealed to the female gaze. Also solved all of my emotional problems. Film of the century.

Rebecca Kanter

2/10. A promising trope reversal in which a young, ambitious female moves AWAY from NYC, but the film is perhaps too accurate to real life, as she just ends up watching too much TV. I came for the Bloomers x Hillel crossover plot and stayed for the pet rabbit.

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Gabriela Bonina

If Gaby were a celebrity… she would always wear sunglasses because no one should be looking her in the eye. Gatekeeps her own movies during press tours??

(Think: Zoe Kravitz)

Alana Kelly

If Alana were a celebrity… she would be the next big star of Vogue home tours. She would lowkey cancel someone, but she was just being real.

(Think: Dakota Johnson)

Toya Liu

If Toya were a celebrity… she would have a ton of spin-offs and variety shows, but how exactly did she become famous again….?

(Think: Paris Hilton)

Amanda Oh

If Amanda were a celebrity… she would submit other celebrity sightings at events she was clearly at, never forgetting her humble roots as the admin of a 1d/5sos fan page.

(Think: deuxmoi)

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Amaliya Yunusova

If Amaliya were a celebrity… you could always find her on a European yacht or at a music festival wearing a neutral set, and she would adopt many children.

(Think: Angelina Jolie)

Emily Huynh

If Emily were a celebrity… she would dress in highly elevated basics (she’s giving refined stoner), would tip the paparazzi on herself but pretend she had no idea, and probably watch her own fan edits.

(Think: late stage Seth Rogen)

Riley Guggenhime

If Riley were a celebrity… she would want everyone to know she’s “off duty” as she carries various tote bags with a different cause every day to earn the turtles/climate/wage gap the publicity they deserve.

(Think: Anne Hathaway)

Leann Goldberg

If Leann were a celebrity… she would be America’s sweetheart. She would get invited to go on Dancing With the Stars and then win, because everyone loves her smile :)

(Think: young Reese Witherspoon)

Noelani O’Hare

If Noelani were a celebrity… she would be so elusive, with only 1 paparazzi sighting a year wearing the tiniest little sunglasses, but that one photo just went viral!

(Think: Rihanna)

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Izzy Welsh

If Izzy were a celebrity… she would embody influencer x business mogul, probably with her own skincare line, and marry really well.

(Think: Hailey Bieber)

Priya Bhavikatti

If Priya were a celebrity… Priya would be a big-time vlogger. Right now, her vlogs would be recorded on an iPad because her phone is at the bottom of the Hudson River.

(Think: Emma Chamberlain)

Sophie “Wait this is just like that Simpsons/Family Guy joke where they…” Mwaisela

Favorite song from the set: Heart of Glass. Strawberry everything. Hosts crazy boiler room parties (I hear Jim Croce and Ice Spice attended) Got great discount tickets to Steve Lacy. Bruno Mars cosplay. Wait, wasn’t she in Penn Dems? Will fuck up Doritos and Coca Cola !!!!! Job includes working with ancient scrolls. So intelligent and will recite any part of history. Best band director ever we love you sophie <3

Aalia “Hip city veg-ucator” Rasheed

Favorite song from the set: Love on the Brain. Sexiest trombone player. I know u have a fat crush on her. When she drops her phone (often) it launches 4 feet in front of her. roller derby sensation in Seattle. Eats lots of miso soup. Newest ipad kid on the block. Literally such a talented singer. Aalia we will miss your love and dedication to band it truly won’t be the same without you

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Elena “likes music” Miller

Favorite song from the setlist: Don’t Stop Me Now. Finally has her trumpet case <3. Chops are on. “Fucking A”. Resident sexy blonde. Always grinding in the basement of VP. Slurpeeees and Sip Club. Wants to work in the music industry after graduation… might be a major record mogul one day… watch out. Elena we will miss your incomparable energy and the joy you bring to the rehearsal room. You’re truly one of a kind.

Jacob “wait guys my bike” Lewin

Favorite song from the set: Drop the Guillotine. OG Bloomers Band member since 2019 with Aalia <3. Sheep brain (not that he has them– he just TA dissections of them and he’s actually very very smart). Wilcaf. Wig Crew. Naturally wavy curtain bangs you’re jealous of. Jacob we will miss your witty remarks, endless banter, and the thoughtful love and care you have for people in your life. :’)

Tina “the trendsetter “ Zhang

Favorite song from the setlist: Another Day of Sun. Best thrift finds. Red hair duh. Influencer. Always fitted asf. Really kind and positive all the time. Simultaneously so uplifting yet grounding. 0401. Seattle babyyyyyy. Coolest ever. A true renaissance woman. Will make you jewelry if you do a lil dance or sing a lil song for her. One time Tina lent me a jacket and 17 people complimented me on it. Sweetest soul!!!!!!

Norah “Credit Card Fraud” Rami

Favorite song from the set: Lovefool. STEM era. in every club ever. ^ lowkey passed out because of it. A literal cartoon character. I spy Norah’s yellow backpack. orange subaru crosstrek named tony. Lactose intolerant. Has a cis midterm which is why she’s not here if you’re reading this on Thursday. Always wearing the color yellow! Our sunflower, ray of sunshine, and light of our lives!!

Nix “Eat Fresh” Pawlowski

Favorite song from the set: Aint No Mountain High Enough. A man of few words but many beats. Probably in a Jazz combo. Huge Sandwich Enthusiast (HUGE). Made me a reuben on my birthday. One time when we forgot the kick drum pedal he just used his foot and played the set without it, it was crazy. Is as mysterious as he seems. Amazing talented musician, incredible drummer, better friend

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WE WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!

Bloomers is Going on Tour!

This spring, our troupe has the opportunity to go on tour to New York City! We are so excited to share our work with a bigger audience, but we can’t do it without your help. Please consider donating to help us bring some fantastic comedy to the streets of the Big Apple.

Gift Fund

If you enjoyed the show, please consider donating to the Bloomers Gift Fund, which helps sustain the troupe’s production and touring costs. These donations are tax deductible and contribute to your overall University giving profile.

The link to the gift fund is here: bit.Ly/bloomers_giftfund

Scholarship Fund

In addition, if you would like to help support individual Bloomers, please consider donating to the Bloomers Scholarship Fund. During the 2020-2021 school year, Bloomers created the Scholarship Fund to eliminate financial burden and ensure an equitable experience for all troupe members. The Scholarship Fund helps to cover dues, social costs, and merchandise.

If you want to donate to the Bloomers Scholarship Fund, Venmo @Bloomers-BusinessStaff with the message “Scholarship Fund.”

Any donation is greatly appreciated and we hope you enjoyed the show!

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