ParentLife Magazine

ParentLife PARTNERING WITH PARENTS TO RAISE GODLY KIDS

WHAT ARE YOUR CHILD’S

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THE BIBLE

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TEACH YOUR

CHILD TO

PRAY 9 WAYS

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EASTER

God’s Plan for You God rules.

Did you know that God created the world? The Bible tells us He created everything. God is a perfect, loving ruler. God created us to bring glory to Him. (Genesis 1:1; Revelation 4:11; Colossions 1:16-17)

We sinned.

Adam and Eve chose to disobey God. Since then, we all have chosen to disobey God. The Bible calls this sin. Sin separates us from God. Thankfully God had a plan to save us from our sin. (See Romans 3:23.)

God provided.

Our loving God provided the only way to save us — Jesus. God sent Jesus to earth. He lived a perfect life.

Because He loves us, He took the punishment we deserve. (See John 3:16; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 6:23.)

Jesus gives.

Jesus died on the cross in our place. Our sins were punished through Jesus dying on the cross. It’s all been paid for! In God’s eyes, it’s as if we never sinned. God welcomes us into His family as children of God. When Jesus died, He did not stay dead. God brought Him back to life. People even saw and touched the risen Jesus. Jesus went to be with God and to rule over the world forever as King, even today.

One day Jesus will return to earth. God will welcome into His kingdom all people who have accepted His free gift of eternal life. (See Romans 5:8; 2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:18; Ephesians 2:8-9.)

This is the gospel. Gospel means “GOOD NEWS!” Because of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, we can be part of God’s family forever. That’s good news!

We respond.

We can respond to the good news by understanding who God is (holy) and who we are (sinners). Tell God you know you messed up and are sorry. Repent, turning away from your sin. Turn to Jesus, trusting only Him to save you through His life, death, and resurrection. (See John 14:6; Romans 10:9-10,13.)

If you are ready to respond to the good news by becoming a Christian, simply pray and tell God something like this: Dear God, I know I have disobeyed you and gone my own way. My sin separates me from you. I am sorry that I have disobeyed you and earned your punishment, but today I turn back to you. I believe that Jesus died on the cross in my place so that my sins can be forgiven. I believe Jesus rose from the dead and is alive. I trust Jesus to save me. Thank You for sending Jesus to live a perfect life and to take away my punishment. God, please forgive me and help me to obey You and to live for You the rest of my life.

Thank You. Amen.

What now?

• Tell others that you are a Christian.

• Talk with a trusted adult about how being baptized shows others that you are a Christian.

• Read the Bible to learn more about what it means to live for God. • Talk to God every day.

• Find a church to attend where other Christians can encourage you in your faith.

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ParentingMatters ParentLife

ParentLife equips parents to build strong, godly families by focusing on the needs of the whole child from prenatal to preteen.

Volume 19, Number 9, March 2013 ERIC GEIGER Vice President, Church Resources WILLIAM SUMMEY Publishing Team Leader NANCY CORNWELL Content Editor JENNIFER BRADY Production Editor CLAIRE APPLE Graphic Designer LANDRY HOLMES Manager, Kids Ministry Publishing LANCE HOWERTON Director, Kids Ministry Send questions/comments to: William Summey, Publishing Team Leader One LifeWay Plaza, MSN 172 Nashville, TN 37234-0172; or make comments on the Web at www.lifeway.com.

ADVERTISING One LifeWay Plaza, MSN 136, Nashville, TN 37234 Fax: (615) 251-2039 Email: magazineadvertising@lifeway.com Media Kits: www.lifeway.com/magazines/media Rhonda Edge Buescher, Director, Magazine Advertising & Circulation Advertising Production, Scott Hancock

A FRESH LOOK

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id you notice ParentLife’s new look when you picked up your issue this month? The cover changes are just the beginning. While we haven’t changed any content, we have organized the magazine into three sections so that it will be easier for you to find what you’re looking for.

The first section of the magazine is titled “Inspire.” In this section you’ll find wisdom from experts and advice from other parents. In the second section, “Create,” you’ll find crafts, recipes, and activities to do as a family. And in the third section, “Grow,” you’ll find information on your child’s development — physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.

Don’t miss our new “Family Devotional” column on page 22.

We hope this will allow your family to connect in a real way at least once a month. You’ll also notice that some of our other columns aren’t in their normal spots. You can find them on these pages: “Mom’s Life” (p. 17), “Trends & Truths” (p. 20), “Dad’s Life” (p. 21), and “Real Life Solutions” (p. 38). The biggest change you’ll notice as you flip through is that we’ve relocated our “Growth Spurts” section from the front to the very back.

So let us know how you like our fresh new look. We’re excited to share it with you and can’t wait to hear your feedback! Email us at parentlife@lifeway.com, or find us on Facebook (www.facebook. com/parentlife).

Parenting by grace,

Printed in the United States of America

ParentLife (ISSN 1074-326X; Item 005075230) is published monthly by LifeWay Press®, One LifeWay Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234, Thom S. Rainer, President. © 2012 LifeWay Press®.

For inquiries, visit www.lifeway.com, or write LifeWay Church Resources Customer Service, One LifeWay Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234-0113. For subscriptions or subscription address changes, visit www.lifeway.com/magazines, fax (615) 251-5818, or write to the above address. For bulk orders shipped to one address, visit www.lifeway.com/magazines, fax (615) 251-5933, or write to the above address.

ParentLife Team Leader

PHOTO: MELANIE MCGAUGHEY

Annual individual or gift subscription, $29.95. Bulk orders shipped to one address when ordered with other literature, $1.60 each per month, plus shipping. Please allow six to eight weeks for arrival of first issue.

ADVERTISEMENT DISCLAIMER: This magazine includes paid advertisements for some products and services not affiliated with LifeWay. The inclusion of the paid advertisements does not constitute an endorsement by LifeWay Christian Resources of the products or services.

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009

by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

Cover photo is by Getty Images.

Trusting Him,

Content Editor

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Contents

MARCH 2013

features INSPIRE 8 Bedtime Prayers Melissa Spoelstra Teach your child to pray.

12 Behind the Bricks Jeff Smoak Be prepared when you adopt.

17 Single Parent Q&A David and Lisa Frisbie Helpful advice for single parents.

18 Why Moms Need to Know the Bible Jamie Ivey Be a spiritual support for your family.

C R E AT E 24 Everyday Easter Kristen Welch 9 ways to celebrate Easter.

28 Comfort in the Kitchen Jessica L. Weaver Carry on traditions and build memories.

GROW 32 One in a Million Mary E. DeMuth Ask these three questions to discover your child’s gifts.

36 Financial Mile Markers Jean M. McClean Plan for your child’s future needs.

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32 What Are Your Child’s Unique Gifts?

18 Why Moms Need to Know the Bible

8 Bedtime Prayers 24 9 Ways to Celebrate Easter

IN EVERY ISSUE 3 Parenting Matters A Fresh Look 6 Parent Talk Reader Feedback 16 Mom’s Life The Truth About Nightmares 20 Trends & Truths Facebook 21 Dad’s Life Spilled Milk 22 Family Devotional Who Is God? 38 Real Life Solutions Questions About Life 40 Growth Spurts 10 Pages of Age-Appropriate Advice 50 Funny Life Funny Family Stories

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BEDTIME PRAYER Help Your Children Connect With Jesus

by Melissa Spoelstra 8

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he typical bedtime prayer was them started with a reminder. I turned repeated often when I tucked my to one of them, “What about hitting your children into bed at night. Each sister today?” Then on to the next child, night, I would ask them if they had any“Remember how you threw that fit and got thing else they wanted to talk to God in trouble this morning?” Once reminded, about. If I made suggestions, they were they were all very willing to confess their very open to adding them, but rarely would sins to God and even excited that they had they initiate deeper conversation with their something for this part of prayer. They just Maker. needed some training and direction.

I contemplated that perhaps they THANKSGIVING. This step comes most needed training when it came to prayer. I naturally when children pray. My children certainly spend a lot of time teaching them are always grateful for a “wonderful day.” how to put their clothes away, put the But now we encourage them to be more toothpaste cap back on, and say please and specific. What are we thankful for? Yes, thank you. Scripture supports this idea of we had trips to the park, friends over, and learning to pray. The disciples said in Luke new toys to thank God for. However, we 11:1b, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John also talk about some basic things that we also taught his disciples.” often take for granted: freedom Jesus then proceeded to teach to worship, our own copy of them the Lord’s prayer. This They don’t God’s Word, clean water, food, model prayer includes several eyes to see, legs to run. They elements. As a teen, I learned always don’t always remember these the acrostic A-C-T-S which is blessings in day-to-day life when taken from the basics found remember surrounded by ads and comwithin the Lord’s prayer. Adoramercials tempting them to want tion, Confession, Thanksgiving, these blessings more. However, at night when and Supplication. But these are their hearts are soft, they often big words for my 5-year-old, in day-to-day recognize God’s provision when twin 8-year-olds, and 11-yeara loving parent reminds them of old, so I asked God to help me life. all He has done. teach them to pray in a way that SUPPLICATION. I explained would go deeper than their surface prayers that this was basically just asking God for for a good day. We broke down the simple things. We can ask for things we need or acrostic I had learned before in this way. want, but we also want to pray for others.

ADORATION. To avoid praising God each A friend of mine shared a great system day in a way that would get rote or mechanthat she uses to help her kids remember ical, we spent one night brainstorming what they are praying for each day. We things about God that were good, powerful, made another poster for the wall that loving, awesome, holy. They had fun coming looked like this. up with words about God. Then I asked Monday — Missionaries. Here we wrote them some of the names for God found in the name of two specific families we know the Bible. With a little coaxing they thought and support. We pray for their children and of Rock, Shepherd, Jesus, and King of Kings. try to remember to share any details about Soon we had filled the page with different their families we get in regular prayer ideas. I bought a cute picture frame and updates in their emails or letters. hung the list up where they could see it. At Tuesday — Teachers. Each child prays bedtime they each picked one of the names for their own school teacher. We also on the list to begin their prayer. include their piano teacher, Sunday School CONFESSION. Surprisingly, on our first teacher, and coaches. If they don’t know night, none of them could recall one bad what to pray, we asked God to give their thing they had done that day. I was floored. teachers wisdom and endurance.

I had a long list for each of them fresh on Wednesday — Widows and orphans. my mind, but I held back and simply got We pray for specific ones we know

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— Great-Grandma, a woman at church, and for little Alex and Robelina who we support through an organization that provides opportunities to sponsor needy children.

Thursday — Those who don’t know Jesus personally. Each child knows plenty of people who are friends, neighbors, or extended family members that they hope they will get to see in heaven one day. It made the celebration that much sweeter when we saw a family we had been praying for come to know Christ.

Friday — Friends and Family. Our list includes cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and a few special friends. Praying for family helps my kids feel more connected with people that live far away and they may only get to see once a year.

Now that we’ve implemented our new approach to prayer, we’ve found our kids’ prayer lives growing stronger. It isn’t a perfect system. However, they’re learning that prayer is talking with God about anything and everything. They’re remembering who He is, where they fall short, what they’re thankful for, and asking for God’s help for others. Even without looking at the lists on the wall, we’ve moved past talking generically about a “wonderful day” to deeper connection with Christ. We’re still working on that toothpaste cap though.

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RESOURCES:

1. Teaching Your Child to Pray by Rick Osborne 2. Lord, Teach Me to Pray for Kids (Discover 4 Yourself® Inductive Bible Studies for Kids) by Kay Arthur and Janna Arndt 3. Teach Your Children to Pray by Denise George 4. Faith Begins at Home: The Family Makeover with Christ at the Center

by Mark Holmen

Melissa Spoelstra lives in Dublin, Ohio, where she serves alongside her husband, Sean. Together with many great families and friends, God led them in planting Encounter Church in 2009. Melissa graduated from Moody Bible Institute in 1995 with a degree in Bible Theology and enjoys teaching and writing.

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FamilyDevotional

Who Is God? WHEN YOU THINK about God, what do you think about? Do you think about how big He is? Who made Him? What is His purpose?

The Bible helps us know who God is, what He has done, and what He will do in the future. Here are some things to think about.

• God is the one and only true God. Some people believe in more than one god, but there is only one true God. He is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit (the Trinity).

• God has always existed. No one created God. He will live forever.

• God wants you to know who He is. The Bible says to seek God. When you seek something, you look for it.

God is everywhere. God sees, hears, and knows everything you do. He is always with you. In fact, God said He will never leave you or turn away from you.

• God wants to have a relationship with you. He created you unique. You are the only “you” in the world.

No one else is exactly like you. God sent His Son, Jesus, to provide forgiveness of sin so you can have a relationship with Him. God wants to forgive you of your sins. He wants you to pray and spend time talking and listening to Him.

• God can do anything and everything. No one or no thing can limit God’s powers. He has more power than the weather. He controls the sun, moon, and stars. He controls everything that happens. God can do EVERYTHING! • God told the people who wrote the Bible what to write. As you read the Bible you will learn more about God. Every verse in the Bible helps you know about God.

Discuss

God has special names. Read the names of God listed on this page.

• What do these names tell you about God? • How does it make you feel to know the God who created the universe wants to have a relationship with you?

PARENTS • How do you feel knowing God Use this page to knows all about you? lead your children • Is there anything you wish God through a devotion once a month. did not know about you?

For more, look for • Is there anything you need to ask I’m A Christian Now God to forgive you for thinking, What? at www. saying, or doing? lifeway.com.

NAMES OF GOD Adonai El Elyon

El Shaddai

Elohim El Olam

Jehovah Jireh Jehovah Rophe Jehovah Nissi Jehovah Rohi Johovah Sabaoth Jehovah Shalom Jehovah Shammah Jehovah Tsidkenu Jehovah Yahweh

The Lordship of God The Most High God God Almighty Powerful God The Everlasting God The Lord Will Provide The Lord Our Healer The Lord Our Banner The Lord My Shepherd The Lord of Hosts The Lord Is Peace The Lord Who Is Present The Lord Our Righteousness The Holy God

Malachi 1:6 Genesis 14:17-20 Psalm 91:1 Genesis 1:1; Psalm 19:1 Isaiah 40:28-31 Genesis 22:13-14 Exodus 15:26 Exodus 17:15 Psalm 23:1 Isaiah 6:1-3 Judges 6:24 Ezekial 48:35 Jeremiah 23:6 Leviticus 19:2

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EVERYDAY

EASTER

By Kristen Welch

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9 Tangible (and Fun) Ways to Celebrate Easter Every Day with Your Children

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he’s filled with questions and there’s fear in her big brown eyes.

“Why a whip?” she asks. She’s still learning the story.

Every year, it’s new, with only remnants of the resurrection remaining in her 5-year-old mind, still grasping the concept of space, time, and death.

There is sadness in the Easter story. The crown, the pain. There is death. But the whole story must be told to receive the beauty of Easter fully. We walk through the valley to receive the triumph.

“But why did they kill Him?” It’s the hard, necessary question.

He had to die. He died for us. It’s the part of the story when I’m reminded my sins held Him on the cross.

But this isn’t just a story about death. It’s more importantly, a story about life. As her brother and sister fill in the missing pieces of the story, she remembers the tomb. I point to our Easter Garden and ask, “What did we put in the tomb?”

She thinks. “Nothing. Nothing is in the tomb, Mommy. Not even Jesus.”

Victory.

She smiles. Jesus is alive!

And we tell the story over and over. It’s the very core of who we are. It’s the most important story ever told. It’s the truth we cling to in the darkest of nights. It’s the story we encourage one another with. Death didn’t win. He is alive!

Robert Flatt said,“The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances.” This story doesn’t belong on a shelf. The resurrection is the very reason we have hope. It gives our life meaning today and our tomorrow a future.

And that’s why we must celebrate Easter every day.

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4. Celebrate new life year round.

Take a nature walk in the spring.

Search for cocoons, nests, baby animals, etc. Plant new flowers in the summer; hide bulbs in the earth in the fall. Put out birdseed in the winter, speaking the beauty of Daniel 3:52-90 all year long.

5. Plant an Easter Garden.

1. Bake Resurrection Rolls.

Ingredients: 1 package crescent rolls • melted butter • large marshmallows • cinnamon sugar Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Dip the marshmallow in the butter and cinnamon sugar.

Wrap the coated marshmallow tightly in the crescent roll with all sides closed around it (so marshmallow doesn’t leak out). Bake for 10 to 12 minutes with the oven signifying the tomb.When the rolls have cooled, children will discover the marshmallows are gone and the tomb is empty!

2. Keep the cross at the center.

While the cross was a crude death sentence, it’s also a beautiful reminder of what Jesus has done for us.

Yes, it’s about death, but more it’s about life. Hang a cross in your home and talk often of it’s meaning or create a cross piece of art with watercolors, crayons, or tissue paper.

3. Plant a lily bulb.

Read The Parable of the Lily by Liz Curtis Higgs.

Gather soil, pebbles, and grass seed and create a miniature garden in a terra cotta dish. Collect a few sticks and fashion a cross to place on the “hill” of soil.

As you water the seed, focus on grace. Be quick to forgive and extend grace as it has been given to you.

And never forget that His death means life.

6. Sprinkle reminders of His story (history) in your life.

Talk about the Last Supper as you’re eating dinner with your family. Mention the crown of thorns as you weed your garden. Hang a purple sash over a cross in your home and talk about our King.

7. Share your Easter meal.

Take dinner to someone who might spend the day alone or take a basket to a child in a hospital.

8. Continue to tell the story.

When the Easter hype fades and our society focuses on commercializing another day, make the resurrection story part of your everyday life. Read the Easter story in the Gospels.

9. Make it meaningful.

If you traditionally fill an Easter basket or give a gift, include a new Bible or a cross necklace.

Kristen Welch lives in Texas with her husband and their three kids. Follow along with Kristen at her blog www.wearethatfamily.com.

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GrowthSpurts LIFE LESSONS

Dad, here are four key questions to ask yourself as you consider the lessons you want to impart into your child: • What will I teach my child about life?

• What will I teach my child about marriage?

• What will I teach my child about fatherhood?

• What will I teach my child about God?

CHOOSING

A HEALTHY CEREAL The breakfast cereal aisle stocks colorful, kid-friendly boxes, but under the pretty packaging is mostly processed carbs — a nutritional zero. Since your toddler eats a small volume of food, giving her nutrientdense foods is important.

Choose cereals with ...

• whole grain wheat or whole grain oats listed as the first ingredient.

• less than 5 grams of sugar per serving.

• no high-fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners.

If your child already eats sugary cereals, try mixing half and half with healthy cereal, then gradually phase out the sweet kind.

EAT RIGHT

AT AGE 2, YOUR CHILD SHOULD BE EATING THREE HEALTHY MEALS EVERY DAY AT REGULAR TIMES ALONG WITH ONE OR TWO SNACKS.

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1to2 Years LOVING CORRECTION

Help your toddler solidify the love of Jesus for a lifetime by making times of correction consistent, reflective, and loving. When it’s time to correct, turn your voice volume down as you explain why your family doesn’t allow disobedient behaviors. Make clear what the consequences are and follow through.

After discipline, show affection. Assure your child that making mistakes is allowed. Teach him that getting a second chance is a great gift, but using selfcontrol is an even greater gift we can give ourselves.

Resolving times of correction with a few moments of restoration will help your child have real experiences of God’s love. He will also understand the personal benefits of obedience and will know he doesn’t have to fear failure. These memories will help him move forward in his relationship with you and the Lord as he matures.

Wrapeaze No more wrestling with jacket sleeves! Wrapeaze ponchos use a simple Velcro closure that parents can put on their child quickly and easily. Size extra small fits ages 0 to 24 months. Available in rain ($24.99) or fleece ($37.99) styles. Go to www.wrapeaze.com.

An Invisible Threat: Thirdhand Smoke Secondhand smoke is harmful to your child. Now studies are confirming that thirdhand smoke is just as harmful. Thirdhand smoke refers to the lingering effects of cigarettes — the particles that remain on furniture, clothing, floors, countertops, toys, and other surfaces. Children who put objects in their mouths or who even touch these objects are at risk of coming into contact with these toxins.

• Limit your child’s exposure to cigarette toxins.

• Quit smoking.

• Hire only non-smoking child care providers.

• Ask visitors who smoke to place their belongings out of your child’s reach.

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Funny Life The Voice of God On the way home from church, I was discussing with my 4-year-old son, Nathaniel, what he learned in Sunday School. He said they discussed Moses and the burning bush, and that God was talking to Moses through the bush. I asked him, “What did God say to Moses?” After a moment, where I could tell he was thinking really hard, he answered me in the deepest little voice he could muster … “MOSES!” Misty Spinks — Blossom, Texas

Heavy House As we rushed out of our house for our Saturday errands, my 3-year-old daughter sat amid the clutter of toys, mail, and dirty dishes.

“C’mon, we have to go,” I called to her from the door, “I need to get back so I can pick up the house.” Vivian looked around and seemed unsure. “But Mom,” she explained, “You can’t do that. The house is too heavy.”

Nancy Mendez — Houston, Texas

Bible Trivia My husband, Glenn, and I were playing a Bible trivia game with our 5-yearold daughter, Megan. One of the questions that we asked Megan was to name the three people who were thrown into the fiery furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar.

She responded, “I know the answer! It was Shadrach, Meshach, and A Billy Goat!”

Tracy Fowler — Rupert, Ga.

CAN YOU TOP THESE STORIES?

Send us a funny and true story involving your child.

Submit your story at www.lifeway.com/parentlifeblog or e-mail your story to parentlife@lifeway.com. If we publish your story, you will receive $20. Please include your name, address, e-mail address, and daytime phone number.

Submissions should be 25 to 150 words and will not be returned. Stories may be edited for clarity and length.

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