Black & Pink News, Vol. 8, Issue 8—October/November 2017

Black & Pink News October/November ‘17

November 20th is Transgender Day of Remembrance. Black & Pink honors trans people’s struggles for survival and support worldwide, and remembers those who have been taken from us.

Photo: marchers at a gay/trans pride parade in Mumbai, India

Volume 8, Issue 8

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A message from Tray...

Hello family, I know many of you did not receive the latest issue of Black & Pinkwe have had thousands returned due to an error during the transition that didn’t account for the change in our bank information so shipping was not paid for thousands of papers. They are gonna go back out.

Since this is a double issue I will give my family a recap of my first two months. After our huge transition we had the natural disasters across the country.

Black & Pinkstepped up to the the plate. We rented a Penske Truck in Boston, and we put a call out to our formerly incarcerated family. We collected donations in New York, Philadelphia, Knoxville, Jackson Mi, and Dallas and on to Hurricane Harvey relief in Houston.

We met up with the Organization Latina of trans in Texas The OLTT. We delivered over 20,000 to the only homeless shelter specifically for trans women in texas. We even had inside members donate money. Black & Pinkshowed up and showed out.

Our Brilliant National Organizer Monica James spearheaded the effort and then jumped right back into TDOR (trans day of remembrance) where she is working effortlessly with Brown University in Rhode Island and building the Providence chapter up.

With all the turmoil and hate spewing from everywhere in our nation, I feel that our very human-

ity is at stake. We have major cities under water, cities on fire and concerts being used as demonstrations of hate. We have an administration that is perilously edging us close to nuclear war, women’s bodies are under attack, and prisoners are literally being left to burn to death in the sweltering heat or drown from lack of evacuations. I know my inside

family is catching pure hell. I have personally been threatened by two wardens that if I showed up I would be arrested. But family I got bond money. I can’t fight every battle but I will acknowledge them and set the wheels in motion to fight, we got a team family, we are doing calling campaigns by the hundreds. I am saying all of this to let my inside family know #YOUMATTER. You are not alone. We are fighting. If you don’t get a personal response from

Black & Pink that doesn’t mean you are alone.

This space is for my sisters, #metoo was a hashtag created during the last few weeks, it was trending on all social media. Well some of us formerly incarcerated sisters realized that there are sisters suffering right now from sexual assault in a prison.

So my beautiful sisters.

All my beautiful sisters who are being abused, who are being used and taken advantage of. All my sisters who cant get the proper care for their bodies but have to let men leer at them to decide that. To the sister that went to the hospital for back pain and was given a hysterectomy without her consent, to my sisters whose bodies no longer belong to them. To my sisters sitting in Carswell, praying they get an iota of treatment so they don’t die in that place.

To my brave soldier sisters who are sitting in that cage for defending their bodies, for defending their virtue. #themtoo #metoo I promise as long as I have a voice it will be yours. As long as I have a platform I will exalt your plight, your pain. I will tear down the PIC or Die trying. You are beautiful, you deserved to be cherished and protected. You matter and your body is yours. I love you. I support you. We are the heroes that we have been waiting for.

P.S Simone Littles I got you Fam. Adopted!

Tray and Foxxy

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In This Issue News you can use LGBTQ Prison Abolitionists Fight for a Better World pages 5, 7, 12 ODOC, Trans Woman Settle in HRT Lawsuit pages 6, 9 A Prison Newsroom Mourns its Former Editor in Chief pages 6, 8, 11 National Survey for Women with Incarcerated Loves Ones page 10 A Message from Monica James page 11 Federal Prisons Will Offer Inmates Free Tampons and Pads page 13

Black & Pink family Letters pages 12, 14-21 Poetry pages 18-20 Submit to Black & Pink! page 22

Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (617) 519-4387. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life.

Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.

October/November 2017 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities.

About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!

Give us a call! (617) 519-4387 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST

We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding.

Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper.

The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts.

Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our

Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.

December 2017

November 2017 (United States) blackandpink.org

Volume 8, Issue 8

November 2017

Sun

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Mon World Stroke Day

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Tue

31 World Cities Day Halloween

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1 World Vegan Day All Saints' Day

Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Thu

2 International Day to All Souls' Day End Impunity

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Guy Fawkes Day

Day to Protect 6 World the Environment in War

slavery 12 World Pneumonia Day 13 Black abolished in Brazil (1887)

of the 7 Beginning 'October Revolution'

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14 World Diabetes Day

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in Russia (1917)

Wall torn down 9 Berlin (1989) Mexico City legalizes same-sex marriage (2006)

Day for 16 International Tolerance

World Philosophy Day

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World Day for Road Traffic Victims World Toilet Day

20 Africa Industrialization Day Universal Children's Day

21 World Television Day

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23 Thanksgiving Day

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Solidarity Day 29 World with Palestinian

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3 10 17 24 31

4 11 18 25

5 12 19 26

6 13 20 27

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F 1

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7 age 8 95 P 14 15 16 21 28

Little 4 Malcolm released from prison, changes name to Malcolm X (1952)

Day 10 Veterans observed World Science Day

Day 11 Veterans Nat Turner hanged (1831)

Prematurity Day of 17 World 18 End Apartheid, S. Formation of the EZLN (Zapatistas), Mexico (1983) Peak of Leonid meteor shower (8:56am PST)

Men's 19 International Day

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Sat

Samhain

Saving Time 5 Daylight ends

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Africa (1993) Wilma Mankiller born (1945), first female Chief of Cherokees

Day to 25 World Eliminate Violence on Women

Mexican Revolution begins (1910)

Transgender Day of Remembrance

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Hendrix born 27 Jimi (1942)

People

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Prophet's 1 The Birthday

World AIDS Day

Day for Slavery 2 World Abolition

LGBTQ Prison Abolitionists Fight for a Better World

By Sophie Drukman-Feldstein

In These Times, Aug. 17, 2017

The national gathering of Black & Pink, an LGBTQ prison abolition organization, combined a radical vision with the immediacy of personal narrative. During the opening celebration on August 4 in Chicago, the group hosted a wide array activists, most of them formerly incarcerated, to tell their stories.

Eisha Love described being imprisoned for defending herself from a hate crime. Ricardo Jimenez spoke to being the first openly gay Puerto Rican political prisoner, and how his coming out challenged the ho-

mophobia within the independence movement.

Tracy Johnson recounted how her son, Michael, is incarcerated for allegedly not disclosing his HIV status. “They treat HIV like it’s against the law,” she said, “and it’s not against the law to be sick.”

Pinky Shear spoke of her partner, Ky Peterson, who she met in prison.

Peterson, like Love, was convicted for defending himself, but his public defender told him he could not win his case by pleading self-defense because, as a black man, the white people in his community saw him as too much of a threat.

On August 5, Elizabeth Ramirez, Kristie Mayhugh and Anna

Vasquez—three of the women collectively known as the “San Antonio four”—spoke on a panel, discussing

“They treat HIV like it’s against the law, and it’s not against the law to be sick.”

Tracy Johnson, mother of Michael Johnson their experiences being falsely convicted of child sexual abuse in a case

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October/November 2017

ODOC, Trans Woman Settle in HRT Suit PORTLAND, Ore.—The American Civil Liberties Union Foundation of Oregon (ACLU of Oregon) announced today that a settlement had been reached in their lawsuit against officials at the Oregon Department of Corrections (ODOC) on behalf of Michalle Wright, a transgender prisoner who was denied essential medical care. Wright

“To deny necessary medical care is cruel and unusual punishment.”

Mat dos Santos, Legal Director, Oregon ACLU is currently incarcerated at the Oregon State Correctional Institution.

Lawyers for the ACLU of Oregon said the settlement agreement stipulates significant policy changes in the treatment of transgender and gender nonconforming prisoners in Oregon including access to doctors with experience treating transgender people, competent mental health treatment, hormone therapy, and, if medically necessary,

continued on page 9

The staff at work in the newsroom of the San Quentin News, produced at San Quentin State Prison in California.

A Prison Newsroom Mourns its Former Editor in Chief

By Esmeralda Bermudez Los Angeles Times, Oct. 8, 2017 Down past the prison yard, where blue lilies grow near a fence topped with barbed wire, the men who manage one of the nation’s only inmate-run newspapers were mourning.

The front page of their next edition would mark the death of Arnulfo Garcia, who had been their editor in chief—and so much more.

Garcia had come to San Quentin State Prison as a heroin addict and burglar. He had transformed himself over more than 16 years into a beloved leader and living, breathing symbol of hope and redemption.

At the prison, they called him jefe because he ran the San Quentin News. They called him pachuco because in his youth he used to walk with such swagger. They loved his dry chili peppers, which he carried

in his pocket and passed out to them like candy.

And they felt such hope for him when he walked out to freedom in July, full of big plans for not just his but their future.

He was deep into those plans two months after his release when he got in a car with his sister. She was driving. They were in a crash. Both were killed.

Garcia was a three-striker whose sentence was cut for good behavior from 65 years to 16. He used to tell men serving decades for robberies, assaults and murders to focus not on getting out of the infamous penitentiary but on becoming better men—men who moved forward and thought big.

“It takes a team to make it to the moon,” he used to say.

And they had faith in his goals, no matter how grandiose—to reform

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LGBTQ Prison Abolitionists Fight for a New World continued from page 5

fort of those it serves. This programming included workshops such as heavily influenced by homophobia “HIV Education, Harm Reduction, and a nationwide paranoia about and Policy,” “Ditching the chains of satanism. While the San Antonio youth oppression!” and “Vogue and Four were eventually exonerated, the Prison Industrial Complex.” the panelists stressed the worth of all “The abolition of prison in its curprisoners, regardless of guilt or inrent structure is the end goal,” Black nocence. “You can’t just walk out of & Pink’s soon-to-be national director Tray Johns told In These Times. prison after all those years and say “But in the mean-time-between‘bye’ to those people,” Ramirez extime, we have to create a system of plained. “Whether they’re innocent humanity … to help and serve the or not, they’re human beings.” people that are being most impactBlack & Pink is a prison aboed by the prison system as we tear litionist organization that serves down the prison system.” queer, transgender, and HIV-posiThis commitment to immediate tive prisoners, a demographic which support shows in the healis severely impacted by ing arts and harm reducmass incarceration. The tion workshops Black & LGBTQ community is “The abolition of prison ... is the end hosted at the gatherheavily policed and disgoal. But in the mean-time-between- Pink proportionately imprising, as well as the organization’s pen pal program, oned. According to a time, we have to ... help and serve the largest of its kind.

February 2017 study by the people that are being most Coordinating corresponWilliams Institute of the impacted by the prison system.” dence with the free world UCLA School of Law, lesbian, gay and bisexual Tray Johns, Black & Pink National Director is essential because, as Johns explains, “a lot of people comprise roughly LGBTQ people have al3.5 percent of the U.S. population but account for 5.5 per- wrong gender cell, it goes into them ready been ostracized before they cent of men and 33.3 percent of getting the psychological treatment went to prison, so there’s no mothwomen locked up in prison. The that they need.” er, no one writing them, nobody 2011 National Transgender DiscrimBlack & Pink supports its incar- saying, ‘I’m going to be here when ination Survey found that 16 percent cerated members through services you come home. I care. You matter. of transgender people, and 47 per- such as a pen pal program, a news- Somebody loves you.’” cent of black transgender people, paper written by people who are A sense of radical potential also locked up, court accompaniment and pervades Black & Pink’s short-term had been incarcerated.

Once in prison, queer and trans- “know your rights” trainings. support work. In a recorded stateThe national gathering brought ment played at the gathering, Patrice gender people suffer disproportionate abuses. In 2011 and 2012, the together Black & Pink members Daniels, an incarcerated Black & U.S. Department of Justice reported and supporters for a weekend of Pink member, spoke to the importhat 5.4 percent of non-heterosexual workshops, talks, art and communi- tance of the pen pal program: “Every prisoners and 15.2 percent of trans- ty-building. The bulk of the gather- time you write, in a very real, congender prisoners had been sexually ing was meant only for Black & Pink crete way, it is an act of resistance abused by prison staff, compared to members and formerly incarcerated … You have made the decision to 2.4 percent of the prison population people, reflecting the organization’s commitment to the safety and comas a whole. continued on page 12 The “number one issue is that [LGBTQ prisoners are] disproportionately targeted and put into solitary confinement,” Black & Pink organizer Alex Garza told In These Times. Coming Out of Concrete Closets, Black & Pink’s 2015 survey of LGBTQ incarcerated people, found that 85 percent of respondents had spent time in solitary confinement, which has been widely condemned as a form of torture. Other problems, Garza explained, are the “lack of resources, lack of medical treatment, lack of care. And it goes into not getting their hormones, it goes into them being put in the

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A Prison Newsroom Mourns its Former Editor continued from page 6

ern California and as he grew up became a heroin addict. When he was busted for home robbery in the 1990s and faced 123 years in prison, he skipped bail and fled to Mexico.

His mother pleaded with him.

Quit drugs, have a child, settle down.

“Drop that monkey off your back,” Carmen Garcia told him.

“Then I can die in peace.”

Garcia did what his mother asked in the countryside of Mexico, working on a farm, staying clean. He met someone, and they had a daughter and named her Carmen. But eventually his past caught up with him. He was arrested and sent to San Quentin.

ther, the police, the probation office, the D.A., the judges,” he wrote in a 2014 column. “I blamed everyone the criminal justice system, to end but myself.” gang violence, to turn a fledgling Writing, he said, brought a new newspaper into an award-winning kind of clarity. “I came full circle publication. to the realization that the person reOut in the yard, prisoners divide by color—blacks with blacks, sponsible for my situation was me.” whites with whites—but in the old When he and Richardson began laundry room turned newsroom, working in the prison’s print shop, Garcia led a mix of men whose sole Garcia didn’t even know how to turn focus was telling stories and putting on a computer. But they used to listen to the chatter of reporters and edout the paper. itors nearby in the newsroom.

That work continued on a recent “They’d be arguing about what afternoon. story to run on the front page,” RichJesse Vasquez, a staff writer serving 30 years to life for attempted ardson said. “And we’d get in there murder, placed a thermos with Garand tell them our opinion.”

The prison newspacia’s favorite tea out on per was just revving the pavement near the up again then. A prison newsroom’s front door They had faith in [Garcia’s] goals, no warden had brought it to ferment in the hot back to life, after more sun, the way Garcia matter how grandiose—to reform the than 20 years. It ran on taught him. Jonathan criminal justice system, to end gang donations, as it does Chiu, in for first-degree murder, pieced violence, to turn a fledgling newspaper now, and the help of journalists on the outtogether the paper’s into an award-winning publication. side. crossword puzzle. And Garcia was hired on Richard Richardson, In his 6-by-10 cell, he started as a writer in 2009 and began spendlong and lanky like Snoop Dogg, bent over his computer pushing him- writing. He told his life story and ing more and more time there. Two self to finish his toughest assignment the stories of other inmates expelled years later, he was editor in chief. from society because they killed He saw in the San Quentin News yet: Garcia’s obituary.

Richardson, who goes by Bonaru, their wives, shot up gang rivals, an opportunity not just to give prisoners a voice but to educate them serving time for home robbery, took robbed gas stations, peddled drugs.

Garcia wrote thousands of about prison programs they could over as editor after Garcia left. The words—now scattered in notebooks, use to improve themselves. He pubtwo were best friends, he said.

“He taught me how to be a man, on flash drives and pieces of toilet lished stories about inmates doing yoga, putting on Shakespeare plays, how to be a father, to be responsible paper.

“He was a listener, someone you getting paroled after participating in and accountable for my actions.” could talk to about your secrets rehab programs, showing remorse ‘Drop that monkey off your back’ and your sadness and the harm that for their crimes.

He once wrote about how three Garcia, who was 65 when he you’ve done to others,” said his died, was in and out of jail for nearly brother Nick, who also served time inmates saved a correctional officer at San Quentin. as he choked on a piece of steak.

50 years.

For years, Garcia had brushed He spent part of his childhood picking prunes on a farm in North- aside his mistakes. “I blamed my facontinued on page 11

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Michalle Wright, a trans woman currently incarcerated at the Oregon State Correctional Institution, has won a settlement with the state DOC over being denied essential medical care, with the help of the ACLU.

Trans Woman Wins Settlement Against ODOC in HRT Lawsuit continued from page 6 gender confirmation surgery. In addition, the state has agreed to pay $167,500 to the plaintiff and $100,000 in attorneys’ fees. ODOC has also agreed to work with Basic Rights Oregon and the ACLU of Oregon to ensure that their policies and training continue to align with the standards of care for transgender people.

“Watching your child suffer needlessly is the worst pain a parent can experience,” said Victoria Wright, mother of the plaintiff. “Everyone knew that Michalle needed hormone treatment and mental health care, but until the ACLU got involved, my daughter’s cries for

help went unanswered. They just didn’t care.”

“This is a huge victory for our client and all transgender prisoners in Oregon,” said Mat dos Santos, legal director at the ACLU of Oregon.

“For too long, Oregon prisons have been treating transgender prisoners in cruel ways and denying them the lifesaving care they need. We look forward to continuing to work with the state to ensure that prison staff are treating transgender prisoners fairly and decently.”

Chase Doremus, the transgender justice trainer and organizer at Basic Rights Oregon, said when transgender people are denied health care, suicide attempt rates exceed 40 percent.

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“When people receive gender affirming care, they are able to take better care of themselves, contribute more fully to society, and their suicide rates drop significantly,” said Doremus.

Wright, age 26, felt a deep disconnect between the gender she was assigned at birth and her female gender since childhood. Although she identified as transgender, she was unable to begin hormone therapy prior to her incarceration. According to the complaint filed just over a year ago, Wright was denied medical care despite submitting nearly 100 requests.

Facing repeated denials of care, she attempted suicide multiple times and also attempted to castrate herself.

In addition to repeated denials of medical care, Wright’s complaint outlined harsh treatment by guards who told her to “man up,” “be a man,” called her a “fag,” and told her she was a “fucking freak.” Dos Santos said that if this kind of cruel treatment is repeated in the future, it could violate the settlement agreement, a stipulation he hopes will provide sufficient motivation for the prison staff to treat transgender prisoners with dignity and respect.

“To deny necessary medical care is cruel and unusual punishment,” said dos Santos. “Being sentenced to time in prison does not mean you should be subjected to torture.”

Attorneys Ed Reeves, Kennon Scott, and Samantha Sondag of Stoel Rives LLP represented Wright pro bono along with Mat dos Santos and Kelly Simon of the ACLU of Oregon.

Share your artwork with the B&P community! see mailing instructions on page 22

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Dear Black & Pink readers, Essie Justice Group—an organization of women with incarcerated loved ones—invites you to join our campaign to reach the one-in-four women with incarcerated loved ones across the country.

If you are a woman (cis or trans) or are genderqueer, genderfluid, or gendernonconforming with an incarcerated loved one, or if you are a woman with a loved one outside, please read on.

How can you access the survey?

Write to us to request a

October/November 2017

Black & Pink News

paper survey to be sent to you or your loved one (include their address) in English or Spanish: Endria Richardson Essie Justice Group 300 Frank Ogawa Plaza, Suite 420 Oakland, CA 94612 Or access the survey online: www.tinyurl.com/ EssieSurvey.

Why are we collecting surveys?

What is the impact of incarceration on women with incarcerated loved ones? Even though there are millions of women with

loved ones behind bars, our personal and family experiences have never been gathered to answer this question.

We are asking women across the country to tell us—and the rest of the world—how incarceration has impacted our bodies, hearts, and minds. So that we will know how to end incarceration for ourselves, for our loved ones, for our communities, for good.

Help Us Reach 5,000 Women by completing the survey, or sending it to a woman who loves you.

Warmly, Endria

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A message from Monica James...

Hurricane Harvey/Houston. Another natural disaster and millions of people—all ages—are displaced due to this natural act of nature that could have easily hit anywhere.

Riding through miles of devastated communities with my travel partners Tray Johns and Tiff Renfro, it is clear that families have been torn apart and lost everything they own.

Subsequently, I recognized that

I was traveling through poor communities with depleted resources before the storm came. They are not only poor, but also illegal immigrants, who can’t receive state support without encountering ICE. Discovering that our efforts also would help keep innocent people out of jail aligned with with the concepts of prison abolition.

Ultimately, the Latin community is at risk of being hunted down and

have their lives destroyed and I am grateful to have traveled the 3,600+ miles to give some relief and love to this endangered population.

‘Greatness can be found on the edge of greatness’ (Will Smith) I believe in the fight for black and brown bodies and thank Black & Pink for creating the foundation for this rescue effort that turned up good fruit.

Prison Newsroom Mourns its Former Editor continued from page 8 Garcia’s paper featured soul-searching profiles and editorials critical of budget cuts and prison conditions. He invited in district attorneys and judges, for forums to update them on life at the prison.

Bob Ayers, the warden who brought back the newspaper, said Garcia didn’t just want a publication that squashed prison gossip. He wanted to do serious, respected journalism.

“While I may have plugged in the lamp, which was the resurrected San Quentin News,” he said. “Arnulfo tweaked it until it became a beacon.”

Garcia did so under strict supervision. The newsroom had no internet access. Each story was carefully vetted.

By the time he left prison, the San Quentin News was printing 28,000 copies, distributed to 35 prisons run by the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.

“Wall City,” the quarterly magazine he dreamed up, was nearly a reality. The first volume, full of inmates’ stories, was just about to go to press.

A brave new vision The morning of the crash, Nick Garcia, who had also been paroled, spoke to his brother on the phone.

Arnulfo was at a gas station in Hollister. He sounded excited. His biggest plan was to build a reentry home with a full treatment center, somewhere in the countryside, a place where newly freed prisoners could acclimate themselves to life outside the walls.

He had the support of officials at public safety agencies, social workers and several prosecutors, including those who had once locked him up. His family planned to help him.

He and his sister Yolanda were on their way to check out a possible property.

The crash occurred minutes after the brothers hung up. Police say Yolanda Garcia missed a stop sign.

Her car was hit first by an SUV, then by a big rig. Brother and sister died at the scene.

‘This one’s hard to take’ At San Quentin, a weekly support group helps prisoners manage their day-to-day anger.

Garcia once led the group. Now those who came were grief-stricken.

In a high-ceiling room that was nonetheless airless, they sat in a circle and took turns saying goodbye.

“Arnulfo, you pulled one on us, man,” said one inmate, his face slick with tears. “This one’s hard to take.”

“Many times I wanted to quit,” said another, staring at the floor.

“You told me, ‘Come on, let’s go’” “I appreciate you,” said Fateen Jackson, 41, “because you saw value in me.”

Lucia de la Fuente, one of the group’s coordinators, told the inmates that Garcia had squeezed every last bit of his two months of freedom.

Barbecues, shopping trips with his daughter. Food—lots of great food.

De la Fuente said it made him so happy, he texted her photos of his beans, his scrambled eggs and Mexican sausage.

“He was abundant in every single way,” de la Fuente said.

She got her final text from him three days before the crash, she said.

He was coming over the Bay Bridge at sundown. The light, he told her, was so beautiful.

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LGBTQ Activists Fight for a Prison-Free World continued from page 7 engage with someone who, a), you don’t know, but b), society has cast out.”

The gathering gave a platform to people who rarely have one. Speaker after speaker stepped onstage and explained that they were not used to talking in front of an audience.

“I actually thought it was going to be a story that was going to never be told,” Love said of the attack she survived and her incarceration.

The power of Black & Pink’s work also derives from its communitarian nature. Event organizers encouraged attendees to give what they could and take what they needed, from donations to homestays to transit passes to the labor of setup and cleanup. When people referred to the organization’s network of prisoners,

former prisoners and free world allies as the “Black & Pink family,” it did not seem like a platitude.

When brought onstage to receive an award, formerly incarcerated activist Afrika Queen Lockett explained that she wanted to be as available as possible to fellow trans women, urging them to call or write her if they needed anything. Black & Pink’s goal of transformative justice is ambitious. Within the organization itself, members strive to create a microcosm of the society they want—by recognizing human worth and meeting everyone’s needs.

Black & Pink is also undergoing some transformations of its own.

The organization recently achieved 501(c)(3) status, a shift which outgoing national director Jason Lydon insisted would not change their priorities. Acknowledging the existence

of a “nonprofit industrial complex,” in which corporate foundations often suppress radical ambitions in the groups they fund, he assured the audience that Black & Pink is “not accountable to corporations.”

With Lydon on his way out, Johns is set to replace him as National Director. Their goals? “In five years,” Johns told In These Times, “I want some transgender, queer man or woman to be in some obscure prison in some obscure state, not getting their medications or being beaten, and they tell the warden, ‘I’m calling Black & Pink to advocate for me.’ And the warden go back to his office and hang his head and say, ‘I don’t feel like being bothered with Black & Pink. Just give them what they need.’ I want Black & Pink to strike fear of equality in the minds and hearts of every warden.”

Black & Pink Fam: Letters from the Heart Dear Black and Pink family,

down on levels by the world because they fear what they have NO understanding of. But if they only How are you all doing out there? knew perfect love casts out all fear. I Good I hope and pray! Now, I would guess then they will never truly love like to thank you all for keeping me themselves. Because love, perfect informed with our family. Well, love starts within and as for me, I am not doing so only then all the fears, good… It’s like I have the betrayal, loneliness weight of betrayal, loneliness “I want you to know that true, perfect love and heartbreak will no and heartache up on my soul. starts within. And everything that’s holding Weighing me down like a you down will disappear and just know this, I longer be. I guess for all my brothers and sisters ship’s anchor, being casted love you all.”

I want you to know overboard into the sea. And that true, perfect love as it slowly goes beneath the surface, disappearing into the abyss realization that it was never joy starts within. And everything that’s of the sea. Screaming at the lungs, but all pain. From the very point holding you down will disappear as the saltwater immediately fill of being conceived, in this hateful and just know this, I love you all. them. And my last thoughts cursing world. Feeling cursed from birth God for my trial and tribulation. and now as my mind ponders back Your Brother Antonio FL My biggest thing which I require throughout the years. Being broken is… this one question, what’s joy without pain. What’s one without the other. As I sit back and think up on the solution. Defining both; joy is a feeling of happiness, a sense of well-being. And coming to the

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Federal Prisons Will Offer Inmates Free Tampons, Pads

By Melissa Jeltsen Huffington Post, Aug. 16, 2017 The Federal Bureau of Prisons issued a memo earlier in August explicitly requiring prisons to provide a range of free tampons and pads to incarcerated women While federal prisons already provide limited amounts of feminine hygiene products to inmates at no cost, the availability and quality of supplies vary from facility to facility.

Criminal justice reform activists say female inmates often receive subpar and insufficient amounts of products to manage their periods.

They can either use what little money they have to buy expensive supplies from the prison commissary, or they can plead with correctional officers for more supplies.

The revised policy will ensure that incarcerated women will be able to choose from a variety of feminine hygiene products, including two sizes of tampons (regular- and supersized), two sizes of maxi pads with wings, and panty liners, said Justin Long, a spokesman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

While most U.S. prisoners are men, the population of incarcerated women has been growing at a faster rate for decades. The policy change will affect the roughly 12,747 women who are in federal prisons, but not those in state prisons and local jails, where the majority of women are held.

Andrea James, founder of the National Council For Incarcerated and Formerly Incarcerated Women and Girls, remembers menstruating in prison with horror.

She spent two years at a federal prison in Danbury, Connecticut, where the only menstrual products provided to inmates were “tiny, flimsy pads, not sufficient for adult women,” she recalled.

The pads were kept in a crate on the bathroom floor. When the crate was empty, she said, women had to ask correctional officers to refill it.

She learned to strip the pad apart and build makeshift tampons, which she used throughout her sentence.

While brand-name tampons were available at the prison commissary, most women couldn’t afford to purchase them, she said.

Page 13

“We were paid 12 cents an hour,” she said. “Women were grappling with having enough money to call their children.”

James said every period, she worried about accidentally leaking onto her clothes or bedsheets.

“It’s just barbaric,” she said.

“On top of the heartbreak and pain of being incarcerated and separated from your children, you have the humiliating circumstances of having to ask for hygiene products from male correctional officers.”

A 2015 report on state prisons in New York found that over half the women interviewed said they were not given enough sanitary pads each month. To get more supplies, women reported having to apply for a medical permit. At one prison—which closed in 2013—women were allegedly required to show authorities a bag filled with used, bloody pads if they needed more.

“It’s critically important for any woman who is in custody to have the dignity of having menstrual supplies,” said Gail Smith, director of the Women in Prison Project at the Correctional Association of New York, which released the report. “No one should have to beg for them, or ask for them in ways that are humiliating.”

Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, author of a forthcoming book on menstrual equality, called the new Federal Bureau of Prisons policy a “tremendous advance,” part of a new movement treating menstruation as a gender-equity issue.

“Menstrual access bills are gaining traction in many states and cities—covering schools, shelters, and correctional facilities. Menstrual equity is proving to be an agenda that legislators and the public alike are willing to support—and that includes leaders on both sides of the aisle.”

Page 14

Hello, my beautiful family of colorful people.

My name is John but my family call me “Seer or Pariseer”. I am a proud gay white male of 47. I have been gay pretty much all my life and most of that life was in the closet. Until recently a year ago I met this beautiful Latino transgender that became my lover and brought light to my days of darkness. He, or she, I should say, gave me courage, pride and inspiration to step beyond that barier and proceed forward in life with my chin held high. And that beautiful person that I know will not mind me bragging about is no other than “Pedro Roman A.K.A Jazmine”. We are now at two different camps due to me being tranfered in which has torn me apart deeply. I do miss you Jazmine with all my heart, but you are never forgotton and will always remain in my heart 4ever.

Jazmine is also the one that introduced my to the B&P magazine although I do not have my own subscription. But every time someone has one I read it from front to back.

Please forgive me for not writing to you sooner fam. I guess you could say I’m a procrastinater.

But here I am now with all the inspiration from the letters I recently read and has moved my heart to the point I had to tell myself, “ ok, it’s time, now get busy”. I’ve been neglecting my family for too long now. I would like to express tho, all the pain I read in letters and poems I can relate to in so many ways. To all of you that suffer from abuse, be it verbal, physical ro sexual due to

Black & Pink News

you are lifestyle form childhood to now. Believe me, I feel you’re pain and when I read these words, they bring tears to my face, and each tear I shed, I take it upon my finge and then dab it to my tongue. So that not only have I read of you’re pain, felt you’re pain and shed tears of you’re pain, but I have tasted you’re pain with you as well. We are all connected by this fragile thred, so when one cries, we all cry, when one is happy, we’re happy, when one is hurting, we’re all hurting.

That’s what makes us special, that’s what makes us unique and orginal.

Tha’t what makes us family. That’s our interlink of love that can never

“We are all connected by this fragile thred, so when one cries, we all cry, when one is happy, we’re happy, when one is hurting, we’re all hurting. ” be severed, no matter what comes our way. I have much love for my family, wherever I fo I will always be strength, encouragement, inspiration, loyalty, respect, comfort, peace, honor and protection. I live to give them hope and freedom to be who they choose to be eith no fear of any abuse of any kindfrom anyone. And you can better believe I am so hated for doing so too. But that’s what it takes in here sometimes. For one to stand strong and fears nothing that may come my way for my family. I will go to the grave for my family, when it comes to their wellbeing. And anyone that doesn’t like it, well, they can line it up!

October/November 2017

Straight up! I’m just keepin it real. My LGBTQ fam mean just that much to me. I have much respect for Chelsea Manning whole heartedly. Despite all the abuse she endured, she went forward.

Now that’s balls! LOL! My hat goes off to you Chelsea, and my heart goes out to you as well.

Now that’s a soldier. God bless you Chelsea!

Would you marry me? LOL! Good job Babygirl! You’re another one to add to our families’ strenght, inspiration and hope to our totem. I would like to add about me also, is that I’m a graffitti artist and am working on a piece at this time as a tribute not only to LGBTQ family but also as a gratification to my Latin lover Jazmine for her strength, charisma, pride and inspiration to step beyond that barrier that held me captive in fear for so long.

Thank you Jazmine and I will forever love you with my whole being.

Hope to see you again soon.

B&P, I will be sending you this art piece as soon as I get it done. I do hope it inspires and encourages and puts a smile on someones beautiful face. God bless you all and thanks for hearing my voice from within. You’r definitely going to hear from me again. Believe that!

With the upmost love, Pariseer

Volume 8, Issue 8

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Page 15

Our Black & Pink Family: Letters, Poetry Guys and girls, I was introduced to black and pink in 2013, I got my own subscription in 2016, and look forward to participating with black and pink when I am released. I have 3 years left of an 18 year sentence. Support of family and opportunities await my return.

I want to say a HUGE thank you to the FAM Mail crew of Chicago, they have been there for me no matter the question- thanks guys Every month I eagerly await the newsletter, The articles are informative, the artwork awesome, the personal letters speak volumes. One in particular I can’t get out my mind as this girls loss and struggles mirror mine, so close its got me crying for and with her. I would love to sit and talk to her as we may be able to help and heal each other, and smile real smiles again. Koriana if the opportunity arises………

The challenges this community faces can be overcome if we all work together. All things can be changed with the power of the vote. 6 months in solitary confinement was pure torture! If I was not an optimistic person always looking for the good Seg would have been psychologically damaging. How many of you read the big article recently in GQ on solitary confinement? It was simultaneous with the newsletter and booklet. VOTING CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING. Being a part of the community that brings about changes to the prison industry will mean a lot. I will be at events, once I am able to. Hopefully

I will see some of you there, look out for me in Springfield Mo. Until then take care.

Love and respect, Michael in IL Dear Black and Pink, Hello, my name is Jermaine Bronson but I go by the name Charmaine. I am currently locked up at the Boyd unit. I want to tell all my girls be who you want to be, fulfill your dreams, reach your goals and life in which you now live. I have been part of the family since I was 15 years old. I’ve been through all types of crazy things, but I keep going. If you can dream it you can achieve it. Love you girls.

Charmaine B.

Dearest Black & Pink, My beautiful rainbow, I’m finally writing to say “A lot” of what I have kept inside for so many, many years now...see, “I’ve received Black & Pink since you had the office down the same street where those bombs went off, I think, I’ve collected and cherished every publication...

You’ve all been with me through Super Seg., Admin. Seg., almost 5 years of a lonely world, but like every challenging obstacle we all must endure in life’s many uncertainties, we climb that huge mountain, one step at a time... but I wasn’t along the entire time, that’s where you all came along and we climbed out up those mountains together, this is my thank you.

All these years you’ve brought lots of comforting joys into my sometimes cruel, frozen, and dark world all around me, Texas prison that is... but I have had some very pleasant moments reading, rereading and collecting every issue since day one. Thank you all so very, very much, all of the volunteers who have tirelessly & unselfishly given so very, very much and sacrificed so much more to shine light on so many of us in here/and out there... so see, hope in those darkest moments and you’ve all become superheroes, my brand new day, in a world where tomorrow may never come.

As I reflect upon every year we’ve shared Together, all those we’ve lost along the way, if they only knew how many tears we’ve all cried for them, how much we miss them all... may they all Rest in Peace and feel our Love still, we won’t ever forget about you!!! You all live in our hearts eternally and I’ll cry a trillion Huge tears for all of you, until we’re there together again. Never let those who preach hate or try, to destroy the beautiful colors our rainbow shines, never let them steal our Joy or Hope, turn up the Jams even louder!!! That’s right! Turn it up even louder! Every single Madonna song, Boy George, Rick Martin, Men at Large, Adina Howard, every song that is our anthem of celebration to show the entire world that we’re still standing strong!!

And gaining immeasurable strength on a daily!

The time or tough times haven’t stolen the Love & Care that glows from within all of us, our hearts and

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souls, even those who hate, have that same ember there, or capable of something better than hate but it’s a choice to hate and discriminate... and I won’t allow that hate to poison me, I won’t be like that or I choose not to destroy, judge... instead I’ll Love them with purse kindness, pure Joy in every color, cause that’s what we’re all about and I sure don’t want to sound contradictory either, oh no babies, never my queens and madonnas, we’re still fierce, a force to be reckoned with, like the eye of the storm from far above in Heavenly places, looks very peaceful, magical, if not so mesmerizing, but if those who preach hate or think we will allow them to walk all over our rainbow... a strong is still a storm! We can also create some drama if needed, we’re very pretty, very gentle, very nice, but don’t get it twisted!!

Ok, I better slow my roll cause I’ve been waiting and really studying for years now, getting familiar with Black and Pink structure, goals, objectives, and I feel confident, prepared to contribute, be supportive, to Black & Pink continue marching forward as we sashay or sway into a brand new year, looking forward towards getting involved with the Black & Pink structure in anyway(s) I may be a contributing factor, if you will have me that is? It’s up to you what or where I’ll make the greatest impact for Black & Pink, it’s truly a Honor & Privilege to contribute however I may serve all of us in our struggle towards a unified front or solidarity... as I’ve said, I’m truly committed or make my pledge to contribute.

I’m looking forward towards the new year 2017 and the many

Black & Pink News

movements, organizations, who stand in solidarity for the cause... core beliefs, our Universe of Black & Pink.

To all the Volunteers & Staff... a very special thanks to each & everyone one of you, much Respect for your dedication & commitment(s) & sacrifices you’ve all made to make all this possible year after year... to reach the top of any mountain we must climb one step at a time, together in a perfectly and planned ascension, stand up for each other, I’ve been out of Super Seg or that frozen world for years now and you’ve stood beside me every step of the way, year after year after year, that’s pure Love, Care, and I appreciate all your support along the way, still patiently waiting for my pen pal someday, maybe soon or I’m just happy & very thankful for the Love and Care you’ve shared with me and the opportunity to maybe contribute somehow.

I’m prepared to contribute with my commentaries, poetry, art, and am writing some stories for a SciReality-Future...” note: I’m unaware of how I can update my personal introduction letter or did you every receive my intro letter photo I sent years ago...

I’m just asking... because of how many years went by, without any reponse at all? Here’s my art piece for the front of the publication, hope it’s the correct size to print on the new magazine font... and just want to say... very awesome work with the new publication!

True colors are showin in our actions...

Angeles

October/November 2017

Dear Mother, Thank you for guiding me and teaching me with your love and care throughout the years. You never gave up on me, despite the many times I disappointed you, and brought you unnecessary tears. You always taught me the right way and how to be a good person, even though I have not always listened to your wisdom and Truth.

Please know that your life giving words have now become clear to me. I did not listen back then because I was experiencing an unstable time in my life called, youth.

Back then, my decisions were mine and had nothing to do with your guidance, patience and undying belief in the better part of me.

You did the best you could, and I want you to know that the good things you instilled in my heart and mind are now the qualities and values I strive to live. I will make you proud, that’s my sincere promise, you will see. I love you more than words can say... You are in my heart, and that is where you will always be.

I Love You Mom...

FR: Edward H. A.K.A EJ xoxo

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Volume 8, Issue 8

Page 17

More Letters from Our Black & Pink Family Black and Pink family, Hello family! I am a thirty-seven year old transgender. I am a homo sexual male that inwardly I feel I’m a straight female. I have been a homosexual since I’ve been 9 years old. I’ve always known there wasn’t something right with me beyond just being gay. When I was twenty-nine years old I began to realize the thing that wasn’t right with me was that I’m not just a gay male but also I’m a feminine gay male.

By the time I was thirty I began living more like a female. I am

tence in the Indiana Department of Corrections. I am thankful for the LGBTQ. The prison system has put in effect several things that could make life in prison a little easier for us transgenders.

The one thing I just don’t understand is the whole issue of not being allowed to have a relationship with consensual sex with another same sex inmate. I am gonna be in prison for a long time and I might find someone I enjoy being around; We might decide to become a couple. But when the prison realizes we are together they will make a point to separate

“I am gonna be in prison for a long time and I might find someone I enjoy being around...But when the prison realizes we are together they will make a point to separate us...We are adults in prison. Why is it such a problem to be a couple in prison?” finally living more comfortable in my body. I would consider myself as a transgender person.

I was born a male gender but am happier and more comfortable living as female. I’m still a male and don’t plan on changing that; however, I am an extremely feminine male and am happy living this way. Even Though I’ve lived my life as a gay man I was missing something until I began expressing myself as a feminine male. I look like a male but I live and act like a female. I’m assuming I am a transgender. That is a new term for me. I hope I’m using the term correctly. I am currently serving an eighteen year sen-

us. If we chose to indulge in consensual sex and the prison finds out, we would get in trouble. We are adults in prison. Why is it such a problem to be a couple in prison? As for myself i am gonna be in prison for a long time. It gets to be very lonely in here at times. I am planning to pursue a relationship with another inmate if one comes in my path while in prison. This is a big concern for me. If anyone can help me with this please write the B&P newsletter. I will read and be thankful for any help.

Jasmine

To my Black and Pink family, My name is william, but I prefer to go by Lisa Autumn. I am a 35 year old white transgender, born a male but am truly female. I was first diagnosed with “gender dysphoria” in february 2016, and have been trying to get on the hormones since.

I first read a copy of the Black and Pink Newsletter while incarcerated in Marianna FCI in Florida in June 2015, and I loved it. This is my first time writing to you all. It is still hard for me to be open and tell people I am transgender, but I’m getting there. All my life I have struggled with my inner feelings, dealing with depression and anxiety. I always felt I should have been born a girl, but didn’t know how to go about taking the steps to begin my transition, and I was scared to ask anyone. But while incarcerated in Marianna, i met a few people who helped me learn the steps. Two in particular Nicole and Squinty, were inspirations to finally have the courage to come out and be me. I left Federal custody in April of 2016, and went into New Jersey State Prison custody. I only have 8 more months before I am to be released, and I will continue to go for the hormones after i am released.

I want to thank my brothers and sisters at Marianna for the love and support they’ve shown me- Quack, Nicole, Squinty, Frankie.

And thank you all who are part of my LGBTQ family. I love you all. And I hope those who are still struggling with those feelings find the courage to come out. Your are not alone.

There is help out there for us all!

Blessed be!

Lisa Autumn ( William) New Jersey

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Black & Pink News

October/November 2017

To all of you out there working with Black and Pink,

*LGBTQ*

Dearest Black & Pink, We’re a family of one, like

none else.

We love each other, especially ourself.

God loves us, no matter what.

People talk down + try to judge.

We are the LGBTQ, we gotta stand true.

Don’t worry about what people think, just be you.

Stand your ground + fight for your rights.

Just know Gods on our side + your in his sights.

He’ll protect you + pull you through.

ALWAYS remember + know, God loves you for you!!

--Chastity

Sweet Dreams...by Cupcake I toss and turn through the night in a sticky, sweet reminiscence of our compassion. I lie in a field of sugar spice and everything nice. Sucking on peppermints and sour balls my thoughts retrieve your sweet, seductive face. Your eyes so deep and brown, like cocoa gateways to your being. Your lips so plump and pink like chocolate covered strawberries, so juicy and sweet. My sweet tooth pangs for just one more intoxicating taste of you kiss. Rich, smooth velvet skin over a hard, solid body. My fluffy, round shortcakes rise like white sugary clouds to the eagerness of our desire. Our bodies whipped together, a warm, buttery marble delight. Moist, rich colors of ebony and ivory spiraling into a center filled with your thick, creamy, hot icing. Your dark chocolate passion penetrating my craving soul. I awake sweaty and in a puddle of my desire to realize it was only a dream, but I smile at the sweet dream.

--Dedicated to My Dark Obsession Milton, FL

just wanted to send a word to tell you what we think! I commend you on your work, helping prisoners to cope; A way to share their feelings, a reason to hold onto hope… I’m glad the world is filled with people just like you, who share their hearts openly, who do all the things you do. I don’t make friends by gender, or by the color of your skin; I like them all for who they are, beautiful hearts they have within. Our world has too much evil, judgemental

“I don’t make friends by gender, or by the color of your skin; I like them all for who they are, beautiful hearts they have within.”

and full of hate. It’s imperative the word is spread. God knows we can’t afford to wait! I treasure the precious words and the beautiful works of art. The articles I read so often really tug strings in my heart.

I know the value of a family, to know you’re not all alone; Someone who’ll send you a letter, to to reach out to on the phone. I love you all for being there for us locked away “inside”; for accepting us all just as we are, helping us regain our pride! Too many hide themselves away, struggling with so many fears; but you reach out to all of us, showing love can dry up the tears.

It’s beautiful, it truly is, these loving things you do. We’re blessed, even though “inside”, because we have true friends like you!

Wasilla, AK

Volume 8, Issue 8

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Page 19

Letters and Poems from Our B & P Family Stand Strong by Rickie Washington Hello Black and Pink family. This is my first time writing in. My name is rickie. I’d like to share a bit about what i deal with because of being gay. I have to deal with verbal abuse and dysfunctional people wanting to control my life and dictate to me how to live it. Of course I stand my ground and continue to be myself.

I don’t like their behavior, but I realize that they are immature, some have been indoctrinated with hate ideologies, others are afraid ant insecure and worried about what their friends might think if they don’t agree with them.

I’ve come to realize that some people can’t or won’t change and will always hate gays. Others might accept me as I am and come to appreciate me.

The one thing that we all have is our freedom to choose. Don’t ever let anyone take that away. Those that hate- well I wish them well in my mind and move on. Brothers and sisters, stand strong. Remember we’re family. I cope remembering that others among us face similar difficulties. I also meditate and do yoga. Lisa in CA I enjoyed your article in the December newsletter.

You lifted me up girl. Keep the positive attitude.

Shawty Blue you’re an inspiration girl. Smile!

Anna S. you’re and inspiration too.

Keep strong. Juicy Queen Bee, be yourself. You’re beautiful. Stand strong girl. All you in the black and Pink family. I love you all. Juicy Queen Bee- your voice is beautiful too.

Rejected Refuge This world’s moral compass is broken; The only safe place is heaven;

on this earth filled with sin.

From sea to sea, out open arms are cross;

And the pathway to peace, is birth, its imagination.

And our resolve, is stiffer penalties and building a wall.

Islam is peddled a menace;

What of the children, and love lost in these waters?

But religion is not a criminal,

Not even these waters measure up to a mother’s teardrop.

just because one chooses to paint it sinister.

Black dust and ashes, allow politicians to set fire, and act as activist, who promise solutions, and happiness.

But we the people, must challenge our peers intentions, and not be quick to follow man, who sees us less than, and half agenda; Or dirty immigrant, scars and scratches, dividing legal and illegals, leaving both sides clashing.

Demanding birth rights, and plots in the sand, believing hope made flesh,

We shouldn’t opt, to idly watch dreams rot; And not, reach out to the “have-nots,” the world over, the whole lot.

What if America was in an uproar, facing hellion hell; Filled with millennium militants, and bombs falling from the air?

Would “she” want a wall. or a boat to the “freeworld?”

Pitch this question to your conscience, and see if it cares...

-Robert C.

Page 20

To every one of my sisters and brothers.

Love you all. First time writer and reader for three years. I hear so much good that all of you have did and I am so proud that we are offer coming in this place. I am a 52 M/F Transgender and have been down for 17 years but I only have 3 left.

It has been hard but I have stayed strong and have made it though all things. I do love to hear about the food things that have happened to ws being in here. As many or your stories are just as bad as mine. I have wanted to share something with you all that at one point in my life was true until I came out and while I felt like this, but I don’t anymore because I now am free from all to be me. I finally am happy for once in my life. So please be open about yourself and all that ugliness that is inside you will wash away. This is just a little bit of ugliness that was inside of me. See there’s stuff about life I don’t know. Stuff I’ll never know. Why? Because my sanity is in question. But other people take for granted. T’s beyond their imagination to understand how a person could go through life missing such a big piece of life. I just didn’t grow up with any sense of what normal life and behavior are. I don’t know things I’m supposed to do, I don’t know about love.

All I learned is how to repress my emotions hide and try to avoid doing anything good, bad or otherwise. I learned to distrust everything and everybody and just survive. Tears running down my face, unable to feel the emotion of crying, because I never was taught or allowed to have emotion when being able to show anything to anybody that will let out my emotions. Because I don’t know what they are, or how they

October/November 2017

Black & Pink News

feel, or how to bring them out. So I suppress thiem. So I was unaware of the tears running down my face, and it crippled me in ways nobody can see or understand. There’s so much love and need and want inside me, but I don’t know how to let my emotions out. Not without em being twisted and turned around and put into shambles. And if I do, if I tyr really hard and od get’em out to somebody, it only takes having them trampled on a few times and all the walls go up again. I tyr you trust and yet I get betrayed and abandoned and there’s more walls going up all the time. I say or do something unknowingly and the other people get pissed off and I don’t know why.

I try to give help and advice and they see it as criticism and patronizing instead of being sincere and they get angry again. I don’t understand why. All I know is that once again I am a failure. But I don’t know what

I did to fail. After that happens a few times. I turn into a freak of nature and I’m pushed into a room where all the walls are up around me and I will not ltt anybody in because this is my safe haven of my mind and sanity that I never can let out again to be torched. But i never give up because I can’t live alone and survive. I know it’s gonna turn out bad, that I’m gonna get hurt and abandoned. But i keep going on just to survive. Just the need and want to love and wanting to be loved.

This is how I felt at one time, But not anymore. I am free to be me, Maleana May and I am happy. So I ask everyone that has to hide who they are, look deep inside and see from inside how many things you really are truly happy for, and tell your story. Because if we don’t we won’t be able to stand up for ourselves. So for now love from this lady Maleana. WA

Love

Love not hidden, is a beauty to see when observed by others they cheer joyfully but kept in a closet, for no one’s heart Love does not fly, it’s wings ripped apart Locked in these cages, Love slowly dies Until the one comes along that makes your heart rise above all bad feelings, suppressing the pain caused by prejudice. Love will reign Lesbian or Gay, this is our time Bisexual or Transgender, we will climb above the discrimination, we won’t be held down by those who hurt us cause love heals and knows no bounds

-By Robert W. AKA Wolf

Volume 8, Issue 8

blackandpink.org

Page 21

More Letters from Our Black & Pink Fam

C.

A faction of haters came out against this in my building and for three and a half weeks they tried all they could to kill my private shower and get me removed form the program. All these years I’ve been on this block no one voiced an opinion eaather way until my llifestyle was legitamized by the ADOC and I got a shower to myself, it became an issue.

I am still waiting on medical to complete my documentation and approve me for HRT, clothing and cosmetics. I’ll be 41 in November and I know the older I get the hardere it is to reverse the effects of the testosterone that it will have on my body. I’m about to go back to court in October to get my life without reduced. If that happens I’ll have a 2024 parole date.

I must complete 30 years in Alabama before I can make parole on a straight life sentence.

Even then they don’t

Peace and love united, Tracy R.

tor

Of course there was red tape involved. A curtain had to be ordered through the prison industry. They wanted to lock the block down at 10:30pm Sunday through Thursday and 2am on Fridays and Saturdays.

That’s why I asked for the curtain otherwise I’d have to wait seven hours after work to shower and don’t get me started on the weekends when I have visits in the morning or go out on the big yard after lunch for some exercise. It took over a month for the curtain to be installed. While we were waiting ADOC made it policy that the showers where off limits thirty minutes each day while I bathed.

have to grant it so my long term goal is either to be at a womens prison or a free woman by the time I am 50 years old. Wish me luck.

Vic

Hey hope this finds all of you well.

I’m getting through things. In July I finally got the mental health staff to offically declared me as transgender.

This was done so the ADOC would facilitate the PREA guildlines which allows me private showers. I live in a program block “ Faith and character based honor dorm” and figured it wouldn’t be too complicated. Since I’ve been in this block since 2011 I talked the administration into installinga curtain around one of the shower heads in the 6th stall of my block.

I want everyone to know I went out of my way to make sure everyone who had a job and got off work when I did took a shower first. One guy said he was going to sue the state because the curtain was a blind for people who wanted to masterbate in the shower. So when the curtain got installed people contined to complain.

I love having a curtain and other people in my block use it too. Some guys who are not LGBTQ that just have insecurities with sharing a shower now have a comfortable place to bathe so it’s all good.

By

Dear Black and Pink,

Page 22

Black & Pink News

October/November 2017

Buscando Contribuciones

Call for Submissions

¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!

Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.

Estamos buscando contribuciones en español para nuestras secciones de Cartas a Nuestra Familia y Poesía del Corazón. Por favor envía tu contribución escrita en forma legible y de no más de tres páginas a: Black & Pink — ESPAÑOL Damos la bienvenida a cualquier escrito de tu creación, pero dado el espacio y la variedad, no todas las contribuciones pueden ser aceptadas. Al enviar tu contribución, das permiso a Black & Pink para publicar tus escritos en forma impresa y en internet.

To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.

Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 614 Columbia Rd. Dorchester, MA 02125 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.

If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it!

Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues.

Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing!

Email us: members@blackandpink.org

If you would like to request:

Address the envelope to:

Newspaper Subscriptions, Penpal Program, Address Change, or Volunteering

Black & Pink — General

Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art

Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions

Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback

Black & Pink — Feedback

Black & Pink Religious Zine

Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside

Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)

Black & Pink — Advocacy

Submit to or request Erotica Zine

Black & Pink — HOT PINK

Stop Your Newspaper Subscription

Black & Pink — STOP Subscription

Season’s Greetings

from Black & Pink!

art by Black & Pink family

Black & Pink 614 Columbia Rd. Dorchester, MA 02125 Return Service Requested

NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE PAID BOSTON, MA PERMIT NO. 1475