We wish to express our sincere sympathy to you and your family at this time. This booklet aims to provide some useful help and advice during the early days of your bereavement. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if you are unclear about any matter, our staff will always be pleased to help.
Practical necessities
What to do first
Please telephone the Bereavement Office between 9am and 4pm Monday to Friday on 0161 419 5034 / 5035, or via the switchboard 0161 483 1010.
The Bereavement Office will explain the next steps to you and will require the following information:
1. Who is the next of kin
2. Who is the Funeral Director (if known)
If the preferred contact is not the next of kin the Bereavement Office will need to confirm this with the next of kin.
If you choose to use a funeral director, you don’t have to wait and can contact a Funeral Director as soon as you feel ready.
Address:
Bereavement Office
Stepping Hill Hospital
Poplar Grove
Stockport
SK2 7JE
Why am I being asked if I have any concerns?
A discussion with a Medical Examiner or their officers provides you with an opportunity to have an open and honest conversation with someone who was not involved in providing care to the person who died. It is also an opportunity to ask questions and raise concerns.
What questions will I be asked?
The Medical Examiner or their officers will explain what is written on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death and check if you have any questions or concerns.
What will happen if something was not right?
The Medical Examiner and their officers are here to discuss any concerns you may have surrounding the death or the proposed cause of death to be completed on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. If the Medical Examiner identifies a concern this will be reported via the trusts governance channels for investigation. If you have concerns surrounding a patients care, or concerns with a ward, the Medical Examiners Officers can provide the information for the hospitals PALS team to investigate further.
Will funeral plans or release of the body take longer?
Medical Examiners make every effort to avoid any further delays to the families, friends and carers of the person. The Medical Examiner Office assumes legal responsibility of the case when we receive the necessary paperwork from the hospital doctors. Once the hospital’s medical team have provided this to the ME service the scrutiny process can begin and the Medical Examiner will agree a cause of death for the Hospital doctor to write. The hospitals bereavement team will then take back the responsibility of the case to organise a time for the hospital doctors to attend the bereavement office to complete the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death.
What can I do if I have questions or concerns about the Medical Examiner process?
If you are not satisfied with the Medical Examiner’s advice, we suggest you discuss this with the Medical Examiner’s office in the first instance. If you are still not satisfied you can contact the Regional Medical Examiner’s Officer.
How can I contact the Medical Examiner’s office?
Your point of contact will remain the Bereavement Office on 0161 419 5034 / 5035 who will liaise with the Medical Examiner’s office.
Email: Medicalexaminers.office@stockport.nhs.uk or via the switchboard
Opening hours: 08:30 – 16:30 (Monday – Friday)
Personal Property
Any personal property should normally be available from the ward as soon as possible, valuable items are stored within a safe in the cashier’s office. Ward staff should offer you any property when you attend so that you do not have to make multiple trips.
Personal identification may be required to collect certain items.
When you register the death
You should tell the Registrar...
• The date and place of birth.
• The deceased’s last (usual) address.
• The deceased’s first names and surname, and the maiden name if applicable.
• The deceased’s date of and place of birth.
• The deceased’s occupation and the name and occupation of husband (if applicable).
• Whether the deceased was receiving a pension or allowance from public funds.
• If the deceased was married, the date of birth of the surviving widow or widower.
The Registrar will provide...
A certificate for Burial or Cremation (known as the Green Form), unless the Coroner has given you an Order for Burial or a certificate for Cremation. Whichever form you are given will be needed by the funeral director so that the funeral can be held.
You will be able to purchase a Certified Copy of an Entry Certificate, which is needed for any pension claims, insurance policies, and financial matters. You may need several.
• Online - After you have registered the death, you can use the online service. The Registrar will give you a unique reference number which you will need to use the service. The website address is www.gov.uk/tell-us-once.
In both cases the service is available for 28 days from the date of registration.
Who can be notified?
The most updated list is held on the Gov.uk bereavement website, www.gov.uk/tell-us-once.
Information you will need to use the service
It will help if you have with you the following information, where relevant, about the person who has died when you use the service.
• Their date of birth and if you have it, National Insurance number.
• Details of any benefits or services they were receiving.
• Their death certificate.
• Their Driving Licence or Driving Licence number.
• Their Passport or Passport number and town/country of birth.
• Details of blue badge.
• Details of any recent stays in hospital, or a hospice care home.
You may also be asked for the contact details for:
• Their next of kin.
• A surviving husband, wife or civil partner.
• The person dealing with their estate.
You must obtain the permission of the persons listed above if you are going to provide information about them.
Things may need returning
After a death it is necessary to return the following items belonging to the deceased with a covering note to the appropriate authority as follows:
Done Date
Benefit and Pension Books (Social Security Office)
Passport (Passport Office)
Driving Licence (DVLA) Tel: 0300 790 6801
Registration documents of car, to change ownership (DVLA)
National Insurance papers (Tax Office)
NHS Equipment
Library Tickets / Season Tickets
Future financial help may be required; it is quite possible that you may qualify for help from the state. The telephone enquiry line for Social Security - 0800 731 0469.
They should be able to help with any general benefit enquiry and will give you advice on how you go about claiming.
Claim forms can be obtained from both Benefit Offices and the Post Office.
Probate and the estate
If you are an executor and entitled to deal with someone’s estate, you will probably then have to apply for legal permission (called ‘probate’) from the Probate Registry to do so. This may also involve sorting out any Inheritance Tax due.
Contact: Probate and Inheritance Tax helpline Tel: 0300 123 1072 www.hmrc.gov.uk
Probate information: www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance
You may choose to sort out probate yourself if the estate is relatively straightforward, or you can use a specially trained accountant or solicitor to help you.
Should you find it helpful to take advice from a professional service you can have a short consultation, for a fee you should agree in advance. You can then decide if you will need their help. Telephone the company to find out what their fee would be for providing an initial consultation and subsequent charges.
The whole process of going through Probate may take weeks.
The Probate Officer for Stockport area is Manchester 0161 240 5701.
You will then be given a ‘Grant of Representation’ form to give to financial and other organisations to release the ‘estate’ to you.
Cremation
No one can be cremated until the cause of death is known. There are certain forms that you will be required to sign.
The cost of the Crematoria is governed by local authorities.
Ashes can be scattered in a garden of remembrance or in a favourite spot. They can be buried in a churchyard or cemetery or they can be kept.
Arrangements may be made for erecting a plaque but there could be a charge.
Burial
There will normally be a request for a pre-arranged burial plot in a churchyard or cemetery.
The Church of England has set fees for burials of which your funeral director can advise you. The cost may be higher for the burial of someone who lived outside the parish.
Many churchyards are no longer open for burials because there are no spaces left, unless you own a family plot.
If a plot has been paid for in a cemetery, there will be a deed of grant. Most non-denominational cemeteries are owned by local authorities or private companies, so fees may vary.
Some people experience extremely disturbing dreams, others say that they actually see their loved one everywhere they go, commonly in the places that they used to spend time together.
It is also quite usual to feel angry at this time - towards doctors and medical staff for not preventing the death, towards people around you such as friends and relatives, or even towards the person who has left you.
Another very common feeling is guilt. It is likely that you will go over in your mind all the things you wished that you had said or done. In some cases you may even consider what you could have done to have prevented the death, even though death is usually beyond our control.
You may feel guilty if you are relieved someone has died, particularly after a distressing illness. This feeling of relief is perfectly natural and very common.
These strong, confusing emotions can be felt for quite a while after a death and are generally followed by periods of sadness and depression.
Grief can be sparked off many months after the death by things that bring back the memories.
It can be difficult for other people to understand when you burst into tears for no reason. Some people who can’t deal with this tend to stay away at the time when they are most needed.
The phrase “Time is a great healer” is in most cases certainly true, however the pain of losing a loved one never entirely disappears, nor should it be expected to.
The different stages of mourning tend to overlap and can show themselves in various ways. There is no ‘standard’ way of grieving as we all have our own way of dealing with difficult situations not least the loss of someone we love.
Grief in children and adolescents
Children feel the loss of a close friend or relative in much the same way as adults even though they may not fully understand the meaning of death.
Children experience the passage of time differently to adults and can therefore appear to overcome grief quickly. However children may need reassuring that they are not responsible for the death of a close relative as they can blame themselves for one reason or another.
It is important that the grief of a young person is not overlooked; they may not want to burden parents by talking about their feelings. It could help to include them in the funeral arrangements.
Friends and relatives can help
Being close to others can be a great source of comfort. It is not always necessary for them to say anything, just being there is enough.
It can be difficult for people to understand why you keep covering the same ground, talking and apparently becoming distressed about the same things over and over again, but this is an important part of the healing process.
Some people will not mention the name of the person who has died in case they upset you. This could lead to a sense of isolation and add to your grief, however it is important to talk about the person you have lost.
The do’s and don’ts of grief
Do choose a funeral director you like and trust.
Do express your feelings as much as possible.
Do talk through what has happened with someone you can trust (e.g. your family, a close friend, an appropriate support group).
Do contact one of the voluntary or hospital organisations (telephone numbers of which are contained within this booklet) if you would like to talk to someone - they are there to help you. Hospital Chaplain - 0161 419 5889.
Do take good care of yourself; get lots of rest, eat well and give yourself time to grieve.
Do begin to make plans for the future so that you will always have something to look forward to, but remember not to rush into any big life changes.
Do contact your doctor if you feel unwell or would like the doctor to refer you to someone to talk to.
Do keep in touch with family and friends, remember that most people are pleased to be asked to help.
Don’t rush into having the funeral right away unless it is the practice of your culture.
Don’t be afraid to express your feelings.
Don’t make any life changes whilst you are still grieving. Give yourself time to think about any changes you may wish to make.
Don’t enter any financial or legal arrangements unless you fully understand them.
Don’t rush to overcome your grief. There is no fixed time to get over a bereavement.
Don’t let others rush you into anything before you are ready.
Advice and support
We have listed several organisations used to dealing with bereavement. It can sometimes be easier to talk to a stranger than it is to talk to a person who is close to you.
Local contact numbers
Age UK Stockport
56 Wellington Street, Stockport SK1 3AQ
Tel: 0161 480 1211
Citizens Advice Bureau
Stopford House, Piccadilly, Stockport SK1 3UR
Tel: 0808 278 7803
Register Office
Registrar of Births and Deaths
Town Hall (John Street Entrance), Stockport SK1 3XE
Tel: 0161 217 6007
Stillbirth & Neonatal Society (S.A.N.D.S)
Tel: 0808 164 3332
www.sands.org.uk
Beechwood Cancer Care Centre
Chelford Grove, Stockport SK3 8LS
Tel: 0161 476 0384
www.beechwoodcancercare.org.uk
CRUSE (for the widowed)
Tel: 0808 808 1677
Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk
Welfare Rights Unit
Welfare Rights and Debt Advice Service, 4th Floor, Stopford House, Piccadilly, Stockport SK1 3UR
Tel: 0161 474 2140
The Samaritans
Heaton Moor Centre, Thornfield Road, Stockport, SK4 3LD
Tel: 0330 094 5717 or 116 123
Beacon Counselling Service
50-52 Middle Hillgate, Stockport,SK1 3DL
Tel: 0161 440 0055
Not a drop in centre, appointment only.
Poynton Information Centre
Poynton Town Council, Civic Hall, Off Park Lane, Poynton SK12 1RB
Tel: 01625 872238
Stockport Community Counselling Service
91 Station Road, Cheadle Hulme, Cheshire SK8 7BG
Tel: 07990 403319
www.sccounselling.org
Romiley Life Centre
3 Stockport Road, Romiley SK6 4BN
Tel: 0161 430 1130
www.romileylifecentre.co.uk
Samaritans
Freepost SAMARITANS
Tel: 116 123
LETTERS
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS)
SANDS, 10 - 18 Union Street, London SE1 1SZ
Tel: 0808 164 3332 (Helpline)
Switchboard
LGBT Health and Wellbeing
Tel: 0800 0119 100 (Helpline) or 0300 330 0630
Reference: Stockport NHS Foundation Trust Bereavement Book Review Date: March 2027
Publication Date: March 2025
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
