“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
– Norman Vincent Peale
Kids Financially Savvy is filled with insights on saving, earning, and investing for parents and kids –breaking down financial concepts into easily digestible information, and encouraging youngsters to explore the value of money management throughout our current and previous issues
KatrinaBall
Editor-in-Chief
How I’m raising my kids - 00:16
Alternatives to because I said so - 6:25
The best leaders are the best at oneon-one - 00:49
One on one parenting1:03
Balancing between competition and play - 1:49
Create a currency system - 11:40
The barometer of parenting13:35 Next Steps17:34
Create clear expectations12:06
Ask your kids for their opinions - 12:36
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By Dr Helene Dionne
Every year, school counselors hear from parents at their wit’s end as their child blatantly refuses to go to school Other parents report their child is so sick in the morning, with stomach pain, headache, nausea, and/or panic attacks, that they cannot imagine insisting the student gets on the bus or in the car. Many of these kids create a great deal of turmoil in the home and angst for their parents as they melt down, cry, have angry outbursts, and generally beg not to be forced to attend school
What is going on? Very often, these behaviors are manifestations of anxiety A rise in anxiety among students has been noticed for many years Professionals in schools are now reporting a further increase in anxiety following the year of remote and hybrid learning due to COVID-19. So, how can a parent support a child in this situation? Here are some ideas that usually apply to students of all ages
Take a deep breath and try to understand what may be happening
Explore the reasons behind your student's distress Understanding what triggers the behaviors and where the feelings come from will give you a start
Problem-solving with your child provides an opportunity for growth and presents the model of an adult who values reaching out for help when it is indicated The following are some examples:
Whenever possible, engage school personnel to help your student feel more at ease. For instance, a school counselor can welcome a younger child at the door for a short period of time, making the transition to class smoother
Ask a counselor to help your child develop new cognitive and behavioral strategies when facing stressful situations Inquire about organizing group meetings to facilitate peer relationships
Become your child’s advocate and work with the school administration to ensure that bullying issues or exclusion by friends/cliques are addressed in a constructive manner
Your child may experience significant performance anxiety, and that fear may be well founded. Learning disabilities may interfere with a student’s capacity to learn and reach their potential You may decide to initiate a formal application for testing and access to an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) so that your child can receive appropriate school services to address those issues.
Inquire about support available for homework and the development of organizational skills if your child is easily overwhelmed with homework and unable to stay on top of the workload. Difficulties with organization, possibly due to executive function problems, may contribute to these struggles
What if these attempts remain unsuccessful?
Oftentimes, the reason for the child’s distress remains vague or persists despite numerous interventions Physical complaints continue, the scenes at home escalate, and the child’s school attendance worsens. Even though the cause remains amorphous, anxiety can be addressed and overcome School refusal is a form of avoidance, and avoidance is a coping strategy that provides immediate relief to anxious students. Unfortunately, this relief is short lived, and contributes to making the problem bigger Indeed, the more one avoids a task, the more difficult it becomes to accomplish that task
Dr Aureen Pinto Wagner (2005) illustrates the anxiety experienced by a child who faces a dreaded situation as having to climb a “ worry hill.” The student’s anxiety increases as the moment to be in school gets closer At some point, the anxiety becomes so overwhelming that the student refuses to go, which allows a sudden escape and a drop from that worry hill. The next day, the student discovers that the hill has only become taller or steeper If the student had been able to make it the previous day, even arriving late to school, the worry hill would typically be less tall the second or third morning. That process is called “habituation”: the more an individual practices, the easier the task becomes
School, with its social and academic challenges, has become especially difficult for some In order to be helpful, it is important for parents to maintain a stance that combines warm support with the clear expectation that the student has to attend school. Here are some concrete suggestions and recommendations:
Give a clear and consistent message that missing school is not allowed Of course, this is easier said than done It is painful to watch your child experience intense distress as you insist that they go to school. In cases where there are two parents or guardians, they may disagree on the strategies to accomplish that goal, and conflicts arise A therapist or a school counselor can offer suggestions for a plan that both of you can agree on and are able to follow.
Invite your child to collaborate in the development of a plan for the morning routine, including a departure time.
Help the child develop proactive calming strategies to face the morning stress
A school counselor or therapist may be helpful in that process, but a supportive and understanding parent can make a difference, too Together, you could learn breathing exercises similar to the ones athletes use prior to a competition or musicians before performances. Identify distraction techniques to be used on the way to school (music, conversations, video games ) You can provide a reminder of those strategies in times of crisis
Consider having the parent typically less involved in the morning routine take over for a period of time. Sometimes, novelty facilitates the adoption of new behaviors
Implement a range of negative and positive consequences Your child could choose something to earn with a number of successful school attendance days in a row The reward does not have to be a present; it can be a meaningful experience with someone, for instance, or a pass from having to do chores Over time, earning a reward needs to become increasingly more difficult On the opposite side, limit entertaining activities when your child stays home: no tv, computer games, chatting with friends online, or surfing the web during school hours. Could the child go to a parent’s workplace and do school work there? The more boring it is, the better
Is it an illness?
Be prepared for the student’s anxiety to express itself through physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach pain, nausea, shakiness, and sometimes full panic attacks. The pain experienced by the child is usually real, and should not be minimized. It also creates a dilemma, as you need to decide whether there is a legitimate reason to stay home The rule of thumb is typically that the child has to go to school if there is no fever. Remember, if not connected to an illness, the symptoms tend to disappear once the student is actually in class and gets going with the day This is because these symptoms are connected to the “anticipatory anxiety” (the fear of facing a dreaded situation) that gets stronger as the time to go to school approaches. It is often helpful to explain to the child that these symptoms will most likely and often disappear once they go to school
Be aware of a pattern often observed in children who struggle with school attendance. Sunday nights and Monday mornings tend to be more difficult, and the anxiety eases as the week goes on This is especially true following long weekends or vacations Awareness of that pattern can also help a child be less discouraged when anxiety raises its ugly head again and be prepared for it.
Avoid getting into arguments with your child as best you can You may have a couple of sentences that you repeat in response to challenges For instance, you could reiterate “I know this is really hard, but we need to follow the plan,” or “It is terrible that you are feeling so much pain, but you have no fever, so you have to go to school ” Or “Hopefully, the pain will go away as the day goes on, as it does sometimes ” Stay away from words such as “always,” “never,” or any incendiary expressions that lead to more conflicts. In many situations, silence or a simple “I know this is hard” may be your best option
In some cases, an evaluation by the pediatrician may be indicated and anti-anxiety medications considered, although such cases tend to be the exception As you begin to implement these strategies, be prepared for the mornings to become worse before they get better. Your child will likely be terrified not to be able to resort to avoidance and will push back as much as possible It is during those times that it is especially important for parents to stick to the plan and provide the structure the child needs. Know that other parents have faced similar struggles, they managed to make it through, and have been able to experience pride as they watched their kid overcome adversity In the process, they and their child learned coping skills worth mastering for the other obstacles that life will present.
Huebner, 2005 What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-Do Guides for Kids)
Recommended Website About Anxiety: http://www.lynnlyonsnh.com/
I moved to Bermuda in January to join the Bermuda School of Music as a cello faculty member and to found the Bermuda Chamber Music Festival When I was asked to write this piece, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to discuss the importance of live performance in children’s lives. But as I sat down to write, my attention was immediately pulled away by an Instagram notification It didn’t take long to check Then my mom called I hadn’t spoken to her in days, so I couldn’t miss that Right, now back to work But wait, there’s still that urgent email that needs a reply before the end of the day. Done. Finally, time to focus. But a cup of coffee will help me get in the zone first
Funny, isn’t it? I started drafting this article to explain the benefits of classical music concerts for children, and my own distractions highlighted exactly why they matter We live in a world of constant distractions notifications, emails, endless “content” and this affects children, too From an early age, they’re immersed in a fast-paced environment. Live classical music offers something different: moments of real connection that engage their minds, hearts, and imaginations without the pull of screens Concerts teach patience and presence, showing the value of focusing on something real and appreciating delayed gratification in a world of instant rewards
By Isaiah Pennington
Parents often wonder whether their children will enjoy or even appreciate classical concerts. At the heart of this concern is the perception of classical music as a refined experience reserved for the sophisticated We adults have put this music behind glass, like something in a museum meant to be seen but not touched or experienced. Kids, on the other hand, aren’t afraid to revel in the wonderful colors, complex emotions, and varied moods that music expresses in ways words cannot Read the biographies of famed composers, and you’ll quickly see they were colorful characters whose music was anything but contained or reserved.
Perhaps some of us learned to think of classical music as uncool or old-fashioned. During my year playing quartets on Holland America ships, I saw people of all ages stumble into our venue, often by accident after leaving the adjacent rock show Invariably, by the end of each cruise, our quartet had the largest audiences of any act on the ship, with guests exclaiming, “This rocks! I’ve been missing out.” Kids feel that wonder naturally it’s only as adults that we label it inaccessible or oldfashioned I invite you to come to a concert; you might just be surprised
Concerts engage children on a sensory level hearing, seeing, and even feeling the vibrations of the instruments It’s a fully immersive experience that sparks creativity and critical thinking. Unlike the passive consumption of content on a screen or through headphones, live performance demands active listening and attention. It encourages children to sit with their thoughts, reflect, and be present in the moment even when it’s uncomfortable. These are invaluable life skills that we, as adults, continue to struggle with: being present in our own lives and learning to appreciate the fleeting beauty of moments that cannot be recaptured
There are many forms of live classical music, but I want to make a case for chamber music Practically speaking, it involves more people than a soloist and fewer people than an orchestra—think string quartets or similar groups. More than size, chamber music is about communication It’s individuals with unique ideas coming together to create something greater than any single voice There’s no “lead singer” here musicians share the spotlight, constantly adapting and collaborating. This dynamic, musical conversation draws listeners in, making it a uniquely intimate experience. For kids, it’s a powerful way to see teamwork, creativity, and communication in action
Yehudi Menuhin, the famed violinist who championed music education in Bermuda, eloquently described chamber music as being “at once one of the most enjoyable and one of the most difficult forms of human relationships ” Chamber music communicates the same principles we try to instill in our children: while relationships with others can be challenging, finding harmony with those around is our greatest source of hope, inspiration, and joy
We invite you and your family to be part of the Bermuda Chamber Music Festival in its inaugural season, beginning in February 2025 Join us for four concerts featuring world-class musicians, offering a unique opportunity to experience the beauty and power of chamber music In addition to the performances, the festival’s renowned artists will mentor Bermuda’s young musicians and inspire the next generation through school concerts. This is a wonderful chance for your children to witness the magic of live music-making in an up-close setting Don’t miss this opportunity to support and engage with Bermuda’s vibrant music culture come, be inspired, and help us build a legacy for our community.
There’s a lot to think about in parenting these days...
We hear a lot about the importance of things like increasing self-awareness and meeting our children’s individual needs While I’m sifting through parenting articles, knee-deep in self-reflection, sometimes I neglect the basics You know, like, teaching my kids about money Whether we want to believe it or not, money plays an important role in our lives. We literally can’t survive without it. So, it’s time to drop any discomfort we may have around the topic and start to face the financial parenting music It’s been reported that only 22 percent of kids say they talk with their parents “frequently” about money. It’s no wonder credit card debt continues to skyrocket among youth – debt that will follow them far into the future By ignoring the topic of money, we are doing our children a disservice that will have far-reaching effects on their relationships and quality of life down the road. Here are some straightforward ways parents can take the ‘ money bull’ by the horns and help their children start on solid monetary ground
By Angela Pruess
Young children can benefit greatly from learning the ins and outs of keeping and saving money in a checking or savings account This one threw me a little at first when thinking of our own five- and seven-year-old daughters. But as I reflected on it further, it started to make perfect sense Our kids are ecstatic to have money (duh), which usually leads to the following situation: a sweaty-fisted child carrying around crumpled dollar bills and germ infested coins wherever they go, followed by frustration and whining regarding said dollar bills getting “stolen” or lost. I’m now realizing responsibility for this situation falls more in the category of ‘parent fail’ as opposed to ‘unorganized offspring ’ Offering children a safe place to keep their money while they learn the important skills of saving, personal responsibility, and social skills seems like a no-brainer. Here are some practical tips on opening up a bank account for your child
Our children see us spend money all the time (or more likely, use a small plastic card in exchange for goods) This doesn’t give them the same benefits of a hands on experience with money. Many experts advocate allowing your child to take ownership over a consistent expense, such as school lunches or clothing (for older children) This places them in a decision-making role, for better or for worse It’s better for them to make mistakes now as opposed to later, when the stakes will be much higher. It likely won’t take long before they realize not only the value of a dollar, but also an increased appreciation for what they already have
Yes you heard me correctly, and it’s actually pretty badass. money saving pig is like a piggy bank on steroids, helping parents break down different areas of finance into saving, spending, donating, and investing This instills the powerful habit of pausing and putting thought into where our money goes early on The money saving pig makes doing these things fun, which peaks a child’s interest and increases the likelihood of follow through and long-term success with financial goals.
Of course, kids would feel overwhelmed if we made them aware of every financial transaction in the family. But much can be learned from parent modeling of good financial planning Both parent and child can set their sights on longer term spending, creating an opportunity for collaboration on a savings plan to achieve a common goal. Children live in the present. But shifting a child’s immediate desires into achievable goals helps them develop a ‘big picture’ mindset The principles behind saving money also teach children delayed gratification, patience, and perseverance – positive habits that will translate to the long term in many different areas.
We know about the many positive effects of using screen time to engage in pro-social games and apps, so why not use some tech time to increase financial acumen? There are fabulous tools and websites aimed at helping kids navigate financial territories. An awesome new app called Kidibank ™ helps parents allocate allowance and supports kids in tracking their earnings with their own emoji character In addition, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau provides a great age-by-age online resource to assist parents in developing smart money skills. No matter your views on screen time, there’s no doubt kids respond to technology So why not use it as a tool for their benefit? “Money on its own is neither good nor bad It is a means to an end.” When we talk openly about money and demystify things like earning, income, saving, and investing, we give our kids the information and power to make wise financial decisions I think we can all agree that is an investment that will pay off in dividends
“Whether a girl wants to be an astronaut, ambassador, author, or attorney, she needs to know—not just think, but really know, deep down—that there’s nothing that can stand in her way. That’s the incredibly important message girls’ schools send to girls each and every day.”
International Coalition for Girls Schools (ICGS)
As the island’s only all-girls school, we look beyond the classroom, ensuring that our students learn and develop a self-confidence that will benefit them throughout their educational journey and beyond We stand firm by our mission to produce students who are empowered to develop their individual potential and step into the world boldly, responsibly and joyfully.
Courageous thinking and confidence building begin during the first year of school. At BHS, our students are encouraged to share their confidence and courage with their peers through curiosity and celebration. They aren’t afraid to ask questions; instead, they are encouraged to be risk-takers inside the classroom and out, embracing the perseverance that they learn along the way. In the same manner that they persevere, BHS students are quick to celebrate each other's achievements, always championing one another through their milestones. This championing is an introduction to the importance of networking, and is a trait that our students carry with them from Primary to Secondary school and into the workforce.
In conjunction with championing achievement, we teach our students to stay true to their strengths and interests, standing out and embracing their individuality. We do not believe in pushing our students down a particular path; instead, we offer a broad-based curriculum that provides something for everyone. This personalised approach to learning allows girls to thrive as individuals, pursuing their interests, whether that be athletics, drama, robotics, science, etc.
Alongside our abundant campus resources, including the Innovation Centre, which is complete with a boardroom and was constructed around our STEAM curriculum, a diverse network of academic resource teachers makes this possible. We strive to ensure that our girls have the support that they need so that they can learn in the best way possible, embracing and respecting each others differences and recognising them as strengths.
Girls who study at BHS grasp the value of leadership skills. During their time on campus, they learn how to hold themselves accountable, be outspoken, and be bold in their beliefs and convictions. BHS offers girls an opportunity to lead in every way, serving as head students, leading assemblies, running enrichment courses, and providing exposure to internship opportunities locally and internationally. This includes opportunities throughout their learning, such as the Enterprise Week Pitch Competition, various Work Experience programmes, She Leads, and the She Speaks Speaker Series, where we invite successful women from our community to come in and speak with our Upper Primary and Secondary students about their careers. All of these programmes expose our students to a multitude of professions, helping them to determine which paths they might be interested in pursuing and what they need to do along the way. It also allows them to start a professional network to carry them outside the boundaries of our campus.
Beyond their academic learning, we take great pride in teaching our students to become global citizens. A study by ICGS found that “Young women at girls’ schools are inspired to become informed, engaged global citizens who lead with courage, competence, and empathy. Research has proven girls’ school graduates display stronger community involvement, greater cultural competency, and increased political engagement.” In addition, as Bermuda’s only Round Square School, we introduce this framework at age 4 with the Round Square Discovery Heroes. The twelve Discovery Heroes fall within the Round Square IDEALS (Internationalism, Democracy, Environmentalism, Adventure, Leadership and Service) and serve as an introduction to the terminology that carries with them into Secondary. From Year 7 onwards, our students have the opportunity to put their learning into practice, with multiple exchanges, service and conference trips available around the world.
This approach has proven to be successful, with many of our alumnae defying the norms and pursuing careers in engineering, law, actuarial science, and pilotry (airline and armed forces). We believe in focusing on the process rather than the product. It is our duty to ensure that while our students are learning in the classroom, they are also learning skills that will stay with them throughout their lifetimes.
“Our
girls can seize any role at every opportunity. Nothing stands in their way, and these opportunities are entirely within their reach”
Tracy Renaud, Head of Primary
Learn more about our programmes at BHS.bm or book a tour to view our campus by emailing admissions@bhs.bm
