Options following a pregnancy loss
Option 1. Communal cremation
The hospital can arrange for a cremation which is shared with other babies and at all times your baby is handled with dignity and respect. This funeral service is officiated by a Christian hospital chaplain, attended by the healthboard Clinical Bereavement Lead and supported by a contracted funeral director.
In these cases, once you have consented to the cremation, it is authorised by the hospital at no cost to you. Some people find comfort in knowing their baby is not alone.
Once your baby is ready for cremation you will be contacted by the health board’s bereavement co-ordinator. You do not need to call anyone yourself, we will keep you informed. The bereavement co-ordinator will advise you on the date that the service will be. This will give you the opportunity to attend the service if you wish. The cremation service will usually take place the same week that you are contacted, however the date will be given to you during the phone call. We cannot give you details in advance as we inform you as soon as the details for that service are released to the crematorium.
If you are not able to attend the service for any reason, it will go ahead in your absence on the date stated. As it is a communal cremation, it is not possible to take your baby’s ashes home. Depending on which crematorium you choose there will be a designated area where the ashes are scattered.
You will be given the option of crematorium. These include Llwydcoed Crematorium Aberdare, where the baby’s ashes are scattered within the baby memorial garden; Glyntaff Crematorium Pontypridd, where the baby’s ashes are scattered at Cefn Y Parc Cemetery in the infants section; Coychurch Crematorium, where the ashes are scattered on the Rose garden.
Option 2. Private arrangements
You may wish to make your own arrangements with a funeral director of your choice.
The funeral director will be able to explain and discuss any further options that are available to you, such as cremation or burial sites.
Within Wales funeral directors generally do not charge a fee in the case of funerals for a pregnancy or child loss. You should however confirm this with your chosen funeral director in the first instance as there may be some low cost charges for additions above and beyond the basic funeral care.
Option 3. Clinical incineration
Some people decide that they do not want their pregnancy loss to have any specific status and will choose clinical disposal.
If this option is selected, your pregnancy loss will be transferred to the mortuary and then prepared for transfer to a clinical incineration facility along with other healthboard clinical waste.
As this is a processing facility there will be no ashes to retrieve or scatter following incineration.
Option 4. Undecided
As a Health Board we understand that making a decision about a funeral at such a sad time is very difficult and that you may need time.
If this is the case the hospital can give you up to one month to make a decision once you are discharged. You will be contacted by the healthboard bereavement co-ordinator, from a withheld number, for you to give them your decision.
If you cannot decide before you leave the hospital, once you have chosen the best option for you, you will need to come back to the hospital where your loss occurred and complete the relevant paperwork confirming your choice.
We appreciate that this can feel overwhelming, therefore if you feel that this would be too distressing to return to the hospital, we would encourage you to try and make your decision prior to your discharge.
You need to be aware that if the hospital are not able to contact you at home, despite multiple recorded attempts, and have not received your decision within 60 days of the date of your delivery, they have a legal obligation to proceed with arrangements for clinical incineration.
Option 5. Burial at Home
We recognise that there may be times when you would like to take your baby home and carry out a private burial there.
If this option is chosen, prior to leaving the hospital, you will be asked to sign a form stating that you are making your own arrangements.
You should be aware that there are specific guidelines that must be adhered to if you choose to carry out your own burial.
If this is something that you would like to explore further, please speak to your nurse who will be able to provide you with a fact sheet explaining this.
Accessing Support following your loss:
Cradle
A national Mental Health Charity providing support to anyone affected by the death of a baby during pregnancy, or termination of pregnancy. Our support services include weekly support groups online.
Website - www.cradlecharity.org
Contact - 0333 443 4630
E-mail - info@cradlecharity.org
The Miscarriage Association
Providing information and support to anyone affected by miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy.
Website - miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Helpline - 01924 200799
E-mail - info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Sands
Offering support for all types of pregnancy and baby loss as well as specific support for men, those bereaved long ago and those affected by TFMR (Termination for Medical Reasons).
Website - sands.org.uk
Helpline - 0808 164 3332
E-mail - helpline@sands.org.uk
Tommy’s Charity
Tommy’s Midwives’ helpline is for anyone who has experienced any type of pregnancy loss, including miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy or termination for medical reasons.
Helpline - 0800 0147 800
E-mail - midwife@tommys.org
Aching Arms
Aching Arms provide help and support for anyone who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss.
Website - achingarms.co.uk
Contact - 07464508994
E-mail - support@achingarms.co.uk
Twins Trust
The Twins Trust Bereavement Service offers compassionate support to families experiencing the loss of one or more of a set of twins or triplets. Online communities, peer to peer connections and resources available.
Website - twinstrust.org/bereavement
Local Support Groups:
Local Sands Groups/local support groups
Merthyr Sands
E-mail - Merthyr@sandsvolunteer.org.uk
Facebook Page - Merthyr Sands
Cardiff Sands
E-mail - cardiffsands@hotmail.co.uk
Facebook Page - Cardiff Newport Sands
Sands United Cardiff
A football team of dads and family members in South Wales, united by the loss of their children. Facebook page - Sands United Cardiff.
Bro Morgannwg Baby Loss Support Group is facilitated by trained befrienders, who hold a support group once a month. Further details and support is available on their Facebook page or E-mail Jess@bromorgannwgbabyloss.net
CTM Butterfly Baby Loss Support Group which meets once a month offering a safe and friendly support group facilitated by the local Bereavement Midwives. For more information and updates on group support please visit their facebook page CTM Butterfly Baby Loss Support Group or contact the Bereavement Midwives within Cwm Taf Morgannwg on CTM.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
If you have any questions or need any further information please contact:
Early Pregnancy Unit Prince Charles Hospital 01685 728894
Mon- Fri 08.30-16.30
Early Pregnancy Unit Princess of Wales Hospital 01656 754030
Mon- Fri 08.30-16.30
Gynaecology Day Assessment Unit Royal Glamorgan Hospital 01443 443230
Mon- Fri 08.30-16.30
Bereavement Coordinator for all losses within Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
Hospital Chaplaincy Team Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
Available for all aspects of Spiritual and Religious care via switchboard
Royal Glamorgan Hospital 01443 443443
Prince Charles Hospital 01685 721721
Princess of Wales Hospital 01656 752752
Bereavement Clinical Lead for Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
Donna Morgan 07890985949
