Metro Times 03/13/2024

Photo

Joe Maroon

NEWS & VIEWS

We got a lot of feedback regarding last week’s cover story by Steve Neavling. It centered on a February 2022 incident in which Romeo cop Robert Priest pulled over former Warren Deputy Police Commissioner Matt Nichols, allegedly in retaliation for denying him a promotion, all while blasting Beck’s “Loser” from his car speakers.

Well the song he was blasting definitely described him! �� He definitely didn’t deserve a promotion!

—@haiderahollins, Instagram

So the guy was right not to promote Priest? He obviously can’t handle power. Should take his gun and his badge. Make it a special

project.

—@ceciliabruck, Instagram

Romeo’s liability insurer reading this article ����

—@archas00, Instagram

It’s always a supervisor or someone higher up in the food chain that allow/encourages bad behavior.

—@bigyellowwoman, Instagram

Just wanted to say reading this caliber of investigative reporting made my day. Spectacular work! Clearly a lot of resources went into this, plus the skill to cleanly distill it for an audience. Bravo.

—Trisha Murphy, email

Sound off: letters@metrotimes.com

NEWS & VIEWS

News Shorts

Detroit kept residents in the dark about hazardous contaminants at waterfront park

The city of Detroit knew about serious levels of contamination at a waterfront park on the east side but failed to alert residents or fence off the entire area until last month, Metro Times has learned.

Soil testing at A.B. Ford Park in the Jefferson Chalmers neighborhood in 2022 and 2023 revealed excessive levels of arsenic, mercury, lead, barium, cadmium, copper, zinc, volatile organic compounds, and polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, according to an environment assessment report made public last week, a month after the city received it.

Contacting the soil is dangerous, according to the report.

“This complete pathway is an unacceptable exposure and, therefore, response activities are required,” the report from Atlas Technical Consultants states.

The city closed the park late last month to begin topping the contaminated ground with two feet of soil. The city also drew the ire of some residents with plans to remove more than 250 trees, some of which are more than 100 years old and are used by bald eagles.

The testing was done ahead of planned park renovations that include walkways, a playground, basketball court, fitness and picnic areas, tennis and pickleball courts, a fishing node, beach, and waterfront plaza.

Now some residents are threatening to file a lawsuit against the city for allegedly exposing them to dangerous contaminants.

Terry Swafford, who has taken his two children to the park almost every day before it closed last month, is calling on the city to offer free testing for residents who may have been exposed to contaminants.

“We have all been exposed to toxins from the soil,” Swafford tells Metro Times. “It is unacceptable.”

City officials are defending their handling of the contamination, saying the west side of the park was closed after toxins were found.

“We followed the science every step of the way to make sure the public was protected at AB Ford Park,” Crystal Gilbert-Rogers, general manager for environmental affairs, told Metro Times in a statement. “The entire western half of the site has been fenced off to the

public since February 2022 to allow for soil testing and demolition at the former Lenox center, as well as construction of the new community center.”

Although the testing was confined to the western portion of the park, where the first renovations took place, environmental consultants emphasized in their report that the east side was likely just as contaminated.

“It should be noted, based on soil-fill material grid sampling completed to date, the level, nature, and distribution of soil/fill material contamination within the eastern portion of the park are expected to be similar, if not identical, to the western portion of the park fully investigated in mid-2023,” consultants wrote in the Feb. 5 report.

The eastern side of the park, which includes a soccer field, walking paths, and a fishing pier, stayed open for more than two more weeks after the report was received – and nearly two years after the first contamination was discovered on the western side of the park.

Despite the contamination, an NFL Draft party was held next to the new recreation center in the park earlier this month, and food trucks, a bounce

house, and games for children were set up in the parking lot. Although a chainlink fence was erected to keep people off the grass, clumps of dirt had breached the fence.

Residents were informed in midFebruary that contaminants were found, but the city declined to disclose any details until earlier this week.

The level of contamination is serious enough to prompt the consultants to urge the city to notify workers of the contaminants and require them to wear gloves and clean any soil or dust from their boots and hands after leaving the park.

“Construction workers may be exposed to hazardous substances found in soil and groundwater,” the consultants wrote.

It’s unclear if workers were notified of the contamination when they demolished a building and constructed a solarpaneled recreation center last year.

Residents are also worried about a large mound of dirt at the park’s entrance, which is across the street from homes, that was dumped there during previous renovations. Disrupted soil carries a significant risk of exposure.

The city defended the mound of dirt, saying it’s “entirely fenced off.”

But Swafford counters that a chainlink fence cannot protect residents from airborne contamination. He’s not persuaded by the city’s insistence that residents were protected.

“It’s complete bullshit,” Swafford says

A portion of A.B. Ford Park remained open even after the city became aware of dangerous toxins.

STEVE NEAVLING

of the city’s explanation. “It’s insane. It’s truly Owellian. It’s divorced from reality altogether.”

It’s unclear exactly what caused the contamination. The park used to be a Nike missile site in the 1950s. Those sites are notorious for leaving behind a toxic cocktail of contaminants, though it is not believed that any missiles were ever

stored at the A.B. Ford Park site, which housed radar tracking towers and barracks for military personnel.

The base of two radar towers are still jutting out of the ground at the park.

City officials believe at least some of the contamination is from soil that was dumped at the park decades ago.

—Steve Neavling

Doctor files whistleblower lawsuit against DMC

A former medical resident at Detroit Medical Center is suing the hospital system, saying he was fired in retaliation for blowing the whistle on the mistreatment of a patient who subsequently became quadriplegic.

Joseph Owens was terminated from the residency program in November, less than a month after he notified his supervisor of a series of avoidable missteps, according to the lawsuit filed last week in Wayne County Circuit Court.

A 69-year-old man was admitted to Detroit Receiving Hospital for an acute kidney injury on Aug. 24, 2023, complaining of weakness and a possible seizure.

Even though hospital staff knew he was a fall risk, the patient was placed in a sitting position on his hospital bed, with his feet on the floor and a bedside table in front of him, so that he could eat dinner. A hospital employee, known as a sitter, should have restrained the patient so he didn’t fall, but did not, according to the lawsuit against Tenet, which owns DMC.

The lawsuit also names Wayne State University, where Owens was enrolled in the medical residency program, and his superior, Dr. Shaheena Raheem.

After the patient’s eyes rolled back, he fell to the ground, striking his head and seriously injuring his spine. It appeared he had been having what is known as a grand mal seizure, according to the suit.

Despite the serious injuries, the patient was not taken to the intensive care unit, and there was no staff available to give him a head CT scan.

The next morning, the patient “was unable to move any of his extremities,” the lawsuit states.

It was later determined that he was a quadriplegic as a result of his spinal injuries and likely would never move his arms or feet again.

Although Owens was one of several residents and doctors in the room after the fall, he faced all of the criticism, he says.

Raheem sent him a letter on Sept.

6, complaining of his patient care. She also alleged he was unprofessional and chronically tardy.

Owens responded to Raheem a month later, saying the patient was “a fall risk” but was not properly secured by the sitter, which amounted to malpractice, the suit alleges. Owens says he was following the orders of his superior and did nothing wrong.

“The sitter for the patient breached the standard of care by not adhering to the fall risk when the patient was admitted,” the lawsuit states.

In an interview with Metro Times, Owens says he was terminated for blowing the whistle.

“I told the truth. That’s all I did,” Owens says.

DMC declined to comment, citing ongoing litigation.

“At the end of the day, we had a person who walked into the hospital and was rolled out,” Owens’s attorney Dionne Webster-Cox tells Metro Times. “That’s what happened.”

According to Owens, there are “systemic problems” at DMC that deprive patients of decent care. For example, he says, a nursing staff shortage makes it impossible for many patients to receive timely attention.

“There wasn’t enough nursing staff to get a CT scan,” Owens says. “That should have happened within an hour. [The fall] happened around 5:30, and I was assured that he was going to get a CT scan at 7:30. It’s really sad that any of this happened.”

The CT scan wasn’t done until the next day.

Owens hoped to finish his residency and then take over his mother’s internal medicine practice in Florida. But he can’t do that without the completed residency.

DMC’s claims, which he says are false, are making it very difficult for him to get accepted into a new residency program.

“It has devastated my life,” Owens says. “I can’t get the jobs I want, and I have all this debt.”

—Steve Neavling

ONE BODY UNIFIED INTERNATIONAL MINISTRY CONNECTING THE DOTS TO YOUR HISTORY

One Body Unified International Ministries was birthed out of a song entitled “Do Something” by Matthew West. ’Sherry Pullins believed God was talking to her through this song, to begin an outreach ministry evangelizing the community to draw God’s people back to Him. It was time to stop complaining and begin to do something to bring about change. The song began to burn within her spirit, and she began her journey to “Do Something.” Henceforth, One Body Unified International Ministries, LLC was born.

Sherry took charge of what God had given her, and as the leader of the ministry sought out help from various people. She began to put the board members together with her pastor, Apostle Joseph Hobbs, of Triumphant Life Church as the ministry’s covering. Once all things were in order, One Body Unified International Ministries, LLC was birthed in July 2016. Since that time, the ministry has put on Outdoor Concerts, Ice Cream in the Park Fun Days, A Community Health Forum, etc., to gather the community to come and hear about the “good news” of Jesus Christ.

Mission: The mission of One Body Unified International is to impact the believers using teachings, examples, and illustrations as they impact those they are called to assist in their lives.

Purpose & Objective: Our purpose is to educate, encourage, and equip the people in every aspect of their lives. This would include their spiritual walk, their mental and physical health, etc., to improve their lives. This is the heartbeat of One Body Unified International Ministry.

Vision: The vision is to assist the believer in establishing a victorious mindset to help and assist others.

Outcome: To lift up, to educate, and to win souls.

Please join us at our next event; Connecting The Dots to Your History Friday, March 22 – 23, 2024 at The Advance TMS located at 21657 Melrose Ave. Bldg. T, Southfield, MI 48075.

NEWS & VIEWS

Lapointe

On things that go ‘boom’ in the night

By Joe Lapointe

When the loud rumbles from the southeast began shortly before 9 p.m. last Monday in Clinton Township, I assumed it was thunder. With no rain predicted for that night, I wondered whether the weather forecast was simply wrong again. But the rumbles continued for five, 10, and then 20 minutes.

Then they’d stop and start again. Never heard any thunder quite like this, like constant kettle drums. Went outside, where flashes of light streaked from the same direction across the night sky. It looked like lightning, only — incongruously — with bright stars around it at the same time. No, that’s not lightning.

Before long, radio, television, and smartphone internet informed us that all this sound and fury came from a building that caught fire and blew up on 15 Mile Road near Groesbeck in Clinton Township in Macomb County, north of Detroit. Debris killed a 19-year-old guy at a nearby car wash.

Miraculously, he was the only serious casualty. According to the Macomb Daily, township officials said the building was not permitted to store explosive materials. But dozens of canisters there contained butane, nitrous oxide, and lighter fluid. They weighed up to 15 pounds each.

They rained down like missiles upon the roofs of nearby neighborhoods and

businesses, sometimes smashing apart and stabbing their jagged edges into the ground. Double-edged knives were said to be among the debris field that was at least a mile wide in circumference from this warehouse.

“They brought things in the back door that we didn’t know about,” township supervisor Bob Cannon told Channel 4, speaking about what was stored at Goo Smoke Shop and Select Distributors, which shared the same building. “We won’t rest until we find out what happened, how it happened and who’s responsible.”

The dead man was identified as Turner Lee Salter, survived by two parents and three siblings. He was an active member of Clinton Township’s Faith Baptist Church, which hosted a visitation for him last Thursday night and a funeral the following Friday.

The church is on the corner of Little Mack and 15 Mile, not far from where Salter died of blunt force trauma to the head from airborne shrapnel. His pastor, Tim Berlin, described him in the Macomb Daily as “just a joy to be around” and a person who “was so kind, always happy, someone who embraced life.”

In some ways it was almost a relief to learn that this terrifying mess was probably “only” an accident and not like something you might see on TV from the war in Gaza. Or something

like that chemical train wreck last year in Ohio. Or something like 9/11.

Or the beginning of The Road by Cormac McCarthy or even the Book of Revelation. Take your pick. Clinton Township is not far from Selfridge Air National Guard Base. At first, after the constant rumble wouldn’t stop, I wondered if it was the sound of many jets taking off at the same time.

But the following explosions sounded more like fireworks, the kind they have around the Fourth of July at the Clinton Township Civic Center; but they went on far too long for even a grand finale. And those festive rockets red-glaring don’t send jagged chunks of heavy metal down upon the citizens.

In one of life’s little ironies, some of the chemicals that blew up in Clinton Township last Monday are used for vaping products, which are used to consume tobacco or marijuana through vapor and without more harmful smoke.

Last year, a Mount Clemens marijuana retailer called JARS on Groesbeck tried to use a patch of Clinton Township land as a parking lot for its employees. However, Clinton Township rejected that attempt and has voted against legalized marijuana sales.

A growing community that almost encircles Mount Clemens, Clinton Township includes more than 100,000

citizens. One of them is the rapper Eminem, who owns a mansion. It’s a growing exurb with a blue-collar edge, just south of the Macomb County farm belt and just west of Lake St. Clair.

Last September, during the United Auto Workers’ strike against the Detroit Three auto companies, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump rallied in Clinton Township at a nonunion parts shop, about six miles north of last Monday’s blast site.

And the blast made you worry and wonder:

• Was it arson? Did someone set this fire for fun or revenge?

• How many other buildings are storing explosives that aren’t supposed to be there and — absent tipsters — how would anyone ever know?

• What if this had happened in the middle of the day, with people on the job and school buses among thick traffic nearby?

• What about terrorists? If this sort of damage can happen by accident or arson, what sort of malice might result from a purposeful political attack inflicted upon a legitimate site with stored explosives?

• And what about those freight trains with their romantic whistles in the night? Accidentally or intentionally, if they carry toxic chemicals, might they ignite near you?

Sleep tight, Clinton Township.

The Clinton Township blast was too close to home.

ROBIN BUCKSON/DETROIT NEWS VIA AP

Telling Innkeeper Tales

Two Detroiters with deep Gaelic roots share stories of life in the food and beverage business

With a group photo shoot planned for Sunday’s Saint Patrick’s Day Parade in Corktown, Sidestreet Diner co-owner Meghan Josefosky shoots those plans to hell around 7 a.m. that morning.

“Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend the parade today,” her text to me reads. “One of my cooks called in sick so I will be cooking on the line today… But Sheila will be there.”

Such is life for mom-and-pop restaurateurs. It’s always something. And cross-town in Sheila Taylor’s world (Josefosky’s cousin and business partner), it’s something else.

Arriving at Taylor’s restored 1916 Victorian home in Corktown at 11:15 a.m., granted, I’m 15 minutes early. Still, she’s nowhere near ready, coming to the door in little more than a loose robe. Apparently, the previous night’s party I’d been invited to but couldn’t make was a late one.

“So, you’ve got a disco ball on your ceiling,” I can’t help but notice, sitting down to twin sister Siobhan’s offer of Irish Coffee and some stellar corned beef hash that three ravenous Chihuahuas compel me to share.

By Robert Stempkowski

“Yeah, I’d show you, but we burned out the batteries last night,” Taylor sounds more proud than apologetic.

“We have company?” a disheveled blonde shuffling through the scene shoots me some glassy side eye. “He’s the reporter?” I hear family friend Renay gasp after someone whispers her that info. “Oh, fuck!”

“Too many picklebacks” — Jameson shots with pickle juice chasers — “for that one last night,” Taylor’s brother Garrett opines before treating me to a few lines and guitar strains of “Momma Don’t Allow,” a favorite family song about the faux Irish folks one encounters drinking green beer and no-no Bushmills on St. Paddy’s — not “Patty’s” — Day, and talking in bad Irish Brogue, which was exactly what I did by saying “top ‘o the mornin’” to Taylor as she let me in. Lesson learned. After a few more tutorials on proper Irish everything, the Taylor Clan walks our talk down Trumbull to the Michigan Avenue parade route, going over more of the family’s proud hospitality history.

Garrett Taylor

Sidestreet Diner

Stopping atop a pedestrian overpass on the way over to our Gaelic League rendezvous with the photographer, Taylor points out the site of the former Billy Walsh’s Public House, a now-cleared corner of Henry at Harrison, where her classically trained tenor father, Charlie Taylor, left crowds literally crying for more of his Irish balladeering way back when.

First meeting at Sidestreet

Five minutes into my visit to the cousins’ busy Grosse Pointe diner, I hear something that screams cut-above customer service.

“Hey everyone,” server Stacey announces loud and clear enough for every customer in the place to hear, “I see the meter maid out there in the lot looking to write parking tickets. Everybody good?” Hear, hear. Now there’s hospitality. As two customers hop up from their seats and out to their cars, I slide out of my booth for more of a look around. Up at the bakery counter by the register, manager Marjorie confirms

Meghan Josefosky. JOE MAROON

with

partner

my suspicion that some puck-like mini cakes wrapped in foil might be de facto homemade Ding Dongs.

“But we call ‘em Dingalings, so Hostess doesn’t get mad at us,” she winks. Then server Kira calls correct for a Smithwick’s, a red Irish Ale, pronounced “Smiddicks” in proper pub parlance. Everything I hear sounds good so far, and most everything I see appears Gaelic legit. There’s the St. Paddy’s Day countdown calendar up front. Standard. Just like the cead mile failte signage (“100,000 welcomes”) above the front door. And when Josefosky and Taylor sit down to talk, both are frocked in shamrocks and all manner of glittery green finery. Just one recurring décor theme struck me as a bit incongruous, so I inquire.

“Who’s the Elvis fan?” I ask.

“I am not a lunatic fan,” Josefosky says. “Well, maybe not. But the day Elvis died, I got in my brand-new Camaro with a friend and drove down to Memphis. We couldn’t get near Graceland, so we turned around and came back. It was bizarre. And that velvet Elvis, that was given to me 20 years ago by an employee who made his bus driver stop so he could pick it off a pile of garbage on the street. I kept it. And the ceramic bust over there is a similar story. A customer brought it in, just like most of the stuff hanging on ‘Elvis Avenue,’” the nickname for Sidestreet’s restroom hallway. Appropriate, I suppose, since it’s purported the King died sitting atop his own bathroom throne.

Getting down to discussing these cousins’ shared family business history, there’s more music to it.

“My dad was a classically trained tenor,” Taylor says, pride as evident in

her voice as its quivering emotion over remembrances of him. “He sang in a Scandinavian opera company, moved us to Milan pursuing his career, then moved us back thinking that wasn’t the right life for a family man with children.”

“And I got my first $5 tip as a fiveyear-old step dancer at Billy Walsh’s,” Josefosky jumps in, giddy over the recollection. “My wedding reception in 1980 was at her dad’s other place, the Emerald Isle,” then on Outer Drive and Chalmers. When I ask Josefosky about what Irish particulars went into a good wedding shindig, she shoots right back, “Well, a fight’s a must.”

Listening to the ladies, they remind me of how easy good table talk goes down, turning strangers into fast friends. Taylor picks up on the fun I have taking it all in.

“We all got the gift of gab,” she twinkles across the table. “And, yes, we’ve all kissed the Blarney Stone,” which, legend has it, has the power to bestow that gift in exchange for any pucker applied to it. Both Taylor and Josefosky’s fathers put their charmed lips to good use singing for their suppers and spinning yarn at Billy Walsh’s, in operation from the early 1900s into the ’70s, before taking their proprietary plunges. Josefosky’s father Jim Allen went on to own his eponymously named “Backroom” pub on Plum Street, Detroit’s ’60s counterculture answer to Haight-Ashbury. Taylor opened Monroe Street’s Old Shillelagh with partner John Brady back in the mid’70s, on his hunch that an Irish pub was just what was needed in the middle of Greektown. Some 50 years later, that notion has yet to be proven wrong. Both men — born, raised, and married

in Corktown — have quite a legacy living on through their daughters.

“My dad sang and told stories like nobody else’s business,” Taylor says. “Once when we were in Ireland, after being ushered out of a pub at closing time, my dad held court outside with us marveling over the crowd he attracted. When he was done, one woman said, ‘Sir, some kiss the Blarney Stone, but I’m fairly sure you’ve swallowed it.’ That was my dad. The stories were endless. And at the end of every one, you were just glad you were there to listen.”

Proprietary pearls of wisdom

Following up our meeting with oneon-one phone conversations, the ladies and I get down to talking about their time as restaurateurs. Asking them each some of the same questions and a few specific to what they’ve learned individually, both Taylor and Josefosky shed some timely light, along with a few illuminating points offered by a loyal crew who’ve stayed committed to Sidestreet Diner since its 2010 opening. The first thing I ask the partners is about each other.

“There’s yin-yang,” Josefosky says of Taylor. “What she can do, I can’t. What I can, she’s not interested in. She’s straight talk when it’s needed and social media, and I’m more head-down operational, food ordering and kitchen equipment.”

While seconding thoughts on the contrasting-complementing thing, Taylor sees some cousins dynamics at work in the duo.

“I’m more front-of-house. She’s more back,” Taylor says. “We’re agreeable, but she’s still my older cousin, the one

who’d scream ‘stay out of my room!’ after catching us licking the sugar cake roses she liked to save there in a box.”

As conversations continue, some of older Josefosky’s wisdoms on proprietary life proved noteworthy.

“I know who I am,” she says of what sustains an entrepreneurial spirit. “And I know exactly what needs to be done once I walk through those doors, whether that’s bussing tables, working the register, or continuing to develop the menu. I’m the diner lady, working on a third generation of customers.” When I share a story of a crusty old restaurant tycoon I knew in Phoenix who professed that making money was the only reason for doing anything in his world, Josefosky bristles. “I’d disagree with that man, respectfully,” she says. “Yes, I said I’d never do this. After watching how hard our parents worked, I told myself I’d never live that life. But then I left a career as a corporate banker, and actually found my true self in this business.”

On the present state of the restaurant industry, “Our competition is stiff,” she says. “Still, we help support a community. We [mom-and-pops] don’t have the purchasing power of our bigbox competitors, so our sustainability may rise or fall on how we compete in that arena. Unless mom-and-pops are supported within their communities, the future appears difficult. Eating at a restaurant requires entertaining, so we have to always entertain somehow as well. Someone with $50 to spend at a restaurant has a choice to make: momand-pop or chain. Sheila and I and our team have to give that person reasons to choose us.”

And on getting over the hard times

Charlie Taylor (second from left) toasting with fellow pub performers. COURTESY PHOTO

Sheila Taylor, center, with family at Detroit’s Saint Patrick’s Day parade. JOE MAROON

EMPLOYMENT

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EMPLOYMENT

GM Financial currently has an opening for Data Scientist II in Detroit, MI, responsible for the design, development, deployment, and maintenance of statistical models. Master’s degree in Statistics, Applied Mathematics, Econometrics, Economics, Operations Research, Industrial Engineering, Computer Science, Physics, or similar quantitative field. Send resume to recruitment@gmfinancial. com or by mail to GMF Human Resources, 801 Cherry Street, Suite 3500, Fort Worth, TX 76102.

Reference DSII-YZ1.

EMPLOYMENT

Industrial Engineer - Closure Systems, Brose North America, Auburn Hills, MI. Plan, engr, & improve plant productivity, product throughput, & worker safety using Process Failure Mode & Effects Analysis (PFMEA), 8Ds, DraftsSight & AutoCAD tools, to continuously improve processes & plant facilities; analyze & improve Overall Equipment Effectiveness (OEE); design Value Stream; & implement Lessons Learned & best practices, during production of automotive mechatronic closure sys’s incl. latches & latch modules. Assure high qlty/ high volume production & delivery of closure sys’s on batch & just in sequence production bases to global vehicle makers. Dvlp & implement robust fixture, & PLC-based vision sys, sensors, & fastening eqpt designs applying poka-yoke principles to reduce Not Right First Time percentage during cmpt production & assembly.

Dvlp & maintain production & process documentation incl. Work Instructions, Process Flow, process parameter sheets, & Bills of Material. Perform MTMStandard Data & video anlys to determine production rate for prgms, engrg changes & ratio improvements using TiCon tool. Bachelor, Industrial Engrg, Mechanical Engrg, or related. 24 mos’ exp as Engineer or related, engrg & improving plant productivity, product throughput, & worker safety using PFMEA & AutoCAD tools, & improving OEE, during production of latches, or related. E-mail resume to Jobs@brose.com (Ref#1009).

humps, “With my first restaurant [Mack Avenue Diner, ’92-’97], I calculated what I needed to earn daily to break even, while living in my parents’ basement with a newborn and toddler. That was my initial goal. Six months later, I was able to buy a home. Those days were when it occurred to me that I could do this.”

Taylor’s hardships were every bit as considerable once the cousins teamedup to open Sidestreet in December of 2010.

“As things turned out, I had to have brain surgery eight weeks before we opened,” she says. “I’d started falling down [at another restaurant where she’d worked many years] and lost my job, after which I said, ‘Hey, cousin, let’s open a place together.’ Meghan had to hold down the fort till I got back feeling way better about everything but my new haircut. Then, in 2015, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had 16 rounds of chemo and 26 rounds of radiation. I survived. We survived. So did the restaurant. Through all of it. My dad would be very proud of our performance. He didn’t think we’d make it when he first saw the place. He said it looked ‘like a girl who stayed at the party too long.’”

Hard work and humor: recurring themes in conversations I’ve had with all kinds of bar and restaurant owners, past and present. Typically, you either laugh or cry on a daily basis, and usually, a bit of both. Josefosky says the biggest speed bumps on her road to career contentment are constant equipment breakdowns and potentially catastrophic electrical outages.

“When the power went out last year, I literally lived in the restaurant for threeand-a-half days,” she says, “keeping all our refrigeration equipment on lifesupport with a generator I couldn’t leave, connecting and disconnecting fridges and freezers that had to stay running at regular intervals to keep thousands of dollars of food product safe.”

And there’s troop morale that needs to be maintained as well; tempers that get justifiably triggered which also need to be kept chill.

“With DoorDash and the other delivery services, all the tips go to those drivers, not my people who are actually preparing and packaging those orders,” she says. “No wonder so many former back-of-the-house restaurant workers left the industry to take those delivery jobs. Now, that’s another dance we have to do for revenue. The delivery services make money. Their drivers and we [owners] do too. But servers and kitchen crew doing a lot of the work? No, and it doesn’t make them happy.” (Agreed. Something’s got to give there. Much already has, most likely.)

Even so, Josefosky and Taylor’s servers aren’t complaining. Meter maid nemesis Stacey has been with Sidestreet from the start. So has Kira, who answers a question I’d been wanting to ask a savvy food server of late: How would your income be affected if the state of Michigan instituted a living wage mandate of $20 per hour (in lieu of tips), as is about to become law in California come April and potentially soon across New York City’s food service economy as well?

“I’d be taking about a third cut in pay,” Kira answers candidly.

I rest my case. Generally proposed living wage rates don’t work for a large faction of tipped employees across the restaurant industry. Though a boon to a fast-food workforce (which would come at considerable, added expense to consumers), it would amount to more of a catastrophe than a cure for anything that’s already plaguing the full-service sector. Believe that.

Whatever the future holds for a food industry left reeling from a COVID-19 horror story whose ultimate ending has yet to be penned for posterity, I like the chances for continued success of two hard-working Irishwomen who’ve again sold me on the blood, sweat, and tears theory of all it takes to make a restaurant really work.

“You have to be a warrior,” Josefosky sums it up through her view through the kitchen window. “It’s hot, everyone’s at close-quarters, and every product we put out is being judged dish by dish. You can’t let your ego shatter with every poorly received plate. I tell our crew that it’s OK to hate each other for three hours at a stretch [during rushes]. Afterwards, we can forgive and forget about it.”

Taylor’s perspective reflects that breezier, front-of-house perspective, which one or two picklebacks, here and there, might help bolster after long, hard days working the dining room.

“People like to have an experience, be part of the scene. Corktown’s exploding,” she says of Detroit’s oldest neighborhood, which has transformed with new bars and restaurants in recent years. “I just think new places really need to figure out what people want. Maybe there’s a little too much style over substance out there at the moment. It’s all over the map. Figure out where you’re at and who you are, then show people a good time.”

All that said, we finish with a limerick composed to appropriately close this tale:

Here’s to those outside poo-pooers, Who think restaurateurs aren’t doers, The life they know’s hard, And so says this bard, Few are rich entrepreneurs.

Go Green

50 WAYS to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day

in metro Detroit

By Metro Times staff

This Saint Patrick’s Day, “bored” should not be in your vocabulary. There are plenty of parties being held in and around Detroit to celebrate. (Did we miss anything? Let us know at tips@metrotimes.com and we’ll add it to the web version of this article.)

Thursday, March 14

Bandit Tavern & Hideaway

419 S. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-544-6250; hideawayro.com

Bandit Tavern’s downstairs bar has transformed into Paddy’s Hideaway with decor and a drink menu inspired by the hit TV show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, including “Rum Ham” and the “Nightman.” The pop-up remains through the end of the month.

Eastern Palace Club

21509 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 248-850-8165; epchp.com

Starting on Thursday, this Hazel Park hangout celebrates with themed cocktails, a special menu from Smoked Lotus, and more. No cover.

Friday, March 15

Detroit City Distillery

2462 Riopelle St., Detroit; 313-338-3760;

detroitcitydistillery.com

From 5-7 p.m. on Friday, DCD will offer pickleback shots called “HorseBack Shots” made with its Horseradish Vodka, a “Me-So-Irish Paloma” cocktail, and an Irish coffee station.

Saturday, March 16

Detroit Shamrock Festival

401 Gratiot Ave., Detroit

Talk about a “big tent party.” From noon-10 p.m., with music by DJ Godfather, DJ Chrome, DJ Chuck D, DJ Cue, Choff, Bobby Laenen (Tiki Barge), DJ Modz, Hartmando, and DJ Lito. (More information at Eventbrite.)

District 142

142 Maple St., Wyandotte; district142live.com

This is home base for a “Leprechaun Crawl” taking place across downtown Wyandotte. Shuttles run from noon8 p.m. and live music includes Black

Murray, the Codgers, Ironwood, and Sunset Blvd. Tickets are $10 for access to District 142 only and $15 for the Leprechaun Crawl pass. (More information at Facebook.)

Eastern Palace Club

21509 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 248-850-8165; epchp.com Starting on Thursday, this Hazel Park hangout celebrates with themed cocktails, a special menu from Smoked Lotus, and more. No cover.

Ford Road Patio & Grill

18490 Ford Rd., Detroit; 313-406-4351; fordrdpatiobar. com

From 10 p.m.-2 a.m. No cover. (More information at Facebook.)

Greektown Bar Crawl

Greektown, Downtown

From 4-10 p.m. Tickets are $7.77-$15. Tickets grant access to multiple bars, no cover, with all-access tickets available for both Saturday and Sunday. (More information at Eventbrite.)

Kelly’s Irish Pub

3701 S. Telegraph Rd., Dearborn; 313-563-7510;

kellysirishpubdearborn.com

Ask Mary at 8 p.m. and DJ Vinnie at 10 p.m.

Malone’s Tavern

32350 Van Dyke Ave., Warren; 586-978-0055; malonestavern.com

Live band at 8 p.m.

Urbanrest Brewing Company

880 E. Oakridge St., Ferndale; 313-389-6439; urbanrest.com

From noon-7 p.m. Irish food, drinks… and kombucha! (More information at Facebook.)

Sunday, March 17

220 Merrill

220 E. Merrill St., Birmingham; 248-646-2220; experience220.com

Starts at 11 a.m. Festivities include music and drink specials. (More information at Facebook.)

Ann Arbor Bar Crawl

Downtown Ann Arbor; pubcrawls.com

Starts at 1 p.m. Tickets are $14.99.

Atwater in the Park

1175 Lakepointe St. Grosse Pointe Park; 313-344-5104;

atwaterbeer.com

Day drinking in the biergarten from 2-5 p.m. Festivities include acoustic music and beer pong. (More information at Facebook.)

Blarney Stone Pub

27253 Woodward Ave., Berkley; blarneystonepub.com

No details were available at press time, but you can expect this Irish-themed bar to celebrate the holiday.

CK Diggs

2010 W. Auburn Rd., Rochester Hills; 248-853-6600; ckdiggs.com

Open from noon to 10 p.m. (More information at Facebook.)

Clawson Bar Crawl

Downtown Clawson, pubcrawls.com

From 5-11 p.m. Check-in is at 51 W. 14 Mile Rd., Clawson. Tickets start at $24.99 with group deals available and grant access to four bars.

Corktown Bar Crawl

Corktown, Detroit

From 4-10 p.m. Tickets are $7.77-$15. Tickets grant access to multiple bars, no cover, with all-access tickets available for both Saturday and Sunday. (More information at Eventbrite.)

Corktown Tavern

1716 Michigan Ave., Detroit; facebook.com/corktowntavern

Starts at 3 p.m. with music by DJ Angel.

Danny’s Irish Pub

22824 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-546-8331

You just know there will be shenanigans at this Ferndale Irish pub.

Detroit Bar Crawl

Downtown Detroit

From 4-10 p.m. Tickets are $7.77-$15. Tickets grant access to multiple bars, no cover, with all-access tickets available for both Saturday and Sunday. (More information at Eventbrite.)

Dick O’Dow’s

160 W. Maple Rd., Birmingham; 248-642-1135; dickodowspub.com

Details were not available at press time, but expect this Birmingham favorite to go all out on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Duffy’s Pub

3320 Auburn Rd., Auburn Hills; 248-852-2222; facebook.com/DuffysPubAH

No details were available at press time.

Duggan’s Irish Pub

31501 Woodward Ave., Royal Oak; dugganspub.com

Details were not available at press time, but expect this Royal Oak favorite to go all out on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Eastern Palace Club

21509 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 248-850-8165; epchp.com

Starting on Thursday, this Hazel Park hangout celebrates with themed cocktails, a special menu from Smoked Lotus, and more. No cover.

Greektown Bar Crawl

Greektown, Detroit

From 4-10 p.m. Tickets are $7.77-$15. Tickets grant access to multiple bars, no cover, with all-access tickets available for both Saturday and Sunday. (More information at Eventbrite.)

Gus’ Snug Irish Pub

38 S. Main St., Clawson; 248-608-2537; gussnug.com Doors at 7 a.m. Free Irish breakfast served until 9 a.m. Live music and Irish dancers. (More information at Facebook.)

Hamlin Pub

Multiple locations; hamlinpubs.com

Doors open early at 9 a.m. Festivities include Irish menu, drink specials, swag, giveaways, and live music.

HopCat

4265 Woodward Ave., Detroit | 17800 Haggerty Rd., Livonia 430 S Main St., Royal Oak hopcat.com

Dozens of beer on tap.

House of Shamrocks

23420 John R Rd., Hazel Park; 248-543-8388; houseofshamrocks.com

No details were available at press time.

Ireland’s Pub

33401 Harper Ave., Clinton Twp.; 586-229-2700; irelandspubclintontwp.com

No details were available at press time.

Irish Coffee Bar and Grill

18666 Mack Ave., Grosse Pointe Farms; 313-881-5675

No details were available at press time.

Irish Tavern Madison Heights

29028 N. Campbell Rd., Madison Heights; 248-591-4039; itmadisonheights.com

Starts at 9:30 p.m. with karaoke and food and drink specials. (More information at Instagram.)

Irish Tavern Waterford

4703 Elizabeth Lake Rd., Waterford Twp.; 248-683-9056; itwaterford.com

Starts at 7 a.m. with Irish breakfast served until 10 a.m. and live music throughout the day.

John Cowley & Son’s

33338 Grand River Ave., Farmington; johncowleyandsons.com

Doors open at 10 a.m., with Shawn Riley at noon and 50 Amp Fuse at 4 p.m. Cover is $5 and 21+ only upstairs, while downstairs is all-ages and has no cover.

Kay Jay’s Irish Pub

5491 Auburn Rd., Shelby Township; kayjaysirishpub.com “Join us for warm beer, lousy food, and live music!” reads the cheeky flier for

this party. Sign us up!

Kelly’s Irish Pub

3701 S. Telegraph Rd., Dearborn; 313-563-7510; kellysirishpubdearborn.com

Open at 9 a.m., with the Barley Brothers at noon, the Two Johnnies at 3 p.m., and the Codgers at 7 p.m.

Kennedy’s Irish Pub

1055 W. Huron St., Waterford Twp.; 248-681-1050; kennedysirishpub.com

Starts at 7 a.m. with Irish music all day.

Locker Room Lounge

18290 Livernois Ave., Detroit; 313-600-2199; lockeroomlounge.com

Starts at noon, with a party bus departing at 4 p.m. Includes entry to four bars plus a complimentary “green tea.” Tickets start at $30 and are available at stpatricksdetroit.com.

Malone’s Tavern

32350 Van Dyke Ave., Warren; 586-978-0055; malonestavern.com

Starts at 9 a.m. with Irish music throughout the day.

Mangan’s Irish Hut

49 N. Rose St., Mount Clemens; 586-468-5105; mangansirishhut.com

No details were available at press time.

Mary Donnelly’s Public House

3011 Orchard Lake Rd., Keego Harbor; 248-681-3111; marydonnellys.com

From 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

McClenaghan’s Pub

52500 Van Dyke Ave., Shelby Twp.; 586-739-2913

No details were available at press time.

McShane’s Irish Pub & Whiskey Bar

1460 Michigan Ave., Detroit; mcshanespub.com

No details were available at press time.

MIX Bricktown

641 Beaubien St., Detroit; 313-962-9548; mixbricktown.com

Starts at 10 a.m. with a la carte brunch.

DJs start at 3 p.m. Tickets start at $15 and are available at stpatricksdetroit.com.

Mulligan’s Pub & Grub

27406 Eight Mile Rd., Farmington Hills; 248-471-0777; facebook.com/Mulliganspubandgrub

No details were available at press time.

O’Connor’s Public House

324 S. Main St., Rochester; 248-608-2537; oconnorsrochester.com

Festivities start at 7 a.m. with a free Irish breakfast until 9 a.m., two music stages, and seven full bars. The first 100 people get a free engraved Guinness glass. (More information at Facebook.)

Old Shillelagh

349 Monroe St., Detroit; 313-964-0007; oldshillelagh.com

As the Old Shillelagh’s 49th annual Saint Patrick’s Day, this is one of the biggest parties in the city. The action starts at 7 a.m. with music from Black Mist, Vernon David Trio, and more throughout the day. (More information at Facebook.)

O’Malley’s Pub

15231 Farmington Rd., Livonia; 734-427-7775; omalleyslivonia.com

Starts at 8 a.m., with music all day including Power Play Detroit at 8 p.m. (More information at Facebook.)

One Mike Detroit

1331 Broadway St., Detroit; onemikedetroit.com

From 1 p.m.-4 a.m. Tickets are $19.99. (More information at Eventbrite.)

O’Tooles

205 Fifth Ave., Royal Oak; otoolespubs.com

From 10 a.m.-2 a.m. Live bands and DJs. Cover is $10.

Orchid Theatre

141 W. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale; orchid-theatre.com From 2 p.m.-2 a.m.

Shamrock Pub

7715 Auburn Rd., Utica; 586-731-6886; shamrockpubutica.com

No details were available at press time.

Sheehan’s On the Green

39450 Five Mile Rd., Plymouth; 734-420-0646; sheehansonthegreen.com

Starts at 10 a.m.

The Lucky Leprechaun Irish Pub

32456 Gratiot Ave., Roseville; 586-204-3376

Doors open at 9 a.m. Food and drink specials, DJ, and live band.

The Morrie Royal Oak

511 S. Main St., Royal Oak; themorrie.com

From noon-2 a.m. Food and drink specials, giveaways, and music by DJ Bangerz and DJ Whip. Tickets are $10 or $400 for a VIP table. (More information at Eventbrite.)

Three Blind Mice Irish Pub

101 N. Main St., Mount Clemens; 586-961-6371; threeblindmiceirishpub.com

Starts at 8 a.m. Music from MotorCity Josh, Doin’ Time, Half Light Music, Last Exit, and 9D Proof.

Trina O’Malley’s

6752 Allen Rd., Allen Park; facebook.com/timothyomalleys

No details were available at press time.

Royal Oak Bar Crawl

Downtown Royal Oak

From 4-10 p.m. Tickets are $7.77-$15. Tickets grant access to multiple bars, no cover, with all-access tickets available for both Saturday and Sunday. (More information at Eventbrite.)

WHAT’S GOING ON

Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

MUSIC

Wednesday, March 13

Gloryhammer, Twilight Force 6 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $30.

TopHouse, the Wildwoods 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $17.

Ministry, Gary Numan, Front Line Assembly 6 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $39.50-$74.50.

Woodbridge Pub & The Preservation of Jazz Presents Just Jazz & Blues Every Wednesday Night 7-11 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; no cover.

Thursday, March 14

Kim Dracula, Jeris Johnson, Tallah 6:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $30.50.

Fruition, Willy Tea Taylor 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $22.

NOAHFINNCE, Chase Petra, TX2, Teenage Joans 6 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.

Snozzberries, Suede Brain, Pepper & the Heavy Boys 8 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $15. The Decibel Magazine Tour 2024 with Hulder, Devil Master, Worm, Necrofier 6:30 pm; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $25 advance, $30 day of show.

Tyler Booth, Family Tradition Band, Daniel Harrison & The $2 Highway 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $15.

DJ/Dance

Kaivon, Mistah Dill, Scrwny 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18-$65.

Friday, March 15

Alkaline Trio, Drug Church 7 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $35-$69.50.

Anthony Green, Queen of Jeans 6 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Wood-

ward Ave., Ferndale; $30.

Ben Hemsley, Dino Munaco, ARCS, IOTA 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20.

Big Bubble Rave 9 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $18-$28.

Candlelight: Tribute to Nirvana 6:30-9:45 p.m.; Sanctuary Church Birmingham, 300 Willits St, Birmingham; $35.

Diamond Rio, Harper Grace 8 p.m.; FIM Capitol Theatre, 140 E 2nd Street, Flint; $40-$100.

Dorian Electra, Uffie, Izzy Spears 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $24.50.

80’s vs 90’s: Mega 80s vs Class of ‘98 7 pm; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $25.

Meet the Orchestra! Concert 12:30 p.m.; The Whiting, 1241 E. Kearsley St., Flint; $8-$15.

Mihali, Act Casual 8 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $20.

Neil Forever - Performing the Music of Neil Diamond 7 p.m.; Emerald Theatre, 31 N. Walnut St., Mount Clemens; $25-$250.

No Quarter Led Zeppelin Tribute 8 p.m.; Andiamo Celebrity Showroom, 7096 E. 14 Mile Rd., Warren; $35-$69.

Peter Frampton - Never Ever Say Never Tour 8 p.m.; Caesars Palace Windsor - Augustus Ballroom, 377 E. Riverside Dr., Windsor; $43-$128.

The Dollyrots, The Boreouts, Bathroom Of The Future 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $20.

The Eagles Project 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $18-$28.

Saturday, March 16

Bear Grillz, YOOKiE, LOUIEJAYXX, Brainrack, Attak, Nickyboom, Demise, Cyberspvce, Trxxed, Hair Brain, Pandalicious 8 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $25.

Between You & Me, Young Culture, Homesafe, Cherie Amour 6 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $22.

Candlelight: A Tribute to Beyoncé 6:30-9:45 p.m.; Christ Church-Detroit, 960 E. Jefferson, Detroit; $34.

Le Youth, Thay 8 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18-$23.

March 13-19, 2024 | metrotimes.com

Linden Thoburn Trio & The Lucky Nows 7 pm; MAMA’s Coffeehouse at the Birmingham Unitarian Church, 38651 Woodward Ave., Bloomfield Hills; $17.00 ($15 student/senior).

LoudFoxCult, Camino Kid, Moravian, Something Missing, Vert Terms 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15.

Otoboke Beaver, Killing Pixies 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25.

Post Sex Nachos 8 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $15.

Songwriter Rounds featuring Mark Jewett, Amy Petty, Mia Green 8 p.m.; Wiltsie’s, 4 S. Main St., Clarkston; $15 - $25.

Takeover 5: Gucci Mane, Rick Ross, Plies, Juvenile and Trina 8 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $79-$225.

Tapestry - Carole King Songbook 8 p.m.; Emerald Theatre, 31 N. Walnut St., Mount Clemens; $20-$200.

Toboggan Man ft. Pia the Band and Lausten Found 9-11:30 p.m.; The Congregation Detroit, 9321 Rosa Parks Blvd., Detroit; $15.

DJ/Dance

Paul Oakenfold, blklght, Kawsan, Fedo, Da11as 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $20-$25.

SORTED! MOD CLUB dance party

9 p.m.-1 a.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

Sunday, March 17

Chris Beard CD release party 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $10-$90.

Dionne Warwick 7:30 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $59-$79.

Early Eyes, Thank You, I’m Sorry, Pictoria Vark, The Telephone Poles 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15.

GROUPLOVE, Bully (Solo) 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $40.50.

Kelly Price 7:30 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $42-$55. Circles Around The Sun x Mikaela Davis and Southern Star 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $25.

ShamROCKin’ with American

Idiots: A Green Day Tribute 3 p.m.; Diamondback Music Hall, 49345 S. Interstate 94 Service Dr., Belleville; $17-$300.

Monday, March 18

Live/Concert

Mia x Ally 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $23.

Mitch Rowland, Harris Harper 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $25.

DJ/Dance

Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.

Tuesday, March 19

Arm’s Length, Carly Cosgrove, Ben Quad 6:30 pm; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $20.

Funky Rivertown Festival 7:30 pm; Riverside Arts Center, 76 N. Huron St., Ypsilanti; $10-$60.

Offset, Skilla Baby, SleazyWorld Go, YRN Mango Foo 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $37.50-$77.50.

Reverend Robert B. Jones: Alpino Roots Cellar Music Series 6:30-8 p.m.; Alpino, 1426 Bagley St, Detroit; $10 in advance, $15 at the door.

Voivod, Prong 7 p.m.; Harpo’s, 14238 Harper Avenue, Detroit; $30-$100.

Wayne “The Train” Hancock 7 p.m.; Small’s, 10339 Conant St., Hamtramck; $15.

DJ/Dance

B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 pm-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover.

THEATER

Performance

The Berman Center for the Performing Arts Hedy! The Life & Inventions Of Hedy Lamarr, A One Woman Show; $25-45; Thursday, 7:30-9 p.m. and Friday, 1-3:30 p.m.

Fisher Theatre - Detroit The Cher Show; Wednesday, 7:30 p.m.; Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 & 6:30 p.m.; Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Matrix Theatre Company Material Advantage; $20-$25; Fridays, Saturdays, 8-10:30 p.m. and Sundays, 3-5:30 p.m.

Planet Ant Theatre A Gooder Grief: A Planet Ant original one-act; $20; Friday, 7 p.m.; Saturday, 7 p.m.; and Sunday, 7 p.m.

Musical

On Your Feet! The Story of Emilio & Gloria Estefan Wednesday, 7:30-9 p.m.; The Whiting, 1241 E. Kearsley St., Flint; $30-$85.

COMEDY

Improv

Detroit Public Theatre The Improv Project Showcase; $5; Saturday, 2-4 p.m. Go Comedy! Improv Theater Go Comedy! All-Star Showdown; $20; Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.

Planet Ant Theatre Hip-Prov: Improv with a Dash of Hip-Hop; $10 second Wednesday of every month, 7 p.m.

Podcast: Live podcast

Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts The Psychology of Serial Killers; $25-$55; Friday; 8 p.m.

COMEDY

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle

Clinton Jackson, Dougie Almeida, Dan Turco; $25; Thursday, 7:30-9 p.m.

Continuing This Week Stand-up

Blind Pig Blind Pig Comedy FREE Mondays, 8 p.m.

The Independent Comedy Club at Planet Ant The Sh*t Show Open Mic; $5 suggested donation; Fridays, Saturdays, 11 p.m.-1:30 a.m.

DANCE

Dance performance

The Music Hall Music Hall Center

Present Trinity Irish Dance Company

$30-$50 Friday, 8 p.m.

FILM

Screening

Motor City Cinema Society Superman Part 1 (Extended TV version)

Monday 6:30 p.m.

ARTS

Art Exhibition

Dancing Eye Gallery Possum Punks

Pop Up Possum Punks Trunk Show At Dancing Eye; no cover; Saturday, 1-5 p.m.

Detroit Historical Museum 313 Day; no cover; Wednesday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Critics’ picks Twisted Storytellers

WORDS: The Secret Society of Twisted Storytellers is hosting a special evening with all women presenters for Women’s History Month. Woman Queen Power, hosted by the bad bitch storyteller herself Satori Shakoor (as always), is set for Friday in the Marygrove Theater. “To be a woman is to have extraordinary tales of strength, perseverance, and triumph,” Shakoor said. “Woman Queen Power is a tribute to these incredible narratives that deserve to be heard and cherished.” The storytellers for the evening are Regina Hall, Scheherazade Washington Parrish, Malika Williams, and Sara Young. There will also be live music from Zosette Guir and a performance by the Harris Dance Company. There are no ticket sales at the door, so be sure to snag one online ahead of time at twistedtellers.org.

—Randiah Camille Green

Doors at 6:30 p.m. on Friday, March 15; Marygrove Theater, 8425 W. McNichols Rd., Detroit; twistedtellers. org. Tickets are $20.

313 Day Detroit Artists Market

ART: In honor of 313 Day, local “art dealer” Art Nuttz is hosting a Detroit Artists Market at Extra Crispy

Studios. The free event will feature art, streetwear, toys, home goods, and fashion, all crafted by Detroit artists. The hope is for the market to not only allow local artists to sell and showcase their work, but also be a place for connecting with fellow creative people in the city. There will also be models, videographers, stylists, photographers, designers, and more present, so you could meet your next collaborator or even just make a new friend. Food will also be provided by Chef Fresh and music will be spun by DJ Tiptonaires. Extra Crispy Studios announced on March 6 that they are moving from their Michigan Avenue space on April 1, so this may be one of your last chances to visit. While the upcoming event is free to attend, $25 tickets can be purchased on Eventbrite for anyone who wants a special 313 Day gift bag.

—Layla McMurtrie

From noon-5 p.m. on Saturday, March 16; Extra Crispy Studios, 4859 Michigan Ave., Detroit. No cover.

Audra Kubat

MUSIC: Detroit-born musician Audra Kubat will be at the Detroit Institute of Arts this weekend, not only to perform, but also to share her songwriting knowledge with others. On Saturday, the award-winning singersongwriter, composer, and educator

will allow guests to become contributors to her art during two sessions at noon and 1 p.m. The workshops will be a collaboration between Kubat and guests to write a song inspired by select artworks within the DIA, mainly created by women artists. The guided songwriting process will start with a creative discussion, developing observations into lyrics, and finally being paired with a melody that will become a cohesive, reflective lyrical piece of music. Through the collaborative activity, participants will gain some understanding of how to turn visual inspiration into a song. The songs created during the workshops will be performed by a group led by Kubat at the concert that follows at 2 p.m. The family-friendly show will feature favorite songs from Kubat’s catalog, plus the new tracks, with the artist joined by celebrated musicians Emily Rose and Ozzie Andrews. The workshops and the concert will take place in the DIA’s Rivera Court. Limited spaces are available for the workshops, so early registration is required. Anyone interested in participating can register now online at dia.org.

—Layla McMurtrie

Concert at 2 p.m. on Saturday, March 16; Detroit Institute of Arts; 5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-8337900; dia.org. Admission is free for residents of Wayne, Macomb, and Oakland counties.

You can learn from Audra Kubat at the DIA this Saturday.

DOUG COOMBE

ALL YOUR TEAMS PLAYING ON OUR BIG SCREENS!

Fri 3/15

MAMMON/SOMETHING IS WAITING(CHI)/GATOR PIT (black metal/nu metal/ metalcore)

Doors@9p/$5cover

Sat 3/16

3RD ANNUAL BARFLY AWARDS HOSTED BY JIMMY DOOM THERE’S STILL TIME TO VOTE!

Doors@9p/$5cover

Sun 3/17 ST PATTY’S DAY!

OPEN @ 11AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEREK TEMPLETON!

Mon 3/18

FREE POOL ALL DAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DONNY TYREE, DANIEL “BOOTSIE”, & ANDREW LORENCE!

Tues 3/19

B. Y. O. R. BRING YOUR OWN RECORDS (WEEKLY)

Open Decks@8PM NO COVER IG: @byor_tuesdays_old_miami

Coming Up:

3/22 Craig Brown Band/Matthew Teardrop/Hill Killer

3/23 SeaHag/Permanently Pissed/EKG

3/24 Nain Rouge After Party w/ BANGERZ & JAMZ

3/30 Matt Smiley’s Birthday Bash 4/05 DJ Skeez & Friends

4/05 TIGERS OPENING DAY!

4/06 The End of Ends/Hiding Salem/Second Hand Drugs/ Belling The Tiger

4/12 DEATH CAT/Come Out Fighting /Idiot Kids

Book Your Parties at The Old Miami

Email us: theoldmiamibarevents@gmail.com

MUSIC

Rashida Tlaib introduces

Living Wage for Musicians Act

The latest target of U.S. Rep. Rashida Tlaib? The music industry.

Last Wednesday, the congresswoman announced the Living Wage for Musicians Act, new legislation aimed at reforming the music industry and digital streaming platforms like Spotify that pay only fractions of a penny per streamed song.

Tlaib partnered with New York congressman Jamaal Bowman for the bill, as well as the United Musicians and Allied Workers (UMAW) and local and national artists.

“Detroit is one of the music capitals of the world, and our artists here have changed the music industry and our culture in so many incredible ways,” Tlaib said in a statement. “It’s only right that the people who create the music we love get their fair share, so that they can thrive, not just survive.”

The Living Wage for Musicians Act proposes a new royalty compensation for streams for artists at one cent per stream. Currently, musicians make fractions of a penny per stream. At Spotify, the world’s largest streaming service, artists make a piddling $0.003 per stream.

The proposed legislation was celebrated by local and national independent artists.

“I’m very grateful for Rashida’s work to bring overdue changes to the music industry that restore equity and a sense of value for musicians all over,” Detroit artist and WDET radio host Shigeto said in a statement. “Artists have been taken advantage of since the inception of digital streaming. The Living Wage for Musicians Act gives voice to independent musicians and could potentially change a lot of artists’ lives by giving them a sustainable revenue stream.”

“There is a lot of talk in the industry about how to ‘fix’ streaming – but the streaming platforms and major labels have already had their say for more than a decade, and they have failed musicians,” said UMAW organizer and musician Damon Krukowski, a former

member of indie rock band Galaxie 500 who now performs as psych-folk duo Damon and Naomi. “The Living Wage for Musicians Act presents a new, artistcentered solution to make streaming work for the many and not just the few. We need to return value to recordings by injecting more money into the system, and we need to pay artists and musicians directly for streaming their work.”

In a statement, the bill’s sponsors say that reforming streaming would help the entire music industry, which has faced hardship in the digital era with a decades-long decline in record sales and especially following the labor shortages and supply chain issues caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

“By creating a fund that directly compensates recording artists and musicians, the bill will allow vastly more artists to achieve a living wage from music, enabling them to pay rent, raise a family, buy a home, and invest in their future,” a press release states. “Recording artists also employ many other professionals in the music industry, all of whom are suffering from the current lack of financial return from streaming: producers, arrangers, sound engineers, mastering engineers, recording studios, non-featured performers and others will all benefit from these direct payments to recording musicians.”

It adds, “The bill raises the standard of living for these workers which will reverberate beyond just the music industry by injecting more money into our local economies.”

The Living Wage for Musicians Act would tax the non-subscription revenues of digital streaming providers like Spotify, Apple Music, and Amazon, as well as add a small fee to the price of music streaming subscriptions. The bill also includes a maximum payout per track per month “in order to generate more sustainable income for a broader and more diverse set of artists beyond the world’s most popular performers.”

“Streaming services wouldn’t exist without the brilliant work of artists who choose to share their music with these platforms,” Bowman said in a statement. “Streaming services make billions of dollars a year off the hard work of musicians, but those creators make less than a penny every time we stream their songs. It is unconscionable that in order to buy a cup of coffee, an artist needs someone to stream their song over a thousand times. Artists and musicians across the country deserve to be paid for their work. I represent the Bronx, the birthplace of Hip Hop, where music is the foundation of our communities. They all deserve to be paid fairly for their incredible and transformative art. The music industry can and should work for everyone, especially up and coming and independent artists who use streaming to share their work with the world. Ensuring streaming services pay their artists a fair wage is just a first step to ensure the artists in our communities can pay their bills while following their passion.”

—Lee DeVito

U.S. Rep. Rashida Tlaib celebrates the Living Wage for Musicians Act outside of Detroit’s Motown Museum. COURTESY PHOTO

‘You will love each other’

How authenticity made Health bigger than ever

By Konstantina Buhalis

L.A.-based industrial rock outfit Health has redefined dark electronic and industrial music for nearly two decades, constantly evolving and pushing the boundaries of noise rock. With a new album, Rat Wars, under their belt and a tour underway, the band is ready to strike out again and seduce more fans into joining the industrial world.

John Famiglietti (bass, pedals, electronics) says the popularity of Health was less of an explosion and more of a slow grind over the years. “It’s definitely the best time,” he says. “From my perspective on the ground, it’s just been incremental gains, you know?”

Health has built a steady fan base since 2007 after Crystal Castles remixed its track “Crimewave”, and in 2008, Health’s remix album Health/Disco was a critic favorite, leading the band to support Nine Inch Nails on its Lights in the Sky tour. After a few video game soundtrack appearances, Health released Death Magic, Disco3, Vol.4:

Slaves of Fear, and its Disco4 series, finally leading up to its latest, Rat Wars, released in December.

The band has always boasted a unique sound that can be hard to define by genre, but even without a standard descriptor, audiences have embraced it. “It’s like a joke we make,” Famiglietti says. “We’ve always been this bleak dystopian music about a bleak or sci-fi sort of future in certain ways. And the times just caught up to the music, so now we’re just making appropriate music for the time. Maybe that’s it. Or also, these kids, like, they’re just fucking depressed.”

Health’s fanbase is skewing younger; keeping up with the scene has never been a chore or a challenge. Rat Wars took a new direction with heavy 1990s inspiration, taking the guesswork out of classifying Health and streamlining their ability to reach new fans. “We want to be reaching the people we’re trying to reach,” Famiglietti says. “We’re still conservative in terms of, like, we

kind of just start growing on itself. … It starts coming from the fans, and then it becomes this thing, and now we’re all really into it.”

Health takes inspiration from other media, and Famigletti laments the lack of inspiring American cinema. “I think for kids now, American movies suck dick,” he says. “There’s just no light. They’re so sterile and weird, and all this stuff on streaming, it’s fucking trash. Kids are watching classic or new anime, and it’s full of all this fucking life and just bizarreness, and it’s touching kids. That’s why anime is the biggest it’s ever been. It’s way bigger than it was during the ’90s, you know, so it’s just like, certain pieces of media in the same way that cool bands back then would always reference the coolest movie out, because it was just like, you’re guaranteed to be a fan of both because it was just the coolest shit. And there’s just not a ton of stuff like that right now.”

In a callous and often cruel world, Health’s thesis statement is, “You will love each other.” Taken from John Robbins’ Diet For a New America, Famiglietti says the phrase instantly struck him. “It’s, like, the end of the sort of biblical passage because it’s sort of a command, so it had this creepy thing where it’s you’re not exactly sure the meaning,” he says. The sentiment permeates the ideology of Health with its promise of dedication to one another.

started with regular songs, and we don’t want to annoy anybody, but we’re always looking for new sonic gimmicks and new sonic inspiration and trying to always listen to new music and get inspired.”

At the crossroads of nostalgia and the near future, Health recently released a cover of Deftones’ “Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)” for Spotify’s Metal playlist. Blending the industrial sensibilities of Health with the nu-metal and shoegaze elements of the ’90s alternative radio is the band’s use of vintage anime aesthetics, with Famiglietti even wearing an Asuka “plugsuit” from Neon Genesis Evangelion in pictures. “It only works because it’s genuine and only works because it’s really fan-derived,” he says. “I talk to the fans every day,” on the group’s Discord server, he says. “They’re introducing me to stuff, they’re influencing the band.”

He adds, “When we post memes … these are my favorite memes from the Health discord, and all these things

While the goth and goth-adjacent genres seem to be under daily scrutiny from the participants, Health’s place has been cemented in the pantheon of greats, but they don’t stress about the future. While trends change and the internet keeps rediscovering the alternative music wheel, Health continues to adapt and grow.

“We’re never gonna do anything that we don’t want to do, or we just feel is just lame or artistically invalid,” Famiglietti says. “We will stay true to ourselves and always, so if we can make that align with what’s going on, well, that’s very good.” For now, the members of Health are happy where they’re at and proud of the community they’ve built. Pixel Grip and King Yosef will support Health on the tour, bringing a sexy Industrial EBM show to Detroit. Famiglietti promises a killer vibe. “We’re going to blow your dick off,” he says. “How about that?”

Health performs with Pixel Grip and King Yosef on Wednesday, March 20 at the Majestic Theatre; 4140 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-9700; majesticdetroit.com. Tickets are $25 advance, $30 day of show.

Health performs at Detroit’s Majestic Theatre on Wednesday, March 20.

MYNXII WHITE

FOOD

Here’s to you, Cadieux

Cadieux Café

4300 Cadieux Rd., Detroit

313-882-8560

cadieuxcafe.com

Cool is a quality difficult to define. There’s a feel to it, hard to put a finger on. If Cadieux Café is anything, it’s kinda cool, and my job here is to do that description justice. In response to one of our readers who recently took me to task over my love for the alliterative (sorry, still struggling, sir) and a penchant for “clunky,” run-on sentences (again, my apologies here), I’m resolved to write this review as clearly and concisely as I can.

Bear with me. I’ll get better.

Cool’s unknown quantity aside, Cadieux Café boasts one quality all bars and restaurants work hard hoping to emulate: it’s busy as can be. Walking in for dinner without a reservation on a recent Saturday evening, we were nearly turned away at the door.

“Sorry, every table’s already taken,” a server let us know as though we should have known better than to just pop-in. Who knew? This place looks corner

By Robert Stempkowski

bar casual, inside and out. Being told Cadieux’s quaint and still mostly empty space was booked solid surprised me. Suddenly stopped in our tracks, sure enough, we noticed “reserved” signage atop every table, and felt instantly excluded. “You might find seats at the bar,” the server offered what consolation he could. Luckily, we did.

Squeezing ourselves in, we sat down and ordered mussels, Belgium’s signature seafood and something Cadieux serves a la “Citroen” (bathed in lemon and fresh dill), “Forte Di Marmi” (garlic-white wine fume), and “Spicy” (subtly so, in Provencal-style tomatobasil broth). Like pros, we polished off impressively generous half-orders of all three ($15.95-$16.95, full orders $21.95); probably four dozen fresh, plump, moules served in big, steaming bowls with a choice of sides. Of those, crispy, longer-cooked fries paired classically well with our shellfish medley. Almost burnt to a crisp brussels sprouts ($2.00 upcharge) and mashed potatoes — made no better than average for their folding-in with wilted spinach — didn’t make as good an impression.

As we segued into soups, Cadieux started filling up fast. Turned around in

tive,” I teased her. “But I’m 61, so from small talk to foreplay and beyond, we’ll need to be finished by 9:30.”

By the time our main courses arrived, people were lined-up three-deep behind us to order drinks. Hands waving credit cards came between us. Loud voices barking beer, wine, and cocktail orders started ringing in our ears. Some helped drown out thoughts of buyer’s remorse over my Belgian Beer Stew ($16.95). Though its brothy, Belgian Ale-laced sauce (not nearly a gravy) packed plenty of beefy punch, it offered precious little substance besides; three or four bites of meat, maybe as many cut carrots, a single forkful of potato, and a preponderance of peas. Friend’s fish and chips ($15.95) proved a far better choice, with crispy, beer-battered cod fried just right and sided with crunchy-creamy slaw and another pile of pommes frites we appreciated as much as the first. And a plate of Belgian sausage ($12.95) brought mixed reviews. I liked the simple salt-and-pepper-seasoned links for their leanness and the snap of nicely browned and crisped skins, while friend who ordered them found them “dry and dull.” To each, his and her own. As to the braised red cabbage and mashed taters (hold the spinach by request), I failed to even try the former but rather liked the latter for both their buttery flavor and a slightly browned quality that reminded me of homemade mashed potatoes reheated in a frying pan. One wonders if that’s part of the process at Cadieux. If so, I’ve no complaint whatsoever.

my barstool by all the buzz and bustle behind us, I took in the café’s vintage beer garden vibe: a close-quartered communal space framed with Old World and industrial Detroit-era photography of former Tour de France cyclists, Belgian street scenes, Great Lakes industry, iconic Detroit architecture, and such. With quirky-cool feather bowling happening in an adjacent space (think Italian bocce meets Scottish-Canadian curling with a curvy twist), and a live band booked to entertain a big following, we started feeling lively and lucky in our catbird seats at the bar. Before we’d finished good-asgold onion soup (sherry-kissed? $7.25) and fewer spoonfuls of tapioca-thick and floury clam chowder ($4.95), we’d chatted up everyone around us. Bartender Brian (also a chef around town) was good enough to pen me a short list of his personal restaurant recommendations. A guy from North Carolina and I struck up conversation over the Duke baseball jersey I was wearing, and a woman to my left allowed harmless me some fairly innocent flirtations over the elbows we kept literally rubbing as she tipped hers with a friend.

“Keep drinking till you find me attrac-

After bar staff informed us that Cadieux’s desserts were limited to Sander’s hot fudge Sundaes with or without cream puff ($6.95 and $4.95 respectively), we declined, deciding instead to surrender our seats to those who, by then, were pressing in to the point of breathing on our necks. With a friend feeling a bit claustrophobic and me hearing the siren song of a just-reopened Froyo shop back in Dearborn, we settled-up and said goodnight. I thanked Brian for the restaurant suggestions he’d jotted down (get ready, Mr. Paul’s, we’re coming in for Chateaubriand soon) and said goodnight to the strangers we’d had such fun making friends with at cool, convivial Cadieux. Then I left thinking I’d be back again for sure. For more mussels. For another seat at the bar and the service. For conversations with a crowd that seems to enjoy shooting the shit with strangers as much as I do, and for another taste of a watering hole space that satisfies the social animal in me to no end.

This is that kind of place. So, go have some mussels. Broaden your horizons with feather bowling. Mix it up with an eclectic crowd. And stay for the show. I will next time. Cadieux’s just too cool.

The Cadieux Café draws an eclectic crowd.

MICHELLE GERARD

Chowhound

Whiz kid

By Robert Stempkowski

Chowhound is a weekly column about what’s trending in Detroit food culture. Tips: eat@metrotimes.com.

As a waiter, Manuel was a marvel. He recited daily specials and answered menu questions with the rote confidence of a Rhodes Scholar. From taking orders to delivering dishes, he never wrote things down nor mixed things up.

Manuel worked at a Scottsdale Mexican restaurant I used to frequent with my then-wife and children on Sundays after church. We took note of his exceptional service and began requesting to be sat in his station.

“We want Manuel,” was the way my daughter put it to the hosts at the door in those days. Spoiled by the triple cherry Shirley Temples he’d treat her and little brother to, Brittany echoed the appreciation we felt for our favorite server.

Whisked away to one of Manuel’s tables, we’d pretty much cheer when he’d appear, which eventually led to him taking almost a bullfighter’s noble bows before us, doffing an imaginary cap while clutching his trusty cocktail tray against his side as though it were some

scarlet cape. Then, to the applause of little Brittany and Tim, Manuel would spin that disc on one fingertip while letting us in on the daily food and drink features.

“But I’m guessing you’ll be having your usual,” Manuel would smartly segue, always guessing right. “Two Cadillac Margs, one no salt, and a side of salsa macha with the chips for the grownups.”

We rarely needed to say a word. But there was something I needed to do that day which even Manuel couldn’t do for me.

“My back teeth are floating,” I let the wife know I had to go in my best Cheech & Chong impersonation of a line borrowed from their “Pedro and Man at the Drive-Inn” skit.

“Why can’t you ever just excuse yourself without being crude?” Wifey rolled her eyes toward the kids while they just giggled. But we dads are just guys in disguise, right, fellas? Give me potty humor liberties or give me death.

Then again, as funny as bodily functions can be, even we men have our limits, and I was about to bump into mine. Seconds into my pit stop, I suddenly found myself in familiar company. Manuel had popped in, and

But that didn’t happen. For the record, Manuel didn’t even bother to wash his hands before getting back to work.

“Get up, we’re going,” I reached for my wife, getting back before Manuel’s next table touch.

“Going?” She was startled. “What’s wrong?”

“C’mon, kids,” I insisted. “Dad has to leave. We’ll come back later.”

“But he’s here with our drinks,” wife pointed behind me, completely confused. And sure enough, there he was just over my shoulder, with drinks, chips, and salsas in tow. On that tray. I reached in my wallet for some cash and laid it on the table.

“Manuel, we have to leave, sorry.” I stared into his eyes. He just looked surprised.

according to proper male restroom protocol, wordlessly stepped up to the one urinal next to mine and proceeded to do his business. There were no acknowledgements or eye contact. Even so, I couldn’t ignore what the man was openly dangling in purely peripheral sight. For some inexplicable reason which eludes me even now, Manuel’s service tray remained attached to him — tucked under an arm — as he relieved himself. Sure, I’d watched him spinning it with almost second-skin afterthought. Still, the notion of it there against the porcelain with him screamed inexcusable as my mind went right to the number of back-splash hits this thing would be taking before being toted back out into the dining room. Not only shit happens in life. The specter of pee spatter is ever present in a man’s world as well.

Thoughts swimming in such nastiness, I stood there even after I’d finished, waiting for Manuel’s next move. Trying to get a grip on what I’d just witnessed, I held onto the hope he’d realize his major misstep, own it, toss the tray in the trash, and plead with me to keep the whole disgusting situation our little secret. Had he done so, I would have let the whole thing go, I suppose.

“Are you sick? Did you have an accident?” My wife whispered those questions to me as we made our way to the door. Out at the car, after we buckled up two startled and disappointed, crying kids, I let her in on the details. We talked things over for about an hour or so afterward, until it came down to either washing our hands of the situation or saying something. In the end, we decided to phone the restaurant and speak with a manager about Manuel. It took us some months to return to the restaurant. Manuel was still working there once we did, but for whatever reason, we never wound up being waited on by him again. In hindsight, I think maybe I should have reached out to him and squashed any hard feelings over what happened. And a handshake offer on my part could have made for just the right gesture, all things considered.

Granted, there’s much to be said for minding one’s own business. On the other hand, that’s often used as a piss-poor excuse for merely looking the other way when maybe we shouldn’t.

The fact of the matter is: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, proper hand washing is the single most effective prevention method for fighting the spread of foodborne illness in both professional and residential kitchens. Hand sanitizers are no substitute, and immune-compromised populations (seniors, the sick, those recovering from health problems, medical procedures, or taking some medications, etc.) can be at a higher risk from ingested bacterial loads lighter than what many in full health can consume to little or no ill effect.

Manuel’s story might ring with a little humor now, but only from the safe distance of time and no serious consequences. Seriously, folks: nothing’s more necessary to responsible food handling than keeping one’s hands clean.

CULTURE

Arts spotlight

Norwest Gallery is heavy on the melanin in sixth anniversary show, but the gallery almost didn’t make it

By Randiah Camille Green

Walking into Norwest Gallery for the Heavy Melanin exhibit, a painting of blue and white blotches on black draws my eyes to the left.

Getting closer, I notice there are braids snaking through the piece like a maze underneath clumps of white paint and yellow speckles. There’s something mesmerizing about it, as the braids loop and curl, like the clouds passing time as your momma braids your hair on the porch in the summer and kids splash in fire hydrant water.

Heavy Melanin is Norwest Gallery of Art’s sixth-year anniversary exhibit. It went up in February and is on view until April 28. As we’d expect from the Blackowned gallery helmed by Asia Hamilton in Detroit’s Grandmont Rosedale neighborhood, Heavy Melanin revels in the diversity of the African and African American aesthetic through a range of mediums.

“Every February is our anniversary month and it’s always a celebration of

Black artists,” Hamilton tells me. “It’s also Black History Month, so we always do an exhibit that celebrates Black artists as a whole and Black people as a whole. That’s why there are so many different genres and expressions of the culture.”

As you venture further into the gallery, the art oscillates between the deep abstract and figurative depictions of Blackness including sculpture, photography, painting, collage, and even a woven tapestry. It includes work by a slew of Detroit-based artists, as well as some national and international artists as well.

“Aisha With the Hair,” a photo by Ghanaian photographer Nana Kwadwo Agyei Addo, sits in front of a hazy sunset backdrop, the brown of her skin so rich she seems to glow against the golden time of a day. Her braids loop behind her to mirror the shape of her face, eyeshadow as blue as the hues of sky behind her.

Elsewhere, Jaiel Nelson paints a young woman with butterflies flutter-

ing around her locs and another in a vulnerable moment with flowers and the winged insect attached to her bare body. Detroit abstract painter India Solomon exhibits two works with darker hues that feel different than her usual, vibrant work.

The gallery feels exuberant with a joy that makes you want to dance or just sit back and catch a vibe to the soundtrack curated by Detroit Sassi Blaque bumping in the background. But the gallery almost didn’t make it to this moment as Hamilton says she considered closing it several times as she struggled with funding and sales to keep it going.

“Last year, we were really struggling… I was ready to close this place,” she says. “I mean, I wasn’t ready to close but I was threatening to. It’s hard. I don’t just have extra money to be paying rent.”

The gallery charged a $20 admission fee for the opening reception of Heavy Melanin and Hamilton says she sold 100 tickets. She says generating income

through ticket sales and programming is important for the gallery to survive and encourages visitors to purchase the art, not just look at it.

“Sales are very important. Art galleries are here to sell art. It’s not a museum, there’s a difference,” she says. “The opening was only $20. You spend that just kicking around.”

Norwest Gallery also has a “Hype Market Gift Shop” that sells prints and things like handmade jewelry that are more affordable for everyday gallery goers who probably can’t drop $4,000 on an abstract painting. The gallery was also named as an awardee in the Gilbert Family Foundation’s Seed and Bloom program, which awarded 10 Detroit artist organizations $150,000 each, over three years.

Heavy Melanin is on display through April 28 at Norwest Gallery of Art; 19556 Grand River Ave., Detroit. Gallery hours are from noon-6 p.m. Friday and Saturday, Wednesday and Thursday by appointment, and noon-4 p.m. Sunday.

Norwest Gallery has a “Hype Market Gift Shop” that sells affordable art.

COURTESY PHOTO

CULTURE

Film Animal behavior

By Craig D. Lindsey

Kung Fu Panda 4

Rated: PG

Run-time: 94 minutes

Kung Fu Panda 4 reminds us that animated movie franchises should really end after the third one.

I’m still kinda mad that Pixar gave us one of the best movie trilogies of all time with the Toy Story saga, then served up a meh fourth installment in 2019. The same goes with the Shrek franchise, already running on fumes when DreamWorks dropped the Justin Timberlake-enhanced Shrek the Third, churning out the It’s a Wonderful Lifeish Shrek Forever After in 2010.

Forever director Mike Mitchell also directs the newest Panda adventure, which also feels like an unnecessary remake. I was definitely getting major Zootopia vibes with this installment, as beloved roly-poly Dragon Warrior Po (Jack Black) teams up with shady, crafty fox Zhen (Awkwafina) in order to stop The Chameleon (Viola Davis), a reptil-

ian sorceress who goes on a looting and plundering rampage by shape-shifting into other animals, including Po’s firstmovie foe Tai Lung. (Yes, Ian McShane is back!)

If you’re expecting the Furious Five to join Po on this, Po conveniently explains to villagers at the beginning that they’re on “super-cool, kung-fu missions.” Considering how little screen time the characters got in the last film, I guess DreamWorks had a hard time convincing Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, and the others to come back to basically voice cameos.

Dustin Hoffman does return as crotchety Master Shifu, who’s mostly there to press Po on finding a Dragon Warrior replacement so Po can assume his new title as “spiritual leader of the Valley of Peace.” (How much are you willing to bet that Zhen plays a crucial part in that?) Po’s neurotic, adoptive goose dad (James Hong) and biological panda dad (Bryan Cranston) from the last movie also return, teaming up to follow Po secretly. We

also get a possibly problematic influx of Asian voices playing nefarious characters, including Oscar-winning comeback kid Ke Huy Quan as Sunda, the pangolin leader of a den of thieves, and Daily Show correspondent Ronny Chieng as a smart-ass, ship-owning fish shooting one-liners from a pelican’s gullet.

Thanks to longtime Panda writers Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger and Forever writer Darren Lemke, there’s a lot more screwballery popping off in this Panda mission. This is especially true once Po and Zhen head to Juniper City, a bustling metropolis where, in one chase sequence, they run away from the po-po while the soundtrack plays a Chinese traditional music version of Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train.” There’s a sense of quasi-dark, Looney Tunes-style absurdity, as Po interacts with such characters as a deceptively adorable yet clearly sociopathic trio of bunnies. “Violence makes my tummy tingle,” one of them says in a movie that’s generally aimed at kids. (If you

do have little ones, make sure you let them know afterwards that violence isn’t a good thing, before they set their siblings on fire.)

While some may see the hijinks as enjoyable, computer-animated tomfoolery, this sequel doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It practically seems like an elongated episode of one of the several Panda spinoff shows that’s been floating around on streaming platforms for years. This one is definitely missing the introspective, revelatory storytelling director Jennifer Yuh Nelson brought to the second (my favorite) and third installments.

Listen, I’m all for shits-and-giggles escapist entertainment. After three Kung Fu Panda movies that gave us a decent mix of hilarity and pathos, however, this derivative, annoyingly predictable volume seems like a letdown. But hey, if you wanna keep your kids busy for an hour and a half by showing them a brand-new story of a rotund panda bear getting his Jet Li on, Kung Fu Panda 4 is waiting for you.

Kung Fu Panda 4 lacks the joys of the franchise’s earlier installments.

© 2024 DREAMWORKS ANIMATION LLC

CULTURE

Savage Love

Power Moves

By Dan Savage

: Q I have a history of dating men I’m not attracted to physically or emotionally. I always found it weirdly comforting to know my boyfriend was obsessed with me while I had minimal feelings for him. I have explored this in therapy and chalk it up to lack of self-confidence. But a month ago I started hanging out with this guy and it’s the first relationship I’ve been in that isn’t one sided. It’s also the first relationship I’ve been in where the guy wasn’t pushing me to “define the relationship” after a month. This has led to me feeling quite vulnerable and afraid. For the first time in a long time, I’m dating a guy that I not only like but find very attractive and now I’m terrified it will end. This fear has led me to keep my feelings to myself. In previous relationships where I was the one with the upper hand, I found it easier to speak up because I felt in control and didn’t really care if it ended. I am now in a place where I’m afraid to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. I want to know what his intentions are, but I don’t want to place undue pressure on him either. I’m craving more validation than I’m getting from him because I got used to being smothered with validation in all my previous relationships, but I don’t know how to bring this up without making it seem like I am trying to DTR. Any advice?

—Naked And Afraid

A: I wouldn’t chalk up the choices you’ve made in the past — only dating men you weren’t attracted to, only dating men you could take or leave, only dating men you held in what sounds like contempt — to a lack of self-confidence. Frankly, I’m a little mystified that your therapist endorsed that interpretation. You either had one of those therapists who thinks it’s their job to help clients construct self-serving rationalizations for their shitty behavior — explanations that center their client as victims — or you came up with that rationalization on your own and your therapist never got around to challenging you on it.

So, I’m going to challenge you.

I don’t think you have self-confidence issues, NAA, I think you have control issues. You only dated men you didn’t care about — you only dated men you weren’t attracted to physically or

emotionally — because you wanted to have “the upper hand.” You wanted all the power, all the leverage, and all the control. You not only dated only men you could take or leave, NAA, you seemed to go out of your way to find men who couldn’t leave you. That is not the weak-ass move of a person who lacks self-confidence, NAA, that’s a cold-hearted power play executed by a control freak. I’m glad you got into therapy and it seems to have done you some good — you’re currently dating someone you’re attracted to and for the first time experiencing feelings most humans experience when we meet someone we like — and if that shallow pseudo-epiphany you had in therapy (“I lack self-confidence!”) helped you make different and better choices, NAA, then it did you some good. But I think you have more to unpack, perhaps with a different therapist.

Zooming out for a second: Lots of us have been there. We were dating someone we could take or leave and realized that person was falling in love with us. When that happens — when someone we could take or leave is a lot more invested in the relationship and wants to have those DTR convos — we need to end things as quickly and considerately as possible. But if we only date people we could take or leave, one after another, then we’re leading people on and, even worse, we’re stealing from them. We’re stealing time and energy they could’ve invested in finding a person who cared about them and wanted to take them. A good person doesn’t do that sort of shit — not to people they care about, not to people they don’t care about, not to anyone.

Alright, NAA, what’s going to happen with this new guy? It’s only been a month, so you don’t know him that well, and most new relationships peter out after a month or two. So, there actually isn’t that much at stake here, at least not yet. Most of what you have is hope: you like this guy and you’re hoping you continue to like him as you get to know him better and you’re hoping he likes you too. But if it doesn’t go anywhere — if you have that DTR convo a month or two from now and you learn he’s not as into you as you are him — you may wind up with a broken heart. But getting your heart broken is proof you have one.

Whatever happens, NAA, don’t return to your old, shitty, and heartless modus operandi. It wasn’t good for the men you dated, and it wasn’t good for you either. Being open to love means being open to pain. You’re open now.

Stay open. It’s better this way. You’re better this way.

: Q My boyfriend, who is a 72-year-old man, wants to gift our personal trainer, who is younger and hotter than me, an expensive piece of jewelry. I felt jealous and insecure when he brought this up and I voiced my concerns to her. She told me that she sees the gift as a token of friendship and nothing more and then added that, as her friend, I should want what’s best for her. My boyfriend is a multimillionaire many times over and maybe I don’t understand how rich people give gifts, as I’m not “from” money, but it seems strange. My boyfriend told me to think of it as a bequest — he’s making bequests in his will to fifty or so people after he dies — but the thought of him asking for her permission to give this gift to her without first asking me makes me uncomfortable. It makes me wonder how long he was fantasizing about giving her this gift and why exactly he wants to give it to her so badly. I need a second opinion here.

—Girlfriendly Instinct Flagging This

A: This man is not your husband, he’s your boyfriend; his millions are not your millions, they’re his millions. I can certainly see why thinking about this gift makes you uncomfortable, GIFT, but I don’t see an upside for you in trying to talk your boyfriend out of giving his personal trainer a gift he’s already promised her. The only leverage you have over him is the threat of a breakup, GIFT, but where will issuing that threat get you? Best-case scenario, your boyfriend rescinds the offer but resents you and your personal trainer, who you consider a friend, feels jerked around by both of you and distances herself; worst-case scenario, you wind up single and written out of the will — assuming you’re among the fortunate fifty or so — and your personal trainer gets that expensive piece of jewelry and possibly more.

If I may, GIFT, I’d like to address the elephant in the room/question/ gym: you’re worried your boyfriend is only making this gesture — he’s only giving this woman this extravagant gift — because he wants to fuck her. I can confidently assure you that your boyfriend absolutely, positively, without a doubt wants to fuck his personal trainer. Because no one in the long, sordid history of personal trainers has ever hired a personal trainer they didn’t wanna fuck. But just because someone wants to fuck their personal trainer doesn’t mean they would fuck their personal trainer. Your boyfriend can wanna fuck his personal

trainer and give her a gift that essentially says, “I would if I could,” and still wanna honor the monogamous commitment he’s (presumably) made to you. While legitimately concerning, these two things — your boyfriend signaling to someone else that he would fuck them if he could and your boyfriend remaining faithful to you — are not mutually exclusive.

While personal trainers sometimes ingratiate themselves to clients by engaging in a little harmless flirtation, very few personal trainers actually wanna fuck their clients — especially their elderly and/or monogamously partnered clients — and vastly fewer actually do fuck their clients. And based on what you shared about that gift-block convo you had with your personal trainer, GIFT, it doesn’t sound like she’s interested in your boyfriend sexually, gift or no gift. So, while your boyfriend may get a little thrill out of giving this woman a piece of jewelry, she almost certainly regards this gift — a gift that, again, was already promised to her — as a very generous tip from a very well-off client that she doesn’t wanna see naked.

: Q My GF and I are great in the sack together — and the floor, and the stairs, and the lawn, and the tent, and the fireside — and it feels like we’ve been doing this all our lives, since the moment we took our first breath, and by the time we finally drift off we’re tranced out in a post orgasmic love bubble of such cosmic-eternal elasticity it feels as though our connection has no beginning and no end. The other night in the shower she said I have a “Rolls Royce cock.” Can I put that on my anonymous Feeld profile with her permission? I mean, she’s right. It works a treat. But I feel a bit weird bragging about my own dick like this. Partly because for many years I had what we might kindly refer to as a rapid climax problem. Now that I’ve gotten a little older, those days are behind me, and everything is coming together. So, can I put “Rolls Royce Cock” in my Feeld profile? I got as far as typing it in but then I thought, ugh, seems a bit self-involved. What do you think?

—Rapturously Received Compliment

A: There are places a man shouldn’t brag about his cock — on Zoom calls, on international flights, on main — but a man can brag about his cock on his anonymous Feeld profile. Go for it.

Got problems? Yes, you do. Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns, and more at Savage.Love.

CULTURE Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

ARIES: March 21 – April 19

I will never advise you to dim the flame of your ambition or be shy about radiating your enthusiasm. For the next few weeks, though, I urge you to find ways to add sap, juice, and nectar to your fiery energy. See if you can be less like a furnace and more like a sauna; less like a rumbling volcano and more like a tropical river. Practically speaking, this might mean being blithely tender and unpredictably heartful as you emanate your dazzling glow.

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20

Some spiritual traditions tell us that the path to enlightenment and awakening is excruciatingly difficult. One teaching compares it to crossing a bridge that’s sharper than a sword, thinner than a hair, and hotter than fire. Ideas like these have no place in my personal philosophy. I believe enlightenment and awakening are available to anyone who conscientious-

ly practices kindness and compassion.

A seeker who consistently asks, “What is the most loving thing I can do?” will be rewarded with life-enhancing transformations. Now I invite you to do what I just did, Taurus. That is, re-evaluate a task or process that everyone (maybe even you) assumes is hard and complicated. Perform whatever tweaks are necessary to understand it as fun, natural, and engaging.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20

Do you have a relative your parents never told you about? If so, you may find out about them soon. Do you have a secret you want to keep secret? If so, take extra caution to ensure it stays hidden. Is there a person you have had a covert crush on for a while? If so, they may discover your true feelings any minute now. Have you ever wondered if any secrets are being concealed from you? If so, probe gently for their revelation, and they just may leak out. Is there a lost treasure you have almost given up on finding? If so, revive your hopes.

CANCER: June 21 – July 22

valuable to us as well as you. Here’s a helpful tip: Give yourself permission to be even more daring and curious. Dig even deeper.

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22

Unexpected mixtures are desirable, though they may initially feel odd. Unplanned and unheralded alliances will be lucky wildcards if you are willing to set aside your expectations. Best of all, I believe you will be extra adept at creating new forms of synergy and symbiosis, even as you enhance existing forms. Please capitalize on these marvelous openings, dear Virgo. Are there parts of your life that have been divided, and you would like to harmonize them? Now is a good time to try. Bridge-building will be your specialty for the foreseeable future.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

gest these are difficult luxuries for you Centaurs to accomplish. But I think differently. In my view, it’s your birthright to create sanctuaries for yourself that incorporate so much variety and expansiveness that you can feel like an adventurous explorer without necessarily having to wander all over the earth. Now is an excellent time to work on this noble project.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all, and to all a good Pint!! Have a ball and remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Also, be circumspect how you order certain drinks, in a truly Irish Pub. You know what I’m talking about.

Cancerian poet Pablo Neruda wrote this to a lover: “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” That sounds very romantic. What does it mean? Well, the arrival of spring brings warmer soil and air, longer hours of sunlight, and nurturing precipitation. The flowers of some cherry trees respond by blooming with explosive vigor. Some trees sprout upwards of 4,000 blossoms. Maybe Neruda was exaggerating for poetic effect, but if he truly wanted to rouse his lover to be like a burgeoning cherry tree, he’d have to deal with an overwhelming outpouring of lush beauty and rampant fertility. Could he have handled it? If I’m reading the upcoming astrological omens correctly, you Cancerians now have the power to inspire and welcome such lavishness. And yes, you can definitely handle it.

LEO: July 23 – August 22

Speaking on behalf of all nonLeos, I want to express our gratitude for the experiments you have been conducting. Your willingness to dig further than ever before into the mysterious depths is exciting. Please don’t be glum just because the results are still inconclusive and you feel a bit vulnerable. I’m confident you will ultimately generate fascinating outcomes that are

Many of you Libras have a special talent for tuning into the needs and moods of other people. This potentially gives you the power to massage situations to serve the good of all. Are you using that power to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s a related issue: Your talent for tuning into the needs and moods of others can give you the capacity to massage situations in service to your personal aims. Are you using that capacity to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s one more variation on the theme: How adept are you at coordinating your service to the general good and your service to your personal aims? Can you do anything to enhance this skill? Now is an excellent time to try.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21:

Psychologist Carl Jung said, “One of the most difficult tasks people can perform is the invention of good games. And this cannot be done by people out of touch with their instinctive selves.” According to my astrological assessment, you will thrive in the coming weeks when you are playing good, interesting games. If you dream them up and instigate them yourself, so much the better. And what exactly do I mean by “games?” I’m referring to any organized form of play that rouses fun, entertainment, and education. Playing should be one of your prime modes, Scorpio! As Jung notes, that will happen best if you are in close touch with your instinctual self — also known as your animal intelligence.

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Can Sagittarians ever really find a home they are utterly satisfied with? Are they ever at peace with exactly who they are and content to be exactly where they are? Some astrologers sug-

You picked Door No. 2 a while back. Was that the best choice? I’m not sure. Evidence is still ambiguous. As we await more conclusive information, I want you to know that Door No. 1 and Door No. 3 will soon be available for your consideration again. The fun fact is that you can try either of those doors without abandoning your activities in the area where Door No. 2 has led you. But it’s important to note that you can’t try both Door No. 1 and Door No. 3. You must choose one or the other. Proceed with care and nuance, Capricorn, but not with excessive caution. Your passwords are “daring sensitivity” and “discerning audacity.”

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

My second cousin has the same name as me and lives in Kosice, Slovakia. He’s a Slovakian-speaking chemical engineer who attended the Slovak University of Technology. Do we have anything in common besides our DNA and names? Well, we both love to tell stories. He and I are both big fans of the band Rising Appalachia. We have the same mischievous brand of humor. He has designed equipment and processes to manufacture products that use chemicals in creative ways, and I design oracles to arouse inspirations that change people’s brain chemistry. Now I invite you, Aquarius, to celebrate allies with whom you share key qualities despite being quite different. It’s a fine time to get maximum enjoyment and value from your connections with such people.

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20

My Piscean friend Jeff Greenwald wrote the humorous but serious book Shopping for Buddhas. It’s the story of his adventures in Nepal as he traveled in quest of a statue to serve as a potent symbol for his spiritual yearning. I’m reminded of his search as I ruminate on your near future. I suspect you would benefit from an intense search for divine inspiration — either in the form of an iconic object, a pilgrimage to a holy sanctuary, or an inner journey to the source of your truth and love.

Homework: See a compendium of my Big-Picture Forecasts for you in 2024: tinyurl.com/BigPicture2024

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