Black & Pink News, Vol 9, Issue 2—February/March 2018

Black & Pink News March 2018 • Trans Woman Wins Legal • How Post-Prison Reentry Battle with MDOC over Programs Fail Queer Access to Hormones Women • News from the Inside: • “Mother,” a poem by Exciting Events in Missouri Reginald Dwayne Betts, • Call for Help from Lovelock from Reentry: a Triptych Corrections Center (NV) plus: art, letters, and poetry from

Black & Pink family

By Shaylanna L. (NY)

The artwork here and on the cover was created for the 4th annual Trans Day of Resilience project. 10 transgender visual artists and poets of color created art centered on trans resilience—a reimagining of Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20th), which memorializes those we’ve lost to anti-trans violence.

by Raul G. (TX)

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A message from Dominique...

Dear family,

Culinary I had earned and spending time with my family. And for about six months that’s how my life went.

Right before Christmas that year my Mother passed away unexpectedly.

My Father had passed away about

I’ve started this letter over and over. Will I find the right words?

Will they see me and know my intentions?

I’ll start by saying that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that people and things that were put in place to serve you and support you didn’t go the way they should have.

You deserve better. And I’m going to do my very best to give that to you. January 22, 2018 I New Black & Pink National Director Dominique Morgan accepted the position of National Director. To three months into my sentence say that I’m excited to get to work so I became the guardian for my would be an understatement. youngest sister and an orphan all in I guess I should give you all a one night. bit of background on who I am and I spent the next year learning why I’m in this work. I’ll be 36 in how to live in the real world and a few weeks (shout out to all of my a parent of a 12-year-old young Pisces reading this). I’m born and lady. I simultaneously went back raised in Omaha, Nebraska and I’m to school, found that advocacy proud of it! (Go Cornhuskers). I spoke to me and starting working went to prison at the age of 18 and on my first album. (I wrote my first jammed my number (8-16 years) song during my stint in solitary and spent 18 months of that in confinement.) solitary confinement.

There’s a lot that took place and February 16, 2009 I walked out I definitely plan on sharing who I of the gates of the Nebraska State am—but I only have a word limit Penitentiary. I still remember getting lol so yea... car sick on the car to the bus station My job is to make sure Black and home. I couldn’t imagine anything Pink continues the work that Jason besides using the associates in cultivated and nurtured. I think I

also have a responsibility to expand our programming and amplify the work we already are engaged in.

Reentry, youth mentorship and supporting inside chapters to grow.

I’m working on ways to acquire your feedback and keep you involved with our evolution as an organization.

But for now just know I think of you all everyday as I learn the ins and outs of Black and Pink and focus on our next steps.

We are a strong c o m m u n i t y.

If the past four months have taught me anything it is that.

I’m honored to be your National

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that people and things that were put in place to serve you and support you didn’t go the way they should have.

You deserve better. And I’m going to do my very best to give that to you.... I’m honored to be your National Director and I got you. I got you. That’s my word.

Director and I got you. I got you.

That’s my word.

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In This Issue News you can use Trans Woman Wins Legal Battle with MDOC over Access to Hormones pages 5, 15, 16 News from the Inside: Exciting Events in MO pages 6-13 Call for Help: Lovelock Corrections Center (NV) page 10 How Post-Prison Reentry Programs Fail Queer Women pages 13-14 “Mother,” from Reentry: a Triptych, by Reginald Dwayne Betts page 15

Black & Pink family Art pages 1-2, 21, 39-40 Letters pages 17-22, 24-26, 28-37 Poetry pages 15, 20, 22-24, 27, 30-31, 33-34, 37 Submit to Black & Pink! page 38

Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life.

Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.

February/March 2018 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities.

About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!

Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST

We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding.

Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper.

The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts.

Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our

Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.

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Mo. Trans Woman Wins Legal Fight for Prison HRT

By Nidhi Prakash

BuzzFeed News, Feb. 10, 2018 Jessica Hicklin, a trans woman serving time in Missouri’s Potosi Correctional Center, will receive access to hormone therapy and gender-affirming treatments after a federal court granted her requests in a preliminary injunction on Friday.

“I kept going, like, Are you kidding me? I get to be the woman I am? Even just trying to explain it my eyes are fogging up,” Hicklin, 38, told BuzzFeed News in a phone call from the Mineral Point prison on Saturday. “I have so much hope for the future now.”

The Missouri Department of Corrections had denied the transition-related care recommended by Hicklin’s doctors, including hormone therapy, access to women’s commissary items, and regular hair removal, because she wasn’t diagnosed with gender dysphoria before she was sent to prison—what’s known as a “freeze frame” policy.

Hicklin was sentenced to life in prison without parole in 1995 after she was convicted of first-degree murder and armed criminal action for shooting and killing a man during a drug-related incident.

She was 16 years old when she began serving time. Her doctors and psychologists testified that she has

severe anxiety and depression, and has at times been suicidal, as a result of being denied treatment and

“This kind of policy is unconstitutional... This should be the knife to the heart of the policy.”

Demoya Gordon, Lambda Legal access to commissary items that align with her gender.

continued on page 15

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February/March 2018

Call for Help from Lovelock Corrections Center Trans Pride Initiative has received an urgent call for help from LGBT imprisoned people at the desert dungeon: Lovelock Corrections Center.

It seems that institutional transphobia and homophobia thrive at Lovelock, where our imprisoned siblings are facing inhumane treatment from the guards, officers, and even medical personnel who are tasked with their safety: “Here at LCC we are being harassed and threatened by administration and staff members.” The letter continues saying that LGBT imprisoned people are being denied parole by the head psychologist: “Dr. Verne E. Lewis uses his position to give inmates a highrisk assessment on their sexual offense risk form.”

Known as a “static 99,” good ratings on this form are crucial for imprisoned people to escape the desert dungeon of Lovelock and see their friends, families, and communities again. Section 2 states, “Ever had a lover 2 years or longer?”

Since Dr. Lewis doesn’t see LGBT relationships as legitimate, he marks “no,” which keeps many of our loved ones deadlocked in dangerous conditions at Lovelock, unable to get parole.

This treatment is the tip of the iceberg for LGBT there. Also our loved ones are being threatened by the dungeon guards for filing Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) grievances. Full PREA compliance is essential for LGBT people inside the dungeon to access safety, and for administrative intervention on the private fiefdoms in Nevada, and all over the country.

Trans Pride Initiative is asking on behalf of those in the dungeon of Lovelock, to call the prison, and to reach out to the communities of Reno, Northern California, Oregon, and Salt Lake City. Show love for the LGBT people in Lovelock by calling, writing, and reaching out: Lovelock Correctional Center 1200 Prison Road Lovelock, NV 89419 (775) 273-1300 For more information about the conditions at Lovelock, please write: Jack Patterson, #65358 Lovelock Correctional Center 1200 Prison Road Lovelock, NV 89419

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How Reentry Programs Fail Queer Women

By Erin Kerrison

The Marshall Project, Jan. 24, 2018 If the goal of reentry programming is to empower people returning from incarceration to make the most of their lives, then the system is failing women. While so many wise women have warned against our relying solely on men, the correctional settings that I’ve visited appear either not to have those aunties among their leadership, or not to have taken the message to heart.

As a result, they make reentry harder for women who are not in relationships with men, or who desire relationships with women.

For nearly two years, I volun-

teered and conducted research at a privately-owned halfway house in Pennsylvania. It was a facility for women recently released from prison or who had violated the terms of their probation. As a behavioral health expert, my work with the residents focused on helping to identify their reintegration needs.

To that end, I worked alongside the program’s full-time executive director, a part-time admissions director and other staffers. I also operated as an embedded criminologist, observing and recording the experiences of the approximately 40 women who resided at the house at any given time.

Their stays lasted anywhere from 30 days to 12 months. In that time, the women were tasked with re-

building their lives, often from the ground up. The cornerstone of that effort was a mandatory

None of the women I met... could cite positive past relationships with men, yet all were encouraged to pursue reentry plans that involved men.

Reentry Home Plan outlining each resident’s next steps—her plans for housing, employment,

continued on page 14

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February/March 2018

How Reentry Programs Fail Queer Women continued from page 13 family reintegration, and sometimes drug treatment.​​ ​ ​ ​​ These women—many of them reconciling histories of substance misuse, violence, trauma, racism, sexism, and isolation—were working hard to rebuild their lives and draft plans that were sustainable and healthy. Sadly, I saw many penalized for pursuing lives post-incarceration that supervisors deemed “risky” simply because they did not fit gendered or heteronormative ideas of success. For queer women especially, it created challenges to reentry instead of eliminating them.

Heterosexual women seeking day passes to visit family and male romantic partners were usually granted them, for example. Explicitly or ostensibly queer women at the house were not permitted to spend time “on the outside” with female associates with whom a potential sexual encounter was assumed.

I propose establishing reentry approaches that... address the needs of women as they are articulated by the women themselves.

One queer woman, Jodi, told me that her probation officer knew that the woman she wanted to visit was her partner, and she was subsequently not allowed to see her. The probation officer told her that visits needed to be restricted to family, and that “it wasn’t a good time for her to hang with friends.”

Jodi shared her disappointment with me that her probation officer apparently did not see the value in her reconnecting with her partner of several years. Simultaneously watching her heterosexual counterparts confront fewer visitation restrictions left her feeling shattered and cheated.

Queer residents were further vexed by the refusal of probation officers and halfway house supervisors to approve home plans that included same-sex female partnerships. Claire, who knew better than to disclose that she planned to live with the female partner that she had grown quite close to while incarcerated, was devastated when a fellow resident revealed their relationship to a halfway house staff member.

Claire later shared with me that she cycled into a weeks-long depressive episode after the house monitor declared, “the time for y’all to be touchin’, ticklin’, and gigglin’ is over. Now is when you get serious about who you want to be.”

Indeed, none of the women I met at the halfway house could cite positive past relationships with men, yet all were encouraged to pursue reentry plans that involved men. In fact, residents shared that house staff and probation officers often encouraged plans that involved a male partner, whether or not he was economically secure, but discouraged plans that included a criminally uninvolved, economically secure female partner.

Residents came to believe that performing traditional gender norms would earn a more favorable assessment. They responded largely by faking their way through counseling sessions and assessments, ensuring that official case notes told

the story that they imagined probation officers needed to believe.

Such an approach has absolutely nothing to do with successful reentry for formerly-incarcerated women and everything to do with forcing women to fit into a dated, heteronormative, middle-class ideal—one, ironically, that led many of the women into the criminal justice system through the actions and influences of male partners.

Residents navigating this all too common prisoner reentry context, leave unaffirmed and unprepared to chart life plans that support the new positive life trajectories to which they aspire. As such, the fallout for them and their communities is profound.

Queer women deserve better from our criminal justice system, especially reentry programs supposedly aimed at helping them self-actualize. I propose establishing reentry approaches that rely on the wisdoms of women coming out of these spaces, and that address the needs of women as they are articulated by the women themselves.

Growing up, my mother and aunties drilled into my head that “a man is not a financial plan.” It’s a necessary reminder for any young girl growing up in a society that encourages women to be dependent on men, and is one that I wish was incorporated into (and meaningfully enabled by) our criminal legal system.

Erin M. Kerrison teaches at the University of California, Berkeley.

Her work highlights how criminal justice intervention shapes health outcomes for individuals and their communities.

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Telling a story about innocence, won’t conjure acquittal. & after interrogation & handcuffs & the promises of cops blessed with an arrest before the first church service ended, I’d become my father. The tape recorder sparrowed my song back to me, but guilt lacks a melody.

Listen, who hasn’t waited for something to happen? I know people died waiting. I know hurt is a wandering song. I was lost in my fear.

Strange how violence does that, makes the gun vulnerable. I could not wait, & had no idea what I was becoming. Later, in a letter, my victim tells me: I was robbed there; the food was great & drinks delicious, but I was robbed there. I would consider going back. He said it as if I didn’t know.

Reginald Dwayne Betts is an American poet, memoirist, and teacher. After committing a carjacking at the age of 16, he spent over eight years in prison (including 14 months in solitary confinement), where he completed high school and began reading and writing poetry.

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MOTHER

by Reginald Dwayne Betts from “Reentry: a Triptych,” in The Marshall Project, Feb. 5, 2018 Why would he return to a memory like that?

As if there is a kind of bliss that rides shotgun with the awfulness of a handgun & a dark night.

There is a Tupac song that begins with a life sentence; imagine, I scribbled my name on the confession as if autographing a book.

Tell your mother that. Say the gun was a kiss against the sleeping man’s forehead, say that you might have been his lover & that, on a different night, he might have moaned.

Mo. Trans Woman Wins HRT Legal Battle continued from page 5 “I wanted to have hope that it was going to happen and when it didn’t I had to convince myself every night when I went to bed, how am I going to go on, how am I going to keep doing this?”

Hicklin said. “I was just explaining to my therapist the other day, I can’t even take myself in the mirror anymore. And to think I’ll actually be happy to look in the mirror, that’s actually going to be me, not this other person.”

Judge Noelle C. Collins wrote in the preliminary injunction that Hicklin has shown that she would suffer “irreparable harm” if she had to continue living without hormone treatment, hair

removal, and women’s commissary items, while waiting for the case to be finalized.

“Ms. Hicklin has established that she suffers from and will continue to suffer from severe emotional distress as well as a substantial risk of self-harm and that she has been deprived of her constitutional rights,” Collins wrote, referring to the Eighth Amendment constitutional right to be protected from “cruel and unusual punishments.”

The Missouri DOC did not immediately respond to a request for comment. A spokesperson for Corizon Health, the private company contracted to provide health care in the prison, said they would provide the treatments and access to women’s items as ordered by the court,

but noted that a final decision has not yet been handed down.

“We’re going to comply with whatever the court says but the

“For me this is lifesaving... It’s like you’re drowning and somebody throws you the life vest.”

Jessica Hicklin final order has not been done in this case,” said Corizon spokesperson Martha Harbin.

continued on page 16

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Mo. Trans Woman Wins HRT Legal Battle continued from page 15

lin ck Hi ica

Je

ss

The preliminary injunction doesn’t order the state of Missouri to rescind its “freeze frame” policy, but Hicklin’s lawyer, Demoya Gordon of Lambda Legal, said she’s hopeful this will be a significant blow to the policy.

“This kind of policy is unconstitutional,” Gordon told BuzzFeed News. “If they can’t justify not doing this for her, how that can they justify not doing this for anybody else. This should be the knife to the heart of the policy.”

Hicklin legally changed her name to Jessica in 2015, and has since been appealing the Missouri DOC’s refusal to grant her hormone therapy, hair removal, and women’s commissary items. She filed the lawsuit, working with attorneys from Lambda Legal, in August 2016.

She said waiting for the case to progress for the past year and a half has been painful.

“It’s like you’re out in the middle of the ocean, your boat capsized, and you’re just hoping that you’ll see a boat on the horizon, and that you’re not going to drown, but how do you keep treading water?” she said.

“It’s like this lawsuit was a flare,” she added. “That’s really how I’ve felt, like we filed this lawsuit and it’s in the courts, there’s no indication of whether anybody saw it and I’m just drowning, and wondering why I’m still treading water. So obviously the feeling is, the boat showed up. There is life now.”

She said she’s looking forward to things like mascara, women’s underwear,

and curling irons and straighteners for her hair, which she’s grown out to reach past her waist.

“All my life it’s been the only expression of womanhood I had was my hair,” she said. “And I’m looking forward to having [women’s] underwear that’s me ... I will be the only one who knows that I have it but it’s a sign of me. And just to be able to say I dress like a woman, because I am one.”

And she’s been thinking about the other two dozen or so trans and gender nonconforming people she’s in touch with in other correctional centers around Missouri, some of whom have been denied treatment for decades while they’ve been in prison.

“They’re not going to believe it. For me this is life-saving, and I know for sure if I’m talking to someone, it’s going to be life-saving for them. It’s like you’re drowning and somebody throws you the life vest,” she said.

After a 2011 lawsuit, Adams v. Bureau of Prisons, trans

and gender-nonconforming people who are serving time in federal prisons must be given access to the health care they need even if they weren’t getting that treatment before being incarcerated. Several state prisons have “freeze frame” policies, but Gordon says it’s unclear exactly how many.

“In a lot of these prisons they don’t have an official written policy, it’s just how they operate, so it’s hard to know the exact number of the ones that are still dong it but what I can tell you is that it is antiquated. They don’t adhere to either modern medical practice or standards of human decency,” she said.

Hicklin’s is the latest in a series of cases over the past few years in which courts have granted transgender prisoners access to trans-specific health care, including the high-profile case of Chelsea Manning, whose lawsuit against the US military eventually led to them agreeing to give her access to hormone therapy and gender affirmation surgery.

In another high-profile case another trans woman, Ashley Diamond, was serving time in a state prison in Georgia—she challenged the state’s refusal to provide trans-specific health care in 2015, which led to that state’s Department of Corrections changing its policies. During Diamond’s case, the federal Department of Justice filed a brief supporting trans prisoners’ rights to have trans-specific health care in prisons.

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Letters, Poetry from Our B&P Family Dear Black & Pink, I wrote to you back in Aug. of this year, but never heard from you.

Today I received a support directory with a different address. So I thought I would rewrite you. Let me start by telling you where I’m at and where I’ve been and what I’m looking for.

I am makeing the transition to live as a Transgender female here in prison. This is NOT something new.

I knew from a very early age, about 6 or 7, that I should have been born a girl. When I was about 10 I gave myself a new name Jessica Marie, and at 12 started to dress as a girl.

Mostly at night, but when my Mom and Dad started to leave me home alone I started to fully dress-up (wig, make-up, clothing, even high heels). When I was 15 I told my parents I had been dressing as a girl for two years and I also told them that it wasn’t a faze. I had wanted to be a girl my whole life. At first they said I could be fixed. that it wasn’t my fault and I could see a doctor and he could fix me. It was strange at first because I tried to tell them I didn’t need to be fixed. But when I told my mom I wished I could have a vagina she told my dad and that’s when things started to get a little physical.

So for the next year and a half I went to three doctors. They all told them the same thing. Basically the

doctors told them I was normal and they couldn’t change my gender.

My mom and dad couldn’t handle that so I took it a step further. I told them not only was I attracted to both girls and boys but I had been with a girl and a boy sexually. That was pretty much the last time we ever spoke. We still talked off and on until I was 21, but I haven’t spoken to them since then.

Anyway, from July 4, 1999 - April 22, 2002 I lived as a girl 24/7. I was 2 weeks away from starting hormones when I was arrested. The state I was arrested in, Vermont, did NOT do anything for Transgenders.

Then in late 2004 I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder.

I thought this might help me get on hormones, but even with this a Doctor and my lawyer Vermont would still do nothing. When my lawyer found out I had to come to California he did some research to see what California did for Transgender prisoners. I became hopeful with what he found out.

When I finally got to county I was told I would have to wait till I got to prison to do anything! This was NOt what I wanted to hear. I sank deep into depression! I started to eat every thing insight! I even took a medication that makes you gain weight! I thought if I didn’t have a feminine body I wouldn’t want to be a girl anymore. Plus, I wanted to

hurt myself. I had worked to hard to be feminine and curvy. So if I wasn’t it would hurt me emotionally. Well it made me fat (317 pounds), still wanted to be a girl, but it destroyed me emotionally!

Now I’m in prison feeling so much better. Lost 76 pounds in 7 1/2 months. And very proud! I have been referred to a transgender specialist to start hormones. I’m having some problems getting things I need to live as a woman, like a wig. I KNOW it can be approved, but no one seems to want to help me with anything.

I do have one doctor a psychiatrist, Dr Berger, who so far seems to want to help me, but when push comes to shove will he really do anything! It’s my belief I should be able to have a wig, make-up, clothing, including panties, feminine hygiene products.

Just about anything a female inmate can have I should be able to have (with some exceptions).

So I say this because I was hopeing you could help advocate for me on some of my issues. I was also hopeing you could help me get a penpal. I would love to write to another transgender female for emotional support and maybe more!

I would also like your newsletter.

Thank you, Sincerely, Jessica Marie (CA)

Share your artwork with the B&P community! see mailing instructions on page 38

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Beyond the Looking Glass Sometimes our regrets seem to smother us, the emotional baggage it causes weighing down our shoulders until it takes every ounce of energy & strength to take that next step forward. We dwell on questions like “what if” and “why didn’t I,” even though they’re impossible to answer, and only poison our ambition & spirit.

Black & Pink News

it does this by playing on repeat the moments in our lives that make us want to go back in time and relive it either to change it or because we feel life was never better. What doesn’t show is what led to that great moment, or how hat mistake impacted us and/or made us into a stronger person... we are blind to the cracks in the mirror that are meant to remind us that a perfect life is meaningless, and a damaged or “thread-bare” life is the developer of compassion, empathy, courage, and strength.

February/March 2018

we must be courageous enough to see beyond that looking-glass to what opportunities lie ahead of us. Because sometimes our greatest failures are what become our greatest successes that set us free! Prison has become a reality check, and literally saved my life... from alcohol and drug abuse (as “self-medication”) to the dangerously promiscuous life I was living. Am I saying that I’m glad to have ended up here? Absolutely, not! But what I do know is that it took my hitting rock-bottom to be able to get back to the surface to breathe, and to finally see that life is too short and unpredictable to not live it true.

Late at night when I’m left to ponder where my life has come to, and surrounded by a Coming to prison was the lowest deafening silence, I am haunted point in my life and left me feeling by everything I could have done empty and a disgraceful failure; it differently. Memories of what made me ask where I took the wrong appear to be “better” So I beg you, shatter days play in slow motion across my “Life is not easy or clean, and we are all your looking-glass solitary mind... bound to have regrets; but in the end and set yourself free of the bindings of along with the faces those regrets and messy moments the past! No matter of everyone who has cared about and/or make life the unique and enjoyable” what you could have done differently you impacted my life in are blessed with one way or another.

For a long time I allowed myself turn. Two years and 6 months later unfathomable opportunity ahead to become obsessed with those I now know that I NEVER took the of you that you’ll NEVER see reflections of a life that is now wrong turn but rather chose to walk if you stay locked in your room only memories, and I cried my life’s path with my eyes closed, staring into a mirror of memory and mourned those memories; and caused myself to stumble, fall, that will NEVER change. Life allowing myself to “fall into the and land in a deep pit because I is not easy or clean, and we are looking-glass” and be driven never saw the bridge that would all bound to have regrets; but in mad by “what if’s” and “could have taken me to the other side the end those regrets and messy have been’s.” What I failed to safely. So as I begin my journey moments make life the unique see though in those images was as a recently “out” transgendered and enjoyable place it is, because the promise of the future, and woman; and learn to allow myself if you didn’t know regret and opportunity; you see the looking- to live and allow the true me, failure we’d never know joy and glass is the most deceitful object Jakaelynn Rae Davenport, to shine success! in our heart & soul, ***the through; I’ve put that looking #Hope&Faith, looking-glass does nothing but glass on the curb so it could never #SRLP, lie***. Its point of being is to smother me again. The past is great, #LookingGlass, #BeingTrue2U! show us what we missed out on, & many say “if you don’t know to second guess ourselves, and to history, you’re doomed to repeat it,” Fight for love and life! degrade our hope for the future; but it has no place in our future... Jakaelyn (NY)

Volume 9, Issue 2

Dear Reader, I’ve been through a lot of stressful situations since my incarceration in 2007. With a little over 7 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice - Institutional division, I have seen that this system (while meeting only the minimum of humane conditions) is designed for only one thing. That’s to prey on the inmates’ mental faculties to degrade the inmate, invade his privacy, and frustrate the ability to choose pursuits through which he can manifest himself and gain self-respect in so that it erodes the very foundations upon which he can prepare for a socially useful life. The things that these officers do only creates angry, broken, aggressive, violent, and hostile individuals and then release back into society only to be unprepared to meet the demands of civilian life beyond the razor wire fence and contributes to the high recidivist rate.

As David Rothenberg, the founder of The Fortune Society, has asked, “How many men in solitary will be released from prison some day and how will they be able to function in society after such dehumanizing conditions?” that is a question to which prison authorities are never able to provide a sresponse. It’s also sad to sit here and watch as those that are mentally ill, become mentally ill, and very stressed out individuals do whatever it takes to just to be able to move around and get some fresh air or to a more humane place.

They are also seen as weak and easy prey and broken individuals.

To really understand the affects and underlying causes of an individual whose broken and dehumanized from being in solitary confinement please visit the Solitary Watch

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website at www.solitarywatch.com and look up Prison Isolation Cells Hold Thousands of Inmates with Mental Illness. A sure sign that solitary confinement/administrative segregation is the prison system’s admission that it is incapable of reclaiming lives.

I am appealing to the reader that, I, myself being a 36 year old biracial and bisexual male in Administrative Segregation do not want to find myself being a statistic in the continuous cycle of recidivism and want with the utmost passion to change my life to be able to become a law abiding productive citizen in society. So, I ask that if you are in a position to adopt a prisoner, I will be eternally grateful and give whatever I can back. I am looking for a sponsor to be able to help me on my way to a better and productive life by enrolling me into the PASS (Prisoner Assistance Scholastic Service) which is the only national school for prisoners and their rehabilitation. The self-help based curriculum is done via the mail, and takes approximately 6-12 months to complete. Successful students receive a diploma in Personal Psychological Development. The curriculum is divided into two semesters and includes courses in: Parenting, Addiction, Gang Diversion, Conflict Resolution, Victim Awareness, Domestic Violence, Anger Management, Non-violent Communication, Reentry into Society, and Living With Purpose. The entire course costs $500.00. This must be paid in full prior to enrollment or participation in the program. You can sign me up by sending the $500.00 (payable to PASS or the Prisoner Assistance Scholastic Service) to P.O. Box 2009, San Francisco, CA 94111

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with all my information or you can call PASSS at 1-888-670-PASS to enroll me. Payment can also be made via Mastercard or Visa at www.passprogram.com .

This is to ensure you that I’m serious in my willingness to change the negative into positive and not to take for granted what help I am blessed to receive because no money will be sent directly to me and there is no financial gain for me but merely preparing me for a more productive life for when I am blessed to be released back into society and reunited with my family.

I thank you all who has read this for your time, consideration and effort into sponsoring me, whether you do or don’t. I still thank you for everything.

Sincerely, Lorenso G. Jr. (TX)

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The Transformation: From Isolation Into Population Segregation To all confined convicts within the deplored and dilapidated prison cells - we are shaking “solitary confinement” by definition, but not in reality. Before I start this article, I want to express gratitude to all the supporters who fight to oppose the PIC (prison industrial complex). I write this not to cast shade on your efforts and freedom fighting work ethics, but to send out a warning that needs heeding!

The long and arduous fight against solitary confinement is long overdue.

I can not speak of what other states are experiencing, so I will forecast what I see is to com to I.D.O.C. prisoners. As we are overcoming the blizzard of solitary confinement, another storm is brewing...A storm of rain and depression.

On January 1st, 2017, I.D.O.C. changed 20 Ill. Admin. Code 504, which is the disciplinary regulation.

I was happy to see I.D.O.C. is adhering to the egregarious effects of isolating prisoners for long periods of time in confinement. But I.D.O.C. is pulling a ruse to undermine our advocates and abolitionists. We know all too well how officers write tickets for petty offenses and/ or fabricate disciplinary reports altogether. What’s happening is officers are going out of their way to manufacture incidents that we will likely respond to. Shaking down cells opening up food; throwing pictures/ obituaries/artwork on the floor or in water; eating food; urinating/ spitting tobacco in the toilet or sink, sometimes property box; placing items in another prisoner’s cell hoping to cause confusion; taking property that is not contraband.

Black & Pink News

Direct confrontations such as getting in your face and pointing their finger, being revile. Shaking mail down and writing tickets for whatever may be considered a violation; incoming mail and photo’s (which we have no control of what is sent). These are just some of the circumstances that officers set us up for, to write tickets for.

As of now, we are not given seg time or that much seg, but we are given large amounts of privilege restrictions(s): TV, mp3 player, yard, phone, visit, day room, and commissary. With no privileges in population means what? We are in “population segregation.” Review your DR 504 and you will see that large amounts of privilege restriction (1 year or 6 months) are given for the most common charges that officers write tickets for.

Minimum privilege restrictions (3 months) are given for things prisoners rarely do: health, smoking and safety; possession of money; failure to submit to medical forensic tests; petitions posting business ventures; transfer of funds; etc.

The administration is not enforcing the restrictions strongly yet. But are handing them out excessively. As of right now, I.D.O.C. is under the microscope, but once the lense of isolated confinement is switched to another issue, our advocates and abolitionists are important - the administration will suit up their tactical team and storm cells to take every TV and mp3 player that is restricted! Yard, day room, phone, commissary, and visit restrictions will be enforced with an iron fist! We will have

February/March 2018

transformed from isolated confinement into “population segregation.”

Do not fall for the verisimilitude that I.D.O.C. is flimflaming. Please write our advocates and abolitionist state representatives and warn them.

We must urge them to have I.D.O.C. impose a restraint on how much privilege restriction(s) can be given and within a certain time frame. Please spread the word amongst the prison population. As we continue to struggle, we must equaly continue to protest.

In struggle I stand, A.K.A. - The Alias

Phenomenal Trans you call me an abomination, I CALL ME UNIQUE! you call me confused, I CALL ME DEFINED! you call me disgusting, I CALL ME.....

BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, INTELLIGENT PHENOMENAL TRANS!!!

Your words can not, define me! your words can not, bind me to the chains YOU demand I wear, to make YOU feel superior.

There’s nothing to fear here I’m a PHENOMENAL TRANS...

By Terra O.

Volume 9, Issue 2

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Dear Black and Pink family, I am an older gay guy, stuck in this prison for life. I often sit and think about the wonderful life experiences I’ve had. I got to thinking as far back as I could, trying to remember “when I knew” I was gay. There were obvious adventures that stood out, and here are a few...

When I knew...

I knew I was different when I spent the night at Randy’s house in elementary school, and felt so great sleeping in bed pressed against him.

I knew I was different because I was in love with all the guys on “The Brady Bunch,” “Eddie’s Father” and “My Three Sons.”

I knew I was different when others spent their allowances on candy and toys while I shopped for objects I could lubricate and slide inside me. Vegetables were my new best friends!

I knew I was different when I felt dead around my girlfriend but tingled all over when her handsome brother came around.

I knew I was different when instead of sniffing and masturbating with my sisters panties, I would try them on and wear them.

Now it’s your turn, Black and Pink family. I would encourage you to write to this wonderful paper and share with me and all of us, when you knew. I can’t wait to read your experiences. Stay strong.

For the struggle, Wiz Kid, Texas

“Like a Rabbit (just because you’re trans you are all about sex)” Life as a transgendered woman in the male prison industrial complex is ripe with drama and landmines, that force us women to live a life of tip-toeing on eggshells. Many people have a tendency and desire to interpose their own uncontrollable lust onto others around them, especially men, who seem to assume that since they would screw pretty much anything with tits and a heartbeat that women and trans women want to get laid by any man with a heart-beat.

Just recently, I experienced this misconception once again; being housed among men means that I’m often accused of hitting on and “chasing” guys in my unit or watching them in a sexually lustful manner. As I said recently I was the butt of rumors that said I was hitting on and pushing myself on three “straight” guys in my unit; even though this was COMPLETELY untrue it was taken as the truth by the masses due to my being transgender.

art by Chris (WI) This becomes a dangerous game because it invites violence, paranoia, and potential sexual assault against the transgender individuals in that environment.

Such is why transgendered women will NEVER be safe within a male-populated facility. How are we supposed to address this kind of situation? The trans women are forced to live with not only the “normal” unwritten “prison code” but we’re forced to live subjected to many unwritten “codes” and rules of conduct/”engagement” that only apply because we live outside the accepted gender binaryism of the community/environment.

Every day we are subject to cat calls, heckling, and vicious gossip about our every move and breath. How can we live in such an environment safely? Thus we are thrown into a massive liberty issue where we are forced to be sheep amongst a pack of wolves, and our safety & wellbeing is in jeopardy everyday.

Fight for love and life!

Jakaelynn D. (NY)

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February/March 2018

Black & Pink News

Dear Black and Pink Family and friends, I am a thirty-seven year old, bisexual man from Detroit, MI. I have been in Prison for fifteen years.

I read many of the letters from family in the newsletter. I believe that a person cannot hide how they really feel and who they really are.

I don’t see myself as being in the closet, but I am afraid of the world and of people’s ignorance.

I was taught that a man is supposed to be with a woman so it is hard to admit that I have feelings for other men and am attracted to them mentally and physically. I have always been a macho, masculine figure and I tried to deny the fact that some feminine guys turn me on. I thought it would make me less of a man if I admitted that I had feelings for other guys, but now I know that a real man does not try to be something he is not.

The point that I want every reader to understand is that being yourself is freedom, being trapped and afraid is keeping your mind locked up. Due to the help of my lover, Jae, I now feel free. He helped me see that there is nothing wrong with being “Rob.” I have been fighting with inmates in a battle I cannot win.

Violence proves nothing and has severe consequences for everyone involved. As inmates we should be working together, not against each other.

Thanks family, for allowing me to speak freely and openly. Today, I am proud of who I am.

Peace & Love, Rob, (MI)

In the End...

I am quite agitated Greatly aggravated By your disregard Making things hard For those looking for peace So you need to cease The endless tirading The constant berating On the rights of others

That doesn’t harm another’s Civil liberties That are all guaranteed Might as well relax On your baseless attacks Because in the end We will be the ones to win. me and you...

What if we stood tall, What if we refused to fall...

By Dezzie Brooklyn M., (IL)

Volume 9, Issue 2

blackandpink.org

My Dylan, My Pet, My Love How I loved to softly gaze upon you as you looked to something else

I hated to see you hurt or afraid to know that anyone ever let you down

The way I could catch your root beer eyes and soft smile makes my heart swell.

It pained me to know your abandonment and I could not stand to see you frown.

I loved the tender little moments we shared like sweet picks of chocolate

How my heart thrills and lips still tingle to the memory of kiss

A touch, our fingers intertwined or just your nearness makes my heart beat.

You were afraid that I could forget you that another man could steal my heart?

I lay awake remembering you my soul, belongs to you, my all, my heart.

It did not matter to me that our flesh had not, could not, has not yet joined I simply loved you, all of you, our bond so intimate, so spiritual, so kind.

I loved the way you extend your care to everyone around us How you try to include them all make everyone feel wanted, special, loved I hated to see you hurt or afraid to know that anyone ever let you down

Tenderness, just lips, tongue tasting and the way you held me to your bliss.

That is enough to carry me forward to wage wars and battle time

Mail Call Darkness and loneliness fill my cell with pain and fear too great to yell.

I wait for the mailman to deliver to me as I wipe away tears that no one will see.

I pray so sincere with heads raised above, “Please, God, soon send a letter of love” I long to gaze upon pages so dear, with riches to bring my loved ones near.

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I will carry forever this torch I bear and, if you wait for me, you are mine.

The morning you chose me I misted I felt the immediate connection The leash handed between us tethered The collars that love blessed us My Dylan, soft and pure and sweet the angel whose wings still beat In my darkness, my slavation, my love I am Raevehn -> resurrected -> I am your mate

By Raevhen Words of diamonds on pages of gold a message from heaven as their story is told, “We love you, miss you, pray you’ll be free.”

A treasure-filled envelope just for me.

Please bring memories of joys I once knew Family, friends, and things I would do.

The darkness and pain of my cell will prevail as my name, again, was not called for mail.

By Ray Bradbury

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...want to understand what’s happening. But I want to tell you how I get to where I am going, because the relationship at sentencing, the most important one is between the judge and the defendant.

Because the judge determines what happens, and you’re the person that has to suffer.

And I can imagine, when I read all of this stuff that has happened to you in your life, that it was true. It is just incredible to be. I’ll be very honest with you, Mr. Martz, in what, I don’t know, for various hearings you’ve bravely been in front of me six, eight, ten times. Something like that.

I don’t know. And to be very honest, and I don’t mean this negatively, but it seemed to me that you’re gayer than a handbag full of rainbows. It’s apparent to me. But I think that’s who you are.

And I think that there is something about your personality that I needed to get some better insight into what I think prompted this behavior, and so I thought the risk assessment was very helpful.

I thought the questionnaire that I saw that you filled out was helpful. And just from the seriousness of the offense, even though this is your first offense with the law, and it went on so long and so many times - I don’t care whether it was only ten as you claim or it was more - once you get to that point that’s just way, way too many.

Chris (WI)

Black & Pink News

February/March 2018

Is There Anyone Who Misses Me...

Is there anyone who misses me Anyone who thinks about me Is there anyone there to comfort me Possibly confide for me Anyone there to listen it’s me Is there anyone to come and hold me Just once in life cold it be about me...

Someone out there who misses my sense of humor Someone to take in my style in all its glamour Someone who misses emotion and empathy and wants to explore...

Someone who just misses my company Someone that only wants me, and nothing from me Is there anyone who misses me Misses me for being me, Misses that my spirit is free...

Misses my calm and cool It’s all love here, no ridicule...

Some say at times I am too kind Yet I’m so far from anyone’s mind...

Is there anyone who misses me...

Someone out there who thinks about me Somebody to cater to me I’m not needy just wanna feel like a VIP Someone to endure my pain To rub my bones when it rain Someone to help me get through the rough terrain For the life of me a lock on love is hard to sustain I would not complain if I was on a ball-n-chain...

No care - concern - commitment makes life’s future hard to see Just once in this life can it be about me Is there anyone who misses me...

By Drew C. (PA)

Volume 9, Issue 2

blackandpink.org

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More Words from Black & Pink Family Dear Black and Pink Family, Hello once again. I would like to express my deepest thoughts and concerns to our brothers and sisters who contribute to the Black and Pink newspaper submissions thank all of you. I want to take the time to respond to three (3) of the submissions from the February 2015 newspaper. Which gave me much concern.

First of all, I am in a Pennsylvania Institution, I claim to be transgender/ gender identity disorder inmate.

With that I’ve been in for over 23 years. I’ve been in eight (8) institutions in PA DOC so with that said: Girl in PA congratulations on your success of gaining your treatment. Get use to the harassment by guards, staff, and inmates. Some PA institutions like us girls, some don’t. Out of the eight (8) I’ve been to, three (3) may have accepted us in part. Your best bet is use the abuse hotline in the PA DOC handbook and do paperwork to all and any LGBT organization you can get, by writing in your complaint too. I’ve been doing it for years and they will back up once they see you’re putting up a fight. Girl, it’s a road I keep fighting.

Now California Girlie Girl; secondly, I must say thank you for my sister who outlined a great deal of the discriminatory and racist, protecting yourself and many other aspects of the prison systems rules.

Yes, like myself being older I do hear “you don’t look like a woman.”

It’s crazy how they say that! But then they’re sliding you a note

under your door or when you’re alone trying to get with you saying I’m on the DL (LOL). Psst write me a note. Then I show everybody, once they open their mouth again, in the yard, compound, etc. etc. Mmm. Also the issue on the “all the gender affirming things.” Since 2011, I’ve been on this issue trying to get womens cosmetics as the women prisons have, bras, sports bras, etc. etc. Hearts on a wire outside collective has been campaigning to help us gain this but giiiiirl, to let you know I’m with you on that.

It’s a long road but we keep going.

Surely eventually that is coming.

Because more and more of us are coming into the penal system and something has to give. Baby girl, you’re intelligent and an inspiration to all of us. Thank you so much.

you are at fault, you are responsible.

Trust me, it works. But everybody should always note abuse is abuse.

Report it! If that don’t work file a civil complaint and note that on your grievance or request slips to the warden/superintendent or DOC. You’ll see how fast they react. New laws for LGBTQ are coming forth.

Right now, no one wants that wrath because we are getting stronger...

With that said I’d like to say Happy Birthday to my baby boy I love you.

Wink, wink!

Now to the Arizona man, thirdly: I am very saddened by how the Arizona DOC’s protection policy is. This is like a Third World prison system. I’m sorry you and many others go through such abuse. We have it bad in PA. But nothing like that of Arizona. I hope someone out there, helped him in some way or another. No matter who you were before that. No one deserves to be treated in that way. I will pray for you, and all who endure such abuse mentally and physically.

This is what I do some advice for everyone. I write to 10-20 different organizations. Either it be LGBT or equal rights organizations. They document them in a filing cabinet.

Then I write the DOC stating I wrote 10-20 (or how many organizations I wrote) and I let them know of this and that, anything happens to me,

Being real!

<3, Miley, (PA) Black & Pink, I love you.

I am empowered each day to be the person I am.

Because of insecure, negative, jealous people, it helps me to be more secure with myself.

Throughout all the struggles I face in life I see the freedom I have in myself to strive through the adversity.

So I thank all of you who have put me down, disrespected me or who have just been plain stupid.

Because it has given me more strength to show all of you that I am a true, faithful person who isn’t trying to hide, the real me!

What about you? Think about your truth!

And show your strength to be real.

Lisa (CA)

Page 26

Dear Black & Pink Family,

Black & Pink News

is an adult 19 y/o man at the time.

Forced? Manipulated? Nothing could be further from the truth!

Because he was bitter about the other guy he went to the police and made a report against me. He admitted that we spent time together, that he had taken a sexual performance pill prior to the encounter, and that he even went out with me later that night after the alleged encounter.

Why would he if I had harmed him?

The police and county were cruel to me. The police beat me mercilessly, tazered me, and had their K-9 dog bite a huge hole in my leg. At the hospital the police lied and said I was in a car accident. Had I not been tortured I would have never plead

February/March 2018

what I explained happened with that guy that got jealous. Please, PLEASE submit any resources My name is Robbie. I am a 32 legal and otherwise you could y/o beautiful brown skinned publish and/or send my way American man. I am incarcerated for my particular situation. in California. I am inspired and I would’ve never imagined encouraged by the stories and being locked up because of my articles in the Black & Pink sexuality, but this happens. I will newspaper. I was particularly likely be paroling next summer to moved by the poem on page the Bay Area in California close 11 of the 2014 December issue to San Francisco. On 1/2/2015 entitled “Change” by beautiful while out on the yard with some Zachary from Idaho. I thought brothers I saw a double rainbow, it was very real, very raw truth. one on each side of the sun and I still, even today, hear the same I heard in my heart... “never message from society, that it is be ashamed of who you are.” wrong to be me, or as Zachary I believe that to be the voice wrote “Don’t love him, for it is of our Great Spirit - I believe sin.” I have been misunderstood we are loved and my entire life. I cherished by our am in prison today Spirit. The because of a jealous “On 1/2/2015 while out on the yard Creator highest form of vindictive lover. For with some brothers I saw a double love in the Greek a day we were free, like a sky full of stars rainbow, one on each side of the sun language of the Bible is Agape - a (I love that Coldplay and I heard in my heart... ‘never be male-to-male love. song :) ) and I shared I would encourage all that I had with ashamed of who you are.’” my brothers & him. I was kind sisters incarcerated and loving to him.

I believe that I should not be out to a lesser charge of sexual to make use of any mental health limited in who I love, for love battery. I have NEVER sexually programs or dual diagnosis is unlimited. Anyway, he found harmed anyone. I am a loving good programs at your disposal. out that I had another lover and person - that is why I am not afraid Also make use of any college programs.

Empower your did something very vindictive to get my story and name out there. mind. Find someone to help. to me. Since I was the first guy he had feelings for, he formed I only took the plea deal because I We get better when we help an ownership attachment that is was suffering so much in solitary others. I hope to return to our common in our community and and I had an attorney that wouldn’t communities and inspire change in our society too. He came out to invoke a defense for me, a queer man. and equality. Remember that we his mother who would not accept I was alone. My family had drawn all matter and never let anyone it. She convinced him that it was a line in the sand years before this devalue you. I love you all my wrong to love another man and over my sexuality, so they provided beautiful brothers & sisters. Be she went even further to convince no help in building a defense for me. good to each other. him that if in fact he had a sexual It has been a lonesome journey, but encounter with another man that I still believe. I still hope. I can heal Under the Rainbow in California he must have been forced or and love again. I need help, people. , manipulated in some way. This I have to register now because of Robbie (CA)

Volume 9, Issue 2

My Open Book I was born, I cried I laughed, I breathed and always told; I wear my emotions on my sleeve… but this is something, that I am unafraid to admit because, I am real & honest, and it keeps me legit… now- these are just a few things, that I’m very proud of… as a god-fearing man, who’s so full of love…

I don’t speak on opinions, I work with actuality… comfortable in my own skirt, confident with my sexuality…

I have a woman’s touch, but a man’s style (yet), my heart is willing to accept, whoever makes me smile… for I’m like a living-sponge, observing everything in my heart with my mind and as I learn, teach and grow, I’m able to wring it out on my own time… and I won’t stop here, even when times get too rough…

I have a long-ways to go, and I can never learn enough… my: prologue & epilogue, has always given me a good look… but my dialogue is more than cover-pages, I am an open book

By Tone (S. Philly)

blackandpink.org

The Voices

In the dead of night the voices call, Trying like a siren to entice and enthrall.

Flee as I may, hide as I might, I cannot escape until it’s daylight.

They whisper, they plead to my reluctant ear, Trying to convince I should not fear.

If I then were to listen, what pain they impart, Spreading their poison straight to my heart.

Narrating my past where once I was sad, focusing on the love that I never had The message they bring resounds in my head: “You’ll never be worthy you’re better off dead.”

I sought relief with razor, pill and rope. Then there was bottle, relationships and dope. But the void inside me I could not fill, when it came to living, I had lost my will.

It didn’t even matter when to the bottom I fell, Thrown into an isolation cell.

One thing for sure I’ve always known In this hell hole we are not alone. All around I hear the cries of fright. I see the voices are busy tonight.

By Lisa J. (TX)

Page 27

Untitled Lately I have noticed, A disturbing trend.

I don’t like it much, And I hope it will end.

The girls and the boys, They only want to be.

With their own age group, And that leaves out me.

Stonewall, Compton’s, The Congressional lot.

We won some and lost some, Oh, the wars that we fought.

We fought long, And we stood tall.

State by state, Anti-marriage laws fall.

Now I’m older, They call me grandma or mom.

They can only see the wrinkles, And the gray hair that’s long.

They don’t care about the wisdom, And the lessons I’ve learned.

They don’t ask for guidance, Or about the rights we have earned.

They only want youth, Someone like them.

No one wants a sixty two year old woman, Who was born as a man.

By Mama Rachael (CA)

Page 28

Hello to Everyone at Black and Pink, As one of 15 transwomen at this prison I’m the woman choses as the first transgender spokesperson for the Inmate Advisory Committee. At first I wasn’t sure what to expect.

Now 7 months into this, I have really found out that you have to have an open ear and do the best you can not to just represent everyone, but also as individuals.

Every transwoman is different and each one has different issues, and sometimes I do have to give tough love to some of them. Only because they need to hear the truth! It doesn’t mean that I don’t love them, it means that I love them even more.

I do the best I can with all the girls even if they don’t listen. Sometimes its a lot easier to navigate the prison when you lived the things they now go through.

Dealing with the staff daily and their complaining about the girls, I have to be a good listener. But I also have to encourage the staff to be professional in their approach and what not to say to the girls.

The main thing we deal with here is the proper pronouns. No girl here wants to be called anything other than what she presents herself as.

She The 2nd thing is, our respect.

A lot of staff think its cute to say and do stupid stuff in front of the inmates. Incorrect. Then we allow the inmates to do it also.

I have learned to pick and choose my battles. I also explain to all the girls if its something you don’t like, then write it up, or we do a group write up. Put it on paper, less verbal talk. I always tell them that any

February/March 2018

Black & Pink News

conversation with staff, to make sure you get the name and you say you piece in as few words as possible.

In CA I have made great strides as far as human therapy and S.RS and now we await whatever female items we can get. These things weren’t easily done over night.

But girls like Shiloh and Michelle helped to make it possible. I am the girl that is about the principal of it and not just the items.

Anything that you wish for is possible, if you keep your focus on the fight and stay away from the crap that doesn’t mean anything, you can get more done. Black and Pink has been a place for myself and others to express what goes on and to give and take idea for somewhat of a better life in prison. So to my transwomen all over and my LBGQTA brothers and sisters, we will get there if we all rise up together. Believe in the words of POWER. With power you can obtain structure, balance and hope.

Love to everyone, Lisa (CA)

To all my brothers and sisters, To start off my name is Brittany.

I’m 28 years old and I’m serving a very long sentence in PA. I just started receiving the Black & Pink newsletter. I am a transwoman. I am very happy and proud of who I am.

I want all my brothers and sisters to know that we’ve got to stand up for who we are because the world doesn’t think we should be heard.

It took a lot for me to fully come out. I came from a bad family and I’m so happy to be out and regret not coming out a lot sooner. I have

guards who provoke me and who do anything to bring me down. But at the end of the day, I am happy with who I am. I had a guard tell me to go kill myself. And I tell the guard I don’t tell you how to live your life, so don’t tell me how to live mine. We must be heard. We can’t let these rude and bad people bring us down. Please live your life to the fullest. I am currently fighting to get approved for my hormones since coming out hasn’t been easy. We are going to have haters no matter where we go. But we can’t let them bring us down. We are all strong and our voices will be heard.

Love always, Brittany Love PA Long time reader, first time writer.

First I want to send love to all my brothers and sisters, awesome sauce.

Alright, down to business. I’ll start with a small brief of me. I am a 26 soon to be 27 MTF who is serving a 25 70%. I love reading the paper every month, sometimes it’s the only mail I get. The letters in the paper gave me the courage to come out to my mother finally.

Still no thoughts on it from her, but she has reassured me no matter what she loves me for me.

I have always felt as if I was being forced into a “norm” when i was young. I was the “strange” one in the class. Playing with dolls and not the cards. Throwing a fit if I couldn’t be the “Mom” in a game of house. Always told “No thats for little girls, you’re a boy! You know the jist. I conformed to a point.

Volume 9, Issue 2

Borrowed my sisters clothes without anyone knowing ect.

I fought with the whole thing internally for years. Every time I had a chance to breach the subject, I would make some excuse not to, or, it wasn’t the right time.

Once I got on my own. I was Sean by day and Vanessa by night. I had my own wardrobe, makeup, etc...

When my family would come over I would make the excuse “oh my girlfriend must have left that here” stupid stuff you know deep down they don’t believe. Ignorance is bliss, or so they say.

Doing all he hiding, duel persons takes a strain on your mind. As it did with mine I was paranoid of someone finding out...My dirty little secret <- My mothers words not mine. I developed a form of scitzophrenia was having panic attacks in the middle of stores, belemic and anorexic, insomia, and to top it all off I lost my freedom, my will, my child & my sobriety.

I was uneducated on what was wrong with me. So I indicated with AND thing that made me not feel, pot, cocaine, LSD, shrooms, and pills.

I was suicidal and hated myself. I tried to find any information I could online but the most i found was “her heroic story” crap news articles.

I told you all that so I could tell that one sister out there who is creaming of the top of her lungs to be heard.

You are not alone. When you walk into that room filled with who you decided to bless with your heart enamored. Open to the wounds that will come. Know, in that blessed,

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beautiful heart, you do not stand alone. You stand with an army of your sisters and brothers behind you. Know, you are not alone. I feel as if I can’t say it enough. Please know that you are never going to be alone in your walk. I stand with you hun.

I hope that I have reached someone who is in mental limbo, who is terrified of opening that door.

Goddess knows, I was.

I have met so many of my sisters since I was first incarcerated in 2011.

It angers me that Iowa does not have a policy to help. All they have is a policy to help. All they have is a policy to do is hinder. I have had the mental either laugh at me me or say “ it’s just a faze” my a$$. A faze lasts a few months not a life time.

So, wish me luck. I am going to start the light for transwomen in Iowa.

In my opinion, it is cruel & unusual punishment to be forced to live in a prison inside a prison. I find that my birth gender in a prison & I am long over due for discharge from the prison of being male.

(If this gets in the paper which I hope it does) For now & always Vanessa (IA) P.S. Any “free world” help would be appreciated in the legal battle.

Thank you.

Dear black and pink, Thank you for your newspaper.

It is a bright light in what is most often a very dark alley. My name is Michelle, and I’m a 74 year old female Transgender inmate on

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the Kansas KDOC. I have been fighting for Transgender rights in prison since 1970. I am the Lamb in Lamb v. Maschner , 633 F.Supp 351 filed September 1984. One of the first two civil actions filed that same year, and the first two actions ever filed in Federal Court seeking treatment for Transgender inmates.

Supre v. Ricketts, 792 F.d 958 was the other case.

I have now served over 45 years in prison, and while I meet every criteria for parole, I was just passed for the 13th., time in April for another 30 months. At this last parole hearing I had two mental health therapist wanting to testify at my hearing with regard to my transsexual treatment, but the board refused to call them. Since I have been to parole hearings where the parole board would not even allow me to say the word “transsexual” I must assume this is a big part of the reason I’m denied parole.

I have recommendations from 3 doctors for transgender treatment and sex reassignment surgery. Still I have to fight for every thing I get.

I’m now allowed to wear female underwear (panties and sports bras) but nothing else. I have been on female hormone therapy and male hormone suppressors since June 2013, but the KDOC has kept on such a low dosage that it has actually stunted my secondary sex development, and breast development . I have just filed a PREA complaint trying to be transferred to the Women’s Facility, and I’m working on a 42 USC 1983 Civil cimplaint. I will try to keep you informed.

Sincerely, Michelle Renee L. (KS)

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Dear Black + Pink, I am new to the B&P family. I am a 39 year old transgender man. I am a girl trapped in a man’s body. I have not had an easy time in the 7 years I have been incarcerated. I have been raped twice. I was afraid to speak up at first but then I did.

The system did nothing but move me to another unit. where it happened again. I have been open about who I am from the first day in the system. It is on my file that I am a girl. I am convinced by the actions of the system they don’t care what happens to me. It has been 2 years since I was last raped. I have taken the power away from my rapist. I am proud to be the girl I am. I want to encourage others to speak out against this injustice. You are not alone as I have come to realize. Take pack the power given these predators by not being afraid. We have to stick together to get changes made. You are a beautiful person and worth more than gold. Be proud of who you are.

The B&P newspaper has helped a lot. thank you all. The unit I am on now is more accepting of me. They guys around me speak to me and of me as a girl.

This has really helped me gain my self esteem back after the rape. Keep up the fight Black and Pink family. I am. change will come as long as we don’t give up. Best wishes to all my brothers and sisters out there.

Thank you again family for speaking out and being heard.

Love always, Robin (TX)

Black & Pink News

February/March 2018

One of These Days One of these days, you’re gonna realize that I’m a human being and not an inmate.

One of these days, you’re gonna respect me and see me for my dignity and integrity, and not treat me like I’m some wild animal.

One of these days, you’re gonna realize that I’m not call(?) state property, but a United States citizen. I won’t be shipped from institution to institution like some mail package.

One of these days, you’re gonna respect my privacy when I wanna shower, shave, and defecate.

One of these days, you’re gonna realize you can’t medical or dental co-pay me anymore, or give me ten days a month anymore.

One of these days, I won’t be that six digit DC number you count at night. I won’t be that DC number you repeatedly scream out all the time.

One of these days, I will not be traveling north, east, south, or west on your yellow lined roads, Directing me to stay in line. You won’t be imposing sanctions of disciplinary time upon for misconducting an action in your statement of lies.

One of these days, I would be able to enjoy myself at “Applebees” and not “Inmate Canteen.” Furthermore, If I choose to go out to a restaurant it won’t be called “Chow Hall or “Mess Hall.”

One of these days, you won’t be able to torment me with your racist words.

One of these days, you’ll realize the bed I sleep in is called a Queen size and not a “bunk” or a “rack.”

One of these days, you’re gonna realize what you had done to yourself because you didn’t faze me, but only amazed me. I found out that you’re no different than who I once was and the blues I wore.

By Cardorius P. (FL)

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Volume 9, Issue 2

Hey brothers and sisters and black & pink family, What’s going on? Yea I’m still locked up and nothing really changes for me I was hoping that I would be home when I got done 3 years and 7 months from Pennsylvania. Now New Jersey gave me 14 months for a violation from 2012 and it’s double jeopardy. But who do these people care about besides making a buck off me. Brothers and sisters I struggle everyday due to the fact that they won’t let me move to another facility on the compound.

At South Woods State Prison or any prison in New Jersey they hate people that are homosexual. What I notice about the prison I’m in that if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe these guards want you to be a snitch.

What am I to do about this issue? If I was to write these people up these people come back with a vengeance and their retaliation they go as far as sending people to the hole on frivolous misconduct charges or they beat you beyond recognition. I’m hiding from others that I’m bisexual cause New Jersey state prisons they don’t accept us cause a majority of the prisons are made up of gang members and I don’t know and didn’t know the rules of New Jersey prisons cause my state’s prisons, in Pennsylvania, are different than New Jersey state prisons. So what I go through everyday is torture cause if I slip up I’m a dead man. There are others like me here in this prison but they won’t let me move over there.

I’m also dealing with a conflict of interest cause my morning CO and sergeant are in-laws. They refuse me the right to move to another facility which my CO answer for the sergeant.

My brothers and sisters I love being

me and I never had to hide who I am from anyone and I’m tough/can fight real good, but I shouldn’t have to fight anymore cause I like guys besides women. What they forget or fail to understand is that my sexual preference is my business. But I cherish the ideals or my dream is to make it home to my family/son and my future boyfriend. hey6 keep me strong to start a new life. I loove you all my brothers and sisters. And shout to Sci-Greene prison.

Love, Jay (NJ) My B&P fam, :) What;s good every1!? I’m in Arkansas State right now. I’m Niko & I’m a feminine lesbian. Had a 1 year & 8 month relationship with someone here and my feelings have changed. I grew up and don’t want her like that. She wants more, I don’t. So I let it go. I want friends and if it blossoms into more then I’ll go with it if I’m feeling it.

But I’m going to touch on a few things...

PREA...Girls here misuse it. If they don’t like me - they call. If I am with someone and they are jealous or a crazy ex - they call.

To get folks separated - they call.

Or threaten to call ‘cause you said something they don’t like. It’s a joke and a game they play. It’s not right and it messes with people’s time.

I am 3 months to the door and I’m excited to get out and get on with my life. I done four years to the door - flat and it’s been a long hard road. I “came out” to my

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family in 2014. Some accepted and some didn’t. To those who turned their backs - it’s your loss for not getting to know the woman I’ve become. Thanks to my real family who’ve stood by me. And thanks to my B&P family for all of the great insight, love, and encouragement.

This newsletter was a beacon of hope, love, and light in my darkest moments.

To everyone who’s struggling with something, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. You’ll always have someone in your corner cheering you on! Don’t give up hope. Keep your chin up and keep pushing forward. It’ll pay off and be worth it in the end.

I love you my fam! Until next time :) Love always, ya girl, Niko <3 (AK)

What If...

What if we cared, What if we dared...

What if we loved, What if we shared...

What if we were free, What if we could see...

What if we all tried, What if we never lied...

What if we stayed true, What if we could still be me and you...

What if we stood tall, What if we refused to fall...

By James W. (TX)

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February/March 2018

Black & Pink News

More Letters from Black & Pink Family Black and Pink, My family: how are all my family doing out there in the world? Well, as you all are aware, I am a 25 year old bisexual white male. My name is Jesse. But people give me a lot of nicknames that I don’t use but there are a few I do use. I am currently incarcerated in the Bible Belt (NE Arkansas). I had a moment, and did some really dumb things that I can’t really explain at the moment. At this place, you have to get a visitation/ phone form approved so I can’t call the support group to discuss my issues with anyone. Hell, can’t even really write about it. I am in a really bad situation and don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Some people accept me and know that I am bisexual but some call me gay for the stay and sometimes I have to hide the real me and say I’m straight.

There are many that call me an abomination yet those that accept me are the ones that I tend to trust, only to get hurt by them. Some people keep sending the newsletter no matter what. I will never stop my subscription. I am bi, my spirit may be wounded but I will always soar higher with the eagle of American patriotism. I got locked up at 18 and came to prison at 19. Now at 25, I missed many opportunities, seen a lot of things happen and made a lot of choices as a young adult, including getting involved and standing up for people who deserved it, whether they were affiliated or not, white or black, gay or straight. I believe in what our country stands for is EQUALITY.

The broke often become victims of other individual’s sick and twisted games. Sometimes we begin to care so much we don’t see the enemy right besides us and because of our caring nature, it costs us greatly.

There comes a time where being passive is no longer acceptable, we have to become what we don’t want to for survival. We must stand for our rights no matter how big or powerful the oppressor is. Together united hand in hand, stronger than ever. No matter color of skin, no matter sexual orientation, no matter political choice, no matter what you believe we must come together.

in line because anti-gay comments or actions can cost them their jobs. There are couples who sleep together, as long as staff can see 2 people for counts, it is tolerated.

Sincerely, Jesse (AK)

Dear B&P family,

Black & Pink Family, This is to all my brothers and sisters: happy New Year! I hope this will be a good one.

I would like to say to Miss Venus W from AR (December 2016): I read your letter and it really moved me.

Please know that I understand what you are going through. All I can say is that you have a family that supports you and your “partner”.

It will get better, it has to so put a smile on your face and stay strong.

Sometimes I find it hard to understand how states differ in the treatment of family. For example in California, even though sex is not approved of, we have condom dispensers in the housing units to help stop the spread of STDs. If someone files a PREA complaint, it is acted on swiftly. Officers are kept

So yes, I get angry when I hear of discrimination. I have been in prison since 1984 and I can say things are getting better. So please, hold on, and remember you are not alone.

All my family love, Keither (NJ) P.S. Thank you for the holiday card; it meant a lot.

My name is Iyena D. I’m a 33 year old transgender woman incarcerated in FDOC. I am serving a 30 year bid and have come in contact with B&P over many years but never was able to reach out to the LGBTQ family as I am in full need of all moral support of all. I go through many tests and trials in the world that I live in but I face it all with a smile in my face.

People that hate or dislike what I am or what I do, I keep it cute and keep it moving.

I would love to be placed on your mailing list to receive a subscription and we begin a budding relationship.

To my mother, Shirley; my LGBTQ mommy Destiny Dior; my big sis “Big Baby”: I love you all.

Iyena D. (FL)

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Volume 9, Issue 2

dear black and pink family, hey everyone it's your girl Nicki writing to all my fellow TLGBQ family currently incarcerated. I hope everyone is in good health and high spirits. As for me I am good!

I've been here in the pound going on 18 months! Supposedly Texas is supposed to start kicking out all drug related charges! But we all know how this shit in the system works! I'll believe it when I see it. I don't know if any of you remember me? I am a Hispanic transexual. I was an adult model / working girl before getting snitched on by my so called boyfriend.

Now I sit here in this redneck Texas prison! Stripped of all the things I love dear. Like my freedom, my beautiful long hair, bra, etc. This shit is not cute! Not only do I get hated on by some (gay inmates) I get hassled by the (gay guards)and a couple of female ones too!! Luckily I haven't had anything extremely crazy happen, because I'm seriously just waiting for one of them (the guards) to make that wrong move so I can make the right one! And utilize my rights against them and suppression system. The COs fail to realize by putting "us" in situations, they are putting "us" at bigger risk.

Not only by them, but by the other inmates!!!

I'm at a pre-release unit so it's cupcake here, but the guards are a lot crazier, but anyways to all the family out there dealing with these things, don't be afraid. Put that paper in their life. Especially my TS girls!! I love reading how empowering we all are becoming all around the world!!! Girls like: Laverne Cox, Cece, Isis are all

paving ways for us!! Anything is possible! Keep your heads up my love! Also shout out to you all my sisters and brothers that work out!!

Work bitches lol...

I recently lost 36 pounds. I stopped eating spreads weekdays and only spread on weekends. Basically weekends are my cheat days. I don't overindulge though. And drink lots of water and I've incorporated strength training into my workout. I do squats, lunges, squat thrusts, etc and I do a lot of cardio and abs. Also I love planks. I get a subscription to Shape and Fitness mag! So I use their workouts too!

Anyways I guess all and for now I'm submitting some of my poetry...

Hope y'all like my poems. I have a lot of stuff about heartache, betrayal and trust issues with men!! (The story of my life) but I guess I've said enough... I love you all!!

Till then your sister, Dominique "Nicki" E. (TX) Here Like a thief in the night you stole my heart At your will you had me from the start.

Willingly I let you kill me until I could no longer feel.

Beyond repair my heart will never hear.

My happiness you continue to steal.

Here in your hold my life is no longer real.

Death would be a beautiful bliss.

You out of my life is my last wish.

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Opposites Two different worlds, never the same.

And the truth is, loving you in the end, only caused me pain. I tried my hardest to get you to stay.

Maybe it wasn't me at all, maybe you just weren't gay. Lust can sometimes make us lose our mind.

Think about it, press rewind. Then you'll see all along.

That it wasn't love, it was all wrong.

Venus This isn't real I'm not who you need in your loving face.

I'm a burden baby, you live on earth, I'm from space.

Loving me will only turn to remorse.

No need to get married, if we are only going to get divorced. You say our love is like the stars.

Then why can't I see them? Maybe because there is no life on Mars.

My One It's him that I want to be with forever, he keeps me warm at night.

Our love is so misunderstood, wrong in the eyes of the world, but in my heart so right.

We live under our own rainbow of love, while the rest of the world lives in black and white.

They tried to bring us down and break us apart, but together we always win the fight.

Because what we share is unique in tremendous ways, no dark can overshadow our light.

My heart belongs to the one I love, & our bond reaches impossible heights.

And with him in my life the rest of the world is out of sight.

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Piece of shits What you want the one before wanted too.

But where is he now?

What happened to his feelings are true.

All this shit I've been through before, you're not the first, and still you continue to tell me you want more.

In the end I feel what is it all worth.

I don't want to get lost and only get hurt.

I don't want to love you and only have you leave.

I want to give you a chance, but it's very hard to believe.

These things I've heard and they all sound good.

But just like the one before, I don't know if I should.

Black and Pink This one goes out to all my brothers and sisters.

Don't let the pain consume you, don't let it blister.

When you feel you can no longer go on, Think of the rainbow that shines strong, Because even though you are alone right now in the pound. Your voice can be heard and your freedom will be found.

So don't give up my love, stand tall.

Together we are a force, divided we fall.

RAINBOW FORCE SOLDIERS AND WARRIORS: The War Is On The War is on between the LGBT people and “Ignorance, Violence, and Ostracism.” What are you going to DO or CONTRIBUTE, so

Black & Pink News

that us, the LGBT People, become Victorious? Or, are you going to let what happened to Gabriella Naverez, Aniya Parker, Islan Nettles, Penny Proud, Michelle Vash Payne, Ty Underwood, Lamia Beard, and Countless of our Fallen LGBT Brothers and Sisters, “GO” and go about your business? The war is on and to continue and to not take action, is to accept defeat...

We are living in a White Supremacist System (W.S.S) and with “Internal Oppression” (Within Many Black People). Within this White Supremacist System (W.S.S) is Housing, Employment, Law Enforcement, Security, Justice, Equality, Institutions, etc.etc., provided to them (W.S.S) and to us. This (W.S.S) Police, Govern, Teach, and Employ us. So, with this White Supremacists System (W.S.S) being Hostile, Hateful, and Violent towards Black, LGBT, and Other Citizens, what do we expect to happen when “They” (Those Who Perpetuate This W.S.S) Police Us, Govern Us, Teach Us, and Not Employ Us? What is going to happen is “Their” going to Terrorize us, “NOT” Justly Police Us. “Their” going to Create and Pass Laws to Criminalize, Suppress, and Disqualify Us (Govern). “Their” going to Teach Us, that we’re Inferior-and-Their-Superior, That Our Lifestyle is Immoral, and That We’re Disenfranchised. “Their” going to Employ Us at the “BareMinimum” Rate, only due to Civil Rights.

So let us not continue to be Fooled and Believe that this W.S.S will change.

Its (W.S.S) too deeply Rooted. This W.S.S will never change, Never!!!

Let us remember the War Is On. The Movement and War we must engage

February/March 2018

in, is establishing our own system.

Policing, Governing, Teaching, Defending, and Employing ourselves while simultaneously being within the Fabric of American Society. We must not support any Business, Media Outlet, or Policy that “FINANCE” and “PROMOTE” White Supremacy and that “FINANCE” and “PROMOTE” (Directly and Indirectly) “AntiBlack,” “Anti-LGBT,” “Mass Incarceration Expansion,” and “Anti-Semitic.” This in itself will make us Victorious in this war. --In regards to “Internal Oppression” (Within Many Black People), this issue will be dealt with as well, when we Police, Govern, Teach, Defend, and Employ our selves.

This is what the “RAINBOW FORCE” movement is about.

The Soldiers and Warriors of the RAINBOW FORCE are openly (L)G,B, and T. THese are the Masculine-Tough-Ass-Wise Men/ Women. These are Men/Women that exemplify that you can be like Hannibal Baca, Hercules, Mixed Martial Artist, Extreme Physical Athletes, Kings, Warriors, Soldiers, Street Smart, Alpha and Omega, yet still be Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender, and Be Respected and Socially Accepted.

The RAINBOW FORCE contribution to the Gay Movement is about Establishing, Promoting, and Maintaining a System (For Us

By Us) for all of us that is “AntiWhite Supremacist.” We are at war.

Our (RAINBOW FORCE) Warfare engagement is Twofold.

1) Policing, Governing, Teaching, Defending, and Employing Ourselves while simultaneously being within the Fabric of American

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Society.

2) Promoting the masses to Ban, Boycott, and Never Support “ANY” Business, Media Outlet, or Policy that “FINANCE” and “PROMOTE” White Supremacy and that “FINANCE” and “PROMOTE” (Directly and Indirectly) “AntiBlack,” “Anti-LGBT,” “Mass Incarceration,” and/or “AntiSemitic.”

This is my (OUR) contribution, and action to this war. This is my Response to those people that made us say, “Black Lives Matter” and “Black Trans Lives Matter.”

RAINBOW FORCE is a movement to establish respect as the platform to garner power in order for us to become Victorious. For this to happen, all of us thats incarcerated (And Free) must get our Minds, Bodies, Finances, and Spirits Riht and Strong. Mentally, we must be Intellectuals. Physically, we must be Fit and Wise in Combat (For Self-Defense Only). Financially, we should be Business Orientated.

Spiritually, we should be Holistic.

---Organize, Stand Up, and Never Back Down. Leave a Legacy for the next LGBT(Q) to come. Establish Respect... Get out of Prison and Join The Movement. Until then, Keep the movement Alive in Prison.

Strength is only in Numbers, Wisdom, and Collaboration. The Only way to win, is through Building and Maintaining a “Collaborative Force.” “They” (W.S.S) can beat on One of us, but they will fear the many thats together for a “Common Cause.” We need all Hands on deck.

That means Me, You, and All of Us. Fight Wisely and Relentlessly, wherever you can...

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REST IN POWER TO ALL MY FALLEN LGBTQ BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!

Su’ganni T. (MA) Dear Black & Pink Family, I am a 46 gay man. I am also a sex offender. I am doing 30 years for distribution of child porn via the internet. I am not proud of it. Just honest about it.

I have not been openly gay long.

But finally being open about being gay. I felt a weight been lift off of me. My family still loves me and support me. Most people here at FEI Ft. Worth have positive attitudes towards gays and the Transexuals.

There is still the negative jokes and attitudes. Most of the inmates and staff careless. The handful of small minded does make it hard. Being a gay sex offender, I learned along time ago to not give a crap what these small minded pigs think of me or who I am.

To all my sisters and brothers. I say be proud of who are!!! Tell the world. I am proud of who I am!!!

If the world don’t like it. They can kiss our rear ends.

Prison life is hard. Being from family and friends is hard. Having a caring relationship in prison is hard. But so is life in general. We do survive it!!!

I see a sister or brother have a hard time with prison or life. I just stop her/him and say let talk. My ears are made for listening. I’m here for you.

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This simple act can be a life saver.

Not for just her or him, but for yourself too. Sisters, Brothers stop bitching and start helping fellow sisters and brothers. Especially to the sisters and brothers you don’t like. Because we’re a family.

My soap box has finally crushed under me. I not perfect by no means. I am just tired of the negativity. That I keep hearing from my sisters and brothers. Stand tall with your head up! Be proud!

Save a life! It just might be your’s.

Sincerely Your Loving Brother Mark B. (TX)

YET AGAIN At the time of this writing the notorious LAPD had killed another brother in downtown Los Angeles.

Apparently this young man was an alleged robbery suspect and homeless man.

Though the local news did not show the actual shooting, as the story goes when the police approached the young man to supposedly question him he attempted to flee, and subsequently resisted being arrested, which led to a fight with police, which was caught on tape by one of the witnesses. The sound of the police tazer could be heard over the din of screaming voices in the melee, then five gun shots ring out, and there we are; another brother dead.

Though I am not a Los Angeles native, as an African American trans woman I have had my run ins with

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Black & Pink News

the LAPD. So I am never surprised at any reaction or over reaction to what they do. I in fact have been stopped under the infamous “you fit the description” bullshit.

I have also been stopped on more than one occasion for suspicion of prostitution. I in reality am a prostitute, however, (in point of fact) have only been arrested for prostitution once, since 1998. I have admittedly been very fortunate; but that’s neither here nor there. Point is, there is a very serious problem with Americas Law Enforcement agencies.

that was built (allegedly) on the same principles of freedom that are constantly being attacked? Under the current circumstances the U.S. Constitution doesn’t apply to us, (us being) prisoners in the grip of the storm troopers, and minorities.

When does it all change?

So the question is what are we gonna “ACTUALLY” do about this rise of cop killings. It seems to me that the police are being trained in extreme measures of harassment and homicide. Have we gotten to the point in America where we have entrusted our daily safety to a bunch of legal thugs and assassins?

“Texas Discrimination Inevitable?

Where does it end?”

What the hell is everybody marching for if no one is willing to go to wall and walk to the revolutionary talk.

It seems like the only blood being spilled in this revolution is that of the African American male. The only person being prosecuted for a hate crime in this country, is the gay or trans person who began as the victim. When does it all stop? When does a raised hand, turn into a raised fist? When do we start electing leaders that actually lead?

We, by me I mean the GAY LESBIAN AND TRANSGENDER community, along with the various ethnic minorities in the nation are under attack, it’s as if our differences have become a threat to those who feel as if the moral high ground they occupy is unimpeachable.

How is that possible in a country

Will I see another brother or gay or trans person brutalized on the news yet again.

Fatima Malika S. (CA)

Abuse. Sexism. Torture. Violence.

Homophobicism.

Retaliation.

Harassment. Where does it end?

Not only is our normal society being affected by the injustices of discrimination by race, gender or sexual orientation but our prison systems are immensely in effect.

This is nothing new, of course. Its been going on. Problem is the voices of the victims to this brutality are unheard, brushed off and ignored, or silenced by some form of violent abuse, retaliation, harassment or conspiracy.

Also, there is the torture encountered by those individuals in solitary confinement/Administrative segregation or “housed” offenders.

To be incarcerated in “double jeopardy.” Locked up on top of being locked up, so to speak. There are policies rules and laws in which prison officials and authorities fail to comply. Then there are those inmates who are reformed and rehabilitated. They meet the criterion to be promoted and released from Ad-Seg but the violations of the

February/March 2018

8th and 14th amendments sustains.

Retaliation from the offense committed prior to being placed in Ad-Seg is evident, substantially.

Abuse can be in any forms of verbal or physical matters which can leave an inmate to be in some type of mental or emotional anguish. From cell searches that leaves personal items/family pictures, mail, legal materials destroyed or damaged; unprofessional conduct including foul language usage, bullying tactics, taunting or ridiculing antics used by staff; bogus and fallible disciplinary cases written; harassing and singling out a particular offender based on looks of appearance, sexual orientation, race, or venality exploited due to officers “sticking together.” (Corruption!) The list continues impeccably, sad to say.

And to no avail, justice has yet to be executed.

Complaints go unheard. Grievances go uninvestigated. Texas prison systems are beyond maximum capacity, over filled with Blacks and Hispanics. Why? Because civil rights are prohibited in the state of Texas. Slavery was abolished a century ago but yet, its still slavery antagonism undergoing by segregation and prejudice alternatives.

Ad-seg is exactly what it intends to be. Segregation! But not for security reasons. Mostly Blacks and Hispanics are locked away in the dungeon, portrayed to be for safety, hidden from society, locked away and the key buried under the dirt that the Union and confederate soldiers fought on many years ago.

Sexism against women prisoners is in full throttle. Women are treated poorly because in a male-dominated

Volume 9, Issue 2

working environment, women inmates are to look and act a certain way. Brushed off and treated like an outcast because of how their hairstyle is, the color of their skin the color of their skin, their crime, or just because that officer is having a “bad day.” Homosexuals treated like monsters, looked upon as scum, treated like an assailant because of their sexual orientation.

Discrimination of all kinds of configurations is the epitome of Texas prisons.

The strategy of Ad-seg is just a “cover-up” for a new and improved technique of slavery or enslavement and bondage. (Working for free, being fed like pigs and dogs, treated like scavenges and being perceived as garbage.) Ad-seg is a method of torture utilized to be the destruction of an inmates’ mental, emotional, spiritual and physical well-being. The image portrayed for Ad-seg is supposedly for security, but the hidden visual is a dungeon of abuse, harassment, sexism, torture, violence, discrimination and homophobicism. Moral of the story is: Where does it end? Is Texas discrimination inevitable?

Britney G. (TX) Dear B&P and Family, This is my first letter to you all and am a newlysubscribed B&P member. An inmate I had befriended and who is part of the “community” had showed me the B&P newsletter and I was surprised that such material existed within the refines of both in prison and beyond. I’m a 25 year old gay man, who has been through much emotional turmoil in my three years in this New York

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prison. Recently more emotional stress has been put upon me, because I was assaulted by a C/O Sargeant and suffered a swollen shut black eye, a 1/2 inch gash, which needed four stitches, and a fractured nose. Obviously, I was commenced with a Tier III ticket for assaulting staff, in which I had never touched the Sargeant, but had told him I’d write him up because of his abusive derogatory language when I was trying to receive help from him of the misconduct of my dorm officer towards me. I’m serving 6 months SHU time, and put in my appeal already after I was found guilty. Other intentions is to bring a lawsuit against the state for excessive force and emotional and mental strain. Also a federal suit to sue the Sargeant and other C/ Os who failed to stop his violent conduct in their individual capacity in a 1983. It shouldn’t be so much about the money, but to show and make an example for guards to be discouraged of such misconduct.

Not only were my constitutional rights (8th) violated, but my physical and spiritual being were violated. Though, we all have to go through much stress and pain in prison, there is always some way to bring your individuality into light. If you are beaten down, don’t become the system’s pawn, but rise up and stand to fight what you believe is right. I have much to look forward to in life after my incarceration, such as my music (sing, guitar, bass, drums and trumpet), photography, videography, architectural design, and many other free spirited adventures. Why I mentioned this is because you have every right to be free of constraint and should never give up any aspirations and or goals you have in life. Be free and live free, but only for the betterment of

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yourself and others. Here is a quote from a Taoist: “Failure is an opportunity. If you blame others, there is no end to blame. Fulfill your obligations, correct your mistakes. Do what you need to do and step away. Demand nothing and give all.”

-Tao Te Ching.

To all my Wiccan brothers and sisters in the “community” and to those who aren’t, Blessed be and keep your head up and heart with love. I shall write plenty of more in the future.

Amor mis hermanos y hermanas, Wolfgang S (NY)

Love So Deep Love, what is love?

Love so deep and love is a river. Every touch of your hand makes me shiver. Love is so Deep. Love is a a Rose!

I love kissing the tip of your nose!

Love is so deep!

I want to love you from your head down to your toes.

Al love that makes the flowers grow!

Love so deep!

By Ricky H (WV)

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February/March 2018

Black & Pink News

Buscando Contribuciones

Call for Submissions

¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!

Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.

Estamos buscando contribuciones en español para nuestras secciones de Cartas a Nuestra Familia y Poesía del Corazón. Por favor envía tu contribución escrita en forma legible y de no más de tres páginas a: Black & Pink — ESPAÑOL Damos la bienvenida a cualquier escrito de tu creación, pero dado el espacio y la variedad, no todas las contribuciones pueden ser aceptadas. Al enviar tu contribución, das permiso a Black & Pink para publicar tus escritos en forma impresa y en internet.

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