black and pink news
Volume 12, Issue 5
Family, I never imagined in a million years that I would be a sex educator. As a young person who grew up in the system, learned the important lessons of my 20’s behind the wall and began my 30’s unclear of what I wanted and who I am…becoming a Sex Educator was a gift. Through my development as a sex educator, I established values for myself that would have radically changed my perspective of what I deserve and what I want to offer. Yes, comprehensive sex
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education will inform you about the expiration date on a condom, the benefit of a dental dam or pull out method…but there is so much more. I discovered the language to educate people AND MYSELF on what LOVE looks like for me.
I think back on my incarceration and I remember feeling so alone. I would focus on never wanting to “feel” alone again. But what I needed to do was to focus on how I would attract healthy, restorative, and transformative love in my world.
What I deserve. What I want to give to people I care for and love. Boundaries. Deal Breakers. Autonomy. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS‼️
You deserve radical love based in your vision.
Today I actually love myself. More than ever.
Dominique
I pray that for you and I speak that to life for us all. I love you all.
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In This Issue p5 - Letter from Dominique Morgan p7 - An Update on Our Format p8 - Reclaim Your Power p9 - The Build Up p10 - You Can Get Sexual, Too p11 to 14 - No Touching Allowed For Many LGBTQ+ People In Prison p15 to 18 - It’s 2021. Why Are Doctors Still Trying To “Cure” Asexuality? p21 to 30- Letters and Poems From Our Inside Family p31 to 35 - Coloring and Activity Pages
Cover Image “We Keep Each Other Safe” by Amir Khadar Inside cover art by MR (ID) Back cover art by Katie Chung, courtesy of amplifier. org
Black & Pink News
NOVEMBER 2021
Disclaimer
Statement of Purpose
The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the Internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the Internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our antioppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 20,000 people!
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Some Changes to Our Format You may notice that this month’s issue looks a little different than it has in the past. We have added a plain, white, wraparound cover to each issue. While we hate to dim our vibrancy for anyone, the fact is many of our family members have expressed a concern about increased risk of violence when Black & Pink News rolls into the mail. We take these concerns very seriously and never want to be the cause of any harm to our inside family. So, going forward, we will attempt to make the magazine more discreet on the outside.
We will keep the inside as vibrant as ever with pullout posters, bright covers and illustrations by our family. If you are experiencing violence or otherwise being targeted for your gender, sexuality, race or any other reason, please do not hesitate to reach out to our Advocacy team. We may take a bit to reply as we receive a lot of mail but would love to be able to stand up for you and keep you safe. Thank you to all of our family members who wrote to tell us about the issues they faced receiving the magazine. Your
labor and fortitude is immense and we are so grateful. If you have any thoughts about these changes, positive, negative or neutral, please don’t hesitate to write us. Black & Pink - Letter to Editor 6223 Maple St. PO Box 4600 Omaha, NE 68105 Solidarity, love and support, Andrea K and the rest of the Black & Pink Newsletter Team
art by Bec Young, courtesy of JustSeeds
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Black & Pink News
By Brooke Monaco, Black & Pink Wellness Coordinator I was reminded of the quote “you’re only as young as your spine is flexible” by Joseph Pilates, and it has inspired this article. When thinking of retaining or restoring a healthy spine, most people go directly to yoga or pilates, and that assumption is with good reason. Both yoga and pilates require and encourage the use of the spine. But there are so many ways to get a healthy spine just through breath and natural movement, and that’s what I want to explore. Simple, easy ways to create a healthy spine without yoga. The first way of promoting a healthy spine is breath. As a 500 hour certified yoga instructor, I can confidently say that most positives to your health always revolve around breath and it is no different here. Breathing in and out through the belly, activating the diaphragm, is the stabilizer of the spine. This allows us to move smoothly and organically, because the nervous system feels safe and stable. The breath protects the spine!
The second way is drinking water. Drinking enough water to keep the body hydrated to keep the elasticity and fluidity moving through joints. Another reason drinking 1 to 1.5 liters of water a day is important, but you can also find water in many fruits and vegetables that will help reach the daily goal! The third is upper spine, neck movements. Moving your head up and down, side to side creates natural movement in the vertebrae in the neck. You can also drop your ear to your shoulder, roll it down through the center towards your chest, over to the left side, drawing the left ear to the left shoulder - repeating the pattern through the center of the front part of your body. Simple movement can sometimes be the most impactful on the body. The fourth is making time to roll. Literally rolling in bed or on the floor provides nourishment through rotation in the spine that helps keep the spine young and healthy. Make time when you wake up in the morning, to take a couple rolls for your spine. You can always try before bed
as well, being mindful that this motion could prevent you from falling asleep at night. Fifth is posture. Being aware of your daily posture to avoid putting any stress throughout the spine, that may be locking it up throughout the day. Let the spine be long and tall, the crown of the head draws up and the shoulder blades draw back towards each other. Lastly, proper nutrition and diet. Healthy foods can provide nutrients that prevent spinal disorders like osteoporosis and osteoarthritis.
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“Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…”
gaining skills that are needed to navigate relationships and manage one’s own sexual health.
Those are some of the lyrics to Salt-N-Pepa’s hip hop song “Let’s Talk About Sex”, released in 1991. The song went gold and peaked at No. 13 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. It was even nominated for a Grammy in 1992 for Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group. This all female group sparked much needed conversation and embodied part of that conversation in their musical offerings. Indeed, conversations about and around sex were in order then and are still in order now.
CSE can include, but is not limited to, topics such as human anatomy, pregnancy, contraception (birth control), healthy relationships, consent, HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), sexual orientation and gender identity, decision making, and more. The list may seem extensive, but it is believed by supporters of CSE that this all inclusive list of subjects helps create wellrounded, adequately equipped individuals.
With so much public discourse currently about the banning of Comprehensive Sex Ed (CSE), it would do us well to grab hold of accurate definitions. As the Women’s Fund of Omaha’s Manager of Education, Lisa Schulze often states, “Language constructs thought.” Planned Parenthood advises that CSE includes information on a variety of topics related to sex and sexuality, exploring values, and beliefs about those topics, and
Consider the sexual health information you received as a child/youth. Ask yourself if you found that information to be adequate. Was the information rooted in shame? Did they attempt to scare you? Was the information you received and/or the source you received it from medically accurate? Did you get the information you needed before or after the fact? There are so many factors in our childhood education that impact how we show up in
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the world as adults. CSE is a necessary framework as we seek to provide tools not simply for a healthy sex life, but for a healthy life in general as well as a healthy mindset in realms that intersect with sex and sexuality. As a Pastor serving in the sexual health field, dare I add that the subject of faith as a critical lens to add to the conversation as well. Our bodies are divine and our physical being intersects with, interacts with, and/ or is connected to our spirit, our mind, our emotions. If we only put forth the effort to sharpen and equip ourselves in all areas except the body, we are mishandling the divine instrument known as our physical being. We are multidimensional beings. We are psycho, social, spiritual, and yes even sexual beings. Every layer mentioned has its own sublayers that we would do well to dig into and educate ourselves on, including sex, sexuality, and the subjects that inform those subjects. May we seek to be our best in every aspect of our existence!
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Black & Pink News
You Can Get Sexual Too Incarceration should not mean the end of your sexual self By Kenna, Advocacy Coordinator for Black & Pink Having a healthy sex life is when we care for ourselves through check ups and testing, using protection, having conversations about consent, and exploring what brings us pleasure. We often see sex depicted in prisons as traumatic or as a punishment but we never hear people talk about the moments of liberation or feelings of “normal” it can bring. The job of the prison industrial complex is to take away your joy and pleasure. But to take away something that you were born with, that is the most human thing ever, is impossible. People have always been sexual in prison. People will always be sexual in prison. And when I say sexual, I’m including masturbation, fantasizing, dancing, moving your body, and breath work among so many other things! Our bodies give us rewards for being sexual, just like it does when we eat food and exercise.
It is essential to our humanity, and I mean that literally. You are a human, you are innately born to feel sexual pleasure. Fetuses have been found to touch their genitals in utero, elderly people have sex (a lot more than you think). We are sexual as a way to play, a way to express feelings and as a way to boost some feel good hormones. The magical, and pretty unique thing about sexual experiences is that you can tap into them alone or with others. Finding your own version of sexuality can be a tool to heal trauma; starting slow and with grace for yourself is key. Sometimes we have to completely relearn what we enjoy sexually after trauma and that takes time. Follow your thoughts without shame, remember that thought does not equal action and it may lead you down a path of understanding and healing for yourself.
So where do we find the pleasure and joy in our sexual selves in an institution that is hellbent on taking that away? The first step is knowing your sexual self is there for you to tap into at any time and is meant to bring you pleasure. Knowing you own it. Knowing that it IS yours and no one can EVER take it away. Maybe your sexual self has had to get quiet or has even had to disappear for a while. But it’s not gone. You were born to feel pleasure and you will die needing pleasure. It belongs to you no matter what. It looks different for each person but that’s a whole other conversation! So you have homework my friends. When it feels safe, find something that brings you sexual pleasure. Move your hips, caress your body until you find a place that excites you, embrace your younger self and just play! You are precious and you deserve to feel good.
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No Touching Allowed for Many LGBTQ+ People in Prison Behind Bars, Consensual Sex or Even Friendly Gestures Are Often Met with Solitary Confinement and Other Harsh Punishments By Lizzie Kane, courtesy of Solitary Watch After a Thanksgiving Day meal, “J,” who was incarcerated at North Central Correctional Institute in Massachusetts, complained of a stomach ache. His friend Carlos, who requested to be identified by his first name only, leaned down from his top bunk and rubbed J’s head jokingly. “There, there,” he said, as the men laughed. Later that day, Carlos, who identifies as gay, was taken to solitary confinement in the Special Housing Unit (SHU). Carlos’s friendly head pat had been noticed by a correctional officer, who told him, “I don’t care what you are, but you’re a man, and what I saw was PREA.” The officer was accusing Carlos of violating the rules laid out in the Prison Rape Elimination Act, a 2003 federal law that aims to protect incarcerated people from sexual violence by establishing clearer procedures, collecting better data, and providing resources to correctional institutions. Fortunately for Carlos, other prison officials took his side and he was soon released from the SHU. But he should never have been there in the first
place: Platonic physical touch, like his interaction with J, is not prohibited by PREA standards. Despite his unfair placement, Carlos’s weekend stay in “the hole” caused him to permanently lose his place in his housing unit and, therefore, his job, as well as the good time credits he had built up to reduce his sentence by participating in programming. Carlos’s story is not unique. Although PREA was backed by many advocacy groups and passed by Congress with unanimous bipartisan support, a law is only as good as its implementation. From Carlos’s letter to Solitary Watch, multiple interviews with other formerly and currently incarcerated individuals, and accounts from advocates, it is clear that PREA’s intent is at times being twisted or misinterpreted to cause additional harm. Correctional officers in many prisons and jails prohibit platonic touching, issue disciplinary infractions based on their own personal biases and beliefs instead of the official rules, conflate consensual sex with rape, and appropriate PREA standards
not to protect, but to punish. This misuse of PREA leads to unfair punishment, including time in solitary confinement, and is far more likely to affect LGBTQ+ individuals, who are already incarcerated at disproportionately high rates. Several LGBTQ+ people also emphasized to Solitary Watch how their treatment in the system was further compounded by their racial identities. Punished for Platonic Touching Michael Cox, executive director for Black and Pink Massachusetts (which is not affiliated with the national organization of the same name), had an experience similar to Carlos’s. When he was incarcerated in the same Massachusetts prison in 2011, Cox and his friend—both of whom were openly LGBTQ+— hugged goodbye in the prison yard. He said correctional officers approached them, led by a lieutenant, who ordered, “Lock them up.” When Cox asked why they were being punished, he was told the hug was a PREA violation. Like Carlos, he spent the
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NOVEMBER 2021
especially likely to be placed in solitary, often as “protective custody,” a form of solitary confinement used with the intent of removing people from unsafe environments.
art by Kenneth E. (FL)
And although PREA does not ban hugging, some prisons have. Kelly Savage-Rodriguez, a program coordinator with the California Coalition of Women Prisoners (CCWP), was incarcerated in a California prison for almost two decades; for eight years of that time, the prison had a memorandum prohibiting hugs.
weekend in solitary before the administration reviewed his case and let him out. “It was very apparent that it was just a hug,” Cox said. “And even if the suspicion was that we were in an intimate relationship, that shouldn’t be enough to put someone in solitary confinement. It is stigmatizing for LGBT people that we are treated differently than others while in the system. It happens all the time.”
In the largest-ever survey of incarcerated LGBTQ+ individuals, 85 percent of the 1,118 respondents reported spending time in solitary confinement—half of whom said they were in solitary for two or more years. The survey, which was conducted by Black & Pink, a national nonprofit organization that advocates for the abolition of prisons, further found that respondents of color were twice as likely as white respondents to have experienced isolation. Transgender individuals were
She said the ban made her job as a grief counselor more difficult. “It was really inappropriate when we would have somebody who the sergeant or captain notified of a loss, and [the individual] couldn’t even get a hug in a serious grief moment,” Savage-Rodriguez said. Risks of Consensual Relationships While platonic touching is prohibited in certain prisons and jails, consensual sex is banned almost everywhere, and often leads to time in solitary. But some people who are in consensual relationships are targeted by correctional officers more so than others. Savage-
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Rodriguez, for example, was incarcerated in the same facility as her spouse, both of whom are white. They were allowed to remain housed together, which Savage-Rodriguez believes was because they looked feminine and led programming in the prison. Krystal Shelley, an activist who also works at CCWP, was not as fortunate. Shelley, who does not identify as male or female and is Black, said that while they were sharing a cell with their partner at Valley State Prison for Women, correctional officers planted a shank under their mattress. Shelley was sent to the SHU. “It was falsified documentation upon me, just due to the fact that they did not want me living with my partner,” Shelley said. Then a second shank was planted under their bed, they said, leading to another sixmonth stay in solitary. Dominique Morgan, the executive director of Black & Pink and a Black trans woman, was punished with solitary confinement and separated from her partner as well during her incarceration. At age 19, Morgan entered the Omaha Correctional Center, an adult facility for men, after having spent many of her teenage years in juvenile detention. Around that same time, she started to identify as female. Morgan met Doug, who was incarcerated in the facility as well, and fell in love. They made plans together for when they
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got out; they introduced each other to their families. Morgan leaned on Doug as she grieved the death of her father. “I was building a family in a space where I felt alone,” she said. But after two years, their consensual sexual activity was reported by another incarcerated individual, and they were sent to solitary for 90 days, which she says was an unusually long stint. “The irony was that I would see people who were being pressured [into sex], and the state would never step in in those situations,” Morgan said. After those 90 days, Morgan and Doug were sent to solitary in separate prisons—Morgan to a maximum security facility. The review board at that facility repeatedly recommended her release from solitary, but each time the warden appealed to keep her in. “I remember thinking: ‘I’m not violent…I’m stuck in this hole. I’m scared. I’m alone,’” Morgan said. “It was sad to realize it was all because of my sexual orientation and gender identity.” After 18 months, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Nebraska intervened, and Morgan was released from solitary. “I was happy to [go to the general population], but I was even more afraid because you took me from a minimum security prison and then you are going to put me in the general
population in the supermax prison?” Morgan said. She added that this happened 20 years ago, and she is hearing similar stories from incarcerated people now. PREA Problems Abound The PREA Resource Center (PRC), which is funded by the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), is charged with carrying out the work of PREA by implementing training sessions and reviewing audits. The PREA standards require all correctional facilities to track incidents and undergo PREA audits at least once every three years, which are conducted by third-party individuals trained and certified by the DOJ. Since the PREA Standards were implemented, reports of sexual victimization filed by correctional officers have increased significantly, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Researchers at the Urban Institute believe that the increase in reports may be a sign that incarcerated individuals are increasingly likely to trust the system now that PREA has been in place for some time. Yet, experts are still concerned about the usage of the policy. Amy Fettig—the executive director of the Sentencing Project, a nonprofit fighting against mass incarceration—was trained as a PREA auditor and spent years working to help finalize the standards in her former role as deputy director
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of the ACLU’s National Prison Project.
different from men, according to Abbate.
Many are concerned that PREA is “being used as a sword instead of a shield,” Fettig said. “Anecdotally, we have heard from clients that affectionate behavior is being criminalized because there is animus towards the LGBT community in prisons.”
“Women have platonic relationships oftentimes where they might hold hands, or hug each other, or put their arms around each other.” She, too, said she has heard of certain jurisdictions incorrectly punishing platonic touching as alleged PREA violations.
But this is not the law’s intent. Fettig said that correctional officers and facilities are interpreting the law differently. “PREA doesn’t say no touching…I think when we have seen PREA abused, it is more about homophobia than anything else.” Cox, from Black and Pink Massachusetts, agrees. He said he does not believe he would have been punished for giving a hug if not for PREA. In his view, after their training, “the takeaway from guards was that anything LGBT-related is now criminalized.” Julie Abbate, the national advocacy director for the nonprofit Just Detention, which works to end sexual abuse behind bars, noted that physical touch is complex. “In men’s facilities, what looks like what might be consensual [to staff] could be what is called ‘protective pairing,’ where somebody who is maybe more vulnerable agrees to pair up with a stronger inmate and provide sex in exchange for protection,” she said. But women’s behavior is often
To address this, correctional staff should receive a “deeper, nuanced training and understanding of human sexuality,” Abbate said, as well as better training for the signs of coercive or protective relationships. Morgan, from Black & Pink, believes PREA generally leaves too much discretion in the hands of correctional officers. “You left the power in the institutions who were harming them [incarcerated individuals] in the first place,” she said. Some of the PRC’s weakness stems from a general lack of resources, as well as a reliance on private contractors to act as the auditors overseeing PREA implementation, Fettig said. She would rather see more power and authority in the hands of a government oversight agency. Abbate said the PRC has taken on an increased workload since its creation, to the point where it could double in size. Asked to comment on Solitary Watch’s findings, the PREA Resource Center provided a statement saying that if facilities
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request support in “achieving and maintaining compliance with the PREA Standards,” the PRC and PREA Management Office offer assistance. Requests from facilities “regularly” pertain to protecting LGBTQ+ individuals, according to the statement. Long-Lasting Trauma Being sent to solitary confinement for any length of time or for any reason can have devastating mental health effects. Since his time in solitary for platonic touching, Carlos said he has developed issues with anxiety. “The sound of keys and [hand]cuffs ‘triggers’ me—even a phone ringing or my name being called by an officer,” he wrote to Solitary Watch. Isolation has also left an indelible mark on Shelley, who spent two one-year stints in solitary confinement, as well as additional sporadic time throughout their incarceration. Although they came home in 2012, they said the experience of solitary continues to make it harder to communicate, which in turn makes everyday tasks difficult. “It is 2021. Solitary confinement is still affecting me today,” Shelley said. “I tend to want to be alone often…And don’t get me wrong, I go out—but I definitely don’t go out and live life as much as I should.”
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It’s 2021. Why Are Doctors Still Trying to “Cure” Asexuality? by Michele Kirichanskay, reprinted courtesy of Bitch Media In a 2012 episode of House, titular protagonist Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) attempts to disprove a couple’s claim that they’re asexual. In House’s view, the only people who don’t “want” sex are “sick, dead, or lying.” The episode resolves with the doctor discovering that the husband has a pituitary tumor that affects his sex drive (note: sex drive ≠ asexuality), and that his wife was just lying to preserve her husband’s pride. In other words, House was right: Asexuality wasn’t real, and it’s often a symptom of a medical issue. Unfortunately, House’s mentality is all too common in the real world. “As discriminatory as this is in fiction, it’s really not too far from what I’ve actually experienced,” asexual (or ace) artist Courtney Lane says. “Not only does it lead to fear and mistrust, but it does real, tangible harm diagnostically and financially.” Lane has a disability, the nature of which she didn’t disclose, that requires her to undergo an above-average number of X-rays in a given year. Before the X-rays are conducted, she has to take a mandatory pregnancy test, even though she’s repeatedly shared that she’s asexual. “I’ve quite literally been sitting in my doctor’s office having difficulty breathing and urgently
needing a lung X-ray to check for pneumonia while waiting on a urinalysis to come back and tell my doctors the obvious,” she says. “It’s humiliating to not be believed by the people I’m supposed to trust to oversee my health, but it’s also tremendously expensive when all of these little costs throughout the year add up.” Because of doctors’ assumptions, Lane’s been forced to pay out of pocket for certain procedures, such as urine tests, and has endured unnecessary emotional stress. “My disability has riddled my medical history with question marks, and not all physicians are prepared to diagnose or treat something so rare and underresearched,” she says. “I’ve seen firsthand how harmful it can be when doctors try to pathologize your illness when they’ve run out of ideas. I don’t want doctors to pathologize my illness, and I don’t want doctors to medicalize my sexual orientation, but I find that the two often go hand in hand. It’s exhausting.” The pathologizing of LGBTQ+ people isn’t new: Until 1973, the American Psychiatric Association equated queerness with being “crazy” in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). Though the DSM no longer lists “homosexuality” as a mental illness, the manual’s fifth edition relates asexuality
to a condition called hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD, defined by “low sexual desire accompanied by marked distress or interpersonal difficulties.” Whether this distress is attributed to having “low sexual desire” or is associated with existing as asexual in an allonormative/aphobic society is the question. When people in the asexual community come out, they’re oftentimes met with incredulity and/ or skepticism from family, friends, and even medical practitioners. Lane says they’ve “experienced burdensome biases from healthcare providers” throughout their life, which has contributed to a “culture of distrust in medicine when it comes to patients who are women and/or exist within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.” According to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, asexuality is defined as a “person who does not experience sexual attraction.” It isn’t equivalent to celibacy, and while some asexual people may not experience sexual attraction—demisexuals and graysexuals can be an exception—they can experience other types of attraction, including romantic, sensual, and aesthetic, as well as other types of human connection. Contrary to popular belief,
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asexuality isn’t the same as aromanticism, the orientation defined by a lack of romantic attraction, though there are aces who identify as both asexual and aromantic (otherwise known as aroaces). As one of the most underrepresented groups—often termed the “invisible orientation”—within the LGBTQ+ community, asexuals face a number of challenges, including being discriminated against by medical professionals. Because they may be pathologized, many asexuals fear going to the doctor’s office, particularly when they’re seeing a physician about their sexual or reproductive health.
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In her 2020 book, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen explains extensively the medical bias asexuals (both disabled and nondisabled) face. “Medical authority can be powerful even when it is imaginary,” she writes. “Doctors encourage aces to ask ourselves if we’re sick and doctors also diagnose and make declarations without caring what an ace person might think.” I experienced this firsthand a few years ago, when I visited an ob-gyn for a clinical breast exam and routine checkup and decided to share that I’m asexual. I couldn’t tell if I wanted
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to gauge my doctor’s reaction or if I just wanted to be fully honest with the medical practitioner tasked with helping me take the best care of my body. After I told her, she offhandedly mentioned the idea of prescribing me medication. A chill that had nothing to do with my exposed chest went through me. I was relieved when I learned I didn’t have to return to that same office for reproductive care. To this day, I can’t remember exactly what kind of medication my practitioner wanted to prescribe me, nor exactly what it was for. But I do remember her tone, the way she so easily suggested treatment as if there
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were something I needed to be cured of, as if my asexuality needed to be cured. I’m not alone in this experience. “I’ve had to find a new primary care provider a few times…and every time I do, they ask a bunch of questions about my sexual history,” S., who didn’t disclose their last name, says. “I always flinch a little. It catches me off guard that I’m apprehensive about talking about my lack of sexual activity, even with my care provider, because of a few experiences with nonmedical folks that make me fear [my asexuality] will be ridiculed or believed.” Some asexuals I spoke with for this article said some doctors have expressed disbelief before offering hormonal therapy and other unwanted treatments that invalidated their identity and needs. Some were told their orientation stemmed from a psychological issue such as trauma, and/or referred to services equivalent to conversion therapy. Some doctors default to prescribing medication to their asexual patients, believing their asexuality may be a mask for other health issues. Others automatically assume a patient’s low sex drive is a symptom of hormonal imbalances or some other ailment, or a side effect of medication. (For the record, asexuality is defined by attraction rather than sex drive or libido, which asexuals may experience to varying degrees.) Asexual people aren’t broken— and doctors shouldn’t treat us as if we are.
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As such, when many asexuals disclose their identity, doctors attempt to “treat” their asexuality like it’s a medical issue instead of a legitimate identity of which they claim ownership. When a system is calibrated in favor of a supposed “majority,” the system then neglects and harms minority groups. Take, for example, healthcare’s noted racial biases, which create treatment disparities between white patients and patients of color or queerphobic biases that leave those who don’t have sex with cis men at a noted disadvantage. Trans people seeking trans-inclusive medical care often face obstacles, from legal targeting to a lack of respectful clinical training. The fear of being misgendered is enough to keep some trans people from going to the doctor, afraid of the dysphoria that will trigger more pain instead of decreasing it. “It’s hard to feel safe talking to a medical professional whose priorities may be so different from yours,” M. Rodriguez, an asexual woman and medical practitioner, explains. “For example, people have tried to deny me needed medications to save my nonexistent libido and sex life, attempted to refuse me treatment for fear of damaging an impossible pregnancy, and derailed entire appointments about other things to try to fix some aspect of my asexuality despite my protest. I have always been lucky enough to be able to advocate for and get the care I needed in the end. But it should have never been that difficult in the first place.”
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I’ve had to learn about asexuality mostly on my own. There was no mention of it in my sex-education classes in high school or college, so I combed through various websites and books to find stories that matched my own and helped validate that I was not strange, weird, or “broken,” as so many people in my asexual community grow up believing about themselves. I’m now at a point where I’m in community with other asexuals and can even claim pride over this part of myself. But the idea that I might step into a doctor’s office and be told I need to be cured of something I’ve just learned to be proud of is heartbreaking and exhausting. Thanks in part to Yasmin Benoit, David Jay, and other activists, there’s a growing awareness about the needs of the asexual community. Asexual people are also becoming better advocates for themselves, but that burden shouldn’t be entirely on our shoulders. People like me shouldn’t have to be afraid of going to the doctor, of having unnecessary tests, procedures, or medications pushed on us because of assumptions made about our sexuality and/or lack of sexual activity. By creating uncomfortable environments for their patients, doctors reinforce the idea that patients will not be able to trust their medical providers. And by not trusting your medical providers, ace and other queeradjacent folk will be less inclined to go to them for assistance, which puts our lives at risk. Medical establishments treating both physical and mental
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health need to expand their education, constantly update their terminology, and work to provide inclusive care. When I revealed to my therapist that I was asexual, she was affirming and positive about my orientation. In turn, I felt safe in our sessions, which allowed me to open up more. While no one can expect their healthcare providers to be aware of every issue, doctors and other medical
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professionals should be open to learning—and to admitting they’re not the ultimate authority on their patients’ needs. It’s up to the medical establishment to become more inclusive and to learn about the sociopolitical issues that could be affecting their patients’ mental and/or physical health. Most importantly, the medical community must learn and constantly understand
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that asexuality is a real identity. Asexuality isn’t an internet sexuality or a medical dysfunction. Asexual people aren’t broken—and doctors shouldn’t treat us as if we are.
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art byGrae Rosa, courtesy of For The People Artists Collective
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art by Black & Grae Pink Rosa News
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‘I believe our work will be unfinished until not one human being is hungry or battered, not a single person is forced to die in war, not one innocent languishes imprisoned, and no one is persecuted for his or her beliefs.’ - Leonard Peltier, American Indian Movement (AIM) warrior. He is imprisoned for the 1975 shoot-out between the FBI and AIM in which two federal agents and an indigenous man were killed. Four years after his imprisonment, a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request released documents which prove Leonard Peltier’s innocence and the FBI’s targeting him. And still, Peltier remains imprisoned. whoisleonardpeltier.info
Volume 12, Issue 5
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Letters from our Inside Family To My Family Within and Outside These Walls, I never really thought I’d send in a newspaper submisison, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from 2020 its that my voice is the most powerful tool that I have in my belt, and to stay quiet would be an injustice. My name is Lakynn G., but most of everyone calls me Sunshine. I’m a 22 year old Trans Woman currently in [a facility] on the East Side of Washington State. I told myself I’d make use of this year to dig deep and re-discover myself and to live my most authentic self. So far I’m doing well. This year has brought many good things as well as many bad. Our Nation has been tested to the core with COVID-19, and the current administration has failed at every aspect throughout this pandemic. Thank the Gods that the peoples voices were heard and the Biden-Harris administration is coming into office. WE CAN ALL FINALLY TAKE A SIGH OF RELIEF; but idle hands are the Devil’s workshop. There’s still lots of hard work to do. The passing of RBG and the rush to appoint a new supreme justice was a real slap into the face, but we can’t say we expected anything less, we deserve so much more though. COVID has hit hard but thank goodness for the positive efficacy rate of these vaccines. More than ever, this is the time to be there for our brothers and
sisters. 2020 has also been a cornerstone in my life as I’ve made the decision to start hormone replacement therapy and start the next phase in my transition. I’ve also had and still have to fight past discrimination because the medical provider here is refusing to prescribe me these much needed medications. I’m going on month 11 but I’m not giving up. I’ve recently come out to my family, and although I was welcomed as who I truly am by some of my family, I was also shunned by many. What I say next is for those too afraid to reveal who they are and live openly without fear of persecution: LIVE like no one is watching! Live without fear or regret! Take comfort in the weight you’ll feel lifted off your shoulders, you’re not alive to tiptoe through life!! You’re a blessing and a miracle and deserving of love and should move through life without looking back. Take it one step at a time, always moving forward, and if the people in your life love you, then let them move forward with you watching you blossom into the flower you were meant to be. And if you have to leave someone behind, give them time, if they truly love and support you they’ll find there way back to you. I’d like to close with my favorite quote from Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter movies
which I think serves it’s purpose, especially after a year like this one: “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the lights.” In loving solidarity, Lakynn (WA)
Black & Pink, What’s good fam? My name is Jacob but since I was a kid I’ve gone by Bo-Bo. Until recently, I was a member of a white supremacy organization with family ties to another. Since I was a child, I would feel uncomfortable around anyone that was part of the LGBTQ community and would do my best to ignore them. I was messed with when I was nine and would associate that experience with the community. In 2010, I was 17 years old and arrested for attempted murder. Being young and not really understanding how to control my emotions, I just focused on hate and was hateful towards others. Thankfully over the past couple years, I met a few good people who helped me to view the world differently. I started to let go of the hate I held for no reason, realizing it’s no one’s fault but my own for why I’m locked up and the world is NOT black and white but all colors. Then I met a dude who I now
art by Monica Trinidad
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Volume 12, Issue 5
blackandpink.org
Letters from our Inside Family
look up to as a brother, more so than those who are blood related to me. He is Black. I was evolving as a human being and with his help, I opened my eyes fully and also realized due to my past of being uncomfortable is because I was attracted to not just (cis) women. And a few months ago, I met and fell in love with a trans woman, Nichole. Now I’ve been in love before, that was with my son’s mother, but goddamn this woman has me feeling things I never felt before. You see my dilemma with the organization I was a part of. So I got in touch with some key members and told them I was falling back and will no longer follow them and was gonna leave that life behind. Upon my release, I’m planning to get my racist tattoos removed. They asked why, I proudly stated ”I’m in love with a trans woman! And I’m choosing her, my son and the possible future with her!” I know I will face consequences in and out of prison. Ya know what? I don’t give a flying fuck! I wanted to share a little of my story in case someone reading this may be in a similar situation and let them know you’re not alone. It’s 2021, let go of hate and judgment. The world is not black and white, it’s a rainbow. It’s time to be your true self. To my brother and beloved Nichole, thank you for helping me to evolve into the man I now am.
To Black & Pink, thank you for allowing me to share a party of my life story. I love you Nichole, until the cosmos ends! - Jacob AKA Yum-Yum (IL) Dear Black and Pink, It’s Ms. Jennifer C. of Smyrna, Delaware wanting you girls to know that I’ve been a subscriber for a while now and came out as female in the end of 2015 but then got kicked off a Christian choir at prison chapel in May of 2016. Here in this jail, though we have undergarments and secret deodorants, the items ‘approved’ list hasn’t been making it to the ‘commissary’ list in over a year and because of it, I got a class 2 write up for my hair ties. With me being a Christian minister since 2012 and wanting to live a true and honest lifestyle, one of the write up charges was ‘lying’ saying I got the hair ties from mental health. I told and kept telling the guard that items are approved for the prison but not all items are in the commissary. When she said “who in particular gave you this hair tie?”, so now she wants me to snitch and put my life in danger. First, my prognosis states I operate ‘mentally on a 6th grade level and gross motor movement’ (stating I’m an eleven year old girl) in a men’s jail and so she is endangering the welfare of a child.
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Well I’ll let you all know how this goes next time! I wish all my girls success and please let me know what your prison accepts to be sold in commissary and state you’re in so I can have mental health in Delaware - do research! Peace!! - Jenn (DE)
To B&P, What’s good Black & Pink Fam! From LA to NYC, Green Bay to Roma, Texas. I hope y’all doing good thru these times ... at least the world is opening up slowly ... just know each and every one of you are not alone. I’m happy and proud of all LGBTQ+ fam in the state-federal prison systems who are still standing tall, doing they thang and still being 100% true to themselves. Me as a bisexual male, I’m 27 years old ... I’ve been down in the federal system since I was 19 years old. I’ve never changed for no one. I’m half NativeMexican. Of course I’ve had some bumpy rides but at the end of the day, I’m proud of who I am and what I stand for and the LGBTQ+ is one of them. This has been a crazy ass ride for me in the fedz but soon I will be going home ... I just know a lot of people I’ve met in here around the U.S. Some people shouldn’t be in here but everybody fucks up. Some people don’t have second chances out in the world. To those who do, don’t
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Black & Pink News
NOVEMBER 2021
Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family
fuck around. Do what you have to do and live your life. Make something of yourself. To all you that I know who read this, y’all know me, I’m Aaron and from Arizona but I was in FCI Petersburg VA (Medium). I thank y’all who made me feel so welcome and that I’m not alone in this bid. Thank you B&P, LGBTQ+ family all around the state/BOP. I hope y’all do the right thing. Y’all in my prayers, love, mind. Take care, Yo Boy Aaron E. (MA)
What are your hopes and visions for the Future? The United States has typically been behind the rest of the world when it comes to equality and all people seen as just people regardless of any differences. These differences, whatever they may be, are seen as abhorrent to those ascribing to the words: “normal”, “conformity” and the despised word “hetero-normative”. Many years of the continued use and blind following of these words of hatred has produced a generational society full of biases, leaving some stuck in the “square box”. Unfortunately, these beliefs only exacerbate the hurt, pain and physical and emotional scars a lot of my
LGBTQ+ community experience. Some may even carry these daily.
and love to my coveted LGBTQ+ community and Black and Pink members
So, my hopes and visions for the future include things such as (not an all-inclusive list): legislation, whatever it may be, extending to and including ALL members of society always, that hate, fear and blatant discrimination towards my LGBTQ+ community is eradicated; that WE all can walk down any street in any city (not just those considered “gay meccas”) holding hands, embracing and kissing one another just because we want to, and least but not least, that my LGBTQ+ community never have to fight for equality, inclusivity and recognition EVER again-EVER.
- Sam (NJ) Written from the SHU, pending transfer - hopefully closer to home?!
Whether these hopes and visions seem far-reaching, unrealistic or too dreamy, my heart feels like they are still attainable. Now I know my home state of Kentucky and other deeply conservative states are a little slow on the pick up on all-inclusive equality, I still hold fast to these hopes and visions for a better future. It is my faith in these changes that I believe the future for my LGBTQ+ community will be brighter, happier and more peaceful. And like any of the great Miss America’s, I really do want World Peace! I wish all the blessings
Dear Black & Pink, Hello everyone, how’s it going? This Wilson coming to you AKA Kaylin, its been a while since I’ve wrote to all of you out there. To the ones that don’t know me, I’m a 58 year old gay man and very proud of it. I don’t hide behind closed doors, my life is an open book for all to read. Been receiving B&P for many years, I get a little something out of every story that I read. As I write this, we are on lockdown. We all know what that can be like, its just part of doing time. I don’t know about other states but here in Texas prison we have a thing called OPI. It is sad at how many uses. It stands for Offender Protections Investigation. It’s only a tool that was given to us to use. Its got out of hand. And to Dominique, the message that you send out, I feel it is a gift that we have you on our side. When I’m down, your words stand me back up, head up. To me, that’s what a family
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Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family
is about. I tell my sisters and brothers here, I have ears and a good shoulder, lean on me, let’s talk, us as a family needs to talk about what’s going on on our unit. Don’t know what unit you are on but want to send my love to Jazz and most of all I want to thank God for putting my love, my best friend, my wife, Michael, AKA Paloma. She is The Best Thing that ever happened to me. Daddy love ya Momma for ever and that’s a long time.
conforming dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, or hatred to take my word and attempt to fill your mind and heart with the most feminine (or masculine if you are trans man) and feel as adorable, as pretty, as cute and snuggly as you can, day in and day out, and watch those negative feelings begin to fade away slowly over time, this is what works for me and what will always work for me and I invite you to try it.
To all my sisters and brothers, don’t let no one bring you down, you get right back up and stand tall.
If there is anyone out there whom is gender nonconforming, you are rare and special to me and I would love to talk to you, I can receive mail from pretty much any prison except from Oregon, Arkansas, please consider writing to me at the address below, I am quite isolated and love to write. Thank you B&P - love and respect Bradley W. Quinby, AVO665, CA MEDICAL FACILITY, BOX 2000, 64 BED #A9. Vacaville, CA 95696
Love all of you. - Kaylin (TX)
Black & Pink, Hello everyone, my name is Bree Seagull Q. I am a gender non-conforming prisoner in California. I realized my true self 5 years ago while getting to know a Hispanic transgender couple while in Reception in 2016. Since then I have come to love myself, and feelings of violence, malice, hatred, anger have all been transcended by expression of beauty, cuteness and adoration for myself and all things feminine. I want to tell anyone out there who is transgender, or gender non-
- Bree Q (CA)
Hello to everyone out there. Just want to send love to my brothers and sisters in the Black & Pink Family as well as my wifey, Jessica Anne, in Massachusetts. I just have to ask why must there
be so much hate out there. I’ll only use this world once cause like my wifey said in article, it’s a label people try to put on other. The human race is not a label. I recently read an article while I was at work while I was on break. The article was about the increase of death and violence toward the transgender community. This is a shame. Why must our world be so blind to the fact that they are human and have feelings just like the rest of us. All those recently killed, my love and sympathy goes out to their families. When are we going to stop the hate and bloodshed? I have several friends going through the change and I see the trouble they go through. This hate has to stop. Jessica Anne, my sweet vanilla, I love you. Looking for friends so you can hit me up. Cassandra S. (TX)
HOLD Hold onto your faith. It will light your pathway and guide you through the darkest hours, hold onto your love for it will show the unconditional truth. Hold onto your strength for it will reveal that weakness is just a brief moment in one’s life.
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Black & Pink News
Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family
art by Jordan H. (MD)
Hold onto your happiness for it will shine when the clouds of sadness over shadow you. Hold onto yourself for it will be the keys that will open the doors to your endless possibilities. Hold onto your praise for it will allow the chains to fall your heat.
will that you hold onto his lift you up because his love hold onto you.
Hold onto learning his word for it will be the greatest opportunity for to chart your life. Hold onto hope for it will lift you when time get you questioning God. Hold onto God for he will never leave you nor forsake you. It is his
- Sam (TX)
I know we all don’t have the same life style all that don’t matter to God. He would never look down on us. Just to tell I have been in the community a lot of people don’t understand us the LGBTQIA have made it a long way it people like y’all that key us around because we got it hard in TX prison so we thank god for this program thank y’all for y’all time and help to us in TX prison. I came out over 20 years ago it feel good at this point in my life so people can see that real me.
Dear Editor: Thank you family! It’s Zachary, its been a few years since I’ve written, much has gone on. I screwed up on parole and relapsed into drinking again and pending time back behind bars again. This time around there are huge concerns beyond the COVID-19 issues. That is scary all on its own but one fear that we need to address more than anything is HIV and prison partnership/sex/blood exposure. There are seriously risky
Volume 12, Issue 5
blackandpink.org
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Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family behaviors occurring here in my prison! HIV positive inmates are not always honest, one friend I have whom is positive is having unprotected sex with negative inmates telling them they can’t catch it from him. This individual has shared tattoo needles with his boyfriend, claiming he won’t get HIV. When do we interfere? When do we stop the spread and stop allowing ignorance to prevail? We all have the right to life, love and happiness. But nothing in that is a license to lie and risk the health of others. Now I personally am blessed to be married to an amazing wonderful man. A man that I never thought I would meet, he, Mr. Walker has loved past the prison stigma, the sex offender stigma, I could never have asked for anyone better. We all have that perfect other beat within our heart, that person whose fingers fit perfect entwined with yours. Patience is part of finding your mate! Make sure that you always be true to your, be honest, truthful, and who you really are! Don’t falsify you! Because you are beautiful, just who you are. Love and solidarity, Zachary (ID)
Hiiiii Family, My name is Henry A, and I’m proud to be gay. I’m currently in prison as an openly gay guy. The way I live my life in prison is the same as I used to live one the outside. Every day, I wake up in this nightmare, waking up in prison. But I shove the reality of it down and force a smile to start my day in a positive manner. The reason I do this is because I know, deep down, that other individuals need some form of positivity in their life. I created an atmosphere where gay individuals can be comfortable with who they are, as well as straight individuals. I’m tired of people hating each other, manipulating each other, and judging each other. We all may be different, but at the same time, we’re all human beings. Join me to end the cycle of hatred, and let’s end the cycle by loving each other. - Henry A. (CA)
Hello from Texas. Well, I for one have heard way too much about this COVID-19. I’m almost a doctor now. LOL nah, for real, I just wanted to say hello to ya and remind everyone about a very bad disease that is going around all over the country. Ready for it? It’s called “The Prison Industrial Complex.” Man,
it’s killing me. So here’s how it really works (in Texas, at least.) Our prisons are run by lazy, self-serving Anglo Americans. Okay okay, only the keys and the administration are. But look, when something has to be fixed, it is an inmate. We make our own clothes, toilets, mattresses, sheets, blankets, shoes, socks, towels, boots, shower slides, and soap. When I was in a jail, they gave me soap made by TDCJ! Texas sells what we make for profit, and all we get is room and board! Texas inmates do not get “gang pay.” We do not get paid at all. We work in the fields and grow corn, cotton, potatoes, etc. If you don’t go to work, you get punished: cell restriction, rec restriction, community restriction, loss of good time, loss of visits, loss of phone, etc. This is how you expect an inmate to be able to change for the better when you treat us like slaves? I know we have to find a comfort zone to fight off this “P.I.C.” disease. I use radio, books, and pen pals! I’ve met a lot of very good people in B+P, and they have all helped lift my spirits. I also practice Pranayama and Dhyana yoga. I want to encourage everyone both inside and out to love yourself and find inner peace. Find a way to enjoy life. Look, I’m serving a life sentence, and
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Black & Pink News
NOVEMBER 2021
Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family
I’m happy because I still have my life. I love all of you. Stay strong. - Tammy Beth (TX)
I Need A Hero I need a hero Someone to save me from This life of heartache and pain Someone who can shelter me From the storm and the rain I need a hero
Someone who understands That a convict has feelings too Someone who is loyal and will stick with me Like Elmer’s glue I need a hero Someone who will listen to me when I complain Someone who ain’t selfish and Won’t laugh at my pain I need a hero - Turbo (MO)
What’s Really Important
By Charlsie A. B. (TX) In the September 2021 issue, Ky Peterson wrote an excellent article, “A Pop Culture Update: Musician Lil Nas X Takes Newest Music Video Behind Bars.” Lorenzo Rulli wrote another excellent piece on Lil Nas X also, “Another Take on Lil Nas X.” Both of these articles rocked. While Lil Nas X’s metaphorical and allegorical influences in his video are being deciphered, he should be allowed his creative licensing just as everyone should have. Instead of all of us “family” focusing and critiquing these performances, we should all be holding these celebrities, rappers, rock stars etc. more accountable for the way they use their influence. We should request that they use their influence to help change social problems. For instance, the social injustice, gender unequal, racially disparate, slavery that goes on still today in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) and also the barelythere release rates of the Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles. This issue keeps touching the surface of mainstream media with every allegation that arises of a wrongfully convicted deathrow inmate. #FreeRodneyReed, but it quickly gets passed over with politics, maimings, robbings and killing. When will we as a “family” realize that one another
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Letters and Poetry from our Inside Family
isn’t the enemy, it’s the system vs. us. As long as we fight each other, we’re not advocating for the priorities of what’s really important. Parish’s words were so true in “Lying Down and Waking Up a Slave,” TDCJ is a big plantation system that affects all races, creeds and backgrounds. But, lest we not forget the Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles, the branch that keeps us all indentured with the maneuver called the “nature of crime” that never changes, yet keeps us in bondage. Or being repeatedly protested by the victim’s family year after year. Texas hasn’t passed any prison reform legislation in over 25 years. The 2nd Lookers Act passed the Texas House and Senate in 2021 session but Gov. Abbott vetoed it in spite of a dangerous staff shortage in TDCJ in spite of COVID-19 and other fiscal deficits. Now is the time to organize, advocate and do what needs to be done before the next Texas House Session in 2023. We need to ask our friends and families to: 1. Contact their state reps at: texas.gov/representatives and state senators at texas. gov/senators and demand that they propose bills to give inmates in TDCJ good/work time credits for
aggravated/3g crimes 2. That the Texas Board of Criminal Justice (TBCJ) start closing the units that they can’t fully staff, which at this point is 5,300+ officers short, making TDCJ an unsafe environment security-wise not to mention unsafe heat temperatures (un-air-conditioned) (even the SPCA’s pets have AC) 3. Petition the Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles to increase the parole release date in Texas and specifically for female offenders 4. Contact celebrities, rappers, rock stars, politicians and ask them to specifically advocate for the abolishment of the slavery system in Texas prison system, TDCJ, and to increase the parole release date by the Texas Board of Pardons and Paroles. We must come together as a family and increase our efforts and fight for what’s really important. In solidarity, Charlsie A. B. (TX)
Neon I have hidden for far too long, Failed to hide my heart, ashamed. Now electric, I firmly stand, We will not be shamed!
We will not hide nor falter They have trained us well, Once a servant to silence Now sunlight pours through our cells. So take off the masks we wear And step into the light No longer ashamed, genderblind These neon green wings take flight!!! My heart became a warzone Crimson rain were my tears Society in its unwavering hatred Had validated all my fears. Now feel our energy, our electric love Hand in hand the world will see We will no longer remain silent For we are Black and Pink! Robert S. (IN)
Crowded open barracks, housed like walking furniture Like guards at warehouses, making security checks, to be secure Watch businesses, support keeping you the prisons They profit on products, sold to hold down convicted felons Don’t believe it, if you think government care for these lost Congress, no matter the side, know nothing comes without cost What you see, as easy money or
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quick high, a ride to hell Corporations smile, once incarcerated, you’ve become a sale Communications with friends and family will become a price Pay phones, special video visits, seems so very nice Faced with persecution, courts seek to make you as a monster While in prison, your children taken to homes to foster Which also some times becomes another political profit So if being a criminal is your life, the second side, you’re now a convict.
Black & Pink News
steep I have to stand on my own two feet Footsteps smashing the concrete Paving my own way Taking a painkiller for my headache Looking for easier days Keeping away the gossiping strays Looking to get in my way I have my blinders on, I can’t hear you speak That’s what makes me, me. - William C. (CA)
- Andy (AR)
Bad Love In life many good people Fall victim to bad love The past repeats itself over and over Breaking our hearts, crushing our hopes Everything seems to be our fault We always make excuses for the ones we love We know they’re wrong Their actions bring us pain, even shame For love for some is a game, only a game, only a word Broken hearts cause reckless actions Choices unable to explain Trying to see truth, blinded by love Punishing ourselves, refusing to say no Just don’t have the strength to let them go I don’t want to start over Afraid of a repeat This emotional mountain is
It Could Happen When feeling down my thoughts turn gray my joy of life starts to fade away. I think of love the chance to meet a special someone on the street. The dark clouds lift can’t help a smile for it’s that chance that makes life worthwhile. - Donny W. (TX)
Lust I take you in absorbed deep into the recesses of my mind. I devour your all the need to touch, taste and feel desire. But only my eyes will ever know the flavor of your Beautiful Loneliness.
NOVEMBER 2021
- Donny W. (TX)
Volume 12, Issue 5
blackandpink.org
Page 31
Consent is... Freely given. It’s not okay to pressure, trick, or threaten someone into saying yes. And you can’t give consent if you’re drunk, high, or unconscious. Reversible. It’s okay to say yes and then change your mind — at any time! Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed. Informed. You can only consent to something if you have all the facts. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent. Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should do stuff you WANT to do, not things people expect you to do. If someone doesn’t seem enthusiastic (meaning happy, excited, or energized), stop and check in. Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’re saying yes to other things (like having sex).
Pick a letter from “FRIES”. Can you think of examples from experience?
What sexual and non-sexual activities require consent?
What might make it hard to discuss consent with someone?
How would you tell someone if you were uncomfortable?
PPNNE Sexual and Reproductive Health Activity Book Page 4
LGBTQ+ Word Match Can you match the following terms with the correct definition? ____ 1. Asexual
____ 6. Intersex
____ 2. Cisgender
____ 7. Nonbinary
____ 3. Dysphoria
____ 8. Sex Assigned at Birth
____ 4. Gender Identity
____ 9. Sexual Orientation
____ 5. Heterosexism
____ 10. Transgender
A. A person’s sexual identity in relation to the gender(s) which they are attracted to. B. An term used to describe when someone is born with reproductive and/or sexual anatomy that is outside the strict boxes of “male” or “female” because of their body parts, chromosomes, and/or hormones. C. Someone whose gender expression/gender identity are different than the sex they were assigned at birth.
D. When a person’s gender identity is outside the gender binary of female or male. E. A person’s inner feeling about themselves. It doesn’t have to match their sex assigned at birth, and can include but is not limited to identifying as nonbinary, a woman, or a man. F. Someone who does not feel sexual attraction towards anyone; or who doesn’t feel any desire to act on those feelings. G. Those who identify as the sex they were assigned at birth. H. A term used to describe the distress, unhappiness, and anxiety that transgender people may feel about the mismatch between their bodies and their gender identity. I. A label that you’re given at birth based on the genitals you’re born with and the chromosomes you have. J. A system of oppression that benefits straight folks at the expense of everyone else including but not limited to lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual folks.
Answers: F, G, H, E, J, B, D, I, A, C.
PPNNE Sexual and Reproductive Health Activity Book Page 16
Identity Activity Identities play a big part in how we navigate and experience our surroundings. It can be helpful to think critically about our social identities and consider how privilege and oppression operate in our lives. Write your social identities in the 8 “flower petals” below such as race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, ability, first language, and religion. Consider which social identities have the strongest effect on how you perceive yourself, and which have the greatest effect on how others perceive you. In the center of the “flower”, write your personal identities such as skills, strengths, hobbies, favorite things, personal mottos, and anything else that comes to mind!
PPNNE Sexual and Reproductive Health Activity Book Page 17
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NOVEMBER 2021
Black & Pink News
Call for Submissions Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year. To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.
Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 6223 Maple St. #4600 Omaha, NE 68104 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.
If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it! Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing! Penpal program info: LGBTQ+ people who are incarcerated can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where people can see it and write. There will be forms in upcoming issues Email us: members@blackandpink.org
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Volume 12, Issue 5
blackandpink.org
Page 37